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00:00Previously on Desperate Housewives...
00:03We have some serious problems that are going to require serious work.
00:08Lynette and Tom struggled with their separation.
00:12Mike heard a confession.
00:14I killed Gabby's stepfather.
00:17And me and the girls helped cover it up.
00:20That could change his life with Susan forever.
00:25Bree showed Gabby the note.
00:27Let's say someone knows.
00:29I say until they tell us what they want, we just act like everything's normal.
00:33And decided she needed to end her relationship with Detective Vance.
00:39You know, Bree, I would have done anything for you.
00:44You have made a very big mistake.
00:47It's often said that children learn their most important lessons outside the classroom.
01:02They learn to find peaceful ways to resolve conflict.
01:07To make smart choices about nutrition.
01:11But for Gabrielle Solis, the art of morning drop-off...
01:24What's taking so long?
01:26Come on, let's go!
01:28...was something she'd never learn.
01:30You slow down, push the kid out, and drive off.
01:34Why is this so hard?
01:36You realize I have to go to this school, right?
01:39Oh, come on.
01:40I'm behind the wheelchair, kid.
01:41That's it, Juanita.
01:42Get out.
01:43I'm not allowed until we get to the green zone and a volunteer opens the door.
01:46Remember what happened last week?
01:47Yeah, last week I made it to my hot stone massage.
01:51Just keep your head down.
01:52Pretend I can't speak English and run.
02:05Hold it!
02:14Hi, Dana.
02:15I didn't see you there.
02:16Looks like someone didn't learn her lesson the last two times she broke the drop-off rules.
02:21Three strikes, Elise.
02:23You're out.
02:25What?
02:25Hey!
02:27I need that!
02:28Your drop-off privileges have been revoked.
02:30From now on, you'll be parking in the B-lot and walking Juanita to class.
02:33The B-lot?
02:34That's like a mile away.
02:36These don't walk.
02:37They do now.
02:38Oh, yeah, well, who died and made you boss?
02:41Margaret Fry.
02:42Cancer.
02:43Oh, right.
02:44I still owe for those flowers.
02:46Oh, relax, Pam.
02:49You'll still make it to Weight Watchers.
02:51Problem here, Dana?
02:52Oh, great.
02:52Now the pips are here.
02:54It's Elise again.
02:55She's holding up traffic.
02:57Yeah, and I'm not moving until you give me back my placard.
03:00Oh, Pam, eat a carrot!
03:01Tell you what, if you can take the placard from me, you can keep it.
03:06You know what, I'm not a child.
03:11I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of it.
03:19Oh!
03:19You know what, Dana, just because you're a head of PTA doesn't mean you get to make the laws.
03:24Oh, I have news for you.
03:26Here at Oak Ridge, I am the law.
03:29Yes, some of our most important lessons are learned outside the classroom.
03:34And when it came to school politics, Gabrielle's education was just beginning.
03:41When it came to her separation, Lynette Scavo was determined to do everything by the book.
04:02She made sure her visitation days were evenly divided.
04:07She kept perfect records of her household expenses.
04:11She found healthy ways to relieve her stress.
04:18Yes, Lynette was confident her by-the-book approach was the right one.
04:23Sadly, not everyone was on the same page.
04:27Well, look who cleaned up the sad sack aisle at the bookstore.
04:31At least your divorce is good for the publishing industry.
04:33We're not using the D word.
04:35It's a separation.
04:37Tom and I are going to heal through counseling
04:40so we can find a road to reconnection.
04:44And if not, murder on the Orient Express.
04:51Penny?
04:52Your dad's here.
04:54Explain something to me.
04:55If you're trying to win back your husband,
04:57why do you dress like you sell oranges by the freeway?
04:59Hey, sorry I'm late.
05:02I haven't stopped at the store and took longer than I expected.
05:06Because you taught your dog a pretty cat?
05:09Ha-ha's.
05:12It's just a teeth whitener.
05:14Teeth whitening, huh?
05:16And unless sweatsuits are the new business casual,
05:19it looks like you're working out, too.
05:21I'm trying.
05:23It helps cheer me up when the kids aren't around.
05:25Daddy!
05:26I'm going to get Parker at practice.
05:29I love you.
05:29Have fun.
05:30I love your dad.
05:31Bye.
05:31Drive safe.
05:38I've got a new book title for you.
05:40Your husband's banging somebody.
05:44What?
05:45Chapter 1, White Teeth.
05:48Chapter 2, Working Out.
05:51Chapter 3, The Nasty.
05:53He's just trying to take better care of himself.
05:57Oh, my dad.
05:58I expect you to be naive about hair, makeup, and fashion,
06:01but about this?
06:02Trust me.
06:04Tom has hooked up.
06:05He's not.
06:06He's not.
06:07If he was dating someone, he would tell me.
06:13He would.
06:15Right?
06:37That doesn't look too suspicious.
06:40I'm sorry.
06:41Just every time I check the mail,
06:42I'm afraid it's going to be another one of those letters.
06:44It's been three weeks.
06:45Maybe we're out of the woods.
06:47Please don't say woods.
06:48I'm just saying,
06:49if someone was trying to blackmail us,
06:50they're not very good at it,
06:51since they haven't asked for money or anything.
06:53Well, what happened to them?
06:55Did they just disappear?
06:56If we're lucky.
06:58Now that Chuck the Cop is out of your life,
07:00Susan's acting normal,
07:01I think we're in the clear.
07:04Good.
07:05Here they are.
07:05Oh, Danielle and Benjamin.
07:11Fun.
07:11What's the occasion?
07:12Her husband left her.
07:14Oh, okay.
07:15Well, I'd stay and say hi,
07:16but that would involve a lot of listening and sad nodding.
07:18Oh, honey,
07:22I am so sorry about you and Leo.
07:24Thanks, Mom.
07:25Not that I didn't see it coming.
07:27That didn't take long.
07:29Neither did the marriage.
07:29So how are you holding up?
07:32My husband left me.
07:33It sucks.
07:35But you know how that feels.
07:37You just got dumped by that cop, right?
07:41Um, actually,
07:43I am the one who ended it with Chuck.
07:44He wanted to marry me,
07:46bought me a ring.
07:47But that's not important.
07:50This week,
07:51or weeks,
07:54is about you.
07:55We are going to make a plan
07:56to put your life back together.
07:57A plan?
07:58Mom, this all just happened.
08:00Give me a few days
08:01to eat ice cream and veg out.
08:03Of course, honey.
08:05I promised you on your wedding day
08:06that I would be here when he left you.
08:10You know what?
08:11Maybe we'll just crash on Andrew's floor.
08:13What?
08:14That's so uncomfortable.
08:15Not as bad as staying here
08:17and getting picked apart by you.
08:19I promise I won't criticize you.
08:23Besides,
08:23if you sleep on Andrew's floor,
08:25you'll need a tetanus shot.
08:28What?
08:28I said I wouldn't criticize you.
08:30I didn't say anything about your brother.
08:39Okay, I know that last night
08:46I said you could take all the time you need
08:48to work through what Carlos and I told you,
08:50but while you're taking all the time you need,
08:55do you think you could maybe tell me that you still love me?
09:00I mean, if you still love me.
09:07There is nothing you could do that would make me stop loving you.
09:13Mike, it was so hard to keep this from you.
09:17Like, the hardest thing I've ever done.
09:18Well, at least I understand why you've been so distant.
09:24And to be honest, I'm kind of relieved you weren't having an affair.
09:27Well, now that you know, I just want everything to go back to normal.
09:34Okay, but I hope you realize it might not be that easy.
09:40Take it from a guy who's done things like this, they don't just disappear.
09:47Yeah, I know that.
09:48But I think if I focus on other stuff and move on with my life, it'll be okay.
09:56Great.
09:59And, first step, taking a painting class at the college.
10:04It's being taught by Andre Zeller.
10:06Okay, that means nothing to you.
10:10It's like I'm taking a football class from Peyton Manning.
10:14Whoa.
10:17It's just what I need.
10:18I think it'll be a great way to take my mind off everything that's happened.
10:21So, I'm going to get my portfolio together.
10:25Mr. Zeller has to approve all his students.
10:27Not that I'm worried.
10:28Oh, and Mike, from now on, I swear, no more secrets between us.
10:36Is that my school?
10:46The tiny little building way down there?
10:48Would have been faster if we just walked from home.
10:52Hey!
10:53First time in the B-lot, huh?
10:56Welcome.
10:57What are you in for?
10:59Practically nothing.
11:00I let my kid get out of the car by herself.
11:02Oof.
11:03Dana, take your placard.
11:05Yeah, but I'll get it back in a day or two.
11:08Are you kidding?
11:10She'll have you in here for the rest of the year.
11:12What?
11:13She can't do that.
11:14Oh, you want to bet?
11:16I took a cell phone call in the green zone.
11:19That was two months ago.
11:20My kid had peanut butter crackers in his lunchbox.
11:23I'm looking at four to six.
11:25This is crazy.
11:26No, this is Dana.
11:28Dana the painter?
11:30Dana, you better not complainer.
11:32Dana power's dropping me insaneer.
11:35Oh my God, is this what the B-lot does to you?
11:38That, four kids in the flask in her purse.
11:41Well, if everyone thinks she's such a painter, how'd you get the job?
11:44It's an elected position.
11:46We voted for her.
11:47Well, not me.
11:49I don't vote.
11:50All right, when's the next PTA meeting?
11:52There's one Thursday.
11:54Okay.
11:55I say we band together, storm that meeting, and go all Braveheart on Dana's ass.
12:00Who's with me?
12:04Have you guys not seen Braveheart?
12:06I know it's an old reference, but this is when you go,
12:08Yeah!
12:08Yeah!
12:09Yeah!
12:11Guys, come on.
12:13If every fat-up mom in this B-lot shows up, we can break our shackles, get our placards back.
12:18We can...
12:18Oh, the movie, 300.
12:20This is Sparta!
12:22You've seen that, right?
12:24Yeah!
12:24Okay, I'll see you ladies Thursday.
12:34Hmm?
12:37This is excellent work.
12:40Thank you, Mr. Zeller.
12:42Now, I know what you're thinking.
12:44Why does a professional artist who can do this want to take a painting class?
12:50That is what I'm thinking.
12:51Well, mainly because I'm a huge fan of your work.
12:54That series you did, based on Dante's Inferno, the one with the guy chewing the other guy's head off.
13:00I wish I could paint like that.
13:03You're very kind, but then again, look what you've done with these bunnies.
13:07Tell me, do you start with watercolor and then outline with a rapidograph?
13:10Actually, it's the other way around.
13:12I have a very steady hand.
13:14Oh, clearly.
13:15My compliments, Ms. Delfino.
13:17Technically, it was very impressive.
13:19Oh, thank you.
13:22So, obviously, I'm in.
13:26No.
13:27Obviously, you're out.
13:30What?
13:32Don't get me wrong.
13:33You're a fine illustrator, but this isn't what I call art.
13:36Excuse me, but my paintings have been in dozens of books.
13:39I mean, some of them bestsellers.
13:41Perhaps you've heard of Dr. Porcupine?
13:45He has a very prickly bedside manner.
13:47Right.
13:48See, when you say art, you mean a hedgehog with a stethoscope.
13:52And to me, art means reaching down your throat, tearing your guts out,
13:55smearing it all over a canvas.
13:58Anger.
13:59Passion.
14:00That's what interests me.
14:01Well, Dr. Porcupine loses a patient and kills a hooker.
14:05Doesn't have the same ring to it.
14:07I'm looking for serious students of the media.
14:10You're a bored housewife trying to kill time between spin class and driving your kid to soccer practice.
14:15Hey, that's not fair.
14:16Just because I've done children's books doesn't mean I can't do anything else.
14:21Really?
14:23Do you have any work that reflects what I've been talking about?
14:26Of course I do.
14:27I'll bring it in tomorrow.
14:30I would bring it in now, but I have to pick up my son.
14:37From prison.
14:38In 1985, musician Bob Geldof organized a benefit concert to fight famine in...
14:47There you are.
14:48Though I don't know why I'm surprised.
14:49It's where you've been the last three days.
14:51Guatemala.
14:52It's Guatemala!
14:53Ethiopia.
14:54Loser.
14:55Ethiopia is correct.
14:58Congratulations.
14:59Well, given that you won't be making your fortune off game shows, perhaps it's time we had that talk about your future.
15:07Mom, I'm still healing.
15:09My marriage fell apart.
15:10You of all people should know how that feels.
15:13Yes, and I sat in that same chair healing and eventually turned into a raging alcoholic.
15:18Oh, man.
15:19Wine sounds really good right now.
15:21We should get a bottle.
15:24What? You can't even have a sip?
15:25No.
15:26Now you need to think about putting your life back together, getting a job.
15:30You have a son to consider.
15:32Oh, jeez.
15:36I found you.
15:37Now go hide and we'll play again.
15:42One, two, three.
15:45Okay, there is something I've been thinking about doing.
15:47Oh.
15:48What job?
15:50Retail?
15:50Waitressing?
15:52Better.
15:52My own business.
15:54I designed this exercise equipment and I think I could sell it on the internet.
16:01Danielle, what do you know about starting a business?
16:03I already have the design and I wrote up a business plan.
16:06I think it could really work.
16:07All I need is a little seed money.
16:09Say, $5,000.
16:11$5,000?
16:12Well, I need the supplies and I have to rent a place to work out of.
16:15I will give you $5,000 and you can use the test kitchen.
16:21Seriously?
16:24Mom, thank you so much.
16:25This means a lot to me.
16:27Well, I am very proud of you.
16:28And you know what?
16:29You are setting a wonderful example for Benjamin.
16:32Ow, crap.
16:34Ready or not, here I come.
16:40Hey.
16:41Sorry I'm late.
16:43Hope you don't mind if I have my lunch while we go over our schedules.
16:46That's lunch?
16:47Protein shake.
16:48Just trying to stay lean and mean.
16:52I did that once.
16:54All I got was mean.
16:56Hey, I had to move my meeting to Wednesday afternoon.
16:59Think you can pick up the kids?
17:00I'll cover Penny's orthodontist on Friday.
17:03Sure.
17:04And Saturday, Parker has that birthday.
17:06Since that's your day, you can have him longer on Sunday if you want.
17:11Great.
17:12Yeah.
17:13That is everything on my end.
17:15Do you?
17:17I heard back from that couples counselor.
17:19She can squeeze us in Thursday at 6 o'clock.
17:23I mean, if you still want to go to therapy.
17:27Absolutely.
17:28Oh.
17:30I can make Thursday work.
17:32Good.
17:33I'll book the appointment.
17:36Hello?
17:39Hey.
17:43Hey, can I call you back?
17:45Hey.
17:45Oh, okay.
17:48Hold on a sec.
17:50Um, this is a work thing.
17:52Is there anything else you need from me?
17:54Uh, no.
17:57I will.
17:59See you Thursday.
18:00Okay.
18:00Hey, sorry about that
18:05Let me get this straight, Jill
18:14For back-to-school night appetizers
18:16You're suggesting pretzels?
18:18What are we, a public school?
18:22Hey, sorry
18:23Did you guys know there was an AA meeting in the gym?
18:26I sat through five
18:27I left my kid in the car while drinking stories
18:29Before I realized I was in the wrong place
18:31Donut?
18:35Gabrielle Solis
18:36What brings you to your first ever PTA meeting?
18:42Same thing that brought our founding fathers to
18:45Wherever they went when all that crap happened with England
18:49Freedom
18:50Freedom?
18:52Yeah, that's right
18:53Freedom to oppose an unjust ruler
18:55And her unjust placard-stealing ways
18:59We are here to tell you
19:00Your reign of terror is over
19:01Right, girls?
19:05Guys, come on
19:06Melissa
19:08Have you forgotten about the blood blister you got
19:11Hiking from the B-lot?
19:13And you
19:13Other woman
19:15You were 20 minutes late to your manicure
19:18Show them your hands
19:19This can't go on
19:21She's right
19:25Yeah
19:26Tell her, Gabby
19:28According to your sacred rule book
19:30Which, by the way, is a snore fest
19:32A group of five parents
19:34Can seek a vote of no confidence in a president
19:36So
19:40Guess I'll be taking that vote now
19:42Melissa
19:44Rachel
19:44Rachel
19:45You sure you want to do this?
19:54No
19:55It's an obvious bribe
19:57Well
19:58It worked
19:59Yeah
20:00What?
20:07Guess we won't be having that vote after all
20:10So what?
20:12What more can you do to me?
20:13I already park in the B-lot
20:14Nice, Mom
20:29Hello
20:39Mom
20:40I, uh
20:41I asked you not to come in here
20:43I am not staying
20:44I just thought my little entrepreneurs could use some lemonade
20:47So
20:50This is it
20:52The big internet startup
20:54Yes
20:55And for your information
20:56As soon as we put up the site
20:57They started selling like crazy
20:58Over two hundred of them
21:01Well, I stand corrected
21:02Good for you
21:03So how exactly does this exercise equipment work?
21:08Uh
21:08Well
21:09It kind of incorporates Pilates and stretching
21:11It's really more for serious athletes
21:14That might be another order
21:17I should get that
21:18But
21:18Could you take Benjamin to go get some lunch?
21:20Of course
21:21Benji
21:21Hello
21:28Ecstasy sex swing
21:29We put the swing back in your sex life
21:31Yes
21:32Yes, it can sport up to three hundred pounds
21:34And we guarantee you maximum pleasure for you and your partner
21:37Ready?
21:43Ta-da
21:44Is this for me?
21:46Unless you know another Penny Scavo with an incredibly generous mom
21:50Look
21:51Look
21:51Even as a camera
21:53Cool
21:53Look, my birthday was last month
21:56I know
21:57But this way
21:58When you're at your dad's
21:59We can video chat
22:00Like
22:01When you need help with homework
22:03Or you've been having trouble with math
22:04No, I haven't
22:06Well, you might
22:07So
22:08Bring it
22:08Okay?
22:09Hey, sweetie
22:18Long time no see
22:20Mom
22:21You just dropped me off
22:23Really?
22:23Feels like forever
22:24The gum you gave me in the car
22:26Still has flavor
22:27Well, I miss you
22:29Actually
22:30Since you called
22:31We're multiplying mixed fractions
22:33And I'm kind of
22:34I know what you mean
22:35Can you move your head?
22:36Uh
22:36Sure
22:37So
22:39Do I need a common denominator?
22:41Honey, the sun's creating a glare
22:43Would you mind turning your screen?
22:44It's just a scooch
22:45Okay
22:46Ooh
22:48Dad's new place looks nice
22:51Yeah, it is
22:52Hey
22:53You know what might be fun?
22:55Why don't you give me a tour?
22:57Just turn your tablet around
22:59And scan the room
23:00Uh
23:04Big screen TV
23:06There's a 9.0
23:07On the predictability scale
23:08Empty pizza box
23:11Dirty plate
23:12Dirty glass
23:13It's nice
23:14He's kept the same decorating scheme
23:16My arms are getting tired
23:18Little longer
23:19Think light thoughts
23:20Stop, go back
23:22I want to see your dad's
23:24New, lovely
23:25Curtains
23:26Wow
23:30They're nice
23:32But they seem a little young for him
23:34Who is that?
23:39That's Chloe
23:40She lives in the building
23:41She's really nice
23:43Apparently
23:45So
23:48Is Chloe around a lot?
23:50Sometimes
23:51Sometimes
23:51She teaches a booty burn ballet class
23:54So
23:54She's mostly at the fitness center
23:56Hey mom
23:58Dad's got black toilets
23:59You want to see them?
24:01No
24:02Thanks
24:02I've seen enough
24:04Okay
24:04So
24:05When I multiply these fractions
24:06Okay sweetie
24:07I love you
24:08Okay sweetie, I love you
24:08Well it's different
24:16Mm-hmm
24:17So what does this mean to you?
24:20Loneliness
24:21Isolation
24:22Not long ago
24:24This tree was lush and green
24:26But now it's lost its leaves
24:30And winter's ahead
24:32And it's just doing what it can to survive
24:36So let me guess
24:41You're the tree
24:42Okay
24:48You're
24:49Mocking me again
24:51Well goodbye
24:52Hold on
24:53Hold on
24:53We're having our artistic dialogue here
24:54I bet your night went something like this
24:57You went home and asked yourself
24:59How do I prove to Andra Zeller
25:01That I'm deep
25:02So you dug down through the cupcakes
25:05And the throw pillows
25:07And the once a week sex of your life
25:09To your very core
25:10And you found this sad little tree
25:12And it's so profound
25:16Because the tree's lonely
25:17Just like I am
25:18Now that Oprah's off the air
25:20How dare you
25:24You don't know anything about me
25:27What's to know?
25:28You're shallow
25:29And your work is shallow
25:31And God bless you
25:31Because if I had your life
25:32I'd be painting bunnies too
25:34You want everything to be nice and pretty
25:36You're afraid of ugly
25:37You think I'm afraid of ugly?
25:45You want ugly?
25:46There
25:48There's some ugly for you
25:50You want passion?
25:53Well here you go
25:54There's passion
25:54Passion all over the place
25:56You know I am not some shallow sucker mom
26:00I have done things that you can't believe
26:02I have anger
26:03And I have pain
26:05I have secrets in me that I wish
26:10I could get rid of and I can't
26:13It's fine
26:18You know you
26:18You've made your mind up about me
26:20So screw your class
26:22Screw your medium
26:23Screw you
26:25You know you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not sure you're not
26:55Ah, there you are.
27:06Hey, do you have a recipe for...
27:09Oh, congratulations.
27:12For what?
27:13Well, I didn't know you and Chuck were back together.
27:16We're not.
27:18Well, then why are you wearing a sex swing?
27:21A what?
27:22Oh, no, this is Danielle's new business.
27:27She's making exercise equipment.
27:31Uh, yeah.
27:32For a very specific kind of exercise.
27:39Sex swing.
27:42I've never even heard of such a thing.
27:44Now, don't try this one if you get dizzy easily.
27:53Mom?
27:55Exercise equipment?
27:57When I get out of this, you are in so much trouble.
28:00I'll write you a check later.
28:03Sex swing?
28:04In my test kitchen?
28:05Do you realize I used to make people wear hairnets in here?
28:09Danielle, I am very disappointed in you.
28:12Gosh, where have I heard that before?
28:14Oh, don't you try to turn this around on me!
28:17For the first time in my life, I've found something that I'm good at.
28:21And that's successful.
28:22And that's still not good enough for you.
28:24You just live to judge me.
28:28Danielle?
28:28Danielle, where are you going?
28:30Now, I'm telling you, it was bad.
28:37Andre probably called the loony bin and they're on their way here right now with a butterfly net.
28:41It's okay, babe.
28:42No, it's not.
28:44I just ran out of there.
28:46I forgot my portfolio.
28:49I don't know what the hell came over me.
28:52Susan, I know how badly you want what happened in the woods to go away.
28:58But I have to tell you the truth.
28:59It's not going to.
29:02It's part of you.
29:04No.
29:05No.
29:07I don't want it to be.
29:09I don't want it to be either.
29:10Just like I don't want my dark stuff to be part of me.
29:13But it is.
29:15Mike, please.
29:16Please stop saying this.
29:18I'm trying to protect you.
29:19If you can accept this as part of you,
29:26maybe you can figure out how to live with it.
29:29But if you don't,
29:32that's when it jumps out without warning.
29:38And trust me,
29:40that's a bad way to live.
29:42So things are never going to be the way they were.
29:56Things are how they are.
29:59You okay?
30:07Mommy, will you check my math worksheet?
30:09It's really hard.
30:13Sure, sure, honey.
30:14In case you're wondering how I got here,
30:35the UPS man heard my cries and cut me down.
30:38Suffice to say, we're FedEx people now.
30:40Look, I know you think that I am judgmental.
30:45Think?
30:47Danielle, you should have gone to college.
30:49Danielle, you dressed like a streetwalker.
30:51Danielle, I knew your marriage wouldn't last.
30:54Yeah, a little bit.
30:56What I was going to say is you're right.
30:58Why are you admitting this?
31:02Because I thought about what you said,
31:04and I realized I am far from perfect.
31:06I have no right to be so critical.
31:09Okay, now you're freaking me out.
31:11Did something happen?
31:14Just know that a certain recent event
31:18made me aware that I am in no position
31:21to judge you or anyone else.
31:24What are you talking about?
31:27It doesn't matter.
31:28The point is,
31:30can you forgive me?
31:35Wow.
31:37That's like the first time you've ever said that.
31:43And, yes, I forgive you.
31:46And to prove that I am sincere,
31:50I would like to invest in your business
31:52and support you in making those
31:53disgustingly happy swings.
31:58You mean like a silent partner?
32:00A silent, invisible,
32:02and completely untraceable partner
32:04who supports you from far, far away.
32:09I love you, sweetie.
32:12I love you, too.
32:17Now, go pack up your sex factory
32:20and I will bake us some cookies.
32:27You're about to paint a hundred bad paintings.
32:30So let's get those out of the way
32:32so you can start painting the good ones.
32:37What are you doing?
32:38Uh, I forgot my portfolio.
32:42Sit down.
32:44Excuse me?
32:45Sit down.
32:46You're late.
32:48Um,
32:49does that mean
32:51you're letting me join the class?
32:53For now.
32:55But that woman who showed up yesterday,
32:57the crazy one,
32:59she better be here every single day.
33:02Um,
33:03I don't know if I like that woman.
33:06She scares me.
33:08Good.
33:09Okay.
33:13I want you to start by forgetting
33:15everything you heard about brush technique.
33:17I've seen your painting,
33:18and either you heard it wrong
33:19or it was wrong.
33:28Hey.
33:28Hey.
33:29You ready for a walk?
33:30Actually, change of plans.
33:31I thought we'd go to that
33:32booty burn ballet class
33:33at the fitness center.
33:34What's going on?
33:36Nothing.
33:36Can't a woman just want to
33:37burn her booty?
33:40Fine.
33:40I think you're right about Tom seeing someone.
33:42She's an aerobics teacher.
33:44Oh,
33:44of course she is.
33:46Cliche much?
33:47So I'm thinking I'll go to her class
33:49and I'll...
33:50Actually,
33:50I don't know what the hell I'm thinking.
33:52You're thinking you want to spy on this woman
33:54and see what she's like,
33:55then key her car on the way out.
33:56It's perfectly natural.
33:58So I'm not crazy?
33:59I shouldn't just be direct
34:00and ask Tom if he's seeing something.
34:02Why?
34:02So he can lie to you
34:03through his unnaturally white teeth?
34:06Okay, then.
34:07I guess we're going.
34:08Yeah.
34:09Booty burn ballet.
34:10I think we can do this.
34:12Please.
34:12How hard can it be?
34:15Am I the only one about to pass out?
34:18No.
34:19I keep seeing my dead grandfather
34:20at the end of the tunnel saying,
34:22come toward the light.
34:24Keep going, ladies.
34:25Keep your eyes on the thighs.
34:28Did she just use
34:29a civil rights rallying cry
34:31to get us to lose ass fat?
34:33First time, huh?
34:34Well, what gave me away?
34:37The fact that this was light blue
34:38when I came in?
34:39Well, the good news is
34:41if you have a heart attack,
34:42I'm a doctor.
34:43The bad news is
34:44if you have one,
34:45I'm not.
34:46Okay.
34:47So if I die,
34:49please put me ass up in the coffin.
34:51I'd hate for all this work
34:52to go to waste.
34:53On your feet, ladies.
34:56Okay.
34:58We've checked out the competition.
34:59Can we go now?
35:00No.
35:01I want to talk to her.
35:03Okay, everybody.
35:05Time to work those quads.
35:08I don't know.
35:09I hate more right now.
35:10You or her.
35:11Fifty lunges.
35:12Jump toward your skinny, skinny future.
35:15And we have a winner.
35:16Hi, it's Mrs. Solis.
35:24Can you tell Sean I'm running
35:25about 20 minutes late
35:26for my brow waxing appointment?
35:29What?
35:30He can't hold it for me?
35:31But I've got caterpillars
35:32over my eyes.
35:35Fine.
35:36I'll be there in five minutes.
35:37Juanita,
35:38get back in the car.
35:39We're going drop-off.
35:52Gabby,
35:52what are you doing?
35:53You can't be in the carpool lane
35:55without a placard.
35:56Don't give a crap.
35:57It's time somebody
35:57taught Dana a lesson.
35:59We need to break
35:59the back of our oppressor.
36:01Mobilize the cones!
36:18Get out, sweetie.
36:19Go, go, go, go, go!
36:21Never gonna get that eyebrow wax.
36:43Again, Dana,
36:44I am so sorry.
36:46On the upside,
36:47that cast is so slimming.
36:50It's like a hard Spanx.
36:53Gabby,
36:53there's a reason
36:54I asked to see you.
36:56You wanted to give me
36:57my placard back.
36:59No.
37:00Could you hand me
37:01those painkillers?
37:04Just wanted to bring you
37:06up to date on some
37:06school-related news.
37:08Given my condition,
37:09they've informed me
37:10that I'm no longer able
37:12to carry out my duties
37:13as PTA president.
37:15That's a bummer.
37:17Yes, it is.
37:19The bylaws state
37:22I'm to appoint
37:23an acting president
37:24and I've made my decision.
37:27Me?
37:29Wait, you hate me.
37:31Very perceptive.
37:32That'll serve you well
37:33as PTA president.
37:36Okay, wait.
37:37Why are you doing this?
37:39Let me tell you
37:40what I was like
37:40before I took this job.
37:42I was fun.
37:44I drank at school functions.
37:45My boob fell out
37:46at the holiday party.
37:48I still had a husband.
37:51So what turned you
37:52into this?
37:53The job did.
37:54Mm-hmm.
37:55And it's gonna do
37:56the same to you.
37:58Yeah.
37:58No time for manicures
37:59because you'll be
38:00planning the winter gala.
38:03No more seeing your husband
38:04because you'll be
38:05organizing the bake sale.
38:06And no more friends
38:08because you'll always
38:09be hitting them up
38:10for something.
38:10While as attractive
38:13as your little
38:14revenge fantasy sounds
38:15I'm gonna pass,
38:17then I guess
38:17I'm gonna have to
38:18go ahead and
38:19press charges.
38:21What are you talking about?
38:23It was an accident.
38:24I have witnesses
38:25who heard you say
38:28you were going
38:28to break my back.
38:30And I do have
38:31a broken back.
38:32Okay.
38:32So, the winter gala.
38:43It's in the winter, right?
38:47That's interesting.
38:49Interesting.
38:50So really,
38:50you have three careers.
38:52You're an aerobics instructor,
38:53aromatherapist,
38:54and a lingerie model.
38:56Well, lingerie modeling
38:57is more of a hobby
38:58than a career.
38:59But when God
39:00gives you these...
39:01Right.
39:03Are you sure
39:03God gave you those?
39:05I'm just kidding.
39:06I'm just kidding.
39:07It's nice talking
39:07to you, Chloe.
39:09Ready to go?
39:10Yes.
39:11So?
39:12Well, obviously
39:13I'm not thrilled
39:14to look at her.
39:15But it could be worse.
39:17How?
39:18She could look like that
39:19and have a single
39:20thought in her head.
39:21I mean, there's no way
39:22Tom's ever gonna get
39:23serious about a woman
39:24like that.
39:25Yeah.
39:26She's just a fling.
39:27A palate cleanser.
39:29The sorbet you eat
39:30between courses.
39:30I'm really sorry
39:32I said that.
39:34I give the whole thing
39:35three weeks.
39:36Lynette?
39:40Hey!
39:41Tom!
39:42What's...
39:42What's going on?
39:45I'll meet you at the car.
39:46Okay.
39:49What are you doing here?
39:50I know.
39:54Know what?
39:57What?
39:59Okay.
40:01We just had dinner
40:02a couple of times.
40:03There's nothing going on.
40:07Whatever.
40:10So is this how you're gonna be
40:11spending your free time now?
40:13Spying on me?
40:15Oh, well that's
40:15a brilliant strategy, Tom.
40:16Act like I'm the one
40:17in the wrong.
40:18You're the one dating
40:18the underwear model.
40:20What are you talking about?
40:25Chloe?
40:25I'm not dating Chloe.
40:27Jeez, Lynette.
40:28Give me a little credit.
40:30Then who have you
40:30been having dinner with?
40:31Why are you here?
40:32I am picking up
40:33Jane, Chloe's mom.
40:35Like I said, it's just
40:43a couple of dinners
40:44and coffee.
40:46Oh, it's coffee now?
40:47God, Tom.
40:48When were you gonna
40:49tell me this?
40:50Thursday
40:51in counseling.
40:55You ready to go?
40:57Yeah.
41:00Lynette, we'll talk about
41:00this Thursday, right?
41:02What's the point?
41:03Yes, we often learn
41:10our most important lessons
41:12outside the classroom.
41:16The painful truth
41:18about the state
41:19of a relationship.
41:23The ugly cost
41:25of challenging authority.
41:26The sad fact
41:30that life's colors
41:31aren't always rosy.
41:36Then there are those
41:37who refuse to accept
41:39these important lessons.
41:42They simply wait
41:43for the chance
41:44to teach a lesson
41:46of their own.
41:47Don't tell me
41:52you're still stewing
41:52about that redhead.
41:55Well, I'm not a big fan
41:56of getting let on
41:57and humiliated.
41:59So, yeah, I'm not...
42:01I don't think I'm
42:01letting go of this one yet.
42:03Suit yourself.
42:05I got some missing person
42:06reports here for you.
42:08Just throw some over there.
42:09All right.
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