Sister Wives Season 20 Episode 1

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Transcript

00:00Jasmine, I'm both in.

00:02I love Flagstaff, but it's time to do something different.

00:06I don't know how to explain this.

00:09It was never intended for me to know that Janelle was moving.

00:12Oh, I don't know. I need to find a man.

00:15Now I'm 52.

00:17But you have room for people to be in your life, too.

00:21Madison actually called Janelle, saying Dad said he didn't love you.

00:26I know, but couldn't you, like, reach out to her?

00:28All this upheaval, all this damage, all this tearing us apart.

00:33I don't know how we fix it, or when we fix it, or whether we fix it.

00:58The big family, it's just a mess.

01:10It's a painful, sad mess.

01:15There was a point where I just went, holy cow.

01:17I'm having days where I'm feeling vengeful and angry, and other days when I'm feeling benevolent and kind.

01:25And it's just become this rollercoaster for me.

01:29I'm just waking kids up, getting ready for school.

01:33Got Solomon in the shower right now.

01:35Ari gets in a half hour, or goes into school an hour after Solomon.

01:38I think things are relatively good with Janelle.

01:41Once in a blue moon, I talk to Janelle.

01:43And once, even more rare, I talk to Mary.

01:47With Mary, we really do struggle to talk.

01:49I don't blame her, but it doesn't make life easy.

01:52And then with Christine, we text a little bit about Truly, pick up times and stuff like that.

01:57But we don't talk in person at all.

02:01Instead of having an amicable, hey, you know, we're not really working out.

02:05Have a good life.

02:06See you later.

02:07It got darker and darker and worse and worse until breakup.

02:11And then, oh yeah, hey, I actually did love them.

02:19We're going to have a Tuscan white bean soup.

02:21A Tuscan?

02:22Tuscan.

02:23Because now I crave everything Tuscan.

02:25I like soup in the wintertime.

02:27I love soup.

02:28Soup is my love language.

02:29I love being married.

02:30I love being married to David.

02:32First year of marriage, they say that a lot of people fight in their first year of marriage.

02:36I think we're doing good.

02:37I'm just saying.

02:38I think that applies to young couples because they're trying to figure out each other.

02:43I think so, too.

02:43But when you're older, I just don't care about a lot of the little stuff.

02:48No.

02:49No, I don't either.

02:50Our first year was really a tough year.

02:53In some ways, we had really good stuff, but tough.

02:56It wasn't between you and I.

02:57It was a passing up garrison that was really tough.

03:01Yeah.

03:01It was really, really tough.

03:02It was a lot of emotions.

03:07I miss them every day.

03:09I bet you do.

03:10Every day.

03:11Yeah.

03:11So, it was tough to see how you guys all handle it.

03:19And there's a lot of raw emotions going on.

03:21Like, I live in Utah.

03:27Janelle lives in North Carolina.

03:29Maddie's there.

03:30A lot of my kids live in Utah, too.

03:33Gwendolyn still lives in Flagstaff.

03:35So, other than Cody, like, they're still in Flagstaff.

03:38Cody and Robin.

03:39Mary lives in Parowan.

03:40Everybody's very, very separated.

03:42So, it's been about a year and a half that I've been here at the B&B.

03:51Things are good.

03:52I like my life.

03:54I don't need you showing up looking like you just rolled out of bed.

03:57I'm trying to find you a man.

04:00I do have interaction with different members of the family at different times.

04:04I've got good relationships with some and almost non-existent with some.

04:09You know what I mean?

04:10And at this point, with Coyote Pass, it is still an ongoing situation.

04:19Cleaning up Coyote Pass is not something that Mary and Janelle are going to do.

04:23There's a lot of stuff that was left behind by Janelle that she was using for the RV.

04:28Mary and Janelle expect me to do all the cleanup on this place, but I'm not motivated to do that.

04:32Not for them, because they haven't been kind.

04:36It feels like he's trying to find any possible thing to put on me.

04:39Like, as far as responsibility with the property.

04:42You know, like, I'm just wanting to get it taken care of.

04:44I think it's his staff.

04:49All right, I'm going to do these, because, you know, I'm grandma and I can cook the fun things for the kids, right?

04:55Absolutely.

04:56That's why we love having you here.

04:58I love them.

04:58I love North Carolina.

05:01I never thought about it.

05:03It wasn't a state I ever thought about.

05:05And I love it.

05:06I have four seasons.

05:07Like, all the things I need.

05:09I've been, um...

05:10I've been trying to kind of put myself in situations where I can meet people.

05:16Some of the community events.

05:18I've been trying to take a few classes down at the coffee shop or whatever, or the cooking store.

05:23So, just trying to get my bearings.

05:27Okay, so, Coyote Pass is still a pain in my ass.

05:30It's not unsettled.

05:31No.

05:32So, you know, when I married Coyote, I really did feel a calling.

05:35I had a very strong spiritual witness that I was supposed to be married to Coyote.

05:39And I don't feel that pull anymore towards plural marriage.

05:43Like, I don't care how fast it sells.

05:45I just want it resolved.

05:46Isn't he all about fairness, though?

05:47Oh, no.

05:48But only for him.

05:49Oh, yeah.

05:49Okay, I got you.

05:51Only when it applies to Coyote Brown.

05:53That's true.

05:53That makes sense.

05:53Well, I'm sorry that that is what you're going through.

05:57And the stress of the property.

05:59You know, I had sort of thought about a spiritual divorce a long time ago and didn't even realize it was an option.

06:04So, when Mary got one, I'm like, oh, hey, Mary.

06:08Who do I call?

06:08You know?

06:09So, she has been kind of helping me get in touch with everybody.

06:13You know, there would be so much benefit to just making polygamy legal and giving any wife a claim on her husband's assets.

06:20I could bet you almost would make polygamy go away.

06:22Rather than chase it underground and put people in jail, just make it about the financial.

06:26No guy's going to be giving part of his estate to four or five wives.

06:31It's just not going to happen.

06:32All right.

06:33What do you think?

06:34Are those done?

06:34Yeah, I think those are done.

06:35I think those are done.

06:36Cool.

06:36All right.

06:39You know, I am really glad that it's worked out that I have relocated to North Carolina.

06:46Because after Garrison's death, I think Flagstaff would have been harder.

06:50I know that Wyoming was absolutely the right place to bury him.

06:52Everybody pretty much was able to make it.

06:56We're always talking about him.

06:57It almost is like he's very present.

06:59And I'm really good.

07:01And then at night, sometimes when it's quiet or some picture comes up on my phone, then I'm not good.

07:06I love being with the grandkids.

07:08Love it.

07:09It's so therapeutic for me.

07:11After the funeral, we went back to Erica's house and we were having a barbecue.

07:19Leon and I started talking about just unpacking everything.

07:27Because Garrison's death showed a lot.

07:31Like, so with Cody, it's like, I'm angry at the way things happened.

07:38But I can control how I react and how I reciprocate.

07:44And I'm still deciding how I do that.

07:47I'm sad.

07:50I'm sad for him.

07:51And I'm really sad for Robin's kids.

07:54And, like, if I had a conversation with any of them, I'd be like, I'm, like, I have nothing against you.

07:59And if I've ever done anything to hurt you, I'm sorry.

08:03Like, I would love to have a conversation.

08:04I'm not sure what to say other than that.

08:06Like, if I ever cause you pain, I'm sorry.

08:08I'm sorry.

08:17You want your dad to show up.

08:39And you want reconciliation.

08:44And I know that I played a part.

08:47But I'm angry.

08:54And I'm angry.

08:56Because I'm still trying to learn to not be disappointed.

09:08I would really love to have a better relationship with my children that I had with those ex-wives.

09:13I literally just compartmentalized the heartbreak.

09:18I don't know what to do.

09:20I would love healing with every single person I know.

09:25I would love healing with Mary.

09:27I would love healing with Janelle.

09:29I would love healing with Christine.

09:31And, of course, all of my children.

09:32But I think we're in an impasse here because this healing can only happen on their terms only.

09:42I would absolutely love it if Cody and I, if Robin and I, if, you know, me and Christine, me and Janelle could just get to a place with each other that we can be kind and civil to each other.

09:58I think in order to really heal with anybody, there has to be trust.

10:04We all need to see each other again when it's not around a funeral.

10:07So we can all start to heal a different way.

10:11I'm still learning how to see him for who he is.

10:18And I feel like Leon's already come to peace with this.

10:22And it's really hard because I don't feel like I have.

10:27I'm trying to understand that maybe he didn't know how to show up.

10:31And he might be hurting.

10:32We're ready to go.

10:46Let's go.

10:46Let's go do this thing.

10:47Let's go have you speed date.

10:48No, I have never even thought about doing speed dating.

10:51Just too stressful.

10:52It's too big of a group and it's way too noisy.

10:55Losing a wife in our religion was sort of a walk of shame.

10:58I've been concerned that somehow or another I'm diminished in Robin's eyes.

11:02I am going on a date with a whole bunch of men.

11:14I think it's going to be a fun day.

11:16I don't know how it's going to be.

11:17I've never done anything like this before, but I think it'll be fun.

11:19So I'm heading up to Salt Lake because I am going to go to a speed dating event.

11:24Should be very interesting.

11:27I have never done speed dating before.

11:29So just do that when you walk in tonight.

11:36Yes.

11:37Okay.

11:38And then.

11:40I need a man who knows and loves this bitch.

11:49Listen.

11:49If somebody doesn't like me and all my snort laughter, then they just aren't going to get me.

11:56And then they're just not my person.

12:01I think humor in any case.

12:05I don't care if you fart when you laugh accidentally.

12:08I don't have a problem with Mary's snort laugh.

12:11We're ready to go.

12:14Let's go.

12:14Let's go do this thing.

12:15Let's go have you speed date.

12:17No, I have never even thought about doing speed dating.

12:19Just too stressful.

12:21It's too big of a group and it's way too noisy.

12:23I have to meet them totally organically.

12:24I'm not going on any apps.

12:26I'm not speed dating.

12:27I'm not letting anyone set me up.

12:28Nothing.

12:29Nothing.

12:30Nothing.

12:31Speed date for a soulmate.

12:32Dating is interesting because some people really just don't want to date.

12:39It's teaching me how to trust myself.

12:47And I'm interested in finding somebody who is kind, who is outgoing, who is super confident

12:54with who he is.

12:58I would love to find somebody who's tall.

13:00Like, six feet or taller would be awesome.

13:04Somebody who has, like, really good, kind eyes.

13:08You can see if somebody's a good person by looking in their eyes.

13:19For the most part, it's just Cody and I and our kids.

13:24You know, I nag him about interacting with his other children.

13:28He pushes back, tells me to give him space, da-da-da.

13:32So, but other than that, it's just us.

13:35School years ago, school mornings were, like, a crazy thing because some mothers were off

13:41to work and some mothers were getting kids ready for school and some kids were getting

13:43themselves ready for school.

13:44All right, come on.

13:53You got to eat.

13:53You got everything, Gabe?

13:55Yes.

13:55Hi, Gabe.

13:56Gabe, um, you want breakfast for you?

13:58Yes.

14:00This is pretty much how it goes.

14:02I really wasn't that involved with getting planned, ready for school.

14:06I was at work.

14:08It was bittersweet.

14:19The Lehigh experience, it was, it was really special.

14:25There we go.

14:26We just, we just killed that turkey right there.

14:30There's this strange thing that Rob and I were in plural marriage together.

14:33It all came together, and they all just left.

14:37Like, we're monogamous, but we didn't choose that.

14:40It was kind of chosen for us when Cody's exes left.

14:45I did not choose monogamy for Robin because I chose me.

14:53Like, I didn't have a relationship with Cody, and I barely had one with Robin.

14:57And I wasn't willing to do that just so she could say she lived polygamy.

15:01Okay, go eat.

15:04Vitamin solved.

15:06It's definitely a different balance because he wasn't there all the time, you know.

15:10It was a couple times a week.

15:11The yellow and the green.

15:13Try not to spill, bud.

15:15I think because he had so many wives, he didn't have to check in the same way as you would as a monogamous.

15:21Okay, here's your school equipment, too.

15:23I was very devoted to my family life, but now I'm embedded in my family life.

15:28He's putting his phone in his pocket.

15:32Oh, Saul, it's not good for your body.

15:37You know, with plural marriage, you'd think you would need more accountability.

15:41But I think I'm being held more accountable now with Robin.

15:45I love you.

15:48I love you.

15:49Bye, Mom.

15:49Bye.

15:50Have a good day.

15:51I'm now in a different marriage than I've ever been in.

15:55Good morning.

15:56You ready to go?

16:00Losing a wife in our religion was sort of a walk of shame.

16:04Are you going to smile?

16:05There we go.

16:06I've been concerned that somehow or another I'm diminished in Robin's eyes because we haven't had an easy three years going through all of this.

16:16Did you get all the bags?

16:17Her bags?

16:18Got it all.

16:20I've had family members ask me if Cody and I are going to live for a marriage again.

16:26Do you want to watch us drive off and wave?

16:29Yes.

16:29So there's been some conversations about that from family.

16:34Some pressure, a little bit, too.

16:37You know, are you going to live plural marriage again and bring somebody else into the family?

16:41Put your seatbelt on.

16:43And it's a very personal thing because it's such a big decision.

16:47And I'm not sure what's going to happen.

16:54Jen decided it would be a really good idea to do some practice speed dating.

16:59Hi, I see your name is Mary.

17:02Wow, that's spelled weird.

17:03My name is Bob.

17:04I spell it with two O's.

17:08Nice to meet you.

17:16Yes, I can.

17:18We'll do a redo.

17:19No, there's no redo.

17:20So we're kind of really celebrating North Carolina and the property.

17:24And so everybody's out.

17:26Aspen and Mitch are here.

17:27Christina and David are here.

17:28My sister and her husband are here.

17:30Peyton is here.

17:31But we're going to also go distance.

17:33Go distance?

17:34I can't go distance.

17:35No, we said it's a race.

17:37Maddie's been actually training to run a marathon.

17:39So I think she was talking about it.

17:40And I think David, in his true fashion, is like, well, I could run a marathon.

17:44He's charming, but he definitely has an ego.

17:46But he's going to pull a hamstring.

17:46Hey, you're an endurance racer.

17:49Kate!

17:49I'm like a cheetah.

17:51Do you think this is like Maddie challenging you?

17:53Do you think this is like a rite of passage?

17:55I don't know if it's a rite of passage.

17:58I think that if it was going to be a shorter distance, David would win.

18:03David is not going to win this.

18:04On your mark.

18:05Get set.

18:06Go!

18:07Go, Maddie!

18:09Go!

18:10Maddie!

18:11No, Maddie, you've got to run faster!

18:14Faster, Maddie, faster!

18:15Maddie!

18:16What I love is that you can tell he really loves Christine, and Christine is so happy.

18:30I mean, Cody always had such a big personality and such a big presence, right?

18:33And David is the same.

18:34He's got a big personality.

18:35He's full of bluster.

18:37He's kind of like, I can do it.

18:39I can do it better.

18:40Like, all that.

18:41Like, I mean, he's just that guy.

18:43I think Dave is confident.

18:45Cody is very confident as well.

18:46He's confident.

18:48That's funny.

18:49I've always preferred someone who's a little bit, like, very confident.

18:53Do you guys want to see the map?

18:57We have an aerial map of the property that we're going to go look at.

18:59I have been here for literally more than a day, and you have not mentioned an aerial map?

19:04I have wanted property, our farm, the rural life, since I was a little kid.

19:11So, Maddie, Caleb, and I bought 156 acres in North Carolina, about 30 minutes from their existing house.

19:17It's very rural, totally undeveloped, covered with trees.

19:22I've got to unroll it and then roll it the other way.

19:25So, we have two projects, really, on this property.

19:27We need to get our houses built, and we need to get the farm area cleared.

19:31Got to have a barn, got to have a place for the chickens, got to have a garden, all that.

19:38So, this is where we want to put the flower farm, here.

19:42So, where would your home be, and then the business again?

19:45So, we're going to put the home here.

19:46This is where it perked for septic.

19:48Okay.

19:49So, you're going to have a road.

19:50What are you going to call it?

19:50Like this road.

19:51What are you going to call that road?

19:52Caleb said, why don't we call it Bob Boulevard?

19:54Bob Boulevard.

19:55Bob Boulevard.

19:56That's funny.

19:57I like that.

19:59Garrison's first name is Robert.

20:01So, he would be referred to as, like, Uncle Bob.

20:05They all have their little nicknames.

20:07Garrison says Bob.

20:09Garrison's always in our thoughts, right?

20:10And we will definitely probably have a part of the flower garden that's really more of a memorial to him and to Bob's Floral, his Hawaiian shirt shop.

20:18We'd like to do a flower garden area, like a monument, like a quiet garden that's, like, dedicated to people who struggle with mental health and lost their battles with mental health.

20:28He'll always be here.

20:30He will be represented here, for sure, on this property.

20:32So, when we get here, and, like, you get checked in, and I just, like, you're going to have to totally not sit where I can see you.

20:50I have said for a long time I would really, really, really love to meet somebody organically, and this is probably almost as organic as I'm going to get.

20:58Salt Lake City speed dating event is where it's at for me.

21:02I might say otherwise at the end of the night, though.

21:05We'll see.

21:07You're going to get there, in my head.

21:09You're going to, like, sign your name in, get your little name badge.

21:11These guys will just deer in headlights, and they're going to have to make you interested enough in a short amount of time to, like, know that this is what you want to do.

21:24So, like, what if they sit down and they don't know what to say?

21:29What if they sit down and they just, like, stare at you?

21:34Jen decided it would be a really good idea to do some practice speed dating.

21:40Hey, Mary.

21:42I'm Edward.

21:43Hey, Edward.

21:45See me match?

21:46I did.

21:47Yeah, you match that energy and that voice.

21:48I can totally match that energy.

21:50Okay.

21:50Tell me a little about yourself.

21:52I'm 54.

21:53Yeah.

21:54Single.

21:54Uh-huh.

21:55Ready to mingle?

21:56Ready to mingle.

21:56I don't like it.

21:57Hi.

21:58I see your name is Mary.

21:59Wow, that's spelled weird.

22:00My name is Bob.

22:01I spell it with two O's.

22:05My son.

22:06Hi, boo.

22:10Hi, Mary.

22:11My name is Thomas.

22:13Hi, Thomas.

22:14This is something I've never done before.

22:16What about you?

22:17I've done this a lot.

22:18I'm actually on my fourth wife.

22:19Not at the same time.

22:21Oh, hold on.

22:21Uh-huh.

22:23At what point in the conversation do I say, oh, by the way, I have been divorced from a

22:30man who had four wives, but my family has 18 children, and I only have one.

22:35Like, would you actually tell somebody on a six-minute date?

22:38I don't know.

22:39That would take up the whole six minutes.

22:41I don't know.

22:42There was a guy that I was talking to.

22:44He found out who I was, and he was like, I just, I can't.

22:50Like, I can't continue talking to you.

22:53This is not something that I'm even interested in or open to.

22:59And it was very hurtful to me.

23:02Because I was a polygamist, you're not interested in pursuing a relationship with me.

23:09First date is not a, I was a polygamist, third wife.

23:17You know, you don't go into that on a first date.

23:19That's too much information.

23:21That date will be over, and you will never get a second date.

23:23Been there, done that.

23:24If I were to ever have another relationship, it's going to be somebody that I know for a

23:29while.

23:30And they'll know, because, you know, it's not a big secret.

23:33It was like my first real big realization that that's going to inhibit some people from

23:43even wanting to start talking to me.

23:54In my brain, there's something I want maybe more than you do, but I...

24:00Oh, you're talking about sex?

24:01Yeah.

24:01A polygamist is getting more than he wants, and a monogamist isn't getting enough.

24:09Won't be really tall grass here in a minute.

24:12We definitely envision this property as a gathering place.

24:16Woo!

24:17Hopefully we can put some small little cabins eventually for everybody to stay in or whatever.

24:22But in general, we want it to be a gathering place.

24:25I'm doing it.

24:26Janelle would love to have, you know, this be where the whole family gathers.

24:33Absolutely.

24:33I also want my house to be the place where everybody gathers.

24:36Just saying.

24:37We could have, like, some sort of a gang war kind of between Janelle and I a little bit.

24:42Like, who's going to get more people?

24:44She's winning right now, by the way.

24:45Okay.

24:45This is exciting for Maddie, Caleb, and Janelle.

24:49Uh, it seems like a lot of work.

24:52Um, but I am excited for them.

24:54And it's all of their dream.

24:55So it's perfect.

24:57There is nothing in North Carolina that I'm even interested in.

25:01No.

25:03This is raw land.

25:04There's really nothing appealing here.

25:07Christina's not a homesteader.

25:08She just wants to live in her very comfortable house in the suburbs.

25:12Look, I'm not trying to compete about who gathers where the most.

25:17I feel like having a really great place that is big enough to accommodate all of us, that's

25:23the goal, is to find a space that we can all hang out that's big enough, where, wherever

25:26that is.

25:29Woo!

25:31Cheers to the dream and cowboy in the s***.

25:34Cheers to the dream.

25:36We're just going to cowboy this s***.

25:38It's the attitude of just, we're going to figure it out as we go.

25:40So Stephen said we can pile it all up and do, like, big, huge fires.

25:44Oh, yeah.

25:44Like that one over there.

25:45Aspen and I think we should invite all the siblings and recreate that photo of Garrison,

25:49like, with maniacal eyes.

25:50Yes!

25:52Garrison loved fire.

25:58There's this picture, and they're all kind of around this bonfire, and there's this Garrison

26:02standing in front of it, and he is just excited.

26:05You can tell on his face.

26:07So I think they're trying to, they were laughing about trying to recreate that one.

26:24Rob and I are going out to dinner tonight.

26:25It's always a good experience for us.

26:30It's always a good time for us to be able to have a conversation and talk.

26:34Will you cut that up for me?

26:35How did you do that?

26:38That's a pretty hard...

26:39Let me use your knife, because I was licking mine.

26:40All right.

26:42I'm okay with your licking.

26:44Oh, that sounded bad.

26:49I just had a lot of fun with what you just said in my head, but I want to be a gentleman

26:56and not a...

26:57Yeah, I know, right?

26:58Hey, gentlemen.

26:59Just kidding.

27:01You okay with my licking?

27:03You can lick.

27:05You'll lick the rest of it.

27:07You're teasing me.

27:08No, no, no.

27:08There's still a little bit right there.

27:13So that's fun to tease you.

27:14You get cute.

27:15You got all shy.

27:16You get shy.

27:16Cody's a lot more showy, even in front of the kids.

27:21And I'm like, whoa.

27:22And I come across sometimes as snobby, but I'm actually just shy.

27:31So a relative asked you if we were still into plural marriage.

27:34Well, just if we were going to live it anymore.

27:37Kind of a thing.

27:38What would you say?

27:39I don't know.

27:40Really?

27:41I don't know.

27:42I wasn't quite sure what to say to him.

27:43I didn't want to speak for you.

27:50I feel like if this is still something that's a part of me, then wouldn't I live it?

27:57Cody and I never chose to live monogamy.

28:00It's definitely not something I ever would have chosen for myself.

28:07You turned down qualified, worthy individuals.

28:14For marriage.

28:15Because they weren't going to live plural marriage.

28:17That's true.

28:18I had marriage proposals.

28:20I had people I dated.

28:21I could have lived monogamy just fine.

28:24Just some guys, different men in different times.

28:28Said, you know, I'd marry you in a heartbeat.

28:31You know, we were friends.

28:32You know, a little bit of, you know, like talking and hanging out.

28:37And, you know, maybe with our kids together kind of a thing.

28:40And I was just like, well, I plan to live plural marriage.

28:43And, you know, each one of them at different times was like, that's not something I want to do.

28:49Like, listen.

28:50If I'd have been person to you and I didn't have other wives, how would you have treated it?

28:54I would have said the same thing to you.

28:56I wouldn't have even been open to him.

28:57Do you see a value in it for us and our future in any way?

29:03I don't know what space Robin is in.

29:05And I don't know what space we'll be in in two or three years.

29:10I almost feel like turning the table and saying, well, do you want to get back in plural marriage?

29:17There was somebody who was really supportive and really wanted to work and really wanted a relationship with me as well as with you.

29:23Not just you.

29:25And then we had a guarantee that it was going to be okay and it was going to be wonderful and it was going to be what I always dreamed it was supposed to be.

29:36That would be something to really, truly consider.

29:38I think you and I share something very special.

29:57But if it's not duplicatable, it could put us at risk.

30:01And there is something...

30:02You've got to think about this.

30:03Come on, there's something wonderful here.

30:04Right here.

30:05Well, yeah.

30:06Yeah, there is.

30:07Why would we put that at risk?

30:09Yeah, you're right.

30:10For anything other than...

30:12I guarantee.

30:13And that's the only reason.

30:14It's not possible.

30:16Why would we put that at risk?

30:17Anything other than in my brain, there's something I want maybe more than you do.

30:23What?

30:26What do you mean?

30:27I don't want to talk about that subject.

30:30But I...

30:30Oh, you're talking about sex?

30:31Yeah, I'm not...

30:32Oh.

30:32My primary motivation, I'm afraid, at this state in my life...

30:37Yeah.

30:39Would be, um...

30:40Yeah, just...

30:41Just how good-looking she is.

30:43I'm not kidding.

30:44And that would be the very worst reason.

30:47Well, I'd still want to be able to connect.

30:49So you don't understand how you're coming across.

30:52I know.

30:53I know I'm a guy.

30:54And I don't...

30:54No.

30:54I don't freaking care.

30:56Okay, you're just kind of being a bit of a pig right now.

31:04I'm being crass here for a reason.

31:07I'm saying, yeah, she looks hot.

31:10And that would make me want to talk to her.

31:13But I'm not interested in marrying her.

31:16Because that won't matter when I'm getting nagged.

31:19For me, I'm like, okay, well, so you have the real relationship with me, but then she's

31:26just, what, a concubine?

31:27Because that's pretty much what that is.

31:29It should be more than that, for sure.

31:31Most women want commitment.

31:32They want love.

31:33They want tenderness.

31:34They want companionship.

31:35They want, um...

31:37Honesty and depth and emotional intimacy.

31:40Honesty, you're saying you would never put this at risk, but you're saying the only reason

31:46why you would do it is for, is for...

31:49But that's not a good enough reason.

31:51Okay.

31:52Right.

31:52I'm like, whoa.

31:54My point is, it's not a good enough reason.

31:58Agreed.

31:58He's always had this, uh, surplus, if you will, of intimate relationships.

32:06Uh, there's a fear that, um, like, he doesn't know what to expect as far as monogamy is concerned.

32:15And I'm looking at him going, dude, we've never had trouble here before.

32:20Why would we have trouble now?

32:22A polygamist is getting more than he wants, and a monogamist isn't getting enough.

32:26I don't mean to be salacious here, but we failed already.

32:32We, it was very, very painful.

32:36So, if I was to ever try this again, she would have to be an absolute diamond.

32:44And I'm not talking about just looks.

32:47I'm talking about the kind of devotion to us, to Robin, that I would never...

32:54And I mean, I'm getting really honest with you here.

32:56Just take the sex out completely.

32:58She would have to adore Robin so much that I would never, ever have to worry about whether

33:04she was competing with Robin for my love and affection.

33:10And how would it work?

33:11We're not involved in a religion anymore.

33:13Yeah.

33:14That would be a requirement, is to have a proper authority to perform the marriage.

33:19It would create a lot of worry and stress for me that the person coming in, a possible wife

33:25coming in, would not take it as seriously.

33:28I would be concerned that Cody wouldn't take it as seriously.

33:30I'd just be constantly be worried that it'd just all fall apart and our whole lives would

33:35turn into crap again.

33:36I'm just not interested in having the drama in my life of another woman.

33:49Are you and I enduring our marriage?

33:52No.

33:53No.

33:53I mean, we have our bad days.

33:54Rawr, rawr.

33:55You know, our murder face comes out and it's like, stop that.

33:58Okay.

33:58You're okay knowing that all the attention I need, those sister witches of yours.

34:11Hey, Cody.

34:13Now I'm a sister witch.

34:15Is that what he said?

34:15Sister witches?

34:17He's getting pretty creative there.

34:19Cody's confidence level comes from calling people names.

34:23I'll own that title.

34:24Absolutely.

34:25I'm a sister witch, you bet.

34:26Are you going to be my cheerleader?

34:29You know I am.

34:31Then we're great.

34:31Rooting for you.

34:33The problem I see in plural marriage is that I don't think those two ladies can get along

34:43once I'm in both of their beds.

34:48Robin was welcomed by the family.

34:52And when her and I went on our honeymoon, it felt like it changed.

34:56And it wasn't fair to her.

34:58And I'm not saying it was fair to them.

35:00It's just the lifestyle we all chose.

35:03Deal with it.

35:04Well, we dealt with it.

35:05They're gone.

35:06She's here.

35:07I'm moving on.

35:08I'm a monogamous.

35:09And it pisses me off when people ask me why I want to be a monogamous still.

35:13So didn't you see the mess?

35:16I'm done.

35:18Robin, I'm done.

35:21Because the idea of it just breaks my heart.

35:25So it's you and me, baby.

35:26Monogamy?

35:27Does it work for you?

35:28Will it work for you?

35:30Sounds good.

35:32No, no, no.

35:33No, no, no.

35:33It sounds good.

35:35I'm good.

35:36I'm good.

35:37I'm good.

35:38I'm good.

35:39I'm good.

35:41Okay.

35:42It's a deal.

35:43It is hard to say this.

35:54It is hard.

35:55It was hard when we were there at dinner.

35:58It's hard to say it now.

36:00It's hard to say it.

36:01It goes against some things in me, some, like, deep parts of myself.

36:06And it's a challenge to kind of just really say, I'm done with plural marriage.

36:13I don't know.

36:14It's confusing.

36:15And I'm still wondering, still asking those questions, looking for the answers.

36:22You can feel free to have a, grab a coffee or a water, and then we'll get started here

36:38in, like, 10 minutes.

36:39Break a leg, bro.

36:40Break a leg, bro.

36:43You got this.

36:44It's going to be awesome.

36:45The last couple of years, I feel like I've really just kind of embraced, like, let's just

36:49do all the things.

36:50Just say yes.

36:53Just do all the things.

36:54Just have fun.

36:55Experience life.

36:57So that's what I'm doing.

36:59Write your date's name on the card, and if there's any comments that you want to write

37:03about them, whatever will help you kind of remember who they are.

37:06I don't know what types of men are going to be here.

37:09I don't know if, you know, they're just, I just have no idea what to expect.

37:16This season on Sister Wives.

37:23I got another one of those emails from some woman asking sort of, like, to get to know

37:28us for the purpose of joining the family.

37:30You and Cody could hang out.

37:35Yeah.

37:36I don't know if he did that.

37:41We talked about a spiritual divorce, and I think I'm ready.

37:48I love that you're doing this, Janelle.

37:50What's coming for you?

37:51Yeah.

37:52Cody called.

37:56He said that somebody wants a couple pieces of the property.

37:59Does your money ever go into his hands?

38:02It better not go through his hands.

38:05We're going to close on Coyote Pass soon.

38:08This is bullsh**.

38:09I'm not selling this land until everything is perfectly fair, and we do this the right

38:12way.

38:12Sorry.

38:14It's a standoff at the Coyote Pass final showdown.

38:17I would love healing with Mary.

38:26I would love healing with Janelle.

38:28I would love healing with Christine.

38:31I don't want to talk to Cody ever again.

38:35How much longer until you just realize that he's an ass?

38:39Well, he wants to see me.

38:40I really want to tell him that we'll never be friends.

38:43I wanted to apologize with all my heart.

38:50I said I didn't love you.

38:53That wasn't true.

38:55Is there any part of you that would ever go back to Cody?

39:00I'm not trying to make us back together in any way, Mary.

39:03We are never, ever, ever getting back together.

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