Moving Too Slow Is Killing Your Dating Life (Surprising)

Name: Moving Too Slow Is Killing Your Dating Life (Surprising)
Uploaded: 2025-10-06T08:02:50+00:00
Duration: 6 min 36 s
Channel: Conquer & Win

Conquer & Win

2 days ago

In this video, we discuss how taking things too slow can hurt your chances in the dating world. We'll share some tips on how to strike a balance and keep things moving in a healthy way.

WHAT YOU WILL SEE:

01:03 The reality about dating
01:13 Why you should ask every date home
01:23 Moving faster creates momentum
01:38 Moving slow makes the wrong impression
01:48 Moving faster will establish your personality
02:00 Why moving faster will help you have more success in dating

WATCH NOW: How to Meet Girls for Relationships, Dating, & Sex (Exact Steps!)
https://youtu.be/DcbLq0e9HLc

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THIS KIND OF CONTENT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS ARTICLE: https://www.conquerandwin.com/why-women-go-cold-on-text-messages-and-how-to-write-messages-that-work/

WHO AM I:
Hi, I’m Eddy Baller, author & founder of Conquer & Win.
I’ve been a dating and relationship coach since 2011, and since then I have helped men across the globe to build their social confidence and get the dates and relationships they deserve.

FOR COACHING, GO TO:
https://www.conquerandwin.com/vancouver-dating-coach/

GET IN TOUCH:
If you’d like to talk, I’d love to hear from you. Emailing me at eddy@conquerandwin.com directly will be the quickest way to get a response. I try my best to reply to things but there sadly aren’t enough hours in the day to respond to everyone though I’d get there as soon as I can.

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Lifestyle

Transcript

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00:00Are you a guy who thinks if you go slowly enough that you just might avoid offending the girl you like and eventually she's going to fall madly in love with you?

00:08And you think that if you try to get sex early, that's going to mean you just want sex and there's definitely no way you can get into a relationship.

00:15Too many guys have been brainwashed by Disneyland romantic fantasies and other Hollywood fantasies about dating which just don't address the reality of dating and attraction.

00:23In fact, they don't address attraction at all.

00:25They always portray some kind of goofy gentleman tripping over himself and, you know, to give flowers to my lady.

00:31And this guy who has no boundaries and basically can be walked all over and if he waits long enough, the girl's going to fall madly in love with him.

00:37Well, quite the opposite is true and for many guys who know already, that just leads straight to being a friend, which is not what you're looking for.

00:43So keep watching because I'm going to explain exactly why you need to go faster and not slower to sweep the woman of your dreams off her feet.

00:49Moving too slow is killing your dating life.

00:56So here's the quick reference or TLDR or TLDW, I guess, for this video.

01:01Then I'll explain each point in detail.

01:02Number one, romantic comedies make their money off of appealing to generally to a woman's sense of romanticism about dating.

01:08But the reality about dating is often quite different, just like everything else in Hollywood.

01:12Number two, if you ask every date home on the first date, you have much higher odds of success, not only of taking someone home, but also of getting into a relationship, whether that's serious or no strings attached.

01:22Number three, moving faster creates momentum and energy to take you towards your relationship and dating goals.

01:27But if you're moving slower, it allows other things to get in the way, including other guys who are also moving in on your territory, let's say, and trying to get the girl that you like.

01:35And those guys are probably moving faster than you.

01:37Number four, by moving slower, you may give an impression that you're more of a friend than a lover and don't really have the confidence to take this relationship where you want it.

01:44Number five, moving faster will not guarantee success, but will establish something about your personality, about your character, showing that you're a more confident man.

01:51You're a more assertive man.

01:53These are qualities which are attractive to women.

01:55So now let's get into the meat and potatoes of this thing.

01:57Let's get into the details.

01:58Here's why moving faster will help you be more successful at dating than moving slower.

02:01Number one, energy and momentum.

02:03Have you ever been to a movie which just moved way too slowly?

02:05The story just didn't really make much progress and you're sitting there for hours waiting for it to get to a point.

02:10And by the time it does get to a point, you're already tired and you're bored.

02:13That's kind of like your dating life when you're moving too slowly for dates.

02:16It kills the momentum, it kills the energy, it kills excitement.

02:19And by the time you get anywhere, it's already too late and she looks at you as a friend.

02:22To get some momentum and energy going with your date, you need to move faster and inject some energy into it so you create that excitement and take it somewhere before it's too late.

02:29Which will also help you get ahead of the other guy who's also trying to go for that girl who's moving slower.

02:34And I'll give you a quick story related to that.

02:36I met a girl one time in a grocery store.

02:38She's really cute.

02:39We had a conversation with her, got her number and we met for a coffee date.

02:42So we're at the coffee shop and she starts talking about a couple other guys that she's been seeing for a number of months.

02:47And neither of these guys have made any kind of move except for both of them, coincidentally, in the same week had confessed, as she said, confessed her love to her.

02:55And she told me how these guys took her out for dinners, they drove her around, they did things for her, taking her places, right?

03:01Basically, they're her errand boy, I guess, errand boys.

03:04And it got them absolutely nowhere.

03:05And she was actually confused because she called them friends, right?

03:08These are friends who are buying her stuff, buying her dinners.

03:11She just didn't clue in.

03:12Obviously, they're not sparking any kind of sexual energy.

03:15There's no romantic interest on her part.

03:17I took her home that same night, right?

03:19If these guys would have actually just moved faster, or at least one of them would have moved faster, one of these guys could have beat the other guy to the punch and made something happen, right?

03:26She was ripe and ready to go, just waiting for the right guy to show up.

03:30Number two, confidence.

03:31Guys who move really slow are typically uncertain of themselves, right?

03:34They feel like they're walking on eggshells and anything they may do might offend the girl, then she won't be interested in seeing them.

03:40And this is really important to them because of the fact they don't have any other dating options, right?

03:45If you don't have any other dating options, you don't know how to go out and meet somebody else,

03:48then this one girl you met, you know, she seems like a precious gem or, you know, like in the Lord of the Rings, my precious.

03:54She's like that ring.

03:55And so these guys don't make any moves because they're scaring the girl away.

03:59And it's quite the opposite, right?

04:00By going too slowly, you're going to actually end up scaring her away because her feelings are going to change into a very platonic way, right?

04:06You're not showing any confidence or assertiveness, which is attractive to women, by not making any moves.

04:11Not establishing the nature of your outings, right?

04:14Which is romantic.

04:14It's not platonic.

04:15Which brings us to number three, setting a romantic vibe.

04:17Making a move or inviting her home is not a guarantee she'll go home with you or that she'll go for the kiss or whatever.

04:23But it is establishing something, right?

04:24It is establishing that this is a romantic thing, showing some balls, showing some confidence and some assertiveness,

04:29which is attractive to women, as I've already mentioned.

04:31Because you have to treat her like a lover and not a friend.

04:33If you treat her like a friend instead of a lover, she's going to mirror that back to you, right?

04:37She's going to give you that friend vibe right back.

04:39But if you treat her like a lover, it's much more likely you're going to get reciprocated as a lover.

04:43Because let's be real, you're not there to be her friend.

04:46You're there to be her romantic partner, have a relationship possibly, or just have sex, whatever it is.

04:50It is not to be a friend.

04:51So don't act like it.

04:52Number four, my number one rule, ask every date home on the first date.

04:56Don't wait till the second date or the third date.

04:58Don't procrastinate.

04:59Don't make excuses.

05:00Don't pretend that she's some special gem or she's innocent or some kind of angel because she's not.

05:05Just like with making any other decisive move, it's showing some confidence and it's ensuring you don't get friend zoned.

05:10Again, it doesn't mean you're going to get somewhere, but at least you're establishing something and if she's not going to go for it, you can move on.

05:15I don't mean necessarily move on after the first date.

05:18You're going to try to set up a second date, of course, but now at least you've shown your true colors, I guess you could say.

05:22You've established the fact that it's a romantic thing and she knows what to expect on the second date.

05:25And another reason why you want to ask her home on the first date is because you're only guaranteed the first date.

05:31As long as she shows up, you're only guaranteed the date that you are on, right?

05:34And whether that's the first date, second date or third date, that's the only date you have.

05:38You can't be expecting anything else.

05:40You can't be planning for the future, right?

05:42It's okay to have the idea they're going to see her again because you like her.

05:44That's great.

05:45But make a move now because this is all you have.

05:47This is all the time you have.

05:48Even if it seems like you're having great chemistry and you're having a great conversation, it does not mean she likes you romantically.

05:53She may be enjoying the conversation, but if she doesn't feel that spark, nothing's going to happen.

05:57So make something happen.

05:59Just make a move and see what happens.

06:00And one quick point that I mentioned earlier, it doesn't matter if you're going for a one-night stand or you're going for a long-term relationship.

06:05All relationships are based on sex, right?

06:07That's where it starts.

06:08It's with attraction.

06:09If there's no sexual chemistry, there's no relationship.

06:12There's no romantic relationship, right?

06:13We're talking about a friendship then.

06:14And many long-term relationships will start with sex, whether it's on the first date, second date, third date.

06:19It doesn't really matter, but it's going to start with sex.

06:21It's a myth that you have to go slower or wait longer if you want a long-term relationship.

06:25For more info on first dates, check out the link in the description or comment section below.

06:29And until next time, conquer and win.