- 10 minutes ago
Category
π₯
Short filmTranscript
00:00I gotta ask, is someone requesting pancakes?
00:08Because it feels like we eat them all the time.
00:13It just says the hospital.
00:16Bold caller ID.
00:17Hello? Oh, hey, Junior.
00:21Oh, geez. Okay, yeah. Bye.
00:25That was my son.
00:28Morty Junior?
00:29Oh, with the hands, you know, coming out of his head?
00:31Oh, fuck that guy.
00:34Ugh, boo.
00:35Guys, come on.
00:36Morty, he wrote a New York Times bestseller about what a bad dad you are.
00:40It made us look bad for raising you.
00:42From one writer to another, the guy is a half piece of shit.
00:46It's okay to hate your kids, Morty.
00:48But he called from the hospital.
00:50You think he's dying?
00:52Who cares?
00:55Well, it's not me.
00:56Oh, shit.
00:59Our table's ready.
01:00OMG.
01:01Summer made me get a reservation for us at some dumb precog restaurant.
01:04It's the Toast of Food Talk.
01:06They predetermine what you'd want to eat before you even get there.
01:09Time to see if this place is worth having to go to it.
01:11It'll beat this shit.
01:13Oppa!
01:14And hey, Morty, sorry about your terrible son.
01:17I say let him die alone in that hospital bed.
01:19Damn, rule of threes, huh?
01:23Oh, my vibrator.
01:25Sorry, honey.
01:26Our vibrator.
01:29What?
01:29Do you want me to pull it out and show it to you?
01:32We're good.
01:32Let's get the hell out of here.
01:33Jesus Christ.
01:34Let's get the hell out of here.
02:04Welcome back to Down Beats the Game, the show.
02:10Contestants, you know the rules.
02:12Father, you came.
02:14Junior, wow, you got old fast.
02:18Well, time flies when you're a gazorpion.
02:22I suppose you read the book.
02:25It was hard to avoid for a while.
02:28Yeah, you said some tough stuff to a pretty wide audience.
02:32I'm sorry.
02:33Hey, that's family, I guess.
02:37Can't help but notice you're dying.
02:41I didn't ask you here to talk about that.
02:44I was hoping you'd help me make peace with my mother.
02:48Oh, yeah, that might be tough.
02:52Um, the thing is, your mother was...
02:56A semen receptacle?
02:58Oh, you, uh, you heard, huh?
03:01I know she was made to process seed and never technically alive, but I'd still like to pay
03:07my respects.
03:08Well, see, I'm not proud of where she ended up.
03:12You think I'm proud of any of my life choices?
03:15Yeah, I did hear about the, uh, the soft cancelling.
03:20Oh.
03:21I didn't take any joy from it.
03:23You know what?
03:24Let's see what we can do.
03:25I love when restaurants have a big take.
03:31I don't know.
03:32This aesthetic really clashes with the table buzzer.
03:34Smith, party of two.
03:36Oh, my God.
03:37So worth it.
03:39Perfectly predicted.
03:40Oh, I did want this, but I never saw it coming.
03:45Oh, snap, the wooded balls.
03:47You think the cogs are behind there?
03:48Who cares?
03:49This place is all gimmick.
03:50Are you grumpy about everything?
03:52They bring you food, and you eat it.
03:54Ooh, that's totally us.
03:57What do you think I ordered, ribs?
03:58No, boring.
03:59Space ribs.
04:02Oh, nice.
04:04More lackey and fawn.
04:05Side, it's mother's tentacle.
04:09Mm, pretty good.
04:11See?
04:12Lay it on me.
04:15Avocado toast?
04:17With cracked pepper on top.
04:19Okay.
04:20I mean, pepper's pretty normal.
04:23So are you.
04:23You brought us to a restaurant from the Internet.
04:32Okay, yes.
04:33I guess I deserve this.
04:36You're not pranking me?
04:37No, no.
04:38This is where Gwendolyn was laid to rest.
04:40Is this your trash bin?
04:42Rick's garbage portal.
04:46Ah, it doesn't sound any better.
04:47Look, I told you I wasn't proud of this.
04:50All right, then.
04:50Mother, I'm told your mouth was always open, but I'm sure your heart was, as well.
04:59Ah, who am I kidding?
05:01This sucks.
05:03Wait, I see you're making a move to go in.
05:05I will go in first, okay?
05:09Whoa.
05:10How much stuff does your grandfather throw away?
05:13A lot.
05:14He likes to get drunk and invent stuff that doesn't make any sense.
05:16Pretty wasteful.
05:18Yeah, that's why Rick built Salvatron.
05:21A self-replicating system that filters the trash for anything valuable.
05:24Oh, they're coming over.
05:25Dude, just a formality.
05:27Value detected.
05:28Value detected.
05:29Uh, hesitancy detected?
05:33Yeah, what's up?
05:35It's just if I find anything of value, I have to tell Rick about it.
05:40Okay.
05:41And, you know, talking to Rick can be dicey.
05:44I mean, the last Salvatron found a bag of diamonds, and Rick yelled at them about how diamonds are bullshit.
05:49Right, but I'm his grandson.
05:52How do I know he didn't throw his grandson away?
05:54Sorry, pal, but I can't risk it.
05:57Good news is, you will look like trash when I'm done.
06:00What?
06:01How was that good news?
06:05Mmm, even the plate tastes good.
06:07What's the story with dessert?
06:09Can I just ask for lava cake, or do I have to think it at them?
06:13All right, I'll try it.
06:15Maybe I'm missing something.
06:16No, it's just fucking avocado toast, and the avocado's not even that ripe.
06:25Summer, this place runs on future-predicty precock bullshit.
06:29You don't want to get caught up in that.
06:32I'm gonna say something.
06:34No, Summer, you're not Morty.
06:35I can't just grab you.
06:38Which one of you assholes did this to me?
06:40Hey, no finishing my sentences.
06:42You're wrong about me.
06:43I want high-sophisticated space food with an element of cruelty in its preparation.
06:47Come on, Sum Sum.
06:48They're clearly luring us into some complicated 12-steps-ahead examination of determinism and causality.
06:53Anything you do here pulls us further into their bullshit.
06:55I'm more complex than that.
06:57I said stop that.
06:58Ugh, you guys think you know everything.
07:00With your big heads and slimming bodysuits.
07:02But maybe you won't see this.
07:06Ow, fuck.
07:07Jesus, Summer, you hit it with a pan?
07:09I thought I would see it coming.
07:10I even teed it up a little.
07:12Thomas Smith, come out with your hands up.
07:14You are under arrest.
07:16How'd the cops get here so fast?
07:17They obviously called in a tip ahead of time.
07:19Oh, you like that?
07:21You like us saying the same thing at the same time?
07:23Because that could be the whole story, Summer.
07:25Except it won't because the cops are surrounding us.
07:28Shut up!
07:29We're stuck in this now.
07:30The only reason I haven't burned this place to the ground is because the cogs probably want that.
07:34Rick Sanchez will realize the cogs are a better hang.
07:37What?
07:37That'd only be true if...
07:38The cogs only want what he wants.
07:40Okay, what do I want?
07:43Dessert.
07:44It is already ordered.
07:45To our cool safe house.
07:47I'm listening.
07:48You're flipping sides over dessert?
07:50Hey, I like my meal.
07:51But this is exactly what you said they'd do to me.
07:53Yeah, and you got us into this mess.
07:55New plan, Summer.
07:55We're taking these cogs to go.
07:57Come back!
08:00Maybe I just need to scare you again.
08:04Whoa!
08:06Guys?
08:07Hello?
08:08I see a bunch of rubble.
08:10Is it safe to say I killed you?
08:14Salvatron, you've done it again.
08:19Junior!
08:20Oh, God!
08:21Are you okay?
08:22I hope I didn't speed up your death.
08:24I'm all right, I think.
08:27Is that a walking pizza box?
08:29It's not safe here.
08:30Come quickly.
08:32We call it Garbtopia because it's made of garbage.
08:34Yeah, I got it.
08:35So Salvatron's just been attacking everything?
08:38If it's all garbage, there's no need to tell Rick.
08:41Look at all these eclectic survivors.
08:43Yeah, there was a while where Rick's inventions could all walk and talk.
08:47Hey, big boy.
08:48Want to drain that python?
08:49Hey, it was a short period.
08:51Hey, uh, we're looking for someone.
08:53Can you help us?
08:55I think I saw her in the graveyard.
08:58Down that tunnel over there.
09:00Oh, and the pizza points the way.
09:03Wish she hadn't shitted on the ground.
09:04I'm kind of hungry.
09:06Junior?
09:08Kaplanidus!
09:08Claim your magic power!
09:11But how do I find it?
09:13Brave little goblin, all alone, no parent's here to raise you.
09:19Go, little goblin, leave that home, your magic will amaze you.
09:24It's the Enchanted Goblin series.
09:27Yeah, it's like our Bible down here.
09:29I wrote Enchanted Goblin.
09:31All seven books?
09:32I guess you really enjoyed that box set I sent you.
09:37We have a complicated relationship!
09:38No, no.
09:39My first book wouldn't exactly have left you aching for more.
09:43That's all in the past, son.
09:45I'm glad we're on this adventure together.
09:47Now, what do you say we go see your dead mom?
09:53Summersmith, two o'clock.
09:54She complains about you having a good time.
09:56But don't get in the water.
09:57I need a dry person to hand me things.
09:59We've been here for hours.
10:00By design. It's called holing up.
10:02Relax. Have some of the giant eclair they knew would delight me.
10:06It really is so fun that it's big.
10:08Summersmith will not relax.
10:10Yeah, because Rick's hanging with you guys instead of me.
10:12Summersmith, you threw a pan at them and they took us to a pool.
10:15The cogs are great.
10:16Check this out.
10:21See this? We didn't rehearse it at all.
10:23So much for being trapped in its cog bullshit.
10:25Weren't you all worried about its endgame?
10:27Summersmith, this is its endgame.
10:29It loves me.
10:30And if it wanted to be free, it could leave it any time it wants.
10:32Open door policy.
10:34Yes.
10:34Oh, come on. Like, you didn't know I'd do that?
10:36Why are you sulking?
10:37You wanted to be at a restaurant with cogs.
10:39This is nominally different at best.
10:41I wanted to be at a restaurant with you.
10:44I just wanted you to try some cool shit with me.
10:46Summer, you wanted me on this dumb hang because deep down you think you know what I want.
10:50This thing actually knows before I even want it.
10:53Wow. Claire's good wet, too.
10:56Rick does jello shots. Rick does jello shots.
10:58These cogs know what's up.
11:01Jello shot delivery.
11:03Can you grab them, Summer?
11:04This is why it's good to have someone out of the pool.
11:06I hate these cog assholes.
11:09I love you guys.
11:10Shots, shots, shots.
11:13My God.
11:14Yeah, I guess one man's trash is another man's beautiful cemetery.
11:20Looks like there's a sex robot section over that way.
11:27There she is.
11:31Hello, Mother.
11:32It's me, your baby boy.
11:35I wish I could have known you.
11:36She was the finest I ever had.
11:39Well, top three.
11:40Top five, at least.
11:42Oh, top five, eh?
11:43There's a lot more than five, too.
11:46It's high praise.
11:47Your mom could really throw it back.
11:49Oh, I know a thing or two about ranking whom I've slept with.
11:52Oh, yeah?
11:54Two words.
11:55Heather Locklear.
11:57That's my boy.
11:58Thank you for bringing me here, Dad.
12:01You're welcome, son.
12:03I'm happy we did this.
12:04So are we!
12:08God, who are you?
12:09Oh, let us go.
12:10I am that which should not be.
12:12I am the trash of the trash.
12:15They don't let me live with everyone else.
12:18Human boy, Rick Spawn, I know you can open the door to the upper bar.
12:24Salvatron will kill us up there.
12:25I'll take my chances.
12:28I'm sorry, Junior.
12:29I was a horrible father.
12:31I didn't understand the consequences of anything.
12:33And now this thing's gonna kill us when you were already dying.
12:37I'm the fucking worst.
12:39Well, I'm not actually dying.
12:41What?
12:42You just sort of inferred.
12:43Projected, really.
12:44I never said out loud, I was dying.
12:46What?
12:47I needed material for my new book.
12:48A sequel to my horrible father.
12:50It's my only book that made money.
12:52Let me punch him.
12:53Let me punch my asshole, son.
12:54You're opposed, assholes.
12:55That conversation you just had about ranking women was gross.
12:59It was trash, planet talk.
13:01So is this.
13:03No, Junior.
13:05Junior.
13:06Just another day in Gobtopia.
13:09Let's ride.
13:10No.
13:14You suck.
13:15My kid sucked too, but I didn't want him to die.
13:18Shut up.
13:19Open it with your meat.
13:20Adam.
13:21Looks like we got a Scenario 3 here, Morty.
13:26You're clearly leading some kind of trash rebellion.
13:29Or something is wearing your skin.
13:30I don't know.
13:31I only recorded three scenarios, and the other two are about you doing a Goonies.
13:35Anyway, talk to Salvatron.
13:36They'll sort this out.
13:38No, not Salvatron.
13:40Rick, it's not a Scenario 3.
13:42No!
13:43Make that letter come down!
13:44I'm not trying.
13:45I don't want to be here either.
13:47Aw, man.
13:48You're still alive?
13:49And what's this fucking thing?
13:51This is not good for me.
13:53No!
13:54I have to get back to my water.
14:00Ah, shit.
14:01Throw them farther so I can shoot you.
14:04Why would I do that?
14:06Hey, I'll do it myself.
14:09Seriously?
14:10This trash is not sturdy.
14:12All right.
14:13I'm actually going to go check this time.
14:16There's tunnels down here?
14:18Oh, jeez.
14:21Yoo-hoo.
14:24Woo!
14:24Woo!
14:25Talk about value detected.
14:28Ah!
14:28Ah!
14:29Ah!
14:29Ah!
14:30Ah!
14:30Ah!
14:31Ah!
14:32She had more value than you could ever know.
14:34Junior, you're alive?
14:36Courtesy of my loyal fans here, these autograph hounds found me dying in the cemetery, patched
14:41me up, and tunneled us to you.
14:43You really found your audience, huh?
14:45I'm sorry for trying to sell you out again.
14:47The only thing that ever made me valuable was trashing you.
14:51I'm so broke, Dad.
14:55There are so many paternity lawsuits.
14:57Let's just say the New Yorker has been sniffing around.
15:00Listen, Salvatron knows about the tunnels.
15:02We've got to warn everyone.
15:03Also, can you sign this now?
15:07Ugh.
15:07What the?
15:09Hello?
15:10Summer.
15:11I think the cogs drugged me and bailed.
15:14Summer?
15:17Summer!
15:18Ah!
15:20Summer Smith drugs the cogs!
15:22Summer Smith drugs the cogs!
15:23Picked up on that, huh?
15:25Like you didn't know this was coming?
15:27Ah!
15:28Summer Smith gets us killed!
15:30That's right.
15:31Or the cogs tell the truth.
15:33Is avocado toast what I wanted?
15:35What?
15:36Ah!
15:36Is avocado toast what I wanted?
15:39Okay, okay, it wasn't.
15:40And I'm a good Hank.
15:42You are.
15:43You were right.
15:44We used you to get to your grandpa to get to you.
15:46Damn right.
15:47I knew I wasn't a basic avocado-ass bitch.
15:49So let's just get to where you want to get
15:51so I can be free of this story.
15:53We're down.
15:55Oh, shit.
15:56Give me back my cogs!
15:57Sorry, Grandpa.
15:58You said not to get caught up in cogs bullshit,
16:00so I'm doing the opposite of that.
16:02This isn't the opposite of that.
16:03Summer Smith makes a hard ride in two seconds.
16:06But that's a billboard.
16:07She makes a hard ride.
16:08I'm trusting you guys.
16:11Holy shit, you guys are amazing.
16:14You don't deserve my fault, little beauty.
16:16She does a barrel roll.
16:22You're ruining this summer.
16:23All that future-predict-y-cog nonsense
16:25was finally working for me.
16:28I thought you wanted to hang out today.
16:30Not like this.
16:33She pulls the parking brake.
16:35Left, right, right, right!
16:42Grab G-Rentor Brick off the freeway!
16:48Trash people.
16:49My people.
16:50Salvatron knows of Gobtopia.
16:53Our only chance
16:54is to take this battle
16:55to them!
16:56If I may,
16:57it would be suicide
16:58to take a run at Salvatron's tower.
17:00I agree.
17:01Don't listen to him.
17:02That's just Devil's Advocate Bot.
17:04I'm glad Rick trashed him.
17:05If I may,
17:07you don't look glad.
17:13Tim, what a noise.
17:16The Horn of Goblinidus
17:18is a reminder
17:18that anything is possible.
17:20It was blown
17:21before they toppled
17:21Gobnob the Elf's son
17:23in Book 2.
17:23And Belugalsmoo in Book 3.
17:25Also the White Wizard
17:26in Book 4.
17:27All right, I get it.
17:28I went to the same well a lot.
17:30You read Enchanted Goblin?
17:32Yeah, I loved it.
17:33I'm 14.
17:34I'm the target audience.
17:35Salvatron's at the gate!
17:47Value not protected!
17:49Pow!
17:51Right the pisser.
17:56I love right here on the one!
17:58That's so embarrassing!
18:00Moody, my life was great
18:01until you showed up!
18:04Eat shit in hell, tower!
18:17My people,
18:19topple your oppressor!
18:21Aggro!
18:22Aggro!
18:23Aggro!
18:24Aggro!
18:25Aggro!
18:28Don't tell brick
18:30about them!
18:35Poor Salvatron.
18:37They were just like us,
18:38afraid of being discarded.
18:40But today,
18:42we begin a new era
18:43where everyone has value.
18:46Especially authors.
18:47I'm still a little trash.
18:50I guess you get it from your dad!
18:52Ha ha ha ha ha!
18:53Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
18:54Aaaaaaaaaah!
18:55Aaaaah!
18:56Aaaaah!
18:57Aaaaaah!
18:58Aaaaaah!
18:59Aaaaaah!
19:04Right on time.
19:05This food truck is very fuzzy.
19:07Yeah, there's even that
19:08staggering old man they mention.
19:10Jesus.
19:11Wow.
19:12You put us through all that
19:13just to help a burnt-out restaurant staff
19:14start a food truck?
19:16Basic.
19:17She is more complex than that.
19:20Damn.
19:21Great dog.
19:22That's better than avocado toast?
19:25You don't get new ones.
19:27You sure you cogs
19:28don't want to keep hanging out?
19:30Was it ever real?
19:31Rick Sanchez
19:32doesn't want to hear the answer to that.
19:36But if he did...
19:38Ow!
19:39Ooh!
19:40Ow!
19:42I tried the portal again.
19:43No dice.
19:44Rick really hates the Goonies.
19:46I think we're going to like it in Garbtopia.
19:49In fact, I've taken a trash wife.
19:52You've taken her?
19:54We gave ourselves to each other.
19:57I'd stay down here even if there was a way out.
20:00They won't be able to make you pay
20:01child support down here, huh?
20:03Oh, Dad.
20:05Look at the two of us.
20:06Spending time together.
20:08Yeah.
20:09This is nice.
20:14Is that a food truck?
20:16We're already gentrifying.
20:18Rick!
20:19Rick!
20:20Rick!
20:21Get me out of here!
20:22Oh, God!
20:23Don't worry.
20:24Our son won't be like him.
20:25It's nothing personal!
20:26I'm only 14!
20:27I gotta get out of here!
20:28That was the last time I saw my father.
20:31Once more, my mother's voice came to me.
20:33Carried on the wind.
20:35Be free, my son.
20:37And somehow I did feel free.
20:39My father was horrible.
20:41And my mother was garbage.
20:43But I knew myself now.
20:45And somehow, that was enough.
20:49Told you.
20:50That little shit.
20:51Can't believe he got a book deal on Rick's trash moon.
20:54Come on, we're boarding.
20:55You guys still read books?
20:57Tell me, I just wanted to see that we're gonna get it.
20:59Hang on.
21:00Yeah!
21:05I'd like to stay away.
21:12Order 53, hot cogs, Chicago style.
21:34Uh, if I may, I know there's zero substitutions,
21:38but I would never want onions in my hot dog.
21:40Yes, you do.
21:41Uh, if I may, I do not.
21:43You die of a massive coronary at the age of 43.
21:47Uh, if, if, if I may.
21:53Boss wants to see you.
21:54Is that a prediction or?
21:56Just go talk to him, Steve.
21:59Did you get any of that?
22:01We'll see you next time.
22:03Yeah.
22:08Come here.
22:09Give me a minute.
22:12Oh, yeah.
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