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00:00I
00:30I dreamt to have gone in the night.
00:55But I looked and you weren't there.
01:02Just a dream.
01:05I know.
01:08I'm sorry.
01:18Come to think of it, mate.
01:21I had a pretty weird dream too.
01:24Yeah.
01:25Oh, yeah.
01:27Pretty weird, alright?
01:30I dreamt that someone told me that they hated being a shitty navigator.
01:35I wanted to be a salesman.
01:39Wild.
01:42What?
01:44Bad.
01:45What?
01:46Oh, my God.
01:48It was real.
01:52What do you reckon then?
01:56You ready?
01:57No.
01:58Good a time as any.
02:01Okay.
02:02Can't be crying though, can we?
02:06Hey?
02:07Not going to look too good, is it?
02:11No.
02:12Well then.
02:13You know my old man was in antiques.
02:14When I was little, he used to take me out in his van, find some rundown old place, a real
02:23drum, owned by some rich biddy with a load of filthy cats and he'd go in.
02:28And honestly, before I had time to finish my sandwich, out he'd come with a nice little
02:45queen and dressing table.
02:47Yeah, you're the gift, wild man.
02:52The talent, he taught it to me.
02:55And now, I'm handing that to you.
02:59You understand?
03:02Okay.
03:06Oh, Christ.
03:17Didn't happen to notice the whole creep in and beat the crap out of me last night, did
03:21you?
03:23Right ready, Mr. Salesman.
03:29One more time.
03:31And we have here on offer, the finest range of creams, lotions and balms.
03:37And you'll find this?
03:39And you'll find this cup, colour?
03:41Collagen.
03:43With elastic.
03:44Elastin rich.
03:46Elastin rich cream, which will improve your skin smoothness and make you look younger.
03:52But, what if I forget?
03:54Well then make up.
03:56Remember, she's not buying the product, she's buying you.
04:01And who are you?
04:05Who the fuck are you?
04:07I'm Bunny Monroe.
04:08That's absolutely fucking right.
04:10Tell me again.
04:11I'm Bunny Monroe!
04:12I'm Bunny Monroe!
04:14And, Elastin rich cream will improve moisture up to 300%, but I don't think you need it.
04:31Actually, Dad, I think you've got the wrong house.
04:35Okay, I can't cope.
04:37Take my money.
04:39Really?
04:40I'll buy a dose of poison off you, you little cutie.
04:43I'll have two bottles.
04:45Okay.
04:46You know what?
04:47When you see that, Dad and his boy just, it just gets me.
04:52You know?
04:54Right here.
04:57Where?
04:58Right, mate.
04:59Why don't you go and wait outside while I take care of the boring old paperwork, yeah?
05:14Okay, Dad.
05:15It was nice to meet you.
05:19Hey.
05:21What I mean.
05:23Thanks, Dad.
05:26Oh, God.
05:27Oh, God.
05:31So cute.
05:32Ok, thank you.
05:36Let your dad in my house.
05:50A salesman.
05:55He is given a while.
05:56He's the best salesman in the world.
05:59He could sell your bicycle to a Barracuda.
06:03What?
06:05It's a predatory fish.
06:07Its jaws are armed with hundreds of razor-like teeth.
06:11Oh.
06:13You can hear it from miles away.
06:15She sounds like a strangled chicken.
06:20My mum died.
06:22I wish my mum would die.
06:26You alright, Tony?
06:34What's your trouble?
06:45For fuck's sake.
06:51I'll get it.
06:56Is that your dad?
06:58That's Tony.
06:59His mum's boyfriend.
07:02What's he like?
07:04He's alright, I guess.
07:06Dad bought me this.
07:09The bike?
07:10No, just the bell.
07:12It's a really cool bell.
07:14You think so?
07:16Yeah.
07:17It's great.
07:18Junior!
07:24Junior!
07:25Get in the car!
07:26Get in the car!
07:27Yeah!
07:28Fuck so much!
07:29Hello?
07:32Bye then.
07:33Hi!
07:37Okay.
07:38Yeah, I look like these.
07:39Come on!
07:40I'm fine alright, guys?
07:41Alright, shit.
07:42Everything's absolutely fucking perfect, my mum.
07:44You're fucking crazy!
07:46I've got me down in the lab!
07:48Fuck!
07:52Tell anybody, boy.
07:53Nothing like getting your pipes cleaned first thing in the morning.
08:03Who was your mate?
08:05She just came and talked to me.
08:07Alright.
08:08Fancy her, did she?
08:09Dad.
08:10Alright.
08:11She did, though.
08:12I can tell.
08:13She had that special light in her eyes.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah.
08:16Telling you, buddy boy, I can spot it a mile off.
08:17Maybe I should give her one.
08:18Well, one day, buddy boy.
08:19One day.
08:21So, where are we going next?
08:23I don't know.
08:24Check the list.
08:25I don't have the list.
08:26What do you mean, you don't have the list?
08:27You had the list.
08:28Well, where did I put it?
08:29I don't know.
08:30I must have left it, but, er, fuck.
08:32One day.
08:36So, where are we going next?
08:38I don't know. Check the list.
08:40I don't have the list.
08:42What do you mean you don't have the list?
08:43You had the list.
08:44Well, where did I put it?
08:45I don't know.
08:46Oh, I must have left it, but...
08:49Fuck.
08:54Do we need it?
08:55We're salesmen, aren't we?
08:56Yeah.
08:57Well, how the fuck are we going to be salesmen with no customers?
09:01So, should we go back and get it?
09:03Listen, I'm going to teach you the first rule of salesmanship, okay?
09:07No, fuck it. The first rule of being a man, never go back.
09:10So, what are we going to do?
09:12Just stop flapping your feet about. I'll work it out.
09:17Morning.
09:21Can I choose the social worker from my house?
09:26Fuck it.
09:28Tell you what, bunny boy.
09:31Why don't you head next door? Grab yourself some sweets.
09:35Then have a little sit outside.
09:37Too nice to be cooped up indoors, eh?
09:39Thanks.
09:40Good boy.
09:45Right, then.
09:47Okay.
09:48So, what happens now?
09:49I call the police.
09:50Police?
09:51What the fuck are you talking about?
09:54Mr Monroe, a Section 20 child protection order had already been filed when you absconded.
09:57The what?
09:58We didn't.
09:59When you absconded.
10:00It's now been escalated to a missing person.
10:01And the police are looking for you.
10:02He's not missing.
10:03Is he?
10:04He's right here with me.
10:06Stop.
10:07Listen.
10:08His mother has just died in the most tragic of circumstances.
10:11And I can't begin to explain the effect that has had on him.
10:14It's a fucking tragedy, if you must know.
10:16Right now, that boy needs his father.
10:24Don't do it.
10:25What are you doing?
10:26You know there's a pay phone down the road.
10:27I know.
10:28We'll be gone by the time you reach, yeah?
10:32The door won't open till it's finished, Billy.
10:34Fuck.
10:35Yeah.
10:38He's just a child, Mr Monroe.
10:41He's my boy.
10:43You're just showing him the ropes.
10:46I'm sorry about your wife, Mr Monroe, but this is what's best for Benny Jr.
10:51I do hope that one day you understand.
10:53What are you going to do?
11:13Ready, boy?
11:14Come on.
11:15Look lively.
11:22Good boy.
11:23Good boy.
11:29I gave you a list.
11:30I know you did.
11:31I need a new list.
11:32Well, those were good leads.
11:33They'll give me some more good leads.
11:35I can't keep giving up good leads every time somebody loses a list.
11:38I didn't lose it.
11:39What happened to me then?
11:40Well, Jesus Christ.
11:41Jeffrey, have you ever heard of an act of God?
11:44What's that mean?
11:45It means it wasn't my fault.
11:46So, Jeffrey, sweetheart, I'm going to get in the car and I'm going to come to the office and I'm going to get the list.
11:51No, no, no, no, no.
11:52I wouldn't do that, my friend.
11:53You know, I've had the police in here asking lots of questions about you.
11:56It's probably best if you lay low for a bit, Bun.
11:58What?
11:59Why?
12:00That woman called them, the one with the missing money.
12:07And what did you tell them?
12:08I told them that I didn't know where you were.
12:09Did you tell them that I didn't take it?
12:11Did you tell them that I wouldn't do that?
12:15Jeffrey?
12:16Jeffrey!
12:18I told them that I didn't know where you were.
12:20For fuck's sake!
12:38Dad?
12:39Are we going back to the office?
12:40No.
12:41But then we need another list?
12:42Yeah.
12:43So how...
12:44Second rule of being a man, make sure you've got at least one mate, I'll never let you down.
12:47It helps if you think the sun shines out of your ass.
12:48So don't aim too high.
12:49Hello you dirty cunt.
12:50Alright poodle, I can't get to the phone right now, so if you leave a message after the
12:54beep I'll follow back.
12:55I know where we'll be.
12:56We're going to the pub.
12:57The pub!
12:58The pub?
12:59Cool.
13:00Cool.
13:01I know where we'll be.
13:02We're going to the pub.
13:03The pub?
13:04Cool.
13:05I know where we'll be.
13:06I know where we'll be.
13:07We're going to the pub.
13:08The pub?
13:09Cool.
13:10I can't get to the phone right now, so if you leave a message after the beep, I'll follow back.
13:19I know where we'll be. We're going to the pub.
13:22The pub?
13:24Cool.
13:40You all right, Bun?
13:52Right, Bo?
13:53Poodle!
13:55Uh, Gaz, has Poodle been in yet?
13:57No, I've not seen it.
14:00Genia, come here. Sit down, I'm going to put them while we wait.
14:03Okay.
14:04Large scotch and a coke, yeah? A coke.
14:08Take it quick, eh, Bun? You know your lad ain't supposed to beat me.
14:11Yeah, yeah, I know.
14:14No school today?
14:21Oi!
14:22What are you doing?
14:30It's so cold.
14:32Dad, when are you going to go home?
14:42You want to be a top salesman?
14:44Yeah, of course.
14:45Well, top salesmen have got to be like sharks. Roofless, efficient, killer sharks, okay?
14:51Okay.
14:52I don't know what happens to a shark if it stops moving.
14:56What?
15:05He suffocates.
15:06Kicking man?
15:07What?
15:08You're gone.
15:09You're gone and you're gone.
15:10You're gone and old.
15:11Althoughái CANY Oooh
15:12FRIEND
15:14You're gone...
15:15Yeah, damn...
15:16Mog No
15:30UNA
15:31You're hibernator
15:32DER
15:34Well, fuck me, it's the boys.
15:44Hi, good old.
15:45All right, good old.
15:48What the crap are you actually steaming me?
15:50Hi, good old.
15:51What are you doing in here, little man?
15:54Just having a quick one.
15:58You, my little friend, are just too much.
16:00What, you were too busy to come and have a drink with your old pal?
16:03Come on now, as if I'm ever too busy for my mate, Poodle.
16:09Good to see you.
16:11Gary, a couple of scotches and another coat.
16:14Yeah, in a minute.
16:15Show your appreciation for...
16:16Not gonna lie, I've been pretty fucking busy working my list, mate.
16:19Oh, yeah, pretty fucking busy, you're pretty busy fucking.
16:22Well, I do like to go above and beyond for my customers.
16:25Oh, yeah, I know.
16:27What's a fucking...
16:28What?
16:30You all right?
16:30What's that?
16:34A few drinks with the boys?
16:36What more could I ask for?
16:38Dad.
16:39Right.
16:41Listen.
16:41I think I need a wee actually, Dad.
16:43Yeah, go on.
16:44Over there.
16:45So, Pood, mate.
16:46Been a bit of a hot streak, actually.
16:48Managed to go right through my list.
16:49So, I was gonna ask if there was any chance I could.
16:57Hey.
16:59You sure you're right, mate?
17:02Come on, man.
17:05Hey!
17:06What are you doing?
17:09There you go.
17:10I need a word, mate.
17:10I'm going to go.
17:32I'm going to go.
17:34Yeah.
17:35Poodle.
17:36No!
17:46Weird, isn't it?
17:58You don't have to understand, you know?
18:01It's okay to be a little boy
18:04I love spaceships
18:06Beatles
18:15Who, what?
18:17No!
18:20Yeah!
18:23Oh!
18:29Hey, Poodle, get out of the fucking way!
18:33Fuck off!
18:34Come on, fucking move it!
18:37Poo!
18:45What have we done?
18:48Run!
18:52Move the fucking arm!
18:57Move it on the fucking way!
18:59Joke, you pussy!
19:01Hey poodle!
19:02Show it to me!
19:03What?
19:04It's alright guys, he's had a few too many, mate.
19:06Back the fuck up for ya!
19:07Go on!
19:08Go on, show me!
19:09Show me there!
19:10Fuck this!
19:11Fuck this!
19:12Calm it down, now!
19:14Fuck this!
19:15Fuck off!
19:16Hey!
19:17Hey!
19:18You want pussy?
19:19Come here, come here, come here!
19:20Fuck you!
19:21What's the matter with you?
19:23Let's get you another drink.
19:29Sorry, is this your room?
19:35Oh, you're alright.
19:49Are you here with your dad?
19:53Christ.
19:54You didn't fancy the form affair, no?
19:56I'm not a little kid.
19:59Alright mate.
20:05A salesman.
20:07On the road.
20:09We'll be going soon.
20:11Alright.
20:12Work your man, is it?
20:13Won't be wanting any of this then.
20:29Come on Pooh.
20:30What's up with you, eh?
20:31She's gone.
20:32What are you talking about mate?
20:33Who's gone?
20:34Anna.
20:35My Anna, she's fucked off Bond and it's like...
20:38You're my mate, aren't you?
20:39Yeah.
20:40Of course.
20:41It's like she took it with her.
20:42All of a sudden, it's gone.
20:43I can't make a sale.
20:44I can't fork.
20:45I can't...
20:46It doesn't work anymore.
20:47Alright.
20:48Don't panic.
20:49Okay?
20:50It's just one of those things.
20:51Happens to everyone.
20:52Happens to everyone.
20:53Has it happened to you?
20:54Well no.
20:55But...
20:56...It's happened to people I know.
21:00Do you mean me?
21:02I don't know.
21:03I don't know, but...
21:05It's happened to people I know.
21:07Do you mean me?
21:10I don't know.
21:13But...
21:14It's happened to people I know.
21:16You mean me?
21:18No.
21:19I don't know.
21:20I don't know.
21:21Yeah.
21:23Nah, don't worry. Poor old Bun will sort you out.
21:27Gary, get us a couple more drinks, would ya?
21:45You alright?
21:47Yeah.
21:49Yeah.
21:51I should go.
21:53My dad's probably wondering where I am.
21:57Back to work, right?
22:01Working man.
22:05Actually.
22:09Can I please have some?
22:13Take it.
22:15Thanks.
22:17Good luck.
22:19We'll see.
22:25Everything's gonna be alright.
22:27Thanks, Polly.
22:29It's good to see you, mate.
22:39You too.
22:41Yeah?
22:43I didn't just come in to say hello, though, you know.
22:53I was after a bit of a favour, actually.
22:55What favour?
22:57Look, the truth is, I ran into a spot bother.
23:01Caught in my pants down, you know how it goes.
23:03And I managed to lose my list.
23:05I was gonna ask for a couple of names of yours, but actually, if you're not in the zone right now, then maybe I should take the whole thing off your hands.
23:15What do you reckon?
23:17That's why you're here.
23:19That's why you've come to see me.
23:21Yeah.
23:23I'm not being rude, Poo, but do you really think I've got time to be sitting around listening to your sob stories?
23:31It's your fault.
23:33What is?
23:35You fucked her.
23:37After the wake.
23:38Who?
23:39Annie.
23:41Did I?
23:42No, please.
23:43Poodle.
23:44What does it even fucking matter?
23:50Who?
23:51Who?
23:52Who?
23:53What the fuck?
23:54Get off her!
23:55Get the fuck...
24:00You're a cunt, buddy!
24:02A true, proper, total cunt!
24:04I've been your best mate for years, and I love you!
24:07But you don't give a fuck about anybody!
24:09Put it in fucking Monroe!
24:11No one did you kill herself!
24:22She had a condition.
24:23You knew that.
24:24Everyone knew that.
24:25She was ill.
24:26There's nothing me or anyone could do about that.
24:28It wasn't my fault.
24:29None of this is my fault.
24:34If you want to hold on to a bird for two fucking minutes, Poot, maybe try not being such a fucking loser.
24:39Lost it!
24:40Lost what?
24:41Lost it.
24:42You never fucking had it.
24:43You're a part-timer, mate, and also run.
24:45And if your bird were so special, why don't I even remember fucking her?
24:51Poodle!
24:52Poodle!
24:53Poodle!
24:54Poodle!
24:55Poodle!
24:56Dad!
24:57Poodle!
24:58I want you to say sorry to me!
25:00Poodle!
25:01Say sorry!
25:02Poodle!
25:03Say sorry!
25:04And then will you give me the fucking list?
25:05Poodle!
25:07Dad?
25:09Poodle!
25:11Poodle! I want you to say sorry to me!
25:13Poodle! Say sorry!
25:15Poodle! Say sorry!
25:17And then will you give me the fucking list?
25:21Oh my...
25:23Ah! No! No! No! No!
25:35Poodle!
25:37Poodle!
25:41Poodle, mate!
25:47Fucking hell!
25:49It's alright, mate. It's alright.
25:51I've called the police.
25:53My wife's on the phone to an ambulance.
25:55Please?
25:57Did you see the number plate?
25:59Help is on the way.
26:01Just stay as still as you can.
26:03Wait, where the fuck are you going?
26:05You can't just fuck off!
26:07Oi!
26:09Hey!
26:11How are you going?
26:13You can't just fucking leave!
26:35Hi!
26:41How are you going?
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