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00:00Sabrina Niedi's show, a river of candy corn runs through it.
00:05Hilda says she can't wait for the new furniture to get here, even though she could zap it up for free.
00:12I guess every witch only buys stuff because it's the right thing to do,
00:15but that still doesn't explain why they won't zap up what they ordered so they could get it right away after that.
00:21If they're out of magic, they could wait to get it back.
00:24So why would they order it when out of it because they're out of it instead of waiting?
00:30Zelda says she looks forward to celebrating Halloween at home,
00:34and Sabrina jumps to the conclusion that they're not going to have to see their relatives today because of that
00:38when it could just as easily mean they're coming to her house.
00:42Zelda says she called them and said she just couldn't make it.
00:47So I'm just supposed to assume that the reason it makes sense is Zelda uncharacteristically
00:51isn't going to follow a tradition she insisted on last year,
00:55even though every time she hates being insulted for being single there,
00:58is that she wants to keep Sabrina from being tormented by Amanda again.
01:03Hilda says she's glad because flying during the holidays always results in vacuum-to-vacuum traffic.
01:10Why would any witch fly during the holidays instead of just walking into the closet to warp to the family reunion place?
01:17Like Hilda did last Halloween.
01:21Every witch would just celebrate the holidays by walking into the closet portal to go to the free-ranged place it connects to,
01:28so being out of magic wanted to justify having to fly through traffic.
01:31She must have had to deal with some really selfish, unreasonable relatives in the past
01:37if they insisted on having get-togethers in places you have to fly to because there's no portal there
01:43and the witches don't know what it looks like.
01:45Which they would if they were sent a photo of it.
01:48Sabrina references that the last time she was at a Halloween family reunion,
01:52she had to watch her grandpa find his teeth.
01:56That's weird because it never happened in the one other Halloween party we saw her at,
02:01which didn't even have any old-looking men in it.
02:04Another thing that wouldn't have even happened off-screen
02:07is witches would use their magic so their teeth would stay in.
02:12Someone would have to intentionally use magic to get his teeth out so he'd have to find them first,
02:18which would only happen if he did it as a game.
02:20But it'd be gross to watch,
02:23so he'd have to be crazy to do that instead of play a normal game.
02:27They'd hear a loud voice warn them before some new furniture falls into the living room.
02:34It wouldn't be done like that either because not enough time passed before that happened after the warning,
02:39so there wasn't enough time for someone who'd be lying there injured and out of magic,
02:43or asleep, to get out of the way of them.
02:46And what if a baby was there?
02:48They'd have gotten sued into not doing things like this anymore.
02:52And there's no reason this would be a new practice.
02:55Furniture's existed for thousands of years.
02:59Zelda says she loves the furniture,
03:01with no one lampshading out dangerous this was somehow.
03:04I guess Salem just threatened to mark his territory on it to annoy them to relieve stress,
03:10because he should know witches would stop him from doing that.
03:15Valerie reveals she's too scared to just say hi to the jocks,
03:19and Livvy invites them to a party.
03:21Sabrina reassures Valerie these are the best years of Livvy's life.
03:26Valerie betrays Sabrina again by lying to everyone that Sabrina's having a party tonight,
03:31without her permission.
03:34At least I get to see her look scared when she's told that Harvey said she swore she'd never have a party.
03:40Sabrina finds out about this indirectly,
03:43and everyone in the cafeteria gets excited right away.
03:46And at least Valerie explains that she didn't plan to have the party at her own house,
03:50because her parents would dance.
03:53Sabrina says she'd only be able to have the party if she asks her aunts first,
03:56and surprisingly both of them agree,
03:59because it sounds like fun to have a mortal party for once.
04:03Zelda's so out of character in the show, I'm surprised they got her in character.
04:08Harvey calls Sabrina and says he has to take his brother trick-or-treating so he can't go.
04:13Sabrina hears people talk,
04:15and ends up finding out the furniture is arguing with each other.
04:18Why would anyone make talking furniture?
04:21I guess it's for lonely people.
04:23Why did they have to disappoint Sabrina like that?
04:27Zelda says they bought it by accident.
04:30Well, I do know how it feels to buy the wrong thing by accident.
04:33I guess they only put the words,
04:35that talks,
04:36at the end of the title of the furniture.
04:38And they're so used to seeing irrelevant words at the ends of titles for stuff they're trying to buy,
04:44that they got used to not reading the whole title.
04:47That's how it is on eBay.
04:49Sabrina naturally asks if they're people who got turned into furniture and gets told no,
04:55and Salem asks where she got an idea like that,
04:57and I laughed a little.
04:59It's impossible to warp the furniture away because they were put in a credit card
05:03and haven't been officially paid off yet.
05:06That doesn't make any sense.
05:08Why would the company not want people to be able to return stuff to them right away
05:13they don't want so that they could sell it to someone who actually wants them?
05:17Why would they think people are so unlikely to pay for their wares
05:21they have to do this to get paid for them
05:23because most people just want to return them?
05:26Like, why are they so worried about people returning stuff
05:30so that they don't get to make money off it?
05:33Again, the only witches who would ever pay for stuff
05:36are people who think you have to pay for stuff because it's the right thing to do.
05:40If their idea is
05:42they have to keep the furniture long enough
05:45that their impulse to send it back would fade
05:48and so they decide to buy it anyways.
05:51Or they could just
05:52send it back
05:54and then zap up an exact copy of the furniture.
05:58Why did the ants act like there's nothing they can do about this right now
06:01instead of one of them creating stuff that could get them onto wagons
06:04to bring them somewhere else?
06:07Couldn't they zap up an anti-gravity gun to float them away?
06:11This wouldn't be as annoying if the story explained
06:13why they sell talking furniture in a place where you could buy them by accident.
06:16The ants plan to go to the store to return the furniture.
06:21Sabrina's relatively too creeped out to sit on them
06:24and the ants can't do what they want
06:25because the stores are all closed on Halloween
06:28which they somehow forgot
06:29after centuries.
06:32Eventually, Zelda says she'll take the furniture to the basement.
06:36Hilda says she once took a Viking there
06:38and she doesn't remember if she ever let him go.
06:41That's pretty crazy.
06:43Especially since
06:44why would they have had the house
06:47back when Vikings were still a thing?
06:50Because America is a really young country
06:53so this house
06:55wouldn't have existed back then
06:57in the exact same form it is now
06:59because
07:00the pilgrims coming there
07:01would be pretty suspicious
07:02at seeing a house
07:04just there.
07:06Pretty soon, the armchair screams
07:08to get them off me
07:09and it turns out
07:10the furniture is infected
07:11with other realm termites
07:13that look like humans
07:14under a magnifying glass.
07:17Why did Valerie think
07:18it was a good idea
07:19to go to a party
07:20teenagers would be at
07:21wearing an animal costume?
07:24Well, I already know
07:25the answer to that.
07:26Also, she must not have watched
07:28any TV
07:29or she would have known better.
07:31She would have known
07:32that by this point
07:34in the 90s
07:35costume parties
07:36weren't in style
07:37among teenagers
07:38yet.
07:41She calls Sabrina
07:41a good friend.
07:43Why did I have to see
07:44an old lady
07:45hit Harvey?
07:47It wasn't his fault
07:48the kids took all the candy
07:49from her
07:49which she should have
07:50expected to happen.
07:52That contributed
07:53nothing to the plot.
07:55For one,
07:56Salem shows some
07:57real evilness
07:58like makes him unique
07:59by threatening to cut
08:01the furniture
08:01to scare them.
08:03Because if you're going to
08:04have Salem be especially evil
08:05make use of it.
08:07Zelda says she's just
08:08working on her triceps
08:09because she's been caught
08:10by mortals
08:11carrying furniture.
08:13Why does Sabrina
08:14think she has to ask
08:15Valerie what's the matter?
08:17Of course she's upset
08:18she's the only person
08:19in the costume.
08:21She lampshades
08:21how stupid
08:22Sabrina was
08:23and also asks
08:24why she had to
08:25have the party.
08:26That was
08:27Valerie's fault.
08:29Not like she gets
08:30called out on it.
08:32Valerie asks
08:33why she didn't
08:34take her brother's
08:34teasing seriously.
08:36So it's at least
08:37a dress that someone
08:38would have warned her
08:39not to do this.
08:41I have to see Harvey
08:42get eggs thrown at him
08:43for no reason.
08:45There's no reason
08:46I hate Harvey
08:47in the show.
08:48Just be bored by him.
08:50Sabrina uses magic
08:51to turn on nice music
08:53for people
08:53because one of them
08:55complained about
08:56the music playing
08:57on the stereo
08:57because it wasn't
08:59dance music I guess.
09:01And so the music
09:01changes.
09:03And Hilda advises
09:04Sabrina to really
09:05give people
09:06a bunch of candy corn.
09:08Zelda's gonna give
09:09to the termites
09:09a chair that
09:10Sabrina's grandma
09:11gave to her
09:12or something.
09:13Why doesn't she
09:14just zap off
09:15a bunch of wood
09:16to feed them
09:17instead of sacrificing
09:18furniture that
09:18Sabrina might
09:19care about?
09:20If both ants
09:21are out of magic
09:22somehow
09:23why don't they
09:23just tell
09:24Sabrina to do it?
09:26It turns out
09:27Hilda accidentally
09:28made too much
09:29candy corn
09:30with her cauldron.
09:31She tried to
09:32double the recipe
09:33and accidentally
09:33squared it.
09:35Well at least
09:36it's creative
09:36and endearing
09:37that there's a
09:38candy corn
09:39recipe for
09:40a potion.
09:42Somehow trying
09:42to zap it away
09:43didn't work.
09:45That's insane.
09:47It's supposed
09:47to be normal
09:48candy corn
09:49unless it's got
09:50a magic spell
09:51on it
09:51and it won't
09:52turn out
09:53like that.
09:54So that's not it.
09:56It doesn't make
09:57any sense.
09:58Hilda cleverly
09:59lies to Valerie
10:00that the doorbell
10:01from their linen
10:02closet was
10:03wind chimes.
10:05Some monsters
10:06try to sing
10:06carols to Hilda
10:08and they're
10:08going to take
10:08a long time.
10:11Why is this
10:11a yearly tradition
10:12when last Halloween
10:13the tradition
10:14was that everyone
10:15had to go to
10:15their family reunion
10:16so they wouldn't
10:17be here to listen
10:18to carols?
10:20I guess
10:20most witches
10:21decided to
10:22abandon the tradition
10:24or the carolers
10:25only show up
10:26hoping that
10:28the witches
10:28they go to
10:30won't have
10:31a family
10:32somehow
10:32to go to
10:34even though
10:35they've lived
10:35for centuries
10:36so that's
10:37very unlikely.
10:39Wasn't anyone
10:40dancing at the party
10:41to the dance music?
10:43This is blatantly
10:44forced.
10:46The quiz master
10:47shows up at the door.
10:49He tells her
10:49to make him a pumpkin
10:50and she somehow
10:51thinks he has to
10:52be turned into it.
10:54He acts like
10:54she didn't do
10:55what she was
10:56supposed to
10:56even though
10:57technically
10:57she did
10:58zap up a pumpkin.
11:00As it turns out
11:01she's not going to
11:02be punished
11:03for failing the test
11:04so he must have
11:06figured that out.
11:08Hilda has to
11:08bring some carolers
11:09to the candy car
11:10to shut them up.
11:12It is better
11:13than wasting magic
11:14on zapping some up.
11:16Why didn't Valerie
11:16wear normal clothes
11:18under the duck costume?
11:20She wouldn't have
11:20been still wearing this.
11:22Sabrina zaps up
11:25a magnifying glass
11:26to see more termites.
11:28Good thing
11:29no one was watching.
11:31The cool kids
11:32plan to go
11:32to Libby's party
11:33because there's
11:34a DJ there.
11:35Why did they
11:36show up late
11:36anyway?
11:38Valerie says
11:39they don't need
11:40music to dance.
11:41I don't understand.
11:44Why wouldn't she
11:45have zapped up
11:45music they'd be
11:46guaranteed to dance to?
11:48Why didn't she
11:49zap up a CD player
11:50to play some music
11:51to make them dance?
11:52Valerie falls
11:53through the floor
11:54but conveniently
11:55is fine because
11:56the feathers broke
11:57her fall.
11:58Which is bullshit.
12:00At the momentum
12:01she'd fall
12:02the sudden stop
12:03would still hurt.
12:05Like from colliding
12:06with the hard floor.
12:08The costume
12:08wasn't that much
12:10thicker compared
12:10to her body.
12:12It'd make more sense
12:13if Sabrina healed her
12:14and so she only
12:15thinks she didn't
12:16get hurt.
12:18She can use magic
12:19just by making a wish
12:20in the pilot after all.
12:21She might have
12:22made a hand gesture
12:23that happened to
12:24register as healing
12:25her by accident.
12:27And the thought
12:28of the termites
12:29causing that
12:30makes all the
12:31furniture freak out
12:32I guess because
12:33they want to get
12:34out of the room
12:34to avoid falling
12:35to their deaths.
12:37Then there's a
12:37waterfall of candy
12:38corn filling the room
12:39and the teens
12:40are just impressed
12:41and Sabrina's
12:43asked how she
12:43managed to rig
12:44all of this
12:45Halloween stuff
12:46for them so fast.
12:47And I guess
12:49they just assumed
12:50that her being
12:51scared and saying
12:53and I can explain
12:54that and that's
12:56because it's because
12:58it was all part
12:58of the act
12:59to enhance
13:01the scariness
13:01of the situation.
13:03Why does he assume
13:04Sabrina did this
13:05without any help?
13:06She's just a teenager.
13:08Since none of them
13:09believe in witches
13:10it makes sense
13:11that they'd rather
13:11assume this is because
13:12of technology
13:13they didn't know
13:14about than assume
13:15it's the obvious
13:16magic it is.
13:18Because Sabrina
13:19says no one
13:20knows this is real
13:21stating the obvious
13:22well right in front
13:23of people who
13:24would be able
13:24to hear her
13:25like a moron
13:26Salem demands
13:28for them to
13:28worship him
13:29and someone just
13:31asks them to say
13:32something else
13:32and gets called
13:33a loser instead.
13:35I guess he thought
13:36Salem was an
13:37animatronic.
13:39Harvey made it
13:39to the party
13:40after all.
13:42Sabrina stops
13:42Salem from singing.
13:44Well last time
13:45he had a hair bowl
13:46so of course.
13:48She stops
13:48up a band
13:49which has
13:50some beautiful
13:50singing.
13:52Sabrina finds
13:52out the quiz
13:53master only came
13:54here because
13:54his family's
13:55on the other
13:55side of the realm
13:56and he's lonely.
13:58Why didn't
13:59he warp to them?
14:00He was able
14:01to warp to her
14:02house.
14:03I have to assume
14:04it's because
14:04they hate him.
14:06Sabrina calls
14:06him out on
14:07further stressing
14:08her out by
14:08making her do
14:09a quiz she
14:10didn't need
14:10to for no
14:11reason.
14:12I don't
14:13understand
14:13why they're
14:14trying to
14:14make us
14:14sympathize
14:14with this
14:15asshole
14:15by making
14:17him lonely.
14:19And Sabrina
14:19gets to rub it
14:20in Libby's
14:21face that she
14:21got the band
14:22zapped up
14:22here.
14:24I'm forced
14:24to assume
14:25the reason
14:25the band
14:26isn't scared
14:27and asking
14:27what's going
14:27on is that
14:28part of the
14:29spell is that
14:29they start
14:30singing and
14:30playing without
14:31questioning
14:32this.
14:33This story
14:34by Frank
14:34Kniff
14:35was about
14:36Sabrina
14:36having to
14:36have a
14:37Halloween
14:37party at
14:38her house
14:38because
14:39Valerie
14:39wanted to
14:40make her
14:40popular by
14:41lying that
14:41she was going
14:42to do
14:42that.
14:43But it
14:43worked out
14:44and at least
14:44she had good
14:44intentions this
14:45time so it
14:46won't hold it
14:47against her.
14:48The ants
14:48accidentally
14:49ordered talking
14:50furniture that's
14:51arbitrarily made
14:52impossible to use
14:53magic against
14:53until it's
14:54paid off.
14:56But they just
14:56end up
14:56contributing to
14:57the party
14:58really kicking
14:59off with a
14:59bang.
15:00Why did
15:01nobody dance
15:01at the party
15:02until that
15:03point?
15:04There was one
15:05point where
15:05someone commented
15:06on the music
15:07being played
15:07in the stereo
15:08that wasn't
15:09dance music
15:10and Sabrina's
15:11magic and the
15:12music changed
15:13so it doesn't
15:14make sense
15:14that after that
15:15someone talked
15:16as if there
15:16wasn't any
15:17music and this
15:18didn't result
15:19in everyone
15:19dancing.
15:21It was an
15:21annoying episode
15:22because the
15:23entire time
15:24it was completely
15:24forced that
15:25she had a
15:26boring party
15:27and she was
15:27stressed out
15:28the whole time
15:29because she
15:30can literally
15:30do anything
15:31to spice it
15:32up.
15:33She kind
15:33of brainwashed
15:34those people
15:35into having
15:35fun with it
15:36but it was
15:37constantly
15:38engaging
15:38to watch
15:39and I really
15:41loved that
15:41when magical
15:42stuff happened
15:43around the
15:43mortals
15:44they loved
15:44it and assumed
15:45it was special
15:46effects.
15:47It's one of the
15:47most memorable
15:48moments in the
15:49show.
15:50And it's a nice
15:51surprise that they
15:51didn't go the
15:52predictable route
15:53of having Sabrina's
15:54family members
15:54show up at the
15:55party anyways
15:56despite Zelda
15:56telling them
15:57she couldn't
15:58make it
15:58because it
15:59really seemed
16:00to me like
16:01that was gonna
16:01happen because
16:02it seemed too
16:03good to be
16:03true.
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