00:00We're going to talk all about Secrets of Celebrity Sex Tapes, which it was so interesting, the episode that you were on talking about your story.
00:07This is the first time that you've told your story in a documentary.
00:11To go into the details around the sex tape now.
00:14Sure.
00:15Great. So.
00:17Are you comfortable talking about it?
00:19I am if you are.
00:20I am.
00:21How did this whole thing get started?
00:23Why was now the right time?
00:24I think after I got done with a trauma center, I had like the words to describe what I went through.
00:33And I feel like that was kind of the the trickiness of sitting down and reminiscing about something, I think, like from 2012, 2013 in my life until like now it's 2025.
00:45But we talked about that in 2023 and I've just changed so much with words.
00:50So that's why I was like, I'm open to a press, you know, to her because I feel like as I keep aging, as I keep self-investing in like mental health, I can't really describe what I'm going through.
01:00And I don't feel like some of the people who commented on me in my episode put themselves in a time frame of, oh, this was Farrah's.
01:09This is how Farrah talked then.
01:10This is what Farrah only knew at that point.
01:12And instead they act like it's 2025 and Farrah should just be able to say this is what happened to her and, you know, and go about her way.
01:21But it's like nothing is for other people.
01:24This was something that I walked through life and I've learned through it.
01:29And so, yeah, it wasn't to appease anyone else.
01:31And I think that's what was so special about sitting down and, you know, putting vocabulary to what I went through.
01:37So for everybody else who's young and you don't have words and you're trying to figure life out, I totally feel you.
01:43I love how close you and Sophia are.
01:45At what point did you kind of sit her down and explain everything about the sex tape, your work in the adult entertainment industry and everything?
01:52And how did she respond to that?
01:54So, yeah, the unfortunate criminal situation I found myself in with a celebrity sex tape, that I think Sophia was with me.
02:03You know, when I was figuring out, like, is this the right deal?
02:09Is this the right thing for me?
02:10Is this the walk that I need to walk?
02:12Like, my daughter was right there with me.
02:14So there's no hiding of my experience.
02:17Like, she lived it, you know.
02:21And I think she only knew, like, her mom really was struggling with suicide.
02:26Her mom was really struggling with trying to find, like, love or intimacy.
02:30There was no secret of that.
02:31My daughter used to, at that age, she'd ask any guy at the gas station to go on a date with me.
02:37And it made me, you know, that's so sweet, but it's also so sad.
02:41So what was the thing of, like, my daughter and telling her, I think I just, again, like, I am very transparent with what I'm feeling.
02:48I want her to learn from me what not to do.
02:50I want her to learn, like, how great life can be now that I've gone to the other side of life and healed.
02:55So I don't think I've left anything out for my daughter.
02:58So there were some other adult film stars in the doc, including Maitland Ward from Boy Meets World, sort of questioning some of the stuff about your story.
03:06Who goes to a porn star and makes their own benefit tape?
03:10Like, what was the benefit?
03:12Masturbation?
03:12What's your response to the stuff she said in the documentary?
03:16I wasn't really familiar with her, and I don't even know why she showed up to comment on me.
03:20I do see, like, from the last couple of years, she felt like it would get her famous from saying negative things about me.
03:27Again, my story is about living in, like, a positive stimulus.
03:33Maitland Ward sounds like she lives in a negative stimulus.
03:36She still has mental health issues that she needs to go deal with, but she should take some tips and learn from me, because that's just not the game I play anymore.
03:45I'm not here.
03:46I am not here, and I want her to hear this loud and clear.
03:49I am not here to appease people in adult entertainment.
03:53She can appease them.
03:54She can have people-pleasing issues her whole life.
03:57I feel very bad for her.
03:58But I want it to be very clear that she has no right to speak about me, contradict herself.
04:05It was a joke that I even saw her comment, and I hope whatever payday and a little attention that she gets from showing up and saying negative things about a woman, she needs to go work on, like, toxic masculinity issues.
04:18I wish her all the best.
04:20Honestly, her porn career is nowhere, nowhere of success.
04:25So for anyone to talk about me, I don't know who she is.
04:29I don't care if she was in White Chicks.
04:31I don't care if she was in Boy Meets World.
04:33I never paid attention to her, and I'm still not going to pay attention to her in porn.
04:36So she needs to go figure out how to be a successful woman.
04:41She should take note of my episode.
04:43The end.
04:44I blocked her.
04:45I don't even want to know that she exists on this planet.
04:47I have blocked anyone and everyone of my episode who, again, I'm done.
04:54I'm just done with the want to be famous.
04:57I'm done with the sensationalism.
04:59I'm done with, like, the obsessed with celebrity-ness.
05:02And I think, like, I really sat down with A&E because it has been such a pain point of my life to overcome, like, again, just a lack of self-esteem.
05:14Like, I don't think people understand.
05:16Like, we act out if you have, like, face dysmorphia.
05:20We act out when we're suicidal.
05:22It's not about, oh, if she wanted to go do porn, she could have just done it.
05:28It's a gimmick.
05:28Like, no, I'm not in control of what other people do in a smear campaign against me.
05:33Like, the criminology, the non-consensualness that other people love to live with.
05:37Like, a lot of people in porn, they don't care if they have consent.
05:40They just let their lives go.
05:41They let their self-worth go.
05:42They let their value be disintegrated.
05:44And I think I'm just on a different trajectory, obviously.
05:47And I got a daughter who watches after me and thinks the world of me.
05:51And I don't think you should put your parents on a pedestal.
05:54But I think, like, that encouraged me.
05:56That's aspirational.
05:57Like, I want to live up to what my daughter thinks of me.
05:59And it's not succumbing to what other people think a video should look like for them.
06:06I saw some men say, like, oh, her video didn't look like a sex tape.
06:10I consider the death of the celebrity sex tape happened when Farrah Abraham put out her product.
06:15And the reason why I say that is because it was so well-lit and edited and professional that you could see that this was bulls**t.
06:24This video was not for public consumption.
06:28This video was for me.
06:29If I want to record it how I want to record it, cool.
06:32And I'm also tired of people saying there was a whole crew.
06:36I've been asked habitually, habitually about this in podcasts even this year, or this year, podcasts this year, news, different TV shows.
06:45Stop insinuating that there was anyone around me during sex.
06:50Stop insinuating that.
06:51If you saw someone on there, then you could ask me about it.
06:55But no one saw that.
06:57Like, there was lighting in my shower.
06:59Like, what is going on with people trying to just claw and attach themselves to someone who is famous?
07:08That's why people got fired.
07:11That's why I've never talked to people again.
07:12I think it was one of the earlier episodes and one that was about Rob Lowe.
07:15They kind of talked about...
07:16That's what I loved.
07:16Yeah, they talked a little bit about how women have faced different repercussions than men.
07:23Like, he was maybe able to bounce back a little quicker than some other women who have had it.
07:27What's your take on that whole thing?
07:30I feel like this wasn't really touched upon in my episode.
07:33This was, like, really weird to me as I watched.
07:36The Rob Lowe thing very much talked about the men and women, but it was so weird how they picked what they edited in mind.
07:44They talked about me being booed on an AVN stage.
07:50As if I care, I couldn't even remember it because of my medication and alcohol mixing that day.
07:56I feel like people failed to mention this in the entire scope of looking at this.
08:02I was booed on that AVN stage, not because of me and who I am.
08:09I was booed on that stage because everybody in that audience thought they should stand up for a man.
08:16Why didn't the porn star get paid as much as that reality star?
08:19James Dean or whatever the porn star's name is didn't get paid equal to you.
08:24And they all were upset at a woman for not having equality on pay, but yet it was that porn star's fault that this was all in the public eye without my consent.
08:36As they're all holding hands with me and walking me out as I'm doing my thing, it seemed like I was pretty liked there, right?
08:41But it wasn't likable because a man didn't equally get paid and make money off my skin, my body.
08:50And I think that's the line I walked.
08:53So I know nobody was living it with me.
08:55If anything, I look back and I say, maybe I should not have let those resentments get the better of me and be spiteful.
09:05But I did.
09:06Two wrongs do not make a right.
09:07And I learned that 14 years later.
09:10And I'm happy I can share that.
09:12This wasn't like that long ago, but yet so much in the world has changed.
09:15I feel like now with OnlyFans even, which I know you've had success with.
09:20Yeah, OnlyFans for life.
09:21Do you ever find that the media storm that you dealt with in your early 20s has influenced the content that you create now?
09:29I'm sure.
09:31I mean, OnlyFans, I try to keep it a joyful place.
09:35And I think, like, that's what I really loved about OnlyFans was, like, if any men are hating on me, I'm going to block them.
09:41And I'm tired of that man hating on a strong, independent, like, widowed mother.
09:47Like, and I think I love, you know, like, I love just thematic stuff.
09:54So, like, cosplay or whatever.
09:56Like, and guys, I don't date often.
09:58So, if I can have a little fun on OnlyFans, let a mom live.
10:03Let a mom live.
10:04Moms want to have fun, too.
10:06Yeah, so I'm just not all about, like, the competition and, like, the craziness of OnlyFans.
10:11And I'm loving some AI, some joy AI.
10:14And by the way, that's what also has been influencing my OnlyFans.
10:18So, like, all this AI girlfriend-ness, I'm shocked there's not an award for that at AVN.
10:24Because we're making millions off of it now.
10:26But I love that I have, like, a group of, like, the people who get to use our joy AI.
10:32Some of, like, their creations, they, like, allow me to show on my OnlyFans.
10:37And I think that joy AI is that inspiration of, like, and, like, right now they're creating, they're creating, like, mocks of me now.
10:46But in my celebrity sex tape, it's, like, super weird.
10:50But, yeah, it just never dies.
10:52So, I feel like AI is just continuing, like, some sex tape vibes on OnlyFans vibes.
10:57And it's just all about fantasy and being creative.
11:00I don't get deep about that stuff.
11:02And I just want, you know, husbands, wives, whatever, singles, to have a safe, consensual sex life.
11:10And I will always support a healthy sex life.
11:13And that's all I am doing in my life.
11:15If somebody came to you and said, we want to turn your life story into a TV show or a movie, what would your response be?
11:21And who would you want to play you?
11:22Okay.
11:23Yes.
11:24And yes.
11:24Oh, yes.
11:26I would love, and I, like, I feel like I prayed about this.
11:31I would love my daughter to be able to play me right now.
11:34Wow.
11:35Hands down.
11:36I think the world of my daughter, she's talented.
11:39She's been trained.
11:40There's no one better than her.
11:43And honestly, I see my daughter, like, winning awards.
11:46I see her having, like, films across, like, the nation's screens.
11:50And she loves her horror stuff.
11:53But, you know, what wins actresses real, like, awards?
11:57They win awards when they become unlike them.
12:01And I think my daughter is so goth, and I am so not, that it would be, like, the highlight of her life and her career.
12:11Because I think she often wonders what I went through.
12:14And not that I want to put her through that, but I think in an acting way, lifetime movie, call me.
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