- 2 days ago
the Riley and Gillis families start planning a joint camping trip. The episode revolves around their dilemma when Riley is invited to a beach house and Gillis is invited to a dude ranch, forcing them to figure out how to get out of their original commitment to each other.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Produced in association with the NBC Television Network.
00:30. . .
00:41Riley, what's the matter with you?
00:44He's blown his windmill.
00:46Now, don't be smart, Junior.
00:47What's this all about, dear?
00:49I got let off from the plant.
00:51You mean you got canned?
00:53No. They're retooling my department. I don't have to go back to work till Monday.
00:57And I'm taking my family on a trip.
00:59Oh, how wonderful.
01:01What kind of trip?
01:03Some place where we can all breathe something besides smoke mixed with fog.
01:06Somewhere where we can all take our cough suckles out for an airing.
01:10Oh, Riley, I don't think . . . .
01:15Now, there's no use talking, Peg. I've made up my head, and that's nuts.
01:19But we can't afford to . . .
01:20I know what we can afford. I've been shoving two bucks a week in the bank vacation fund.
01:24Right now, I got about a hundred clams salted in there.
01:26But that's for the summer. I hate to have you drunk.
01:28I hate to have you draw on that.
01:29I can make it up doing overtime.
01:31I'm a guy who takes care of his family. I like to look ahead.
01:34Except when you're driving the car.
01:37I'm ignoring that crack.
01:40Lady Luck is smiling on me.
01:42I got my plans, and nobody's pouring cold water on them.
01:45Attaboy, Pop. Sheep.
01:47Sheep.
02:07Hey, you!
02:10Give me a minute.
02:11Are my eyes deceiving me, or are you Satchfoot Riley?
02:20Where did you hear that name?
02:21Flatbush, Brooklyn.
02:23Crowsman's Beer Parlor.
02:25Don't you make me?
02:26It can't be!
02:28It is!
02:29Take off your hat!
02:30Squarehead Malloy!
02:32Satchfoot Riley!
02:35Where did you get out of here?
02:37Oh, I've been here for five years.
02:38No.
02:39It's on a lot more. It's on a farm.
02:40Yeah.
02:41Yeah.
02:45Me and the missus are down for the weekend.
02:47You remember Faye Shiggleton?
02:49Doopey Slipshiggleton!
02:50That's it!
02:52What's that place you stay in that?
02:54Escudero.
02:55Don't tell me you ain't ever heard of the Escudero farm.
02:59Uh, yeah!
03:00Well, yeah, sure!
03:02Good old Escudero!
03:05Where is it?
03:07It's north around Tennisville.
03:10Hey, I got a swell job there.
03:11My own little cottage, a little lake, good fishing, everything like that there.
03:16Well, what are you doing down here?
03:18Ah, get tired of gardening and looking at the same faces every day.
03:22And Faye wants to shop and see the lights.
03:24Only trouble this time is, we can't find a place to bunk.
03:27Everything is jammed full.
03:28It is?
03:29Yeah.
03:30Faye's got a girlfriend she can bunk with, but I gotta stay at the wine.
03:34Not much fun in that.
03:36Square head, I got it!
03:37Yeah, you let go to the pills, you got what?
03:39An idea.
03:40A place for you to stay for the weekend.
03:41A whole house rent free.
03:43Yeah?
03:44Whose house?
03:45My house!
03:46Aw, quit kidding.
03:47Where would you go?
03:48Up to your place.
03:49Me and my wife and the kids.
03:51You wouldn't want to go up there.
03:52Why not?
03:53I got a weekend off and you say it's beautiful.
03:55Yeah, but this isn't the kind of a place you...
03:57Look, square head, I promised him a nice weekend.
04:00I can't think of no place to take him on 835.
04:03I'm desperate.
04:04You gotta do it for me.
04:05For the sake of the old days at Kraussman's.
04:08If it's okay with you, it's okay with me.
04:10You know, I almost didn't have screwy ideas.
04:12Aw, gee, thanks, square head.
04:14You're a real pal.
04:15Well, I'll wire the superintendent you're coming.
04:18Here.
04:19Here's the key.
04:20Make yourself at home.
04:21Aw, gee, thanks.
04:22Oh, here's my key.
04:241313 Blue View Terrace.
04:26My wife had the number stamped on it so I wouldn't forget.
04:28Yeah, now I'll tell you how to get to Escadero.
04:32You get on Highway 2, and you keep going until you come to Scamaro Cuts Avenue,
04:36and you turn to the right.
04:37Then you're on Highway 6, and then...
04:39You better write this down, Satchelor.
04:40I don't have to write it down.
04:41I got a memory like a sieve.
04:42On Highway 6, you get that.
04:43Now you turn to the left, and you keep going up the hill for about 17 and a half miles.
04:44Then you come to the right.
04:45You can't get no more in there unless it's something you can pour in.
04:46Don't worry about this bag.
04:47You belong to my grandmother.
04:48You sure she ain't still in it?
04:50You know, you and Honey Bee ought to come along with this.
04:51This is the great thing.
04:52I'm going to be here.
04:53I'm going to be here.
04:54I'm going to be here.
04:55I'm going to be here.
04:56I'm going to be here.
04:57I'm going to be here.
04:58I'm going to be here.
04:59I'm going to be here.
05:00You have to do something you can pour in.
05:01Don't worry about this bag.
05:02You belong to my grandmother.
05:03You sure she ain't still in it?
05:05You know, you and Honey Bee ought to come along with this.
05:08This is the garden spot of California.
05:10Golf, tennis, hunting, fishing, swimming.
05:13You do all emptying, you'll come back a wreck.
05:16Don't worry about me.
05:17I'm a different ratty when I get out in the fresh air.
05:19You don't change much standing under a ventilator.
05:22Pop, you got room in there for my toothpaste and toothbrush?
05:25He ain't got room in there for a tooth.
05:27Yeah, throw it in right here, Junior.
05:29here, Junior. Daddy, do you think I should pack a sun suit? Well, sure, they got sun up there, and some
05:35very nice, refined boys to see you in it. You think there'll be boys up there? Well, of course, from all
05:40the best families in Cucamonga and Pismo Beach. Oh, why didn't you tell me? You better start closing
05:49it. It's gonna be a project. Not this big. They ain't made bags like this in a long time. Why should
05:55they? Riley, shall I take a formal? What for? You don't get car sick. I mean an evening gown. Oh, yeah, yeah, you better take a flannel when we may be sleeping out in the open. Get the bag closed. Okay. Sit on it, Ryle. That's where your power is. Never mind giving orders. Get up here and
06:25give me a hand, will you? Take it easy, and she'll bust at the seam. Not this big. This is genuine cowhide made from one of Grandma's prized cows. Want me to jump on it, Pop? Yeah, that's a good idea, Junior. Let's put it on the floor, Gillis. All set, Pop? Let her go, Junior.
06:46Here. Jeepers, what happened? Grandma's cow must have had a weak stomach. This is the last one, Ryle. You got any more room back there, Junior? No. Pearl Buck don't take this much stuff with her when she's going to Africa.
07:11It's Frank Buck. This is a classy resort we're going to. You gotta have clothes to fit every occasion. You got them. Babs can put her feet on out to brace herself. If you're driving, you better strap them all in. Don't worry about me. I'm not. I'm thinking about the women and children. Yeah, that's right. Where are they? Hey, Peg! Babs! Come on! We're coming, Daddy!
07:34What's that? She thought of another occasion. It's my new dress. There's bound to be a Saturday night dance. Let's get started, Riley. The farther we get in daylight, the better. I've been waiting 20 minutes. All right, get in, Babs. Where's Junior? Well, he was here a minute ago. That kid's never around when you want him. Well, call him. We can't leave without him. Junior!
08:02Junior! In here, Kwok! I heard him. So did I. Kwok! Junior, come out from underneath that car. Ryle, bye. He's locked up in the back. Oh. Junior, come out of there. We almost left without you.
08:22Oh, it's 10.30, Riley. We should be there. I'm sure you took the wrong road. Squarehead said turn left at Bear Creek onto a cement road.
08:38They sure put in lumpy cement up north. Oh, I knew you were wrong. Well, drive into that store right ahead. We can ask.
08:46Okay, but it's just wasting time.
08:56Maybe you can get a map, Daddy. I know where I am. You can't fool me. I know every road in the state of California.
09:03Howdy, folks. Welcome to Nevada.
09:06You see, I... Nevada?
09:08Bus store inside the state line.
09:10How did we get to Nevada? I've been driving north.
09:12We're trying to get to Escudero Farm.
09:16Before Monday.
09:17Eh, let me see. It's probably on Route 6.
09:21Well, how do we get on Route 6?
09:23Well, now, that's quite a problem, lady.
09:26Let me see.
09:27Eh, drive straight ahead about six miles till you come to Ed Finley's Red Barn.
09:32Then turn right at the creek and go east to Carmichael's Feed and Grain Store.
09:35And then jog left till you come to the railroad crossing.
09:38And if Herb Stoker's there, he'll set you straight.
09:40Got it.
09:46Much obliged.
09:47Wisconsin, here we come.
09:50I knew I shouldn't have let you start without written directions.
09:54What's that road sign say, Junior?
09:56You went by too fast.
09:58Pull up, Riley. We don't want to be wrong again. It's nearly midnight.
10:01We're not going to get anywhere. We're stopping every five minutes.
10:12Hey, Pop, there's a man back there in a brown coat.
10:15Well, why don't you get out and ask him, Riley?
10:17All right.
10:19I better take the flashlight so I can see where I'm going.
10:21Say, mister.
10:33Could you...
10:34Could you...
10:35What is it, Riley? What's the matter?
10:42Junior needs glasses.
10:44Well, here we are. I got you here.
10:511.30 in the morning.
10:53I'll open the gate.
10:55You don't have to, Pop. Here comes a man.
10:58What?
10:58I don't trust you no more, Junior.
11:05State your business, please.
11:07I'm Chester A. Riley.
11:08We're out to find the Molloy Cottage for the weekend.
11:11Oh, yeah. The super told me.
11:13Just a minute. I'll open the gate.
11:21Some swanky joint. I got a porter in uniform to open the gate.
11:24That's some gate.
11:29You need it to keep out the riffraff, huh?
11:32Yeah, that's a good one. All right.
11:34Go right straight ahead.
11:35Third cottage on the left. You can't miss it.
11:37Thank you very much.
11:38Here's a dime for you, my boy,
11:40and there'll be another one when we leave.
11:50Here we are, gang. All out.
11:55Oh, just bring in the big bag.
11:56We can get the rest of the morning.
11:57Give him a hand, Junior.
11:59Attaboy.
12:03Now, you put some coffee on, Peg,
12:05and I'll turn the car around
12:06and park back with the rest of the cars.
12:08Yes, dear.
12:08Now, be careful, Daddy.
12:10Will you stop worrying?
12:11An experienced driver knows how to turn a car around.
12:13Help!
12:14Help!
12:15Help!
12:15Help!
12:16Help!
12:16Somebody quick!
12:17My husband, he's got to hurry!
12:31Help!
12:32Help!
12:33Riley, are you all right?
12:35Who put this lake here?
12:37That's no lake.
12:38That's our water supply.
12:39Get me out of here!
12:41Oh, help.
12:42Charlie.
12:43Come on.
12:45Oh.
12:47Told you to watch where you're going.
12:49Now, you march into the house
12:50before you get pneumonia.
12:51What about the car?
12:53We'll have to get the bulldozer
12:54to pull it out.
12:55Well, don't stand there and shiver.
12:56Get to bed.
12:57Oh, Katie.
12:59Jump on.
12:59Hey, Pop!
13:10You forgot to turn off the lights!
13:18Boy, they sure made a route getting that car out last night.
13:22A beautiful new car.
13:24Ruined.
13:24Oh, heck.
13:25No water won't hurt that car.
13:27A little water.
13:32Good morning, kids.
13:39Fix me four fried eggs, Ben.
13:40I'm hungry as an alligator.
13:42Daddy.
13:43Holy smoke!
13:45What are you staring at?
13:47Has Mom seen you yet?
13:48No, I'm letting her sleep late.
13:51Don't you think maybe we'd better see
13:52if they dress like that up here, Daddy?
13:54You think it's a little too sporty
13:56for a place like this, huh?
13:58Maybe we can see what some of the guests are wearing.
14:00Oh, they're three men out on the lawn.
14:10They got on blue denims and undershirts.
14:13Yeah.
14:13Must be informal up here.
14:15I've seen some blue denims of square heads in the closet.
14:18I'll go put them on.
14:20I wouldn't want them to think I'm snooty.
14:24What are they doing?
14:26They must be setting up for horseshoe pitching.
14:28I think I'll join the gentleman,
14:30make it a foursome,
14:30as soon as I have my breakfast,
14:32and change my clothes.
14:46Hiya, fellas.
14:48You want to make it two teams?
14:49Hiya, Mike.
14:50You're new around here, ain't you?
14:52Yeah, just got in last night.
14:53Nice spot.
14:54I think I'm going to like it.
14:55You, uh, you fellas been here long?
14:59Six months.
15:01Butch four.
15:01Rocco a year.
15:03Hey, you sure must like it.
15:04I'm only staying for the weekend.
15:07The weekend?
15:08Yeah.
15:09Tell you the truth,
15:10I didn't know where I was going at first,
15:11but I'm sure glad I wound up here.
15:13You said it.
15:14It's got Alcatraz beta mile.
15:17Alcatraz?
15:19Hey, you gentlemen bring your families along?
15:21Not this time, Mike.
15:23The little woman is holed up in tahatchipy.
15:25Tahatchipy?
15:26Yeah.
15:28You got a sense of humor, all right.
15:30Hey, you mind if I have a go with that sledgehammer?
15:33No, it's a pleasure.
15:34Hand on the gong, Rocco.
15:36Thanks.
15:39Well,
15:39take it easy.
15:44You missed.
15:45Huh?
15:46Well,
15:47I'm getting the hang of it.
15:59Great exercise.
16:00I hit the gong six times at Ocean Park.
16:03It's a kind of a trick, you know?
16:04Snap two.
16:06Oh, hello.
16:07You the head bell hop?
16:09Nanny L.
16:10Lips.
16:11Two of you men go down the stable.
16:12The other two finish up here.
16:14Just a minute.
16:16You go to the stable.
16:17And while you're there, bring back the horseshoes.
16:19I'll tip you later.
16:22What's going on here, Casey?
16:23Search me.
16:24This guy must have got out of a psych ward.
16:27Me and these gentlemen are going to pitch a game of horseshoes.
16:30You're going to what?
16:32We're going to pitch horseshoes.
16:33You heard me.
16:35And we don't need no smart aleck bellhop around giving orders.
16:39All right, wise guy.
16:40Wait a minute.
16:40Come on.
16:41I'm a guest here.
16:42Wait, I'll report you to the men.
16:43That's the trouble with you, men.
16:52You get a break that you don't deserve.
16:54You don't appreciate being sent to an easy prison camp instead of the penitentiary where you belong.
17:01Prison camp?
17:02The finest in the state.
17:04And you get this through that thick skull of yours.
17:07But you don't understand.
17:08Shut up when the warden's talking.
17:10Yes, sir.
17:14My name's Riley.
17:16Chester A. Riley.
17:17I'm a friend of Square.
17:18I mean, Tom Malloy.
17:20Are you the man who's staying in Malloy's cottage?
17:28Yes, your honor.
17:29Me, my wife, and my two kids.
17:32First you dump your car in our reservoir.
17:35Then you fraternize with the prisoners.
17:37But I didn't know this was a...
17:39You must be ribbing me.
17:44You mean this is a prison camp and not a rest resort?
17:48Well, if it is, it's the only one where every guest has a lawyer trying to cancel his reservation.
17:53Do you mean to tell me you didn't know your friend Malloy is our ground superintendent?
17:58What a revolting development this is!
18:13Get a load of that!
18:15Hiya, gorgeous!
18:16Hiya, beautiful!
18:18Some joint.
18:19They're getting everything up here!
18:20Yeah!
18:21Yeah!
18:21Yeah!
18:28Peg, pack the bags.
18:30We're leaving.
18:31What's wrong?
18:31You look like you've seen a goat.
18:33Now, don't argue.
18:34Get moving.
18:34Where are the kids?
18:35Outside somewhere.
18:37What's the matter?
18:38I'm homesick.
18:40I don't like this place.
18:41I feel all cooped up.
18:44Don't be ridiculous.
18:45We just got here.
18:47I haven't even seen the place.
18:49Peg, you won't like it.
18:51The guests aren't your type.
18:53Come on, let's get the kids up.
18:56Hiya, Daddy.
18:57Finished pitching horseshoes?
18:58Babs, were you outside like that?
19:01Of course.
19:02What's wrong with it?
19:03Well, there ain't enough of it.
19:06Father's decided he doesn't like the place.
19:08Well, I think it's swell.
19:11Outside of some fellas who whistled at me.
19:13Peg, pack the bags.
19:16One of the boys called me beautiful, Daddy,
19:18and the other one said,
19:19Hi, gorgeous.
19:20Pack the bags, Peg!
19:23Hey, Pop!
19:24Some guy just yelled at me real rough.
19:27What?
19:27What were you doing?
19:28Just climbing the fence.
19:32There's something funny about all this.
19:35You're hiding something, Riley.
19:39Come in.
19:40The warden wants to apologize for the mistake.
19:46Here's some fresh eggs from the farm.
19:50The warden?
19:51Yeah.
19:53Mr. Warden, the proprietor.
19:55I met him.
19:55The warden of the farm.
19:57What farm?
19:59Escadero State Prison Farm.
20:01Well, where's that?
20:02Don't look now, lady.
20:04But you're in it.
20:10Oh, well, all right.
20:10So, so we made a mistake.
20:12Wait.
20:12Well, all right.
20:13I made a mistake.
20:14It's only human.
20:15I ain't perfect, you know.
20:17Prison farm.
20:19Oh, Daddy.
20:21I can see it now.
20:23Number 102346.
20:25Don't you have to have a pass to get out of here, Pop?
20:33We don't need a pass.
20:34The gate's open.
20:34I just seen it.
20:35You better ask, Riley.
20:36I think it's necessary.
20:37Not for me.
20:38I ain't stopping for nothing.
20:40I'm getting out of here.
20:41I'm getting out of here.
21:11Do you realize you might have gotten a bullet in your brain?
21:14No, no.
21:15Not a chance, Peg.
21:16It'll take a pretty good sharpshooter to hit my brain.
21:24Oh, Riley.
21:41Oh, Riley.
21:50Oh, Riley.
21:54Oh, Riley.
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