- 2 days ago
Millionaire Houston Dodsworth is up from Texas to see Gillis and offer him $5000 for the piece of land they share. Riley botches the deal
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00:00William Bandit in The Life of Riley with Marjorie Reynolds as Peg, Tom DeAndre as Gillis, Wes Morgan as Junior, and Gloria Blondell as Honeybee.
00:15Produced by Tom McKnight.
00:23Oh, Riley, are you still upset because Junior didn't ask you to sponsor their club?
00:28Well, it's not that, Peg. It's just that, well, bragging about another person is a very bad habit, and I think Junior ought to...
00:37I'll get it.
00:41Well, howdy, partner. I'm Houston Dotsworth from down Texas way. You mind if I talk with you, sir?
00:46Oh, you don't mind as well. Why don't you come in?
00:50I'm Chester Ray Rattie.
00:52Howdy.
00:52And this is my wife, Mrs. Rattie.
00:54Well, it's my pleasure, ma'am.
00:55How do you do? I want you to sit down.
00:57Well, thank you, ma'am.
00:58Yes, sir. As soon as I found out my old friend was down and out, I got right out here.
01:03Ah, thank you, partner.
01:03I met him when they come down to Texas.
01:06He was throwing his money around like it was a two-pound calf on the end of a rope.
01:10Yeah, I'll say.
01:12If I got a hold of a bundle like that, I'd know how to hang on to it.
01:14You're a smart man, Mr. Rattie, but that Gillis.
01:20Gillis?
01:21Yeah, Gillis. That's the one I'm talking about. I went upstairs, but there was nobody home.
01:25Reckon they found an extra two-bit someplace and went on out and blew it in.
01:30Well, look, Mr. Gillis happens to be a friend of mine.
01:33I figured you knew him, so that's why I came by here.
01:37Ah, poor Gillis.
01:39All that money and now this.
01:42What a shame.
01:44Well, you see, if Gillis had a brain in his head, when he got a hold of that dove, he would have...
01:51Wait a minute.
01:53What's wrong with this place?
01:55Well, no offense, Mr. Riley. It's all right.
01:57Well, yes, sir. It's perfectly all right.
02:01I was just thinking about Gillis and how he went through every last cent he had.
02:05Well, you see, Gillis...
02:06Well, excuse me. I'm going to finish my glass.
02:10Well, anybody that stupid must...
02:12Must be pretty smart to be a millionaire.
02:16How's that again, partner?
02:17My friend Gillis happens to be just as rich today as he ever was.
02:22You mean Gillis still has some of that money left?
02:24You don't buy yachts with green stamps.
02:27Well, what do you know? And all the time I've...
02:29The only reason Gillis lives in this dump, uh, house, is because he likes to be near his millionaire friend.
02:35You mean, you...
02:37Mr. Riley, why do you live here?
02:40Because I like to be near my millionaire friend.
02:44Well, I reckon I had Gillis all wrong.
02:47Well, I didn't think he even owned a bicycle.
02:49Huh. With all those polo ponies, he doesn't need a bicycle for transportation.
02:53A polo? Now you're talking my language.
02:55Why...
02:56I wonder when he took up polo.
02:59Gillis and I happened to be classmates when we were attending polo school together.
03:04I reckon there's no need for me to wait around for Gillis now.
03:08I'll tell his butler you called him.
03:10Any message?
03:11No, I did have an I.D., but, well, as long as Gillis has no financial difficulty, I don't reckon he'd be interested.
03:20Well, what did you have in mind, Mr. Doddsworth?
03:22Gillis is not interested.
03:24A couple of years ago, the Gillises and me, we went partners on a little land deal.
03:27I bought 50 acres and Gillis bought it too.
03:29Peanuts? He probably forgotten he owns it.
03:31Yeah, most likely.
03:32Go on, Mr. Doddsworth.
03:33Well, it's nothing really, Mrs. Riley.
03:35I just...
03:36When I heard that Gillis was busted, I thought I'd give him $5,000 for his land just to help him out.
03:42But to us millionaires, that'd be an insult.
03:45Well, it's mighty nice knowing you people.
03:48Mr. Doddsworth, look, wait, we can...
03:52Peggy's going. What am I going to do?
03:56Hop on your polo pony and go after him.
03:59Yeah.
04:01Oh, Mr. Doddsworth!
04:02Miss...
04:04You sure he's gone, Timsy?
04:07Come on out. He's gone.
04:10Wow, he drove away in the car that long.
04:13What white walls?
04:13I wonder what he was doing down at the Rileys for so long.
04:18I don't know, but I still think we did the smart thing hiding out on him.
04:21Yeah.
04:23He showed us a good time when we were down in Texas, though.
04:26Yeah, but I'm in no position to spend that kind of money on him.
04:31Jimsy, what if he comes back?
04:33He won't come back.
04:34After Riley got through telling him how flat busted we are, we'll never see him again.
04:38That Riley is a pal.
04:40There is a doll downstairs.
04:44We can't tell Gillis. He'd murder me.
04:47Well, I'm not going to say anything.
04:49But if you have any kind of a conscience...
04:51Okay, I'll tell him.
04:52I thought you would, dear.
04:54But not right away.
04:56Oh?
04:57No, I'll wait a couple of years and give him a chance to come back.
05:01We really went through that money in a hurry.
05:06Now, look, don't start crying over spilt milk.
05:08But remember, the next time you get your hands on a few bucks, hang on to it.
05:12Me?
05:13Me?
05:14Now, look, Angel.
05:16If you hadn't have thought you were Diamond Jim Brady, we might still have that money.
05:20Oh, wait a minute.
05:20Hold it.
05:22We're going downstairs and see Riley and see what happens.
05:25Yeah, but we might still have the money if you hadn't...
05:27I want to know what Riley's doing.
05:28Yeah, but we still have the money.
05:29Go ahead.
05:30He's a buddy, but no money.
05:34Peg, there's only one way out of this.
05:37We mustn't let the Gillises know that Mr. Doddsworth was here.
05:40Just leave me out.
05:41But, Peg...
05:41I wonder who that can be.
05:45Oh, the Gillises!
05:47Hi, Riley.
05:47Hello, Riley.
05:51What's new, Riley?
05:52Huh?
05:52What's new?
05:53Oh, what...
05:55Peg is sewing a new blouse.
05:58You don't see?
05:59Yeah, that's how we've been spending the evening, making a new blouse.
06:02We...
06:03Riley?
06:04We know he was here.
06:06Who?
06:07The guy from Texas, Houston Doddsworth.
06:10Oh, him!
06:13Now, he's stopped by.
06:15Oh, Peg, it is darling.
06:17Well, let me show you the skirt that goes with it.
06:19You know, they were having a sale at Henley's.
06:20I just couldn't resist it.
06:22Hey, Ralph.
06:23Hmm?
06:23What did he say when you told him I was flat broke?
06:26Who?
06:27The Texan.
06:27Oh, him.
06:28Yeah.
06:30Well, I...
06:30I didn't exactly tell him that you were flat broke.
06:34You didn't?
06:35No, I...
06:36As a matter of fact,
06:38I told him that you were a millionaire.
06:40No, he didn't.
06:42You told him that?
06:43You mean you're not sore?
06:45No, I'll probably never see the guy again.
06:47I hope not.
06:48Huh?
06:48Nothing.
06:49You see...
06:50Hey, honey, Pete, get a load of this.
06:52Riley told Doddsworth that I was a millionaire.
06:55Yeah.
06:57Well, pardon me for not laughing with you, Diamond Jim.
07:00Oh, she still sore at me for letting that money run through my fingers.
07:03I should say I am.
07:05Peg, we were practically broke when Money Mad here buys a piece of Texas for $200.
07:12He was going to double his money in six months.
07:15Gillis, I've got news for you.
07:17You have?
07:18You know that land that you only paid 200 bucks for?
07:22Ma.
07:23Wait a minute.
07:25Doddsworth don't set property with us.
07:27Maybe he struck oil.
07:28Oh, feather your props, Jim Z.
07:30Huh?
07:31My cousin Flora was there last week, and she wrote that those crummy two acres we bought
07:36aren't worth a penny apiece.
07:38Is that so?
07:39Well, I happen to know that those two crummy acres are worth $5,000.
07:46Hey, Riley, quit clowning.
07:48How would you know what their property's worth?
07:50Well, you see, he won't get sore.
07:54No, I won't get sore.
07:55You really won't get sore?
07:57I won't get sore.
07:58Okay, then I'll tell you.
08:00Well, go ahead.
08:01I got no idea where Mr. Doddsworth is staying, and I don't know how you can get in touch
08:06with him.
08:06Well, what's that got to do with what you're going to tell me?
08:10You won't get sore.
08:11I won't get sore at you, buddy.
08:13You promised me.
08:14I like you.
08:14I won't get sore at you.
08:16Okay.
08:17He stopped by here to offer you $5,000 for those two crummy acres.
08:23$5,000?
08:25And you let him get away?
08:26Why didn't you send him upstairs to me?
08:29Riley, I've met clowning.
08:30He was my wife.
08:31You saw it.
08:32You saw it.
08:33I'd like to kill you.
08:34I'll kill you.
08:35You saw it.
08:36Now, I don't know why I told him.
08:37Oh!
08:44Gillis.
08:45Yeah?
08:47Suppose I came right out and apologized to you.
08:50Try it.
08:51Okay.
08:52Gillis, what happened was all my fault, and I apologize.
08:58You better think of something else, Riley.
09:00That's no good.
09:01No.
09:03See?
09:04That's what he does.
09:04I'll get it.
09:09A7, Riley speaking.
09:11Riley, this is Honeybee.
09:12May I speak to Jimsy, please?
09:14Well, he's not here right now, Honeybee, but he should be back pretty quick.
09:17Oh, Riley, this is urgent.
09:18As soon as he comes in, tell him to call Ludlow 8-1599 and ask to speak to Mr. Doddsworth.
09:25Mr. Doddsworth?
09:27You mean the fellow from Texas?
09:29Is it about buying the property?
09:31Well, I'm not sure, but it's real important.
09:33Mr. Doddsworth will only be at this number for another half hour, so as soon as he comes in, have him call.
09:39Okay, I'll tell him, Honeybee.
09:41Otto, this is a break.
09:43Honeybee heard from the Texans.
09:45Now, all I gotta do is find Gillis.
09:50Oh, Hawkins, did you see Gillis here?
09:52I sent him out to the Santa Monica plant.
09:53Oh, no.
09:54How long is he gonna be going?
09:55Oh, most of the afternoon, I suppose.
09:57Otto, will you check this part out for me?
10:01Pleasant 9-1099, please.
10:06Busy.
10:07Ryle, how have we got it?
10:09What's the matter?
10:10I'm trying to get in touch with Honeybee.
10:14Would you try Pleasant 9-1099 again, please?
10:17I gotta tell Honeybee that Gillis is gone so she can call Mr. Doddsworth.
10:22Still busy.
10:23Why don't you call later, Ryle?
10:24Well, later.
10:25Are you kidding?
10:25That Honeybee's liable to be on the phone all afternoon.
10:28She's the gabbiest dame in the neighborhood.
10:30She is?
10:30That's no lie.
10:31That Honeybee could stay on that phone for three hours.
10:34Well, who did she talk to?
10:35My wife.
10:37Would you try Pleasant 9-1099 again, please?
10:43Is there anything gabbier than a couple of women?
10:46Yeah.
10:47A couple of guys.
10:48Now, get to work.
10:48Yes, sir.
10:54Otto, I gotta make one more phone call.
10:57Well, Ryle Hawkins...
10:58I'm gonna call Doddsworth myself.
11:05A little 08-1599.
11:08I'll solve the deal with Doddsworth and then me and Gillis will be pals again.
11:12Ooh, that's nice.
11:14Hello.
11:15I'd like to speak to Mr. Houston Doddsworth.
11:19The Deepdale Country Club.
11:22That's nice.
11:25Hello, Mr. Doddsworth.
11:27This is Mr. Ryle.
11:28I'm calling for Gillis.
11:31That Gillis is a mighty busy man.
11:33Well, with all them holdings, that's understandable.
11:35No, Mr. Doddsworth.
11:36That's not it at all.
11:37You see, when I told you that, I...
11:39What?
11:40What I wanted to talk to Gillis about was this.
11:43I got a little favor I want to ask him.
11:45But what I really wanted to tell you, Mr. Doddsworth, was that Gillis is interested in selling that land to his.
11:51Good, good.
11:52I'm sure we can work out something equitable, especially if he does this little favor for me.
11:56Now, what I had in mind was this.
11:58Oh, hello, Faye.
11:59Hello, dear.
11:59Oh, hi, Ryle.
12:00That must be my guy.
12:02I told him I'd better get upstairs.
12:03Oh, no, no.
12:03Gillis didn't come home with me.
12:05Oh, well, then maybe he went to talk to Mr. Doddsworth in person.
12:08No, no, he spent the whole afternoon at the Santa Monica plant.
12:11You mean he didn't talk to him at all?
12:13No, but I did.
12:17Oh, no.
12:19Well, what are you groaning about?
12:21I spoke to Doddsworth about him buying Gillis' property, and it's practically all set.
12:26Really?
12:26Mm-hmm.
12:28Here comes Jimsy up the walk now.
12:32Jimsy, come on in here a minute.
12:37Now what?
12:37Well, Riley's got some good news for you.
12:40What's he gonna do?
12:41Transfer to Saudi Arabia?
12:43Well, that's a fine way to talk after what I...
12:46Never mind, dear.
12:47Tell him.
12:48Well, I spoke to Doddsworth about buying your property, and he's all for it.
12:53You're kidding.
12:54No, you have an appointment with him late Saturday afternoon.
12:58Oh, Riley, you're a pal.
12:59And that goes double for me.
13:01Hey, but, Ryle, how come he made the date for late Saturday afternoon?
13:05Well, because early Saturday afternoon, you're playing polo.
13:12Polo?
13:13Polo?
13:16Look, Ryle, you must be kidding.
13:18What are you doing to me?
13:19No, no, that's right.
13:20The match begins one o'clock sharp.
13:22The match?
13:23Mm-hmm.
13:23Where did Doddsworth get the idea that I know anything about polo?
13:28Oh, I don't know.
13:29Some blabbermouth must have told him.
13:32Riley.
13:34Okay, but I only said it because I was sticking up for you.
13:37And then today, he said he was short one man on his team, so I volunteered for you.
13:42You volunteered for me?
13:44Sit down, will you, Ryle?
13:45Do you know what polo is?
13:49Yeah, it's a game.
13:50On horses?
13:51On horses.
13:52Live horses?
13:52Live horses.
13:53Live horses?
13:55I don't want to play polo, Ryle.
13:57But the deal?
13:58I don't care about the deal.
13:59I ain't going to play polo.
14:01Oh, yes, you are.
14:03But, honeybee, I can't.
14:05For $5,000, you can go over Niagara Falls in a paper bag.
14:10One o'clock.
14:11Look, Riley, what are you up to?
14:16I'm going to get you in shape with a polo match.
14:18With what?
14:19With that.
14:20That?
14:21Yeah, come on.
14:21Oh, come on, Riley.
14:23What are you doing?
14:23I borrowed it from Bud Jensen.
14:25His wife used it to remove the fat from her hips.
14:27You could use it to remove the fat from your head.
14:30Where do you see this thing work?
14:31Come on, give it a try.
14:32It'll be just like you in a polo match.
14:34Look, Riley, polo ponies don't have electric switches.
14:37Yeah, but this will give you the feel.
14:38You can't turn a polo pony off and on, Riley.
14:41Well, give it a try, will you?
14:42No, the whole thing's ridiculous and I ain't going to do it.
14:44I'll tell honeybee.
14:46Okay, I'll do it.
14:46All right.
14:48What you put in there?
14:50You're all set?
14:52Yeah.
14:52All right, here we go now.
14:54How's that?
14:55Now, stay right there.
14:59Is this how polo pony goes?
15:01Stay right there.
15:02Here, take this, Malik.
15:04Put up my...
15:04Oh, come on, take it.
15:05I don't want to let it.
15:06Take it.
15:07All right, you got it?
15:08Yeah.
15:08All right.
15:08Now, when I roll the balls to you, you try to hit him.
15:13Okay?
15:13All right, here he comes.
15:14You ready?
15:16Oh, no, no, no.
15:17You got to follow through.
15:19Follow through.
15:20Now, here he comes.
15:21Watch it now.
15:23Oh, no, no, no, no.
15:25Let me show you how to get it.
15:26Okay.
15:27All right.
15:28Yeah.
15:28Look, you take...
15:29Nice match.
15:31What are you doing that for?
15:32I want to see if my horse's nose was moist.
15:35Look, Gillis, if you're not going to take this thing serious, it's just no use.
15:38Serious?
15:38I think the whole thing's dampy.
15:40Give it back.
15:41You wouldn't if you'd listened to me.
15:42Go ahead.
15:43I'm listening.
15:43I saw one of these polo matches on television the other day.
15:46I know exactly how it's done.
15:47Well, then be my guest.
15:49You want me to show you?
15:50Go right ahead.
15:51I'll show you.
15:51There's nothing to it.
15:52Go ahead.
15:52It's all in the swing.
15:54See, it's just like throwing an uppercut.
15:56You don't?
15:56Show me, Ralph.
15:57Okay.
15:57Now, you turn this thing on.
15:58Okay.
15:59Turn it on.
16:00All right, now.
16:01Now, go over and get some of those balls.
16:02It's all in the swing.
16:04See?
16:05When you get through, give the horse a piece of sugar.
16:06Go ahead.
16:07Show the book.
16:07Okay.
16:08All right.
16:15Gillis, what am I going to do?
16:17Turn your horse around and head for the hills.
16:20It is also essential to know your horse well.
16:24Oh, Junior.
16:26Hi, Pop.
16:27Hi.
16:29What's the matter with you?
16:30Well, I was playing catch with Gary in his front yard, and I threw the ball through his
16:33window.
16:34Oh, that's all right, son.
16:36That's all right?
16:37I thought you'd hit the ceiling.
16:38You always used to.
16:40Junior, as the years pass, the father becomes more understanding.
16:43He becomes more tolerant, more patient.
16:46I'll tell you what I'll do.
16:47You pay for half of it out of your allowance, and I'll take care of the rest of it.
16:50All right?
16:50That's fair enough, Pop.
16:51Good.
16:51Oh, wait a minute, son.
16:53Yeah?
16:55Junior, do you know where I can borrow a horse?
16:57Borrow a horse?
16:58Yeah, I need one.
16:59I've got to give Gillis a few pointers for the polo match next Saturday.
17:02Well, the only horse I know of around here is the one that belongs to Mr. Donovan.
17:06Oh, you mean the ex-police officer?
17:07Yeah, he used to ride the horse around on his beat.
17:09Huh?
17:10Say, Junior, you and he are pretty close friends, aren't you?
17:13That's right.
17:14He lets us guys ride his horse around on that empty lot next to his house.
17:17He's always telling us stories about the time he was on the force.
17:20What do you got cooked up now, Ryle?
17:21You'll find out.
17:22It's got something to do with playing polo.
17:24Well, look, Ryle, between you and me, I don't care if I ever...
17:28Oh!
17:30Oh, no.
17:31Yeah?
17:32Thanks, Junior.
17:33You got the one, son.
17:34Yeah.
17:34Out of it, boy.
17:36This is the horse that Mr. Donovan used to ride when he was on the police force.
17:39I didn't think it belonged to Sergeant Friday, Ryle.
17:41No.
17:42No.
17:42All right, come on.
17:43Get out.
17:43What are you, clowning?
17:44I ain't going to get on him.
17:46Look, if you want to learn how to play polo, you got to get the feel of the horse.
17:49I got the feel of the horse, and I don't like the feel of the horse.
17:53Julius, this may save your neck on Saturday.
17:56At least try it.
17:56I don't want to shock you, Ryle.
17:58I ain't going to get on the horse.
17:59Honey, be more like this.
18:01I'll get on the horse.
18:01Yeah, I don't like the feel of it, Ryle, but I'll see you then.
18:05That's it.
18:05What'd you put in there?
18:06Just for a lapse.
18:06That's all, Ryle.
18:08There's nothing to it, huh?
18:08Okay, right?
18:09Okay, now, stirrups.
18:11Here, hold him out.
18:11I got to get this one on.
18:12Hold this mouth.
18:13Okay.
18:14Here, hold this.
18:15I got it.
18:15Now, according to the book.
18:18Where's the book?
18:18Over there.
18:19Yeah, okay.
18:20Come on, boy.
18:21Right around here.
18:23That's a good boy.
18:24You know all about horses.
18:25I know all about horses.
18:25Yeah, sure.
18:26Come on.
18:27You know all about horses.
18:30Now, according to the book.
18:33You ain't going to read to me now, are you?
18:36According to the book, there's quite an act to hold them rings and swing in the mallet, see?
18:40You mean I got to hold these and steer and swing this?
18:43That's according to the book.
18:43It can't be done, Rylee.
18:44Well, certainly it can be done.
18:46It says right here.
18:47Look, the guy who wrote that, I'm going to show you how to do it.
18:49What are you going to do?
18:50Well, I'm going to show you how to do it.
18:51Rylee, this is a one-man whore.
18:53There's nothing to it.
18:54Now, look.
18:55All you got to do is hold your hands with one hand, and with the other, you swing the
18:59house.
19:00What happened, anyway?
19:14I don't know, but I heard Mr. Quincy, the mailman, blow his whistle, and the next thing
19:18I knew, I heard a horse running alongside the house.
19:20That couldn't be.
19:24Oh, it couldn't be.
19:26It is.
19:28Oh, Peg, you should see the polo outfit Dosworth sent over for Jimsy to wear.
19:33Well, how does he look at it?
19:34Well.
19:41Draw your own conclusions.
19:43What are you, Anthony?
19:47You're the guy that got me in this.
19:49Mr. Dosworth just drove up in his limousine.
19:51Well, I'm going to Little America.
19:53Tell him his rat for it sent for me.
19:54No, tell him I sent for that rat.
19:56No, no, you're not.
19:57You're going to go through and say that that property means too much to us.
20:01Oh, wait a minute.
20:01Me and horses ain't compatible by the United States.
20:05Hi, folks.
20:06Well, hello.
20:07Hi, Miss Ivy.
20:08Well, Gillis, you look raring to go.
20:11Yeah, raring.
20:12Gillis, boy.
20:12Would you be too awfully disappointed if I told you we weren't going to have that polo match?
20:16You mean we ain't going to play?
20:17Yeah, I know.
20:18I know, too.
20:19A real sportsman like you, this must be quite a blow.
20:22There's going to be a charity game from Children's Hospital, too, doggone it.
20:25Oh, you're really not going to have to match him.
20:27Don't be so disappointed, Ryle.
20:29I sprained my back.
20:30The doc won't let me play.
20:32Well, I'll be hitting the trail so long, folks.
20:33Oh, Mr. Dosworth.
20:34Yeah?
20:35About that land of Gillis's that you were going to buy.
20:38I thought about that.
20:39Keep your land, boy.
20:42What's money?
20:44But $5,000.
20:45Well, like you were saying when you're down Texas way, easy come, easy go.
20:49Besides, that money I was going to give you when I thought he was busted, I decided to
20:55donate that $5,000 to the Children's Hospital in your name.
21:00I'd be glad to split it with them.
21:03No kidding, he's going to love you, Gillis boy.
21:06Ryle, will you talk to him?
21:08Huh?
21:08Oh, yeah.
21:11How'd you sprain your back, Mr. Dosworth?
21:14Well, so that was the doggonest thing I ever did see.
21:16I was coming over here last night, and these two fellas on horseback come racing out in
21:21front of the car.
21:22The chauffeur slammed on the brakes.
21:23I slipped off the seat and twisted my back.
21:25And I'll be glad to get back to Texas.
21:28There's some mighty crazy going on around here.
21:31Find out, folks.
21:55There's some mighty crazy going on around here.
21:59There's some mighty crazy going on around here.
22:00There's some mighty crazy going on around here.
22:01There's some mighty crazy going on around here.
22:02There's some mighty crazy going on around here.
22:03There's some mighty crazy going on around here.
22:04There's some mighty crazy going on around here.
22:05There's some mighty crazy going on around here.
22:06There's some mighty crazy going on around here.
22:07There's some mighty crazy going on around here.
22:08There's some mighty crazy going on around here.
22:09There's some mighty crazy going on around here.
22:10There's some mighty crazy going on around here.
22:11There's some mighty crazy going on around here.
22:12There's some mighty crazy going on around here.
22:13There's some mighty crazy going on around here.
22:14There's some mighty crazy going on here.
22:15There's some mighty going on here.
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