Delhi, Mumbai & Rich People _ Stand-up Comedy by Abhishek Upmanyu #gagster #standup #comedy #standupcomedy.hd

Yashraj Flims

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Transcript

00:00What's up?

00:01Are you big?

00:02I'm big.

00:03It looks like it.

00:04My name is Abhishek and I'm from Delhi.

00:07And...

00:09Hey, it is.

00:10I'm going to judge something now.

00:11So tell me...

00:13I'm a big guy.

00:15No, but I've recently moved to Mumbai.

00:17And I've realized that people in Mumbai

00:19are a bit nicer than people in Delhi, right?

00:23But this is a bit faster than people in Delhi.

00:25And I'm from Delhi, so I'm not used to the niceness.

00:30You know what I mean?

00:32I'm used to...

00:33Oy, panchod.

00:36They will kill you.

00:38I'm like...

00:40I'm like...

00:41How are you going to take me to the metro?

00:48So I'm trained in Delhi.

00:49So I'm always attacking my impersonation.

00:52I mean...

00:53I'm like...

00:54If someone is attacking me,

00:55I'm going to take me too.

00:56But nobody needs to be in Mumbai.

00:58So I was going to the local train in Mumbai.

01:01And I was like...

01:02A little...

01:03A little...

01:04A little...

01:05I said...

01:06Sorry, brother.

01:07I said...

01:15I said...

01:16Sorry?

01:18I said...

01:19I didn't answer that.

01:20I said...

01:21You know...

01:22I realized...

01:23When the other person apologizes...

01:25Your ego goes away.

01:26Like...

01:27You go into self-analysis.

01:28I was like...

01:29I was like...

01:30I was like...

01:31I was like...

01:32I was like...

01:33I was like...

01:34I was like...

01:35I was like...

01:36I was like...

01:37Excuse me, brother.

01:38It was my fault.

01:39I'm sorry, brother.

01:40I was like...

01:41I was like...

01:42I said...

01:43I said...

01:44Thank you, brother.

01:46So...

01:47I became a very nice moment...

01:48I was like...

01:49So...

01:50I got a kiss from them.

01:56When I came to Mumbai...

01:57I had kissed 40 uncles.

02:02And...

02:03I ate 15 women.

02:06The uncles didn't ask me...

02:07What do I do?

02:08I was like, I was like, I had to go to Nasik once, and I didn't know how to go there, so I was taking a flight till Bombay.

02:18And there was a girl sitting next to me. I was like, I'll ask her.

02:22I was like, I'm going to talk to her.

02:24I was like, I don't want to talk to her.

02:28So I was like, excuse me, are you from Bombay?

02:31I was like, no, I'm from South Bombay.

02:38Okay.

02:40Okay.

02:41How do you get to Nasik? It's simple.

02:43You get off at the airport and take a cab till Nasik.

02:48What's this solution?

02:52I don't know about New York.

03:01See, she's from South Bombay, so I can't blame her completely.

03:04No, because she has no idea about problems like lack of money.

03:11Because she just assumes that there will be money for her.

03:14They have money for everyone.

03:16Maybe she doesn't know her cabs.

03:20The cabs do.

03:26I think this is a problem in general.

03:28I think they don't have money for others.

03:32It happens all the time.

03:34Like, we've seen a movie,

03:35and we didn't get a life again.

03:37What was the point of that movie?

03:38Zoe Axton had this point.

03:39She was like,

03:40I don't get a life again.

03:41So I'll live.

03:42So I'll do this.

03:43So I'll do this.

03:44We said, what will I do?

03:45Go to Spain.

03:47We said, go to Spain.

03:48Go to parties.

03:49Don't play in hotels.

03:50We said, but there's no money.

03:51Yes, I'll go.

03:52Yes, I'll go.

03:53No money.

03:58But the whole problem is the whole problem.

04:01What do you think?

04:02Do we have any idea of the Europe to go?

04:05Which big insight offer is the Europe to go and go and go?

04:11And you know, this is Bombay,

04:12I started to see the garbage here.

04:13I was like, Delhi is also garbage,

04:14but you don't see there.

04:15There are a lot of people here.

04:16There are a lot of people here.

04:19So I live in Mahim.

04:20There are all the people sitting there.

04:22I said,

04:23who is the house,

04:24they are also sleeping on the bed.

04:25I said,

04:27I said,

04:28I'm late to you.

04:29I'm like,

04:30I'm like,

04:31I'm like,

04:32I'm like,

04:33I'm like,

04:34why don't you help them?

04:35So many people sleeping on the bed.

04:36And then I realized,

04:37I didn't help too.

04:38Like the only time I've helped poor people is,

04:40when someone's dead in my house.

04:42Because then my mom used to go,

04:43I said,

04:44I said,

04:45I said,

04:46I said,

04:47I said,

04:48I said,

04:49I said,

04:50I'm like,

04:51I don't need to be a good person.

04:53And please,

04:54don't promote behavior like this.

04:55If you know the poor people,

04:57that,

04:58that,

04:59that,

05:00that,

05:01that,

05:02that,

05:03that,

05:04that,

05:05that,

05:06that,

05:07that,

05:08that,

05:09that,

05:10that,

05:11teacher,

05:12I'm gonna say,

05:13okay,

05:14I'm gonna say my mother is going to kill us.

05:15You're gonna get my pizza.

05:17What?

05:18Well,

05:19that,

05:20that,

05:21that,

05:22that,

05:23that,

05:24that,

05:25that,

05:26that,

05:27that,

05:28that,

05:29that,

05:30that,

05:31that,

05:32that,

05:33that,

05:34that,

05:35that,

05:36that,

05:37that,

05:38that,

05:39that,

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