S1.E11 ∙ Old Boys Sun, May 9, 1993 Annie has been giving English lesson to the local school children twice a week so is distressed when she reads in the local newspaper that the school may be forced to shut its doors. In addition to having only 9 pupils, the bathrooms are in dire need of repair. Colombani and is fellow tradesmen are prepared to provide the labor for free but still require 22,000 francs for material. The local priest, Father Pain, has a plan - get the locals to contribute some of their truffles which they can use to raise the necessary funds. It turns out that Rivière is the solution to the problem.
02:09We are living in a yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine.
02:18We are living the Yellow Submarine
02:23Yellow Submarine, Yellow Submarine
02:27And our friends are on the board
02:31Many more can live next to all
02:36Progress was steady.
02:41Annie worked out that, at the present rate of two lessons a week,
02:45the kids would be quite able to hold a reasonably intelligent conversation in Petersfield High Street
02:50by the time they were 175.
02:53And they loved it.
02:55So did she, which made the news, when it fell, even worse.
03:02The local paper was our contact with the outside world.
03:05Golden weddings, AGMs of associations of blood donors,
03:09pork butchers who shot their wives.
03:12And today, the threat of a grave injustice.
03:17Merci, Monsieur Colombani. C'est très urgent.
03:21Oui? Lunchtime. À l'heure du déjeuner.
03:25Tout le monde. Everyone.
03:29Oh, sorry. Pardon. Oh, no.
03:44I was just... I mean, we were just reading the newspaper.
03:47Je vous présente. L'Abbé Pain, ce curé.
03:50Bonjour. This is bad news.
03:53Il me laisse depuis longtemps, hein?
03:55So it's not a surprise.
03:56No. I have only nine pupils.
03:58I had eleven, then a father-going employed,
04:01so now seeing limites.
04:03This school is too old and too small.
04:07Last year, I fight and I win.
04:09Now, they find another reason.
04:12The lavatories. It's clever.
04:15The municipality has no money.
04:17The village is poor, so if I cannot do the repairs,
04:20we will have to close.
04:22Madame Maire, entreprise Colombani, à votre service.
04:26Never say die. The magnificent seven have arrived.
04:30Eh. Eh bé. Eh bé.
04:35Ça n'a pas changé.
04:37Exactement pareil.
04:40Oh, le... Oh, le...
04:44Oh, le...
04:45Oh, le souvenir, c'est le souvenir, ça.
04:47They were all at school, here.
04:51Ah! C'est ici que le rivière est cachée.
04:53Elle avait peur de la maîtresse.
04:55This is where Rivière hide to escape the mistress.
04:58Ah, le rivière.
05:00Il n'est pas le premier, le rivière, eh?
05:02He was always bottom.
05:04Oh, que servait-tu, ce bon Dieu, que servait-tu, ce...
05:09Et ça, ça marche, ça...
05:11Oh!
05:14Alors, Monsieur Colombani, how much, hm?
05:18Combien?
05:19Alors, les vasques, 5 000 femmes.
05:22Le carrelage, 8 000.
05:24Oh!
05:25Oh!
05:26Bon, 6 000.
05:286 000.
05:29Euh, la maçonnerie, 5 000?
05:315 000.
05:32Euh...
05:33La peinture, 2?
05:35Oui.
05:36Bon.
05:37Et la main-d'oeuvre, alors, est...
05:38Gratuite pour tout le monde.
05:39Don't do the work for nothing.
05:43Enfin, ça fait quand même 22 000, hein?
05:452 000 pounds!
05:47Oh!
05:48Regardez!
05:49Un coeur.
05:50Avec mon nom écrit dedans.
05:52Et celui de Josephine, ma femme.
05:55Oh!
05:56Oh!
05:57Oh!
05:58This is a true love, ça, Monsieur Melk.
06:00Oh, mon Dieu!
06:02Oh!
06:03Il faut absolument sauver cette école!
06:06So, the school was also a monument to Colombani's marriage.
06:10But how were we going to save it?
06:13We went for a walk looking for a bright idea.
06:16And found Rivière instead.
06:19Bonjour, Antoine!
06:21Vous cherchez quoi?
06:24Je cherchais les champignons!
06:26Why the boot, la botte?
06:29Je me protège, hein?
06:31Contre les vipères.
06:33Against snakes?
06:34Oh!
06:35Ça va!
06:36Avec, euh...
06:38Why would a woman protect you against vipers?
06:41Bah, elle court moins vite, hein?
06:44Women don't run as fast as men.
06:46So the vipers get them first.
06:51Charming!
06:54Pour vous?
06:55For me?
06:56Oui.
06:59Les champignons!
07:01Nice!
07:02Mushrooms.
07:05Are you sure you've got enough for yourself?
07:07Non, non, non, non.
07:08Oh.
07:09Thank you, Antoine.
07:10So unexpected.
07:20You're being ridiculous.
07:21And why would Rivière suddenly want to give me mushrooms?
07:24Because he's friendly.
07:26Rivière friendly, you're joking!
07:28He's lonely.
07:30He lives by himself. He's got no one apart from his mean old cousin.
07:34He wants you to be his friend.
07:36He wants to poison me, all like.
07:38I didn't sell his house.
07:40I didn't even write to Tony.
07:42I lied through my teeth.
07:44So, he gives me his mushrooms.
07:46And in France, if you're frightened of your fungi, you consult a chemist.
07:50Les lactaires, les trompettes de la mort, les chanterelles, tout est comestible.
07:56Pfft, poorly other one.
07:58She's a chemist, darling. She's got diplomas on the wall.
08:02Oh, yeah?
08:04She's another cousin.
08:06Look at her family likeness.
08:14This is becoming a nightmare.
08:16Annie, please.
08:18I love you very much.
08:19I can't bear the thought of you lying there inanimate in an omelette.
08:23Will you please put that fork down?
08:26No.
08:27A knock, a knock on the door.
08:28Oh, crap.
08:29You go.
08:32You know what it is?
08:33Fate.
08:37Told you?
08:38Saved.
08:39Abipo!
08:40Would you like to come in?
08:41No, please.
08:42I am interrupting your meal.
08:44Yes, you are.
08:45Do, please come in.
08:47Anyway, don't stay long.
08:48I have other people to see in the village.
08:50Listen, I would like to invite you tomorrow to a meeting in a church.
08:55I have the plan to save the school.
08:58Then why not have the meeting in the school?
09:00Oh.
09:01Oh.
09:02Always in the French village there is a conflict between the states and the church.
09:07Always the teacher don't like the priest.
09:10The priest before me always, he puts the spoke in the wheels and I don't want this.
09:13I want to make the school a present from the priest.
09:16Poor Marie.
09:17In that case, you can count on us.
09:20Great.
09:21Your dinner is going to be cool.
09:23I don't know.
09:24Oh, yes.
09:25So it is.
09:26Stone cold.
09:27Ruined.
09:28What a waste.
09:29Never mind.
09:30What's a few eggs.
09:31Oh, yes.
09:32So it is.
09:33Stone cold.
09:34Ruined.
09:35What a waste.
09:36Never mind.
09:37What's a few eggs.
09:51Oh.
09:52Oh.
09:53Bonjour.
09:54Um.
09:55Please excuse me for the mess.
09:56This is where I mend the church.
09:58What's the stain?
09:59Huh?
10:00Oh.
10:01Um.
10:02Tomates farcées.
10:03Delicious but I eat too quick.
10:04It looks fine.
10:05No stain is very important for the curé.
10:07Otherwise, they all say, you need a woman in your life.
10:10Sir, you wanted to be serious about your dry and cleaning, have I?
10:13Oh, sorry.
10:14Where's the rest of the meeting?
10:16Uh.
10:17Often this way.
10:19They want to, they don't.
10:22So there's only us?
10:26Well.
10:27Spill the beans.
10:29We're all ears.
10:34You see.
10:35Um.
10:36The school must not close.
10:37If the school close, there would be only old people in the village.
10:41And Marie would have to move somewhere else.
10:44Well, I, um.
10:47Had an idea.
10:48It's a brilliant idea.
10:49I remember from St. Leonards.
10:51A monastery?
10:52No.
10:53The town.
10:54You know, near Hastings.
10:55Huh.
10:56Anyway.
10:57I was there with my school to learn the English.
11:00I remember the harvest festival.
11:03Oh, yes.
11:04But, with a difference.
11:07This village is poor, but for one thing.
11:09No.
11:10Truffles.
11:11Truffles.
11:12Truffles.
11:13So, we have a truffle harvest festival.
11:14The people come.
11:15They fill the church with truffles.
11:16And then we send them.
11:17And we save the school.
11:18Brilliant.
11:19What do you think, Annie?
11:20Startling.
11:21He's very nice.
11:22He's not exactly what I call a hot shot businessman.
11:23His heart's in the right place.
11:24He's soft on her.
11:25Must be the ankle socks.
11:26Ankle socks?
11:27Ankle socks?
11:28Yes.
11:29So, yes.
11:30No.
11:31That's the key.
11:32What do you think, Annie?
11:33Startling.
11:34He's very nice.
11:35He's not exactly what I call a hot shot businessman.
11:38His heart's in the right place.
11:40He's soft on her.
11:43Must be the ankle socks.
11:46Ankle socks?
11:47Thank you so much.
12:17Don't overdo it, Guasimodo.
12:32If the office could save me now, what's the house like?
12:37Thin and a bit surprising.
12:47Inestimable.
12:49C'est la raison pour laquelle j'invite maintenant tous ceux et surtout toutes celles qui désirent sauver notre école à venir déposer leurs offrandes dans les paniers.
13:05Je vous en prie, avancez.
13:09Si vous voulez bien apporter vos offrandes.
13:17Bien, maintenant nous allons nous lever et nous allons chanter l'autre fois.
13:28C'est un flop.
13:30What works in St. Leonard's?
13:32Only you don't get truffles in St. Leonard's.
13:34Where were the men?
13:36They all went to the school.
13:37Why didn't they turn up?
13:40Listen, I'm sure they want to.
13:42But they can't.
13:44Why not?
13:44A bandage?
13:56C'est le chien de rivière.
13:58Bitten by one of Rivière's dogs.
14:00Poor old Emile.
14:01C'est une crapule.
14:03Une crapule.
14:04Why didn't the doctor have...
14:06Oui, c'est pas une docteur, ça.
14:07De la veterinaria.
14:09I see, of course.
14:10Vet.
14:11Aye, aye.
14:12But what does Rivière want all those dogs for?
14:15C'est pour les truffes.
14:17Truffles.
14:18Here we go again.
14:20Oh, il a un grand bois, Rivière.
14:22Le meilleur bois à truffes de tout le Luberon.
14:25The best truffle wood in the Luberon.
14:27Hé.
14:29Il a des sous le Rivière.
14:31Rivière rich?
14:32You must be jerky.
14:34Il a des lingots sous le lit, le Rivière.
14:36If he's got gold bars under the bed,
14:39why doesn't he give them to the school?
14:41Pourquoi pas donner son argent pour sauver l'école?
14:44Il aimait pas l'école, Rivière.
14:46Maybe he didn't like school then,
14:48but maybe now, as he mellows into middle age.
14:52Let's go.
14:52Oh, il a un grand bois.
15:22Piège à feu.
15:30Fire traps.
15:31Who were they for, Antoine?
15:34Antoine, did you see the notice?
15:37L'affiche?
15:39Qu'un affiche?
15:40Pour la messe.
15:41Masse avec truffles.
15:43Peut-être.
15:44Pour sauver l'école, votre école?
15:49Peut-être.
15:50Pourquoi... vous, not at the mess?
15:54Et les autres?
15:55No, no, the others weren't there either.
15:58Non.
15:58Alors, moi non plus.
16:01He didn't come because the others wouldn't,
16:03and they wouldn't because he didn't.
16:05This fundraising's really rather tricky, darling.
16:08Why no one?
16:14Pourquoi personne?
16:15Where were the old boys?
16:19C'était un piège à con.
16:20What's that?
16:21Some kind of trap.
16:24Piège à feu?
16:25Piège à con.
16:26Like Pooh and the honey trap, maybe?
16:29Don't mention Pooh.
16:30You'll think we're talking about Tony.
16:32Le Tony?
16:33No, no, not Tony.
16:35Only.
16:36Uh, we need only 22,000 francs.
16:43Je n'ai pas 22,000 francs, moi.
16:45Well, they did say that avec les truffes, you had...
16:51Someone's stealing his truffles.
16:56Dans les bois, la nuit.
16:59Listen, Antoine, a deal, un arrangement.
17:02Écoutez, we find the thieves, les voleurs de truffes.
17:08In exchange, you turn up la messe.
17:13Vous c'était un exemple.
17:15Compris?
17:17Je n'ai pas eu col.
17:20Why, Antoine?
17:21Pourquoi?
17:23J'étais toujours le dernier.
17:26But if you were always bottom, Antoine,
17:28this is your big chance.
17:31Now you can be top.
17:33Save the whole school.
17:35Le dernier.
17:36Sauver les grands.
17:40Peut-être.
17:46Allez.
17:48C'est déjeuner.
17:50Bon.
17:52Alors, quand on trouve les voleurs,
17:53on fait le signal, hein?
17:59Il y a bien la torche?
18:01Comme ça.
18:02de l'avis,
18:16c'est déjeuner.
19:47Come on, come on.
20:17Come on.
20:48If it's hidden, so we go and get it.
20:52On y va.
20:53Jamais.
20:53He won't show us.
20:55Okay.
20:57You.
20:58You go and get it.
20:59Simple.
21:01You, money, and return.
21:04He won't leave.
21:05He won't leave.
21:07He can't.
21:08We'll keep the car and his wife as hostage.
21:11You go and get it.
21:12You go and get it.
21:13You go and get it.
21:15What do you mean we're wasting our time?
21:33He's never going to come back.
21:37But his wife, Safem, doesn't he care about you?
21:47He'll miss the car.
21:53Men know how to take, not how to give.
22:06Antoine, I'm sorry.
22:10It didn't work.
22:11But we did try.
22:13Nous avons essayé.
22:15Et mes truffins?
22:17True, you didn't get your truffles back.
22:20Bon.
22:23Alors...
22:36All right.
22:37Wait and see.
22:51I'm sorry.
23:06Pizza, don't go eat.
25:06The collection.
26:49But this time, thanks to Mr. Riviere.
26:53It's 12 kilos.
26:5512.
26:56The school is saved thanks to Riviere.
26:58So Riviere had acquired an elderly Peugeot, a companion for life and, for the first time, the respect of the village.
27:11I told you, I told you, it's nice.
27:17I should have eaten the mushrooms.
27:27It's a marriage.
27:28It's a marriage.
27:38It's a great joy to give you this card of 22,000 francs.
27:52And now I have the pleasure of announcing a marriage.
27:55For marriage.
27:56Oh, and she does?
27:57Oh, and she'll be married.
27:58Oh, and she'll be married.
28:02The church marries the school.
28:21The church marries the school.
28:51The church marries the school.
29:21The church marries the school.
29:28And each of us, in the privacy of his truffle tent, felt not unhappy that we'd help to keep
29:40primary school education alive in our village.
29:44The church marries the school.
29:46The church marries the church marries the school.
Be the first to comment