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Towards Etirnity
 Assalamu Alaikum brothers and sisters, In today's video we asked some questions about Marriage. Don't forget to Like and comment. Enjoy Watching..
 Intro
 The essentials in a family
 Why do spouses become distant
 Bringing up past events - The nature of men and women
 Meeting before marriage
 How to spend the engagement period?
 Will the bad habits of my fiance change after marriage?
 Sometimes in marriage a very small problem turns into something big
 How to solve problems during the time of crisis?
 Achieving anger management
 Issues with in-laws
 Stuck between my wife and my mother
 Ending an unhappy marriage or showing patience?
 Staying married just for the sake of children
#SaveYears #MentalHealthTips #MarriageAdvice #RelationshipWisdom #BeforeYouMarry #MentalWellness #TimeSavingTips #HealthyRelationships #SelfCareJourney #MarriagePlanning #EmotionalWellbeing #PreMarriageTips #CouplesTherapy #MindfulRelationships #MentalHealthMatters #LoveUltimately #RelationshipSuccess #HealthyMindset #MarriageGoals #SmartDecisions

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Transcript
00:00Why do women never forget an event and keep bringing it up again and again?
00:05I guarantee you that if you apply this method,
00:07your wife will never mention the past incidents again.
00:11How should we spend our engagement period to have a good marriage life?
00:15Will my fiance change after we get married?
00:18Then the man gets angry and punches the table.
00:21Because engagement is actually a trailer of the marriage.
00:24Rules are broken, feelings are expressed too much,
00:27personal boundaries are crossed, they become too intimate with each other.
00:31If there's a problem, solve it first and then get married.
00:34If you cannot manage it properly, it can burn down your entire house.
00:42Brother Ahmet, welcome again towards eternity.
00:45Today we have prepared some very interesting but at the same time
00:48difficult questions for you about marriage, communication between spouses and family.
00:53We want clear, clarifying and convincing answers from you.
00:57If you're ready, let's begin.
00:59My first question is, what are the essentials in a family?
01:02Let me list them like this. Trust, respect and love.
01:06Actually, these words have lost their weight a little bit in our everyday language.
01:10First, you need to trust. But what do we mean by this?
01:13We can think of trust as a table, respect as the glass on the table,
01:16and love as the water in that glass.
01:18So, love is the fruit of respect and trust.
01:21If there's no mutual trust and respect in a marriage, there cannot be love.
01:24Because love is the result of those two.
01:26Is being in love necessary when you're getting married?
01:28No, it's not. Warming up to each other emotionally is enough.
01:31Because if you build a healthy relationship, love, which is the fruit of it, will come out naturally.
01:36That's why there's no need for you to condition yourself and say,
01:39I must be in love to get married.
01:40In fact, at some points, being in love can even prevent you from seeing reality.
01:45In such cases of intense love, when the marriage takes place, it can even harm the marriage.
01:50So, love is not something you need in the first place to get married,
01:53but rather a result of a healthy relationship.
01:55But then, what is trust?
01:57Trust is something you feel as a result of thoughts like,
02:00I can make a lifelong journey with this person.
02:02He or she will always be with me.
02:04Thoughts that make you not worry about the future.
02:06Why do spouses become distant from each other?
02:08Isn't it possible to maintain love like it was at the beginning of the marriage?
02:12That's a great question. Let's think of it this way.
02:15Imagine you have a close friend. If your friendship is strong, would it suddenly break down?
02:19It wouldn't, right?
02:20So, what could cause this to happen?
02:21For example, it can break down when you face a problem.
02:24If you hurt each other's feelings, it can damage the emotional bond between you,
02:28which can then harm your friendship and eventually lead to its end.
02:31Or if you don't do anything to keep your friendship alive,
02:33over time, you may become distant from each other.
02:36The same applies to marriages as well.
02:38If you let your marriage go on its own, it will always go in a negative direction.
02:42So, what do I mean by letting the marriage go on its own?
02:45For example, if you don't spend time with your spouse,
02:47if you don't have nice conversations with each other,
02:49if the husband is work-oriented and the wife is children-oriented,
02:53if you're living separate lives, this means your marriage is on autopilot.
02:56In other words, no one is making any investment in marriage.
03:00And on top of that, in such couples, we generally see that there is constant fighting,
03:04hurtful behavior, criticism, defending against accusations, and humiliation.
03:09Needless to say, these are the things that harm the very foundation of a marriage.
03:12And because the foundations are now damaged, unity and togetherness become corrupted.
03:17And the bonds between them get damaged.
03:19And eventually, both sides start to become distant from each other.
03:22As I mentioned earlier, love is the fruit of a healthy relationship.
03:25So naturally, when there is an unhealthy relationship, we cannot talk about love.
03:29That's why there is no such thing as marriage kills love.
03:32Love dies because of not having a quality marriage.
03:35So to sum up, I can tell you this.
03:37Marriage doesn't kill love. A low-quality marriage kills love.
03:41There is a question that usually comes from men, brother.
03:43Why do women never forget an event and keep bringing it up again and again?
03:48Actually, this is asked because of not knowing the nature of men and women.
03:51Since women are more emotional compared to men, they get affected by past incidents more.
03:56Just as our fingers can get hurt easily, their feelings can get hurt in the same way.
04:00If you don't solve the issue that upset her in the first place,
04:03it turns into a kind of disorder for women.
04:05And from time to time, when something triggers that bad memory in her mind, she feels pain.
04:10And as she feels pain, she starts reacting against her husband.
04:13In a moment when both of them are very happy, the past incident can suddenly come up in a conversation.
04:18Because something happened there that triggered that feeling.
04:21Men need to be aware of this.
04:22Saying, I apologize, doesn't completely fix the issue.
04:25You have hurt your wife's feelings.
04:27Maybe you have made her feel insignificant.
04:29And after all this, you cannot get out of the situation by just saying,
04:33All that is in the past, what can we do now?
04:35Actually, there is a very simple method to resolve this issue.
04:38I guarantee you that if you apply this method, your wife will never mention the past incidents again.
04:44So, what is this method?
04:45Now, when your wife comes and tells you about the incident that upset her in the past, you must listen.
04:50She might get emotional while talking about that.
04:52Maybe she will shed a few tears.
04:54Then, what you should do is apologize.
04:57You should say,
04:57You're right, my dear.
04:58I'm sorry.
04:59I shouldn't have done that.
05:00At that moment, she will feel understood and think,
05:03Yes, my husband had treated me unfairly, but now he realizes it.
05:07And she won't bring that up again.
05:09But sometimes, men's approach is not in that manner.
05:12By saying things like,
05:13There's nothing we can do.
05:14This is in the past.
05:15Why go back 20 years?
05:16You're actually hurting your wife even more.
05:19Her heart has already been broken by what happened in the past.
05:22Why do you make it worse?
05:23What you need to do is,
05:24Let her share her feelings with you,
05:26Listen,
05:27And try to empathize with her.
05:28Now you can ask,
05:29Why doesn't this happen with men?
05:31Because men tend to be more rational in their approach to situations.
05:35In other words,
05:35They build walls so that they are not deeply affected by the events.
05:39Because they are more engaged with the outside world,
05:41They need to be strong.
05:42They need to be tough.
05:43On the other hand,
05:44A mother is busy with her baby.
05:46Busy with her child.
05:47And the person who will take care of a baby must be very sensitive.
05:50She needs to be very understanding of the child's feelings.
05:53She should be loving and caring to be able to get up at night when the child cries.
05:58So, such a sensitive woman is vulnerable.
06:00Your words can easily hurt her.
06:02On the other hand,
06:03A man can build a wall and keep his emotions inside.
06:06But of course, there may also be events that men don't forget as well.
06:10During the process of meeting before marriage,
06:12Wouldn't it be better if there were no privacy boundaries,
06:14Or that couples could get to know each other better?
06:17Isn't it better for them to be closer?
06:19The answer is no.
06:20There are no scientific findings on this claim.
06:22Have you ever heard such a thing as,
06:24Two people need to shake hands to get to know each other better.
06:26Or,
06:27You must hug the other person to really know him or her.
06:29There's no need for this.
06:30This doesn't mean,
06:31Don't ever meet with the spouse candidate.
06:33Meeting is a disaster.
06:34No.
06:35If it were like this,
06:36You would end up marrying a person you don't know at all.
06:38You should definitely meet before marriage.
06:40For example,
06:41You can meet each other in public places with a third person one or both of you know.
06:45You can eat a meal, drink tea or coffee.
06:47While being mindful of boundaries,
06:49You can ask questions, try to get to know each other.
06:52You can also talk and get information from other people who know that person.
06:56During this period,
06:57Spouse candidates should try to analyze each other's manners, behaviors and words.
07:02So how can this be done?
07:03I'll give you an example.
07:04Imagine man and woman meet in a restaurant.
07:06Not just the two of them of course, with the third person.
07:08They order a meal, but the waiter brings the food a bit late.
07:11Then the man gets angry and punches the table.
07:14What the woman should realize here is that,
07:16When things go wrong or in times of crisis,
07:18The reaction of this person is anger and violence.
07:21You can understand that with such a small incident.
07:24But you cannot catch it just by talking.
07:26Because people's true identities and personalities
07:28come out in times of problems and crisis.
07:30At such moments, consciousness gets out of the way
07:33and our subconscious problem-solving methods come out.
07:36But if you only focus on having fun,
07:38and always try to see the other person's positive sides,
07:41you won't be able to see the natural state of that person.
07:43Therefore, it's beneficial to meet with the spouse candidate from time to time.
07:47to observe their behavior along with our own behaviors.
07:50There's another question from our single brothers and sisters.
07:53They ask,
07:54How should we spend our engagement period to have a good marriage life?
07:57This is a very important question.
07:59Because engagement is actually a trailer of the marriage.
08:01Because in that period,
08:02you're going to witness almost everything you will experience in marriage.
08:06However, many people tend to ignore the warning signs
08:08and the negative traits in their fiancés,
08:10believing that they can change them in the future.
08:13And postponing to solve the problems in this way,
08:15leads to even more complications after marriage.
08:18Engagement is the time to get to know and understand each other.
08:21But it's not marriage.
08:22For some couples, we cannot tell if they are engaged or married.
08:25Rules are broken.
08:26Feelings are expressed too much.
08:28Personal boundaries are crossed.
08:30They become too intimate with each other.
08:31In addition to all this,
08:32sometimes it doesn't seem like the engagement will turn into a marriage.
08:36So at that point, they need to end the relationship.
08:39But they cannot do so because
08:40they are now emotionally very attached to each other.
08:42It's really hard to break up now.
08:44This happened because in the engagement period,
08:46they didn't pay attention to privacy boundaries.
08:49And they acted as if they were already married.
08:51We have another interesting question here.
08:53There are some bad habits of my fiancé.
08:55Is he going to change when we get married?
08:57You want to know the real answer?
08:59No, they won't change.
09:00This is wishful thinking.
09:02There's a problem at hand, but you're not addressing it.
09:04You're not doing anything to solve it.
09:06You're just leaving it as it is.
09:08All you're doing is to say, he or she will change once we get married.
09:11How do you think your fiancé will change?
09:13Whatever you're going to do after marriage, do it now.
09:16I mean, during the engagement period.
09:18See if he or she gets better or not.
09:20If you have a problem about something, discuss it now.
09:22If you need to go to a family counsellor, just go.
09:25Why should he or she change for the better once you're married?
09:28There's no logical explanation for this idea.
09:30In fact, contrary to expectations, things can get more complicated after marriage.
09:34There's a saying, marriage kills love.
09:36That's because during the engagement period, there's a longing, a desire,
09:40an expectation to finally get married.
09:42These positive factors keep the relationship alive and strong.
09:45And after getting married, this longing becomes fulfilled.
09:48So as these few positive elements start to disappear, problems start to come to the surface.
09:53So there's no logic in the statement, he or she will change once we're married.
09:57If there's a problem, solve it first and then get married.
10:00Sometimes I see people come with a similar question.
10:02They say, if you were to have a child, would our problems be resolved?
10:06No, they wouldn't.
10:06There's no truth to this.
10:08It's not based on any research.
10:10In marriage, sometimes a very small problem can grow like a spark
10:13and turn into something very bad if it's not taken care of.
10:16Have you ever witnessed such an incident?
10:18Yeah, there's a very interesting story I heard from one of my friends.
10:21There's a couple who is living in a small town in Turkey.
10:23On the morning of Eid, the wife is preparing breakfast.
10:26She boils eggs for her husband and the man is sitting at the table.
10:29At that moment, their child starts crying.
10:31The wife has to take care of the child now.
10:33So she turns off the stove.
10:35By that time, the eggs have been boiling for 3 minutes,
10:37but they should be boiled for 4 minutes.
10:39They had decided to cook them like this.
10:41They think eggs are healthier and cook better that way.
10:43Anyway, the wife calms the child and gets back.
10:45She sets the table and serves her husband the eggs.
10:48And she says,
10:49Darling, the eggs were boiled for 3 minutes, just so you know.
10:51Husband replies,
10:52And why don't you complete it to 4 minutes?
10:54And the wife says,
10:55I'm going to go back and take care of the child now.
10:57Do it yourself.
10:58And he says,
10:59Whatever, don't do it then.
11:00And the wife says something offensive to her husband.
11:02Husband gets up and asks,
11:04How dare you say that?
11:05I'll go now and file for a divorce.
11:07I will divorce you.
11:08Then he leaves the house.
11:09But the husband suddenly remembers that it was Eid that day.
11:12He asks himself where he would go.
11:14So he goes back home.
11:15And because he is still angry,
11:17he tells his wife that he won't divorce her,
11:19but instead he will make her suffer.
11:21Then he slams the door and leaves again.
11:23All of this happened because he couldn't manage this crisis.
11:25The story continues.
11:26Then the husband comes home in the evening.
11:28He rings the bell.
11:29No answer.
11:30No one opens the door.
11:31So he opens it with his key.
11:33And he enters the house and finds no one there.
11:35He goes to the living room and sees that half of the curtains have been cut off.
11:39He checks each room and all the curtains have been cut in half.
11:42Then he goes to the bedroom and looks in the wardrobe.
11:45And all the clothes have been cut in half again.
11:47He then finds a note from his wife that says,
11:50We have left.
11:50That's all.
11:51Shortly after, he finds out that his wife took the children and went to her parents' house.
11:55She stays there for 5-6 months and they don't come together during that period.
11:59Eventually, their friends get involved in this situation.
12:02Then the couple is advised to go to a family counselor.
12:05And the problem gets solved.
12:06But of course, some costs were spent.
12:08Here's my takeaway from this story.
12:10Even if you have a little spark, a very small issue, whether you're right or wrong,
12:14don't let it grow.
12:15If you cannot manage it properly, it can burn down your entire house.
12:19In the scene where the wife boiled the eggs for 3 minutes,
12:22if the husband had taken over to cook or if the wife hadn't said something offensive to him,
12:26things wouldn't have come this far.
12:27As Umar said,
12:29When your spouse is angry, you should be calm.
12:31When one is fire, the other should be water.
12:34So then, how can we solve problems in families in times of crisis?
12:38I'm going to make a very assertive statement here.
12:40In marriages, if the problems end, love ends too.
12:43Because when we look at it,
12:45we actually grow the love between our spouses through solving our problems together.
12:49We can think of spouses as a key and a lock.
12:51Just like a key and a lock need to fill each others,
12:54what I mean here is, of course our spouses will have flaws and imperfections.
12:57But if I can complete my spouse rather than being hurtful, then I can win her heart.
13:01Let's give a small example.
13:03Let's say my wife dropped a plate and broke it.
13:05This is a problem.
13:06She exhibited a flaw, a gap in a way.
13:08If I approach my wife with insults at this point,
13:11I'll break her heart and damage the love between us.
13:13But if I approach her in a kind manner and say,
13:15Honey, no problem.
13:16You're okay, right?
13:17Then I would have worn her heart through this problem.
13:20In fact, in the Quran, in Surat Al-Baqarah, Allah says,
13:23Your spouses are a garment for you, as you are for them.
13:26By saying this, Allah guides us on how we should behave towards our spouses.
13:30On the contrary, if you constantly take a blaming attitude for every mistake she makes,
13:35it can cause deeper wounds, because she already feels incomplete at that moment.
13:39Let me give you an interesting analogy.
13:41Depending on our choices, problems can either turn into an atomic bomb or nuclear energy.
13:47Because in both cases, the energy emerges from the splitting of an atomic nucleus.
13:51If you split the atomic nuclei randomly, it becomes an atomic bomb.
13:55But if you split them in a controlled way, you can get nuclear energy,
13:59which can provide you beneficial things like electricity, light, and energy.
14:03Just like this, if you address problems in a controlled manner,
14:06love and sympathy will emerge, and you will benefit from that.
14:09But if you approach a problem randomly,
14:11you can turn it into an atomic bomb that destroys your marriage.
14:14In other words, it's your approach that determines how things will go.
14:18There's another question.
14:19How is anger management achieved?
14:21If one of the spouses is abusive towards the other, how can this be stopped?
14:25Honestly, I've learned from my experience that almost all the sparks are actually caused by
14:29anger in men and untimely and inappropriate speaking in women.
14:34What needs to be done here is that men should work on their anger management,
14:37and women should learn to speak at the right time and right place.
14:41Meaning, she will pay attention to her speech.
14:43Anger management is a whole issue on its own.
14:46I mean, if a man or a woman cannot control their anger, it's their personal problem.
14:50They should work on understanding the reasons for their anger.
14:52But when they become angry, the most basic thing to do is to stop talking for a while.
14:57Don't react and talk in the heat of the moment. Just wait.
15:00After some time, when you have calmed down, you can talk.
15:02Because when you're angry, your common sense gets out of the picture and anger takes control of you.
15:08And you lose your ability to think logically and evaluate the situation clearly.
15:12Wait for some time to calm down. Go outside, make voodoo, move to a different room, lie down.
15:17In other words, change your physical and spiritual environment.
15:20After a while, you will also realize that you weren't thinking logically at that moment.
15:24There's a problem that happens very often.
15:26People say, I have issues with my in-laws.
15:28Is there a reason for divorce? What should I do?
15:31Yeah, in-laws. Big issue in marriages.
15:34Now let's get to this topic.
15:35Many marriages are actually ruined because of this.
15:37A mother doesn't want to let go of her son and constantly holds onto him from behind with
15:42both hands even after he gets married.
15:44Or a mother who married off her daughter keeps calling her all the time.
15:48She asks for a daily report from her, as if she's trying to control her with a remote controller.
15:52These are huge problems.
15:54Interventions from the outside can seriously damage marriages.
15:57That's why I would like to emphasize this and call out to all mothers and fathers who married off their
16:02children. Whether you're a mother or a father, if you intervene in your children's marriage,
16:06you will cause harm. Let them solve their problems on their own.
16:10Additionally, I want to talk about the responsibility of the husband.
16:12If there are problems going on between his family and his wife,
16:15it's the husband himself who should solve the problems.
16:18I'll give you a method based on years of experience.
16:21If a husband is caught in the middle between his parents and his wife,
16:24his method should be this.
16:25To try to solve their problems, he must work with his wife shoulder to shoulder.
16:29They should even try to solve the problems about the husband's parents.
16:32But on the contrary, if he collaborates with his parents to solve the problems
16:36about his wife, because the husband's parents are already exhausted from raising him.
16:41They raised you.
16:42They made the effort.
16:43They are already stressed.
16:44When you complain to your parents about your wife and say,
16:46she does this, she doesn't do that, she doesn't cook, etc.,
16:50you make your parents worry.
16:51They start to fear now.
16:52They might say,
16:53what has become of our child that we raised with such care and affection?
16:56And they might take a stand against your spouse.
16:59For this reason, we strongly advise the husband not to tell his parents
17:03the private matters between him and his wife.
17:05But at the same time, he shouldn't say overly positive things about her to them either.
17:09He shouldn't say,
17:10mom, my wife cooks so well that I learned what good food means from her.
17:14Don't do this either.
17:15You will make your mother jealous.
17:17There is no need for that.
17:18In short, I can say this.
17:19The husband will not share his wife's private matters with his family.
17:23He will take a stance.
17:24And that stance will solve the problems.
17:26But wouldn't mothers object to this and say,
17:28why should my son cooperate with his wife instead of us?
17:31And also men can ask,
17:33what should I do when I'm stuck between my wife and my mother?
17:36These are very good questions.
17:37We should try to understand the situation of the mother here.
17:40Because it's not easy for her either.
17:42You give birth to your son.
17:43You raise him.
17:44Always make him your priority.
17:45Take care of him more than yourself.
17:47But just as he reaches the age of productivity,
17:49he moves away from you and begins to live with another woman, his wife.
17:53Yes, the mother gave birth to him.
17:55Raised him.
17:55But she must understand her son's situation now.
17:57She shouldn't make things hard for him.
17:59And as for the son, he should always be thankful and respectful to his mother.
18:03But since he is with his wife now, he should hold her tightly.
18:07He should always stand shoulder to shoulder with his wife.
18:09Problems can only be overcome in this way.
18:12Since they have started a family, the person he should cooperate with is his wife.
18:16And the person he should try to understand is his mother.
18:19Not the other way around.
18:20The man shouldn't confuse the roles of the two.
18:22Let me give an example of the right attitude.
18:24Imagine that the husband's mother yells at the wife.
18:26Then he says to his wife, Honey, I noticed that my mother raised her voice at you the other day.
18:31I apologize on her behalf.
18:32You know, as she is getting older, she has started reacting like this.
18:35Please forgive her.
18:36By talking with his wife in this manner, he can overcome the issue.
18:39But if the husband cooperates with his mother and say,
18:42Mom, my wife did this and did that, then the mother will get involved in the process.
18:46And then the father will get involved.
18:47And maybe third and fourth people will start to intervene in this situation.
18:51Other relatives will also learn about that issue of the wife.
18:54And as a result, this will lead the whole family to an extremely uncomfortable scenario.
18:58The couple end their marriage because they are not happy?
19:01Or should they show patience and continue to stay married thinking that it's a test from Allah?
19:06First of all, the reasons that make the marriage unhappy should be identified.
19:09For example, when we listen to the couple, we might hear them saying,
19:13I did my best, but it didn't work out.
19:15From their perspective, it looks like everything necessary has been done to save the marriage.
19:19But the real question is, were the things you did to save your marriage actually right?
19:23Think about it.
19:24Even when a person has brain death, we cannot be completely sure that he is really dead or not.
19:28We consult a doctor for this.
19:30Because they are experts and they can tell us if the person is dead or not.
19:33But in marriage, we see that the spouses decide on their own whether they should end the relationship
19:38or not.
19:38They say, this marriage is over, let's get divorced.
19:41According to whom and based on what?
19:43In such a situation, couples must seek the assistance of an expert.
19:47As foreseeing this as a test from Allah, I want to say this.
19:50Now, let's say a couple has consulted an expert about their marriage,
19:53which is on the very edge of ending.
19:54And the expert thinks that their marriage has emotionally ended.
19:57But the man says, this is my test.
19:59I want to continue to stay married.
20:01Okay, as you wish, go on.
20:02But then we see that neither side is doing anything to solve their problems.
20:06What does a test mean?
20:07It means, this is the exam I will take and I can answer these questions.
20:11But is it possible for you to answer the questions without doing anything?
20:14No.
20:15You say, this is my test.
20:17But you don't study for it.
20:18Nor do you make any effort to answer the questions.
20:20You are still avoiding the problem.
20:21You run away from home.
20:22You still act indifferent and insensitive.
20:25You don't bring any reasonable solutions to your problems with each other.
20:28Yet you say, this is my test.
20:30Nowhere in the world can you pass an exam by doing nothing.
20:33You will fail.
20:33If you accept that it's a test, you need to act accordingly.
20:37You need to take a problem-solving approach.
20:39And to achieve that, you need to try and struggle.
20:42Is it right to continue to stay married just for the sake of the children?
20:45I mean, is it right to be patient and put up with it?
20:48Should this be done for children?
20:50Based on my experience, I think that a marriage that continues only for the sake of children
20:54will harm the children even more.
20:56You can imagine the situation of a child growing up in a chaotic family environment
20:59where there is constant fighting, conflicts and negligence.
21:02Spouses are trying to continue their marriage thinking that
21:05we can take care of them better as a couple or the children should not get harmed.
21:09But as they do that, they are turning their home into a hell.
21:12There shouldn't be such a marriage.
21:14Besides, if the spouses are not happy, the children won't be happy either.
21:18Imagine there's a tree that is rotting.
21:20Both the tree and the soil beneath it are in a very bad condition.
21:24But you're only focused on whether the tree gives good fruit or not.
21:28Without watering and feeding the soil, without removing the weeds,
21:31without taking care of the tree, the fruit will not grow and mature.
21:35Just like that, there cannot be a situation where the mother and father are unhappy,
21:39but the children are happy.
21:40This cannot be.
21:41But if the husband wants to repair the relationship with his wife,
21:44or the wife wants to solve the problems with her husband,
21:46then they can try to save the marriage and stay together with their children.
21:50I'm not saying that they should definitely divorce, but at least I can say this.
21:53A marriage that continues only for the sake of the children is not good.
21:57It's even harmful for the children.

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