00:00Here, Dave!
00:01Wow, a stocking full of five-hour energy shots?
00:04Yeah, it's actually got all the holiday flavors inside of it,
00:07and you know, I stayed up all night wrapping that soap, could you?
00:10Sure.
00:11Oh, no, no, I said all night.
00:14Oh, for God's sakes.
00:15Stabbed in the ass at Walmart.
00:30You can only hope.
00:32No, you don't.
00:34This is a guy who claims when he sat down on a Walmart toilet...
00:40Oh, no, I've been there.
00:43...who is stabbed with syringes.
00:45Oh, my God, no.
00:48Are you kidding?
00:49No.
00:50Walker told me I had AIDS.
00:51That's all I'd be thinking.
00:53You do, because you do.
00:56Because you do, Dave.
00:57Police in Farmington, New Mexico are investigating claims by 51-year-old Jason Roth,
01:03who reported being stabbed by syringes taped to a Walmart toilet.
01:08Here's the picture from the police department.
01:11Oh, my God, no, my God, no.
01:14He told...
01:15My fat ass would be injected up.
01:18What is in me?
01:20What kind of sweet heroin am I into now?
01:22He told officers he sat down in the toilet and immediately felt the syringes against his skin.
01:28Dude, you could probably rig that to really do some terrible things to people.
01:33The syringes contained pink fluid.
01:36What is in the fluid?
01:38Fluid, man.
01:39And were attached with medical tape.
01:41So that's legit the actual photo of this?
01:46Yes, it's from the Farmington Police Department.
01:48Oh, my God, that's terrifying.
01:50Uh, he said Walmart staff didn't seem to care about the situation at all.
01:56Of course not.
01:57Of course not.
01:58Another person stabbed by syringes on the toilet.
01:59Big whoop.
02:00Of course.
02:02Huh.
02:03Get in line.
02:05Initial testing on the syringe contents proved inconclusive,
02:09with further analysis pending at the state forensics lab.
02:13Stay tuned.
02:14I guess you wouldn't see it.
02:18Seems...
02:19Well, no, because I think it's probably on the backside, right?
02:22So the part against the wall that you wouldn't...
02:26There's the dude that was stabbed in the ass.
02:28Oh, yeah.
02:29He didn't do this.
02:30It wasn't him.
02:31Oh, no, it wasn't.
02:32It wasn't him.
02:33I know two things you mix that could be pink and they're bad.
02:40What would they...
02:42Let's hear your Jason math.
02:43Well, red and white.
02:45Blood.
02:46Oh.
02:47Yeah.
02:48Oh, my God.
02:49I feel like they would have...
02:50Blood and semen.
02:51Make a pink liquid.
02:52I think they would have known...
02:53Don't you think they would have been able to tell that right away?
02:55Like, I feel like they're gonna find out that it was like...
02:57Grapefruit juice or something.
02:59Bloody juice is the last thing I want in my ass.
03:03No, I wish I could say that.
03:04Oh, no.
03:05Oh, my gosh.
03:06I've had that multiple times.
03:07Okay.
03:08Oh, my God almighty.
03:09What in the hell is going on around here?
03:12You gotta pay.
03:13You gotta pay for things.
03:15Um...
03:16No, I don't know.
03:18I don't know what that is.
03:19What is it?
03:20It looks like grapefruit juice to me.
03:22I hope it's...
03:23Inconclusive.
03:24You hope it's grapefruit juice.
03:25Inconclusive could also mean they know it's that stuff and they're now they just have
03:30to identify...
03:32You're right.
03:35I was like, I was thinking he was gonna tell us about some kind of drug cocktail.
03:41Right.
03:42Me too.
03:43I'm like, oh, it's cocaine and...
03:44Like, what is it?
03:45Like, what is it?
03:46And he's like, just busted out the old...
03:47Blood and semen.
03:48Yep.
03:49The old classic.
03:50Yeah, you hope that.
03:51And two syringes.
03:52Like, is it one enough?
03:53It looks like it could be that.
03:55It looks like it could be that.
03:56You're going blood and semen too?
03:57It looks like it could be that, man.
03:59That's a lot of blood and semen, guys.
04:01It is.
04:02Two full syringes.
04:03But don't you think, like, if I've come up with this diabolical plan...
04:07Oh, well then, definitely.
04:08Walker told me I had AIDS.
04:10Yeah.
04:11Well, it would be like two parts blood, one part semen.
04:14Mm-hmm.
04:15To get the pink.
04:16Yeah.
04:17Pinkish color.
04:18Yeah.
04:19He knows the pink.
04:20He knows the exact concoction.
04:21I've had it a lot.
04:22A little weird.
04:23A little weird.
04:24Okay, but, so, I guess the thing that he's lucky is that he didn't design something
04:30that when you sat down with pressure, it actually shot the stuff in you, right?
04:38It doesn't look like the stuff shot in him.
04:40Someone said, I work at a veterinary clinic and the euthanasia solution is pink.
04:45Oh, my God.
04:47But where do I get that on the weekend?
04:49You know what I mean?
04:50Yeah.
04:51Bum, bum, bum.
04:52There's your sound effect.
04:53Yeah.
04:54Right?
04:55Death.
04:56Sorry.
04:57A little late there, but wow.
04:59I don't like it.
05:01I don't like...
05:02Bloody semen?
05:05A syringe in...
05:07In you.
05:08No.
05:09In your butt.
05:10Being euthanized in a Walmart bathroom?
05:11No.
05:12I mean, I guess I'll take bloody semen over that, right?
05:14At least...
05:15Well, yeah, but until you find out that you're on a cocktail of everything.
05:19It doesn't look like, although they may have pricked him, it doesn't look like much
05:24was out of this, right?
05:25Well, no, I don't think there's any, I don't think there's any way, you know...
05:28You'd have to push the plungers down, right?
05:29Yeah, you'd have to push the plungers down, right?
05:30Yeah.
05:31In my brain, I've already designed it.
05:33I already know what I would, the changes I would make to make it truly terrible.
05:36Oh, okay.
05:37Yeah, that's great.
05:38You just have to put, like, a board underneath, and then put the syringes up a tiny little bit
05:43higher, and then the pressure would've...
05:45I mean, I always look before I sit down, obviously.
05:48I don't know if I look that close.
05:49I don't know if I look that close.
05:51You don't...
05:52You haven't seen any of this?
05:53I'm more looking in a bowl to make sure there's no turrets left behind.
05:55Yeah.
05:56Yeah.
05:57You never saw the camera.
05:58I feel like I'd be safe.
05:59Oh, because your little ass would fit on the seat?
06:03Yeah.
06:04A cute little butt would fit perfectly.
06:06I wouldn't even know.
06:07None the wiser.
06:08Stop talking about it like that.
06:09I'd be pricked.
06:10Yeah, I'm not hanging over the edges.
06:13No.
06:14I'm gonna have to check my clearance.
06:17I'm gonna check my clearance.
06:18Yeah, go and you go take a look.
06:19See how you do.
06:20Yeah, I'm gonna check my clearance today.
06:21It's like one less thing you have to worry about, Jason.
06:22Yeah, isn't it good?
06:23Yeah.
06:24Because of your cute little...
06:25I'm not even gonna say it.
06:26Say it.
06:27It'll be used against me somehow.
06:28Say it.
06:29What do I have?
06:30No, I'm not.
06:31What are you thinking I have?
06:32Cute little tush.
06:33Cute little butt.
06:34Cute little tushy.
06:35No, your words.
06:36He likes your tush.
06:37That's not what I said.
06:38I heard that too.
06:39Yeah.
06:40Did you?
06:41He's always looking me up and down.
06:43Sizing you up.
06:44It's too much now.
06:45Yep.
06:46Dainty little tush.
06:47Anyway, watch out for toilet needles.
06:49What a thing to now have to worry about.
06:52I'm sure it's an isolated situation.
06:54I can't even imagine.
06:55I hope it's not a case of someone sets it up for attention.
06:59I'm sure it might.
07:00That happens a lot, right?
07:01I bet that's it.
07:03No, but are you saying like the guy who was pricked?
07:06Yeah.
07:07Like I claim that I was pricked.
07:08Oh, I don't think so.
07:09I don't either, but you never know.
07:10That happens a lot.
07:11You never know.
07:12Life is life.
07:13Yeah.
07:14That would hurt.
07:15Those needles, that would really hurt.
07:16Yeah.
07:17I jab myself now all the time and I just...
07:22Yeah, but to sit was force on it.
07:23To sit, you're not ready for it, you know?
07:25Yeah.
07:26Wouldn't feel good.
07:27And it's double.
07:28It's double syringes.
07:29Two pricks in one.
07:30One.
07:31Mm-hmm.
07:33Not great.
07:34Not great at all.
07:35Not great at all.
07:38.
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