00:00Everybody's getting hit with these blue shells.
00:02Where are these blue shells coming from?
00:04You know what I say?
00:05No more blue shells on the races.
00:07People deserve to be in first place.
00:09With me, I'll make sure you finish in first place.
00:14Excuse me, excuse me.
00:15What do you do for work?
00:16I am a video game attorney.
00:18Who are some of your clients?
00:20I've represented everyone throughout the Mushroom Kingdom.
00:23Princess Peach, Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, Bowser a number of times.
00:28There's no one I can't represent and get off.
00:31Where did you go to law school?
00:32Listen, I'm just a simple Mushroom Kingdom attorney.
00:35It's not important where I went to law school.
00:37It's what I can do for you as my client.
00:39I can get you off any case, whether it's vehicular mayhem,
00:43whether it is possession of shells and bananas.
00:45I can get you out of court, no problem.
00:47Any cases that you've won that are worth noting?
00:50You know, quite frankly, I was the one that was able to get Bowser released
00:53with absolutely no jail time.
00:56That's right.
00:57We got him out on probation, no problem whatsoever,
01:00and he is a model citizen now.
01:03Any cases that you lost that you should have won?
01:05I haven't lost any cases.
01:07We win 99% of our cases, and the 1% we don't, that's where we settle.
01:11And when we settle, you win.
01:14How do you bill your clients?
01:15We make accommodations for any type of client.
01:18Whether or not you have coins, whether or not you have rubies,
01:20we'll take stars.
01:21Whatever you have, we'll take them.
01:23Puzzle pieces, if you're a banjo and kazooie, we can take it.
01:26Now, what can you do for clients who have been injured on Rainbow Road?
01:29Everybody's getting hit with these blue shells.
01:31Where are these blue shells coming from?
01:33You know what I say?
01:34No more blue shells on the races.
01:36It's completely inappropriate because people deserve to be in first place.
01:40With me, I'll make sure you finish exactly where you need to be,
01:44exactly in first place.
01:46Is it a problem that some games make us think we can do unrealistic things like stealing a car in GTA?
01:51Quite frankly, you can steal a car anytime.
01:53Anybody can steal a car.
01:54And, quite frankly, learn how to get away with it.
01:57Now, I'm not saying as an attorney I condone stealing cars,
02:02but if you're going to do it, it's better to practice beforehand.
02:04Now, what legal course of action can I take if I choose Kirby in Super Smash,
02:08and then my friend also chooses Kirby?
02:10You contact our offices, we will get a legal injunction imposed immediately.
02:14They're never going to be able to be Kirby again in this lifetime once we get done with them.
02:19All right, what do you got going on for the rest of the day?
02:21I don't usually talk about my clients, but we're handling Ms. Pac-Man's divorce.
02:26Bye!
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