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00:00I've always kept everything of all my kids, which seems a bit silly, but I can't throw it away.
00:22And I'm so pleased that I have, because this is Carrie now for me.
00:27They're just things, like, when she was born, that's how big she was.
00:35That fitted her.
00:37And it shows she didn't grow very much, because that was her size shoe at the end, size two.
00:43I had really, really, really thin legs, and I was really self-conscious of them.
00:47I used to wear five pairs of tights.
00:49Boys used to call me lucky legs.
00:51Lucky legs?
00:52Lucky they don't break.
00:53Carrie and Jodie, Jodie's her twin.
00:56They were never far apart.
00:57I love that video.
01:01It's one of the nicest evenings that the three of us had...
01:04The three of us had had.
01:10As a parent, we think our children are always going to be there.
01:16You'll be able to talk to them tomorrow.
01:18You'll be able to say things to them tomorrow.
01:19But you can't always.
01:24And just to remember the happy times, it's a reminder that you don't take anything for granted.
01:32Bye-bye.
01:34Don't take your children for granted.
01:36You know, I knew enough about Caroline that I should have seen this coming.
01:53Her vulnerability.
01:56I protected her when she was alive, as best I could.
02:05And what I'm doing now is protecting her in a different way.
02:14I want the real Caroline to be remembered, not this Caroline that was portrayed in the press.
02:22Love Island presenter, Caroline Flack, has appeared in court and pleaded not guilty to assaulting her boyfriend.
02:38The presenter was released on conditional bail before her trial on March the 4th.
02:44After the court, the press were relentless.
02:48We were being followed everywhere.
02:51At one point, I got out of the car to try and stop the paps following us.
02:57And a pap basically just ran me.
03:00Like, he just carried on driving, and I was, like, pushing his car.
03:02From that moment, it felt like she was on the run.
03:05After the hearing, I couldn't communicate with Caroline.
03:09She was on social media, looking at what the public was saying.
03:25Social media was really tough on Caroline, but then after the court hearing, she was all over the news.
03:31We just couldn't believe it.
03:33It was absolutely everywhere.
03:35All the major TV channels were reporting the prosecution's version of events, which just wasn't accurate.
03:46It's strange being back.
03:49This was just packed with press, and everybody's screaming and shouting at Carrie, and this was a really dark day.
03:57But we didn't realize how much the rest of her life was set that day.
04:06The statement given by the prosecutor set the tone for the next two months.
04:11Exactly what information the prosecution was being fed by the police, but a lot of what she said in court was wrong in so many ways.
04:28I've spent years getting various documents that tell a different story of what happened that night.
04:35I've been able to cross-reference the police reports on the night when Carrie was arrested with a statement the prosecutor made.
04:45So where is this all about a lamp that haunts us?
04:50Where did that come from?
04:52Now it's alleged that she hit him over the head with a lamp.
04:55She picked up a lamp and smashed him over the head.
04:57Almost caved his head in.
04:59With a lamp.
05:00The lamp.
05:00The prosecutor says he, Burton, said he had been asleep and had been hit over the head by Caroline with a lamp.
05:08But then, looking at the report written on the night by the police, it says it's unclear what object was actually used to assault Mr. Burton.
05:19He initially stated to officers that he assumed it was a desk fan or a lamp.
05:25Mr. Burton stated, I don't know what it was.
05:29There was no compelling or direct evidence that anyone had been hit with a lamp.
05:36During Caroline's interview under caution, Caroline's position always was that she had the phone in her hand, she went to rouse him and wake him, and the phone connected with him.
05:45It couldn't have been more clear to anyone that read that transcript.
05:49The police report says, Ms. Flack's phone has been seized as it has a significant amount of blood on it and a crack on one of the corners, suggesting this may have been the weapon.
06:00Wow.
06:01So it's actually in there that they thought it was a phone.
06:05Yeah.
06:06Nothing else was taken from that flat at all.
06:09You would think the weapon would have been seized.
06:13The lamp is just sat back at the property, not being touched, is never examined.
06:17We know that the evidence was the phone.
06:21Somebody made a decision to leave that out.
06:26I mean, I was sitting with Lewis back there and he couldn't believe what was being said.
06:32He actually took to Instagram and he said,
06:35You know, this is Carrie's life here, they're the things that get into the press and they're the things that she was going to be tried on.
06:51This is evidence that a prosecutor can bloody stand up and say about someone.
06:58Yeah.
06:59I think it's disgusting.
07:00But the damage was done.
07:03Carrie knew that people would be thinking about like that.
07:06For the rest of her life.
07:07Yeah.
07:08Forever.
07:09Yeah.
07:10She couldn't lose that.
07:11No, she'd never lose that tag.
07:12She hasn't lost it, even though she's dead.
07:15Caroline was in a bad place.
07:26She'd been in a spiral since her arrest.
07:29On Christmas Eve, we wanted to take her out.
07:32We took her Christmas shopping.
07:34And bearing in mind, she hadn't been out.
07:37So from the day she was arrested to Christmas Eve, I don't know how long that was, maybe two weeks.
07:41She hadn't left a hotel room.
07:43And we were really confident that nobody was following us.
07:48And then we realized she was papped.
07:52And they wrote in the papers how she was beaming and joking.
08:09I think people would have thought she didn't have a care in the world.
08:14What nobody knows when they see these pictures in isolation is that she had been on suicide watch for two weeks.
08:27And we were trying to give her something normal to do.
08:31She wasn't laughing it off.
08:32If I'd seen her laugh or smile in that two weeks, I was like, thank God.
08:36Maybe she won't die today.
08:38Maybe we can leave her for half an hour.
08:41Maybe there is a way out of this.
08:43Caroline thought she had no control.
08:58Lies were being told about her all the time.
09:02So Caroline was desperate to tell her side of the story.
09:07You know, get some truth out there.
09:10And even if she couldn't speak out, her agents may speak out on her behalf.
09:16Say something.
09:19But she kept being told complete shutdown.
09:22Don't do anything.
09:24I want to ask her agent, why?
09:28Why was she silenced?
09:30Hello.
09:31Long time no see.
09:32Hello.
09:33Hello.
09:34Hello.
09:35All right, thank you.
09:36How are you?
09:37Good.
09:38All right.
09:39Are you okay?
09:40It's been since the funeral.
09:41I know.
09:42I know.
09:43Long time.
09:44Yeah.
09:45What?
09:46During the whole time Carrie was going home.
09:49I know.
09:50I know.
09:51Long time.
09:52Yeah.
09:53What?
09:54During the whole time Carrie was going home.
09:59She was advised to just stay silent.
10:02I know that Carrie thought a lot of you and you were close.
10:06How did you manage that?
10:08So I think at first we just thought it was a misunderstanding.
10:13Everything was going to be fine.
10:15So we sort of didn't say anything.
10:17Just told everyone to wait out.
10:19Later on when it was coming to the press or comments,
10:22everything we checked with our lawyers.
10:25Because if she'd said something, those words could have been catastrophic in court.
10:31And they'll be regurgitated in the press over and over again.
10:35So, yes, she wanted to have her voice.
10:40But it was silence's safest, really.
10:45I understand that.
10:47If she could have, you know, gone against the story, it would have gone some way to making it better for her.
10:56We knew what the truth was.
10:59Mm.
11:00You knew.
11:01But the newspapers, you can tell them till you're blue in the face.
11:06At this point, Caroline was worth more to them in print to be the villain than the hero that she was six months ago when she was hosting Love Island.
11:13You were no longer really managing the newspapers as such.
11:19It's uncontrollable at times.
11:21Yeah.
11:22You're dancing with the devil.
11:25Before she was arrested, Caroline was very good, actually.
11:29She knew, acutely, what the right response was a lot of the time.
11:37They were going to print a story about one of her boyfriends.
11:41It wasn't a very nice story.
11:43Caroline contacted the journalist directly and said,
11:46can we give them a nice story and exclusive so they make another story go away?
11:50But isn't that awful?
11:52Isn't that an awful way to have to live, to have to do that?
11:56To give information about something so that the bad information won't come out?
12:01Yeah.
12:02You know, we saw the tide turn on her.
12:05We just became completely powerless.
12:10It just makes me sad and it makes me mad that something as thoughtful as this going on in Caroline's life,
12:20she becomes not a person to the press.
12:24She's sort of expendable.
12:26A headline for 45p is what that is.
12:29Yeah.
12:30That's what it comes down to, isn't it?
12:31Yeah.
12:35Every time you put Caroline Flack in the newspapers, they sold.
12:40And on the front page, a lot more.
12:43She was the golden girl who delivered for so many years.
12:45And ironically, delivering even more in the worst period of her life.
12:52An editor rang me up and said, listen, would she do a big interview about it?
12:58And I said, well, I very much doubt it because it's still in the hands of the police and the prosecution.
13:02And he said, well, in that case, go and fuck her over.
13:05To hear that kind of, like, coming and you know what's coming before they do, you're like, Jesus Christ.
13:12Over that Christmas, Carrie seemed to be coping.
13:27And then on January the 1st, this was the headlines.
13:33Flax bedroom bloodbath.
13:38And it was a complete and utter shock.
13:42The way this story reads is that Caroline had hit her boyfriend with a lamp.
13:50And that was his blood.
13:54And that is so far from the truth.
13:59That was Caroline's blood, where she'd cut her wrists.
14:06Caroline reacted terribly because of the embarrassment.
14:15It was embarrassment.
14:17This was her blood.
14:20It was her blood.
14:23Obviously, we wondered who took that picture and who gave it to the Sun.
14:28We were told at the beginning that it was actually a police officer, but it wasn't.
14:34Lewis admitted that he took that photo and sent it to one of his friends.
14:38And then one of his friends sold the picture without any information, without any backup, to the Sun newspaper.
14:50Once this came out, I don't think anyone thought of anything else then, that she was guilty.
14:56She was tried in the Sun newspaper and found guilty.
14:58She was tried in the Sun newspaper and found guilty.
15:15Until something's written about your own family or friends, you don't realise how bad the press are.
15:32Lizzie, my oldest daughter, was ten years older than Caroline.
15:38She was very protective.
15:40And she always took to heart what was written in the press.
15:46And it's always affected her.
15:49Are you all right, come?
15:51Mm-hmm.
15:52Oh, I'm obviously new.
15:55Because I'm not hearing Carrie's story because she's locked herself away out of shame,
16:00the only side I had was in the press.
16:04And my instant reaction was, if she did that, then she needs to be punished.
16:12If I have got any facts because I'm not there, all I'm hearing is this.
16:18Mm.
16:19It affected the way I thought about my sister, the way that she felt that she could come to me for support.
16:30And she never could even just say, I didn't do it.
16:35She didn't even feel that I would believe her.
16:39Because she, you, you think, but it's in black and white, so people are going to listen much more to that than what I say.
16:47And that's to her sister.
16:48Mm.
16:50And that's what these lives do, how deep they go and how deeply they affect relationships.
16:56I let her down by not being there, by not finding out how she felt more.
17:01And I can never change anything.
17:10Every single person that was there, that let that go to print, should be ashamed of themselves.
17:16Because as far as I'm concerned, that is one of the main reasons why she isn't here today.
17:31Oh, hi there. My name's Chris Flack. And this is being recorded, this message, for a film that may go out with Disney.
17:49What I'm after today is if you could put me through to, sorry, are you all right?
17:56Oh, I thought you sighed. Sorry.
17:58I wonder if you could put me through to Victor, Victoria Newton.
18:02Yes. So this could be recorded for your Disney documentary.
18:06Yes.
18:07Hold on a second.
18:08Hold on a second.
18:10Victoria Newton is the editor of The Sun.
18:15She said to me, I've come into The Sun to clean this paper up.
18:20So I'd like a front page apology, as large as they put the photo of her blood on the bed.
18:29I've been on hold for four minutes.
18:32Well, this is eight minutes now.
18:35No one's even come back to say, yeah, sorry for keeping you waiting.
18:39We're trying to find Victoria.
18:41I'd love to just say, what have you put in place?
18:45What have you done to stop this happening?
18:48Eleven minutes now.
18:50Must be a busy news day.
18:52Hello, mate.
18:54Hello.
18:55Oh, sorry. I thought this was Andy. Hang on.
18:59Cut me off.
19:02I don't believe it.
19:04The way the press covered this story was one of the worst things at the time.
19:17I want to speak to a journalist to find out how something so misleading can appear on the front page of a national newspaper.
19:28So, Paul, part of this process, I've contacted 30 journalists, but not one of them will talk to me.
19:38Why do you think that is?
19:40I think it's a mixture of shame, fear.
19:47I think they've probably been ordered not to.
19:50Really?
19:51By their, by their editors.
19:53Hmm.
19:54So, what I want to know is who would be responsible for the picture of Carrie's blood going in the Sun newspaper?
20:02I've been in newsrooms and they've rang up and said, how much will you give me for this picture or this story?
20:07Yeah.
20:08So, in my experience, the news editor will say, how much do you want?
20:12He will then go into the editor and his senior journalist.
20:16So that's really gone up to a very senior level.
20:19Usually it comes in your conference because you have conference every morning and that's what your front page is going to be.
20:23Yeah, that's what I thought.
20:25From experience, that would have gone through three lawyers.
20:29It would go through lawyers.
20:31It would go through three lawyers.
20:32The editor, the news editor, conference where you have plenty of very intelligent journalists
20:38who are very able to speak for themselves in all newspapers.
20:40Yeah.
20:41Debating whether or not they should use it.
20:43In my experience, that decision would have been backed and probably salivated on all day
20:50as soon as they got that picture by everybody in that newsroom.
20:53It was gory.
20:54It was macabre.
20:55It was sinister.
20:56You know, she was deranged.
20:58She wasn't.
20:59Right?
21:00But they don't think that way.
21:01They think this is such compelling is the way they see that.
21:06And graphic, gory demise.
21:10If they'd gone through all those checks with their lawyers, they didn't confirm with anybody
21:18that it was her boyfriend's blood, which it was portrayed as.
21:23Nobody.
21:24Her agent didn't get a call.
21:25You didn't get a call.
21:26Nobody got a call.
21:27No.
21:28Quite often, when a story is so good, if there's any chance at all you could say something that
21:35could even have brought that story down 10%, less drama and less, you know, shock factor,
21:41and you've got just enough that it can be true, in my opinion, they'd be like,
21:47don't call because that would get in the way of the story.
21:51This is, I can't even get this, I can't even, it's even worse than I thought.
21:57How do you look at that?
21:59You're a journalist.
22:00Yeah.
22:01So where does the journalism come in and the interest of Caroline or the readers?
22:08What does the truth matter?
22:11It does to some journalists and it should do to every journalist, but in my experience,
22:16it's really just about who's got the best front page the next day.
22:20So do you think there was ever a discussion what effect it would have on her?
22:29In my view, being honest with you, probably not.
22:37I doubt anyone said, is this the right thing to do?
22:42Really?
22:43You'll never be judged on a story that ruins somebody's life.
22:46You will never pay a price for that.
22:48So all the times, all the interviews, all the things that, you know, go on with the press, like on a personal level, it just means nothing.
22:58It, it was like she was betrayed on every part.
23:04Why take the photo?
23:06Why sell it?
23:07Why print it?
23:09Everything that happened like that was making it more and more clear there was no way out of it.
23:15We couldn't stop the effect it was having on Carrie and that's what was hard for us.
23:24Yes, we're back and we're bigger than ever.
23:44Say hello to Laura Whitmore.
23:46Love Island was a massive thing for Caroline.
23:51Laura taking over brought up every single insecurity.
23:57We weren't allowed to watch it, then she wanted to watch it, so we'd sit and watch it together.
24:01This is incredible. Look at this. Look at the view.
24:04And then every day she'd ask me for the numbers, how many viewers, how many viewers.
24:08Shall we have a little chat? Shall we?
24:09Yeah.
24:17That constant turmoil killed Caroline.
24:20So girls, how are you feeling?
24:21Good.
24:22She felt like she was being airbrushed out of the show.
24:25She said, I know that I'm gone. I know that I'm done. This is it.
24:28She just saw the crumbling of everything she felt.
24:34She couldn't go back to her house.
24:48You know, the place that she'd lived and bought with her own money.
24:51There were people kind of camped outside.
24:54So we decided that she needed to move.
25:04Everything was so, like, cloak and dagger because the fear of being caught or people knowing where she was was so scary that all of this had to happen in the middle of the night.
25:16She had to move out at three o'clock in the morning.
25:18But luckily, Jodie knew of a removal company that would do that. And they were lovely.
25:23They moved almost everything she owned into, like, a gated apartment that actually nobody ever found out where she was.
25:31I think that gave her a sense of normality.
25:35Maybe we'll just pop out and buy some sheets and stuff on Church Street or just buy some, like, nice little things.
25:41It's a little cosy.
25:44But this flat was just... there was something about it.
25:48It was number 13.
25:49It was number 13.
25:50And opposite her was this park, which is sort of a cemetery.
25:55And one of the headstones was Caroline Flack.
26:00Things like that would play on Carrie's mind.
26:03She phoned me and said about it.
26:05And I said, oh, Carrie, don't be, you know, just don't...
26:09There's nothing like that.
26:10But it was strange.
26:12When she realized that nobody knew where she was, she started going out for walks with Ruby the dog.
26:28She wasn't drinking at this point.
26:30I'm on Church Street now.
26:31Just take Ruby for a walk.
26:33Text me.
26:34I can meet you at home and go for a nice dinner somewhere or a soft drink.
26:38Jesus, I'm so boring.
26:39What I wouldn't do for Class Y.
26:42We went rock climbing and we had the most amazing evening.
26:47Nobody came up to us.
26:48Nobody spoke to us.
26:49She said to me, I'm gonna be okay.
26:52Oh, my God, I've had an idea.
26:58Like, I think I should make a documentary about all of this.
27:03I could tell that she was getting stronger because she was talking about doing a documentary.
27:08She was saying, I just really want to get out, like, what's happened on my side of everything.
27:13And so it felt like she was turning a corner.
27:18And, you know, we felt that, actually, the case was going to be dropped.
27:25She was hoping and pinning everything on common sense finally prevailing and coming to light.
27:33Caroline and her legal team were hoping that the CPS would review all the evidence and conclude there was no public interest and drop the case.
27:45In this case, yes, the complainant withdrew his support for the prosecution, but undoubtedly they felt they had enough.
27:55They had, I think, a 999 call recording.
27:57They had body-worn camera, warm-weather police, and they have to take domestic abuse seriously,
28:02because we as a country have said we should take domestic abuse seriously.
28:06Nazir Afzal is a former chief prosecutor who defended the CPS's decision to prosecute Caroline.
28:15I've given him access to the documents from my investigation.
28:19He still believes the CPS were doing the right thing.
28:25You did an interview believing that the CPS were right to charge.
28:31Yeah.
28:32And I just wondered, now, having looked more at the case, why you think they were right to charge.
28:39So I need to explain how a prosecutor does his work.
28:42A prosecutor doesn't do their work in isolation.
28:44It relies upon what the police provide them with.
28:47Yeah.
28:48So if the police tell them serious injury, blood is everywhere, and we are really concerned that it might be repeated,
28:56I can see how a prosecutor might come to a conclusion that we need to put this before a court.
29:02You have to accept the police are telling you the truth, otherwise the whole system collapses, isn't it?
29:07That said, having looked at all your evidence, I can't understand why they rushed to judgment.
29:14This was a case where there's no previous history, where there is no controlling or coercive, powerful dynamic.
29:22Mr. Burton never ever wanted this case.
29:24No.
29:25It was adamant this case should not be prosecuted.
29:27It wasn't just reluctant, adamant.
29:29This was a one-off situation where she lost her temper, whatever the reason was, and she did what she did, which she accepts.
29:38For all of those reasons, the very worst thing that should have happened is a caution.
29:42Um, yeah.
29:43It's difficult.
29:44After, you know, hearing you say that, in one way it's like...
29:57Vindication?
29:58Vindication?
29:59It is.
30:00It's vindication for all the work I've done.
30:02Yeah.
30:03But it actually makes it a lot harder.
30:05I totally understand it.
30:07Uh, I have, you know, prosecuted thousands of these cases.
30:10Knowing what I know now, none of it makes sense, Christine.
30:14No.
30:15Absolutely none of it makes sense.
30:16You know, almost immediately, in the cold light of day, prosecutors looking at this case would have formed the view this case is going nowhere.
30:24Um, and they should have stopped the case.
30:27In fact, they're, they're required to stop the case, uh, where there is insufficient evidence, where it's not in the public interest to proceed.
30:36And I can't think of any reason to proceed, other than being scared of what the media were going to say about them.
30:41But, you know, it's not about you losing face.
30:46This is about justice.
30:48My take on it is that Caroline would still be with us if certain decisions weren't taken back in that month or two.
30:57I'll just let her have a little fee.
31:12How do I do it? I had to do it on that.
31:15No, you just do this and you go.
31:17I said it.
31:18Um, I'm just waiting for the call today, um, for, and then explain what it is.
31:23So you, so you, so you talk about it, uh, you have to explain what it is for her.
31:28Well, today we, today is the cutoff point. That's what we, that's what we're waiting for.
31:33What's the cutoff of what?
31:34Find out whether it's going to court or not.
31:37Oh, right.
31:39It was such a shock that they didn't just drop the case.
32:00This case was prosecuted because, in my view, it would have been more difficult to stop the snowball rolling than it would be to just let it continue.
32:14Saving face, I think adequately describes the stance that I think was taken.
32:21Because she had pleaded not guilty, it meant she would face trial.
32:27And the police footage that was filmed that night would be played in court as evidence.
32:41Throughout this whole thing, Caroline's worst nightmare was that the body cam footage was going to be released.
32:45It wasn't because she was scared of what she'd done to Lewis.
32:49She was scared because she looks completely and utterly unhinged in this body cam footage because she had tried to kill herself.
32:59This was a snapshot into her private life at its worst.
33:04She was covered in blood. She was half naked. She was in a really dark place.
33:10It showed her mental health, if you like.
33:13She knew it wasn't going to make her guilty of abuse, but it was going to show her to the outside world how she sometimes felt.
33:25She kept saying to me, I just can't have people see the body cam footage. I can't have my family know that that's out there.
33:35And I just think she was not thinking of herself. I think she was thinking of other people, actually.
33:44Up to them!
33:46Now, on BBC News...
33:49On BBC News...
33:51Happy Valentine's Day to everyone out there, whether you're attached or single or whatever!
33:54Caroline didn't like Valentine's Day...
33:57Caroline didn't like Valentine's Day, she hated it in fact because usually that's when she'd just
34:03broken up or something was happening or you know it wasn't a big thing. She'd already been through
34:10so much then the Sun devoted an article to a Valentine's card which had gone on sale mocking
34:16Caroline. Lie about the lamp that was brought out in court by the prosecutor had been turned
34:25into a joke which the Sun had chosen to reprint sharing it to an even wider audience. It's not
34:33journalism it's bullying and it was like another nail in Carrie's coffin really. That day I went to
34:41work and I just remember thinking she's strong she's being really strong and she's saying all
34:45the right things and then I just didn't hear from her. My mum messaged me saying have you heard from
34:53her and I was like no and then she started messaging me like it was one after the other
34:57after the other like it didn't make any sense it was nonsense and I knew that it wasn't she I knew
35:03she'd been drinking and I knew I could get in to the flat so I called a friend I messaged her sister
35:12and her mum and I said I'm gonna go there there's something weird. Met my friend outside we let
35:17ourselves in and the flat was trashed it was the plant had been pulled off the shelves the telly
35:24was broken there's stuff everywhere. We couldn't rouse her at all we were really scared to call an
35:33ambulance. We were more scared of her going to hospital in a public environment because of what the
35:42press would do and getting her life saved it makes me feel sick that I thought that was our thought
35:49process. We called an ambulance and I just know that the paramedics came and she was talking gibberish
36:00and I was begging them to take her and they were saying she doesn't want to go and I was like but
36:03she's saying that she's on the streets of India but in the end they didn't take her.
36:13When she woke up she was furious that we'd called the paramedics and she said to me you will never
36:21ever know what it's like to be me I am in so much pain and she just was it was like she was speaking
36:31but she wasn't there she wasn't she wasn't there um
36:45On the morning they were there her friends were there but
36:50Gary had said oh you can leave you can leave and she said Jodie will be here soon
36:55We left at about 10.
37:09When her sister and two others got to Carrie's the door was locked well Carrie never does she
37:16just doesn't you know the door would be open everything would be and she just knew there was
37:21something wrong. They could hear Ruby barking from the inside and I was saying she would never
37:26leave Ruby if she's gone out I was like she'll be there she'll be asleep the landlord had come
37:32And I got in and um yeah Jodie found her
37:36and um yeah she couldn't do anything she tried but she couldn't do anything so she phoned me
37:41And then when I got there there was people milling about outside
37:49and I went into the room I went to touch her and the police wouldn't let me
37:59I got there and she was dead
38:01Um everybody was quiet it was really quiet
38:10Ruby was just walking around in the flat
38:16I just come I didn't understand like what was going on
38:23Somebody called me and I answered the phone he said hi my name's Jodie I'm the head of something at BBC
38:29Is it true that Caroline Flack's dead and I just couldn't I like through my phone
38:33I remember being like oh my god I couldn't believe that I was standing with her body and
38:40that somebody was calling me to fact check that she was dead
38:44Good evening welcome to BBC news Caroline Flack the former ITV
38:48Love Island host has been found dead in her London flat
38:52A lawyer for her family confirmed she had taken her own life
38:55This is very shocking news of course there have been lots of questions this evening about what has happened here
39:01The feeling of how bad she must have felt to do what she did that's the thing that
39:22stays with me
39:24She was just in a place where um she saw no way out and that must be awful
39:31She couldn't see that it would have all been fine
39:35They would have got through this and I just can't imagine it
39:43She had served her sentence by then more than anyone could imagine and she had nothing left
39:50It's so weird that she's not here and it doesn't feel real and it's never felt real
40:02And I continue to message her as if she's here
40:17Anyone who knew Caroline knew she was vivacious loving and had a passion for life
40:23There was an outpouring of emotion on social media
40:30Lewis Burton shared a photo of them together on instagram with a message that said
40:35My heart is broken we had something so special i'm so lost for words i'm in so much pain
40:46After her death people were still going for her it was disgusting
41:06It's all the same lies being spread about her
41:10I do remember moments after she had died i got a phone call from an editor saying
41:19Shut down don't talk about it don't mention anything about Caroline's death any articles you've written any articles we've written
41:28It's complete shutdown
41:31The only other time
41:33that i've ever been ordered by
41:37Anyone in in a position of of power and influence in a newspaper to not talk about anything was
41:45When the mirror phone hacking was exposed and we were told
41:49Don't speak a word to anyone don't answer any questions you're talking about
41:54What probably the biggest court trial impressed british press history with a royal
42:02And caroline flax death
42:11It wasn't that long after caroline had died i met rebecca brooks head of the sun newspaper group
42:18and she said oh
42:20Everybody was crying in the newsroom when they heard and they said we could give an award in her name they have an awards night every year
42:28And we'll give an award in caroline's name
42:31It's time now to present the mental health award and to do so someone
42:36Who's experienced firsthand how devastating it can be when someone's mental health deteriorates
42:42Christine flack
42:43Of course i thought oh fabulous you know you're not even thinking
42:48The winner of the mental health award in memory of my daughter carrie is charmaine george and i'd just like to say
42:56How she did what she did because it's some some mornings it's just hard to get up and carry on
43:03But to do what she did is wonderful and she deserves this
43:09The award was given to a very nice lady that had lost her son and helped other people
43:15and
43:17Everyone there was like
43:20Someone famous and there was footballers there was david becker it was a place to be to be seen
43:28And i think what am i doing with that i'm not the celebrity it's caroline and they took that from her
43:38I felt really guilty that i'd gone along with it
43:44And you think oh why did i get involved but sometimes you have to get involved to get that realization that you're being played
43:53That's what it felt like they were doing
43:57In my opinion they're doing it so that you don't complain
44:00They're doing it just so it looked like they had my blessing
44:05I don't believe it's because they're sorry
44:08But it's how can we make this problem go away
44:10To paparazzi and tabloids looking for a cheap sell to trolls hiding behind a keyboard
44:19Enough your words affect people it was the media amplifying what social media was doing it was both strands
44:26I don't think they understand the impact that it has on somebody's mental health we have to stand together
44:34Her death cannot be in vain
44:36When caroline died her close friends just wanted some way to you know remember her
45:03And they thought about what was the thing caroline loved most
45:08She loved music she loved dancing she loved singing
45:15They put on flat stock
45:19And everybody that appears or even comes on stage to talk about knew her
45:24And i didn't know she knew so many people it affected a lot of people's lives
45:31we love you
45:38All the money we we raise
45:40goes to charities
45:43at flat stock everything is positive remembering caroline and what she stood for
45:48She was trying her best and she was making the success of her life despite all of her demons
45:59It's just a way that we can talk about carrie i just dance
46:09Caroline was the most generous and loving daughter sister and auntie losing her was unbearable
46:18But no one should have to go through what caroline went through
46:23And i've spent five years fighting to uncover the truth about what happened
46:29But what i want to stress to anyone feeling that bad
46:32That's scared and tired of life there's always a way forward
46:44You're not you're not strange if you have depression you're not strange if you've got mental
46:48health problems you're normal that's that's life and it's just helping deal with that and making
46:54you feel okay about it because that's you know you should you should just feel okay about it
47:03Perhaps that's a lesson you know it's a lesson
47:05And that's that's the legacy
47:17She was about life
47:18So sit back
47:20I just fell down a hole
47:23Soz
47:24She was about enjoying life
47:37Helping others to enjoy life
47:38It is corny when we say oh be kind
47:49But you know that's that's a small phrase but it means such
47:53Such a lot and if people lived by that
47:57Then the world would be much nicer
48:14Sometimes i'm right
48:17Sometimes i'm wrong
48:19But he doesn't care
48:21He'll string along
48:22He loves me so
48:27That funny honey of mine
48:34Sometimes i'm down
48:36Sometimes i'm up
48:38But he follows round like some droopy eyed pod
48:44He loves me so
48:46That funny honey of mine
48:52I look at the end
48:56I love it
48:57Rawr
49:22I have a friend
49:25Now if you're not
49:27...
49:29But a friend
49:30He loves me so
49:31So
49:32Thatvoir
49:32Well
49:33Oh
49:34I love you so
49:36I know
49:37I know
49:38It's not
49:40People
49:41It is not
49:42I know
49:42You
49:43It is not
49:43You
49:44I know
49:45It is not
49:46You
49:47I am
49:48You
49:48You
49:49I know
49:49You
49:49I know
49:50You
49:50I know
49:51I know
49:51You
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