- 2 days ago
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00:00What are you doing now, Chuck?
00:01Well, with 17 flavors of 5-Hour Energy, it's kind of hard to decide, so I'm playing Spin the Bottle.
00:07What? Are you 12?
00:10Look, it's pointed right at you.
00:13Get away from me. Get away from me!
00:23Here's a question for you.
00:25Have you ever had anything stuck in you?
00:28Mm-hmm.
00:30That was a pretty quick joke.
00:31Have you ever had anything stuck in you?
00:33We'll tell you what an ER doctor just had to deal with as he reveals it in this new TikTok.
00:39But what about you?
00:40What have you had stuck in you, you or your partner?
00:44And it doesn't have to be a sex toy, of course.
00:46You can call us, 1-855-954-6969.
00:50That's the Dave and Chuck lines, 1-855-954-6969.
00:54What have you had stuck in you?
00:55Or you can text us on the 5-Hour Energy text line at 4-6969.
01:01This ER doctor has gone viral for revealing the most outrageous object he's ever removed from a patient's ass.
01:10Oh, wow.
01:11This is what he says.
01:12He and his girlfriend got a little crazy last night or maybe two days ago, put something up there, and he can't get it out.
01:20I said, you know what?
01:20No judgment.
01:21I get it.
01:22This was a Yankee candle.
01:24A Yankee candle?
01:24I'm not talking about just the little baby one.
01:26I'm talking about the desktop jar.
01:28What?
01:29And not just the top, but the whole damn thing.
01:32It's possible.
01:32Pumpkin spice candle up your ass.
01:34I've seen stuff that, you know, there are ladies just putting on cam shows that are putting things in places that are just so gigantic.
01:43It's like Yankee candles, nothing.
01:46And so it's shocking, but I just, I know the human body can handle it.
01:53It's just makes no sense.
01:55You can't handle it because you can't get out.
01:57You're just saying the size of it.
01:58I'm just saying you can get it in there.
02:00Right.
02:00You can get it in there.
02:02That's crazy.
02:02You don't, you want to keep it out a bit, you know, but you can get it in there.
02:08Let's head to the Dave and Chuck lines here.
02:11Dave is with us in Boston.
02:13Dave, we're talking about something you've had stuck inside of you.
02:17So my wife and I went out to eat.
02:20We had spent some time at the hospital in Boston for our child, but we were there and we were depressed.
02:26We were stressed out.
02:27And she's very picky eater.
02:29Her burger came out and it was wrong.
02:32She is a very picky eater.
02:34So there's nothing, she wanted nothing on it, but it came with everything on it.
02:37She slammed her hand down on the burger and the skewer went right through her hand and my jaw like hit the table.
02:44It was, it was wild.
02:45She ended up having surgery after, and there was like a piece of cellophane from the skewer in her hand.
02:51Oh.
02:52Yeah.
02:53You gotta, you know, just get that burger.
02:55Right.
02:55Yeah.
02:56You get upset.
02:57You know, you do.
02:58You get upset.
02:59Yeah.
02:59Sometimes they put, so sometimes it's like a little like wooden skewer, but sometimes it's like metal.
03:04So yeah, I'm, I don't slam, but just because it has all the stuff on it, I'm not going to squish it with my hands.
03:10But I mean.
03:11One time, thank God it didn't get stuck in me.
03:13I did something like that with a clubhouse sandwich.
03:15I didn't realize there was a, like toothpick in it.
03:19You took a big ass bite?
03:20I took a bite and it got stuck like in here.
03:22Oh.
03:22Oh.
03:22Not good.
03:23Oh, the worst pain.
03:24Not good.
03:26Son of a bitch.
03:27Be careful.
03:28That's why they put those little frilly things on the top.
03:30I think so.
03:30Yeah.
03:31They give you a warning.
03:31There ain't no frills on this one.
03:33Um, someone said I had a, had a condom stuck in me two times.
03:40Sorry about that.
03:42They're a little big.
03:43They're a little bit big.
03:44He never should have went with the Magnus.
03:46I didn't.
03:47It doesn't matter what I go.
03:49You even went with the Juniors.
03:50Yeah.
03:51It doesn't matter.
03:52I hope not.
03:53Right?
03:53Because that is a disturbing name.
03:55Oh my God.
03:55That is a disturbing name.
03:58That is a disturbing.
03:59Well, what would you call it if you were ever going to call it smaller,
04:02but you didn't want to call it small?
04:04Um, I don't know.
04:07Tight.
04:09Tight.
04:09I would call, yeah, right?
04:11It's probably a better, better description.
04:13I don't know about slim fit.
04:16Snug.
04:18But Juniors, you don't think?
04:20No, you can't call it that.
04:23You can't call it that.
04:24Junior condoms.
04:25You know.
04:27I think Slim Fit.
04:28Slim Fit, and it feels like a jean to me, but I don't, I don't know.
04:35But it's kind of like it's tinier, but you don't say tiny.
04:38Yeah.
04:38I mean, that's a tough one because no one wants to buy that.
04:43But you know, you have to sometimes.
04:44Right.
04:45You have to.
04:46What do they call it?
04:47Just small?
04:47I don't even know if they have them, to be totally honest.
04:50I really don't know.
04:52Honestly, I've never thought of that before right now.
04:53They have to, they have to have it.
04:57Oh, they, snug is a thing.
04:59Snug.
04:59How did you know that?
05:00Small slash snug.
05:01How did you know that?
05:02How did you know they were called snug?
05:03How did you get the word right?
05:05I don't know.
05:07You guys dismissed it so quickly, too.
05:10We did.
05:11I figured you're packing heat.
05:14Snug, regular or standard, large and extra large.
05:17Oh, man.
05:19Oh, that's embarrassing.
05:22They're called snug.
05:24The smallest one?
05:25Snug would be a great name.
05:27That's what I heard.
05:28I made up snug.
05:29That's what I heard.
05:30No, he nailed it like right away.
05:32Yeah, snug.
05:33I mean.
05:34Snug, you got the wrong snug.
05:36Then you thought it was all a joke.
05:38I did.
05:39I did.
05:40Oh, no.
05:40Don't show me this.
05:41Don't show me the picture of the sizes.
05:44Oh, no.
05:45Oh, let's see.
05:46Oh, my God.
05:47Look at that little guy.
05:48You hate to know you should be in a snug.
05:50You hate to know exactly what my penis looks like.
05:55All right.
05:56Oh, man.
05:57Went too far.
05:58Let's go on here.
06:00Anthony is with us.
06:01Anthony, we're talking about something you got stuck inside.
06:03You or someone else?
06:05It's actually something that got stuck inside of someone else.
06:08It's the condom thing you guys were talking about.
06:10Even if you have something that's curved, there's nothing that you can put.
06:16No condom will be able to fit that won't get stuck inside somebody.
06:20It's happened multiple times.
06:21Oh, wow.
06:22So the curve really messes with the flow.
06:24Like you've got the gonzo dong?
06:26Yeah, a little bit.
06:27A little bit.
06:28Okay.
06:29All right.
06:30Yeah.
06:30And so that happens a lot.
06:32It starts pulling on the side, you know, like it pulls the edge.
06:35Yeah, it pulls the edge right off.
06:37So it's happened like three or four times.
06:39So I just go bare.
06:41Yeah, well, that's dangerous stuff.
06:42Wow, that is dangerous.
06:43That is.
06:44That's what you got to do.
06:45Yeah, I know.
06:46Be careful, man.
06:49Be careful, dude.
06:51Just saying.
06:51Yeah.
06:52Just saying.
06:53You got to do what you got to do.
06:55Someone said I had a needle break off in my right foot.
06:58You don't want to step on a needle by mistake, you know?
07:03Were you shooting?
07:04No, I mean, I think I've stepped on a needle in my house before that one of my kids was
07:10going through a closet and knocked over like a little tiny plastic thing that was full
07:15of just needles and then didn't really tell anybody.
07:19Yeah, like sewing.
07:20I don't know what you do with them.
07:22You pin fabric together with it or whatever, and one went right into my foot.
07:28And then I was like, what happened here?
07:30Oh, I dropped a hundred needles.
07:32Oh, great.
07:33My buddy had a bottle of shampoo up there.
07:35Said he slipped on it in the shower.
07:37He had to embarrassingly ask me to take him to the ER.
07:40That's what everybody says, huh?
07:42They always.
07:43Oh, I slip.
07:45Chuck, if you ever slip on a shampoo bottle, please don't call me.
07:49You're the first person I'm calling now.
07:51Please do not call me.
07:52If you see my number from now on, I want you to know that there is a really high chance
07:58there's a shampoo bottle in my back.
08:01Oh, something's inside a chuck again.
08:04I need you.
08:05Get over here.
08:06Why would you?
08:07To me, it's embarrassing.
08:09No doubt.
08:10I can't imagine.
08:11Yes.
08:12Just call an ambulance.
08:14Yeah, I don't get anyone else involved.
08:16You can.
08:16Oh, that's embarrassing, too.
08:18I guess maybe only if, but an ambulance is expensive, too.
08:23So I guess if you had a roommate and times are tough, I could understand you being like.
08:26Yeah, they're expensive.
08:27Yeah, they're expensive.
08:29It's a scene and then they wheel you out and you got to be on your stomach.
08:33And my legs are up.
08:33You got to be on your stomach, right?
08:34I don't know.
08:35Your ass up.
08:36And then like, what is it?
08:37You see like Selsen Blue or whatever sticking out on the sheet.
08:41And he's got dandruff.
08:42Oh, my God.
08:43So embarrassing.
08:44It's so embarrassing.
08:49Oh, man.
08:50I just, what's nuts to me is that there are guys out there that are buying shampoo.
08:55They're looking at the bottle.
08:56They're looking at the bottle.
08:57They can just put it up their ass.
08:58You know?
09:00They're looking at the bottle.
09:02I was an OR nurse and had to remove fix-a-flat from a rectum that had expanded and got stuck
09:10and blew up their entire intestines.
09:12No, that's just, I don't know what you're doing.
09:14Yeah.
09:15I lost a rock ring in my wife.
09:19You know what I mean?
09:19Mm-hmm.
09:20We didn't know until a week later when it came out of her.
09:23It was completely deformed.
09:25Her vag had started to digest it.
09:27It looked like melted rubber.
09:29I don't know if they died.
09:30I don't have the girth for those things.
09:32You don't know when you, how did he not realize it wasn't on him still?
09:37It's like a condom.
09:37You would know.
09:38I think, um, you know, they come in different sizes, you know, they come in different sizes.
09:44And if you misjudge, if you misjudge, if you got the snug.
09:48Yeah.
09:48You know, if you, if you went big and you shouldn't have, and maybe some people don't realize like
09:55they need to be on there so that they don't move, you know, like there can't be, no, it
10:02can't be flying around wiggle room in the, with that thing.
10:07I don't know.
10:08Be careful with your rock rings.
10:09Yeah.
10:10Um, George is with us.
10:12George, what have you had stuck inside you?
10:13Uh, my wife had the tip of a no name Q-tip stuck in her ear.
10:20It's the damn no name ones.
10:22It's cheap, man.
10:23Don't go cheap.
10:24You know?
10:25Yeah.
10:25So she was, you're not supposed to put them inside your ear.
10:28But everyone does.
10:30Yeah.
10:30But everyone does.
10:31Everybody.
10:32That was on her.
10:33Hmm.
10:34Yeah.
10:34I mean.
10:35I told her not to use those ones.
10:36Those are the ones I use for like modeling and 3D prints.
10:40Yes, exactly.
10:41There are like, uh, cleaning ones for like, yeah.
10:45Oh yeah.
10:45Stuff you use.
10:47We used to have to use them in radio all the time.
10:49But, uh, I do.
10:52I would never go cheap with those.
10:53That's one of those products I would never go cheap with.
10:56You get the brand that you get the Q-tip.
11:00That's what you get.
11:01Um, someone emailed us saying my dad just had to have a fish hook removed from his finger
11:05and they sent a video.
11:07Oh yeah.
11:08Can you handle that stuff?
11:09Yeah.
11:09Yeah.
11:09Fish hooks.
11:10No big deal.
11:11Well, this is it here.
11:13Let's see.
11:13Let's hope he doesn't swear.
11:14I might just keep the volume down.
11:17Oh.
11:18Oh yeah.
11:18Oh wow.
11:20Just sucks fish hooks.
11:21They got the barb on it and makes it difficult.
11:24Oh yeah.
11:26Um, Al is with us in Windsor.
11:28Al, what have you had stuck inside of you?
11:30Uh, I had some shards of glass.
11:32Shards of glass stuck inside of me.
11:34I ran through two plate glass windows.
11:36How'd you do that, Al?
11:38Escaping.
11:38Uh, running from a buddy, running from a taxi cab, running, we were kind of trying to
11:43dodge a taxi pair and, uh, there were, there was, uh, we were running towards the bar and
11:49I didn't see the plate glass windows ran through one, ran through the other.
11:54Oh my God.
11:55And I literally had hundreds of shards of glass in my body.
11:58I had part of my nose shaved off.
12:01And maybe next time just pay for the taxi, man.
12:03Uh, yeah, it was actually the taxi driver that drove me to the hospital.
12:07Oh, that's very nice.
12:08That's the nicest Canadian taxi driver ever.
12:12Yeah.
12:12You just skipped out on your tab and he drove you to the hospital still?
12:16That's amazing.
12:16That's only in Canada.
12:19Full of blood.
12:19My bro, I go to my buddy.
12:20I'm like, Hey, but I can't see.
12:22I can't see.
12:23There was blood in my eyes.
12:24I think I'm blind.
12:25And my buddy says, yeah, I think you're blind too.
12:28And then, uh, which didn't make things any, uh, any better.
12:31And then the taxi cab driver was screaming about who was going to clean up, pay for the
12:36blood in the back of his car.
12:37But he was nice enough to drive me to the hospital.
12:40And they did a little work on me.
12:41They must've pulled probably over a hundred shards of glass out of my face, my chest, my,
12:47my nose.
12:48I was lucky I didn't get blinded.
12:50Yeah.
12:50You're lucky to be alive.
12:51Yeah, you are, man.
12:52For sure.
12:52Thanks for calling in.
12:53Yeah.
12:54The world's nicest taxi driver is the guy that you run from.
12:57So you don't pay the fare and then he still takes you to the hospital.
12:59I mean, you got to, you're bleeding all over his cab.
13:01You got to pay him then though.
13:02Right.
13:03Yeah.
13:03You got to pay him.
13:05A hundred percent.
13:05Yeah.
13:05You got to pay him.
13:06Hopefully a great, great tip.
13:07Yeah.
13:08Yeah.
13:09One more thing.
13:09Someone had a Virgin Mary statue up their backside.
13:13That's not right.
13:14Holy night.
13:14That's not right.
13:16You shouldn't do that.
13:17I mean, if it's all real, that is going to, you're going to, they're going to be waiting
13:23with that one right at the gate.
13:25Yeah.
13:25You know what I mean?
13:26You're not getting it.
13:26Like if it's real, they're going to be like Virgin Mary up your ass.
13:29Wow.
13:30Wow.
13:30Look at that.
13:32They're going to show you a picture of it and all that.
13:34It's not great.
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