- 4 months ago
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00:00She's had this bookmarked on her laptop from ages ago. Ages ago. It's the one, I reckon. What do you think?
00:21I think a shotgun wedding is the kind of thing your dad would do.
00:23It's not a shotgun wedding, it's a surprise wedding. We're engaged, Mum. Lauren wants excitement, a bit of spontaneity.
00:30Yeah, what could be more...
00:32Spontaneous?
00:33Spontaneous.
00:33Exactly. Dad and Gran are on board. I've got Kim and Denise. They're on standby for hair and make-up.
00:39Yeah, actually, all I need now is decorations, if you don't mind, and for you to put any negativity aside and, you know, just help me out with the boys today, please.
00:47Oscar!
00:48And everybody knows bar penny, so please just keep it that way, because if anyone's going to ruin today, we, uh...
00:53Yeah, just keep it.
00:55That snide arsenal kit that you got, Louis, well, the badge is now falling off, and he's kicking off, so you're going to need to go and talk to him, because you're the one that got him into football.
01:03Go on.
01:07Yeah, cheers.
01:11Something that's written here.
01:14I have a, uh, well, we have a little surprise for you.
01:17Mm.
01:18Are your mum moving out?
01:19No, not today.
01:22I've, uh, I booked you a spa day, right?
01:25Mum's going to take care of the boys.
01:26She's going to do the drop-offs and the pick-ups, look after Louis and Jimmy, and I'm going to take you for a drink afterwards, because you deserve it.
01:34Peter, I've got better.
01:37It's a lovely idea, but can we rain check it, yeah?
01:40I'm sorry.
01:43No, eh?
01:43Right, come on, I'll see you later.
01:45See you.
01:45Love ya.
01:46Yeah, I love you too.
01:48I think a rain check is a very good idea.
01:52No.
01:52No.
01:53No.
01:54Where do you get married today?
01:55It is going to be clear skies from now on.
02:00Desperate times call for desperate measures.
02:02Lily!
02:03Yeah?
02:03Voila.
02:07Your first Brazilian brekkie.
02:10It's just a little taster, in case you change your mind.
02:13Yeah, I think I'd rather cornflakes, but that's not why I'm staying right.
02:15Oh, Lily, please.
02:17Look, I get it, all right?
02:18It's going to be hard for Ricky, but this is an opportunity for you and Charlie.
02:23You're a different culture, different language, beaches, a new life.
02:28My life is here now, Mum.
02:29But you are my life.
02:31You and Charlie, Hope and Arthur, I need you all with me.
02:34Now, I know that Kat is getting everyone to the Albert later to say goodbye, and I know
02:38we'll miss everyone.
02:40But I'm ready to say goodbye to them.
02:43I ain't ready to say goodbye to you too.
02:46Just come with me.
02:49Please, just come with me.
02:51It's not forever.
02:57I want you to be happy, Mum.
02:58And if that's Brazil, then you need to go.
03:02But me and Charlie are staying.
03:03Hey!
03:19You going to open up early?
03:22I bet you're buzzing about that black cab we've got coming in, eh?
03:24Well, listen, I'm going to pop to the cafe on my way in.
03:29Grab us a cuppa, a little pastry or two, set us up for the day.
03:32Jessica, we're in the garage.
03:35I'm going to have lunch.
03:38Big coach!
03:40What are you saying?
03:41That's a backpack.
03:42It's got six pockets.
03:45Nice.
03:46Nice.
03:46Good shout on this.
03:48I'm a new man.
03:49Huh?
03:50The boy looks after me.
03:52Hey, he's a good friend.
03:54Mm-hmm.
04:00Can we get ready for work?
04:02Harry, you know, uh,
04:04Pojo's last trip in Luton?
04:05Where we took that risk?
04:08Well, we stepped on a few South London toes,
04:10and they did a number on one of our divas.
04:13Okay, what do you want me to do about it?
04:15Your day job, bruv.
04:17What do you think he was going to do?
04:18Well, I'm going to go and make some calls,
04:20and Oki's going to stay here.
04:21Just in case they know about this place.
04:23Wait, you think they know about here?
04:24No, no, no.
04:25It's just precaution.
04:27Go to work.
04:27Everything is normal.
04:28But keep an eye out,
04:29and let Oki know if you see anything suspicious.
04:32Well, he's going to be here on his own.
04:33Yeah.
04:34You need to pack when you've got a big dog on sight.
04:38All right.
04:39Great pleasure in beating up your soul.
04:42Ah, all right?
04:53See these?
04:54If I was flying,
04:55I'd have to pay extra for these bags.
04:58Okay, your stinky boyfriend's just offered me
04:59a free day at a spa for some reason,
05:01but apparently you're too busy
05:03not selling cars to take the day off.
05:05No, Penny, I can't.
05:06Oh, yes, you can.
05:07Okay, so lock up these curtain shots
05:08and pack a towel.
05:10Penny needs pampering.
05:16Shoot, if you want to make sure he's dead,
05:17then you've got Vido, haven't you?
05:19I mean, he was our dad.
05:21I know he didn't always show it,
05:22but he loved us.
05:23No, no, no, I know he did.
05:27All right.
05:27Just think about it.
05:29For me.
05:29Are you okay?
05:38No, you were right.
05:39It's too much.
05:40Just doing all this on my own.
05:42I can count to one-hand
05:43the amount of people that are gonna come.
05:44Stew's a no.
05:45Jay's at his granddad's.
05:47Oh, Carl, just let me help.
05:48No, no, you shouldn't have to.
05:51He's got family.
05:52Whatever he was,
05:53I know that he cared deep down there, didn't I?
05:57Just...
05:57I just want to give him a good send-off, you know?
06:00Yeah.
06:01Yeah, no, I get it.
06:03You want to make it up?
06:04Yeah.
06:13Got all your make-up bits and bobs in here.
06:14Got a towel, deodorant.
06:17I'm sure they're gonna have everything you need at the spa,
06:19but still.
06:20You calling Penny for backup?
06:22Anyone would think you're trying to get rid of me today.
06:24Really?
06:25You haven't got that Demi coming around
06:26for a private show, have you?
06:27I can't afford two spa passes
06:30and a private desk.
06:31You just deserve it, that's all.
06:33Oh, he's not coming to, is he?
06:34I thought my bikini wax was the only pain
06:36I was gonna have to suffer today.
06:38No, no, no, no.
06:39I've just come over to talk to Peter about...
06:40work stuff.
06:43Right, okay, well, enjoy work stuff.
06:47Yeah.
06:47Bye.
06:48Bye, I love you.
06:49Okay, your gran's driving me nuts talking about vegetarian options.
06:52All right, well, the bride's still has to eat, Dad.
06:54Yeah, and have you heard?
06:55Oscar was planning on reusing all the stuff from Patrick's wedding, okay?
06:58Between him and Alfie,
06:59right, you can have steel drums playing these up Mother Brown as your wedding march.
07:02Now, Peter, I'm your best man.
07:04I should be overseeing all of this.
07:06Dad, you should be focusing on keeping mum in check
07:08and the efficient getting there on time.
07:10That's all you've got to worry about.
07:11Let's make this the last crisis to deal with today, okay?
07:14Let's make this the last crisis.
07:44Let's make this the last crisis.
08:15You've got Irish skin.
08:17Runs in the family.
08:19You used to burn under a 40-watt bowl.
08:22Have you thought of that?
08:24Oh, well, fact 50 in Mexico, I think I'll manage.
08:28If Lily's staying, how can you still go?
08:32She needs you.
08:34Charlie needs you.
08:36Hope and Arthur need their family.
08:37You promised you would never leave her again.
08:42Don't make the same mistake.
08:44Mum, making mistakes is what I do.
08:47All my life, nine times out of ten, I've made the wrong call.
08:50I can't get this one wrong.
08:52I left it too late with Martin for me, for the kids.
08:56Lily needs the best version of me.
08:58I can't be that walking past his stall every day.
09:01So, staying home with the people you love, who love you.
09:08How?
09:09How can that be a mistake?
09:12I need to go home.
09:29What?
09:29Why?
09:29I need my taxi.
09:31I want to send a picture of you on the bonnet for Cabina.
09:34Coach.
09:36Keys.
09:36I left my keys.
09:37Coach, Phil needs this done, mate.
09:39We need to get it up and running.
09:40I won't be long.
09:41I need your keys.
09:42You can't go home.
09:43I need to go home.
09:43You can't go home, Coach.
09:45Phil needs it done, so let's just get it done.
09:48Please.
10:01Call me when you get here, and I'll meet outside.
10:04Cheers.
10:05Right.
10:05Floris is on her way efficient, too, and decorations are ready to go.
10:09Yeah, second-hand decorations.
10:11Not second-hand.
10:12Pre-loved.
10:13Oh.
10:14Okay, Grant, all the food's sorted, right?
10:16Yeah, Bible's done.
10:17Picky bits ready.
10:18Oh, rabbit food, picky bits.
10:20This is a real wedding, okay?
10:22We have a reputation to uphold.
10:25Well, and if we don't end up in a mudfire or break up the reception,
10:28we're definitely full short.
10:30Can I play devil's advocate here?
10:31If we said no, would it matter?
10:34Look, I mean, piggy bits are lovely and decorations and everything,
10:38but are you sure she's going to want this?
10:42Mum, I've known Lauren since we were 14 years old.
10:45I know her better than anyone.
10:46This is exactly what she would want.
10:49I promise you.
10:50Right, we do have plenty of time until she's back from the spa,
10:53so come on, people, let's get to work.
10:55Woo, okay, come on.
11:00How come they shut down a whole spa because some silly cow overdid it in the sauna?
11:05Penny, the woman did pass out.
11:07She had more Botox than brain cells.
11:09Why should we suffer because of her fillers frying?
11:11Yeah, well, they did give us two day passes,
11:14so just stop complaining, yeah?
11:16Right, I'm going to give Peter a call, tell him I'm home.
11:18I might even be asked to get some of my ironing down
11:21before I've got to pick Louie at me.
11:22Oh, Louv Lauren is long gone.
11:26I used to struggle keeping up with you in Paris,
11:28and now look, you were given the day off of work and kids,
11:32one set back, and you were just running back to the housewife on John.
11:35Well, not today.
11:37Today, we are bringing old Lauren back.
11:44Come on.
11:46Come on.
11:47Come on.
11:49Come on.
11:51Well, but, quick, have you helped?
11:53Sorry, mate, I was just waiting for Nicole.
11:56Well, did you want an AJ, yeah?
11:59Oh, Toad.
12:00This is your dream come true, isn't it?
12:03Just shine.
12:06We need a shabby lever.
12:07Oh, yeah.
12:10Keeping my hands to myself has always been a bit of a problem, eh?
12:13You excited for the wedding, mate?
12:14Mm-hmm.
12:15I think I might wear trainers, so I win the bouquet toss.
12:18And have you been practising your two-step?
12:20I mean, I know Pete is a bill, but this is a night family wedding, too,
12:24and we like to dance.
12:25I do not dance.
12:27We need a new one.
12:28I'll go.
12:29No, no, Kojo, I'll go.
12:29Don't worry.
12:30No, Kojo, come on to the lift.
12:31No, Kojo's busy.
12:32Yeah, so are you.
12:33We've got to work out when you're going to pick me up later.
12:34And I've got some outfit selfies that you need to find on.
12:38Go on, Kojo, darling.
12:41Just straight to the stall and back here, Kojo.
12:44Kojo!
12:47You're running a very tight ship.
12:49Anyway, back to business.
12:50So, I've got a high neck and short.
12:55Yeah.
12:56Or low-cutting, man.
12:59Yeah, that one.
13:00That one.
13:04I know he owed you money.
13:06Okay, well, if you change your mind then.
13:08Hello?
13:11Uncle Sid?
13:13Oh, for God's sake.
13:15You all right, Kath?
13:17Well, I'm head cook and chief bottle washer for a last-minute wedding,
13:21so no, no, not really.
13:23Well, I'll top you.
13:24You could be selling a funeral for someone everybody hated.
13:26Well, er, Johnny is not helping you.
13:30Only you two seem a bit close.
13:32No, he's a good mate.
13:34Yeah, well, Callum, this square is like a fishbowl.
13:37And Ben's been a bit edgy recently,
13:40so just tread carefully, all right?
13:43You're a good boy.
13:44Going for a bit of a difficult time at the Moe,
13:46so don't make any harder on yourself.
14:00Could have changed my mind I was following.
14:03One hundred meters.
14:04I just wasn't gonna get this.
14:07Hello?
14:10Hello?
14:27Right, just because it's a mocktail doesn't mean you have to mock drink it.
14:47Penny, I've just got so much that I could be doing at home.
14:50Oh, you couldn't even give me an hour, could you?
14:53Just because I've got responsibilities now, it doesn't mean that...
14:56I'm not fun anymore, it just means I need a little bit more time to plan for.
15:00Oh, and what could be more fun than planning?
15:03You sound more like your fiancé every day.
15:06He's given you a case of belitis, and it's stage five.
15:11Oh, you was all right with him, weren't you?
15:13When he was paying for our spa day.
15:15Look, I know that Peter is not your cup of tea, but he's my cup of tea, so just back off.
15:21Sorry.
15:22I just...
15:24I just miss my mate.
15:27I don't know, I just...
15:29I used to love seeing you smiling and joking, and I...
15:33I just feel like I don't see that anymore.
15:36But you're right.
15:38You've got things to do, so...
15:40Come on.
15:49Right.
15:50Which one of those love island rejects are we going to get to buy us our next round then?
15:53Get back with me.
15:54Get back with me.
15:56Yeah!
15:57He's in Kojo anywhere.
15:58No.
15:59I'll let you know if I do see him though.
16:02If you don't like it, you just come on.
16:08I know.
16:09If you love it, then it's forever.
16:10How can it be forever if I ain't got Lily and Charlie with me?
16:13I mean, be honest.
16:14Do you actually think I'm going to be happy without them?
16:16Well, I think you owe it to yourself to try.
16:21Just talk to Jane.
16:22So you're going to be leaving us?
16:23Uh, sorry, didn't you leave for like 20 years?
16:24Look, all I've had since I've come back is how important family is.
16:28That we're sticking with it.
16:29Yeah.
16:30Yeah.
16:31Yeah.
16:32Yeah.
16:33Yeah.
16:34Yeah.
16:35Yeah.
16:36Yeah.
16:37Yeah.
16:38Yeah.
16:39Yeah.
16:40Yeah.
16:41Yeah.
16:42Yeah.
16:43Yeah.
16:44Yeah.
16:45Yeah.
16:46Yeah.
16:47Yeah.
16:48Yeah.
16:49Yeah.
16:50Yeah.
16:51Yeah.
16:52Yeah.
16:53It's a day, the day is that we're sticking together.
16:54Leaving Charlie and Lily, you can't do that.
16:57Stace, I spent 20 years with the sun at my back, trying to be happy.
17:01Away from my family.
17:03I left my kid.
17:04And it has taken me 20 years to realize that I need to be with my family, with my kid.
17:09That's what's going to make me happy.
17:11And you are the glue that sticks us all together.
17:14I'll see you at the Albert later to say goodbye, then, eh?
17:31What's wrong? What's wrong?
17:36They robbed him.
17:38Force cold, you're coming back home for his keys.
17:40You said you were coming straight back.
17:41He needs to go to hospital.
17:43Well, forget that.
17:44I ain't going waiting on no A&E.
17:46No, I'll sort it out, mate.
17:48Could you get some, eh, antiseptic from the chemist?
17:52Keep the pressure on it.
17:53That's what they say in films.
18:03Do you know how much this is going to cost us?
18:05We need to get out of here.
18:06We need to get Kojo safe.
18:07If they come back and he's here, they're coming back.
18:09Neither is our gear, is it?
18:10Well, they're not going to come back to the scene of the crime.
18:12One-on-one.
18:13You're so stupid.
18:14This is so stupid.
18:15It's done here now.
18:17They know where we are.
18:18It's finished.
18:19You're finished?
18:20When I say we are finished, do you understand?
18:22Now clean this place up before Kojo calls the police and let me think this through.
18:27All right?
18:29Now.
18:31Yeah, darling.
18:32Your dad was a mopey drunk.
18:37Thank God you got his genes and not your mum's.
18:41Huh?
18:42All right.
18:43What's the story, Jackanory?
18:44I've got to get to the wholesalers and make it quick.
18:48It's Callum.
18:49He's really struggling with this, this funeral.
18:51And it's because I lied to him.
18:52And it's because I lied to him.
18:53I...
18:54I...
18:55I...
18:56told him that his dad died.
18:57And it's because I lied to him.
18:58I...
18:59told him that his dad died.
19:00And it's because I lied to him.
19:02And it's Because I...
19:03I...
19:04That his dad said he loved him.
19:05When he was dying.
19:06Uh...
19:07I've got to get to the wholesalers, so make it quick.
19:08I've got to get to the wholesalers, so make it quick.
19:09It's Callum.
19:12He's...
19:13really struggling with this, this funeral.
19:18And it's because I lied to him.
19:20I...
19:24told him that his dad said he loved him.
19:27When he was dying.
19:30I just wanted to tell him something he wanted to hear, you know, and now he's just scrambling
19:36around trying to give him a good send off, it just breaks my heart.
19:44I need to tell him the truth.
19:47When you love someone, sometimes you do the wrong thing for the right reasons.
19:54Boy who grew up with a brute for a father, you had a gentleman, you gave him a bit of light
20:02to make his past seem a bit brighter, that is an act of love.
20:14Wow, you trying to upset the bride or what, you look gorgeous.
20:43You okay?
20:44Yeah.
20:45I was just really looking forward to today, just went to see Harry at work, and he's more
20:50interested in Kojo and the camp, and I was late.
20:54I just, I never know where I stand with him when I'm getting kind of tired of waiting to
20:58find out.
20:59If he's not standing by your side at that wedding, he's an idiot, and not worth waiting
21:04for.
21:05Three, two, one.
21:06Hooray!
21:07No.
21:08But it tastes like petrol.
21:09How do you know what petrol tastes like?
21:10They used to call me Siphon Moe.
21:11Now I'm sticking to vodka.
21:12Today I'm avoiding wedding preps and hangovers.
21:13Lightweight.
21:14I'm a bottle of wine down after being indoors.
21:18And if we're going to pour one for Stace, then it's got to be done properly, innit?
21:22I still can't believe Shane taking you with her.
21:23Do you know I'd rather be helping with the bill bash than sitting here putting on a face?
21:27If Peter's anything like his dad, their confetti is on elastic.
21:30Yeah, listen, right?
21:31Supporting faces all round.
21:32She's made our choice.
21:33He's made our choice.
21:34Here's your choice.
21:35Here's your choice.
21:36Here's your choice.
21:37Do you think I'd rather be helping with the bill bash than sitting here putting on a face?
21:42If Peter's anything like his dad, their confetti's on elastic.
21:47Yeah, listen, right? Supporting faces all round. She's made her choice.
21:51Here she is, Samba Slater. I ain't going, all right?
21:55Well, like, definitely. Like, you're not gonna flip-flop again.
22:00Do us a favour, go and get us a cocktail with an umbrella in it.
22:04It's the closest I'm gonna get to a carnival cocktail, isn't it?
22:08I'm so happy.
22:10Guilt troops do work. You are the glue, Stace.
22:17Are you sure, Mum? Yeah, sure as I'd ever be, babe.
22:23Well, you want shops?
22:26This is strong.
22:29We're running along in champagne flutes. Your boss said we could borrow some.
22:33Reluctantly.
22:38Damn.
22:40Scrub pretty well, don't I?
22:42Luckily, I'll have a sort on my omelette that will complete the fit.
22:47Remember, we are keeping things under wraps in front of this idea.
22:50Big boy.
22:51Oh, yeah. I know. Cindy Schminde.
22:53But if you are looking for a mummy mentor, you should find one that don't make Cruella look so Cinderella.
23:02Can I pull you for a jab?
23:12Oh, Samuel Robert Hyde. Entrepreneur.
23:15Or what, does posting to 200 TikTok followers count as an entrepreneur now?
23:19So you won't be calling in them?
23:22Better not.
23:23I'd probably end up drowning him in his cold plunge.
23:26See? That's my Lauren. I've missed you.
23:31Am I really that boring now?
23:33Oh, not now, no.
23:34A little break from Beale Burrow agrees with you, babe.
23:37Yeah.
23:40Speaking of Beales,
23:41are you going to tell him that you were my wingwoman today?
23:44No, I don't think he'd take it as well as I took his burlesque bestie.
23:49Yeah, if it was my bloke, I'd have choked her with her nipple tassels.
23:52But you're just not the journalist type.
23:55I mean, I have been.
23:57Just once or twice.
23:59Just not with the person you want to marry.
24:04I reckon me and Peter, we'll probably end up being one of them couples, you know,
24:07that just stay engaged forever.
24:09And I'm alright with that. It's just a piece of paper, innit?
24:12I mean, we're happy the way we are.
24:14Maybe it is a good thing.
24:16You know, you feel safer then.
24:18You don't feel like you need to fight women away.
24:20You don't need to get married.
24:23You're just comfortable.
24:25I don't know, I've just always thought you were more like me, I suppose.
24:27Well, what does that mean?
24:29You know, like, like somebody who likes the pot bubbling.
24:33Bit of excitement, bit of passion.
24:36Out all night, turning heads till three in the morning,
24:38not tucked up in bed by nine.
24:40But if you like a simmer these days, good for you.
24:44Makes life a lot easier.
24:46See, when I fall in love, though, like proper love,
24:48like, I want to feel jealous.
24:51Like, I want to, like, slam a ring on their finger
24:53and just, like, have them all to myself.
24:55That's love to me.
24:57But if that's not love to you, you're mine to judge.
25:02Right.
25:04Should we get you back to your real bliss then?
25:06Yeah?
25:08Should we just have one more?
25:09Should we be back lamenting?
25:11Would you be back to your wild ride?
25:12Should we take a break, like a cold, like a cold?
25:14What's the matter?
25:15How do we do this for you?
25:16Who's the best?
25:17That's why?
25:19It's a cold.
25:21Wait a minute.
25:24Did you get that quickly, bro?
25:26Wow.
25:30How did you get it?
25:32Oh, my goodness.
25:33Harry!
25:55Harry!
25:55Harry!
26:02Harry!
26:07No, you're joking.
26:09You ain't even ready. I've been waiting outside for you.
26:11Gee, I'm sorry. I'm just...
26:13Just give me five minutes.
26:15Don't bother.
26:17I ain't gonna wait for you anymore.
26:21No, gee.
26:25Are you sure you won't mind me tagging along?
26:35No, no, of course not. That'd be silly.
26:46Also this.
26:55Well, I'm running.
27:05Will you marry me?
27:07Today.
27:09let her fight by me.
27:21Good to see you next time.
27:23I'm dead.
27:25I am gonna die.
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