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Tv, Facejacker Season 1 Episode 5

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😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Successful entrepreneur Terry Tibbs is a millionaire.
00:30Oh, look at that. Where's it gone?
00:32Sorry about that. Sorry.
00:33For the past 25 years, he's been building a fortune in the second-hand car business.
00:38Family car.
00:39Talk to me.
00:39Luxury car.
00:40Talk to me.
00:41He's made an extraordinary decision.
00:43You just wanted to go on a nice walk, didn't you?
00:45For 10 days, he's going to leave his work and family life behind.
00:48What are you doing?
00:49Don't talk that right about you.
00:50And live undercover in one of Britain's most deprived areas.
00:54Oh, fucking hell.
00:55He's going to become part of a community in Swansea, Wales.
00:58Let's see what you guys have got in store for me, right?
01:01Oh, our sweet kitchen.
01:04Whilst he's in Swansea, Terry will be living on the equivalent of state benefits.
01:07Take a millionaire, put him in his shithole, feed him beans, right?
01:11Cut out of bits where he's farting like a bastard because you fed him beans.
01:15No one he meets will know that Terry Tibbs is a very wealthy man.
01:19Oh, oh, it's cold.
01:21Oh, oh.
01:21But by the end of his stay, he'll give away thousands of pounds of his own money.
01:25Beautiful.
01:27Oh, that's good.
01:30Terry Tibbs is the secret millionaire.
01:36The biggest challenge, man, is convincing the fuckers that I'm not who I say I am.
01:42So what's your plan, then, to get around it?
01:46Go out of the skies.
01:47Shalom.
01:49Shalom.
01:51Pool, people.
01:53Looking for the pool.
01:55Do you know any charitable causes I might be able to visit?
01:59Yes, I tried to shop right there.
02:00You tried to shop there?
02:01Aye?
02:02Right, you got coins in, aye?
02:03We're doing a documentary for Channel 4.
02:05Basically, I just moved to the area.
02:06Oh, you have?
02:07Yeah, I have, yeah.
02:08And that's a fake beer, isn't it?
02:09Aye?
02:10Is that fake?
02:10No, no, it's not.
02:12Hello there, you all right?
02:14Hello, how are you?
02:15Smells a bit boozy here.
02:16You girls like to booze first thing in the morning, eh?
02:19But I could definitely smell a can of special booze somewhere.
02:22Which one are you starting there, eh?
02:23No, he's not.
02:24Excuse me, we don't drink.
02:26I could definitely smell a can of special something.
02:28No, honestly, there isn't any drinks here.
02:30I walked in there, I smelled the booze on them.
02:31I smelled the booze on their breaths.
02:33I think it's very sad that, you know, ladies like that,
02:36uh, clearly a new boy, you know, whilst doing a charitable thing, you know.
02:41I can still smell it, you know.
02:42I mean, it's in my nose now.
02:44I don't know what to do about it.
02:46You smell that?
02:47Just booze it.
02:50To my left, to my right.
02:53Absolute disgrace.
02:54Now, spades.
02:54Level two, selected.
03:04Level one's selected, actually.
03:06Stand clear.
03:07The doors are now closing.
03:09Stand clear.
03:10The doors are now closing.
03:20Please select a floor.
03:22Oh, for fuck's sake.
03:23Level two, selected.
03:25Ground floors, ground one.
03:27Letter two, selected.
03:29Doors opening.
03:32Hello, operator.
03:33Can I connect your car, please?
03:35No, it's the lift.
03:35I'm stuck in the lift.
03:37I'm sorry?
03:37I'm stuck in the lift.
03:39It won't open the doors.
03:41We're stuck in lift?
03:42Yes.
03:43Okay, hold on.
03:44I'm putting you through to a relevant department, okay?
03:47Oh, brilliant.
03:48Hold on, one moment, please.
03:49Hello, fish can.
03:54So, Amar speaking, how can I help?
03:55Yeah, I'm stuck in a lift.
03:57Right, mate, this is the fish can at Sainsbury's, yeah?
04:00How can I help?
04:01I'm stuck in a lift.
04:02You know, is anyone maintenance, security, anybody?
04:05Oh, you want maintenance and security, yeah?
04:07That's what I need.
04:07I'm stuck in a lift.
04:09Oh, you're stuck in a lift, mate?
04:10Yeah.
04:11Oh, right, okay.
04:12Fuck's sake.
04:13Who should I put him through to?
04:14He's stuck in a lift.
04:16Yeah, he's proper lad stuck in a lift.
04:18Mate, this isn't a wind-up, yeah?
04:19No, fuck's sake, I'm stuck in a lift.
04:22Right, okay, mate.
04:23Sorry, man.
04:23Calm as shit, yeah?
04:24Okay, let's have that thing.
04:25All right, two six, bro.
04:26Two six.
04:29Are you looking for somewhere to take the family?
04:31Why not bring them to Jackson Square Shopping Centre?
04:34Come in for a hot cappuccino.
04:36A glass of cold cola.
04:38Or just a piece of quiche.
04:40I'd like to make a complaint, please.
04:43I believe I'm being filmed.
04:45During my journey through Bart,
04:48I have tasted the Baganay
04:50and the Bextasy.
04:54But now it's time for a new flavor
04:56as I burrow deep
04:58into the Bartistic underground
05:01to sample Bip Pop.
05:03That's you, but who are these two?
05:05Nah, it's not me.
05:06And this is Brandy MC, right?
05:07Right, right, right, right.
05:08No, don't graffiti on the next man's door.
05:10It's the police, it's the police.
05:12When I learned that the pen really is
05:15bitier than the sword.
05:17And so, our search has brought us
05:25to the Biting Hill estate in Beast London,
05:29where I'm here to breed
05:30a real life
05:32Bim C.
05:34Brian Bedondi, thank you so much for
05:36allowing me to
05:37learn from you.
05:40Now, this man, your name, please?
05:41My name is Nappy.
05:43Nappy, right.
05:45Nappy.
05:45Nappy.
05:46Right.
05:47As in...
05:48As in Nappy.
05:49Pampus.
05:50Nappy.
05:50Right.
05:53All right, you ready, yeah?
05:54Breath, I'm ready.
05:55All right.
05:56I'm going to give you a Tic Tac
05:57because you need to, like,
05:58clean your breath
05:59and I'm really wondering
06:00where you really got your crepes.
06:02My breath?
06:03Yeah, your breath.
06:05My breath smells.
06:11You're not going to smell it like that.
06:13Look down there,
06:14you stand on the spot.
06:17Come upstairs
06:18and I'll smack your hairy butt.
06:21How's that?
06:22Is that all right?
06:23In a MC battle,
06:24it's wrong to talk about slapping arses.
06:26Don't go to a MC battle
06:28wearing them clothes
06:29and them glasses.
06:31Slapping arses?
06:32Yeah, because you said
06:33you wanted to slap my bum,
06:34isn't it, so...
06:36No, but it...
06:37Obviously, I'm just saying
06:37I had to send one back, you know.
06:38I know, but I...
06:39It's the MC battle.
06:40Not now, though, you know.
06:41No, I wouldn't let you anyway.
06:43No, no, no, I'm sure.
06:44No, later, maybe.
06:45No, no.
06:45A few drinks or something.
06:46No, no.
06:50It's coming at you!
06:52So, I suppose you've got to do
06:53the shot of me
06:54in the working man's club.
06:55Back in Swansea,
06:56secret millionaire Terry
06:57tries to get some tips
06:58from the locals
06:59in his search for a good cause.
07:01Hello!
07:02How are you doing?
07:03You all right?
07:04My name's Zoe.
07:04Nice to meet you.
07:05Pleased to meet you.
07:06What's your name?
07:07Elvis.
07:07Elvis?
07:08Of course you are.
07:08Yeah, that's quite a quiff.
07:10I haven't seen a quiff
07:11like that since, uh,
07:12sixty-four.
07:13Yeah.
07:15My first wife.
07:16Yeah.
07:17What's the best ones
07:18you like to love?
07:20Anything but the council.
07:21Oh, yeah.
07:24Terry and the locals
07:27soon bond.
07:28I'm a bow-legged chicken,
07:30I'm a knock-kneed hen.
07:32I've never been so happy
07:34since I don't know when.
07:36We walk with a whittle
07:37and we walk with a wank.
07:39We are the Swansea,
07:41not bank.
07:43We had a little, uh,
07:44we had a tune like that
07:45in, uh,
07:46in the old Goldest Queen,
07:47you know.
07:47Yeah, what do you call?
07:49At, uh,
07:50when I'm at, uh,
07:52oh, uh,
07:53we are the Jews
07:56of Goldest Queen.
07:59We're not like
08:01of the Jews
08:02you have seen.
08:04We like to eat
08:05a filter fish.
08:08Now look at this,
08:10it's a
08:10fishy dish.
08:14It's all you.
08:15God bless you always.
08:16God bless.
08:16God bless you.
08:18God bless you.
08:23Oh, mate.
08:24Magic.
08:24Wizard 2.
08:25Oh, my.
08:25Take care.
08:26Bye-bye.
08:27It's been an interesting
08:28first day, you know.
08:29Well, it's gonna be a hard week.
08:31When time's a hard,
08:33you need to, uh,
08:33you know,
08:34count back on the old spending.
08:36We should have won it.
08:38Huh?
08:39Please round.
08:40Apple, Apple,
08:41please select a phone.
08:42No!
08:45Hello?
08:45Hello.
08:46Yes, uh,
08:46this is person
08:47who is stuck in lift.
08:48Yes.
08:49Yes, hello.
08:50I have, uh,
08:51someone here
08:51who is from maintenance.
08:54Yeah.
08:59Hello?
09:00Hello?
09:00Yes, this is Janek,
09:02um, maintenance man
09:03for the lift.
09:05Yeah.
09:05Yes, hello.
09:06Um, what button there is
09:08on side of lift?
09:09You've got a fan,
09:12uh, doors open,
09:13doors closed.
09:13Door open.
09:14Okay, great.
09:15Try to open door
09:16with door open, please.
09:18Nothing.
09:20Anything happening there?
09:21No, nothing.
09:22Okay, I, I'm going to put you
09:24through to chief engineer,
09:25okay?
09:25I mean, someone should be able
09:26to come and open it
09:27from outside, surely.
09:28I know, uh, but the person
09:30he has at wedding at the moment.
09:32Yes.
09:32Fucking wedding.
09:35Coming through now, please.
09:36Thank you, please.
09:37Coming through now, please.
09:37Thank you, please.
09:38Coming through now, please.
09:39Thank you, please.
09:41Uh, would you mind
09:42asking the theater people
09:43to put the ramp out for me?
09:44I'll give you five pounds
09:45for it.
09:46Off you go.
09:47Oh, shit.
09:51And we're in.
09:52Lovely.
09:52Thank you very much.
09:53Thank you very much indeed.
09:55Hi, how are you?
09:56Uh, I'm here to see, uh,
09:58the Kelly Brooke.
09:59Right.
10:00Yes, I spoke to her agent
10:01and everything's, uh,
10:02everything's fine.
10:04How are you tonight?
10:05I'm all right.
10:06How are you?
10:06I'm very well, thank you.
10:07Yes, very excited,
10:09um, uh, to, uh, to, uh,
10:11to, um, uh, to, uh,
10:12to see Kelly.
10:14Uh, have you seen the show?
10:15She, she's apparently,
10:16uh, the, the, the average
10:18in it.
10:19Yes.
10:20So how much for a choc ice?
10:22Um, I don't sell those.
10:24Do you not?
10:25Sure.
10:25Oh, right.
10:25What are you, what are you selling?
10:26Leukemia research.
10:27Oh, right.
10:28Oh, excellent.
10:29Excellent.
10:29Leukemia, yes.
10:30It's a, uh, just a worthy cause.
10:32Do you have a tissue?
10:32Sorry, my nose is running
10:33into my mouth.
10:35It's very salty.
10:36Are you an actress?
10:37Yes, I am.
10:38Oh, you are excellent.
10:38Well, you know,
10:39I may well have the part.
10:40I mean, there's a small part
10:41in, uh, in, uh,
10:42in the, uh, in the, uh,
10:43in the first part of the, uh,
10:44the film.
10:45Uh, yes, yes.
10:46So have I got the squid right here?
10:47It's, uh, the, uh, the, no.
10:49Uh, uh, the, uh, the, uh,
10:52uh, uh, the, uh, the, uh,
10:53the, uh, the, the...
10:54Yes, that's it.
10:56Twenty, uh, $29.99.
10:57Oh, wow.
10:58It's the, uh,
10:59well, it's a science fiction-y
11:00kind of romantic comedy
11:01kind of, uh, the, the thriller-y.
11:03You know, it's cancer-y.
11:04It's, uh, leukemia-y.
11:05It's all those things, really.
11:07You know, it's a bit AIDS-y.
11:08No, no, no, you can't.
11:09Not that one.
11:09No, no, no, sorry.
11:10That's confidential.
11:10That, that, that, you know,
11:12Kelly Book would kill me
11:13if she knew that, uh, you know,
11:14I'd given the part to a choc-eye seller.
11:17You know, she'd be very offended
11:18by that, you know.
11:20Sorry.
11:22Sorry, I'm on your way there.
11:23Sorry.
11:25My ramp is ready, apparently,
11:26and the ramp is around the back.
11:28Thank you, Zoe.
11:29How much are the Maltesers, please?
11:31Uh, they're three pounds.
11:32Right, that's an absolute disgrace.
11:34Three pounds for some Maltesers?
11:35Why would you be wanting to pay
11:36three pounds for some
11:38chocolate-covered air?
11:39That's double outrage
11:41on an outrageous scale.
11:43I'll, I'll be telling Kelly about this.
11:45I'm a legitimate businessman.
11:48It's secret millionaire
11:49Terry's eighth day in Swansea.
11:51I'm going to get a few, please.
11:52Get back in sandwich.
11:54Having had no luck so far
11:56in his quest for a worthy cause,
11:58he finds a potential option
11:59in a local caf.
12:00Ferrer, where your donation goes?
12:05Please consider making a donation
12:08to help our work
12:09with stride and unwanted dogs.
12:12I love dogs.
12:12Do you know anything about this,
12:14the, the, the Hope West...
12:15I just walked in.
12:16I'm ready, yeah?
12:18Well, just do a bit of revision
12:19and then pretend like you're doing it, yeah?
12:20It makes good, tell me.
12:21Hope Westcues is entirely self-funded
12:24and relies on fundraising donations.
12:28What am I supposed to say?
12:30Oh, fucking hell.
12:31Hope Westcues is entirely self-funded
12:34and relies on fundraising donations
12:36to pay for our work.
12:40Sorry, Dolly.
12:40You...
12:41Oh, fucking hell.
12:43Hope Westcues is an entirely self-funded charity
12:46and it helps dogs.
12:49I know that, I know that charity.
12:51See, that's a well-worth charity.
12:52Oh, yeah?
12:53Yeah.
12:53Well, I'll, uh, I'll volunteer today.
12:56That's what I call a sequel millionaire.
13:00Jackson Square Shopping Center
13:02is now open seven days a week.
13:05That's Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,
13:11Saturday, and...
13:13Now, phase two.
13:15Let's get really personal.
13:17Go on, let's get personal.
13:18I am Brian, 47 years old, homosexual, and proud.
13:26Would you use my sexuality against me
13:29in a Bermzee battle?
13:31Yeah.
13:32Right.
13:33I'm ready.
13:34Are you?
13:36Let's do it.
13:37Really and truly, it doesn't bother me
13:39which way you swing.
13:40As long as it don't come my way,
13:42you might get the back of the ring.
13:45Back of...
13:46Back of the ring.
13:46Back of your ring.
13:50I'm not one talking like that.
13:52What do you mean?
13:53Back of the ring.
13:54You know, a ring on someone's finger.
13:55Oh, on the finger?
13:56Yeah.
13:57Oh, right, sorry.
13:58I thought you meant the back of your ring.
14:00There's no way I would have meant the back of my ring.
14:02Think of...
14:03Right, sorry.
14:04Something close to...
14:05Okay, no, no, no, right.
14:05I understand.
14:06Sorry.
14:06I went nappy.
14:08Just to clarify,
14:09nappy's original verse was,
14:10it doesn't matter which way you swing.
14:13There's no way you're coming to the backside of my ring.
14:15That's not what I said.
14:17I said if you come this way,
14:18you'll get the back of the ring.
14:20I know.
14:21There's no rings there.
14:23No, there is.
14:24No, no, but...
14:25No, don't.
14:26All right, no.
14:26Okay.
14:27No, that's what you said.
14:28Okay.
14:29Surely.
14:30So let's just avoid rings from...
14:31Yeah, avoid the ring.
14:32Right.
14:33Well, you mentioned it, darling.
14:34Hello.
14:44Hello.
14:44Hello.
14:45Is that man stuck in lift?
14:46That's me.
14:47Hello.
14:48I got maintenance man on phone here for you.
14:52Oh, it's both the two maintenance men.
14:54No, I know.
14:54I just want to get out.
14:55I know he has to go through me fast.
14:56Okay, I'm putting you through now, okay?
14:59Hello, mate.
15:00Sorry about that.
15:00Hello.
15:01All right.
15:02Tell me.
15:03Good news, yeah?
15:03No.
15:04You're still in there?
15:05Yeah.
15:06Right, okay.
15:07Usually there's a key outside, so I can't put a key in and the door opens.
15:09No, no, no.
15:10The thing is, right, we put the key out there, yeah?
15:12And the kids are coming and nicking.
15:14Can you believe that?
15:15Well, surely you got one.
15:16Well, we have one, yeah, but you got nicked.
15:28You have to wait until the end of the show, I'm afraid, because you have to get ready.
15:31End of the show?
15:32Yeah.
15:32No, no, no, but I was clearly told by Miss Brooke's agent that I was to deliver the script
15:38directly here.
15:39Okay.
15:40One second.
15:40Yes.
15:41Do you work at the theater?
15:43Yes.
15:44You do?
15:44Yes, yes.
15:45Oh, right.
15:45Stage head, yes.
15:46I'm an actress.
15:47Oh, you're an actress.
15:48Oh, right, I see, I see, yes.
15:51No, I thought you were just one of the stage managers or something, you know, helping out,
15:55you know, a quick cigarette before you have to pull the curtain up.
15:57I know it's very heavy, you know, with the rope, and sometimes you get chafed fingers.
16:01Yes, yes, yes, indeed, yes, yes.
16:03Yes.
16:04I know, I've got to go and get ready.
16:05Right, well, are you going to be seeing Miss Brooke?
16:07Are you going to be seeing Miss Brooke?
16:08Because I've got the script here, you see?
16:10I've got the script here, and there's really a script here.
16:12There will be none.
16:13Don't you scare them off now?
16:15Excuse me.
16:16Hey.
16:17You scared them off.
16:18He was talking to me, and you scared them off with your pen and your autograph hunting equipment.
16:25Sorry?
16:26I don't speak Samoan.
16:31Do you want to make long Samoans?
16:33Yes, indeed.
16:35Having finally found a charity he believes in,
16:37Terry bonds with volunteer Susie over their shared love of dogs.
16:41So, what we do is, the pounds will have the dogs for seven days,
16:45and they could be stray dogs that are picked up,
16:47they could be dogs that are surrendered,
16:49they could even be dogs that people will throw over the fence into the pounds.
16:53You're fucking joking.
16:54In a bag, or just like a...
16:55Ah, just, or tie them up to the lamppost outside the pound.
16:58Like a frisbee?
16:59Like a, sort of like a frisbee.
17:01You find me the guy that takes a dog by,
17:05and throws him over a fence,
17:07like a frisbee.
17:09I will, I will tie that man,
17:12I will tie him to pieces,
17:14with my bare hands.
17:15Well, I'm with you there.
17:16That's for the record, that's for the quote, yeah?
17:19We say that we're a nation of animal lovers.
17:21We are, we are.
17:21Except for the fucker,
17:22they took that dog and threw him over the fence like a frisbee.
17:25Okay.
17:27I had a dog, King Charles.
17:28Ah, pretty little dog.
17:30Yeah, every time I say King Charles,
17:31they just, you know,
17:32boost back all the memories for, for, for little Maltesite.
17:37Some of the dogs I saw in there,
17:39they, they really,
17:41really, really, really just reminded me of Maltesite,
17:43you know, in so many ways, you know.
17:45What, what happened to Maltesite?
17:48He died.
17:50What, what, how, what, how did Maltesite die?
17:51He was moored,
17:53by squirrels.
17:54He was what?
17:55Moored by squirrels.
17:57They just took him to pieces, you know,
17:58he's, uh,
18:02he only had one leg.
18:05He's on wheels.
18:07I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
18:08I'm sorry.
18:12Ah!
18:15Ah!
18:20Ah!
18:26Name's Badandi.
18:28Bad Badandi.
18:30I like
18:31many things.
18:34But one thing I like more than anything else
18:36is cock.
18:38Did it be a handshake?
18:40There's no handshake, it's just that.
18:42Just that?
18:42Yeah.
18:44Really?
18:45So,
18:45when in a, um,
18:48in an estate here,
18:49at the, um,
18:50in East London,
18:52um,
18:52people don't shake hands.
18:54They fist.
18:54Well, they shake hands.
18:55They what?
18:56They fist.
18:57Depends on
18:58who the person is,
18:59if he's my close friend.
19:00You give him a fisting.
19:01Give him a hug.
19:01You get me, that's my boy there.
19:03A hug and then a fist,
19:04or?
19:04No, just a hug,
19:05and then say hello to other people.
19:08But does the fist come into it?
19:09I mean,
19:09when do you give someone a fisting?
19:10I don't mean fisting as in like that.
19:14I mean fist as...
19:15Nappy,
19:16what damn kind of name is that be?
19:20You should wrap yourself around a toddler's bum, see?
19:23You're talking about bums you can just focus on.
19:25Sorry, sorry, sorry.
19:26I just,
19:27I don't know what's wrong with me tonight.
19:28That's why they call me Toey Tibbs.
19:32Once he's composed himself,
19:34Terry begins his duty as a volunteer.
19:36Before this dog ever gets rehomed,
19:38we'll get this little dog neutered.
19:39Let's do it.
19:40We're not going to do it now.
19:41No, we're just going to go there.
19:43Yeah, yeah, so I've got a bit of volunteer.
19:45We've got a bit enthusiastic.
19:47He probably thinks he's about to get a circumcision, huh?
19:49Yeah, you know that we're not neutering right now.
19:51No, I know, I know.
19:52Dogs don't have full skin, sir.
19:55Oh, Lord, a little man.
19:57Oh, yeah.
19:58Beautiful.
19:58Oh, yeah.
19:59Lovely.
19:59Sorry.
20:00Sorry about that.
20:01Why don't we call him Mr. Tibbs?
20:04Hey, Mr. Tibbs.
20:06Huh?
20:07Hey, Mr. Tibbs.
20:08Hey, Lacey, you see?
20:09He gave you a kiss there.
20:10Did you get that?
20:11Give me a kiss.
20:11Give me a kiss.
20:12Give me a kiss.
20:13Good boy.
20:14There we go.
20:15Beautiful.
20:15Back at the bedsit on his last night in Swansea,
20:18Terry's got some tough decisions to make.
20:20Last couple of days have really opened my eyes.
20:23Yeah.
20:23Oh, yeah.
20:24Definitely.
20:25Definitely.
20:26Have I learned a lot?
20:27Absolutely.
20:27Would I come back?
20:30No fucking chance.
20:33So what?
20:34Doing extras?
20:35So...
20:36Just asking.
20:39My name's Brian Patongi, and when I suffer from brats, I take new quiddly punk pills.
20:48Take one a day, three a day, four times a day.
20:50That's $29.99.
20:53Yes?
20:53What's that?
20:53Now, there's the sequel to $29.99.
20:56Yes?
20:57That's $39.99.
20:58Right?
20:59And this is the prequel.
21:00And this is the prequel, $2.99.
21:01Okay.
21:02Now, it may be $2.99.
21:03Or we may have to go with the...
21:07The worm.
21:13Okay?
21:14It's a psychological thriller.
21:17Miss Brooke.
21:17Miss Brooke.
21:17Is that Miss Brooke?
21:18Yeah, Miss Brooke.
21:19Are you going to see Miss Brooke?
21:20Wait, wait, wait.
21:21Wait.
21:21Listen, you have to get these scripts.
21:23Give me that.
21:24These scripts must get to Miss Brooke.
21:26Great.
21:27Bye-bye.
21:28Oh, shit.
21:30Oh, God.
21:31Ow.
21:32Shit.
21:33It's stuck.
21:34Can you help me, please?
21:35Just give me a...
21:36Just...
21:37No, it doesn't...
21:38It's not going to work.
21:39Oh, God.
21:40It's not going to work.
21:41No, it's...
21:42Oh, God.
21:43That's fine.
21:45You saved my life.
21:46Would you like a part in the film?
21:48This guy comes out.
21:49This guy comes out.
21:50This guy comes out.
21:51This guy comes out.
21:52This guy comes out.
21:53This guy comes out to me.
21:54He says, you are parked on a yellow, sir.
21:57Just like that.
21:58Must be crazy.
21:59Looked like he lived in the 80s.
22:01Go on, your turn.
22:06Oh, my God.
22:07It's Babu Hamza.
22:08He stood on the corner of a showdy mamza.
22:10What's that?
22:11I don't bloody know.
22:12But never mind.
22:13It's my show.
22:14Brian's show.
22:15Here we are.
22:16On the back street.
22:17With a man.
22:18With a big beak.
22:19And he stood there.
22:20In his hoodie.
22:21And his crates.
22:22And his crates.
22:23And he looks like.
22:24He's got a hoodie.
22:25For me.
22:26Oh, dear.
22:27I didn't think he was queer.
22:29But he might be.
22:30But I doubt it very much.
22:31That's all right.
22:32It's time for lunch.
22:33I'm Brian Bedondi.
22:34See you after the break.
22:35Hang about.
22:36I'll press this button.
22:37Anything open now, mate?
22:38Nothing.
22:39Hold on.
22:40What about this?
22:41That's it.
22:42The green one.
22:43The green one.
22:44Hang on.
22:45The door's open.
22:46You're quitting.
22:47The door's open.
22:48Anything now, mate?
22:49No, I'm out.
22:50Anything at all?
22:51I'm out.
22:52Hello?
22:53I'm out, man.
22:54I've lost it.
22:55I've lost it.
22:56Can you get him back?
22:57Oh, fuck it.
23:00I've got to decide who's getting the money.
23:03Now, it's been hard.
23:05It's been tough.
23:06But I've got a good idea who's getting what.
23:10I haven't been completely honest with you.
23:17I'm not actually a Hasidic joke from Golders Queen.
23:23No.
23:24I'm actually, uh, a second-hand car salesman from Whitmersworth.
23:34And I'm also a millionaire.
23:39And I'd like to give you, I'd like to give you, uh, a cheque for 50,000 pounds.
23:51Um, because I love you.
23:56That's, that's for you.
23:59I'm gonna go now, um.
24:03And I'll miss you.
24:06But I know you're spending money right.
24:13Right, I'm going now.
24:14I love you, buddy.
24:17Shut up.
24:18I love you.
24:24Fuckin' hell.
24:25Unbelievable.
24:26Right, I've had enough.
24:27Let's go on.
24:28Let's go on.
24:31That was Bappy.
24:34Brought you live.
24:35From me, Brian Bodondi.
24:37Here.
24:38On the Bitingale Estate.
24:40In the heart.
24:41Of B6.
24:44Probably E3.
24:48Very kind of you.
24:51Cool. It's cool. It's cool. It's cool. Yeah.
24:52It's cool. It's cool. It's cool. Yeah.
24:53Perfect.
24:56Boo!
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