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Gogglebox Ireland Season 11 Episode 2

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Transcript
00:00I just want to know...
00:02who's the culprit that keeps using my couches as a bin?
00:05Oh...
00:07Oh...
00:09But if they're not salt and vinegar, they're not mine.
00:12I guarantee you that.
00:14It's either you or you. No, no, no, that's him.
00:16That's him. Onion rings. Really?
00:18When did you ever see me eating onion rings?
00:20Roo on the sides of them yolks there, then.
00:22See, see, see, can we find that?
00:24Usually he does the, eh, chocolate wrappers.
00:28And he blames you.
00:30There you go!
00:32Oh!
00:34Uh-oh!
00:36See, did what?
00:38It's finished.
00:40Is it?
00:42It's that!
00:44Oh, my God, I want to die for him!
00:46Ew!
00:48Oh!
00:50No, no, no!
00:52Guys, that's Christy, don't give you any war on him.
00:54A wooga play.
00:56I need a cup of tea after that.
01:04In the week when Conor McGregor decided he wouldn't be our next president after all,
01:09we watched loads of great telly.
01:12RTE1 got us reacquainted with Flatley and his flute.
01:20Is he still going?
01:21Oh, no, that's going on too long.
01:22Sorry, Michael, I love you, but Jesus Christ.
01:25Throw the water on him, Patrick.
01:27Virgin Media 2 had us all feeling a little squeamish.
01:31It's more neither.
01:32I, for one, am fascinated to see how this works.
01:35Oh, my.
01:36That's longer than his Johnson.
01:37Jesus.
01:38This is like when I got me and grown tall nail taken out.
01:40Yeah, I don't think that and your bleeding willy is the same kind of thing.
01:43And Netflix had us breaking bread with royalty.
01:46Looks nice to be fair.
01:47Yeah, it says it does.
01:48She didn't make it.
01:49I don't believe a word of it.
01:50She's what the fuck would she know about cooking?
01:51In Kilkenny,
02:06Meet Katie, her boyfriend Jack, and the rest of the Saunders family.
02:12Happy birthday, dear love of my life.
02:19For fuck's sake.
02:20Say happy birthday to you.
02:24Hip, hip.
02:25Hooray.
02:26Hip, hip.
02:27Hooray.
02:28Hey.
02:29Wait, wait, wait.
02:30Bobby, come here.
02:31Bobby.
02:32Bobby, come here.
02:33Bobby, what have you got to say?
02:34What have you got to say?
02:35We'll give you something.
02:36Happy birthday, brother.
02:37Hey.
02:38Thanks, Bob.
02:39On Tuesday, RTE1 brought us more mystery and intrigue from Slain Castle.
02:46Previously on The Traitors.
02:48Oh.
02:49Oh, shut up.
02:50My show is on.
02:51Best thing on TV.
02:52No, Anita, I must be the only one in Ireland that hasn't been watching this.
02:56This is The Traitors.
02:59Right, you know that game?
03:01You know that one where you don't know who the killers are?
03:03Mm.
03:04Well, it's like that.
03:05Cluedo.
03:06Yeah.
03:07You watch the nation's newest style icon deliver the latest shocking twist in the game.
03:12The Traitors murdered in plain sight.
03:15One of the faithful is dying slowly in front of your eyes.
03:20This is my favorite kill.
03:22This is the secret kill.
03:23Did anything weird happen to any of you or something?
03:26Who touched the champagne bottle?
03:27Faye, you touched it.
03:28I opened one.
03:29And then I tried to help you open it.
03:30Yeah, me and you opened one.
03:31And who popped Joanna?
03:32You popped one.
03:33She's so good.
03:34She's on the ball.
03:35Yeah.
03:36She's from Cork, of course she's on the ball.
03:37We watched as Christine and the rest of the players tried to work out who would
03:41be dead by the end of the mission.
03:43Please follow me into the castle.
03:46And if he hit me, that's Nick.
03:48He had to hook someone.
03:49And they don't know that they're dying.
03:51Does the person themselves know?
03:52No.
03:53Not right now.
03:54Wake me up on this door will ya.
03:55Can't fucking follow this fucking shit at all.
03:58He's the biggest treasure, that fella there.
04:01He's from there.
04:02I'll be honest with you, I actually at one stage, Charlie was at a funeral.
04:07I was, thanks very much for coming, the whole lot.
04:09The Lord above, he's just a legend.
04:11I wish Paddy was my dad so bad.
04:14They all started taking tea and sandwiches.
04:17Oh look, they're having the tea and all.
04:19So nice.
04:20They hit different.
04:21What, when there's a corpse in the room?
04:23They just taste nicer.
04:25Ben, Faye, Christine.
04:29Oh my God, look at this.
04:31What in the?
04:33No.
04:34Oh my God, I would die.
04:36There's no way you would put me into that.
04:38I'm as claustrophobic.
04:39They're going to bury him.
04:40I'd die.
04:41Oh, you wouldn't get, you couldn't pay me to do that.
04:43Oh, I would, I'd enjoy the bloody rest.
04:45She's terrified inside it.
04:47Well it wouldn't be nice to lie in a coffin, would it?
04:49Very.
04:50And if you were about to lose 50,000 euro,
04:52wouldn't you be nearly on the verge of tears?
04:54You'd be on the verge of tears if you lost a fibre.
04:56The person who has been cursed by the traitors
05:00and been murdered
05:03is Christine.
05:05Well they've just lost 300,000 viewers in Cork.
05:09We've won nothing this year.
05:11Please, can we close the coffin of Christine?
05:13Oh my God, they're going to close it on her.
05:15Oh no, they don't.
05:17They do.
05:19Oh Jesus Christ, get at me.
05:22No.
05:23No.
05:24Oh my God.
05:25Go on, close the lid.
05:26Rest in peace, Christine.
05:28I can still hear you.
05:30Bye.
05:31My head would be melted.
05:33I see the problem now is I don't trust anyone anyway.
05:35No, we know that.
05:36You'd be an excellent traitor.
05:38You're very duplicitous.
05:39With another round table and the offing,
05:41the faithful have a chance to enact revenge immediately.
05:45So now what they're going to do is they're going to discuss
05:47and nominate who they think the traitors are to boot them out.
05:50Have you finally worked out who to trust?
05:53I don't trust any of the fuckers.
05:55Who wouldn't trust you even if we were playing it?
05:57It would be right to.
05:59I'd hang me own mother for 50 grand.
06:03Are the two ye walking together?
06:05Nick said he was asked to be seduced and refused.
06:11I think Pawdy is genuinely learning the rules and the game
06:16just as he's going along.
06:17Yeah.
06:18And he's getting better at it.
06:19You're obviously trying to get me out before I get you.
06:21Somebody's obviously told you that.
06:23Nobody has told me anything.
06:24What is his deal at the round table going after the other traitors?
06:28You know how I made my theory about it being traitor and traitor and traitor?
06:33Get him, Ian.
06:34She's brilliant.
06:35She's on the money all the time.
06:37You could be absolutely right or absolutely wrong.
06:39You told me you could be absolutely right.
06:40And I said to you, how do you know there's only three?
06:42No, no, no.
06:43Oh, why is he doing this?
06:44Jesus Christ.
06:45Go home to your son.
06:47Daddy.
06:48You put my name down and I'll go.
06:50Well, I'm asking you to watch what you're doing.
06:53Oh, he is good.
06:54He is good.
06:55Please.
06:56Please write down the name of the person who you think is a traitor.
07:00Oh, here we go, Connor.
07:02Ian, we'll start with you.
07:03Please don't pick potty.
07:04Please don't pick potty.
07:05Please don't pick potty.
07:06I voted for you, potty.
07:07No.
07:08Not my man, potty.
07:09I do think that you are protecting unknowingly a traitor.
07:15Oh.
07:16Oh.
07:17Not the traitor being a traitor to the traitor.
07:21Oh.
07:22For the final vote, Ben.
07:25Who do you believe is a traitor and why?
07:28Oh.
07:29I'm going for you, potty.
07:32Ah.
07:33No.
07:34I can't.
07:35No.
07:36It was time for him to go.
07:37Oh.
07:38Oh.
07:39Oh.
07:40Pardy, you have received the most votes.
07:43Bye.
07:44Get out, you old bastards, you.
07:46On my way home to my wife, my four beautiful children.
07:50You might know my family, but she even met one of them.
07:53My son, Andrew, and I am a traitor.
07:59Amazing!
08:00Mic drop!
08:01Mic drop!
08:02Mic drop!
08:03Ah!
08:04Mic drop!
08:05Mic drop!
08:06Mic drop!
08:07Mic drop!
08:08Mic drop!
08:09Mic drop!
08:10Mic drop!
08:11Mic drop!
08:12I am so shocked he lasted so long.
08:13He thought he was going in for fucking Wheel of Fortune, I'd say.
08:16Jesus Christ, I can't believe potty's gone.
08:17Right here, shall we do a little toast to potty?
08:19Yeah, to potty.
08:20Party to potty.
08:21Rest in peace.
08:24In Dun Laoghaire.
08:25I was always very odd about getting older, right?
08:27And then when I turned 44, I was like, I look okay for 44.
08:30I do.
08:31Friends, David and John.
08:33Do you know when you go back home, and you meet someone that you were in school with,
08:37that obviously bullied you, and they are in bits!
08:41There's nothing better!
08:42Oh my god!
08:43And you're there with your lovely moisturised face.
08:45Yeah, and they were like the shit in school, and they made you feel fucking awful,
08:50and now you're just like the fucking stadia.
08:52But do you know why it is?
08:53God, being gay is great.
08:54Those people reached success too early, so they felt like they didn't have to put an effort in,
08:57whereas we constantly had to claw.
08:59Yeah.
09:00Our self-doubt and hatred continues.
09:01Yeah.
09:02Well, we look well.
09:03It's worth it.
09:04This week, Netflix invited us all around to this fancy gaff.
09:10We are making starter for sourdough.
09:14We have to gather.
09:15Oh, Jesus!
09:16It's herself!
09:17Prince Harry's woman!
09:18Oh!
09:19Oh!
09:20For fuck's sake!
09:21It's a very lengthy process.
09:22You know, sourdough is a labour of love.
09:23I heard that making sourdough is like making a yeast infection in a bowl.
09:28I don't know.
09:29Sourdough?
09:30Yeah, it's supposed to be beautiful bread.
09:31Sourdough.
09:32Sourdough.
09:33Sourdough.
09:34Yeah, it's supposed to be beautiful bread.
09:35Sourdough.
09:36As we know with baking, the specificity of measurements is a real thing.
09:40She's my damn fucker she know about cooking.
09:42I feel a little nervous.
09:43I'm going to have patience for this.
09:45Ah!
09:46Have you put everything in a fucking bowl like our grandmother did?
09:51Yeah, mix it up with a big spoon and then your hands.
09:53Oh, yes.
09:54Oh, I've done it.
09:55Sourdough.
09:56Sourdough.
09:57Sourdough.
09:58Sourdough.
09:59Sourdough.
10:00Sourdough.
10:01Sourdough.
10:02Sourdough.
10:03Sourdough.
10:04Sourdough.
10:05Sourdough.
10:06Sourdough.
10:07Sourdough.
10:08Sourdough.
10:09Sourdough.
10:10I've seen her Ramsada run for us.
10:11It's called, Feed Π±Π»ΠΈΠ·ner's.
10:12It's called, Feeding the Starter.
10:13Kind of looks like the bottom of a tiramisu.
10:20A tree!
10:22Back to her resting spot.
10:27I will say, each day it's getting easier.
10:29There's this whole Netflix show about we're making fucking bread.
10:34One loaf of bread.
10:34One loaf of bread.
10:36We're actually going to make our bread.
10:37It'll end soon.
10:38It'll end soon, I promise.
10:39It's gone on for so long.
10:41Ooh.
10:42I can't wait to see how it'll turn out.
10:44But first, we wait again.
10:47What I love about it, though, is how natural it feels.
10:55Looks nice, to be fair.
10:56Yeah, it does.
10:59Shit, me.
11:01I don't believe a word of it.
11:02Look at how the design came out.
11:04You did it.
11:06Yeah.
11:07Wait till you see it now when you cut it.
11:08Oh.
11:09It'll just be fabulous.
11:10I love a sourdough, though.
11:12Sourdough, though.
11:13The Royal Family can't do it because they're all inbred.
11:17After a fruitful seven days,
11:20Megan brought a famous friend around to sample the goods.
11:23I know you love flowers,
11:25so I thought we might do our own project
11:26and make a little press jewellery,
11:28but we'll make them with the flowers of our kids' birth month.
11:30So cute.
11:31Yeah, I have to look up what the kids are.
11:33We both have May and June birthdays for our kids.
11:35Yeah, look, I had to get a tattoo of their birthdays
11:37because I don't remember it.
11:39She's a bit young to be losing her memory.
11:41She doesn't even know her own children's birthdays.
11:43Wait, is that 16 or 18?
11:45Oh, no.
11:4518.
11:46Oh, no, that's just, yeah.
11:48Yeah, it's a little bit blurry.
11:49What's fucking Prince Harry down drawing all this?
11:52He's down to town now, right?
11:55Million points.
11:56Oh, I won't do that.
11:57Where's Megan?
11:59Oh, she's undergaffed Megan bread, lads.
12:00I can't go back for a week and a half.
12:02Yeah.
12:02You'll see there's so many tiny darling flowers.
12:08I keep the cosmos there, those pansies.
12:10They're so removed from reality, it's bananas.
12:15See, this is what you do, right?
12:16When you marry a prince.
12:18Yeah.
12:18That doesn't really want to be a prince anymore.
12:21Welcome to the craft barn.
12:23Stop.
12:24Isn't it so good?
12:26Oh, my gosh.
12:28There is nothing more annoying than super, super wealthy people cosplaying normal people.
12:34Oh, cool.
12:36Oh, my gosh.
12:37Oh, so well.
12:39I can't believe that that's preserved that much color.
12:41Yeah.
12:42I mean, I think those are done.
12:43It's like a really affluent art attack.
12:46It is.
12:48Sweet.
12:49Gosh, it's beautiful.
12:50Oh, that's so beautiful.
12:51I take it all back.
12:53The girl is a genius.
12:54Wait, I love this a lot.
12:56I really love it so much.
12:58No, not Ork.
12:59Good woman.
12:59I can't watch anything but her.
13:01I'm going home.
13:04Nah, there's a good girl.
13:06I feel dumber for having watched that.
13:08Ha, ha, ha, ha.
13:20Cook delivery sponsors Gogglebox Ireland.
13:22In Clare, Tighe and his granny, Etty.
13:31How was Fanore?
13:32Fabulous.
13:33The tranquillity and the, we were three minutes from the beach.
13:39Yeah.
13:40And, um...
13:41Sorry as well, I farted.
13:42Just fair warning to you.
13:43Listen here.
13:44You don't have to tell me.
13:46I think it's common courtesy that if you flatulate around someone, that you warn them if you know it's going to smell.
13:50If it's a quiet one that you don't think is going to smell, yeah, then don't say nothing.
13:54There's no need to make a show because your defecation particles...
14:00Listen, I don't want to hear that, Tighe, okay?
14:05It's a gas that you release, okay?
14:08Yeah.
14:09You just say excuse me.
14:11But, um, what was I going to say?
14:12No, it was lovely.
14:17Everything's shit.
14:18On Thursday, the RTE News brought us news about RTE on RTE1.
14:23For the first time in 60 years, Ireland may not submit an entry to the Eurovision Song Contest next year.
14:32Oh, excellent.
14:34Oh, no, not the Eurovision.
14:36RTE has announced that it will not take part if Israel does.
14:40But how the fuck is Israel in Europe, anyway?
14:42This is what I don't understand.
14:44Why are they allowed to perform when Russia's gone?
14:46Because the rules are different for Israel.
14:49I used to be obsessed with the Eurovision.
14:50I used to love watching it every year.
14:52Not anymore, though.
14:53It's lost.
14:54It's magic.
14:55The Eurovision Song Contest, produced by the EBU, the European Broadcasting Union,
15:00is the world's biggest live annual televised music event.
15:03We were in it last year.
15:04Everyone was pissed off last year and said,
15:06don't send an act.
15:07This is a disgrace.
15:08Why are you going?
15:09Nothing has changed within that year.
15:11It has only got progressively worse on all accounts.
15:14And now it's just like, oh, now we won't go.
15:16Also, we're fucking shite, so what's the point?
15:18And over the last two years, it has been the focus of much criticism
15:22for the ongoing participation of Israel in the contest.
15:25It's full of gays.
15:27And let me tell you, they know how to hold a grudge.
15:30If you start a war and commit genocide, they're going to be annoyed that you're at their concert.
15:34RT feels that Ireland's participation would be unconscionable,
15:38given the ongoing and appalling loss of lives in Gaza.
15:41No offence, RT, but why is it now?
15:44Why wasn't it last year?
15:45What, does it get through a certain number of deaths?
15:47Yeah, yeah.
15:48And you're like, now's too far.
15:50And that RT is also deeply concerned by the targeted killing of journalists in Gaza.
15:54It's shocking.
15:55Like, the fact that they're purposely targeting journalists
15:59so that the actual news of what's happening in Palestine
16:02can't go out to the wider public.
16:05It's fucking disgraceful, like.
16:06This is an independent decision by RT.
16:08This is a decision that they have taken as a broadcaster.
16:12I love the way he's using this now as a platform
16:14to have a big bloody poster behind him and his, like, party name as well.
16:18The NUJ from the Dublin Broadcasting Branch here,
16:21welcoming, strongly welcoming the statement
16:22and saying they feel it reflects the views of the staff working in RT
16:25and, indeed, the public.
16:27So one time I can actually say, good for you, RT.
16:30I know.
16:30I hope they stick to their guns now and don't give in.
16:33Listen, if there's one thing that we've been doing
16:35is sticking to our guns when it comes to this,
16:37or our stance on this, the whole country has.
16:40This is the 70th anniversary of the Eurovision next year,
16:44so it's a particularly significant one.
16:46Jesus, you were five when the Eurovision started.
16:49Did you watch the first one?
16:50No, we didn't have a television.
16:53We did not get it on YouTube on your phone, no?
16:55No.
17:01In Cork.
17:03So you booked a synagogue of Tolls, Donne, right?
17:05Tootsies.
17:06Dale and her wife, Dawn.
17:08I get really self-conscious every time I go there.
17:10So I only go there, like, once every six months,
17:14because I don't care.
17:15Yeah.
17:16But it's when they go at my heels
17:18and I know they're judging me.
17:21Oh, because that flakes off like cheese, Donny.
17:23It's literally like cheese.
17:24Yeah, I know.
17:24It's disgusting.
17:25How do I not cheese?
17:26See, the thing...
17:27The thing is, what you write,
17:31is that I see them lift up your foot
17:34and they get out this fancy grater.
17:37You don't think for zest and lemons.
17:38It's just hard skin-like.
17:40And they be zesting...
17:41Great.
17:41They're not playing the violin-like.
17:43They might as well.
17:44Donny, it looks like someone has gotten
17:46a miniature grater to a potato
17:48and it just...
17:48Potato.
17:49And then you have the audacity then
17:51to go to this to me.
17:52Why are you making eye contact with me
17:54without flaking off you?
17:56I still love you, though, but...
17:57Jesus.
17:58On Wednesday,
17:59a new prime video drama
18:01had us questioning some relationships.
18:03Oh, this is meant to be absolute sensational trash.
18:20Fighting?
18:20Are we messing?
18:21What's happening?
18:22Like a shark, wasn't it?
18:23The way they twist you around.
18:24This is a romantic toss-up.
18:25Yeah, obviously.
18:29It's not normal for an old lady to be that strong.
18:32What the heck is going on?
18:34I'm so happy you're here.
18:36I've missed you.
18:37Wow, Mom, you've been away so long.
18:39I've got quite neglected.
18:40Mom!
18:42Get off him!
18:44Dad tells me that you haven't been sleeping at home very much.
18:47Who is this one?
18:48You remind me of her.
18:50She reminds you of me?
18:53I know where this is going.
18:54This is some weird fucking mom-girlfriend thing or something, is it?
18:58Yeah, yeah.
18:59I've recently got really into saunas.
19:01Who?
19:01Saunas.
19:02My God.
19:03It's like every wanker bucket checked.
19:06Well, there's so many around here.
19:07Did your personal trainer or your therapist tell you to go?
19:09Both.
19:10Did you?
19:11You must have popped out when the cleaner was here.
19:14The show had us on edge as we watched Daniel bring his girlfriend round to his mom's house.
19:20Hello.
19:21Hello.
19:21Lovely to meet you, Mrs. Sanderson.
19:23And please, call me Laura.
19:24Laura.
19:26I remember the first time you brought me home to meet you, Ma.
19:28What did you get interrogated?
19:29That's fucking 20 questions.
19:31Well, it didn't put you off.
19:32You stayed for 40 years, so I think we're okay.
19:35You are ravishing.
19:38Now, it wouldn't be the type of dress you'd be going to wear to meet your in-laws for the first time, is it?
19:43No.
19:44I actually have no idea what I wore.
19:46Because it was a long enough drive, like, so.
19:49Probably the same thing you are now.
19:51Probably.
19:51So nice to meet you.
19:53Nice to meet you, too.
19:54The mother is sensing something about her, isn't she?
19:56It's like, why are they giving each other the eyes?
19:58Oh, who is this?
20:00That's Moses.
20:01He's gorgeous.
20:03Oh, shit, the window's open.
20:04That cat's getting out.
20:06He's our resident prisoner.
20:07He's an indoor cat.
20:09Okay, I'm calling it now.
20:11The cat dies.
20:12We watched as Laura witnessed a surprising blow to her son's relationship.
20:17Now, what is she going to see?
20:23Is there a fucking need?
20:25What is happening?
20:26Ah, no.
20:27That's disrespectful, Jackie.
20:28I think it's great.
20:32I think it perfectly suits you, Terry.
20:34Fuck!
20:35Fuck!
20:36The bitch!
20:37She done that intentionally.
20:39If ever there was an Irish mammy way of saying I don't like you, it's hot gravy in the vag.
20:43Terry, I'm so sorry.
20:45What the hell?
20:45It's fine.
20:46You're kissing me, okay?
20:46No, it's fine.
20:48Sorry, it was just really, really hot.
20:49I'm so sorry.
20:50Something wrong with you?
20:51Yeah, she's a nut kiss.
20:53Maybe the mother's the psycho.
20:54Yeah.
20:54The mother is the psycho.
20:55That's what I said to you.
20:56Oh, I thought she was the psycho, the young one.
20:58Uh, hi, Moses.
21:03Ow!
21:04Ah!
21:04You wee fuck!
21:05Shit.
21:07Oh, not the window.
21:11She's crazy.
21:13Did she show you?
21:14Oh my god, it's a house club.
21:15The show took us back to Cherry's mam's, where she got a little relationship advice.
21:20What is wrong with loving someone who happens to have money, mum?
21:23They'll never marry you.
21:25Okay.
21:26Look, I'm a butcher.
21:28And your father was a builder, love.
21:29She's a butcher?
21:30No way.
21:31They stick to their own.
21:32Okay.
21:32Okay.
21:33It's boring now, mum.
21:34What a weird way to talk to your daughter.
21:36In her own little way.
21:38What's she known?
21:39She's trying to keep her from getting hurt.
21:41We got a glimpse into Cherry's previous life as we watched her have a run-in with her ex.
21:46Stop stalking me, you creepy little fuck.
21:49What?
21:50What the hell's going on?
21:51I'm getting married on Saturday.
21:53It's over, okay?
21:54Move on.
21:55I have moved on.
21:55I can't believe I actually used to fuck you.
21:57You make my skin crawl.
21:59Fair play.
22:00Oh, lovely.
22:01Later, the weirdness continued as Cherry spent the evening in her ma'am's butcher shop.
22:10Da-doom, da-doom, da-doom, da-doom.
22:14Animals flow.
22:15You're in the mind of a cannibal.
22:17My chaos and panicky roam.
22:19Oh, my God.
22:21Ah!
22:21Mary had the little lamb whose fleece was white as snow.
22:25Oh.
22:26Woman of many talents, I see.
22:28Horrific, explicit, happy, parasitic, acidic, I'm eating your flag.
22:31What is happening?
22:32This is good, isn't it?
22:33I am the belly, I am the beast.
22:35Oh, my God, she's going to the wedding!
22:37Oh, my God, what's she going to do?
22:45Oh, you mad bitch.
22:50She's a fucking leonatick, I love her.
22:54I'm on her side.
22:56I don't know.
22:58Okay, so this girl is obviously a psycho.
23:01I will watch every episode of that with absolute joy.
23:07Book Delivery sponsors Gogglebox Ireland.
23:15Book Delivery sponsors Gogglebox Ireland.
23:23In Carlow.
23:25I was in work there during the week.
23:26I was getting a cup of tea at the tea station.
23:29Mates, Greg, John and Eric.
23:32You bring in your own tea bags, coffee, whatever.
23:36Tea in, fill up the hot water, open the fridge.
23:38There's a two-litre jug of milk about halfway down, no name on it.
23:43So I took out and I was about to pour myself a drop of milk.
23:46And a lady came up and says, excuse me, that's my milk.
23:50And I was like, oh, sorry.
23:51She goes, I'll have you know it's not a free-for-all.
23:55You see, you could say that she overreacted, but you can't say she had no grounds to react.
24:01You can't live a two-litre of milk underneath where you make tea and not expect somebody to throw a drop in a cup of tea.
24:07I don't think it's the quantity that matters.
24:09It's the action of it, though.
24:10But I think it's general understanding.
24:11If you put milk in a fridge without your name on it, that's communal.
24:14I'd be quite embarrassed, but I also wouldn't have the neck to call someone out on it.
24:18Now, I nearly respect it.
24:19On Friday night, an old favourite was back on our screens on RTE1.
24:29You're coming too early as usual, Dave.
24:31Oh, sorry.
24:40Now, ladies and gentlemen, let's have a welcome from Patrick Cielty.
24:44I'm only copping on that's Gayborn's voice.
24:46Is he not dead?
24:47Would you please welcome Mr. Michael Flatley?
24:51Michael Flatley?
24:52Michael Flatley, again.
24:53He's always on this fucking show.
24:55You know who Michael Flatley is, don't you?
24:58He's your man from Riverdance, from the Eurovision.
25:00Up until last week, we thought we were going to be swapping Michael D for Michael F.
25:08Question we're all asking, what happened?
25:11You didn't dance your way into the RSDC.
25:13I decided the timing wasn't right.
25:16Because no one wanted you to be president.
25:18Slash, I realised I would get no votes or could be nominated.
25:22You know, these things in life, you have to take it very seriously.
25:25And I do take it seriously.
25:27He's got a real Irish accent now, wasn't he?
25:29No.
25:30You know, what's your first act as president?
25:32I think I can serve the people of Ireland a lot better, continuing to do what I do, promoting
25:40Ireland and Irish culture globally.
25:43Representing what?
25:44What's, what's, exactly?
25:45Well, in fairness, Tracy.
25:47He, he.
25:48Riverdance.
25:48Yeah, he didn't invent Irish Janssen in E.T., he modernised it.
25:52He's an I.M.E.
25:53That's typically the Americans.
25:55You know, it would be mendacious of me to, to say that I have a clean bill of health right
26:00now as well.
26:01And I didn't, I don't think that would be fair.
26:03Is he sick?
26:04Yeah, he had cancer, didn't he?
26:05Did he?
26:05No.
26:06I'm sorry, forgive now about him.
26:08How you doing?
26:08I know you're, you're still getting treatment for your cancer.
26:11Mm-hmm.
26:11Oh.
26:12Oh, I feel bad now.
26:14To be fair, he wasn't talking about having cancer five seconds ago.
26:16He said he was running for, what was he talking about?
26:19Yeah, I'm, I'm good.
26:21Patrick, the, the good times outweigh the bad.
26:24You know, I feel great.
26:25I feel like I'm on the way back.
26:26He looks healthy for a man with cancer.
26:28Does.
26:28But inside in me, I was still lonely because I knew that it was me and this terrible disease.
26:35Yeah, cancer does leave its mark, doesn't it, really?
26:38Definitely.
26:39We're now lumping me throat over Michael Flatney now.
26:40That's sad, isn't it?
26:41That was sad, yeah.
26:42It's a little bit.
26:43Put things into respect, of it.
26:44Like, imagine knowing that that's going on.
26:46You couldn't enjoy anything.
26:47No.
26:48We have a, a, a flute just behind you here tonight.
26:52Uh, last time you were here.
26:53Just by accident.
26:54Just by accident.
26:56Oh, there's his flute now.
26:56Oh, he's, he's whipping his flute out now.
27:00Like, you can't tell a serious story about cancer and then look down at flute like it's a rifle.
27:04That's Patrick's sin to say, can we please cheer things up a little bit?
27:09Yes, I will.
27:10I tried to play the flute before, actually, it's really hard.
27:13You've tried playing the recorder and my ears have not recovered.
27:15Eh, I can play the recorder, not I tried to.
27:26He's able to play it, though.
27:27But that could have been the president, lads.
27:29Just saying.
27:29Everyone in that audience is complicit.
27:36I just clapped.
27:37I feel like I'm complicit.
27:42Is he still going?
27:43Yeah, he is, yeah.
27:44Oh, no, that's going on too long.
27:46Sorry, Michael.
27:47I love you, but throw the water on him, Patrick.
27:52Like, I actually think I might be able to go take a shower and come back.
27:57That's his party piece.
27:58I'd say that's all he can play on the flute.
28:00Well, you don't like him.
28:02No, I don't dislike him, actually.
28:04I just don't think that because of the notion that you'll go and put yourself forward for the presidency.
28:09Fill the flute or whatever his fucking name is.
28:11In the Liberties...
28:14Rolling, rolling, rolling.
28:17Keep your...
28:18Rolling, right.
28:21Friends, Tracy and Anita.
28:24I love your energy.
28:25Stop touching me.
28:28Why do you keep doing that?
28:29I just...
28:29You're very irresistible.
28:32You do that to everyone.
28:35People say, please be with you.
28:36I hate anyone touching me.
28:37I hate anyone touching me.
28:38People be with you.
28:39Peace be with you en masse.
28:40And instead of shaking someone's hand, you're all over them, hugging them.
28:44You bring up maths every single time we sit down.
28:47And you're never there.
28:49On Monday, BBC One Northern Ireland gave us a revealing look at life north of the border.
28:57True north.
28:58I've recorded this.
28:59I think this is about strippers.
29:01There's nothing I can really...
29:03Oh.
29:04Do, like, I have this and I want to have it for the rest of my life.
29:13Oh, she's a stutter.
29:14Oh, bless her.
29:14Oh, bless her.
29:15Imagine how hard that is to try and actually talk, but you just can't get it out.
29:21My brother used to stammer when he was younger.
29:24Yeah.
29:25Yeah.
29:26In Northern Ireland, an estimated 5% of adults and 1% of children stammer.
29:31Courtney Adair knows this well.
29:33So there's not a time in my life when I remember not having a stutter or being able to speak
29:39fluently completely.
29:40That's never been a thing.
29:41I also don't know anybody in the community who has a stutter.
29:48The terrible thing is, it's human nature.
29:51I've done it myself.
29:52Mm-hmm.
29:53When you're talking to someone with a stammer, you're nearly trying to finish the sentence
29:56for them.
29:57I know.
29:58You think you're helping, but you're not.
29:59I remember being taken for, er, being taken out of, out of, class, er, to go to, er, speech
30:15therapy.
30:16Our brother had a terrible stammer.
30:18It was awful.
30:19God love him.
30:20And then people, you know, b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b.
30:22I got into more rows and fights over that.
30:26Terrible.
30:27He mocking my brother.
30:28In case I was a bitch.
30:31Courtney and Nathan are taking part in the Maguire program, an intensive three-day course
30:36led by individuals with a stammer.
30:38For new students, you can see how the coaches opposite are putting on their belts.
30:46I've seen something a bit like this.
30:48So if they start doing it, it starts training you how to go, drawing a breath, and then
30:53the world will come out then.
30:55So the belt acts as a reminder to take that full breath.
30:58Oh.
30:59Okay.
31:00Must be very uncomfortable for women.
31:02The tatas.
31:03What did I call them today?
31:05The booblets or something.
31:07Yeah.
31:08New students, now it's your turn.
31:11Breathe.
31:13Good.
31:14Release that air.
31:15Release that air.
31:16And pause.
31:17I'm nearly breathing with them.
31:18You do?
31:19The intensity of the course has taken its toll on Courtney.
31:22I would literally get people ringing me a new caller id and just pretending to have a sontgrund
31:35and then hanging up.
31:37Imagine actually picking up the phone to just slag someone off like that.
31:41I just got to the point where I felt like I was never going to stop around.
31:50It made me feel like I was nothing and I isolate myself all the time over it because it's easier
31:59to hide than get embarrassed trying to speak to people.
32:01She has years of emotions.
32:03God love her.
32:04It's difficult.
32:05It's harder than I thought.
32:08It's harder than I thought it would be.
32:14When someone can't communicate, it's just soul-destroying.
32:17I see that with the brother, the fact that he's non-verbal.
32:21Can't stop crying.
32:22No, it's okay.
32:23It's okay.
32:24It's an emotional time.
32:27Come on, you can do it.
32:29I'm not being an asshole, but I'm wondering if this entire process would have gone much
32:35better for them if there weren't cameras there.
32:37I would say that.
32:38Do you know what I mean?
32:39The intensity of it.
32:40We nervously followed Courtney and Nathan later in the show as they took their newfound
32:44skills to the streets.
32:46Our last challenge is to do a speech in front of the public.
32:52Oh, that's a tough one.
32:53That's difficult for a lot of people.
32:55I even have a problem with this.
32:57I struggle now with this.
32:59I have perfect diction, John.
33:00And exhibitionist tendencies.
33:02New students, when you're ready.
33:08See you later.
33:09Come on, lads.
33:11Courtney Adair.
33:12Nathan Tate.
33:13Oh, man.
33:14I have been through all the emotions.
33:15Although I fought through and I have got to where I am today.
33:29And I am so proud of myself.
33:36I feel like I have finally found my voice.
33:42Well done.
33:43Both of you.
33:44That was lovely.
33:45Now, it wasn't the stripper program I thought it was going to be.
33:49I have a genuine question.
34:13Have you ever heard of Bovril?
34:15No.
34:16Connor and his sister, Emma.
34:18Are you high?
34:19No.
34:20No.
34:21Do you know what it is?
34:22No.
34:23I was giving out food the other day when I was in work.
34:24And I had loads of people coming up to me and being like, do you sell Bovril?
34:28And I literally turned around to them.
34:29I'm going to be honest with you.
34:30Loads of people are asking me that tonight.
34:31I don't know what Bovril is.
34:33So I googled it.
34:34It's like this beef yeast extract thing.
34:37It looks rotten, right?
34:38But if you mix it with water, it turns into like a beef drink yolk.
34:43Right?
34:44Okay.
34:45Never heard of it.
34:46Sounds rotten.
34:47So then there was a whole debate then.
34:49Everyone that I asked in work, everyone over the age of 40 was like, how do you not know
34:54what Bovril is?
34:55Bovril's massive.
34:56And everyone that I asked that was air-raid was like, what the fuck is Bovril?
34:59So I just wanted to test me too.
35:00You don't know what it is either.
35:01No, it's no.
35:02Yeah.
35:03But I was just like, what else do we not know about that like our mom would know about?
35:09The Great Depression.
35:11The Great Depression.
35:12On Thursday, a former Love Islander was back on Virgin Media 2 to show us the modern world
35:18of makeovers.
35:19I'm Olivia Atwood.
35:20And I know a lot about the pressures to look perfect.
35:25Can we see a Love Island one?
35:26Yeah.
35:27It's gone too far.
35:28Everyone looks like an alien there.
35:30What's long and thin, covered in skin, red and part and golds and turts?
35:39Rhubarb.
35:40Men are not talking to each other about their penises.
35:45No, they don't.
35:46Do you and your male friends talk about this?
35:49No.
35:50It's not really on the agenda.
35:53And I think maybe the casualness in which we approach talking about penises and penis
35:59size does have an effect on male confidence and ego.
36:04Growing up, I don't ever really remember feeling under pressure over penis size.
36:10Olivia brought us to meet a specialist to find out the lengths people will go in the
36:15pursuit of perfection.
36:17Some of them, they don't feel confident.
36:18Yeah.
36:19They feel really down.
36:20Yeah.
36:21Sometimes I understand them because they really need it.
36:25Are they talking about getting injectables in their penis?
36:27Yeah, he's going to make it bigger.
36:28And I, for one, am fascinated to see how this works.
36:32Oh, my God.
36:33Hi.
36:34Hi.
36:35How are you?
36:36Long time ago, when I was a teenage, I had an ex and one time she mentioned that,
36:41no, it's not good enough for me, something like that.
36:43Well, then tell her to fuck off.
36:45Yeah, she's not his girlfriend anymore.
36:47Yeah.
36:48Can I have a seat here, please?
36:49I want to ensure that...
36:50Oh, is that painful, no?
36:51No, it's not.
36:52It's a small needle.
36:53It's a small needle.
36:54And even there, when I'm being nervous, I mean, the old dick has a tendency to retreat.
36:58Oh, yeah.
36:59Oh, that's fine.
37:00Do you know what I mean?
37:01Yeah.
37:02Yeah.
37:03Like, if that goes up, what's wrong with him?
37:04You wouldn't want any more.
37:05He's putting a bit more batter on the sausage, like he's not...
37:07Oh, stop.
37:08Don't call it batter.
37:09Oh, now that's, that's the one going in now.
37:12It's bigger than I thought it was going to be.
37:14Oh, just slice that needle.
37:16Ah!
37:17That's longer than his Johnson.
37:18Oh.
37:19This is like when I got me ingrown toenail taken out.
37:21They put a fucking injection on the top of your toe.
37:24Yeah, I don't think that and your bleeding willy is the same kind of thing.
37:27I feel something moving there.
37:29Oh.
37:30Oh my God, my own penis has crawled up to my lungs.
37:34Why are you like...
37:36Because people think they can do whatever they want with their bodies and they're probably
37:41right, they can.
37:42Oh my God.
37:43Oh my God.
37:44Oh, he's doing it in the tip.
37:45Oh my God.
37:46Ouch.
37:51Jesus, man.
37:52Fucking hell.
37:53That's surely not worth it.
37:54Oh.
37:55Shit.
37:56Oh.
37:57He's regretting his choices now.
37:59This better be the size of a fucking baguette by the time it's done.
38:02You okay?
38:03Are you okay?
38:05You just put a full syringe up me or eat really.
38:08Here is the result.
38:10What do you think?
38:11Oh my God.
38:12Oh my God.
38:13It's good.
38:14Oh my God.
38:15It's good.
38:16Like is it done?
38:17It's the same.
38:18I can't tell the difference.
38:19It's actually smaller.
38:20It's amazing.
38:21Yeah, of course, yeah.
38:22It looks smaller in the after.
38:23It's like a limp prawn.
38:24It's gone.
38:25How much did you pay for the treatment?
38:27It's 1,600.
38:28What?
38:29What?
38:301,600 euros and it's going home with a little plaster on it.
38:33Asha, God love it.
38:34A little sling.
38:35Yeah.
38:36Asha, did you want a crutch as well, love?
38:38Later, we watched Olivia have a phone call with the secretive man named Chris.
38:43When did you first become aware that your penis was like smaller than average?
38:48About years ago.
38:50About 17, 18.
38:52Do you know what?
38:53Men are slag for it so much though.
38:54They can't help it.
38:56What is the size, if you don't mind me asking?
38:58What?
38:59It's around about two inches.
39:01Oh.
39:02Okay.
39:03Well then, look.
39:04Oh.
39:05It'll even be.
39:06Oh.
39:07What's two inches like that?
39:08No.
39:09What's two inches?
39:10Like that.
39:11Is that two inches?
39:13Hi, guys.
39:15Hello.
39:16How are you?
39:17Blur his face but let his engorged penis fly.
39:23He's shuffling it.
39:25Ah.
39:26Ah, Chris.
39:27It looks like Swanson's nose from the side profile.
39:31It fucking does.
39:32Doesn't it?
39:33He must be in a really bad place if he's going to go through all this.
39:36Well, fair play to him to go and get the surgery.
39:38Yeah?
39:39The surgeon burns through the layers of skin in order to access the suspensory ligament,
39:43which attaches the penis to the pubic bone.
39:45I thought the penis didn't have a bone.
39:47It's called a boner.
39:48He then inserts his finger to manually detach the ligament.
39:51Yeah, Jesus.
39:53Is he awake for this?
39:55Yes.
39:56If he's...
39:57Oh!
39:58The earlier fat taken from the pubic area is gradually injected back into the penis
40:02in order to increase the girth.
40:04Oh, it could never be a surgeon, I swear to God.
40:06I can give you the mirror just so that you can have a look.
40:09Best thoughts?
40:12It looks bigger.
40:13Yeah?
40:14Yeah.
40:15Yeah.
40:16It's arguably worse looking after its paw surgery.
40:18Once the swelling goes down, you'll be able to see it.
40:20Yeah, yeah, yeah.
40:21Oh, I'm happy.
40:22Yeah.
40:23It's actually a fair lot bigger now, to be fair.
40:25No, look.
40:26If it makes his life better, who cares?
40:28That penis is burned into my eyelids.
40:31We light a lamp for him, wasn't we?
40:33Jesus.
40:34Is there a saint for that?
40:35Saint Richard!
40:36Oh, my God.
40:37In Dun Laogha.
40:38What were you saying to me about your draining board?
40:39John is shopping for his new house.
40:40I just wanted someone to pick a draining board.
40:41So, like, something that you just put your dishes in, there's not that much variation
40:57of them.
40:58There's not.
40:59I've seen ones for €14 and ones for €75.
41:02But they probably look the same.
41:04I just need you to help me buy a draining board.
41:05Why don't we just get a little narrow dishwasher?
41:07What?
41:08You can get the little narrow ones.
41:10They're not that expensive.
41:11But I need a draining board for the dishes at the moment.
41:14Where do you drain your dishes?
41:16Am I using the right word?
41:17No, where do you?
41:18But, like, do you have your sink?
41:20Yeah.
41:21Is there, like, a draining board attached to it?
41:23But we're using the same word.
41:24There's the...
41:25So, you have your sink, and then the metal part...
41:28The metal part.
41:29...is the draining board.
41:30Yes.
41:31Yeah.
41:32So you want an additional draining board?
41:33No, I want the thing that you sit on the draining board.
41:36You just put the dishes on the draining board.
41:38Oh, my God.
41:39I want the rack that you stack dishes in on the draining board so they dry.
41:46I didn't know that was a thing.
41:49This week, a new Netflix doc brought us a story of small-town cyberbullying.
41:59Do you know what a catfish is?
42:00No.
42:01Catfish?
42:02Yeah.
42:03Oh, yeah.
42:04That's shite, yeah.
42:05There was a girl in my class that threw a Halloween party every year, and all of our classmates would go.
42:10When the high to COVID and the Americans are having a party.
42:12Sounds about right.
42:13We were about a year into our relationship, me and Lauren, and she was not invited, but, like, I, like, basically invited her.
42:21Like, if I'm going, you're gonna come with me.
42:23They shouldn't even be boyfriend and girlfriend.
42:24They're too young.
42:25I don't know what that fucking weird is.
42:26How many kids?
42:27They liked a lot of the same stuff, you know?
42:29A lot of the sports.
42:30They went trick-or-treating together.
42:32About two weeks before the Halloween party, we got a text from an unknown number in a group chat.
42:40Hi, Lauren.
42:41Ellen is breaking up with you.
42:43Hmm.
42:44He no longer likes you and hasn't liked you for a while.
42:48Who's this bitch?
42:49Unknown number.
42:50We don't know.
42:51I'm not sure what he told you, but he is coming to the Halloween party, and we are both down to fuck.
42:57DTF, they're only 13.
42:59What?
43:00The unknown sender called me by my nickname, Lo.
43:04So it really made me think it had to be someone who had been around me or one of my close friends before.
43:10It's definitely a girl.
43:11100%.
43:12My mom was like, just ignore them.
43:14I told her just to keep being her and just not even worry about anything, right?
43:20I didn't believe anybody would do anything harmful.
43:23I have no idea how parents in 2025 navigate technology and children and school.
43:30Like, how?
43:31And then it started to get worse and worse.
43:38Owen and I down to suck finger fuck.
43:40Jesus!
43:41What?
43:42The fuck does that mean?
43:44Do you need me to explain?
43:46His dick and fingers, my pussy and mouth.
43:49Nice.
43:50What the fuck?
43:51Not the most literate individual.
43:53Yeah, it was like, who talks like a fucking idiot in school?
43:56All they want us to do was break up.
43:58But then when we broke up, it seemed like the messages got worse.
44:05I would have never told my parents any of this.
44:08I'd just get the phone and just throw it in the bin.
44:11That's what I would honestly do.
44:12Wouldn't be arsed.
44:13Probably start getting pigeons at the door.
44:15As things continued to escalate, we heard that the FBI got involved.
44:22Sheriff Mike Main requested some assistance in a case he was investigating.
44:26I found one phone number that kept coming up, being connected to that IP address at the time these messages were sent.
44:32Look, look.
44:36Oh, they're getting a hiss, they're getting a hiss.
44:38Who was it?
44:39And the phone number was...
44:44Lauren's mom, uh, Kendra.
44:50What the fuck?
44:51The mother!
44:58You guys are gonna think I'm the crazy lady.
45:00You are 100% certifiable, my friend.
45:05I was somebody different in those moments.
45:08I was in an awful place mentally.
45:10I don't even know who I was.
45:12Oh, I want to slap her so bad.
45:15After her mother's stint in prison, Lauren gave us an update on the pair's relationship.
45:21I'm not allowed to see my mom now that she's out of prison.
45:25I want to see my mom when the time is right.
45:28You'll never ever trust anyone in your life if you can't trust your mother.
45:32Mm.
45:33It's been about a year and a half since I've seen her.
45:35We both know that we're with each other no matter what.
45:42God almighty, what a bitch.
45:44I just want her to get the help that she needs.
45:47Rebuilding our relationship will help both of us a lot.
45:50I love her more than anything.
45:55That is frightening.
45:57Yeah, at least when you send me abusive text, Mom, your number is turned on.
46:00That's not abuse.
46:04That's fucking parenting.
46:05That's what that is.
46:07A shocking return, hidden pregnancies and long-buried secrets push Ridley to the brink
46:13as he races to uncover the truth and deliver justice.
46:16Ridley concludes Friday at 9 on Virgin Media Play and One.
46:21In a perfect world, in a perfect world, in a perfect, perfect world.
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