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Terra.Anatolia
  • 51 minutes ago
Transcript
00:00Jim, we have a situation.
00:03What's going on?
00:04I found this in Connor's bathroom.
00:07What am I looking at?
00:10A pregnancy test.
00:12Oh, my God. Did he get that girl pregnant?
00:14I don't know.
00:15Okay, everything's fine.
00:17You talk to him?
00:18Better. I went to the drugstore and got the pregnancy test instructions.
00:22Jim!
00:23One line is negative. She's not pregnant.
00:25Oh, thank God.
00:27No kidding.
00:28But you still have to talk to him.
00:30Wow, we're good.
00:34Yes?
00:35We need to talk.
00:39Look, I don't know what's going on in your personal life.
00:42She broke up with me.
00:51Still an old Connor, huh?
00:53He hasn't been out of his room all day.
00:55Poor guy.
00:57He'll be down when he's ready.
00:59Are you sure he's still up there?
01:00My sister runs away all the time.
01:02Yeah, I don't think you can run away from home at 27.
01:06I wouldn't know all my children are still here.
01:09He didn't run away.
01:11I heard him moving around.
01:12You were listening at his door?
01:14It's called parenting, and I'm good at it.
01:16I'll check on him after dinner.
01:19Oh, thank you.
01:20That's so sweet.
01:20Hold on.
01:21What are you going to say?
01:22Don't know.
01:23I don't usually think about stuff before I say it.
01:26We're working on that.
01:29Just remember, he's in a vulnerable place.
01:31I know.
01:32Oh, and don't badmouth Chloe, because if they get back together, you look like a jerk.
01:35Like this one did with Georgie?
01:37That was different.
01:38I also said those things to his face.
01:42We're working on that.
01:45And don't say nice things about Chloe, either.
01:47We don't want him trying to get her back.
01:49Y'all, I've been dumped before.
01:50I know how bad it feels.
01:52Oh, my God.
01:52I married you and gave you a baby.
01:54Move on.
01:54Move on.
02:22Yes?
02:29Hey, it's Georgie.
02:30Brought you some food.
02:31No, thanks.
02:33Are you sure?
02:34Meatloaf.
02:36The end piece?
02:38All burnt and chewy.
02:41Thanks.
02:42Hold on.
02:43What?
02:44I was thinking we could hang out and talk a bit.
02:46I'd rather not.
02:47Wasn't really asking.
02:48I just want you to know I get what you're going through.
02:54You do?
02:56When your sister broke up with me, it hurt like hell.
02:59Couldn't eat.
02:59Couldn't sleep.
03:00Couldn't even turn on Baywatch.
03:03And they just added Yasmine Blake.
03:07Well, I feel like...
03:11Hold on.
03:16Hi.
03:17I was just...
03:18Okay, talk to me.
03:30Everything was good.
03:31But when she thought she was pregnant, it all changed.
03:35Been there.
03:36She didn't see me as a struggling musician anymore.
03:38Suddenly, I was a guy without a job who lives with his parents and can barely take care of himself.
03:44You don't know that.
03:46She said those actual words.
03:49Yeah.
03:50It's not like she has her life together.
03:52Her music's not going anywhere.
03:54Her family doesn't talk to her.
03:56You've got every right to be upset.
03:57I'm going to call her and tell her how I feel.
03:59No, no.
04:00No, you don't want to do that.
04:02Why not?
04:03I'm hurting.
04:03Why shouldn't she?
04:05Trust me.
04:05There's no version of you making her feel guilty that goes your way.
04:08But it'll feel so good.
04:12Bro, I'm telling you, you've got to ride this one out.
04:15I don't know if I can.
04:18Whatever you want to say to her, say to me.
04:20That's silly.
04:21Try it.
04:22Might make you feel better.
04:22Fine.
04:27How could you do this?
04:29You said you loved me.
04:31Keep going.
04:33I trusted you, and you'd turn around and break my heart.
04:37Let it out.
04:38We wrote songs together.
04:39I introduced you to my family.
04:40We had mind-blowing monkey sex every day for a month.
04:46And it's out.
04:50Oh, I hate to see him like this.
04:53Oh, heartbreak's just a part of growing up.
04:55You know, there was a time we didn't know if he'd even have friends.
04:58Let alone a girlfriend.
04:59And look at what she did to him.
05:02He saw a naked woman.
05:03Take the win.
05:06How can you put a positive spin on this?
05:09Well,
05:09we thought he might be alone forever.
05:13Instead, there was a girl.
05:14He had a pregnancy scare.
05:17Or
05:18he had a pregnancy scare.
05:22Not funny.
05:25This is a good thing, Audrey.
05:27You know, it's kind of like Pinocchio.
05:29He's becoming a real boy.
05:32So what was he before?
05:35This is a good thing, Audrey.
05:39Hey.
05:47What?
05:47What the hell?
05:49What if I call her, but I promise to stay calm?
05:52Dude, we've been over this.
05:54You've got to be strong.
05:55I feel like I'm going crazy.
05:57Oh.
05:58I'm so sorry.
06:00Now get out.
06:01But I'm hurting.
06:03I know.
06:04Get out.
06:06Why don't we let her sleep and you and me watch a movie?
06:08Get your mind off things.
06:10What are you thinking?
06:11It's hard to be sad watching Jim Carrey.
06:13I don't know if I'm in the mood for a comedy.
06:15Stephen King, Cujo, Shining, Pet Sematary.
06:18You know I heard Shawshank Redemption is Stephen King.
06:20You don't, son.
06:21Oh my God, get out.
06:28Are you sure I shouldn't see Rocky 1, 2, and 3 first?
06:33Nah.
06:344 is really when the series finds itself.
06:36Fine, I don't want to talk to you anymore either.
06:44You were right.
06:45Shouldn't have called her.
06:47What, you called?
06:49Adrian flew to Russia to support Rocky, and I believed in love again.
06:53I told you it would make things worse.
06:55I couldn't help it.
06:57Where's your backbone, man?
06:58I'm doing my best.
07:00If you're not going to listen to me, leave me out of it.
07:02What is going on out here?
07:04He called her.
07:05You called her?
07:06I called her.
07:08Why would you do that?
07:09I told him not to.
07:11How many times am I going to get woken up over this?
07:13He called her.
07:14Why would you do that?
07:15Don't be mean to him.
07:20Okay, Cece, it's time to play Put the Toys Away.
07:24Can you help Mommy?
07:27Sorry, you're busy.
07:28Why don't you get back to me?
07:31Hello.
07:32What's up?
07:33Can you help me make a resume?
07:35Why?
07:36I need to get my life together.
07:39Okay.
07:40Pick up all this crap, and I'll go get the laptop.
07:41Sure.
07:43Come on, Cece.
07:44Help Uncle Connor.
07:51You ever made a resume before?
07:52I've never seen a resume before.
07:56Okay, well, here's mine.
07:58We can use it as a template.
08:01You type 75 words a minute.
08:03Do you want my help or not?
08:04You have so much experience.
08:07I have none.
08:08That's okay.
08:09Let's just start with education.
08:13And you graduated high school.
08:15Barely.
08:16You went to college.
08:17I crashed and burned in six weeks.
08:19Well, that's way more than Georgie, and he runs a business.
08:21Are you trying to make me feel worse?
08:23Okay, what about skills?
08:27You play like every instrument.
08:31Look how far it's gotten me.
08:33I even suck at girls, and that's the one thing musicians are good at.
08:36Okay, let's at least put down your phone number.
08:40What, so my mommy can answer when they call?
08:43All right, new plan.
08:45Day drinking.
08:48That is the time-honored refuge of the downtrodden.
08:50Yep, and another thing musicians are really good at.
09:00I remember when me and my first boyfriend broke up.
09:03Was that Dan?
09:04You remember him?
09:06He used to call me con-nerd.
09:10Yeah, he was great.
09:12What's going on here?
09:14I'm drinking my problems away.
09:16Isn't it a little early?
09:18What's in your hand?
09:21Cheers.
09:23Have you ever dealt with anything like this?
09:26A breakup?
09:27Sure.
09:27Really?
09:28You and mom broke up?
09:29I wasn't only with your mother.
09:31I had a life.
09:32I sowed my oats.
09:33Ew.
09:33Hey, if it wasn't for my oats, you wouldn't be here.
09:37So, uh, who was she?
09:43Pamela Jenkowski.
09:45Yeah.
09:46She was two years older than me in all the right places.
09:50Ew!
09:50I used to walk her home from school, carried her books, gave her my class ring to wear.
09:58Then her dad got transferred and they moved away.
10:01Oh.
10:01Yeah, well, you know, we promised we'd write, but, uh, one letter a week turned into one letter
10:07a month.
10:08And finally, got a box in the mail with my ring in it and a note that, uh, said she'd, uh,
10:19met someone else.
10:22And here's your keys.
10:36Thanks.
10:37Oh, you like Pearl Jam?
10:38Yeah.
10:39Cool.
10:40I don't mean to be rude, but do you have a boyfriend?
10:43You asking me out?
10:45No, no.
10:45I'm married.
10:46But my brother-in-law's single and he loves music.
10:49I saw Pearl Jam a couple years ago.
10:51In Denton?
10:52Yeah.
10:53I was at that show.
10:54So good.
10:55Yeah.
10:56What are you doing?
10:57It's called customer service.
10:59You're hitting on her.
11:00You're hitting on her?
11:01For Connor.
11:02Great guy.
11:03More hair than this one.
11:05I'm gonna go now.
11:08Can I at least get your number?
11:09Or can I?
11:10Congratulations.
11:13You scared her all.
11:15She'll be back.
11:16How do you know?
11:17She got a Subaru with 180,000 miles on it.
11:20She needs me.
11:26Oh!
11:28Yeah!
11:29Drink, sucker!
11:31Why are you so good at this?
11:33Six years of college, sucker!
11:35What is going on?
11:41Mandy's showing us what she learned in college.
11:44The dad paid for it because he's a what?
11:47Sucker!
11:50So this is your plan?
11:52Get him drunk?
11:53Dad was actually telling me about the first time he got dumped.
11:56Ugh.
11:57Pamela Jankowski.
11:59You're just jealous because she took my flower.
12:02Ew!
12:02How much have you had to drink?
12:06And who's watching CeCe?
12:08Oh, relax, Captain Buzzkill.
12:10I dropped her off at Mary's on the beer run.
12:13I'm not Captain Buzzkill.
12:15Great.
12:16There you go.
12:18There's a ping pong ball in this.
12:21Oop.
12:21Sorry.
12:24So did anyone ever break your heart?
12:27Actually, I've never been dumped.
12:29Wait, are you?
12:31Hey.
12:31Just because I did the breaking up doesn't mean it was easy.
12:35It's hard to be that person, too.
12:38Lane!
12:38Lane!
12:47Drink, drink, drink.
12:48What's going on?
12:49Oh, beer pong!
12:50You're on my team.
12:53Who's watching the baby?
12:55She's at your mother's, Captain Buzzkill.
12:57There you go.
13:01Ooh, you know what we should do?
13:03Order a pizza?
13:04No.
13:05Well, yes.
13:08But also, box up everything that Chloe left in your room and set it on fire.
13:16Yeah!
13:17Screw that bitch.
13:19Hold on.
13:20Let's all take a little break.
13:22Nobody's setting anything on fire.
13:24It's official.
13:26You married a dork.
13:27This is so nice.
13:36Getting drunk as a family.
13:39Thank you for today.
13:41Oh, don't thank me.
13:44Thank Lone Star.
13:45I know what I need to do now.
13:48You try and call her, I will kill you.
13:51No.
13:52I'm going to buckle down and focus on my music.
13:55Good for you.
13:55Are you going to start a band?
13:57Will we teach?
13:58Better.
14:00I'm going to write some songs and send them to Dr. Demento.
14:04He is a psychiatrist.
14:08He's a DJ.
14:10He plays all kinds of cool underground stuff on his show.
14:13I'm sorry.
14:15The plan to turn your life around is sending a tape to someone named Demento.
14:20Dr. Demento.
14:21Ah.
14:23Didn't mean to diminish his medical degree.
14:26I need to get to work.
14:32He's going to live here forever.
14:34Or
14:35he's going to live here forever.
14:44Is that the song?
15:08It's sounding good, Bubba.
15:11No, this is just a little pump-up music I wrote to get myself psyched to write the song.
15:17Oh, like Rocky's training music.
15:19Exactly.
15:19I finished my song.
15:24Oh, play it.
15:26Play it.
15:28It's called Do the Axolotl.
15:31I'm already confused.
15:32An axle-what?
15:35An axolotl.
15:36It's a Mexican salamander.
15:39Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
15:42Cuffin' up blood on the side of the road
15:49I've been run over by a heavy load
15:54But life's no issue
15:58When I regenerate my tissue
16:01Do the Axolotl
16:03More confused.
16:07It's about the breakup.
16:09How is this about the breakup?
16:13I did some research
16:15And it turns out
16:16An axolotl is one of the few creatures on earth
16:18That can regenerate its own heart.
16:21That's what I'm hoping to do.
16:24Why didn't you say that in the song?
16:26I did. Were you even listening?
16:33It's so good, sweetie.
16:35So you get it?
16:37It's so good, sweetie.
16:39Come on, I need a couple months
16:42But if I'm lucky
16:43It's so good, sweetheart.
16:46com
16:49What is this?
17:21Do the axolotl.
17:27Do the axolotl.
17:34Cuffin' up blood on the side of the road.
17:39I've been run over by a heavy load.
17:43Catchy.
17:44But life's no issue when I regenerate my tissue.
17:49Do the axolotl.
17:51I like it.
17:53I like it.
17:56I like it.
17:58I like it.
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