- 1 day ago
- #1965
#1965
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Once upon a time, in a mythical place called Cape Kennedy, an astronaut named Tony Nelson
00:17went up on a space mission. The missile went up, but something went wrong, and they had
00:22to bring it down. Captain Nelson landed on an island in the South Pacific, where he found
00:28a bottle. At least it looked like a bottle, but it didn't act like a bottle, because in
00:36it was a genie. Oh, not your average everyday genie, but a beautiful genie who could grant
00:44any wish.
00:58Captain Nelson was so grateful, he set genie free. Only she didn't want to be free. You
01:16know how it is when you've been cooped up in a bottle for 2,000 years. She wanted to have
01:21fun, and she wanted to have it with Captain Nelson. So she followed him back to Cocoa Beach,
01:27a mythical town in a mythical state called Florida. And there in this house, the girl
01:33in the bottle plays spin the astronaut.
01:37Boy, I wonder what it is about mental work that makes you so hungry. I wish I had a cheese
01:41sandwich.
01:42Oh. Oh, hello, Jay. Say, you wouldn't fix me a cheese sandwich, would you? I'd go down
01:56a delicatessen myself, but if I'm going to finish this design before I pick up Melissa, I won't
02:00have a chance.
02:00Melissa?
02:01Mm-hmm?
02:01The black-haired witch.
02:04You be careful, young lady. That happens to be the girl I'm going to marry.
02:07Her vibrations are all wrong for you.
02:09Well, that's funny. I kind of like the way she vibrates.
02:12She will never make you happy, Master.
02:15Let's just stick to the cheese sandwich, Jeannie.
02:19Well, if this is what you really wish.
02:22I think that is what I really wish.
02:29No!
02:30What's the story of my study? What's the big idea?
02:33Before one can make a cheese sandwich, one must first make the cheese.
02:37Yeah. Yeah, that figures.
02:40That's it.
03:02Wasn't that fun?
03:03Yeah.
03:03I never did so much in my life.
03:06Thanks for driving me home, Melissa. I'll, uh, I'll see you tomorrow.
03:09I have a wonderful idea. Why don't you lure me inside so we can snuggle up in front of
03:15a roaring fire with a couple of hot toddies and, uh, talk about our honeymoon?
03:21Well, I, I wish I could, Liz, but, uh, we better not. I'm a terribly messy housekeeper.
03:27I'll clean it up for you.
03:28Uh, uh, yeah.
03:31Tony!
03:32Huh?
03:33You read my mind!
03:38Oh, what?
03:40You evened it a fire.
03:42I did?
03:42Oh!
03:43Yeah, I did.
03:46Oh, look at those.
03:49Hi.
03:50Seems so nervous.
03:51Oh, do I? Do I?
03:52Um, um, uh, pre-marital jitters. Occupational hazard for us bachelors.
03:58Why wait?
03:59What?
04:00Why don't we simply move up the wedding date?
04:03Well, yeah, that, that's a marvelous idea.
04:05Oh!
04:07Oh, Tony!
04:08Wait till I get you in Jamaica.
04:10I guess I'll have to, won't I?
04:13It won't be too long.
04:14No.
04:15Tony.
04:16Yeah?
04:16May I ask you something?
04:18Yeah.
04:18What are we whispering about?
04:20Whisper?
04:22No.
04:23It's just something you don't discuss in public.
04:28You mean the walls have ears?
04:30Yeah, something like that.
04:33You look a little tired.
04:35You better get some rest.
04:36I'll go.
04:37Yeah, it's a good idea.
04:38Hmm?
04:39I mean, you look tired too, darling.
04:40You need some rest.
04:41Oh, of course I will.
04:45Thanks for being so understanding, Melissa.
04:48Good night.
04:48Good night.
04:54All right, now listen here.
04:55The black-haired witch is right.
04:56Thou art very nervous.
04:58She has upset you.
05:00She has upset me?
05:00What do you think you've been doing?
05:02Jeannie!
05:02Do you really love that one?
05:04Well, I wouldn't be marrying her if I didn't.
05:07Well, if this is what you really want,
05:10I will try to serve you and make both of you happy.
05:12Oh, we will have a wonderful honeymoon.
05:16No, no, no, wait a minute.
05:17I don't think you know the ground rules.
05:18I am taking Melissa to Jamaica on our honeymoon.
05:23Jamaica?
05:23Oh, that sounds nice.
05:25We will have a good time there.
05:26I will serve you ripe figs in bed.
05:28Oh, no, you...
05:29Dates?
05:30No, no, nothing.
05:31You won't be there.
05:32But why?
05:33No offense, Jeannie,
05:34but on a honeymoon,
05:35two is company and three is...
05:37Well, three is just out of the question.
05:40But I am your Jeannie.
05:40No, no, no, no, no.
05:41Melissa is in.
05:42You are out.
05:43There is just not enough room in my life for both of you.
05:45But I take up very little room
05:46and I will make that one happy, too.
05:48Oh, boy, that'll be the day.
05:51Even if she is the wrong girl for you.
05:53Will you stop saying that?
05:54Oh, but it is true.
05:56You will be throwing your life away.
05:58It is not so.
05:59And it's my life,
06:00and I can throw it any place I please.
06:02I could change myself into a brunette.
06:06How do you like the Helen of Troy look?
06:08Have a nice trip home.
06:18Boy, anything I can't stand is that nagging Jeannie.
06:24Fingers.
06:29Diane.
06:30General.
06:32Hello, Polly.
06:32Liz.
06:33Uh, I just ran into Russia.
06:35Tommy.
06:35I want you to meet a very old friend of the family,
06:38Grover Caldwell.
06:39Oh, how do you do?
06:40So you're the lucky man.
06:42Liz has told me all about you.
06:43Oh, has she?
06:44Good.
06:45Grover, tell him the news.
06:48Captain,
06:49after a long and honorable military career,
06:51the department has prevailed upon General Stone
06:53to turn in his stars for a pair of striped trousers
06:55and an attaché case.
06:58Turn in his stars.
06:58That's State Department talk.
07:01Meaning that Daddy is our newest ambassador.
07:05Well, congratulations, sir.
07:07That's wonderful news.
07:08Thank you, Tony.
07:09It's a great opportunity for both of us.
07:11Yeah, yes, yes, I'm sure it will be.
07:13Us.
07:14Who do you think he's taking to Europe as his military attaché?
07:18Yeah, don't get the idea that it's just because you're going to be the father of my grandchildren
07:22that, uh, you're getting this plum.
07:25I'd have wanted you with me in any case.
07:27Well, you people have a lot to talk about,
07:28so I'll just pop off and take care of the passports and clearances.
07:31Tony?
07:32Oh, yes, yeah, pleasure.
07:33General.
07:33Uh, sir, uh...
07:37Tony?
07:40Don't you think it's wonderful?
07:41Well, now, slow down.
07:42Slow down.
07:43I can't, I can't quit what I'm doing.
07:44It's a great opportunity, Tony.
07:46Of course it is.
07:47Tony just hasn't had time to think about it.
07:50But we can all discuss this at dinner.
07:53We are coming to your house for dinner tonight, aren't we?
07:54Yes, yes, of course, but there's nothing to discuss, Melissa.
07:57I'm in the space program because that's where I want to be.
08:00I, I don't mean to sound ungrateful, sir,
08:02and I know you'll make a, a wonderful, a fine ambassador.
08:06Well, I'll, I'll see you both at seven.
08:09Congratulations again, sir.
08:10Thank you, Tony.
08:14Frozen peas.
08:17Frozen hors d'oeuvres.
08:20And, uh, wild rice.
08:21What are you doing, master?
08:24I'm preparing dinner.
08:25Why?
08:26Well, cooking is woman's work.
08:28You wouldn't, would you?
08:30Oh, if you did that, you, you'd save my life.
08:32I have a report to finish.
08:33Uh, do you know anything about cooking?
08:36Everything.
08:37I will take care of it.
08:38You go soak your body in a warm tub,
08:41set it with rose petals.
08:42Well, that's a good idea, but I don't think so right now.
08:45Oh, if you want to know anything about the cooking,
08:47the instructions are on the back of the boxes.
08:49Uh, you do read, don't you?
08:51Hmm, right to left, left to right, top to bottom,
08:53or bottom to top.
08:56Uh, left to right, top to bottom.
08:57Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
09:27Jeannie?
09:38Jeannie?
09:39Jeannie?
09:40Jeannie?
09:44Jeannie, what's going on there?
09:45Ow!
09:572,000 years ago, my sister made better gravy than that.
10:10She was the worst cook in the Middle East.
10:13Oh, that's them.
10:14Melissa's always on time.
10:16I'll have to take them out to dinner.
10:18Will you do me a favor, please?
10:19Will you just stay out of sight?
10:27Good evening.
10:28Tony?
10:29Huh?
10:30Oh, here's your hat.
10:31Keep this.
10:31You're not staying.
10:32Hi.
10:33Listen, I've got to apologize for the burning smell.
10:35It's the dinner.
10:35I never smelled anything more appetizing in my whole life.
10:38Huh?
10:43Oh, Tony.
10:46Why, it's beautiful.
10:48Oh, nothing, really.
10:50Captain Nelson!
10:53Who's that?
10:54Who's who?
10:56No, no, no, Melissa.
10:57You don't want to go in the kitchen.
10:58The wild rice went crazy.
11:01Please, please.
11:02Now...
11:03Tony.
11:03Huh?
11:05Excuse me.
11:06Tony, you never told me that you had a house boy.
11:28Oh, no, no, I didn't, did I?
11:32Where did you ever find her?
11:33Uh, what's his name?
11:35Kato.
11:35Jeannie.
11:36Jeannie Kato.
11:37Those look marvelous.
11:38May I?
11:43Fantastic.
11:43Try one, Melissa.
11:44Oh, I want to.
11:45Why don't you try several?
11:46I'll be with you in a minute.
11:47Jeannie Kato means the beautiful.
11:51Listen, who do you think you're going to fool with this crazy disguise?
11:53It is no disguise, see?
11:55Huh?
11:56Oh!
11:57If I had a house boy that could cook like this, I wouldn't pull his hair.
12:06You must give me the recipe for this.
12:09What do you call it?
12:10Ragout a la Simba.
12:11Why, only the recipe.
12:13I think we ought to take Jeannie Kato to Europe with us.
12:16Would you like that?
12:18Thou art going to Europe?
12:19No.
12:20We'll discuss this later, Melissa.
12:24I'll be very happy to go with you wherever you go.
12:26Oh, no, you wouldn't.
12:27No, you wouldn't.
12:27You wouldn't like it.
12:29But he's such a treasure.
12:30And good help is impossible to get.
12:33Even harder to get rid of.
12:34With dishes like ragout a la Simba, our embassy would be the social center of Europe.
12:38Where in the world did you ever learn to cook like this?
12:41Where I come from, it is very common.
12:43Very.
12:44Oh?
12:45Where do you come from?
12:47The Philippines.
12:47His mother traveled a lot.
12:56Thank you, Jeannie Kato.
12:59That was the best cake I've ever tasted in my whole life.
13:02I'm only sorry you won't be coming to Europe with us.
13:04Who says he won't?
13:05Huh?
13:06We'll talk about this later, okay?
13:08Now, now, now, wait a minute.
13:09Kato is not going to Europe.
13:11As a matter of fact, I'm not going to Europe, and neither is my wife going to Europe.
13:14Well, anything you say, darling.
13:18Good night, Miss.
13:20Good night, Dad.
13:21Sir.
13:22Good night.
13:25The dark-haired one will get her way.
13:27She's very strong-minded.
13:29Just keep out of this fella.
13:30Good night.
13:31Good night.
13:32Good night.
13:32Oh, we are going out.
13:42No, I am going out.
13:44I'm going to a bachelor's party.
13:45Oh, what's this bachelor's party?
13:47It's an old tradition, Jeannie.
13:49Before a wedding, a bunch of happy, carefree bachelors get together and throw a party for
13:54the groom-to-be.
13:54Oh, I like parties.
13:56You can't come.
13:57But why?
13:58Because women aren't allowed.
14:00Now, smoke out.
14:00But I...
14:01Out.
14:14A million bottles on the beach, and I have to pick hers.
14:16Get out.
14:38I just got here.
14:40Oh, what?
14:42Glad to see you.
14:42Well, is the condemned man ready for the...
14:46Wait a minute.
14:48You do look like a condemned man.
14:49Oh, come on.
14:50Let's get on with it.
14:50Let's get this thing over with, huh?
14:52You sound like you're going to a hang.
14:53What's the matter with you?
14:54Nothing.
14:54Nothing wrong with Melissa, either.
14:56I didn't say there was.
14:56She's a little strong-minded, but there's nothing matter with that.
14:58Why not?
14:59Yeah, she's intelligent, a reasonable girl.
15:00Sure, she is.
15:01Well, lucky you got to have her.
15:02Boy, you really got the last-minute titters, haven't you?
15:04Come on, we better get out of here.
15:05Yeah.
15:06Yeah.
15:06Mm.
15:06One hand.
15:29I don't blame you guys.
15:31Why don't we have a ball?
15:32Why don't we just drink up and forget all the shop talk, okay?
15:34Tony?
15:35Captain?
15:36How about a toast to the best man?
15:38Well, thank you very much, General.
15:39Here's to Grover.
15:42Grover?
15:43Wait a minute.
15:44If he's the best man, what does that make me?
15:46The astronaut most likely to be in Port Moresby tomorrow.
15:50We have a very important mission for you there, Captain.
15:52Will you excuse us, Jet?
15:54Yes, of course, sir.
15:56Look, if you'd rather have him for your best man, why don't you just come out and say so,
16:00instead of having your own private general ship me off to Australia?
16:03Private general?
16:04Well, wait a minute.
16:04I didn't know anything about this, Rod.
16:05Sure you didn't.
16:07Roger.
16:07Roger, wait a minute.
16:08I can straighten everything out.
16:09Rog?
16:09Anything wrong, Captain?
16:11Oh, hello.
16:12Hello, sir.
16:13You're not nervous about all this?
16:15Oh, well, a little.
16:17You know how it is.
16:18No, I don't.
16:19I wish I did.
16:20You know, in all the years I've been practicing psychiatry, you're the most interesting person
16:24I've ever met.
16:25Thank you, sir.
16:26Oh, I was speaking clinically.
16:27What do you find so interesting about me?
16:30Well, you don't fit into any known category.
16:33One minute you're calm, the next you're hysterical.
16:35You can pass the most difficult test the Air Force has devised, and yet you hear voices.
16:40You're a top scientist, and you suffer from delusions.
16:43You don't call that interesting?
16:45Oh, I can't wait to put you in a book.
16:48You need this.
16:49Oh.
16:50Oh, thanks.
16:51Well, I'm afraid I have to be running along now.
16:53But, Captain.
16:54Yes, sir.
16:55I'll be seeing you.
16:55Well, here we go, lover boy.
17:00Time to cut the cake.
17:01Oh, yeah, yeah.
17:01Where is it?
17:02Gentlemen, get around.
17:03Come on.
17:04Let's go.
17:04Let's go.
17:05Hey, what are you doing?
17:26Oh, I want to see your bachelor party.
17:27Get out of here right away.
17:28Oh, hello.
17:29Hey, it's her.
17:29General.
17:30Oh, it is nice to see you again.
17:33Do we know each other?
17:34Well, of course.
17:35Oh, you do not remember.
17:37You admired my cake.
17:39Yeah, her cake.
17:39Her cake.
17:40Oh, her cake.
17:41Oh, yeah.
17:41It's beautiful.
17:42Tony, I'll see you Saturday morning.
17:44Saturday morning.
17:45Saturday morning.
17:46At your wedding.
17:46Oh, yes.
17:47Yes, of course.
17:48Good night.
17:49Good night.
17:49Good night.
17:51He will make an excellent father-in-law for someone.
17:54Yeah.
17:55It's all to the earth.
17:56I hope I'm not intruding.
17:57Hello, Grover.
17:58Jeannie, this is Grover Coltwell.
17:59It is a pleasure.
18:00It's a pleasure.
18:01It's mine.
18:02Well, by this time, Saturday, you and Melissa will be.
18:05Honeymooning in Honolulu.
18:07Jamaican.
18:08Honolulu.
18:09Oh, didn't Melissa tell you?
18:10I'm sorry.
18:11I'm sure she meant to.
18:12Well, uh, no.
18:13No, it probably slipped her mind.
18:15You and Melissa are our old friend.
18:19We grew up together.
18:20Melissa and I were inseparable in those days.
18:23The horse show, water skiing, even went to the same orthodontist.
18:28By the time we were ready to take the braces off our teeth, I was on my way to prep school.
18:31Melissa went to West Point.
18:33Just lost track of each other.
18:35Until a few weeks ago.
18:36Yeah, well, Melissa's very fond of you.
18:37She spoke highly of you at dinner last night.
18:40Oh, I'm very fond of her, too.
18:41You know, it's funny how things work out.
18:43Melissa and I, such great dreams together.
18:45Now, in two days, you two will be honeymooning in Honolulu.
18:49Jamaica.
18:49Oh, Honolulu.
18:50Jamaica.
18:50Honolulu.
18:51Jamaica.
18:51Oh, I wouldn't count it.
18:52I know Melissa.
18:53So do I.
18:53Look, I don't know what you're selling with.
19:04Oh, good morning.
19:04Morning, Tony.
19:05Come on in.
19:07Oh, sit down.
19:08I'd rather stand, thank you.
19:10Well, what's on your mind, Grover?
19:12Tony, I think you're making a terrible mistake.
19:14Which one?
19:15I mean, how do you mean?
19:17By not accepting the position as General Stone's military at-to-sea in Europe,
19:21it's a unique opportunity, career-wise.
19:23It can only offer enormous opportunities later on.
19:25Well, I'm very thankful for your concern about my career,
19:29but frankly, I don't think it's any of your business.
19:31Well, I feel that whatever has to do with Melissa is my business.
19:34Huh?
19:34Look, obviously, you're not thinking for feelings in this matter,
19:37and if you were, you would obviously have the enormous opportunity.
19:39Okay, all right.
19:40Look, I can't handle this without coffee.
19:42Let me get dressed, and we'll discuss this over breakfast.
19:45Make yourself, uh, make yourself at home.
19:49Ow!
19:51You do love me.
19:54You've loved me for a long time.
19:58Why have you kept it such a secret?
20:10Oh, and I love you, too.
20:13I know now I've always loved you.
20:16There is still time to make our dreams come true.
20:28Oh, well, now, where were we?
20:30She's too good for you!
20:38Melissa?
20:39Tony?
20:40Grover?
20:43Oh, it's all right, sir.
20:44I think we're going to be married.
20:46What?
20:46That's right.
20:48I've known Grover all my life,
20:50and he waits until the day before my wedding to tell me that he loves me.
20:53But I thought you loved Tony.
20:55I did.
20:55But he's just not the man I became engaged to.
21:02I'm, well, I'm very disappointed in Tony.
21:05He, he lacks ambition.
21:08Well, we can't all make general.
21:12Well, I know.
21:13All I wanted to do was to try to help him,
21:17and, and he seems to resent it.
21:20Well, on the day before your wedding,
21:22I'd say you have a problem.
21:28Now, listen, Melissa,
21:29there's a few things I want to get straightened out.
21:31In the first place,
21:32I don't want your ex-boyfriend telling me
21:34where I'm going to honeymoon.
21:35And, and I, I don't like my best man being picked for me,
21:38and I don't like having plans made for my future
21:40when I don't really think it concerns you.
21:42What? Oh, thanks, Jeannie.
21:44You must be a mind reader.
21:45Oh, no, no.
21:46I cannot read minds, Master.
21:48Oh, but I have a friend, Nostradamus,
21:50who does a marvelous job.
21:51I bet you do.
21:55You know, I'm going to miss you.
21:59You know, you're, uh, you're really very nice.
22:02I mean, take this for instance.
22:04I, I didn't even have to ask you for it.
22:06And that dinner you made,
22:08that was fantastic.
22:09Well, of course it was fantastic.
22:13But it was also delicious.
22:15Well, I, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it, Master.
22:18Yeah.
22:19You're always thinking what I like.
22:21You'd never send Roger to Australia, would you?
22:24He wouldn't make plans for my honeymoon
22:27without consulting me, would you?
22:31You're expecting Nostradamus or something?
22:33Well, speak of the devil.
22:46I mean, we've just been talking about it.
22:47I mean, I've been thinking.
22:48Come on in.
22:49Tony!
22:52I'm sorry.
22:53What?
22:54Uh, uh, for disturbing you so late.
22:56But, uh, Grover and I must talk to you.
22:58Well, as a matter of fact, I've been wanting to talk to you.
23:00Uh, Tony, Tony, now, the simple truth.
23:03Yeah.
23:03Yes.
23:04Uh, uh, Grover?
23:06Melissa wants to marry me.
23:07That is, Melissa and I want to be married.
23:13I'm sorry, Tony.
23:15It's just that, well, you're,
23:18you're not the man I became engaged to.
23:20And I don't think you realize
23:23how much you've changed.
23:25Oh, I know.
23:26It hurts now.
23:27By the time you realize
23:29it's all for the best.
23:33Well, I hope you two will be
23:34very happy together.
23:36Thank you, Tony.
23:38I hope you find the right girl.
23:39I'm really not looking for anyone.
23:41I must say you're taking this very decently.
23:43Well, we can't win them all.
23:45What?
23:48Naturally, it'll hurt at first.
23:49I'll just have to learn to live with it.
24:07Goodbye, Tony.
24:09Bye, Liz.
24:11Grover?
24:11Grover?
24:19Boy, was that close.
24:25Thou will never know how close, Master.
24:27Well, things always work out for the best.
24:30You mean you were not unhappy
24:31that your marriage was called off?
24:33Unhappy?
24:33Unhappy?
24:35Jeannie, this is the first time in months
24:36I've felt absolutely free.
24:38Oh, boy.
24:40Oh, Master,
24:41thou has a lot to learn.
24:43Hey.
24:55You're welcome.
24:56You're welcome.
25:00¶¶
25:30¶¶
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