S1.E9 ∙ Chateau Mayle Sun, Apr 25, 1993 With the arrival of September, Peter's attention is now focused on his vineyard and the upcoming harvest. He has an agreement with Amedee Clement where he will do all of the work and Peter, as the owner, will get one third of the product. Peter becomes concerned when last year's vintage seems not to meet with the approval of the local workmen working in the kitchen. He's disappointed to learn that his grapes are mixed with everyone else's and turned to wine at a local factory. He sets about to learn about wine making and is referred to Père Edouard who proves to be a bit of a character.
00:30I've been waiting for September since January.
00:53Over nine long months I'd watched the vines bud, shoot, flower and grow grapes.
01:00Now the vondonge, the wine harvest, was just around the corner and I was getting pretty broody.
01:06I'd never had one of these before.
01:10I'd had cupboards under the stairs, boxes under the bed and a converted sideboard in the garden shed.
01:16But they were all small and mucky.
01:19Now I'd got a real one.
01:21A cellar.
01:23A 600-berth bedroom for booze.
01:27God, you frighten me.
01:29Thought you were up there.
01:31No, I was down here.
01:33The word processor.
01:35The plug works.
01:37Great.
01:38But how the hell did any expect me to concentrate but a pregnant feel just outside the window?
01:52Well, and there they were, my grapes.
02:01The deeds said they came with the house.
02:03As far as I was concerned, it was the house that came with the vines.
02:07Not that I knew what to do with them.
02:11Luckily, there was Amaday.
02:13We had an agreement.
02:15We paid for the gear.
02:16He did the work.
02:18Two-thirds for him.
02:19One-third for us.
02:20Hello, Amaday!
02:21That is, until I'd learned how to do it myself.
02:25Right?
02:26Right?
02:27I wasn't after his cut.
02:29I was after his know-how.
02:31Ah, it's lovely.
02:33Very beautiful.
02:35It's too cold in the morning.
02:37Too cold?
02:39Ah, yes, but this afternoon.
02:41This afternoon?
02:42It's too cold in the afternoon.
02:45Too hot?
02:47Ah, yes, but they did speak of rain.
02:50The rain.
02:51Not the rain.
02:53Not the rain.
02:54There isn't much weather left.
02:57Why not rain?
02:59That.
03:02A Bulgarian nuclear power station?
03:06Et s'il y a une fuite, eh?
03:08Le nucléaire.
03:11I suppose if there was a leak.
03:14Et s'il a puits, arrive de la Bulgarie.
03:17And the rain was coming from Bulgaria.
03:20Alors le bonhomme, il boit son pinard.
03:23Glou, glou, glou, glou.
03:24Et...
03:25Capote.
03:28C'est très délicat, monsieur Mel.
03:30Très délicat.
03:32C'est très délicat.
03:38Hell.
03:42Nine months out, the kitchen was still only half-finished.
03:46But at least the new wave of builders turned out as promised.
03:49Mr. Ahmed Bansouma, the tailor.
03:53Mr. Manuel Ramos, the painter.
03:56And Emilio Zanetti, who was a carpenter, Evans, kitchen designer, and French polisher.
04:04Cuisine Versailles.
04:08I thought for a kitchen, a bit less palatial.
04:14C'est très beau, Emilio.
04:16C'est très beau, c'est Emilio.
04:16Arrête.
04:17Ahmed.
04:18Cuisine Empire.
04:20Napoleon Kitchen.
04:21Something a bit more...
04:23Attendez, regardez.
04:26That's more like it.
04:27Ah, oui, non, non, non, non, non, non.
04:30Ça, c'était avant, madame Mell.
04:32This is a before and a before and after picture, darling.
04:36Avant, après.
04:37But that's exactly what we want.
04:40Avant, the steel before.
04:44Trop provençant.
04:47Oui, c'est bien.
04:49C'est bien.
04:50But when?
04:55Quand?
04:58Le 15th?
05:00The 15th.
05:03You sure?
05:04Oui.
05:04Ben Souma, le 22, et...
05:08Ramos, le 30.
05:10Normalement.
05:13We'll drink to that.
05:15Chairman.
05:19Now, this is our wine.
05:23Notre vin.
05:25Last year's.
05:26I'd like your opinion.
05:28Votre vin?
05:29Attention, attention.
05:30Ramos, il est expert.
05:33Yes.
05:33Yes, our wine.
05:35Amaday makes it.
05:39Ah, bon.
05:44Merci.
05:45So, what about Chateau Male?
05:48I think you might find it modest,
05:51but not without personality.
05:54Santé.
05:55Santé.
05:55Santé.
05:55Santé.
05:55Santé.
05:55Santé.
06:03Santé.
06:06Alors?
06:08Je le trouve, um, um, très, très bon.
06:12Très bon.
06:12would anyone care for a pastis
06:20what do you really think of it you've been pouring and asking me that question all day
06:34i told you perky insolent and um a touch for jupiter then why did ralus who knows his
06:43onions look doubtful look they've been on the board since they were born it's in their blood so
06:50i know the next time they come around why don't you talk to them about cricket
06:57i think this wine's absolutely lovely
07:07i think it's you for i'll say that again i think it's you
07:27hey c'est les frais brakes you mean this thing goes
07:40ça marche mais oui c'est un camillon comme ça un camillon américain
07:46il a fait la guerre ce camillon
07:50i'm sure but which war where's le patron
07:53ah bah yes
07:55and i amaday
08:14bonjour grand-père
08:19bonjour
08:20amaday j'ai um broken
08:24oh ça ne fait rien
08:26amaday i may have been a complete fool but um not le vin
08:32ouais
08:32do we make it le vin
08:35easy
08:37too old
08:50so where do we make it
08:56great flurry
09:18it keeps here
09:20and whoosh
09:21down
09:22in the metal shoe
09:24the grapes
09:29it go through the roller crusher
09:32this
09:38old
09:39no good
09:39hey
09:40in the time
09:43fermentation
09:4460 000 litre
09:46hey
09:49c'est modern
09:50hey
09:50marketing
09:59Marketing, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch, publicité, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ching, and now the office of Mr Max, the big boss. Coming.
10:08And this, the bottle of tomorrow. A midday?
10:13Most impressive, Mr Max. I had no idea.
10:16Have you a wife, Mr May?
10:19Why do you ask?
10:20For Mrs May. Le pince. Le ban. Très à la mode.
10:24to business
10:28my wine i told them i'm a complete burke
10:38the grapes are mixed with everyone else's
10:42mulched by a fertilizer roller fermented in a bunker
10:47and then sold in an aluminium haggis
10:50is it important
10:52it's not perhaps as romantic as i'd hoped
10:59this is drink darling not fine art
11:02peter
11:09peter
11:22this is wonderful
11:37it's wonderful
11:44you start so early
11:46you come on c'est si tôt
11:51vous vous êtes
11:53c'est rien ça c'est rien ça c'est rien
11:55n'oubliez pas votre café là
11:57ah c'est fait merci
11:59you're ready
12:01shall i make some more
12:02um encore
12:03ah oui oui
12:04d'accord merci
12:06ah
12:13ah
12:15bah
12:16collection
12:17quite a hot little gallery you've got here monsieur ramos
12:25mais
12:26sir
12:26chevalier ramos
12:29knight of the royal order of the glue glue
12:31it's
12:32oh yes it is
12:35oh yes it is
12:39Listen. I said, mon vin. Mais, you're right. Pas mon vin. But, I want to make the real stuff.
12:56Si? Le stuff. Vous, expert. The tops. Alors, who do I go to, to learn?
13:09Professeur. Ah, good.
13:14Il faut aller voir le père Édouard.
13:19Le père Édouard.
13:23Sauvé. Il est... magique.
13:28Magique. That's what we're after. Attachable.
13:33Je...
13:34Mais attention.
13:39Il est... spécial.
13:42Special? Fantastic.
13:44Non, non. Pas spécial. Special.
13:49There was a kitchen a bit like the one we chose in this magazine.
13:54Mrs. Annette?
14:04Annie?
14:04Annie?
14:06Annie?
14:07Annie?
14:08Annie?
14:10Annie?
14:11It drops everything, drinks endless cups of coffee, and he's got odd bright eyes.
14:39Left or right?
14:42Left.
14:45Then he suddenly disappears into thin air.
14:48Maybe he's a Martian and they came and picked him up.
14:52He'll probably be back tonight for the tape measure.
14:55There'll be an odd glow in the sky and the vessel will descend with its blazing sign.
15:02Emilio Zanetti, Martian carpenter.
15:07Annie.
15:09Mecca.
15:10Le Père Édouard.
15:14Ready?
15:19So what's going on?
15:22They're finishing lunch.
15:24How many courses?
15:26We've been here for ten minutes and no one's taken any notice.
15:30This is a very complicated way of buying a few bottles of wine.
15:34We don't want to buy it.
15:38We want to know how they make it.
15:41These people possess an age-old secret, Annie.
15:43They are alchemists.
15:46They perform the miracle of turning fruit into nectar.
15:50I'm going to wait in the car.
15:53Wait.
15:53At last.
15:57An alchemist.
16:03Next.
16:03Oh, heavens no.
16:16No, we haven't come for wine.
16:18And we wanted to see, um, voir le Père Édouard.
16:24Édouard?
16:25Pas possible.
16:26Il est constipé.
16:27Well, yes, um, of course.
16:31Poor thing.
16:32Uh, if he's constipated, we'd better call it a day.
16:36Alors, uh, merci et bonne journée.
16:40Uh, anglais, a medicine for constipation.
16:53Par là.
16:58Les anglais.
16:59Eh, écoute.
17:01Les anglais, ils ont-tu dit?
17:02Eh, ils veulent quoi, les anglais?
17:03Ils veulent mon vin.
17:04Je vous dis qu'il n'y a plus de vin.
17:05Ah, merde, les anglais.
17:06Ah, merde, merde, merde, merde.
17:07Eh, mais le caisse, une bouteille.
17:10Je vous dis qu'il n'y a plus de vin, moi.
17:12Fini, le pinard.
17:13Il n'y a plus.
17:15Mais wine.
17:16Il est constipé.
17:19Eh, eh, eh, pour constipation.
17:26Oh, c'est de l'anglais, c'est du charabia.
17:33Eh, c'est, c'est où la lettre en Amérique?
17:35Pour ça, help.
17:37Ah.
17:39Eh, I see you, you need a translation.
17:42Um, letter from America.
17:45No problem.
17:46Only two, please, to help.
17:49Le docteur.
17:51Le docteur, oui, le docteur.
17:53Le docteur.
17:55Well, in that case, um, a deal.
17:57Un marché.
17:59Um, we'll come back tomorrow.
18:01Demain.
18:02Eh, I'll translate.
18:04And then, maybe you, eh,
18:07peut-être.
18:17Bien.
18:17We're in.
18:20Count me out.
18:22You were servile.
18:23It's another world, Annie.
18:25Takes time to be accepted, that's all.
18:28You're obviously not used to clients.
18:30You can say that again.
18:31Bonsoir, Emily.
18:38C'est pour demain, Monsieur Mell.
18:40You don't mean the harvest?
18:44Tomorrow?
18:45Eh, eh.
18:46I thought par ripe.
18:48Eh, la pluie arrive, hein?
18:50Oh, yes, of course.
18:52The rain.
18:53On compte sur vous, Monsieur Mell, eh?
18:54On compte sur vous.
18:56Eh, il faut faire vite.
18:58He's counting on you.
19:00Speed is essential.
19:04Bonsoir, Amadei.
19:05Bonsoir, Monsieur Dame.
19:07Bonsoir.
19:07All right.
19:11Choose your peasant.
19:13I'm going to do both.
19:15You're going to let Amadei down.
19:18What's the hurry?
19:20Just because he's got some stupid idea about nuclear rain.
19:24How's the novel coming on?
19:27I beg your pardon?
19:29You could harvest your own grapes.
19:31They're out there on your own doorstep.
19:33Easy.
19:35That's not good enough.
19:36You've got to go and complicate things.
19:38You're dissipating your energies.
19:40I'm not dissipating anything.
19:43Glad to hear it.
19:44And you know something?
19:45I'm beginning to wish I'd said rabbits.
19:48I'm beginning to wish I'd told everyone I was going to Provence to rear rabbits.
19:52Because people won't keep getting up your nose by asking how your rabbits are coming on, will they?
19:59No.
20:03Hey, I'll cover, I'll cover.
20:04What?
20:14Hey.
20:22Hey.
20:24Hey.
20:27Hey.
22:00You did say bishop.
22:03Yes, that's the problem with being a bishop.
22:06People are always surprised to see you anywhere.
22:08In the streets, in the shops, in the john, even worse in a winery.
22:14Are you converting?
22:16No, but Père Édouard is.
22:19Dollars into francs.
22:21Édouard?
22:23I agree.
22:24Six mille sept cents.
22:26I'm buying wine.
22:27Six mille sept cents.
22:28Come on.
22:29Seminary, of course.
22:31You read the article, too, did you?
22:33What article?
22:35In Time magazine about this cunning old fox.
22:37So, he's a marketing genius.
22:40All America knows about him.
22:42Soon be more chic and more expensive than Margon.
22:45C'est combien, Édouard?
22:48Cher.
22:48Look, I think I might have been getting one or two things wrong.
22:56Would you like to join us, Peter?
22:57We were just going to say a prayer.
23:00To keep the price down?
23:02No.
23:03No.
23:04Just to ward off the hail.
23:07The what?
23:08There's a hail warning, and you know what hail does to the grapes.
23:11Just smashes them to a pulp.
23:13So, we were just going to say a prayer.
23:16Bishop, you doubtless think me insane, but I must go and fast.
23:19But before I do, I must tell you that thanks to you, I have seen the error of my ways.
23:25Bless you, Bishop.
23:26Bless you, Peter.
23:33Hey.
23:35Hey.
23:35Hey.
23:49La Grel!
23:51La Grel!
23:52La Grel?
23:54It's forecast.
23:55We must go fast.
23:56La Meteo.
23:57We must go fast.
23:59Penny!
23:59Oh, dear.
24:00Hail!
24:01Hail!
24:01Hail!
24:01Hail!
24:03Valley.
24:11bedrooms.
24:12sunshine!
24:12Oh, paarères!
24:14Hail!
24:15Oh, four!
24:16Lo pendев!
24:18Oh, way!
24:20Ho!
24:20How and Изir!
24:21Hannah!
24:21Oh, boy!
24:21Oh, man!
24:22There also many haveized scenarios .
24:24Here!
24:26Uh!
24:27Let me know.
24:27ices!
24:27Hopefully, it's going to get lost.
24:28Or console, it's going to be fun.
24:29Well, it is this man.
24:30Well, tell me.
24:30Nothing.
24:31It's an anti-hail rocket!
24:55Eh, poussez-vous!
25:01Attention!
25:03Anir!
25:31S'il vous plaît!
25:33S'il vous plaît!
25:35S'il vous plaît!
25:37S'il vous plaît!
25:39S'il vous plaît!
25:41S'il vous plaît!
25:43S'il vous plaît!
25:45S'il vous plaît!
25:47S'il vous plaît!
25:49S'il vous plaît!
25:53Oh, God.
25:58It's over.
26:07Oh, God.
26:09What?
26:11The flicks.
26:13The gendarmes?
26:15We're never going to get past them in this, Larry.
26:18There's only one thing for it.
26:20Here.
26:23The hard way.
26:53What goes up?
27:12What goes up?
27:25Oh, Ged, what exactly was the problem with the brakes?
27:42Oh, Ged, what exactly was the point of the brakes?
27:57Oh!
28:12Now for the crunch.
28:32Was all Amadei's work and worry going to be worth it?
28:35Was the stuff any good?
28:37We waited by the dial like anxious parents.
28:40According to Amadei, if our grapes rang up anything under 11% alcohol, the wine would be like fruit juice, and as a consequence, totally untrinkable.
29:10Attention!
29:15C'est coué?
29:17C'est...
29:20Chille!
29:20C'est...
29:21C'est...
29:21C'est...
29:22C'est...
29:23C'est...
29:23C'est...
29:24C'est...
29:25C'est...
29:32What the...
29:33Oh...
29:36No face for the...
29:41Back from Mars?
29:54J'ai une petite urgence.
29:58Emergency.
29:59You sure you're not taking on too much?
30:04You're not going to believe this, Annie. Marcel just delivered it.
30:13It's a present from Le Père Édouard, a bottle of his wine.
30:18A present?
30:19What for?
30:20For the marmalade. For his constipation. It worked.
30:25You sure you want to drink it?
30:28Why not?
30:29It won't make you jealous.
30:31I've realised, Annie, flash booze just isn't my scene.
30:37Overpriced, overrated. Bishop's booze, that's what it is.
30:41Give me simple pleasure any day.
30:44A toast.
30:46To Van Ordinaire.
30:54See what I mean?
30:56What's special about that?
30:58It's not bad.
31:00In fact, it's quite pleasant.
31:07Pleasant, that's the word.
31:12Very pleasant, even.
31:15Can you taste cinnamon?
31:17Yes, I think I can.
31:19A new-mown hay.
31:21It's quite extraordinary.
31:23The taste.
31:24It goes on and on.
31:25Mmm.
31:26It's gamey, even.
31:27Mmm.
31:28It's got that sort of gamey, spicy quality.
31:30I mean, let's face it, this is a sensational bottle.
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