Whoopi: Identity Crisis😂part2/2

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00:00of your finances if there's anything i can do no i appreciate it i appreciate you saying

00:04that you know but courtney and rita just like so uh because i don't like you know shred you don't

00:10shred excuse me does anybody around here remember that i am the victim here no dr

00:17phil you know what he says he says there are no victims only volunteers

00:23well dr phil can get in line behind my brother his girlfriend and that broad at the bank and kiss my

00:29ass voluntarily well that's one line you don't want to get to the front of

00:38oh terrence is here terrence is here i scream you scream we all scream for the liquor man

00:44mavis no one is happier to see me than you that's because you're the liquor man

00:49whoo

00:52how about

00:54now you're here to mavis

00:57uh what's the money

00:58okay you don't have to say that i'm not so long

01:04it's been years since i studied chinese but i i think i recognize the words black and deadbeat

01:09that's my dad um my dad says that we need cash for this delivery oh come on now man this is a

01:21mistake at the bank you and i and your father have had a long-standing account here i'm sorry my father

01:27says cash only if it were me no if it were me it'd still be cash only

01:34terrence come on man i mean i'll put you through college i know and look where it got me

01:40no

01:52mavis i brought you treats we had a coffee clutch at bush headquarters

01:58i know you didn't actually think i was going to eat some bush cookies

02:01yeah give them to our nest she hadn't had anything to eat you're on hard times i just want to help

02:10well if you want to help you shouldn't be working for the man who put us in the hard times

02:16i have a surprise for you i'm paying rent no really look at this let's see my brother's paying

02:24rent my brother's giving me some look at my brother what the hell is this this a check what

02:29the hell am i going to do with a check you know all my assets are frozen well not to worry i won't

02:34have sufficient funds until next week i just thought you'd be worn by the gesture

02:40am i getting paid today you'll get paid soon enough i don't suppose i could interest you in

02:46some of these cds thank you i already have the stack you gave me in lieu of health insurance

02:55i know this is a difficult time for you so i'm floating you some green until you get your

02:59bank account straightened out oh rita that's very generous wow that's amazing but with all that

03:04money you think you could afford longer skirts thank you but no what's wrong with you i'm tossing

03:15you a lifesaver don't tell me you're too proud to hang on i don't take money from france

03:21oh may ray i'm your friend you didn't let me finish

03:30or my brother's girlfriend you know what this is crazy you got a business to run i mean how you

03:37gonna pay nasim and jawiga i would rather see them out on the street with a tin cup

03:43than take money from anybody she's a woman of principle that's right

03:48and i'm just saying to everybody i don't want your cookies i don't want your money i don't want

03:52your sympathy all i want is my identity back i really expected much less from you people

03:58i don't want to hear no arguments tonight we let him mavis win surety won three pots enough is

04:15enough sophia don't make me come over there listen i hope you all don't want anything else to drink

04:21because we down the water from the tap in the bathroom oh i'll have some more of this pair royale

04:29it's delicious and stopped my cough okay you guys are just being nice i know this is pathetic i know

04:37you're drinking panther piss you know if identity theft is that easy why aren't we doing it yeah

04:44lara flynn boyle raises five dollars

04:48your left breast weighs more than lara that's true that is true you know what i heard this story about

04:55a 61 year old man who tried to pass himself off as tiger woods yeah i remember that that explain that

05:02to me who in the world doesn't know what tiger woods look like yeah no kitty he's the world's

05:06greatest asian golfer asian golfer tiger woods is black i don't care what he tells the newspapers

05:15see every time we get somebody everybody want to snatch him up it ain't bad enough that she got jackie

05:20chance she want everybody else okay come on y'all i want to play uh i'm in for 10. i'm losing my ass

05:28here is that a bad thing you're right you're right i'm sorry i'm sorry ah we can all stand and lose

05:35some of that you're right except for rita she doesn't have one what you talking about brothers be

05:41sweating this badunkadunk well i fold me too what you're doing sophia you folding right yeah i guess

05:57i got a pair of threes oh dang mavis you win really yep let's just take a look huh oh look a pair of

06:06threes she got four kings and what do you have oh many many you got a boat look at that okay you guys

06:17i told you i didn't want your help i asked you to leave it alone but you wouldn't right couldn't

06:21leave it alone anas anything oh good morning morning why are you dressed

06:36in the same clothes as yesterday oh because i've been up all night going through this stuff to see

06:40if there's anything else this guy stole from me so easily my god you americans and so tied to your

06:46computers and electronic banking my god you know in my village in iran there's only one computer

06:52it was owned by a very respected scientist who had the thing for teenslut9000.com

06:58i've seen that site yes oh uh yes oh look at the imaginary time to make some imaginary money

07:12mavis how long you gonna go around broke like this why won't you let me help you you know what you're

07:21right organize this oh thank you mavis i'm really good at this you'll see

07:35aness anything

07:41what the hell is this who died apparently you did what look at this page 14 of the post rhythm and

07:48blues artist mavis ray was killed yesterday in the tragic parasailing accident in south carolina he was

07:5558. he 58 58 does it say 58 there i can't imagine who would have thought i was 58 i'd rather be poor

08:06than be 58. i mean look at this mug does this look like the mug of a 58 year old and don't say a word

08:12mavis you're missing the point the man who stole your identity seems to have passed what does it say

08:18where the body's laid out because there's a part of him i'd really like to keep oh that's wrong

08:30i am so glad we were able to work this out

08:35you didn't work anything out god worked it out smoke that thief god did what the bank wouldn't

08:41or couldn't do mavis what let it go god has and uh who are you rita she's helping me out she asked

08:52let it go rita there's your new credit card you checked your em and now if you enter your pin

08:57she's pulling a stencil i'm so proud

09:09all these are clear right the checks everything is clear no problem right you sure absolutely okay i

09:13believe you but i want you to check anyway

09:15well somebody's been a busy bee says here you're already maxed out

09:27how is that possible you just handed these to me it says here you bought five thousand dollars

09:31worth of jewelry in tokyo this morning how could i have bought something in tokyo when i've been

09:36sitting here with your dumb ass all day maybe they're connecting you oh oh hello hello

09:49hello hello hello

10:03emily's coming up next right here on nbc

10:10i was at the horse auction and i saw this most beautiful thoroughbred of course the horse of that

10:15statue needs the finest tack money can buy not to mention some lovely leather chaps that really

10:20show off my ass sure it was all expensive but what do i care it wasn't my credit card it's good to be mavis

10:28it's good to be mavis ray

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