The Creep Tapes Season 2 Episode 1

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Transcript

00:00My love and love is so good that I enjoy my life, your best friend.

00:02My pleasure is to be here.

00:10I love my friends.

00:12I'm very excited to be here.

00:14I want to be here.

00:16It's a good time to be here.

00:18I want to make sure to find the world who want to be here.

00:20I love being here.

00:22I'm afraid I can just go on.

00:24I'm going to be okay, but I can get to it.

00:26I want to make sure that you don't know the world is going up.

00:58Oh, my God.

01:17Oh, my God.

01:23You had ten minutes alone by yourself down here.

01:26And yet you didn't even try to escape.

01:31And why is that?

01:36Because you're the greatest person that's ever lived.

01:38No matter how many times I scared you, or threatened you, you still believed that I was good.

01:54And that is why you will always be my favorite of them all.

02:01I don't know.

02:03I don't know.

02:04I don't know.

02:05I don't know.

02:06I don't know.

02:07I don't know.

02:08I don't know.

02:09I don't know.

02:10I don't know.

02:11I don't know.

02:12I don't know.

02:13I don't know.

02:14I don't know.

02:16I don't know.

02:17I don't know.

02:18I don't know.

02:19Oh, oh, oh!

02:49They say imitation is the highest form of flattery.

03:10I'm not so sure.

03:19I'm not so sure.

03:49Whoa, major deja vu.

03:56Joni said it best.

03:58I've looked at life from both sides now.

04:05Good old days.

04:17Cute little lake.

04:21Cute little town.

04:24There it is.

04:32Yellow door.

04:34What is time?

04:39A little moody up here.

04:46Yes.

04:48Little bit ominous.

04:52Should be interesting.

04:55All right.

04:57Let's see.

04:58Wanted.

04:59Someone to fill me for the day.

05:00No questions asked.

05:01Pays $100.

05:06$100?

05:08Really?

05:09Look, I don't want to judge my little copycat buddy, but it feels a little cheap.

05:16Maybe a little dis...

05:19Hi.

05:20Hi.

05:21Oh my God.

05:25Oh my God.

05:26This is going to be a good day.

05:29You have a really nice, kind face.

05:34I've never heard that before.

05:36I'm Joseph.

05:40Your name's Joseph?

05:43Okay.

05:44Uh, my name's Joseph.

05:45You serious?

05:46This is...

05:47Twinsies?

05:48I mean...

05:49Get out of the car.

05:50Come here.

05:51Oh, okay.

05:52Come here.

05:53All right.

05:54What's next, Joseph?

05:55Okay.

05:56I feel like we should do this right now because at the end of the day, it's going to be totally

06:05normal.

06:06Oh.

06:07Oh.

06:08Trust me.

06:09It's not going to be weird at all.

06:12But that's all I get.

06:15I don't think so.

06:16Come on.

06:17Give me a good one.

06:18Oh.

06:19Come on in.

06:20We need a bathroom.

06:22Already?

06:23Huh?

06:24You're in the bathroom already?

06:25Yeah.

06:26I know this isn't supposed to be a shot-for-shot remake, but is he really going to skip the

06:37whole My Life setup?

06:39It's an important scene.

06:44I'm sure you're wondering why I brought you all the way out there to film me.

06:51Here's the thing.

06:52I'm not cancer survivor.

06:53What?

06:54Huh?

06:55I'm sorry.

06:56I can't understand you.

06:58Did you hear anything that I just said?

06:59Should I start over?

07:00No.

07:01No.

07:02No.

07:03No.

07:04No.

07:05No.

07:06Look, I'm just a cameraman, but was what you were trying to tell me important?

07:07Yes.

07:08I don't know.

07:09No.

07:10No.

07:11No.

07:12No.

07:13No.

07:14No.

07:15No.

07:16No.

07:17No.

07:18No.

07:19No.

07:20No.

07:21No.

07:22No.

07:23No.

07:24No.

07:25No.

07:26No.

07:27No.

07:28No.

07:29No.

07:30No.

07:31No.

07:32No.

07:33No.

07:34No.

07:35Yeah, then you might-

07:37What?

07:38What?

07:39Might it have been wiser to do this dialogue in a place?

07:42This is a little quieter?

07:43I need you to film me for my unborn son, so that in case I die...

07:46The volume's great.

07:48It's just the intelligibility...

07:49The tub is just very loud, and...

08:01When I was a little boy, my mom would give me tubbies..

08:04It's my favorite time of the day.

08:08We called it tubby time.

08:12Yeah.

08:14I'm familiar.

08:16I love a tubby.

08:17Let's do it.

08:22I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

08:31But we're gonna go a lot deeper places than this.

08:34You doing okay?

08:51Yeah.

08:56Could be a lot better.

08:57All right, Mr. Joseph. I am rolling. I've got a nice shot with two candles, but there's also this tighter shot with just one candle.

09:11A tighter shot with just one candle.

09:13A tighter shot.

09:14Yeah. Good. Okay.

09:15Um...

09:16Last thing...

09:17Last thing...

09:19You don't happen to have a different color washcloth, do you? Like, if you had like a burnt orange or something...

09:23If you don't mind, could you just stick to the filming and let me stay at my own pace?

09:29Absolutely. You know what? You're totally right. I'm sorry. You're the boss. I'm here to support.

09:33Okay.

09:34Go ahead.

09:35Okay.

09:36Go ahead.

09:37Where was I?

09:38You were lamenting that this was a sad scene and that tubby time should be fun and not sad.

09:39Right. Thanks.

09:40Wait.

09:41Wait.

09:42Wait.

09:43Wait.

09:44Wait.

09:45Wait.

09:46Wait.

09:47Wait.

09:48Wait.

09:49Wait.

09:50Did I say that part already?

10:10Did I already say that?

10:11Yeah.

10:12Of course you did.

10:15How would I know what you said if you hadn't already said it?

10:16Right.

10:17Right, and then you said something about ending it and I don't know something about killing

10:25yourself I think.

10:30It's true.

10:36I could you.

10:42I could end it.

10:48Do you think about suicide a lot?

10:49Would you please stop it?

10:50I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right.

10:52Go ahead.

10:54Please.

11:03Oh.

11:06That kind of ruining it.

11:08Hold your nose like that.

11:11Still though.

11:12Pretty good at holding you rough.

11:14I'm not really milking it going for that Oscar.

11:18Look, I'm sorry I tried to drown you, okay?

11:31I just, you said you wanted to end it and, I don't know, I just thought I was helping.

11:39This may sound strange, but even though we just met, I consider you a new friend.

11:45Whoa!

11:46Major deja vu.

11:47Did you feel that?

11:48Yes.

11:49Yes.

11:50Two friends.

11:51New friends.

11:52Having a drink.

11:53Some whiskies or maybe some tea.

11:56Oh.

11:57And maybe one of the drinks has been tampered with.

12:01It's from like a viral video or like a movie or something, right?

12:04I don't know.

12:05Yeah.

12:06Princess Bride!

12:07Inconceivable!

12:08The game of wits has begun.

12:10It ends when you decide and we both drink.

12:14Iocaine powder.

12:15I'd stake my life on it.

12:17Prince Humperdinck, am I right?

12:18Oh my God, Chris Sarandon, one of the best comedic performances of the 80s.

12:22He's supposed to be this like evil villain, but he's really this like total loser.

12:26It's so funny.

12:27Anyway, this is going to be our game.

12:29One good drink.

12:30One bad drink.

12:32You decide.

12:35Look man, we're supposed to be filming a video for my uncle.

12:38Uh, hello.

12:39What do you think we're doing?

12:41Say hi buddy.

12:43Hello little buddy.

12:44Playing a fun little drinking game with your dear old dad.

12:47It's so fun.

12:49It's so fun.

12:50I don't understand.

12:52It's the game.

12:53Okay.

12:54All right.

12:55Maybe you're going to need a little hint.

13:03That was a good one.

13:05This is the bad one.

13:08What do you do?

13:11It's like speed.

13:12What do you do?

13:16I don't know.

13:17What do I do?

13:19Well, you could end it like you were talking about in the bathroom or make it exciting.

13:24You could try to force me to drink it.

13:26A little scuffle ensues.

13:28You know?

13:29But this, look, this is your movie.

13:30You're the director.

13:31I'm just the cameraman.

13:32Gotta make a choice.

13:33You want to win the game?

13:34Gotta do something.

13:39I don't know.

13:40I don't know.

13:41I don't know.

13:42Oh my God.

13:43Okay.

13:48All right.

13:49Well, you win the game.

13:51Congratulations.

13:53I drank the powder.

13:54You're a very strange person.

14:01Did you know that?

14:04That tastes weird.

14:07Yeah.

14:10Do you realize what you've just done to yourself with their little game?

14:15Do you have any idea who you're dealing with?

14:24Do it to...

14:26Who I'm...

14:30Funny.

14:31Oh.

14:36It is a good day.

14:55Oh God.

14:58Oh my God, it's such a good day.

15:01You probably guessed by now that you answered the wrong ad today.

15:12Buddy.

15:14This is the end of your road.

15:19Hey.

15:21Hey.

15:22I don't want you to feel bad about yourself, okay?

15:25You were up against a very formidable foe.

15:32I learned from the best.

15:35The best of the best.

15:36Do you want to see?

15:37You want to see?

15:38Okay.

15:39Look at this.

15:42Okay.

15:43I found this on the dark web a couple years ago.

15:46Oh, he blurred out his face and his voice.

15:48But look, yeah.

15:49Oh my God.

15:50Look.

15:51It's the best.

15:52The best to ever play the game.

15:53I may not be as good as him yet, but...

16:08I'm getting better every day.

16:10Oh no, no one's gonna help you.

16:11No one's gonna save you, okay?

16:12No, no, no.

16:13I gotta say something.

16:15What?

16:16I gotta say one thing.

16:17Fine, fine, fine.

16:18But if you scream, I'm going to bury this axe in your face, okay?

16:20Okay.

16:21Okay.

16:24Oh, okay.

16:25Thank you so much.

16:26Okay.

16:28Quick confession.

16:29I lied.

16:30It's not just one thing.

16:31It's two things.

16:33Actually, it's two things and a question.

16:34So it's technically two things.

16:35Okay, just move it along.

16:36Okay, first thing, you didn't trick me.

16:39I voluntarily drank the drink.

16:41That was a wild choice.

16:43Second thing, that mask you're wearing, it's really janky.

16:46I think you need to consider more carefully the brands you love and how you represent them.

16:51You really are a strange person.

16:53Third thing, were you in the Boy Scouts?

16:57Yeah.

16:59I thought so.

17:00Because these knots you tied, they're really good.

17:04But they're not great.

17:06You didn't make it all the way to Eagle Scout, did you?

17:09Yeah.

17:10It's okay, I guess.

17:11But sometimes going all the way matters.

17:15Sometimes that final knot makes a big difference.

17:22Sometimes it's the difference between life and death.

17:27Buddy, you're not going to talk to yourself.

17:28Hey, if I ask you a question, will you answer me honestly?

17:39When you saw that axe back at the house, was there a small party that thought I might kill you with it?

17:44No.

17:45No, no.

17:46There's a check in your boot, Aaron.

17:49How did you know that?

17:50No.

17:51Hello, my name is Beach Bus.

17:53Oh, my God.

17:54What did you...

17:55Did you...

17:56Did you see the film?

17:58I didn't have to see it.

18:01I lived it!

18:05Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it right there.

18:08You know who I am.

18:10You know what happens if you run.

18:12Come on.

18:13Let's talk this out.

18:16Come on.

18:17Take a seat.

18:19It's okay.

18:25Good boy.

18:27Now listen.

18:29I was really excited to meet you.

18:30I have very high hopes.

18:32I thought maybe we could even team up.

18:35I don't want to be just Daryl Hall when we could be Hall and Oates.

18:38That way no one has to die.

18:39I'm trying.

18:40The problem...

18:41No, listen.

18:42The problem is you're not very good at your job.

18:45I try very hard at my...

18:46Don't tell me you're trying.

18:47You're just not trying hard enough.

18:49But the good news is there's hope.

18:52Okay?

18:53Remember in the late 50s,

18:55there was a mediocre cover band out of Liverpool called the Quarrymen.

19:01They didn't become the Beatles until somebody took a shot on them.

19:05I want to take that shot on you.

19:07You pity me.

19:08I don't.

19:09Yes, you do.

19:10Well, maybe a little.

19:11You drank the poison last night.

19:13Well, I wanted you to feel you were doing well.

19:16You let me tie you up.

19:18I am not left-handed.

19:19I am pathetic.

19:21I got nothing to offer.

19:22Don't you dare say that.

19:24Every human being has something to offer.

19:27There's something you could do right now that would be unforgettable.

19:31You just have to be brutally, painfully honest with yourself.

19:44Oh, he's got something.

19:59He's got something.

20:01Oh, wow.

20:03Oh, wow.

20:07Okay, here he comes.

20:08Here he comes.

20:09This is original.

20:27This is original.

20:57This is original.

21:27This is original.

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