TV, Borat's Guide to Britain
#Britain #Borat
#Britain #Borat
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00:00I
00:28I'll come back now to my village. I haven't been here one month. I've been traveling everywhere.
00:43Where is Velo?
00:45Velo!
00:47He has grown moustache in Alaska.
00:51Before I go, he had no moustache.
00:56And he's my mama.
00:59I haven't been here for so long.
01:02He is my mama.
01:05You have grown.
01:07In Kazakhstan, we love animals. This is Igor. He is my pet. He is a beautiful pig. I joke. I love him.
01:22It's so good. Are there any eyes left?
01:29This is my wife.
01:33This is my other wife.
01:36This is my mrs.
01:38This is my girlfriend.
01:40This is my sister.
01:45And this one, I have to pay money for.
01:49But she's worth it.
01:50Wow, wow, wow, wow!
01:57Here I am at the best hairdresser in Kazakhstan.
02:01Everybody famous come here.
02:03Eddie Arzanyan, Azamat Bagatov, Victor Hotelli from Almaty Summer and even Walter.
02:10Now, please enjoy the next guy.
02:12Now, please enjoy the next guy.
02:14I am here now with Lady Chelsea to learn how to be real gentlemen.
02:39Okay.
02:40Very nice to meet you.
02:45Do my best.
02:46Yes.
02:48How can you tell if someone is polite when you first meet them?
02:53You don't, really.
02:54I mean, perhaps it's the way they say hello and shake your hand.
02:57Yes.
02:58Is the way I dress nice? Is it okay?
03:01It's not a typically English way to dress.
03:05And my shoe is good?
03:06My shoes, yes.
03:07It is from a shoe express in Oxford store.
03:11That's fine.
03:12Black, yes.
03:13And what do we will eat at dinner soon?
03:17Lunch.
03:18Charlotte.
03:19This is Borat.
03:20How do you do?
03:21How do you do?
03:22We'll order it, Borat.
03:23How do you do?
03:24How do you do?
03:25How do you do?
03:26So, we have a toast, alright?
03:27Yes.
03:28To Jenny.
03:29To Jenny and to television.
03:31And to Kazakhstan.
03:32To US.
03:43It's nice.
03:44It's nice.
03:45You have wine? You have wine in Kazakhstan?
03:59The real idea, if somebody gives you a nice glass of white wine, you should sip it.
04:02Imagine you're making love, you don't want to do it too quickly.
04:05To make love? To have a...
04:07Don't do it too quickly, yes.
04:08I'm getting confused. It's slowly. Everything's slowly.
04:10Yeah, don't make love too quickly, otherwise it's over too quickly.
04:13Ah, yes, I like to last a long time.
04:17Perfect.
04:19That's good.
04:21That's perfect.
04:22I'm good.
04:23And what subject do we talk about?
04:28Anything, really. It depends who starts it.
04:32I mean, you could start off by...
04:35What would you say?
04:36Well, anything that comes into your head, really.
04:38Yes.
04:40Mmm.
04:41It is very nice.
04:44My wife, she is dead.
04:48Why?
04:49What happened?
04:50What happened?
04:51What happened?
04:52She died in a field.
04:56How?
04:57How?
04:58She died from work, but with an accident.
05:04But it's not important. I have a new wife.
05:07Is it okay to talk about what I did last night?
05:11Yes, as long as you don't go into lots of details whether it would be...
05:15Yes.
05:16I don't know.
05:17Oh, yes.
05:18If you said, yes, I went to see a film last night or...
05:20Yes.
05:21Last night I have a six.
05:24Right.
05:25So I told you you shouldn't mention your, um, what you did last night.
05:29No.
05:30Never mind.
05:31You said I can't say what I did last night.
05:32No, but you still direct.
05:33You can say you wanted to see a film last night.
05:34I had a lovely time last night.
05:35But it was nice.
05:36She was a loveling.
05:37And, um...
05:39How old would I say?
05:41Um...
05:42I do not want to be...
05:44What if I need to do a toilet?
05:46You just say, oh, just excuse me for a while.
05:49Excuse me for a while.
05:51Yeah.
05:52Please excuse me.
05:54Yes.
05:55I will go for a minute.
05:56Yes.
05:57Yes.
05:58Okay.
05:59Yes.
06:00Please excuse me.
06:01Yes.
06:02Certainly.
06:03There he comes.
06:05Okay.
06:06So...
06:07Would you like some more potatoes and peas?
06:08Because you haven't had any meat.
06:09Would you like some more?
06:10Oh, we have a pudding.
06:11Eh...
06:12Or do you want to have a lovely dessert?
06:13We have pudding.
06:14Sweet.
06:15Sweet.
06:16Sweet.
06:17Yes, a dessert.
06:19Yeah.
06:20I had a good shit.
06:21Ha!
06:22Ha!
06:23Ha!
06:24Ha!
06:25Ha!
06:26Ha!
06:27Ha!
06:28Ha!
06:29Ha!
06:30Ha!
06:31You didn't have any dough.
06:32You didn't say that.
06:33You know what the Chinese say?
06:34They say they've had a good meal.
06:35They do a huge amount of horrendous gherkin and burping.
06:36What is a...
06:37What is a...
06:38What is a...
06:39Gherkin?
06:40Burping.
06:41Bur...
06:42Ha!
06:43Ha!
06:44Ha!
06:45Ha!
06:46Ha!
06:47Ha!
06:48Ha!
06:49Ha!
06:50Ha!
06:51Ha!
06:52Ha!
06:53Ha!
06:54Ha!
06:55Ha!
06:56Ha!
06:57Ha!
06:58Ha!
06:59Ha!
07:00Ha!
07:01Ha!
07:02Ha!
07:03Ha!
07:04Ha!
07:05Ha!
07:06Ha!
07:07Ha!
07:08Ha!
07:09Ha!
07:10Ha!
07:11Ha!
07:12Ha!
07:13Ha!
07:14Ha!
07:15Ha!
07:16Ha!
07:17Ha!
07:18Ha!
07:19Ha!
07:20Ha!
07:21Ha!
07:22Ha!
07:23Ha!
07:24Ha!
07:25Ha!
07:26Ha!
07:27Ha!
07:28Ha!
07:29Ha!
07:30Thank you very much.
08:00I'm here with the most talented actors in the world, Laurence Olivier, Ella Guinness and Frank Spencer.
08:07Oh, Betsy, the cat, done a shit.
08:10This man can do nothing right and two things wrong.
08:14This is why I come to Edinburgh Festival to find the most talented performer, bring them back to Kazakhstan.
08:21I now go to meet the funniest comedians in Britain, Ober Sausage.
08:26Knock, knock, knock.
08:30Oh, what?
08:31Good morning, madam. Would madam be interested in buying a prime number?
08:34A prime number? What's one of those?
08:36It's a very special number. It's what we call a prime number, divisible only by itself and one.
08:41I see. Well, what's the point of that?
08:42Well, it means it can't be broken down into smaller pieces.
08:44And that means children can't swallow it.
08:46What is English humour?
08:56Forty Towers?
08:57Forty Towers.
08:58With the Monty Python, we have...
09:02We've been likened to Monty Python in our reviews.
09:05Yes, when I look at you, it reminds me of Monty Python.
09:09What is a stick?
09:13Like that. That's not a stick, that was a hand.
09:15That's a slapstick.
09:16I like a slapstick.
09:18So you can come up and do a hit.
09:20Yeah.
09:21Take a shot, take a shot.
09:23Go on, have a hit.
09:24Go on, have a hit.
09:25Go on, go on, go on, go on.
09:29Ha!
09:33Yeah, go for it.
09:37And overall, this tree just makes me blue.
09:45Now, time in the feathered person's department,
09:49will you leaves kindly turn down the volume?
09:55You are from USA?
09:58Yes, I was born in the Midwest, the middle of the country.
10:02And do you know many Americans?
10:07Do I know many people in the U.S.?
10:12Yes.
10:13Oh, yes.
10:13Yeah.
10:14Thousands.
10:16Do you know Lionel Richie?
10:19I know who he is.
10:20Because people say, I look.
10:23Is it me, you're a lucky fool?
10:27Yeah, you do look a bit like that.
10:28Yes.
10:29Do you know Dolly Parton?
10:31Yes.
10:32What is she like?
10:34She's a very intelligent person.
10:36Yes.
10:36Extremely intelligent person.
10:39She's done a lot of good things.
10:41A lot of really good shows.
10:45She had a TV show which lasted two years, which was very good.
10:49Yes.
10:50She has a big...
10:51Well, yes.
10:52This is true.
10:53Wow, wow, wewa!
10:54This is true.
10:55Goodbye, Samantha folks.
10:57Yes, yes.
10:58Hello, Dolly.
10:59She has lots more than that.
11:01She has a wonderful American folk art park.
11:05But they...
11:07So big.
11:08Well, that's...
11:09That's her initial claim to fame.
11:11This is incredible.
11:19My friends, I go now to see Striptease Mon Amour.
11:24I hope it is as good as Strips, Strips, Bang Bang in Kzitzla Street.
11:29Yeah.
11:41Thanks.
11:49Daddy.
11:50печ Randy.
11:52roof of the PRANCO Initiative is aев juncture.
11:55Yay.
11:55Yay.
11:57Yay.
11:57So we make clear this is not striptease like America, like dirty, there is no hands relief.
12:05No, no.
12:07I hope you will come to Almaty festival in Kazakhstan.
12:12And is that international as well?
12:14We have a pop group from England, Right Said Fred.
12:19Everyone sing, I am too sexy, I am too sexy. Big fat man, I am too sexy, I am too sexy. Big.
12:30You listen to the music, you close your eyes, you feel the movement in your body and just you follow like you want with your body the flow of this music.
12:42Is it okay?
13:12Sleigh on the floor. And why?
13:29Sleigh.
13:37I'm sorry, I've done it.
13:55Okay.
13:56Let's just basically put the body up and down and then just bang it on the floor and then
14:13just let whatever noises come out, come out.
14:18Hey ho!
14:27Hey ho!
14:32Hey ho!
14:36Sexy, sexy, sexy, sexy, sexy, sexy, sexy, I'm too sexy.
14:47Hey ho!
14:48Hey ho!
14:49Hey ho!
14:50Sexy, sexy.
14:50Hey ho!
14:52Hey ho!
14:53Hey ho!
14:55Hey ho!
14:56Hey ho!
14:57Hey ho!
14:58Hey ho!
14:59Hey ho!
15:00Hey ho!
15:01Hey ho!
15:02It is good to see you now, Shagти, erotic belly dancer.
15:07Please tell us about the Swan Lake.
15:22My Swan Lake.
15:23Yes, please.
15:24It's quite different from the ballet.
15:26Because my Swan Lake, I think, within the muddy lakes, deep within our souls, is the
15:31white swan.
15:32And that white swan is a symbol of desire.
15:35Desire is the most pure thing in the world.
15:37You know, the swan is a creature of the wild.
15:40It doesn't float and flutter around with white feathers.
15:44It's a wild creature because, you know, you've seen a white swan.
15:47It's never really white.
15:48It's still usually dirty gray.
15:49And if you see webbed feet, the way it scratches through the water, and when you see it mate,
15:54it can be very savage at times.
15:56Yes.
15:57So we are creatures of the wild, too.
16:00Civilization society tries to tame us.
16:02But no, there's something within us that doesn't want to be tamed.
16:06What is a swan?
16:07What is a swan?
16:08A swan is a symbol.
16:10It's a symbol of desire.
16:12It's a symbol of purity.
16:14It's a symbol of the wild.
16:17But it is an animal?
16:18Yes.
16:19And how do you want the audience to feel?
16:23I want the audience to feel exhilarated.
16:25Yes.
16:25I want it to feel energetic.
16:26I want it to feel, you know, lively.
16:29Yes.
16:30And you want them to feel sexy?
16:33Oh, yes.
16:34Definitely.
16:35I want them to be charged up.
16:36That's what I'm here for.
16:38I have felt hard.
16:40Oh.
16:41It's bad.
16:42It's bad.
16:43No, not at all.
16:44It's not bad.
16:45It's not bad.
16:46Not at all.
16:47Not at all.
16:48There was no liquid.
16:49But it is a problem.
16:50Because in Kazakhstan, this is bad.
16:52Oh.
16:53But I never see something like this.
16:55No, it's natural.
16:56We say in Kazakhstan that acting and dance is like a life, and the theater is like a house.
17:08House.
17:09House, yes.
17:10And a man in the theater is like a man in a house.
17:16And a woman in the theater is like a woman in a house.
17:23And a woman in the theater is like a woman in a house.
17:30And a woman in the theater is like a woman in a house.
17:38And a woman in a house.
17:43In Kazakhstan, manners is important.
17:47This my neighbor, Dr. Yemek, he's very angry with me.
17:52He say I show him disrespect by calling his horse fat.
17:56But it is.
17:58Everyone say so.
18:00Now we will settle this in civilized way.
18:03And I will settle this in civilized way.
18:16Yes.
18:17Yes.
18:17Yes.
18:18Yes.
18:19Yes.
18:20Yes.
18:21Yes.
18:22Yes.
18:23Yes.
18:24Yes.
18:25Yes.
18:26Yes.
18:27Yes.
18:28Yes.
18:29Gata! Gata! Und jeb zu Cire!
18:34Gata! Gata! Gata! Gata! Gata!
18:55Gata! Gata!
18:58Every Englishman must have a hobby. Some like to collect the stamp, some like to make the gym.
19:04But the most fun is to kill a little animal with a shotgun or rip him up with a wild dog.
19:10This is why I come to the countryside to find out about English hobbies.
19:19Hello. You are here on a hunt?
19:22Yes. Yes, I am indeed.
19:24And you are... Why do you not have a horse?
19:29I can't afford one, quite honestly.
19:31Why not?
19:33I'm a retard now and...
19:35You are a retard?
19:36Yes, I am.
19:37Yes, like a mongol. So you hunt a lot.
19:41I hunt a lot, yes.
19:43You are a real man?
19:44Oh yes, I am, yes.
19:46We say a man who do not hunt in Kazakhstan is like a man with no...
19:51How do you say?
19:52You say no bollocks I say.
19:54Yes, bollocks.
19:55I shouldn't say that.
19:56You have a big bollocks.
19:58Yes, probably.
19:59You have big bollocks.
20:00No, I don't think so. Not now.
20:02Can I touch them?
20:03No.
20:05Why not? It's private.
20:06You are English policeman.
20:09I am, yes.
20:10Hello.
20:11Hello.
20:13Do you believe in the hunt or...?
20:16I have to remain impartial with my answer.
20:18Yes.
20:19Because you are English policeman.
20:21That's right.
20:22The greatest police in the force.
20:23And they say everything is cricket in England, don't they?
20:25Everything is cricket.
20:27Cricket. We have to be fair.
20:28This is cricket.
20:29No, no, no.
20:30It's just the same.
20:31Just the same.
20:32The play...
20:33Cricket.
20:34Well...
20:35Yes, cricket.
20:36Cricket is a gentleman's sport.
20:38Yes.
20:39And everyone has the right to be gentleman in England as such.
20:42And they play cricket today?
20:44No, no, no.
20:45I'm confusing you now.
20:46Yes.
20:47I'm confusing you.
20:48Forget the cricket side of things.
20:49I'm sorry.
20:50That's just a saying.
20:51And people that do protest against the cricket?
20:54Forget the cricket.
20:55Yes.
20:56It's purely a saying.
20:57Yes.
20:58Yes.
20:59You just said cricket.
21:00Yeah, I just said cricket.
21:01Forget that.
21:02It doesn't matter.
21:03Okay.
21:04Nothing to do with hunting.
21:05Okay.
21:06So why did you say this?
21:13Why do you like to hunt the fox?
21:15I do not hunt the fox.
21:17I think people that hunt the fox are the scum of the earth.
21:21I do not kill the fox.
21:22I do not kill the fox.
21:23You killed things!
21:24Yes, I have them.
21:25You killed things!
21:27I killed them!
21:28You killed them!
21:29That's evil!
21:30No, in Kazakhstan we shoot animals.
21:32We do not hunt the fox.
21:34But you should be talking to us because we love animals.
21:36And that's why we're here.
21:37We love animals too.
21:39But why did you shoot them?
21:40For fun!
21:42You eat the fox I'm pissed off.
21:45You've got no bloody brains.
21:47Piss off.
21:49I do not kill fox.
21:50Don't you kill bears?
21:52There is no more bear in Kazakhstan.
21:54Don't you kill them all?
21:55In Kazakhstan we love animals.
21:57Good for you.
21:58We have most popular program on television is animal program.
22:02Good.
22:03It's called a dancing dog and cat.
22:06They dress the dog like a family royal, like Prince Elizabeth.
22:11One with a crown and they dance.
22:14But do they treat that animal well?
22:16Yes, they treat very well.
22:17They give food and the floor is a bit hot so they jump.
22:28It is great.
22:29We love in Kazakhstan to kill animals.
22:32To hunt.
22:33It's so much fun.
22:34It is much fun.
22:35It is much fun.
22:36It is a great feeling when you kill an animal.
22:38It is.
22:39It is.
22:40It makes you feel like a real man.
22:44It does.
22:45It makes you feel big.
22:46We like to shoot a dog in Kazakhstan.
22:51You shoot dogs?
22:52Yes.
22:53Do you?
22:54Well, in England we rather like dogs.
22:55But why do you like them?
22:56Here in Kazakhstan they say this thing is crazy.
22:59Thank you very much.
23:00Okay.
23:01Bye-bye.
23:02Bye-bye.
23:03Have a good journey.
23:05Bye-bye.
23:17I have come here to the greatest university in the world, Cambridge, where most famous
23:41men in the world study, Isaac Newton, William Shakespeare, Kenny Dalglish, Thompson Twins, to find
23:49why this is the greatest university in the world.
23:52How are you?
23:53Hello.
23:54Welcome.
23:55Your name is?
23:58Ian.
23:59I have seen women here in Cambridge today.
24:03Yes.
24:04Why are they here?
24:05Well, because they are also clever.
24:08Yes.
24:09I always say in Kazakhstan that a woman who goes with book is like a horse with what
24:20you put on the horse.
24:22Subtle.
24:23Yes.
24:28Yes.
24:30I mean, the point is that half the world are women.
24:33Yes.
24:34And therefore, half the intelligence, half the ability is with the women.
24:38The only difference is that they are not creative.
24:40Yes.
24:41Women haven't got creative minds.
24:43It's true.
24:44They can't think.
24:45They cannot think properly.
24:46No, they can't think.
24:48Because it's done.
24:50You find me woman with brain.
24:53I find you a horse with, how you say?
24:57With wings.
24:58Yes.
24:59And what is the Cambridge ball?
25:08Everyone say the Cambridge ball.
25:10What is?
25:11Cambridge balls are just big things where you dress up in white or black tie.
25:14It is like a party?
25:15Yes.
25:16Like a party.
25:17And they bring in a woman especially for this?
25:20No, there's no special women brought in.
25:22You bring your own woman, I'm afraid.
25:24Yeah.
25:25And so they do not bring in prostitutes?
25:28No, no prostitutes, I don't know.
25:31So how do you have a party with them?
25:34Well, in England we don't really use prostitutes to have parties.
25:37It's one of these odd things.
25:39Why not?
25:40I don't know.
25:41Just not traditional.
25:42Would there be wrestling with no clothes and a horse, polo?
25:48Well, there certainly won't be wrestling with no clothes.
25:50There might be polo somewhere.
25:52Yes.
25:53But I think that some of the kinds of parties that maybe you're thinking of,
25:56you're not going to find here at all.
25:58And will there be a woman where you go and you dress like sex with them?
26:04I'm sorry, you're going to have to cut that off.
26:06That's an inappropriate question.
26:08It's a serious university and there's not going to be any sort of prostitution
26:15that you've just mentioned.
26:16That would be inappropriate.
26:17Okay.
26:18Okay, so about the, the, forget the party.
26:22I'm sorry, that's, that's over.
26:25When Cambridge students do not study, they like to play English game of cricket.
26:31I learned to play, please.
26:34You're left-handed.
26:35So you hold it with your top hand round there, your bottom hand there.
26:39And when you, when the ball comes now, hit, have your feet further apart.
26:43That's right.
26:45Hold it back there.
26:46Okay.
26:47Then here the ball comes.
26:48Watch me.
26:49Watch me.
26:50Yes.
26:51You pick up the ball back there, put your front, front forward foot.
26:54And then the front foot.
26:55The right foot.
26:56Forward.
26:57All right.
26:58That's right.
26:59Can I just show you?
27:00Why do you touch me so much?
27:01No, no, no.
27:02Just here.
27:03Pick up the back there.
27:04No, no, no.
27:05Don't worry.
27:06I want the ball to be there.
27:07No, leave the ball alone.
27:08Up to the back.
27:09Yes.
27:10And out to the ball.
27:11Could you try and do that?
27:12Okay, I'm a boomer.
27:13I'm a boomer.
27:14I'm a boomer.
27:15I'm a boomer.
27:16I want the ball to be there.
27:17No, leave the ball alone.
27:18Up to the back.
27:19Yes.
27:20And out to the ball.
27:21Could you try and do that?
27:22Okay, I'm a boomer.
27:24No, hands the other way around.
27:27That's right.
27:29What did I do?
27:30No, I didn't.
27:32There.
27:33No, no.
27:35No, no, no, no, no, you can't.
27:37Just do this.
27:39All right?
27:40Just watch.
27:41Watch.
27:42There.
27:43That's all I want you to do.
27:44Okay, okay.
27:45That's all you have to do.
27:47No, no.
27:49Put your foot there.
27:50And the back comes down like that.
27:53That.
27:54But this foot should be over here.
27:59Your foot.
28:00That's where the ball should be.
28:01And then you put there.
28:03But burn your foot.
28:06The ball won't be standing still.
28:08It will bounce here and it will come up from there.
28:10And that's a good shot.
28:12And what do I do here?
28:14And you won't forget me.
28:16No, Borat.
28:17I'm a celebrity.
28:18Borat like Barry.
28:19What's your name anyway?
28:20Borat like Barry.
28:21Borat like Barry.
28:22But people call me Steve.
28:23Steve.
28:24Okay, Steve.
28:25Yeah, they call me Steve.
28:26Can I call you Brian?
28:28Yeah.
28:32Why?
28:33I don't know.
28:34Why?
28:35No reason really?
28:36In Kazakhstan there was English man.
28:38He called me Steve.
28:39Yeah.
28:40Today I look for Steve.
28:41There is one Steve.
28:42There is one Steve here.
28:43One Steve.
28:44And no Steve.
28:48So today we met the most intelligent people in Britain.
28:53In one day in Cambridge I had more fun than six years at Almaty University.
28:58And best thing of all, government pay for this.
29:01We have a lot of lessons to learn.
29:15Thank you very much.
29:16Hello.
29:17I like you.
29:18Everybody say mad dog and English gentleman go dance in the midnight sun.
29:24But why?
29:25I come to England to find what make English gentleman, English gentleman.
29:34Hello.
29:36How are you?
29:37Nice to meet you.
29:38Very nice to see you.
29:39If men come in here with men and bodyguard, rich, with beautiful lady, with chef pussy,
29:50with dogs, you will serve him.
29:54Oh, yes.
29:55Oh, yes.
29:56Here we...
30:01I would do that.
30:0244.
30:03And then I'd say to you...
30:04What are you doing?
30:05Measuring your leg.
30:08And then I measure...
30:09What do you do?
30:11You measure your leg.
30:14You try to touch your...
30:17I don't try to do anything.
30:18All I do is measure your leg.
30:21You are not there.
30:22Huh?
30:23Homosexual.
30:24Sorry?
30:25You're not there.
30:26I don't think so.
30:27But you better ask my wife.
30:29I'm sorry.
30:30I'm sorry.
30:31I'm sorry.
30:32I think suddenly you touch her.
30:34No problem.
30:35No problem.
30:36Please.
30:37You can touch.
30:39To be English gentleman, I need English lady.
30:42This way I met Mrs. Heskiel, who teach me how to flirt.
30:46So that I can do a sex with English girl.
30:49Hmm.
30:52Who come to learn the flirt?
30:54Well, people like you.
30:56What?
30:57That's right.
30:58Yes.
30:59You see, I just had to do that and you went flirty.
31:02Yes, I like.
31:03When you meet someone, you have to look around at them and ask them and think about something you can compliment them on.
31:08So, if you look at me now, think about something you like about me and just say, give me.
31:14You have nice tits.
31:16Tits.
31:17Tits.
31:18That's why you laugh.
31:19Tits.
31:20Tits.
31:21Yeah.
31:22Tits.
31:23Nice tits.
31:24Is that the kind of compliment you would give to somebody?
31:26Flirting is a prelude to meeting somebody.
31:28Yes.
31:29What does it mean a prelude?
31:30A beginning.
31:31It's a beginning.
31:32Yes.
31:33It's a way of connecting with somebody so that you can meet them and decide whether they're somebody you want to spend more time with.
31:37So, after how many minutes can I say, hello, do you want to do with the sex, please?
31:42Hello, Borat.
31:43Nice to meet you, my friend.
31:44My friend.
31:45Very nice to meet you.
31:46You have a gentleman club.
31:49Yes.
31:50Now, the idea of my gentleman's club has a different connotation.
31:55In Kazakhstan, we have a club where you go, you have other men, they come with friends, they'll watch, they talk, they do business, they'll watch porno.
32:09With a man and a woman.
32:14We'll see one with a shaved pussy.
32:18Very exciting to see.
32:21It's something.
32:22Why you laugh?
32:23Why you laugh?
32:24Why you laugh?
32:25Why you laugh?
32:26Why you laugh?
32:27You laugh at me.
32:28I'm a twit.
32:30And this?
32:31Jacuzzi?
32:32It, uh, from here.
32:35That's fine.
32:36It is fantastic.
32:38And, uh, what is, uh, you have with a girl?
32:42Of course.
32:43What is the most number of people you have in this one?
32:47Hmm.
32:48Four is comfortable, six is a crown.
32:51Now I'm going to see English club.
32:55Hello.
32:56How do you do?
32:57Very nice.
32:58Mike Abbott, I'm Dean.
33:00Well, I've got club secretary on first.
33:03Hello.
33:04Hello.
33:05This is the library.
33:06It's a very beautiful room.
33:09Do you have a throw-out member?
33:13No.
33:14It has been known to happen, yes.
33:16If a man, uh, get very, drink, and do, uh, uh, dirt.
33:25Oh, no, I don't think we'd like it at all.
33:27It's so loud.
33:28Yes.
33:29And what if a man wants to make love to a man's bottom?
33:34Uh, we certainly don't approve of that at all.
33:38We think he's wrong.
33:40Maybe he's pretty weird.
33:41We do as well.
33:42It's, um, homosexuality is not encouraged in the club.
33:45So a gentleman is not a homosexual?
33:47Definitely not.
33:48Hello.
33:49Hello.
33:50It's nice to meet you.
33:51Hello.
33:52And you have been to Stringfellow Club?
33:54No.
33:55It is fun because you have a woman with, uh, big, how you say, uh,
34:00mammary glands.
34:01Mama.
34:02Mammary glands is the word you're looking for.
34:04Or, or breasts.
34:05Breasts.
34:06Breasts.
34:07Breasts.
34:08Like, tits, tits.
34:09Tits.
34:10Not a gentleman's word.
34:11They have, uh, girls that stand like this.
34:13Right.
34:14I'm sure you have them in Kazakhstan as well.
34:16They have, but, uh, they, they're like this, you know.
34:20Well, you mustn't wrestle them so much, clearly.
34:22They've made them drop.
34:23But the Tajik girl is very big.
34:25Oh, so you like that?
34:26The Tajik, but Uzbek, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny.
34:30Horses for courses.
34:32No, we do not do it with our horses.
34:34We do not like horses.
34:36No, I don't think, no, no, no, no.
34:38It's an expression.
34:39It simply means that some people like one sort of thing,
34:41one people like another.
34:42I don't like this.
34:43English idiom.
34:44People who like an animal to make love is a sick.
34:48Yes, I think.
34:49That's what you meant.
35:00In Kazakhstan, we fight for 60 years to get rid of communism.
35:21Here in England, after 18 years of rule by Maggie Thatcher and other English gentleman,
35:27they put in a communist.
35:30I come here to Bournemouth, to sunny seaside, to see why politics 50 years behind Kazakhstan.
35:39What I am is a Vice-Chairman of the World Disarmament campaign, and if you want to talk about that,
35:46I'll be very happy to do so.
35:48Yes.
35:50It is to do with a weapon?
35:52Yes.
35:53Yes.
35:54You would like to buy weapons from...
35:59No.
36:00Yes.
36:01I do not wish to buy weapons.
36:02I want to get rid of weapons.
36:03Yes.
36:04You would like to sell weapons to Kazakhstan?
36:06No.
36:07No.
36:08Certainly not.
36:09I do not wish to sell weapons to anybody.
36:11Yes.
36:12So England will not buy any nuclear weapons from Kazakhstan?
36:16I don't think England will buy nuclear weapons from... Kazakhstan doesn't have nuclear weapons,
36:21does it?
36:23Please stop interviewing.
36:26To find out more about capitalism, I went to meet a man from the Institute of Directors.
36:32Hello.
36:33I am with my friend Richard Baron from Institute of Directors.
36:39He is deputy head of policy unit, and he will explain, please, British economy.
36:45Hello.
36:46Hello.
36:47It's very nice for you to let me be here.
36:50It's a great pleasure.
36:52I read in a newspaper, I read about fat cat.
36:56Ah.
36:57What is a fat cat?
36:58We like it very much.
37:00A fat cat is the name that newspapers use for a director of a company, usually a director
37:07of a very big company who gets paid millions.
37:10Yes.
37:11Yes.
37:12What is the problem?
37:13Well, the problem is that it makes other people very jealous.
37:16Yes.
37:17Yes.
37:18But they should...
37:19A boss should get paid more because he is superior to a worker.
37:22Yes.
37:23In Kazakhstan, we say a rat is not the same like a big horse.
37:34No.
37:35You do not...
37:36They are too different.
37:38Yes.
37:39And so a worker and a boss is two different races.
37:41Yeah.
37:42Yeah.
37:43Mm-hmm.
37:44The fact that the bosses get more can actually be good to motivate everybody.
37:49Yeah.
37:50What is...
37:51All of rats want to grow into horses.
37:52Yeah?
37:53Yeah, I know.
37:54So they work hard.
37:55A rat can never be a horse.
37:56No.
37:57No.
37:58If he works very hard.
37:59You know.
38:00Why do they call it with a cat?
38:03I...
38:04I...
38:05Because it rhymes in English.
38:07Fat.
38:08Yes.
38:09Because it's got so much here.
38:10Fat cat.
38:11You see, if you said fat horse or fat dog, it wouldn't sound so good in English.
38:15What if you call them fat hat?
38:19No, nobody has ever tried that yet.
38:22Because cats don't eat.
38:23Cats do eat.
38:24Yeah.
38:25Strange.
38:26Yeah.
38:27Very strange.
38:28Languages are often strange.
38:29Why do they not say fat boss?
38:31Because...
38:32Because it doesn't rhyme.
38:33Yeah?
38:34Fat cat.
38:35Fat boss.
38:36Fat boss.
38:37It's a different sound.
38:38Yes?
38:39Like poetry.
38:40A little bit of poetry.
38:41Fat head.
38:42Fat head.
38:43Fat head.
38:47My friend.
38:48My friend too.
38:49You're nice.
38:52Now I come to conference of business industry.
38:53I pray I meet the fat cat.
38:54Zabroy.
38:55What is your name please?
38:56My name is Colin Marshall.
38:57Yes.
38:58And you are from which company?
38:59I'm the chairman of British Airways.
39:00From British Airways.
39:01Yes.
39:02Ah, it's fantastic.
39:03Right here.
39:04It is fantastic.
39:05From British Airways.
39:06That's right.
39:07Yes.
39:08In Kazakhstan we...
39:09We like very much British Airways.
39:10Good.
39:11We hope you will make a... come to Kazakhstan.
39:12Is it a deal?
39:13I hope so.
39:14Is it a deal?
39:15Is it a deal?
39:16Is it a deal?
39:17Is it a deal?
39:18Is it a deal?
39:19Is it a deal?
39:20I hope so.
39:21It's a deal.
39:22I hope so.
39:23Yes.
39:37Good luck.
39:38Do you employ everybody in your company?
39:42We employ everybody, yes.
39:43Do you employ women?
39:44Yes, absolutely.
39:45You employ?
39:46But why?
39:47But why?
39:48Why?
39:49Well, just because we have jobs to do.
39:57Hello, what's all day?
39:58Ah, good morning.
39:59It is very nice to meet you.
40:02Very nice to meet yourself.
40:04You are a real lord.
40:06That's right.
40:11It is a very honor for me to meet you.
40:16And what different type of lord is there?
40:20Well, there are two kinds.
40:21There are two kinds.
40:22There are hereditary and there is a life pair.
40:24Somebody yesterday called me, say, I am a gay lord.
40:28Is it true?
40:29A gay lord?
40:30I don't know.
40:31That has nothing to do with homosexuality, I suppose.
40:32No.
40:33I don't know.
40:34We are in my hotel.
40:35Yes.
40:36There is a man I have a drink with him.
40:38Yes.
40:39And he says, thank you.
40:40You are a real gay lord.
40:41And I say, thank you very much.
40:42I see.
40:43That's right, yes.
40:44We like very much the queen.
40:45Do you know her?
40:46I have been presented to her once.
40:47The queen, she is a beautiful woman.
40:48Oh, indeed, yes.
40:49She is very, very beautiful.
40:50Yes.
40:51Very sexy, no?
40:52Well, I wouldn't like to use that popular adjective about her.
40:53Yes.
40:54I would say, like beautiful, very...
40:55Oh, she is, yes.
40:56Very...
40:57Yes.
40:58You like to be with her.
40:59That's right.
41:00I have a picture of her in my room.
41:03Oh, that's very good.
41:04Excellent.
41:06Okay.
41:07I would say, you like to be with her.
41:13That's right.
41:14I have a picture of her in my room.
41:18Oh, that's very good. Excellent.
41:21In my country, we love England, Great Britain, Queen Victoria, Winston Churchill, Kenny Dalglish, Spice Girl.
41:31But we do not like Europe. Why do you want to join with Europe?
41:35I would have thought it was the wrong power base to belong to.
41:38Yes.
41:39Some of these countries have a very strange culture.
41:43Yes. Some countries do, I suppose. I don't know.
41:47In France, they eat cheese.
41:53Eat cheese from milk.
41:56Yes.
41:57All the time they eat cheese.
41:58Oh, yes. Nice ripe cheeses. Yes, they're going for a lot of that come and that and so on. Indeed.
42:02What is a single mother?
42:04A single mother is somebody who's had a child and the husband isn't there. Yes.
42:11Why do they allow this to happen?
42:13Well, I see. How do you suggest they should stop it?
42:19In Kazakhstan, under communism, they, because there were suddenly many, many mother with a bastard.
42:28Yes, I see.
42:29They instruct, in communism, they instruct men to make love only to the bottom. You think they should do this here?
42:40Love to what?
42:41If she is a virgin.
42:42Yes.
42:43You make a love to the bottom. To the bottom.
42:46Yes, I see. Yes.
42:47You think they should do this here?
42:50I don't know. It sounds a bit unnatural, doesn't it?
42:53Do you like me?
42:54Yes.
42:55If you can see it from the outside, you probably know better than I.
42:58I like you. I like you too.
43:00It is a very nice to meet you.
43:02Thank you very much.
43:03Thank you very much.
43:33Thank you very much.
43:37You hurt.
43:38This is my friend Mari. I come here for massage, and how do you say? A hand relief.
43:44And for the first day, he cleaned my hole.
43:49Now please enjoy my guide to sport.
44:03Welcome to the Tambly Club.
44:14Thank you, very nice.
44:16We will try and show you.
44:18Welcome.
44:19Great pleasure.
44:20That's what we call the jack.
44:22And we bowl to the jack.
44:24Whose jack?
44:26This is the jack.
44:27But yes.
44:28We are going to throw this down to the bottom.
44:31If you'd like to try, would you like to try?
44:33Yes, and when will jack come?
44:35No, no, this is called a jack.
44:37Yes.
44:38That is a jack.
44:39This little ball, understand?
44:42The ball is called a jack.
44:45And what is this ball called?
44:46That's a wood.
44:48Mr. Wood.
44:49No, a wood.
44:50There is a man called jack.
44:53He dresses like a ball.
44:55Oh, no, no, no.
44:57We are going to bowl to this week down the bottom.
45:00I understand.
45:01Right.
45:01And when will jack come?
45:04This is the jack, which we are going to bowl to.
45:07Like a jack and nickel son.
45:10Take the bank.
45:13No, no, no, no.
45:13Yes.
45:14No, no, no.
45:15Right.
45:16Yes.
45:17Bowling shoe.
45:18Yes, a shoe.
45:18Bowling shoe.
45:19Shoe.
45:19Yes.
45:20From the show experience.
45:21Trousers.
45:21Trousers.
45:22Jack.
45:24Hello.
45:24All right, you want to stand now.
45:27Right.
45:28You hold it like that.
45:29Yes.
45:32Okay.
45:32Yes.
45:33Now stand on the mat.
45:35That's the mat.
45:35This is like a cat on the mat.
45:38Yes.
45:39A cat on the mat.
45:40Like a cat on the mat.
45:41Yes.
45:41Yes.
45:42Now you try.
45:48Oh, no, not too fast.
45:54You must do it gently.
45:55Yes.
45:56Try again.
45:58Like this?
45:58Yes.
45:59Like that.
46:04Right.
46:05Do many people get hurt playing balls?
46:08Nobody gets hurt.
46:10No, nobody gets hurt.
46:11Do many people die from this?
46:14Only the older people with a heart attack.
46:16But if you get a ball like this and you take it on someone's head and smash many times, it
46:24can hurt very bad.
46:26That's not balls.
46:27And if you put your hand there, it helps.
46:35It's balanced.
46:39Yes.
46:39So just try that.
46:43Okay?
46:44Yes.
46:44Don't worry about that too much.
46:46Relax.
46:47Nice and...
46:48Just relax.
46:52It's difficult to relax like this.
46:54I know, but you must relax.
46:55Yes.
46:57Hey, Lex.
47:00No, you...
47:01Your boss is going that way.
47:03Yes.
47:04Do you want to see our changing room?
47:06Yes, please.
47:06Will there be many men with no clothes there?
47:10No, no, no.
47:11They're hung outside.
47:12No.
47:12What is this from a...
47:14Burkitex?
47:16Yes.
47:17What is in here?
47:18You shouldn't touch that.
47:23Why?
47:24That's their private stuff.
47:27I like to find out about them.
47:29Oh, right.
47:30Okay.
47:30And what is this here?
47:32That's a urinal.
47:33Is it a shower?
47:34No.
47:35That's where they do their toilet.
47:37You lie down here?
47:38No, you stand up.
47:39Stand up.
47:40Stand up.
47:41You...
47:42And then...
47:43Like this?
47:44No.
47:45You just do a wee in there.
47:46What does this mean?
47:47And this one...
47:48Yes.
47:49Yes, I know.
47:51Yes?
47:52And this, if you think you'll come and do it?
47:55Oh, no.
47:56You stand up.
47:57You do a dirty...
47:58No, you do it this way.
47:59Can you do a dirty...
48:00No.
48:01In there.
48:02Or this one.
48:03Yes.
48:04Which one you prefer?
48:06Depends what I want to do.
48:07Yes.
48:08If I just want to do a wee, you do it in that one.
48:11Otherwise, you do it in this one.
48:13But if you want to do a dirt and you are in a hurry...
48:16In there.
48:17In there.
48:18And there is someone in there, you do it here?
48:19No, no, no, no.
48:20That's not allowed.
48:21There is space for...
48:22Yes.
48:23No, that's water only.
48:24But you can have five men do a...
48:26Yes.
48:27Squeeze something...
48:28You understand?
48:29Oh, I know.
48:30You squeeze on the...
48:31No.
48:32No, you do it there.
48:33When you've been to the toilet...
48:34Yes.
48:35You wash your hands.
48:36And do you ever do a toilet in here?
48:38No.
48:39You'd be thrown out of the club if you did.
48:41Why?
48:42Because it's not hygienic.
48:43But why not?
48:44Because you've got all that.
48:46Oh, hello, Bill.
48:47Hello.
48:48Nice to see you.
48:49Yeah.
48:50And your name is...
48:51Todd Slaughter.
48:52Todd Slaughter.
48:53Todd Slaughter.
48:54Slaughter.
48:55What does it mean?
48:56To kill.
48:57To kill.
48:58That's right.
48:59It's unusual name.
49:00Yes.
49:01But I will say...
49:02Laughter with S in front.
49:03Yes.
49:04Yes.
49:05Yes.
49:06Yes.
49:07Yes.
49:08Yes?
49:09Yes?
49:10Yes?
49:11Yes?
49:12Yes?
49:13Yes?
49:14Yes?
49:15Yes?
49:16So that's where you can write it.
49:17My name is Borat.
49:18Borat?
49:19No, I do not know that name.
49:20That's...
49:21Like a Barry.
49:22Like an English Barry.
49:23Like an English Barry, right.
49:24But some people call me Steve.
49:26Yes?
49:27Why do they call you Steve?
49:29Why not?
49:30Why not?
49:31Why not?
49:32Yes, I know.
49:33I met a man in King Cross last night.
49:36Yes?
49:37He wore leather trousers.
49:38He called me Steve.
49:39Right.
49:40Right.
49:41Now, my first name, Todd.
49:44Yes?
49:45It's a nickname.
49:46It's called Nick.
49:47No, no, no.
49:48It is a nickname.
49:49Yes.
49:50A non-de-guerre.
49:51Yes.
49:52Do you understand all those words?
49:53Yes.
49:54Yes?
49:55Yes.
49:56A soubriquet.
49:57Yes.
49:58That's what it is.
49:59But no one calls me Nick, no.
50:00So where do we go now, Nick?
50:02We go now.
50:04We go now to the outdoor club.
50:06Yes.
50:07Of what it's bowling club.
50:08Do you sometimes make friends from this?
50:11Oh, very much so.
50:12It is one way actually to make a lot of friends.
50:15Yes.
50:16And in particular if some of the people who may be on their own.
50:21Yes.
50:22Who are looking for someone.
50:25Yes.
50:26A partner maybe.
50:27You can maybe play the game and then do sex.
50:32Well, I don't know about sex, no.
50:34Yes.
50:35But it certainly doesn't go with that.
50:36Yes.
50:37It doesn't really matter what your ability is.
50:39Yes.
50:40You can actually join in.
50:43And gypsies, can they play or is best to keep them away from the...
50:48Well, I would seek to keep gypsies away.
50:50Yes.
50:51Of course.
50:52Keep the gypsies.
50:53You don't really want trouble makers.
50:56This my friend Nick.
50:58He shows how to play ball.
51:01Thank you, Nick.
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