The "Gen Z Stare" Controversy, Explained

The Take Film TV Movie

The “Gen Z stare” has become a huge topic of conversation on TikTok and the internet at large, and the real problem is actually a lot deeper than you might expect! Gen Zers say it’s just...

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00:00Gen Z gets flack for a lot of things. But now, in some online spaces, they're getting heat for…

00:06looking at people? The so-called Gen Z stare has become a huge topic of conversation on TikTok and

00:12now the internet at large. Gen Zers say it's just a logical reaction to the illogical world

00:18they're confronting. Millennials say there's more to it than that. And older people seem to mostly

00:23just see it as a reason to write what this trend taught me about B2B sales pieces. So what's really

00:29behind this Gen Z stare? Is it really a problem? And if so, what's the solution? The trend of roasting

00:41the current young adult generation for all kinds of random things never seems to end. Millennials

00:46got hit for supposedly killing every industry and not being able to afford homes because they bought

00:51too many avocado toasts. Now Gen Z are under the microscope for the way they respond or don't

00:57respond in certain situations. Are the seats assigned or do we just sit anywhere? Okay,

01:02I'll just go f*** myself. What began as mostly a joke has exploded into a much more heated conversation.

01:08But a large part of the issue stems from the fact that in many cases, people aren't actually talking

01:13about the same thing. When the first jokes about the Gen Z stare began popping up, Gen Zers themselves

01:19were quick to argue that it's just them pushing back against the societal expectations around how they

01:24should behave. But the older generations have repeatedly pointed out that that isn't what

01:38they're talking about at all. Indeed, staring at an annoying customer because you don't want to

01:42engage with them isn't even something new or specific to Gen Z. The Gen Z stare they are talking

01:48about seems to come more from a fear of responding or an inability to know how to respond in what seem

01:55like pretty basic social situations. Because everyone is talking past instead of to each other,

02:01many on both sides of the conversation are losing sight of the fact that there are multiple different

02:06issues going on here, each with different causes and effects. To figure out what's really going on,

02:11let's break down the separate parts to get to the heart of this issue. Younger generations have long

02:16gotten flack for not responding to the world they've been born into in the right way. Gen X were

02:22decried as aimless slackers because they weren't as interested in the corporate grind as their

02:26parents. Millennials were seen as too emotional and immature because they wanted to do something

02:31they enjoyed with their lives and be able to pay rent. And in recent years, Gen Z have been under fire

02:37for their refusal to play the game at all. This generation has been adamantly pushing back against

02:42ingrained expectations around how the world is supposed to be, and how they have to behave to

02:48fit into it. And they've also come to realize that they're tired of empty platitudes and niceties that

02:54don't actually mean anything. That's my favorite way to be an ally. You just say you're doing something

03:00and you don't do any of those things. You know what I mean? You say, I support women.

03:03You don't. Don't come.

03:05The whole Gen Z stare conundrum can be better understood if we take a deeper look at three

03:09key areas that can affect all of our social interactions to some degree, regardless of our

03:14generation. Not wanting to do emotional labor was the big defense many Gen Zers turned to in response

03:20to the question of the stare. Carly Russell Hochschild coined the term emotional labor in her 1983 book,

03:26The Managed Heart, commercialization of human feeling, defining it as the management of feeling

03:33to create a publicly observable facial and bodily display. It's the requirement that workers,

03:39particularly women, not only regulate their true emotions, but also conceal any part of themselves

03:45that might cause friction in favor of appearing appropriately cheerful or helpful.

03:50I have some issues with the other work study kids that I manage. They just have got a lot of attitude.

03:55Well, I really need this job to pay for school, so the only kind of attitude I have is can do.

04:00When rules about how to feel and how to express feeling are set by management,

04:04when workers have weaker rights to courtesy than customers do, when deep and surface acting are forms

04:09of labor to be sold, and when private capacities for empathy and warmth are put to corporate uses,

04:16what happens to the way a person relates to her feelings or to her faith?

04:21And this is me expressing myself, okay?

04:25Many Gen Z-ers said that their stares are just them refusing to perform this kind of emotional labor.

04:31But this isn't actually what the Gen Z stare refers to.

04:35The actual Gen Z stare seems to come more from the second and third areas to some degree.

04:40Social anxiety and a lack of development of real-world social skills.

04:45You know, ever since we were little, I would get this feeling like I'm floating outside of my body,

04:51looking down at myself. And I hate when I see how I'm acting the way I sound.

04:59Social anxiety can range from just a general uneasiness with social situations

05:03to a full-on disorder that can totally disrupt one's life. The National Institute of Mental Health

05:08Writes, A person with social anxiety disorder feels symptoms of anxiety or fear in situations

05:14where they may be scrutinized, evaluated, or judged by others, such as speaking in public,

05:19meeting new people, dating, being on a job interview, answering a question in class,

05:24asking for help, or having to talk to a cashier in a store. This is much more in line with the

05:29issue that others are pointing out in regards to the Gen Z stare. Social anxiety is, of course,

05:34not new or specific to Gen Z. Somehow my character gets lost between my heart

05:40and my mouth and I find myself saying the wrong thing or more likely nothing at all.

05:44But the freezing when confronted with any situation where they feel like they might face in-person

05:49scrutiny, even with things as simple as returning a hello, do seem to be in line with a more intense

05:55version of social anxiety. Just don't be so weird. God, why are you so awkward? God,

06:01just have a good time. Just relax. Just relax. Have a good time. Go talk to people.

06:07Most young people have to deal with some level of awkwardness when trying to find their footing

06:11socially. Ow! Ow! Big boy runs fast! You had a second chance and you said that shit again?

06:17Yeah. Yeah, you're ruining this for us. But for Gen Z in particular, there's an added element that can't be

06:22ignored — the fact that some of their most formative years were spent separated from others

06:27due to the pandemic. An editorial for Pediatric Research notes, the pandemic has had significant

06:32indirect effects on multiple areas of child development, school readiness, educational

06:37attainment, socialization skills, mental health, in addition to risks based on social determinants of

06:43health. A recent Gallup poll found that 45% of parents of school-aged children say the pandemic has

06:49had a negative impact on their child's social skill development. Being physically separated from

06:54friends and blocked off from social interaction certainly didn't help. But it also isn't the full

06:59story. Mayo Clinic's Children's Center pediatrician, Dr. Nushin Aminadine, explained,

07:04We were seeing these increases long before the pandemic hit. We'll 100% agree that the pandemic

07:10exacerbated the problem. But these issues were present and on a steady upswing 10 to 15 years before

07:16the pandemic. Many believe that a huge part of the issue is the reliance on screens for so much

07:21of our interaction nowadays. Many young people have become more used to its delayed, often one-way

07:26forms of communication, instead of being adapted to in-person interactions. So, knowing that the

07:32issues reach far deeper than just not saying hi fast enough, can we pull some solutions out of this

07:38whole debacle that are more useful than stop staring?

07:41The solution to the problem isn't going to come from yelling at each other in the comments

07:47sections online, especially if we can't even have enough of a conversation to figure out what

07:52specifically it is we're actually even talking about. None of the problems at the core of the

07:57stare are new or unique to Gen Z, but the world they're having to grow up in and confront it all in

08:04is. The world's coming to an end and I haven't even graduated high school yet.

08:08It's important to dig into what caused these issues in the first place so that we can have

08:13a chance of rectifying them and hopefully fixing them for future generations. We all might react to

08:18these issues differently, but we all have to deal with them all the same.

08:23So it's a cliché I know, but why do you want to work here?

08:26I don't, but I need money to live.

08:29And we'll only be able to solve these problems if we work together.

08:32It's also key to remember that these are reactions to a problem, not the problem itself.

08:37In the same way millennials, for example, had no control over the whole participation trophy

08:42thing, which was actually the result of their parents not being able to deal with the fact

08:46that their kid wasn't always number one, Gen Z didn't ask to be brought up in a screen-focused

08:51society during a global pandemic. And while parents themselves get a lot of flack for raising

08:56iPad babies, it's often not an active choice they're making either, but instead them just

09:01trying to deal with the crush of a society that totally leaves parents in the dust.

09:05I think most people that are doing this, it's because they're overworked, they're stressed

09:08out, they don't have good childcare options. A lot of people are having to work at home with

09:12their kids there. Per usual, it's capitalism's fault is I guess my final thought.

09:17On the flip side, Gen Z does need to be open to the idea that people who are older and have lived

09:22more can have a more comprehensive understanding of what's going on. And so may actually be able to

09:29point out real issues that can hinder their lives going forward. Though again, to be helpful,

09:35help, and not just that hot Gen Z can't do anything right mockery. The Gen Z stare will

09:40likely just end up another rung in the endless, generational discourse ladder. But it could also

09:45be a great jumping off point for some really important conversations that we all need to have

09:50together. We've all got problems, but we can also all use our different perspectives to create

09:55some great solutions too. They're not as nihilistic as they look on the internet, that's just like

10:02what they want you to think. That's the take! Click here to watch the video we think you'll love,

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