- 2 hours ago
Tv, Facejacker Season 2 Episode 6
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00:00It's the business deal of the decade
00:03America's entrepreneurial elite head for Philadelphia to fight for the chance to work for the finest mind in British business
00:11You're fine
00:16Eight potential business partners two tough days one massive opportunity
00:21I'm a self-made entrepreneur that manages
00:242500 volunteers no one can tell me about business. I get people to work for me for free
00:28I'm usually surrounded by idiots. So today does not faze me. I'm just really excited to be you know
00:34It's an incredible opportunity for me in an incredible place with incredible people
00:39It's just incredible when it comes to business. I'm very clever and I'll laugh you right out of the arena
00:58It's day one and the eight hopeful entrepreneurs have been called to central Philadelphia to be given their tasks by Sir Terry
01:18Who they're about to see for the very first time?
01:21I
01:26Hello
01:28Above your head is a plaque
01:32Come on my way
01:34Marvellous that a holiday which generates over four billion dollars every year
01:39Hey
01:41Hi
01:43I love your teddy bears with you. I love you my credit honor
01:47Your task is to devise a new dime
01:52Tomorrow you'll pitch it to me
01:55My side liner and Duma Tansy will be watching you every move
02:01You might be in the line of opportunity
02:04But you only get one opportunity
02:08For two
02:10I'll fuck it up now
02:12I fit
02:12I fit the big time now
02:15Oh yeah
02:15Till we see the big time
02:17Till we see the big time
02:19Till we see the big time
02:20That's right
02:21Toe chips
02:25Welcome to fresh and meaty drive-through
02:27After the beep state clearly your order
02:31Turkey burger special everything including cheese on it
02:35Your order is as follows
02:37One turkey burger special we have no cheese no chili
02:43I didn't say that
02:44No mustard
02:45I didn't say that
02:46No relish
02:47Meaty burger special no cheese no onions
02:51You have requested one
02:52One beanie burger special with extra cheese extra onion extra
02:59One turkey burger medium
03:02Yes
03:03One lemonade
03:05Yes
03:06And one chili cheese king burger
03:10No
03:12Not no chili please
03:14Please restate your order after the beep
03:18A meaty burger special no cheese no onions
03:23You've requested one meaty burger special
03:26With no cheese no onions no lettuce
03:32No lettuce
03:33No relish no bread
03:36No mustard no meat
03:40Who gives a shit
03:41I don't need this waste
03:42You're fine
03:44The two teams are driven to sir terry's hq
03:47Where they must come up with a concept for their new day
03:50After deciding on their team name
03:51The name is dragonfly
03:54Love the name
03:54Dragonfly is a very good name
03:56I think we should also have you know some kind of dragonfly
04:01With just 45 minutes to brainstorm the team's under serious pressure
04:05Who's been excluded who does not have a day
04:08I think we should do elderly day
04:10America elderly are left out and it could be the same thing as mother's day
04:13I think we're going to
04:14Kids think they do
04:15I think we're going to
04:17What anything you buy from mother's day
04:18Let's do a milkshake there
04:20A milkshake
04:21A milkshake or a smoothie there
04:22But you know you buy a blender for your family and then it disappears for like six months
04:25What happened to the blender I got you mom
04:27And then all of a sudden you bring the blender out it's covered in dust
04:29You give it a wash
04:30And then maybe you put some banana some kiwi fruit you know maybe a bit of you know acai juice
04:34Man only thing I could get think of is little people
04:37Like uh don't we have a children's day
04:39No midgets
04:40No
04:41Midgets
04:41Yeah
04:42Pet appreciation day
04:43We're going to keep that idea
04:44Pet parties
04:45Pet parties
04:46There's going to be dog shit everywhere
04:47You can come up with spa treatments
04:49Special drinks
04:49Oh my god come on
04:51What I want to take a jacuzzi and I can't because almost Dalmatians taking a big dump in there
04:56I like the forgiveness
04:57I like forgiveness too
04:58All right then forgiveness day
05:00What about night day
05:02What day
05:02Night day
05:04Like the evening night
05:05It's a day but it's night
05:06So you pretend that it's night and a day
05:08So do everything that you do in the night but then a day
05:12It's absolutely hilarious
05:18I had a phone in order
05:20State your number clearly after the beep
05:27Your phone in order is
05:28You're having trouble with the drive thru system
05:42What is the trouble?
05:42I had a phone in order
05:44I had a phone in order
05:45Oh the phone in order is you have to say to the machine and then the machine says computings and then the computing says kitchens and then the kitchens make is for you and then you pick it up at second window
05:58I put you through to machine okay one moment please
06:08You just did that and I didn't go through the machine
06:10It's fresh
06:12It's fresh
06:13It's meaty
06:14I'm running out of air
06:17She's fucking around with this machine
06:18I'm about to put a name
06:19Yeah
06:19Yeah
06:207
06:208
06:211
06:224
06:223
06:232
06:24I'm sorry
06:24We're having trouble understanding you
06:267
06:288
06:291
06:29Your number is
06:317
06:322
06:334
06:343
06:364
06:374
06:384
06:394
06:404
06:414
06:419
06:415
06:426
06:436
06:444
06:44Your number is
06:464
06:479
06:485
06:502
06:516
06:522
06:522
06:542
06:552
06:562
06:572
06:582
06:592
07:002
07:002
07:032
07:052
07:062
07:072
07:083
07:092
07:10I got the boobies
07:12I got the boobies
07:14I got the boobies
07:16Big juicy boobies
07:17Boobies
07:192
07:193
07:19Ms.
07:203
07:203
07:203
07:203
07:204
07:212
07:213
07:224
07:223
07:224
07:223
07:22pitch their day to a focus group.
07:24Forgiveness Day takes the pain away.
07:27What are the day when we get together and celebrate pets?
07:30We would have like a bio on all these animals
07:32and it would be, you know, maybe kind of just really go
07:36on like the incorporating, you know, the charity aspect.
07:41I just screwed it up, sorry.
07:43With Kerwin struggling to sell Pet Day,
07:46the others pitch their own ideas.
07:48My idea is a global senior day.
07:51The thing about the global smoothie day is very exciting
07:53is the day that the blender is king.
07:56When was the last time any of you used the blender?
07:59Exactly, you know, you bought it for Christmas.
08:01You're like, what happened to the blender, you know?
08:02Didn't buy your dad, didn't buy you a blender?
08:04What's the problem to make some shoes?
08:06Okay, so how many people for Pet Day?
08:10Pet Day.
08:11Grandparents' Day.
08:13Okay, good, okay.
08:15And Smoothie Day.
08:16Grandparents' Day wins it.
08:18Smoothie idea, I think it was the best idea in the room.
08:20See, that wasn't that difficult.
08:21Patrick, look at me.
08:23Look at me.
08:23This is America.
08:24People vote, it counts, it's done.
08:26Typical bullshit, if I'm honest.
08:27I don't know if I can swear, but I'm gonna swear anyway.
08:29What's the issue?
08:30I don't like pets.
08:32Smoothie's fun.
08:33It's exciting for family, blending things.
08:35Fruit, vegetables, exciting.
08:37You don't have to like it.
08:38And all of my grandparents are dead.
08:40Your personal opinion?
08:41Actually, my grandfather was a war criminal, so.
08:43What were they thinking?
08:45Get it!
08:46No.
08:47Now, that's what I call fresh and meaty.
08:50Hello?
08:51Hello?
08:52Hello?
08:53Hello?
08:54Yes, sir, are you calling the assistance?
08:55What is the problem?
08:56I had two fresh and meaty turkey burger specials.
08:59Hello?
09:00My name is Willie, and in 1991, I requested to have a burger that was both meaty.
09:07Hello?
09:08Hello?
09:09Yes, sir, the computing is going crazy.
09:10I don't know what happened.
09:11Hello?
09:12Oh.
09:13Now, at Fresh and Meaty, you're gonna enjoy a delicious fresh and meaty burger with a
09:14new taste of Mexico.
09:15Enjoy a delicious old beef patty, but this time, with the added meaty burger, you're going
09:20to enjoy a delicious fresh and meaty burger with a new taste of Mexico.
09:25Enjoy a delicious old beef patty, but this time, with the added meaty burger, you're going
09:29with the added spas of the jalapeno, you know?
09:33Hello?
09:34Sir, I'm having a lot of trouble here.
09:36I don't know what is happening.
09:37Tell me, grandma, you've got a fresh and meaty burger of your own.
09:41That's right.
09:42What's in that burger, grandma?
09:44Well, there's bell pepper, onions, and some egg.
09:52Hello?
09:53Hello?
09:54Hello?
09:55Sir, I don't know what is happening.
09:56Are you pressing a button or something?
09:57You're a broken machine.
09:58No.
09:59I'm not pressing.
10:00You want me to pull up to the window?
10:02Calorific values for a fresh and meaty.
10:04Baby fresh burger.
10:051,092 calories.
10:064,800 grams of fat.
10:07Come on.
10:08That's the power of a meaty burger.
10:09That's the power of the sun.
10:10That's you, brother.
10:11Bug, that's the power of the sun.
10:13That's you, brother.
10:18Boom.
10:19The teams have two hours to design a poster, but team Dragonfly are struggling to see eye-to-eye.
10:22This is shit!
10:23Come on!
10:24We have ten minutes to pull this together, guys.
10:25That's beautiful.
10:26We have ten minutes to pull this together, guys.
10:29That's beautiful.
10:30Yeah, that says...
10:31I love that.
10:32Do you like that?
10:33That's so tacky, darling.
10:34Come on.
10:35I think it's really tacky, too.
10:36Load up to the whole picture, and I don't know.
10:38I think it's supposed to look like herpes.
10:40You have seven minutes.
10:42Yeah, but let's try it.
10:43I gave you time to pitch. What did you do?
10:45I don't know how to pitch.
10:47I'm the worst pitcher ever, and I came in and saved your ass like I always do.
10:51Let's focus on the poster. We're focusing on us right now.
10:54Are you focusing on us?
10:55Your management is...
10:56I'm focusing on that.
10:57Look, you're just giving me a mill finger.
10:58Like, how teamwork is that?
11:00Who's the leader here? Who's in charge?
11:02I'm in charge.
11:03Change the colors, and we're done.
11:05That's it.
11:06We're done.
11:07We're done.
11:08The poster needs to be sent to the print shop,
11:10but there's some discussion as to who should take it.
11:13Please go get the poster done and get it done correctly.
11:15You're talking to me like a dog.
11:16I don't care.
11:17Take the USB and go.
11:18I'm gonna be a team player.
11:20There you go. Ridiculous.
11:22He just wants to put his balls out and see how big they are.
11:26You'd like that, wouldn't you?
11:29I think he got crushed on him, to be honest.
11:32Next, it's time for the teams to record their radio advert,
11:36and Cohen returns from the print shop with a proof of their poster.
11:40Final product.
11:41I like it.
11:42Excellent.
11:43Yeah.
11:44Success. Come join our group.
11:45Yeah.
11:46Can I just see the poster again, please?
11:48Do you know appreciation's got an R?
11:50Senior appreciation, though.
11:52What we're gonna do is this.
11:54We're gonna cut off that top part there.
11:56It's just a day to value our seniors.
11:59But now we don't know what date is.
12:00Exactly.
12:01It's a day to value our seniors.
12:02That's the name of our day.
12:03But you signed off on it.
12:04We're cutting off the top.
12:05It's done.
12:06Sit down.
12:07I think we'd just eat the sandwich that we made.
12:08I think that I would never do that.
12:10Should've done a fucking smoothie day.
12:11Trust me.
12:12I'm looking for a wife.
12:14You want to get to know every day, child?
12:15My boy.
12:16Oh, yeah.
12:17You could circle on my deeper.
12:19Oh, yeah.
12:20You could circle on my booty.
12:23Hello.
12:24You could, hello.
12:25You could circle on my fee fee.
12:27Ha.
12:28But only for a small fee.
12:30I said I'll think about it.
12:34And so for one final bolt.
12:37Oh, fine arts, my favorite.
12:40Before my journey comes to a bend.
12:43Welcome.
12:44Brian Bedondi, San Francisco.
12:47And this is Larissa.
12:49I'm Larissa.
12:51Who is that sleeping man?
12:53So just...
12:54Hush you'll wake her.
12:55Just a woman.
12:56Just a woman.
12:57For me, seeing a painting of a sleeping woman,
13:01it makes you want to whisper to raise the voice
13:05in front of such a painting would be an insult to the artist.
13:10Join us after the break.
13:11But we'll be indulging in more of this fine art.
13:15Shall we tiptoe this way?
13:17Let's tiptoe.
13:21Brilliant.
13:22That's great.
13:23Okay, moving on to part two.
13:24That's excellent.
13:25What's the next painting that we should have a look at?
13:28The beginning.
13:29What is the most important painting for you in this collection?
13:32So, but let me talk about this painting, the beginning.
13:34Yes?
13:35What about it?
13:36You see that I like about this painting that, you know, we see the embryo.
13:41Yes, absolutely.
13:42I see it too.
13:43It's really marvelous.
13:44You know, when we are born, we forget about truth.
13:46Yes.
13:47And only moment we remember this truth is when we are embryo.
13:52Yes, no, absolutely.
13:53Especially this bit over here.
13:54Before and after death.
13:55And I mean, this bit over here, especially, it's got a real fluidity to it.
13:59Yeah.
14:00Sorry.
14:01Sorry?
14:02I was talking about, I don't know, that work.
14:05All right.
14:06Not, not, not this one.
14:13Having spent valuable recording time trying to fix their poster, Team Dragonfly only have
14:1820 minutes left to finish their radio advert.
14:20Um.
14:21I don't want your water, darling.
14:23I want your leadership.
14:24You're going to say August 15th, August 15th.
14:26What am I saying?
14:27I want to say August 15th.
14:28August 15th.
14:29August 15th.
14:30August 15th.
14:31You screamed.
14:32Yeah, don't scream.
14:33Scream was energy.
14:34I was going to get some energy, you know.
14:36When it comes, I'm telling you.
14:37Nobody likes it.
14:38Don't do it.
14:39August 15th.
14:40August 15th.
14:41Do a different one.
14:42Just a little lower.
14:43That's it.
14:44I thought you were a little bit lower energy, to be honest.
14:47Okay, let's go.
14:48August 18th.
14:49No.
14:50August 15th.
14:51Stop.
14:52Oh, shit.
14:53Sorry.
14:54I forgive you.
14:55The other team are working harmoniously on their jingle.
14:59I forgive you.
15:00But Team Dragonfly have just two minutes to finish theirs, and are missing a vital backing
15:06track.
15:07It would have been better with music.
15:08I need to put the music.
15:09I have to have the music.
15:10This is called real life.
15:11And when somebody asks for something.
15:12This is called bullshit.
15:13If we don't put the music on, I'm going to quit.
15:14I'm going to quit.
15:15There's the door.
15:16I've had enough of this.
15:17All of it.
15:18I get two words.
15:19Timeline.
15:20You say timeline one more time, I'm going to leave the room.
15:22Timeline.
15:23No.
15:24Come on.
15:25Come on.
15:26We don't need to lose a member.
15:27You tell whoever needs to be told that I've had enough of this, okay?
15:30And you can keep that fucking camera out of my face as well.
15:32I told you guys to stop fighting a million times, and you didn't stop fighting.
15:35I've never been so insulted in all my life.
15:37You're fighting over crap, and it's negative.
15:40You don't even let people finish their sentence or do anything.
15:44That's not true.
15:45Yeah.
15:46Yes, it is.
15:47Well, with the satirist, you can eat my shit.
15:49You treat it like a piece of shit.
15:51You talk to people like shit.
15:52Jesus Christ.
15:54Fuck it.
15:55You had a task, and you didn't complete it.
15:58Oh, honey, my commercial's done.
15:59Your shit's fucked up.
16:00Live to forgive.
16:02Live to forgive.
16:04I thought that was great.
16:06But listen, I'd like very much to discuss this painting.
16:14But I'm unable to do so unless we push the cameras right back to get the full scope of the painting,
16:19because these cameras are cheap.
16:21They give me cheap cameras to film the expensive things.
16:25We need space, okay?
16:27I agree.
16:28But in order to register the sound on the camera, we may have to speak slightly louder.
16:31Is that all right?
16:32Yeah.
16:33Do you prefer to close the door?
16:35Why don't you close the door?
16:36Great.
16:37A lady who understands acoustics.
16:38Brilliant.
16:39I want you to go right back, Joe.
16:41Right back.
16:42Really?
16:43Just tell me when you get the whole picture in.
16:47Just let me know when.
16:52Let me know.
16:56Really?
16:57For fuck's sake.
16:58No, I want everything.
17:00Even a bit of the floor.
17:02Yes?
17:03Okay.
17:04Welcome back.
17:05Before the break.
17:06Sometime life can be sweet.
17:07Sometime life can be sour.
17:08Sometime you'll meet a girl.
17:09Sometime you'll see her flower.
17:10Then you'll look down and she got cock and balls.
17:11I can't believe it.
17:12It's day two.
17:13And all are heading for the boardroom.
17:16Not fucking.
17:17Dad, you're all right?
17:18Jesus Christ.
17:19Let's go.
17:20Where's the limo?
17:21Why'd you get a helicopter?
17:22Fine, I know.
17:23You're only across the room.
17:24You're only across the room.
17:25Sometimes you'll meet a girl.
17:26Sometime you'll meet a girl.
17:27Sometime you'll meet a girl.
17:28Sometime you'll see her flower.
17:29Sometime you'll see her flower.
17:30Then you'll look down and she got cock and balls.
17:31I can't believe it.
17:32It's day two.
17:33And all are heading for the boardroom.
17:35No, fuck him.
17:36Dad, you're the worthy.
17:38Dad, you all right?
17:39Jesus Christ.
17:40Let's go.
17:41Where's the limo?
17:42Why'd you get a helicopter?
17:43Fine, I know.
17:44You're only across the room.
17:46Hang about.
17:47I can't be wearing one of my tights.
17:49I never said you could get into my closet and open my tights.
17:54He still goes into my cupboard, you know?
17:57He's always in there, like, looking out for my little playboy, aren't you?
18:00Eh?
18:01Eh?
18:02When he found his little winky the first time.
18:05Have you got your blanket, Lionel?
18:07What blanket?
18:08You know your blanket.
18:09What do we used to call his blanket?
18:11It's wanky blanket.
18:12Wanky blanket.
18:13Huh?
18:14Wanky blanket.
18:15Wanky blanket.
18:16Never mind.
18:17Who's a good boy?
18:18Huh?
18:19Wanky blanket.
18:20Who's a good boy?
18:21Hello.
18:22Hello.
18:23Hello.
18:24I didn't know Mr. Terry.
18:26Ah.
18:27Here I am.
18:28Hey, you are.
18:30Fuck me.
18:31Who's up first?
18:33We are Capricorn.
18:34We are Capricorn.
18:35Let's get on to the, er, the way away.
18:36Let's do that.
18:37Forgiveness game.
18:38Forgiveness game.
18:39Forgiveness game.
18:40Forgiveness game.
18:41Forgiveness game.
18:42Forgiveness game.
18:43Forgiveness game.
18:44All right, turn it off.
18:45Turn it off.
18:46It sounds like a cat getting run over.
18:47Yeah?
18:48For a very long period of time.
18:49Forgiveness game.
18:50Forgiveness game.
18:51All right, turn it off.
18:52Turn it off.
18:53It sounds like a cat getting run over.
18:56Yeah?
18:57For a very long period of time.
18:58That cat did not die quickly.
19:01Dragonfly.
19:02Poster design.
19:03Talk to me.
19:04Okay.
19:05For our poster, we decided...
19:06It looks like a mess.
19:08And it's misspelled.
19:11You sign it off?
19:12I signed it off.
19:13It is my mistake.
19:14You signed it off.
19:15Again.
19:16Yes.
19:17Yes.
19:18Like that.
19:19Yes.
19:20As was.
19:21Yes.
19:22Like that.
19:23Exactly.
19:24Right.
19:25Yep.
19:26Right.
19:27Dad, I've just found my notes from the brainstorm.
19:28Eh?
19:29Gay baby day.
19:30Tells me.
19:31I think it's very marketable.
19:32Gay baby day.
19:33Correct.
19:34I think there's a generation of people.
19:35There's lots of gay babies knocking around.
19:36Are there?
19:37Flights in the bag.
19:38Where's my bottle?
19:39Eh?
19:40I need my nappy changed.
19:41Well, I think it's an...
19:42Orgasm day.
19:43It's offline.
19:44Oh, fucking hell, she's on fire.
19:45Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:46I can't wait for orgasm day.
19:47When's that on, eh?
19:48Every day should be fucking orgasm day in my house.
19:49I'll tell you that.
19:50Gay baby day and orgasm day.
19:51Eh?
19:52They shouldn't connect to the other separately.
19:53Oh, no, I fucking hope not.
19:54Do you want my body?
19:55Yeah.
19:56Do I put some sauce on it for you?
19:57Mmm.
19:58You know, when I'm feeling hungry, I like nothing more than sinking my teeth into a fresh and
20:03meaty burger.
20:04Ooh.
20:05Ooh.
20:06The way that special sauce just drips down my throat.
20:09I think you are fresh.
20:10Ooh.
20:11I think you are fresh.
20:12Ooh.
20:13I think you are needed.
20:14So fresh as I needed.
20:16Together as one.
20:18Y'all need help.
20:19That's about to put my coke in your mouth.
20:20That's completely unusable.
20:21So Terry will see you now.
20:47I gave you a task, a telly lot gave you me, yeah?
20:58Forgiveness Day, shit poster, and a jingle that's quite frankly unforgivable.
21:12Appreciation thing, good idea, by what it took to get there, disgraceful.
21:21And this is as far as you're gonna go.
21:25You think this is an American dream? Let me tell you, from where I'm from, it's nothing but a fucking nightmare.
21:33You're all fired!
21:38Beautiful, go on, fuck you know, time for shit.
21:42Alright, let's get you an ice cream, aye?
21:45Is that a work of art or is that a working piano?
21:48Working piano, so you can try this.
21:51Me?
21:53So maybe you can play too.
21:55Play the piano?
21:56Yes, play the piano.
21:58If you insist.
21:59Yes.
22:00Then Brian has no choice.
22:02It's been 40 years nearly since I sat behind a grand piano and conducted my soul through my fingers onto the keys and created beautiful, beautiful music.
22:17I play this not just for you, but for everyone. For world peace.
22:36That's all yeah?
22:37Let's take a walk around.
22:38I hope I did not.
22:39Let's take a walk.
22:40Then I'm going to dwell on the floor.
22:41Let's take a walk.
22:45Let's go ahead and change the peace.
22:46Let's take a walk.
22:47Let's take a walk.
22:48Let's take a walk around.
22:49Let's take a walk.
22:51Let's take a walk.
22:53I think I'm gonna get to a walk.
22:55Then come in and take a walk.
22:58Let's take a walk.
23:00and so good neighbors become good friends
23:21that was art
23:23this is Brian Bedonde saying
23:26goodbye
23:28and good luck
23:30you
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