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Terra.Anatolia
  • 1 hour ago
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00:00I've been waiting, waiting for somebody like you.
00:08What's your first impression?
00:10Happy. You're super handsome.
00:12The day we got married, I didn't know you.
00:15I chose marriage.
00:16Since then, I've been choosing you every single day.
00:19Ah!
00:26I always wanted to kiss my man at the top of the castle.
00:29So let's kiss the top of the castle.
00:30Mm-hmm.
00:33Having been married before, I'm familiar with the challenges
00:36and potential difficulties.
00:38I feel like I'm constantly under evaluation.
00:40Never roll your eyes at me. I find that very disrespectful.
00:43If I didn't want to have kids, I would fucking tell you.
00:48It's like, what I'm saying doesn't matter one flippin' bit.
00:52And it's hurtful. It's just like, why the fuck am I even talking?
00:55Decision Day's a little bit different for us than other couples.
00:59There's way more on the line, given the pregnancy.
01:02I hope that my future looks like she's the last smile I see.
01:06She asked me if I would say yes on Decision Day.
01:08And I said, yeah, with how I'm feeling now, of course.
01:09But I don't know how I'm gonna feel a month from now.
01:11I love you.
01:12I've been committed and I'm going to stay committed.
01:16I just called Brittany and let her know that I was gonna say no.
01:19Get ready for my life.
01:28My mind's been on the inevitable.
01:34Me and my fears are inseparable.
01:37Today's Decision Day, and last night was the first night
01:40that we've actually spent apart this entire time.
01:43So it was a little weird in the middle of the night waking up
01:47or not being there.
01:52After spending the night apart, I had some time to really dive in
01:55on all of the good and all of the hard times
01:58and really just seeing where things stand, where I want to be
02:02and what's best for me.
02:04And I'm feeling confident with my decision today.
02:22All right, so we're almost there.
02:24And hopefully we both say yes today.
02:27I put a lot of thought into it.
02:29And I think that, um...
02:31Jalen and I's marriage over the last eight weeks
02:33has been incredible.
02:35We've definitely had our ups and downs,
02:37but I think we've had far more ups
02:39and our downs have always brought us closer.
02:41So I'm extremely thankful.
02:52Josh, meet for the very first time.
02:54Jalen.
02:55Hi.
02:56Hi.
02:58I'm just in awe.
02:59I'm good. We're good.
03:00She is beautiful.
03:02Holy cow.
03:03I'm gonna fall in love with this woman.
03:04Like, no questions asked.
03:06So before we came, I just needed to pick something up for you.
03:10Oh, my God!
03:12This is crazy.
03:19Hi!
03:21I just want you to know that I love you
03:22and I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable.
03:26We understand that there's some stuff going on with trust issues.
03:29Mm-hmm.
03:31I basically panic responded
03:33and said that I had unfollowed my ex on social media,
03:36um, when I hadn't.
03:37So now I can't tell if he's someone who's just gonna be like,
03:40yeah, whatever you want, and then build resentment.
03:42Like, he loves to go to festivals.
03:44Would he really be okay with never going again?
03:48I feel like because he only pictures Burning Man as this community-type thing,
03:53he doesn't view me in the same way that he views things like that.
03:57You keep cutting me off.
03:58Oh, my God!
03:59All I need right now is for you to say that you know what kind of person I am.
04:04My hobbies are, like, spin and the leg,
04:08and, like, Josh likes to go to big festivals.
04:11What kinds of things do you like to do together?
04:13I don't want to feel like I'm just changing your life
04:17and making you give up things.
04:19When you can go find that with somebody else,
04:21I'm like, that's where I stress out.
04:32I really care about her a lot, and I see a great future for us,
04:35but if Decision Day decides to take a turn the other direction,
04:39then definitely take a part of me with it.
04:44I think my biggest reservations are just, at the end of the day,
04:47we are just still different people,
04:49and we're in two different lanes right now in a lot of ways.
04:52And so I feel like this is a make or break for me.
04:55I think in the past, any time I saw a red flag,
04:58I ended the relationship.
05:00But now I'm married, and it's just like,
05:02I don't know what you work through and what you don't.
05:05But I hope to feel confident and secure in my decision.
05:12Hello!
05:13Oh, hello there. How's it going?
05:14Looking good, man.
05:18Like the suit?
05:19Very sharp, Josh.
05:20Good to see you.
05:21You too.
05:22Good to see you.
05:23Hello?
05:24Nice to see you.
05:25You're looking great.
05:26Yeah.
05:27All right, well.
05:28So you guys haven't seen each other since when?
05:30I saw her yesterday, but we did spin the night apart.
05:32How did you sleep?
05:33Honestly, I mean, I did wake up, like,
05:35a couple of times in the middle of the night,
05:37tossing and turning.
05:39Yeah.
05:40Here she comes.
05:46She's hot, as always.
05:48She's always hot.
05:51Hi!
05:52Hi, dude.
05:53Oh, yeah, you look so good!
05:55Aw.
05:56I love it.
05:57Oh, yay!
05:58Okay, so here we are.
06:00Here we are.
06:01All right.
06:02You guys have gone through some things.
06:04Oh, we're both smiling, so I guess that's a good thing.
06:05I know, you're both smiling.
06:06That's a good thing.
06:07We like it.
06:08We like that.
06:09You guys have gone through some ups and some downs, you know?
06:14I like to think there are more ups than downs.
06:16For sure.
06:17And here you are on decision day.
06:19How are you feeling about the day?
06:22There's definitely been a lot that we've gone through,
06:24but I think how we move forwards past those things
06:29has given me a lot of faith.
06:31So what have been some of the bigger challenges
06:32that you guys have faced in the last eight weeks?
06:34Understanding that, like, Josh and I are very different
06:38in, like, just our lifestyle differences.
06:41Mm-hmm.
06:42Just learning how important that lifestyle is to him
06:44and how much it's far from what I'm interested in
06:47I think has been difficult.
06:49You were talking about the festivals and Burning Man?
06:51Mm-hmm.
06:52I'm hoping that Jalen can move past that
06:55and realize that we will be able to find those communities
06:58and we will be able to harness those same feelings
07:00that I felt, you know, within that.
07:03It's just I still hold those communities very dear to me.
07:06Of course.
07:07And so I don't think that's ever going to change.
07:09Mm-hmm.
07:10Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.
07:11In fact, I mean, we always hold dear the thing
07:14that brought us out of our shell
07:16or the thing that helped us find ourselves.
07:17Mm-hmm.
07:18You know, that's something that's valuable.
07:20Absolutely.
07:21And you should always hold that experience dear.
07:23Yeah.
07:24Yeah, I mean, I feel good knowing that he's also prioritizing us
07:28and, like, finding new things for us
07:30because at first it just didn't feel like that was possible.
07:33Um, so I think I feel really good with, um,
07:37knowing that we have plans for that to be balanced
07:39while we figure out what we want to build together
07:42aside from that lifestyle that he had.
07:45But we haven't had time to stay in action.
07:46Like, that's my worry.
07:48I don't want him to say yes if he's gonna change his mind.
07:52And then he resents me.
07:56Like, um, at the end of the day,
07:59I don't see it being a problem.
08:00You know, I feel like I hold myself
08:02on a higher, you know, level than that,
08:04so I just don't see that being the case.
08:10So, with that in mind,
08:13the time has come for you to decide.
08:16Do you want to stay married
08:19or do you want to get a divorce?
08:26You know, we've definitely had our ups
08:29and we've had our downs,
08:30but I have so much faith in, like,
08:32how we are able to communicate
08:34and move past difficult situations
08:36that I don't for one second think
08:40that we will ever come to a hurdle
08:42that we can't jump over
08:43and become stronger in the other end.
08:45And I couldn't imagine it being with anybody else,
08:50so I would love to stay married to you.
08:54Josh and I are very different in, like, a lot of ways.
09:04But I think our core values
09:06and, like, who we are as people,
09:07I feel is very complimentary.
09:09Like, I just think you are an incredible person,
09:12and I feel very lucky to have met you.
09:15So, I would like to stay married to you
09:18because I'm very excited
09:21for how much stronger we can grow together in this marriage.
09:24Yay!
09:25Yay!
09:26Congratulations!
09:27Did we have a yes there?
09:29Aw!
09:30Yes!
09:31Yes!
09:32I love you, baby.
09:33I love you, too.
09:34I love you, too.
09:35You guys are a beautiful couple.
09:37You've learned how to deal with conflict.
09:40So, I want to encourage you to keep up what you're doing.
09:43And continue to be vulnerable
09:44and remind yourselves of the commitment
09:46that you're making to each other
09:47and give each other grace.
09:48I'm really, really thankful for everything.
09:50Thank you guys so much!
09:52Congratulations!
09:54My man.
09:55Good for you.
09:56I love so much about Josh,
09:58but I know I definitely can say
10:00that I love who Josh is,
10:02and I feel really excited
10:03that he's chosen to stay with me.
10:06You want me to say it again?
10:07Yeah, sure.
10:08Say it again.
10:09I want to stay married with you.
10:12Thank you all.
10:13Thanks, y'all.
10:14You guys, take care.
10:15Bye-bye.
10:16I hate you.
10:17Oh, God!
10:20Aw!
10:21Come on!
10:26That's what I'm talking about.
10:40Heading into decision day,
10:42I'm feeling conflicted.
10:44Despite the disconnects
10:47and the challenges that Rhonda and I have had,
10:50we did make a deep connection,
10:52and I feel in my heart
10:54that, you know,
10:55I have established deep love for Rhonda.
10:59I really honestly do not know what I'm going to do.
11:04to the start.
11:05All I ever need is in your heart.
11:13No matter what happens today,
11:15I hope that Pat knows.
11:17I have really sincerely appreciated him
11:21and his commitment to this marriage.
11:24It's been hard, but also,
11:27it's been everything I think I could have ever hoped for.
11:33Clock strikes upon the hour
11:36and the sun begins to fade.
11:41Getting into this experience,
11:43one of the things I was looking for
11:44is I wanted somebody who adored me
11:46and was excited to see me.
11:48I was looking for a deep connection.
11:54Oh!
11:55I gotta dance.
11:56This is it.
11:57Hoping that that deep connection
11:59would spawn a spark.
12:02Oh, I wanna dance with somebody.
12:06I love you.
12:07I love you, too.
12:08Isn't it nice to have a strong man?
12:11There is absolutely chemistry with my husband.
12:14Oh, my God.
12:15We're gonna have so much fun together.
12:16I have a husband.
12:17I wanna feel the heat with somebody.
12:21Yeah!
12:22I wanna dance with somebody.
12:24You're just the most amazing woman I have ever met.
12:27I don't know how to say it,
12:28but I do not feel in our conversations
12:32like you have any interest in my life.
12:34Ooh, I hope that I do.
12:37How I feel is I feel like he doesn't care.
12:41That's just not true.
12:42Why do you feel like you can't be yourself around me?
12:45I felt a lot of anxiety.
12:47I felt a lot of emotions in this experience,
12:50and those are not myself.
12:53We don't have a lot of years left.
12:56We're more than halfway through our lives,
12:58and I wanna make every day count.
13:00Yeah.
13:03All right.
13:04That looks beautiful.
13:05Our first pie together.
13:08Dance party!
13:13Come on, baby, go!
13:14Chad, I love you.
13:23I want this to be the ultimate love story.
13:25But I need to listen to my heart.
13:27It's not over.
13:28For the first time I can see you clearly.
13:35Hello.
13:36There she is.
13:37Hi!
13:38Hi!
13:39How are you guys?
13:40Oh, look, you're all matching, matching,
13:41and you're pink.
13:42You're so beautiful!
13:43Oh, my goodness.
13:44Hey!
13:45Oh, that's so good to see you guys.
13:46I just love these earrings.
13:47Come on.
13:48Oh, my God.
13:49You're kidding.
13:50Oh, that's beautiful.
13:51It's beautiful.
13:52Thank you, sweetheart.
13:53Good to see you guys again.
13:54Likewise.
13:55Likewise.
13:56Howdy, howdy.
13:57How you doing, buddy?
13:58It's good to see you, man.
13:59Oh, oh.
14:00Pat, how are you?
14:02Nice to see you.
14:04Have a seat.
14:05Don't you look dapper?
14:06Oh.
14:07Red scarf and all.
14:08Yeah.
14:09I love your dress.
14:10Thanks.
14:11Let's start with you, Rhonda.
14:13How are you feeling today?
14:15Um, for me, I'm feeling very at peace.
14:19It's crazy to think it's only been eight weeks because we have been through a lot of
14:24Let's talk about that and how you feel.
14:25You know, I want us both to be happy for sure.
14:27But I think what's most important is for each of us to do what's in our heart and what
14:38we think we need to do.
14:42And I think what's most important is for each of us to do what's in our heart and what
14:49we think we need to do.
14:52And I can tell Pat's in a totally different place because he has both his hands wrapped
14:58on his lap and his legs crossed and he's leaning back.
15:02What does that communicate to you?
15:04That he's made his decision and it's not to hold my hand moving forward.
15:13Is she right in that perception?
15:22Yes.
15:23I have to listen to my heart.
15:35And I've stood on this precipice before.
15:39In my first marriage, I felt swept along by what was happening.
15:44There were red flags going off.
15:46I ignored them.
15:47And that set me on a much longer path.
15:50And I have a history of standing at these places and not considering myself.
15:59I do not trust that I will be seen and heard as my authentic self.
16:04Can I ask a question?
16:05In the past, you said that you couldn't be your authentic self.
16:10So how can I see you when you can't, when you're not that person?
16:15I'll give you an example.
16:16The one consistent thing I've heard from you for eight weeks is that I don't care about
16:22you.
16:23I've heard that over and over and over again.
16:25And yet I am being my authentic self through all of that.
16:29Trying to meet you, do everything I can to support you and be there for you and do the
16:35things that I think a good husband should do.
16:38Those are all part of my authentic self.
16:41And I just don't see seen.
16:43Rhonda, let's talk about where you are right now and how you're feeling.
16:50We're talking a lot about Pat and his emotional and how hard this has been on him and my emotional
16:57needs that haven't been met.
16:58The reason he hears it over and over because they aren't, haven't been addressed.
17:02If someone feels unhurt, small things even, but important.
17:07Let's say there's lots of those small things that she felt were unheard of,
17:11unconsidered or maybe even big things if she's feeling down and she says something and you
17:16think you've answered it and you're off to something else.
17:18Those things got solved.
17:20The you don't care thing might stop being said.
17:23Correct.
17:24Yes.
17:25That's probably the truth.
17:27Yeah.
17:28I think sometimes with all the couples that I've talked to, I try to encourage them most
17:33often to, can we focus on the good that's in the relationship?
17:37Because whatever you focus on most is what you're going to experience most.
17:42Yes.
17:43Okay.
17:44I'm thankful and appreciate the fact you felt like you could be vulnerable and open in front
17:50of me.
17:51I appreciate you making me coffee in the morning and I enjoy listening to music and dancing with
17:59you.
18:00You know, I feel drawn to you, other people feel drawn to you.
18:05You're a very giving person and that I think is very impressive.
18:10And how you just, you know, you create fun.
18:15I just think I've been really, really frustrated with you and my frustration pushes you away.
18:24And that's not my intention.
18:26I am struggling on how to deal with it.
18:29So I would apologize for making you feel like I'm pushing you away.
18:35How do you both feel in hearing this from each other?
18:40I'm feeling some tenderness from Rhonda that, that I like, that is, I appreciate.
18:52What I'm hearing today is helping rebuild that trust.
19:00I came in here very much of the mind that I was not going to move forward.
19:05And now I'm thinking, you know, I was being too rigid.
19:10Maybe, I don't know.
19:12I'm just, I'm on the fence.
19:14Look at how your all's body language has changed since you first came in.
19:18You're open to her, legs open.
19:20Your shoulders are back.
19:21You are more relaxed.
19:23And now you're kind of changed, kind of like more stiff.
19:27I came in here with a very open heart.
19:30Yeah.
19:31Oh, 100%.
19:32For me right now, the elephant in the room is here is my husband who was on that page 24 hours ago.
19:41And then all of a sudden he is not moving forward.
19:44And now he is on the fence again.
19:47I understand how that would be very destabilizing.
19:51I think if I were to say, let's continue, it would be because I care about you and that I will, I will work on that.
20:02I will work with you.
20:03And so we would, you know, have a chance to stop these cycles and to be able to meet each other, earnestly try with you.
20:13I need to listen to your heart.
20:14What did you say, Amanda?
20:16She said, I need to listen to my heart.
20:19That's why we got into this.
20:22The time has come, okay, for you to make a decision whether you want to stay married or if you want to end it here and get a divorce.
20:41I want to stay married.
20:53I want to continue to work on this.
20:58I want to face my fears with you and develop the ways that we can be nurturing and be loving and be supportive and be there for one another.
21:14I'm going to be perfectly honest.
21:16Like I came in here feeling all of that that you just said and it's, I don't feel as open or hopeful as I did.
21:25Um, that said, I, like, there's not a place in my heart that's ready to say no.
21:34Not yet.
21:37But I'm scared.
21:43I see you.
21:44I see you.
21:47Well, I do.
21:49Rhonda, do you want to stay married or do you want to get a divorce?
21:53I want to stay married.
21:59Congratulations.
22:00I think it's actually more poignant today than it was on our wedding day because on our wedding day we got lucky.
22:14And today we actually looked into each other's eyes and it was a hard, hard conversation.
22:23But also we did choose each other today.
22:27Thank you so much.
22:28Oh, you're so welcome.
22:29Proud of you, ma'am.
22:30Proud of you, ma'am.
22:33I love you.
22:37I love you.
22:39Thank you for choosing me.
22:40Thank you for choosing me.
22:42I love you.
22:43I love you, too.
23:05For us, Decision Day is a little bit different,
23:08given our situation with the pregnancy.
23:11I think that adds, like, a whole other element
23:14to this already pretty crazy situation.
23:17Oh, there's something you can't lose.
23:20There's a lot in every room.
23:22Here to never go out of sight.
23:26So we are almost to the venue for Decision Day.
23:30We just passed not that long ago
23:32the actual venue where Derek and I got married,
23:36and that was, like, a full-circle moment.
23:39Yeah, it's my favorite view.
23:42It's a magic trick we do.
23:45There's a lot on the line here,
23:46and, you know, it's not something that,
23:49yeah, I'm taking lightly,
23:51but I do feel confident in my decision.
23:55We have a lot of things that are gonna hit us,
23:59a lot of new things in the future
24:01that we're gonna have to figure out,
24:03and we need to, like, really work through this.
24:07I'm just thinking back to how much our relationship
24:12has evolved.
24:13You know, we've come a really long way.
24:16Took me by surprise
24:18I didn't expect
24:20Nice to meet you.
24:21Nice to meet you too, Meg.
24:22Whoa.
24:23Nice one.
24:24Cheers.
24:25Cheers.
24:26Cheers.
24:27She has fucking abs.
24:28Oh, my God.
24:29Fucking hot.
24:30What's the thing you like most about Meg?
24:31Really smart.
24:32She's, like, driven.
24:33There's a big list.
24:34Oh, that was so sweet.
24:35You seem pretty angry.
24:36I think it's just...
24:37I mean, yesterday was just kind of unexpected.
24:39I'm getting heated because this is really pissing me off.
24:52Why not just say how you feel?
24:54I'll tell you, because you get like this.
24:56Honestly.
24:57Fuck this shit.
24:58I'm so dumb.
25:00What can I do to make it more safe?
25:04Being vulnerable.
25:06Venerable I
25:08Really care a lot about you. I hope you know that I'll do more things to make you realize that you got somebody here who you can rely on
25:22He took these two these two tests and
25:27Came back completely positive this changes pretty much everything
25:36Oh
25:40Yes, she isn't that red dress you walk into it
25:48Better oh you like this always oh my gosh
25:56How are y'all good good and the shoes
26:06Well, why don't we get your other half in here?
26:19Oh, yeah, it's really nice Wow
26:23Did you guys plan this with the red he knew I was wearing red I
26:29Know you guys have had a
26:31It's been a great ride, but it's been a rocky ride at times
26:36Yeah, so right from the very beginning we were having some challenges where
26:41Megan would would get a little defensive when I would bring things up from there our next bump was
26:49Just misaligned expectations on roles and duties in the house what we learned from that was like on my side I need to
26:56present things more tactfully and
27:00On her side she needs to work on not getting so defensive and so escalated
27:04Mm-hmm. I think I need to like breathe
27:07Think about it for a little bit and then come with a softer approach. I mean there's definitely been hard times
27:13Let's talk about children. I know you guys have had those conversations, right?
27:19Yeah, so no one really knows but
27:23I'm pregnant
27:26Really really really
27:33We were not trying
27:35I
27:37Oh my god
27:39Are you serious?
27:41My man
27:43Oh my god
27:45Congratulations, dude
27:47Thank you
27:49Oh my god
27:51Oh wow
27:53This is a first
27:55This is a matter of first sight first
27:57Oh my goodness
27:59Well, I don't know what to say
28:01Well, we're all kind of speechless here
28:03Yeah
28:05Well, I think the time is now here for you to decide
28:08Do you want to stay married or get a divorce?
28:11You are just extremely caring and compassionate
28:15And without any hesitation 100% I want to stay married to you
28:23I love you and I love your sense of humor
28:27I love your pretty smile and your big blue eyes
28:32And I am really excited to start a family with you
28:38I think you will make an amazing mom
28:40And I'm just really excited for our future
28:48You make me a better person
28:50I know that you love Zoe as much as you love me
28:53Mm-hmm
28:54And I am so excited to raise a child with you
28:59So I am choosing to stay married to you
29:03Because I can't imagine being away from you
29:07And I love you
29:09I'm all in, I'm all in
29:14I mean, we want to say thank you
29:16Because, you know, y'all made this match
29:19So...
29:20Oh, yeah
29:21God
29:22Invite us to the baby shower
29:23Yeah
29:24Yeah, how about that?
29:25That's right
29:26100%
29:27Congratulations again
29:28Congratulations for everything
29:29We're very excited about walking out of here
29:31The three of us
29:32There are still a lot of things that we need to do
29:34To plan and everything
29:35So if it's going to be nice
29:36You can focus on the future
29:38Well, guys, you guys go and do what married people do
29:40Okay, okay
29:41All right
29:42Thank you so much
29:43Pleasure
29:44You know, I got into this with hope that I would end up with a wife
29:49And someone I could start a family with
29:51And that's exactly what I got and more
29:53It's like a dream come true
29:57Oh, wow
29:59Wow
30:08It is the morning of decision day
30:23And those are Lovey's legs sticking up in the corner
30:26I was just having a heart-to-heart conversation with him
30:31Asking him what he thinks about decision day
30:36And moving forward
30:43Still a bit off balance from the past couple days
30:46We've been through a lot of tough decisions already
30:48None of us want her to be hurt
30:50None of us want me to be hurt
30:51None of us want me to be hurt
30:52And it's a big decision
30:53But, you know
30:55We've committed
30:56I'd say wholeheartedly
30:58To trying to make it work
31:00And I hate that
31:02Trying to make it work
31:03It's not like bullshit
31:04But it's really
31:05In a short period of time
31:06That's what you're trying to do
31:07This last couple months has been
31:19A pretty exciting journey
31:24Got a new ring
31:25Got a new ring
31:26I love you a lot
31:29I love you
31:30I love you too
31:31Oh, shucks
31:33Oh, right in the middle
31:37Aw, these are pretty
31:38There you are
31:39Thank you
31:40Chad is kind
31:41Funny
31:42And sweet
31:43But
31:44It's been a little exhausting at times too
31:46We're trying to talk
31:48And we're trying to share
31:50And
31:51Just let us talk and share
31:54I apologize
31:56I love you
31:57And I'm so glad I met you
31:59But I don't give a fuck about this show
32:01At this stage of the game
32:04I'm more of a regimented person
32:06And
32:07I'm accustomed to being
32:09In charge
32:10I'm done
32:11I am done
32:12I'm just done
32:14I can be
32:16A bit of a challenge
32:18I mean
32:19You want to have a conversation
32:20But you don't want me to participate
32:22In the conversation
32:23I'm trying to tell you
32:24What I think
32:25And you're arguing all the points
32:26Why is it that
32:27You're telling me what you think
32:29And I'm arguing
32:30And I'm arguing
32:31Versus I'm telling you what I think
32:32And you're telling me what you think
32:33I mean I'll do something
32:34We're getting nowhere with this
32:35Okay then I'm done
32:36Okay
32:37It's fine
32:38That's fine
32:39I was thinking
32:40Decision day was a yes
32:41And right now I'm thinking
32:43Decision day is
32:44Not a yes
32:45Not a yes
32:55I do want to be with her
32:56And I hope she understands how much I appreciate her
32:59I can't imagine my life without Belinda
33:02I hope that she knows that I will do everything I can to protect her
33:07And I hope that we can work this out
33:10If I don't continue in the marriage I'm definitely going to be missing that partner
33:15I want to live a life with a companion
33:17I want to have somebody that I can talk to at night
33:19I want to have someone I can go hang out with and do all the fun things with
33:24The travel with
33:25I feel like I'm definitely someone who has a lot of love to give
33:28And I just don't want to have to be alone anymore
33:33But I just don't want to lose my voice
33:36You know I can't lose myself in a marriage
33:38And I feel like I need to remember that I'm also there
33:43And that I also matter
33:45Hello
33:46Hi
33:47You look beautiful
33:49Awesome
33:50Okay
33:53Here's your man
33:54Hi
33:55Wow you look stunning
33:57You look stunning
33:58You do
33:59Aww
34:00Come on baby
34:01Aww
34:05Thank you
34:06It's Sammy Carter's wedding day
34:07Aww
34:08Aww
34:09What a thoughtful guy
34:10Aww
34:11Yes I'm thinking
34:12You see you're doing this right
34:14Tell us a little bit about
34:15What have been some of the most enjoyable times you two have had together
34:19Um
34:22The night we danced
34:24We danced in our apartment
34:26And just sat and listened to music all night
34:29I think it's a culmination of lots of things
34:32Hmm
34:33It's the smile
34:34It's
34:35She'll start telling me a story
34:36And start giggling
34:37As she's telling me the story
34:39And you can see she's just genuinely happy
34:42Hmm
34:43And that's cool
34:44Mm-hmm
34:45What are you proudest about
34:47In terms of your own personal growth in this period
34:50I came into this
34:51With an open mind
34:52And open heart
34:53And I feel like I stayed true to that
34:56I wanted to be patient enough to make things work
35:00Yeah
35:01Um
35:02Yeah I'm proud of that
35:04But yeah I'm proud of that
35:07I think
35:08I'm proudest about the fact that this is so anti-Chad that I actually tried it
35:13And I'm proud that although I did have a incident on occasion
35:21I personally believe that I did very well for this long
35:26Right
35:27Yeah
35:28But I realized how bad I hurt her
35:30Hmm
35:31It was tough to deal with
35:32What did you realize?
35:34Just how little control I have over what I thought I had control of
35:39Hmm
35:40And I need to find healthier ways to try to burn off some steam
35:43And when I can get back into a gym
35:44Yeah
35:45And I can be near my gym
35:46And I can go do things
35:47Yeah
35:48To let go of some stress
35:49There's still gonna be rubs
35:52Because we are very different people
35:53And we came from very different places
35:55And we've experienced very different things
35:57But I genuinely care about you
36:00And I believe you care about me
36:03And I don't think there's anything we can't figure out
36:07As long as that's the overbearing feeling
36:10Yeah
36:11Well, you know, when we give the marriage vows
36:15We talk about the tough times as well as the good times
36:18Hmm
36:19And that's what marriage offers
36:21Is an embrace to be there for both
36:23And to make each other better
36:25Through sticking around to fix things and grow
36:29So with that in mind
36:33The time has come for you to decide
36:36Do you want to stay married?
36:38Or do you want to get a divorce?
36:40I am willing to do whatever it takes to make this connection work
36:47To me right now, there's nothing that makes me want to walk away
36:50And there's everything that makes me want to stay
36:53Just trying to believe in something that you're in
36:57I love you
37:04I thank the world of you
37:07I can't wait to see the rest of the world with him
37:13Will you stay married to me?
37:18Um
37:29Will you stay married to me?
37:30Um
37:35I mean, I think
37:37If anything, if I had a reason to walk away
37:41It would just be because we weren't working on it
37:43The way we committed and said we were going to
37:48Um
37:49But
37:51I know that if we're working on it
37:53We can get through it
37:54So
37:55Yes
37:56I will stay married to you
37:58Love you too
38:01Love you too
38:04Y'all got me tearing up
38:05Yeah
38:09Yeah
38:10I want to make it work
38:11And
38:12Maybe you're willing to look inside yourself
38:14And
38:15And have these conversations with me
38:17And
38:18Do all the things
38:20All the things
38:21Then
38:22Let's do them
38:23Let's do all the things together
38:24Perfect
38:25Come on now
38:26I love that
38:27I love that
38:28Well
38:29Congratulations are in order
38:30Congratulations
38:31Let's talk it out
38:32There's lots of things to talk about
38:34And think about still
38:35It's been a pleasure
38:36Congratulations
38:37Thank you
38:38You're so deserving
38:39Thank you so much
38:40But hearing Chad say he's still all in
38:42Makes me feel good
38:43And I believe that both of us are
38:45In a place where we don't want to hurt each other
38:48We just want to care about each other
38:49We just want to care about each other
38:50And make things work
38:51And as long as we want that
38:52I think it'll
38:53It'll be good
38:54We keep on playing in my mind
38:55So tell me if I'm just wasting all my time
39:01When I first woke up I was hopeful about today
39:21And knew exactly where we both stood
39:24There had been no indication that it would be anything other than a definitive yes
39:29And then he called me this morning to tell me that his answer was no
39:34And I felt my heart sink
39:38I wanted to just not even show up
39:42But I thought that he should hear me out and I should at least hear him out
39:45Because we are married and I take marriage very seriously
39:48That's the part of me that makes me want to fight
39:50But I'm not in a good spot right now
39:54Right now
40:04Hey there
40:05Hey
40:06Hey
40:07How you doing man?
40:08I'm doing all right
40:09All right, hi Will
40:13Stay down
40:14Good to see you
40:15So how are you feeling?
40:21I think that I just had some more thoughts and I'm kind of all over the place because I'm saying no and I told Brittany that
40:30Oh wow
40:31What happened?
40:32I think that throughout this her not thinking I'm trying her not thinking that I'm doing anything her not feeling anything from what I'm doing
40:41That was the theme
40:43She asked me what love meant to me and I said how those commitments everyday how I want to be the reason why she's happy how she makes me happy and I want to grow together
40:52And then she said well no love is passion for me it seems like it's not passion you don't love me
40:56So she tries to compare things to how she feels them and if it's not how she feels then it doesn't matter and it's not validated
41:04And I understand that she may say things in the heat of the moment things like well maybe I'm just not the one for you
41:09She said that to you?
41:11Yeah
41:12And that hurts a lot
41:14Because I don't know if I can live life not being enough for my partner
41:18It's almost as though she wants you to fight for her
41:21Absolutely
41:22And for you and I'm gonna give you credit just admitting that things hurt you know that's something I heard from you before
41:27Yeah
41:28But let's have the conversation fair enough
41:30Yeah
41:31Okay
41:32All right here she comes
41:36Hi
41:37Hi
41:38How are you?
41:40I'm doing okay how are you?
41:42Hi gorgeous
41:43How pretty
41:44Good
41:45Come on sit down
41:47Uh
41:51How are you feeling?
41:52Um
41:53Well it's shocking I'm like completely shocked
42:02It's not what I was expecting or not what I was hoping
42:06I mean
42:07I was really excited to come here and I was excited to see you and talk to you and for us to you know continue being married to one another
42:19Um
42:20If I haven't been able to express like how important you are to me and how much you mean to me
42:28I'm sorry
42:29Um
42:30I think you're an amazing
42:32I think you're an amazing person
42:35And
42:37And
42:38You just
42:39You just
42:40You bring me so much joy
42:42Like every time I'm around you
42:44Um
42:45This shit sucks
42:48Every time I'm around you like I just get excited and happy
42:54And over these past like eight weeks to know you and like to really get to know you
43:00And understand you has been just such a blessing
43:03Because I think you are the most kind, generous, thoughtful person that I've ever met
43:10And you're you and that's what I love about you like you are uniquely you
43:16And I could see the way that you love me and the way that you care about me
43:21And I've never felt those things before and so I do appreciate it
43:26I can't do this
43:35I'm just so sorry and I'm
43:47I
43:48If I haven't made you feel that way like if
43:51If I haven't made you feel like
43:54You're important to me and like your feelings are important to me because you are
44:01You
44:03Just
44:04Just as stupid
44:05I'm done
44:09I'm thankful that I was able to
44:12Make you feel those things
44:14In those ways
44:15I didn't know
44:16Well in the beginning I was just trying to get to know you and so
44:21I was asking you to
44:24I don't know I guess like kind of make it easier like
44:28Be more expressive and like open yourself up and
44:31When I didn't get that in the beginning I just I didn't know how to react to it
44:36And then over time I started noticing that like you're opening up and like you're showing me your heart
44:42And I think that's what makes me sad is because I didn't express that to you that that's what I was noticing and I was so grateful for
44:49And I made you feel that like
44:52It didn't matter but that's not true I noticed all of those things
44:59And I think it was just scared I was scared of this moment right here I was scared that like
45:08We'd get to this place where you just said you didn't want to be with me anymore
45:14I mean that was a lot of things I haven't heard before and I know I haven't made everything the easiest
45:29I know that I may not be the most easy person to understand
45:35We both have things that we need to work on
45:40Yeah
45:41But I was just asking for time
45:47I mean clearly we care about each other like otherwise this wouldn't be happening
45:50And the fact that you're crying right now like that does something to me
45:54Trying to process things because I know that I can't undo the call this morning you know and I knew that going into it
46:09But there is still processing for that I mean this is definitely all over the place
46:17What do you want to do?
46:19I mean I just need more time
46:49A lot of feelings and emotions today
46:54I think that I did get validation of my feelings and emotions
47:01Understanding that I am here and I'm trying
47:03So I appreciated that
47:04She said she's trying to get better on those things but they've been happening for two months
47:09And I know that's not something that you can change immediately anyway
47:14And at the end of the day it's my decision it's my choice about my life and what I want to do
47:23So I'm making a decision today based on that
47:27Hey Will
47:28Welcome back
47:33Hi
47:35You had some time to clear your head
47:37Yeah a little
47:38Yeah
47:39Yeah
47:40Yeah
47:41The time has now come for you to both decide if you wish to stay married or to get a divorce
47:48Um
47:54It's not a hard decision for me
47:56I of course want to stay married to you
47:58I want to build a life with you and I see a future with you
48:02And I want to put in the work
48:06For myself individually and for us as a couple
48:11And
48:13I just want to continue to be married to you and
48:20Be happy with you
48:27Will
48:28Will
48:33I
48:34Are
48:43I adore you and I enjoy
48:47So much with you and exploring and learning with you
48:50And projecting our future and the things we want to do
48:52I think that we do have a lot of growing to do with one another and learning
48:57And so
49:04Yes
49:08I do want to be with you and I do want to continue this
49:11And I want to learn with you
49:13I want that
49:15It's a shot
49:16So I'm saying yes to us trying to work harder on us because we haven't been in the real world
49:28Awesome
49:30Thank you
49:32I believe that some of the greatest marriages that I've seen have also gone through some of the greatest challenges
49:37And so I think that you guys going through this, you know, take this as a lesson, you know, you're learning how to be married, you know, and it's not all butterflies and rainbows, you know, it's it can be hard work, but the reward is incredible
49:53Will saying yes in that moment was different than how I thought that would go
49:58You look good
49:59Thank you
50:00You too
50:01There you go
50:02There you go
50:03I feel like he's my person
50:05And I feel like I'm your person
50:07And I know I've said that before
50:09You said the other way before
50:11Right, and I've said both ways before
50:14That was probably the most emotional
50:17Experience of my life
50:20Marriage has been a beautiful, terrifying experience
50:25It's been a lot of confusion
50:27It's been a lot of sad moments
50:29But it's all worth it because I have Will
50:33I set out to do this to find my person and I believe that Will is
50:38Can I have a kiss?
50:39Yeah
50:44This is five for five
50:46All right
50:47Definitely not the journey that I thought we'd take
50:50But it's our journey
50:51And I do see myself being married to him forever
50:53I see us going through all of the different stages of life
50:56And I think we'll make a beautiful life together
50:59I love you
51:00I love you too
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