- 20 hours ago
So many of the best romantic comedies share a surprising amount with Cinderella -- and they're not the things you might expect!
Cinderella has, much like romcoms as a genre, long gotten a...
Cinderella has, much like romcoms as a genre, long gotten a...
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00:00Cinderella has, much like rom-coms as a genre, long gotten a lot of unwarranted flack.
00:06But actually, if we look a bit deeper, we can see that so many of the best rom-coms
00:11actually share a lot of qualities with Cinderella's story.
00:14So what do all of these stories have in common? Let's take a closer look.
00:19They can't order me to stop dreaming.
00:21While romance is an important part of these stories, it does put the rom in rom-com.
00:27It is crucially not the central driving force of the heroine's life.
00:31I want you to wave to Jack and Buddy.
00:34I am not waving to men I don't know.
00:37Cinderella has long been derided for being a story about a woman just waiting to be saved by a guy.
00:42But that isn't the case at all.
00:45She's not really interested in or looking for love at all.
00:48It's just something she happens to find along her own personal journey.
00:52Getting the guy is just a part of Cinderella's happy ending,
00:55which is more about escaping her terrible abusive household and the life she was trapped in.
01:00Her big dream is of just being happy.
01:03With each dawn she found new hope that someday her dreams of happiness would come true.
01:09And while it might at first seem counterintuitive, this is indeed a feature of many great rom-coms.
01:15These heroines aren't just waiting around focused on love.
01:18They have a lot of different interests, goals, and struggles that they're dealing with.
01:22You argued your way from a C-plus to an A-minus?
01:26Are you proud?
01:27Honey, I couldn't be happier than if they were based on real grades.
01:31The guy isn't her goal or a prize for her, but someone who comes along and adds to the
01:37personal journey she's already on. How Stella got her groove back,
01:41Stella is just looking for a little break from her hectic life,
01:44and happens to run into a guy who opens up her mind to new possibilities.
01:49Clueless' share is focused on school, fashion, and meddling in everyone else's life,
01:54and it takes a while before she realizes that Josh is also a more important piece of her puzzle than
02:00she thought. Palm Springs' Sarah is dealing with her own personal struggles and then has to become
02:05a quantum physics expert to free herself from a time loop, and happens to fall in love with Niles in the interim.
02:11This kind of decentering of the romance allows for more exploration of the heroine's own growth,
02:17which we'll unpack more in a second, but also actually allows the romance itself to feel more
02:21deep and genuine. This is true for all great rom-coms. The true romance comes as a result of
02:28building a full life for oneself, which then gives you the time and space to be open to real love.
02:33The romance that does come is built on mutual care and respect. They aren't just settling or
02:38getting caught up in a whirlwind of romantic feelings about an idea of a person. They've
02:43really come to know and understand each other, and importantly, themselves, and are through that
02:48growth ready to make a big commitment. What if we get sick of each other? We're already sick of each other.
02:57It's the best. Being together isn't her goal and doesn't replace her goals,
03:02but instead is a choice that they're both making together out of a desire to be there
03:06for each other as they both grow and change.
03:09I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out.
03:12I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich.
03:15I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts.
03:18In these stories, the heroine generally begins the story in an unhappy place,
03:23but while she might have felt stuck for a while, when we meet her,
03:26she's finally finding the spark to start climbing her way out of this hole.
03:30She isn't sad about being alone, but instead feels brought down by larger forces in her life,
03:36usually unrelated to romance at all. For Cinderella, it's her evil stepfamily.
03:41For others, it's being overworked or underappreciated,
03:44bristling against the constraints of her world, or just feeling totally unfulfilled.
03:49But instead of waiting around for someone to save them,
03:51these characters are active in looking for ways to change their situation.
03:55I can't just wake up and decide to be a costume designer.
03:59I've got to pay my dues, and pay my dues means not paying my rent,
04:03or being able to afford cute cocktails, but I'll get there.
04:07Cinderella herself wasn't waiting to be saved.
04:10She was trapped, at points literally, by an abusive family.
04:13Cinderella was abused, humiliated, and finally forced to become a servant in her own house.
04:19But she never at any point let them cause her to give up on her dreams of a better life.
04:23While she had a hard time imagining how she could possibly get out,
04:26she is constantly working to find solutions to her problems to the best of her abilities.
04:31And it's through her own power of imagination that she manifests the fairy godmother,
04:35and is able to have her night of freedom that she so desired.
04:38These rom-com heroines, too, aren't afraid to run after a better life,
04:42even if they're not always sure how to get there at first.
04:45In Set It Up, Parker feels crushed under the immense pressure of pleasing her overbearing bosses
04:50every whim. But she's focused on her true goal of becoming a sports writer.
04:55Her interactions with Charlie stem from this goal.
04:58She wants to be able to keep her boss happy and learn from her,
05:01while also finally getting some time to focus on herself.
05:05Like Cinderella, she spends what little free time she has working on making her dreams a reality.
05:10In the end, her big win isn't getting with Charlie.
05:14It's standing up for herself and what she wants, and being willing to take the big,
05:18scary leap of going after her dream full force.
05:21I learned so much from you. You're my hero.
05:25But if I want to actually be a writer, I have to stop making excuses not to write.
05:30These heroines are able to carve out new lives for themselves because,
05:33while they may not love everything about themselves,
05:36deep down they believe in themselves and know that they're worthy of happiness.
05:40They may falter or question their decisions every once in a while, but at the end of the day,
05:45they know what they want. Or at the very least, what they don't want.
05:48And I don't want the ice cream on top. I want it on the side. And I like strawberry instead of vanilla
05:52if you have it. If not, then no ice cream, just whipped cream. But only if it's real. If it's out of a can, then nothing.
05:56The Cinderella story is often used to refer to stories where someone's life is changed in a major way by a chance outside force.
06:03And for female characters, that force is almost always a man.
06:07And the big change is her physical appearance.
06:09But that's not really in line with Cinderella's actual story at all.
06:13Cinderella's magical change from rags to dazzle has become one of the most enduring visuals of cinema.
06:18But that's not actually the major point of change for her.
06:22Just looking different isn't the point. It's about gaining access to a new level of freedom.
06:27And seeing more of the world beyond the one she's been trapped in
06:30brings her joy and lights her fire to really change her life.
06:34Have a good time. Dance. Be gay. Now off you go. You're on your way.
06:38She doesn't change as a person because her appearance changes.
06:42She's still as kind and caring as she was when she was making her own clothes with her mouse friends.
06:46In some stories, physical changes are used to represent internal changes within a person.
06:51Connected to the old-school idea that how one looks on the outside is a direct reflection of one's character.
06:57And they're changing themselves to better fit into and or get approval from those around them.
07:02But in Cinderella rom-coms, this isn't the case at all.
07:05She may undergo some physical change, updating her clothes or hair.
07:09But it isn't about her becoming a better person because of that.
07:12Instead, it's a reflection of her taking control of her own life.
07:15Take My Big Fat Greek Weddings Tula.
07:18She does update her look.
07:19But it's not a sign of her trying to become someone else or change the fundamentals of who she is.
07:25But instead just a part of her finding her own confidence and embracing who she is.
07:29In many of these rom-coms, the heroines don't feel the need to change their looks at all.
07:33They're fine with their appearance.
07:35You know you're very...
07:36Peng? Refreshingly disarming.
07:38And the problems they're looking to fix are in their situation.
07:41They might still get a Cinderella-esque formal outfit moment,
07:44changing up their look for one event.
07:46But just like Cinderella, they return to their original look.
07:50Of course, at the very end of her movie, Cinderella is once again very fancy,
07:53but it's literally her wedding.
07:55And even then, her dress is simple and sleek, in line with her general style.
07:59Crazy Rich Agent's Eleanor has a big movie makeover montage moment,
08:03but in the end, returns to her own clothes.
08:05Because she knows that there's nothing wrong with them.
08:08Just like there's nothing wrong with her.
08:10I'm not leaving because I'm scared.
08:12Or because I think I'm not enough.
08:14Because maybe for the first time in my life,
08:18I know I am.
08:19Even prom-coms have long gotten hate for not being intellectual,
08:23for being unimportant, for being bad for women.
08:25Criticisms that have been levied at Cinderella as well.
08:28While certainly this is true for some films within the genre,
08:31for the best prom-coms, as with Cinderella,
08:33the hate comes not because of any actual problems with them,
08:37but because of society's need to downplay anything seen as feminine as being less than.
08:42Poorly written rom-coms can absolutely run into the problem of making it seem like
08:46all women think about are men and how to hunt them down and trap them for life.
08:50But as we've discussed, the well-done ones are much more interested
08:53in taking a more holistic look at women, their lives, and their desires,
08:57and are just unafraid to include romance as a part of that.
09:00We're also unafraid to show that love and romance is also an important part of the equation
09:12for the men in question as well.
09:14That was actually one of the big things that made When Harry Met Sally feel so fresh and relatable.
09:18It wasn't about Sally chasing down Harry.
09:21They both led their own lives, came together,
09:23Someone is staring at you in personal growth.
09:27fell apart,
09:27And in the end, both had to decide to open themselves up to love and the possibility of a future
09:33that was different from what they might have imagined.
09:36Thankfully over time, these positive kinds of rom-coms have not only become more frequent,
09:40but also more varied, showcasing a much more realistic picture of the full range of relationships on screen.
09:46Everyone deserves to love themselves and find love if they want it,
09:50and the blossoming of the genre to include everyone,
09:54means more opportunities for everyone to find a character that they can see themselves in.
09:59Even as the times and styles change,
10:01the heart at the base of these stories allows them to connect with viewers generation after generation.
10:06And that's because the most important love in all of them is the love one has for oneself.
10:12No matter what circumstances they might find themselves in,
10:15these heroines never let go of the good, determined people they are at their core.
10:20Yeah, what are you doing?
10:21I'm captain of the Pismo Beach disaster relief.
10:23I don't think they need your skis.
10:25Daddy, some people lost all their belongings.
10:27Don't you think that includes athletic equipment?
10:29And that's also what makes the romances they do find so alluring,
10:33because they're really about finding someone who loves you for you,
10:38not some person you've changed yourself into to please them,
10:42and who wants to join you on the journey of life, through all of the ups and downs.
10:47The happily ever after isn't about finding a prince or living in a castle,
10:51but making your dreams of a happy life, whatever that looks like for you, come true.
10:55We were friends for a long time.
10:57And then we weren't.
10:59And then we fell in love.
11:01That's the take.
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