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Terra.Anatolia
  • 4 hours ago
Transcript
00:00Four years of film school for this shit.
00:23Yep, two hundred thousand dollars in debt,
00:25and now you get to film another shitty pilot presentation
00:27for another fucking house flipping show.
00:30God, what a fucking loser.
00:39Kill me.
00:52Hello?
00:53Hello?
00:58Hello?
01:08You're too late.
01:11I already sold it.
01:15You scared me.
01:16There's no reason to be scared.
01:18There's always another home right around the corner,
01:20just waiting to be flipped.
01:21I'm Tripp Engold, and you must be Wes.
01:26Yes.
01:29Look at you.
01:31Yeah.
01:33You got a really good energy about you, Wes.
01:34You seem like a real professional.
01:37Oh, right.
01:38Yes, I brought my transcript per your request,
01:42and then also my degree in cinematography.
01:43There's no need.
01:44I already called the university and vetted you.
01:47I'm sorry to be such a stickler on the hiring process,
01:49but professionalism is very important to me, Wes.
01:54How do you feel about it?
01:57About what?
02:00Professionalism.
02:01I'm for it.
02:05I think it's the single most important quality
02:07a human being can possess.
02:09I think the lack of it is the reason
02:10our society has gone off the rails.
02:12Don't you agree?
02:14Yeah.
02:16Totally.
02:16Of course.
02:17Permission to hug?
02:18Okay.
02:19Coming in anyway.
02:19Okay.
02:20Okay.
02:21I hope you're ready to get going,
02:22because we are going to make magic.
02:25The first scene for the pilot
02:27of the greatest house flipping show ever made,
02:29flipped and sold with trip and gold.
02:32Okay.
02:33Are you rolling?
02:34I'm rolling.
02:34Okay.
02:35That's a problem,
02:35because I know you're not rolling.
02:36I know this camera,
02:37and when it's rolling,
02:37the red light is beeping,
02:38and it's not beeping right now, Wes.
02:40Um, no, no.
02:41You're not rolling, Wes!
02:42Look!
02:43Look!
02:44Look!
02:44I'm rolling.
02:45Look, the red light is on.
02:46Just take a look.
02:46You're lying.
02:47You're lying to me.
02:47I swear.
02:48Take a look at it.
02:49Man?
02:53I don't see it.
02:56I don't.
02:59I got you!
03:00I got you!
03:01Yeah, I know.
03:02You got me.
03:03Professionalism, Wes.
03:05The single most important quality,
03:06followed closely by
03:07a good sense of humor.
03:10Okay.
03:11You're all right, Wes.
03:14I think this is going to be a good day.
03:15I think this is going to be a good day.
03:45You know, you did a really great job
03:50filming that intro back there, Wes.
03:53Oh, uh, thanks, man.
03:55Oh, 100%.
03:56Total pro.
04:03Are you going to tell me how I did?
04:07Um, I thought you were great.
04:09Really?
04:10Yeah.
04:11Oh, that means so much coming from you.
04:12I really want to get this right.
04:14So many of these house flipping shows,
04:16they're just janky, you know?
04:18And not just the filmmaking,
04:20the flips themselves.
04:21They're downright unethical, you know?
04:22They ignore the fundamental issues of the homes,
04:24the plumbing, the electrical,
04:26and they think, what,
04:27could you slap some 22-cent subway tile on it
04:30that it's a good flip?
04:31I don't think so.
04:32I don't think so.
04:33Yeah.
04:35Uh, yeah, totally.
04:36Yeah, you get it, man.
04:37You're so great.
04:39So, I think now would be a good time
04:41to get some B-roll, you know?
04:42I see this as the second part of the pilot
04:44where some kind of funky music's playing,
04:46and I'm explaining to audiences
04:47that we're headed off
04:49to a remote section of the woods.
04:50We're going to see this dilapidated,
04:52kind of creepy home,
04:53which, spoiler alert,
04:54of course is going to be somebody's dream home.
04:56But right now, it's like,
04:58almost looks like a place you'd get murdered in,
05:00you know?
05:00So, yeah, look around.
05:03Get some stuff.
05:04Uh, okay.
05:09That's just some tools of the trade.
05:10I like to carry a shovel
05:11to dig into the foundation,
05:13make sure it's solid.
05:15Right.
05:16Um, and the, uh,
05:19with the plastic tarp.
05:23You ask a lot of questions.
05:26Well, like you said,
05:29I'm a professional.
05:33Plastic tarp is for some painting
05:35we're going to do.
05:37Also, occasionally find some, uh,
05:39dead vermin underneath the house,
05:41and plastic's always good
05:42for carrying out bodies.
05:47That makes sense.
05:49Yeah, totally.
05:51Um, yeah.
05:52Um, could you remind me
05:58again where we're going?
06:00Yeah, it's just, uh,
06:01about 20 minutes up ahead here.
06:03We're getting there.
06:04Right.
06:06Um, what, what, what's the address?
06:09Why do you need the address?
06:12I'm just, uh, curious.
06:16You're a squirmy little bugger.
06:18Look at you.
06:18You're shaking over there.
06:19Yeah, I, I, I think I,
06:22I think I need to go
06:22to the bathroom.
06:23Oh, well, there's not
06:24many rest stops out here.
06:25Not much of anything,
06:26but, you know,
06:26you can just wait
06:27till we get to the house.
06:28I'm, I'm just not,
06:29I'm not sure if I could hold it.
06:30Well, it's really close.
06:31You're fine.
06:32Right.
06:32It's, it's number one,
06:33so maybe, maybe you could
06:35pull over real quick,
06:36and I can just, I can just.
06:37No, there's no shoulder
06:37on the road.
06:38I wouldn't want anything
06:38bad to happen to you.
06:39I know, I just, I just,
06:40I really, I really,
06:41really gotta go.
06:42This came on kind of suddenly.
06:43Yeah, man, I don't know.
06:45I just, I can't,
06:47I don't know.
06:48Can you, I just,
06:49can you pull over, please?
06:50No, I can't do it,
06:51because it's dangerous.
06:53How do you,
06:53no, please stop.
06:54I just really gotta go.
06:55How do you open this thing?
06:57Oh, fine.
06:58You gotta go?
06:58You gotta go.
07:01Whoa, whoa.
07:02Not very professional, Wes.
07:06Jesus.
07:10All right.
07:13It's a real bummer, Wes.
07:26Not only is this unprofessional,
07:31it's downright anticlimactic.
07:35I mean, I spent a lot of time
07:37in that house.
07:40It's a house of horrors
07:42the likes of which
07:44we haven't seen since
07:46the climax of
07:47Home Alone 2.
07:51Oh, no.
07:53Please don't tell me
07:54you're gonna make it this easy.
07:58It's okay.
08:00It's okay.
08:01This is just a little confusing,
08:03is all.
08:04I mean, I'm confused,
08:06you know?
08:06It's all happening
08:09a lot faster
08:11than it normally does.
08:14I mean,
08:16part of me wants
08:17to stretch it out,
08:18you know?
08:19Like,
08:21let you run around
08:21a little bit,
08:22I could chase you some more.
08:24But also,
08:25another part of me is like,
08:27this feels kind of sad.
08:31Please, I just...
08:31Yeah.
08:39That's sad.
08:45No, no, no, no.
08:46I think I can do this all over.
08:50I'll play my calendar tomorrow.
08:53Find someone else
08:54a little more professional.
08:56Oh, my God.
09:07Didn't even come
09:08close to using you.
09:10Sorry, PF.
09:11Not your night.
09:16Maybe it's me.
09:18Maybe I'm getting rusty.
09:20It's on to me so quickly.
09:23Too many clues
09:24in the back seat, maybe?
09:25I wonder if I
09:27put the tarp...
09:30Yeah, just the tarp
09:31in the back
09:32and then save the shovel,
09:34the big reveal
09:35at the house.
09:36Might be a...
09:43Oh!
09:53Yes!
09:54Thank God!
09:55Step away from the car.
09:57Okay!
09:58Thank God!
09:59Thank God you're here!
09:59Stop, stop!
10:00But do not move!
10:01Hands on your head!
10:02Yes!
10:02You got a mark?
10:03Yeah, but look!
10:04Look what happened!
10:04Look!
10:05Look!
10:06Hands on your head!
10:07Yes!
10:09We got a male.
10:1020s.
10:11Unconscious.
10:12He's not unconscious!
10:13He's dead!
10:14It's my sweet question.
10:16That man killed him.
10:17Oh, God!
10:19He's in the woods
10:20and he's getting away!
10:21Get down on the ground!
10:22Right now!
10:23You don't understand!
10:23On the ground!
10:24On the ground!
10:25Now!
10:25Okay!
10:25All right!
10:26Okay!
10:26Okay!
10:27You guys are great.
10:29You're great
10:29and you're very in command
10:30and you're doing a great job
10:32but you're missing
10:32one very important thing.
10:34There is a man,
10:36a killer,
10:36who killed my friend
10:38and he is in the woods.
10:39Who are you talking about, sir?
10:41I don't know!
10:43Okay.
10:44I'm sorry.
10:45I'm just so stupid.
10:47I didn't get his name.
10:48Tell us what happened
10:50step by step, sir.
10:53Okay.
10:54But it's really scary.
10:58There was a man.
11:00He was a bad man
11:02but he didn't seem like it.
11:03He was a little weird
11:05and hyper
11:06but he seemed harmless
11:08and he hired me
11:09and Wes,
11:10my filmmaking partner,
11:12to film
11:12this pilot
11:14for this really
11:15interesting new
11:18house flipping type show,
11:19you know?
11:20And he had a cool take.
11:23It was like
11:23integrity
11:25and professionalism
11:26and...
11:28Sir, please
11:28get to the point.
11:29Yes.
11:30I'm sorry.
11:31It's so...
11:32So are you okay?
11:36I feel like
11:38I'm in a horror movie.
11:40Is this real?
11:41Are you even real?
11:42Is this real?
11:42I'm sorry.
11:43I'm sorry.
11:45He put us in the car
11:47and he drove us
11:47out into these woods
11:48and there was like
11:50all these weird things
11:53started happening.
11:54Like I looked in the back
11:54and there was a shovel
11:55and there was a plastic tarp
11:57and then
11:58I looked at Wes
12:00and I was like
12:01this is weird, right?
12:02And then
12:02Wes is really smart
12:05and he was like
12:06Sir, I have to go
12:06to the bathroom
12:07and the guy's like
12:08No, you can't go
12:08to the bathroom.
12:09We're almost to the house.
12:10And Wes is like
12:10I really have to pee
12:11and he's like
12:12No.
12:13And so Wes just
12:13bolted out of the car
12:14and he ran in that direction
12:16and I ran in that direction
12:17and the guy
12:18he just chased Wes
12:20instead
12:20and he killed him
12:21and he
12:22and I feel guilty
12:24that I'm alive
12:25and he's not
12:26but then I got
12:30but wait, wait
12:31I'm not finished
12:32hold on
12:33that's when I got
12:34really brave
12:34and I jumped on his back
12:37and I whacked him
12:38with the shovel
12:39like two times
12:39really hard
12:40and he started wobbling
12:41and he was like
12:41get up
12:42Okay, okay
12:42stay down
12:44stay down
12:45Right
12:46but he was wobbling away
12:48and so I said
12:49I just gotta grab Wes
12:50and put him in the car
12:51and take him to the police
12:52and that's when you showed up
12:53Why didn't you just call us?
12:57Because there's no cell phone
12:58Get her hands out of your pocket
12:59Stop yelling at me
13:01like I'm the bad guy
13:03I'm the good one here
13:05The bad guy is out in the woods
13:08and you are wasting your time
13:09here with me
13:09I promise you
13:10I'll stay here
13:11I'll be a little
13:12well behaved nugget
13:13So have you used any substances?
13:15No, I haven't used any substances
13:16Please, one of you
13:18I'm begging you
13:18You
13:19or you
13:20go in the woods
13:22He could be out there
13:24Please
13:26Go check it out
13:29Thank you
13:31Sir
13:31Thank you
13:32On the ground
13:33and just wait here
13:34Yes, okay
13:35I will
13:35He's wearing a black
13:37button-up shirt
13:38and silk black pants
13:39Well, take care of it, sir
13:41Make sure you get the right one
13:43Dispatch
13:43Uh, this is Officer Mar
13:44I'm out on Old Hutt Road
13:46I need backup
13:47We have an incident out here
13:49About, uh, 50 yards off the turnout
13:52Thank you so much
13:55Listen, Officer
13:56I have a question
13:57It's totally okay if this is a no
13:59but my knees are really
14:00just barking at me
14:01Is it okay if I just sit
14:03like crisscross applesauce?
14:04Sir
14:04That is
14:06Thank you
14:06Oh, thank you so much
14:07Thank you
14:08It's fine, sir
14:08Good at your job
14:09and kind, too
14:10I hope your friend's
14:13doing okay out there
14:14This guy is really dangerous
14:17I mean, I think he could be
14:18an actual serial killer
14:20The, the, the poise
14:22The charisma
14:24He's just a real professional
14:27Please be quiet
14:29Sorry
14:29Copy
14:35Is that backup calling in?
14:40Sorry
14:41I, none of my business
14:43Good thing for backup though, right?
15:02Did you always know you wanted to be a cop?
15:04That, that's personal
15:06I'm sorry
15:07I'm just curious about the
15:09the whole process, you know
15:11It's such an important job
15:13You've got to be really good at it
15:15So do they vet you?
15:16Is it like a really long school?
15:19Can anybody become a cop?
15:22You have so many people's
15:23lives in your hands
15:24You know, it's like airline pilots, you know
15:26You're just like
15:27Okay
15:28He's flying us around
15:30I hope he's competent
15:31I know I'm talking a lot
15:49Just two more quick things
15:50First
15:51I'm so sorry
15:52I was such a crazy person earlier
15:54I'm together now
15:54And secondly
15:55Thank you
15:57Thank you for
15:58showing up
15:59and
15:59and being so good at your job
16:01There's no one out there
16:03Yeah?
16:04Yeah
16:05But I did find some blood
16:07and some evidence of a scuffle
16:09for sure
16:09So
16:10let's not lie about that
16:12Not lie
16:13Wait, you think
16:13I
16:14You thought I was lying?
16:16We don't know what happened here, sir
16:17Sir, all we know is that
16:19we found you dragging
16:20a dead body
16:20in a sheet of plastic
16:22heading towards your car
16:23It's his car
16:25not my car
16:27Yeah, okay
16:27But you're the only person out here
16:29and we have a responsibility to go
16:31with only the evidence we have
16:33So
16:34Wes?
16:36Wes!
16:37You're alive!
16:38Easy, easy
16:39Back away, sir
16:40Back away
16:41Sit down
16:42You okay?
16:44You okay?
16:45You're okay, buddy
16:46You're okay
16:46Sir, we need you to be quiet
16:48so that we can ask your friend
16:49some questions
16:50Slowly, slowly
16:51Take it slow
16:52Take it slow
16:53Okay, sir
16:53We've got you
16:53We've got you
16:54We've got you
16:54We've got you
16:55Easy breaths
16:56We've got you
16:57Easy breaths
16:57We've got you
16:57Okay
16:59Sir, are you okay?
17:03I don't
17:04I don't know
17:05I
17:05I don't
17:06Sir, I'm a police officer
17:08I'm here to help
17:10I can't
17:11I'm sorry
17:12I can't really
17:13see you
17:14Who are you?
17:15I'm a police officer
17:16I'm here to help
17:17You are
17:19You are?
17:19Yeah
17:19You are?
17:21Oh my god
17:22Oh my god
17:23Thank you
17:24Thank you
17:25Where is he?
17:27Where is that horrible man?
17:28Which man?
17:29Which man?
17:29Who are you talking about?
17:30The killer
17:31The killer
17:32He's wearing a black button
17:34I'm sure it was a black pants
17:36And
17:37He's so fucking evil
17:39He
17:40He's so evil
17:41He
17:41He
17:42He said he was a real estate agent
17:45And he wanted to make a video
17:46For some stupid fucking house show
17:48And then
17:48He chased me into the woods
17:51And then
17:52He tried to kill me with a shovel
17:53Okay
17:56Okay
17:56Alright sir
17:57Oh
17:59Oh
17:59Oh
18:00Oh
18:01Oh
18:02Oh wow
18:03That's a lot of blood
18:05Oh
18:06Oh
18:08Oh
18:09Oh
18:09Oh
18:11Shit
18:11We need to get him to a hospital
18:12Okay
18:12Alright
18:13Wait
18:13You're not finished questioning him yet though
18:15No
18:16No
18:16Get him in the hospital
18:16Get him to the hospital
18:17Take him in
18:18I got him
18:19I got him
18:19Here we go
18:20Here we go
18:20Follow me
18:21Sir
18:21Sir
18:22We need you to back away
18:23You're okay
18:23Okay
18:24Come on
18:25Come on
18:26Come on
18:27Listen
18:27Sir
18:28Follow us to the hospital
18:29Okay
18:30Yes
18:30And then we'll continue the question
18:31Yeah
18:31Yeah
18:32Yeah
18:32Yeah
18:32Yeah
18:32Yeah
18:32Yeah
18:32Yeah
18:32Yeah
18:53Are you serious
18:59Sir
18:59Sir
19:00Sir
19:00Sir
19:02What are you doing
19:03Get back in the car
19:04Follow us directly to the hospital
19:06I have to talk to you about something
19:08Get back in your car
19:11It's going to be a bit uncomfortable
19:13It's going to be a bit uncomfortable
19:13But it's very very important
19:15I don't know
19:15It's your turn man
19:16We don't have time for this
19:18Is he kidding me
19:18We don't
19:18We have somebody
19:20I know
19:20We need to get him to the hospital
19:21One day
19:22Go ahead
19:23I'll go check
19:24Yeah
19:24Oh okay
19:25We got to get there
19:26Yeah I know we got to get there
19:28Come on man
19:28God damn it
19:30Sir
19:30Thank you so much
19:30What are you doing
19:31Thank you
19:32You have to follow us to the hospital
19:33Turn around here
19:35So we can turn around
19:36No no no no
19:39What I wanted to tell you
19:49Is that you're incredibly unprofessional
19:51Fake
19:56Unpro
19:58Professional
19:59You guys should not
20:04Be letting people like me go
20:06It's so disappointing
20:09You're supposed to protect us
20:11I don't know
20:18Maybe it's me
20:20Maybe I'm just getting old
20:23Is excellence not a thing anymore?
20:30It's like all we're shooting for
20:31Is just a
20:32B minus
20:34Everybody gets a trophy
20:39You know
20:39Sure everybody gets a trophy
20:41You get a trophy
20:44You get a trophy
20:46Everybody gets a trophy
20:49Oh right
20:53Time 42
21:03Computer
21:10They're fine
21:11Yes
21:14They will
21:16Freak of the
21:16Gr curve
21:17In fact
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