00:00So now you're living in LA.
00:01Yes.
00:01What is like the biggest difference between like the UK and LA?
00:05Like what are some big culture shocks for you?
00:07There's so many.
00:08I'm still, I still feel really out of place in LA.
00:14I don't know whether I ever will feel super comfortable here.
00:22But it's weird because now I don't feel super comfortable back home either.
00:25You know, I'm in this weird leeway position where home doesn't quite feel like home.
00:29It's nostalgic, but doesn't quite feel like home.
00:31And here it doesn't feel homely either.
00:34I'd say the main difference is, I mean, when I first moved here, I don't drive.
00:38I didn't drive in England.
00:39I didn't need to.
00:41Where I'm from is a very small place.
00:43You can walk around everywhere.
00:45Or if you want to go somewhere further, you jump on a train or a bus.
00:48You know, no one in my family drives a car.
00:52I didn't have a TV a lot of the time growing up.
00:54And then I moved out here and everything revolves around having a car.
01:03I find that really difficult.
01:05The accessibility here.
01:07I'm used to, if you think about your day-to-day life, right?
01:11I'm used to like, if I want to pop out the house back home, I'll go and do this.
01:15And then I'll walk here and I'll do that errand.
01:17And then I'll go here and I'll do this.
01:19Here you have to plan your day around traffic.
01:23So if you're going to go grocery shopping and then you want to see your friend,
01:28sometimes you have to choose which one.
01:30You know, and you won't always have time to do both.
01:32And that's something I really struggled with.
01:34And then also not having a car impacts that further.
01:37That was a really big effect for me.
01:40I'm used to very outdoorsy life.
01:42So I'd spend a lot of time not in my house.
01:46I now spend most of my time in my apartment.
01:48If not, it's on set.
01:50And if I want to go for a hike here, I have to Uber to an outdoor space to then go on a walk,
01:56to then Uber back home.
01:57I find that so weird.
01:59It's so strange, you know?
02:01And I know that's particular to LA.
02:05And we say like people, we say, I mean, LA people are really flaky.
02:08Yeah.
02:09But I think honestly, a lot of it is because everything takes so long to get to.
02:14Yes.
02:14And traffic is such a problem.
02:15It really is.
02:16You know, like I don't go out to a lot of events.
02:19Yeah.
02:19Also because I'm just old and I have a kid and I'm over it.
02:23But I mean, like it'll take me an hour to get to Hollywood.
02:26Yeah.
02:27And then an hour to get home.
02:28That's two hours out of my day just to go somewhere.
02:31I'm like, I don't want to go.
02:32And then you've got to add on another hour if there's traffic.
02:34You know, like it's just, it's insane.
02:36Yeah.
02:37That was really difficult.
02:38Speaking of like flakiness, the communication style here is really different.
02:43I've found that people, and I have Israeli family.
02:48So I'm used to very direct methods of communication.
02:52So like if I want to talk to someone, I'll go and have a conversation with them.
02:56Or if I don't want to talk to someone, I won't.
02:58But here, everything's seen as a networking opportunity.
03:01So everyone's talking to everyone, not purposely because they actually want to talk to them,
03:06but because there's a viewpoint, which isn't necessarily a negative.
03:10It's just a different way of doing things.
03:12It's kind of what can I get out of this person?
03:15Again, not necessarily in a negative, but just in a business sense.
03:18Or how can I talk to this person in a way that then I can use to do something else and talk to them?
03:27It's so weird.
03:28And it's networking is what it is.
03:31And I'm not used to that at all.
03:34LA is all about like climbing the social ladder.
03:36Yes.
03:36And that was really hard for me when I moved here and started to try and make friends.
03:41You know, I've never had someone say, let's go get lunch and then never talk to me again.
03:46Like, Spiegel's like, yeah, that's how people say goodbye now.
03:50Like, and I, it's so different.
03:52It's so different, you know, but it's like, sadly, because business is put first here,
03:58which I understand, I moved here for a job.
04:00You know, I moved here for my career.
04:01I get that.
04:03It means that social relationships come secondary or they have to be a plus to business.
04:09And yeah, big learning curve, big challenge, like how I communicate with people.
04:14I really had to relearn.
04:16And how I personalize friendships and work relationships, I really had to change as well.
04:25That was really difficult.
04:26I think LA is a very lonely place.
04:28A lot of people who live in LA aren't from LA.
04:31I do wonder how people haven't or don't, you know, die from loneliness more.
04:37Yeah, I do though, because it's crazy.
04:39I'm lucky enough that I've made a few good friendships that exist outside of the industry.
04:44I also think within our industry, we already have so much stigma going against us.
04:50It's hard to branch out of the industry and make good relationships or friendships
04:57that don't make you a freak show.
05:02You know, people aren't like, people don't want to, the conversational relationship doesn't revolve around you being in the industry.
05:09It should revolve on you as a person and what you're like, not your job.
05:12And why that makes you interesting or cool, you know.
05:16And I think sex work is slightly having this social come up, especially since OF has had the rise.
05:23Because that side of the sex industry has become more acceptable to the point where now people are finding it like, it's like a trait, you know.
05:34It's like you're kind and you also do sex work, like it's cool.
05:37Yeah.
05:37And I found that quite difficult, you know.
05:41But then equally, I'm not someone that goes out a lot.
05:45So I'm not going to make friendships at a bar or like, when am I going to like, have an interesting conversation with someone at the grocery shop?
05:53Like, I'm just not.
05:54But I think it's important to have friends outside of the industry as well.
05:59But yeah, I'm lucky enough that I've made like, two good friends where they're adjacent.
06:04One of them's in the industry and the other one's adjacent too.
06:06So she understands it.
06:07She's directed scripts.
06:09But she's not necessarily in it anymore, which is nice.
06:14But yeah, it was hard.
06:15It was really hard moving here.
06:17It's the hardest thing I've ever done.
06:18Yeah.
06:19And probably will ever do.
06:20I found it harder moving to LA than I did starting the industry.
06:26You know?
06:26No, I get that.
06:27I mean, I grew up here.
06:29Yeah.
06:29So I think it's a little bit easier for me.
06:32But also like, really, my closest friends and the people I spend the most amount of time with is my family.
06:38Yeah.
06:39You know, like I, my closest friends are my husband, my sister-in-law.
06:45Yeah.
06:45My sister and my brother, you know.
06:47Like, I mean, I have, I have friends that I spend time with.
06:50But like, really, like the people that I spend the most amount of time with, especially now that we all have kids that are the same age, is my family.
06:56Yeah.
06:57You know, I can't imagine not having that.
07:01I think it would be really hard.
07:03It was different.
07:03I mean, I'm still very close with my mom.
07:07So my mom comes out and visits me a lot.
07:09Same with my best friend from home.
07:11She comes out like every three months to come see me.
07:13Which makes it easier as well.
07:15When I first moved here, that was kind of what I relied on.
07:19And I will say like living with Spiegler was the best thing ever because I wasn't coming back home from these really lively sets and going back to nothing and quietness.
07:28Like, there was a buzz in the house, even if it was just Spiegler watching TV, which I think, I mean, I'm sure a lot of the girls struggle with when they move here for the work, you know.
07:38And maybe why a lot of them end up living in model houses because although you don't have your own space, at least there's a form of, I don't know, there's company.
07:48There's company back home.
07:50Yeah.
07:50But yeah, Spiegs was my best friend.
07:53And I'd say he still probably is one of my best friends here.
07:56I spend most of my spare time with him and he is my version of family here.
08:01Yeah.
08:01Does he still have Spiegler Thanksgiving?
08:04Yeah.
08:05Yeah.
08:06It's great.
08:06It's really great.
08:07It's really cute.
08:08Yeah.
08:08It's cute.
08:09It's cute.
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