Octavia Red_ Family, Grief, and Owning Her Story

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Octavia Red_ Family, Grief, and Owning Her Story  #OctaviaRed

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00:00How did you segue from growing up Christian, conservative family, homeschooled, then porn industry?

00:09You know, I was kind of just working bullshit, nine to five jobs.

00:14A couple cool jobs, but mostly just bullshit, nine to five jobs.

00:17And COVID hit, and I lost my job.

00:21I was working at a casino.

00:22It closed down.

00:23Long story short, I just decided to do things that I enjoyed with my time.

00:27And I've always been a theater kid, choir kid, loved performing arts.

00:33I loved modeling.

00:34So I just started working with Instagram photographers and models to do boudoir modeling and just do explicit nudes.

00:43And that's how I started.

00:44So I opened my Twitter, and within a couple of days, I got hit up by an agent asking me if I'd be interested in doing porn.

00:53I talked with him.

00:55I thought it was a scam at first.

00:58I got the license ID of the agency, realized it wasn't a scam.

01:02You asked for the license ID.

01:04I did.

01:04Wow.

01:05Okay.

01:06I was like, I'm not falling for a scam.

01:08And I sat on it, and I was like, I don't know if I should, because I never thought about doing porn before.

01:13It was never a thought in my head.

01:16And then I decided maybe six months after he had reached out to me, like, okay, I'll do it.

01:22What made you make that decision?

01:24Because it's a pretty big decision.

01:26I don't know.

01:27Hmm.

01:28I don't know.

01:29I think that I have lived my life a little impulsively.

01:33Okay.

01:33I'm always interested in new adventures, doing new things, things that I know nothing about.

01:39Sometimes I just like to dive in to find out about it, if I can do it in a safe way.

01:44And I think I held off on it, because I wasn't sure if this was safe, if that makes sense.

01:50Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:51Like, if you're a civilian, and you're coming in, you're like, oh, I'm going to get sex trafficked.

01:54Like, what's going on?

01:55Yeah, that's the biggest, that's like the number one thing I hear.

01:57I was like, oh, am I going to get sex trafficked?

02:00Yeah.

02:00All the time.

02:01Well, because I'd be flying from Sacramento to Vegas, right?

02:03So I'd be going to a city that I knew nothing about.

02:07Yeah.

02:07No one there.

02:08So I'm like, this is a big risk for me.

02:10Mm-hmm.

02:10Um, so I sat on it for a while, and I decided to take the leap.

02:15I think I was just going through a lot of things in my life, and I was looking for something

02:20that would fulfill me.

02:24And I decided to see if this is what it would do that.

02:28And what is the result so far?

02:31So far, yeah, it has.

02:33You know, I did three scenes, and then I left for almost a year, because I, you know, chickened out.

02:38I was like, what is my family going to think of me?

02:40What are my friends going to think of me?

02:41Am I going to be able to look myself in the mirror and be happy with what I'm doing?

02:47Because once you're out there, you're out there.

02:49Yeah.

02:49You know?

02:50Like, I could maybe do three scenes and get away with, like, you know, throwing it.

02:54Disappearing into the ether, maybe.

02:55Yeah.

02:55Maybe.

02:56Like, I'm sure it'll come up, you know?

02:57But I had to really have that real conversation with myself, because I'm the type of person

03:03that I don't like to hide what I'm doing.

03:06I don't like to feel like I have to hide parts of my life away from who I care about.

03:12And I decided to take that leap, so my family knows, everybody knows.

03:18I don't hide it from anybody.

03:20I mean, maybe my Uber driver, but.

03:25Smart.

03:26You know?

03:26Yeah.

03:27Because it's very important to me to just be genuine to the people around me.

03:32So I took that time to really make sure this is what I wanted to do, and I'm very happy that I did,

03:36because I think, in a way, porn has very much saved my life.

03:40Okay.

03:40Can you elaborate on that?

03:42Yeah.

03:42So, also, when I was diving into porn, I had lost my dad in 2018, and I had lost two other sisters.

03:53And then my sister, two other sisters were going through inflammatory breast cancer.

03:59One of them was at stage four, and I might get teary-eyed, but it's okay.

04:10When you watch someone who's very young lose their life, and they're fighting very hard to keep every second of it,

04:20and you've been depressed and hating life and suicidal,

04:25you see how much that person wants their life,

04:28and it makes you think,

04:31how can I sit here and want to give my life up

04:35when that person would do anything to spend more time with their children?

04:43And you're like, okay.

04:45I can't keep being this little shit that's going to work, smoking weed all day,

04:53just to numb themselves and not do anything with their life.

04:55If I'm given this time that's being stolen from this person,

05:00I better fucking do something with it.

05:03And that was the biggest motivator for me of like, okay,

05:07maybe porn's not the end game,

05:08but it can open doors to things that I do really love,

05:13which is music, fashion, traveling, performing arts, modeling.

05:20You know, I got to work with Hustler.

05:21I've got to work with Penthouse.

05:23I get to sit here with you.

05:25That's phenomenal.

05:26Like, these are, like, I've worked with Dixon now,

05:29which was a huge aspiration for me.

05:31Browsers now.

05:31Like, these are huge things that I never thought in a million years

05:37that I would be able to do.

05:41And it took, unfortunately, those traumatic things to realize

05:46I am wasting my life and I have to change.

05:53I can so relate to that.

05:55And it's like that's the gift that your sister gave you, you know?

05:59And sometimes, like, the death of somebody,

06:06it can be, you can take that as a gift.

06:10You can take that horrible, devastating thing

06:13and you can turn it around and you can make something out of it.

06:17Yeah.

06:18And you can turn it into, like, a gift of life in a way.

06:20But you have to, like, decide to make, to turn that thing around.

06:25Yeah, instead of wallowing in the sorrow,

06:27turning it into something that you can live with.

06:33And also, those people who pass, they don't want you to be miserable.

06:37Yeah.

06:38They want you to take that love and grief,

06:40because grief is a beautiful thing.

06:42It's painful, but it's beautiful.

06:44Yeah.

06:44And you can take it and turn it into something productive.

06:48Yeah.

06:48That's what those people who pass want you to do.

06:51Yeah.

06:51We will talk about dicks at some point.

06:58Oh, my God.

06:59I know.

06:59There's been, like, a lot of, it's been a rough year, man.

07:04And, like, my uncle died yesterday.

07:06Oh, my gosh.

07:07You're, like, the fourth person that I've been talking to this week

07:10that someone has passed away with.

07:11It's so heavy.

07:12Yeah.

07:13It's crazy.

07:14Yeah.

07:15It's, like, the time of year.

07:16Yeah.

07:17I don't know.

07:17I know a lot.

07:18I've talked to a lot of people going through that.

07:21It's, yeah.

07:22It's a lot.

07:23Life goes on, you know?

07:24And here we are.

07:25I think that's the weirdest part about death,

07:27is accepting that it does still go on.

07:30Yeah.

07:32Yeah.

07:33So how has your family reacted to your career?

07:36My family, I think, is just happy I'm alive and happy at this point.

07:41And some of them...

07:43So you were really going through it.

07:44Were they concerned, like, they were going to lose you?

07:47Oh, me?

07:47No.

07:48It's just that, like, it felt like every year we were losing a sibling.

07:52Gotcha.

07:53So it was just, like, okay, my dad passed, then six or eight months later,

07:57another sister passes, then another, another.

08:00And I think all of that bonded us together to where we were, like,

08:05it doesn't really matter what you do as long as you're happy and healthy.

08:08We just want to love each other.

08:10Yeah.

08:10So I have some siblings who think it's really cool what I do.

08:13I have other siblings that are like,

08:15eh, I wish you weren't doing that, but, like, love you anyways.

08:18Yeah.

08:19And I think that's the best thing that I could ask for.

08:22It's another gift that death gave you.

08:26Yeah.

08:27Yeah.

08:28It's kind of strange how there's beauty in that.

08:31Yeah.

08:32Yeah.

08:33Yeah.

08:34Yeah.

08:35Yeah.

08:36Yeah.

08:37Yeah.

08:38Yeah.

08:39Yeah.

08:40Yeah.

08:41Yeah.

08:42Yeah.

08:43Yeah.

08:44Yeah.

08:45Yeah.

08:46Yeah.

08:47Yeah.

08:48Yeah.

08:49Yeah.

08:50Yeah.

08:51Yeah.

08:52Yeah.

08:53Yeah.

08:54Yeah.

08:55Yeah.

08:57Yeah.

08:58Yeah.

08:59Yeah.

09:00Yeah.

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