- 3 months ago
S01 E05 >>> https://dai.ly/x9qt5cy
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00:00Forensics report says she had sedatives in her system.
00:02Sonya Martins was not Sally McGowan.
00:05Everyone blames me for the rumor.
00:07Seth again?
00:08That's not what you think.
00:09Seth is my half-brother.
00:11What do you know about Kay's daughter?
00:13She lives overseas, New Zealand.
00:15She actually lives in Denmark.
00:16Who are you, really?
00:17Are you Sally McGowan?
00:19You need to stop this right now.
00:20It says Sally loved to sing and had a beautiful voice.
00:24Please think that I was the last person to see Sonya alive.
00:27And were you?
00:28Turns out Sally McGowan had a baby.
00:30I reckon that relationship is the key.
00:33You've no idea the damage you've done.
00:58You've can't be afraid of she's done.
01:02You've no idea the damage you've done.
01:05So.
01:06I'll keep track of her to believe that웅
01:12but again if she can change she is the key.
01:15So wait, she may become an ずら tournament.
01:18I love you, I love you, I love you.
01:47I'll feel you in bed already.
01:49Fast asleep? Who was asking for you?
01:53So we got the police to ourselves.
01:56Mm-hmm.
01:58Just listen to this. It says here that she was always drawing during the trial.
02:02She didn't listen to any of the lawyers or the witnesses.
02:05That she was happy because she had all the paper and pencils that she wanted.
02:09Who does that sound like to you?
02:10Got to be kidding me.
02:13You promised me you were going to leave this alone.
02:15Did you hear what I said?
02:17All Liz does is paint.
02:20Liz?
02:22Joe, you've accused two people already. One of them is dead.
02:25Now you think it's Liz. You've known Liz for years.
02:28Do you remember me telling you that Sally McGowan had a child?
02:32I was in Liz's studio and I found a photo of her with a newborn.
02:35If she's lying about that, who knows what the real truth is?
02:39Um, your mom, for one.
02:42And if she doesn't?
02:46Alright.
02:48Enough, Joe.
02:50I know what happened at Alfie's London School.
02:55I spoke to his teachers there.
02:57Well, that's got nothing to do with this.
03:02Oh, bullshit, Joe.
03:05Look, I get it.
03:06But the fire has always made you so overprotective of him.
03:09That's what all this is about.
03:10But you're getting worse.
03:11You've been bullied.
03:12You screamed at a kid until he cried.
03:16And apparently the governors got involved.
03:19I was angry.
03:20I had every right to be.
03:22You threatened a child.
03:24And I'd do it again.
03:28How can you be so blind to the damage this is doing?
03:31Oh, forget that. You're missing the point.
03:34Please, please just wait.
03:36Right.
03:37Liz had her first exhibition in 1996.
03:40And there's nothing about her before that.
03:41But I know she painted all her life.
03:43She wouldn't have stopped when she was in prison.
03:46Who knows how many paintings she'd have produced.
03:48And people love that sort of thing.
03:50Like, the more famous, the killer, the better.
03:52And Sally McGowan has been in the papers loads recently.
03:54So I did a search.
03:55And I found this.
03:58Home by Sally McGowan.
04:00Painted while she was in Willow Grange Juvenile Detention Center.
04:03It's for sale.
04:04A grand painting.
04:05Pick up only in Sheffield.
04:07That's her.
04:08I know it is.
04:09That's her painting.
04:10This doesn't look anything like Liz's work.
04:14I know, but...
04:16Well, an artist's style will change and evolve,
04:18but not their handwriting or their signature.
04:21We need to get that painting.
04:22If I can confirm it's Liz's signature...
04:28I can't do this, Joan.
04:31I'm going to bed.
04:32Michael.
04:33I know this doesn't make any sense.
04:40But I need you to trust me.
04:43Please.
04:44I'm scared for my mom.
04:46Here we've got quite a few views.
05:04That's right, yeah, you can have a little bit of it.
05:07I'm going to have someone to do all that with you, but yeah,
05:10there's a tiny bit of a great room.
05:15You know, we've got quite a few viewings for our little house.
05:17I reckon we'll get some off of them.
05:18Yeah, leave that with me.
05:20I'm going to nip and see Kate.
05:21Don't do that.
05:27Something wrong?
05:30Kay Allenson called this morning.
05:34She was not at all happy.
05:36She doesn't want us to sell the house anymore.
05:44She's staying in Flintstead?
05:45No, she's still selling.
05:47She just doesn't want to do it for her pectons.
05:52We had a misunderstanding.
05:54So, let me make sure I've got this right.
05:57You don't think she's Sally McGowan anymore?
06:00People are throwing accusations around because of you.
06:06Look, I'll go over.
06:08I'll talk to her.
06:08I'll apologise.
06:09Just stop.
06:11It's too late for that.
06:16I don't have much choice in this,
06:19but I'm going to have to review your employment situation.
06:25You're firing me?
06:30Like I said,
06:31it's under review.
06:32Oh, and the abandoned house on the Crescent?
06:55Just leave it.
06:56Lost in the Crescent?
07:00Sí.
07:01Click.
07:04Bye.
07:06Bye.
07:07Bye.
07:11Bye.
07:15Bye.
07:16Bye.
07:19Bye.
07:19Bye.
07:20Bye.
07:21Bye.
07:22Bye.
07:23Bye.
07:25K, are you in there? It's Johanna. I just want to talk.
07:42K?
07:55K, are you in there?
08:05Shit.
08:22Kate, Mr. Johanna, can you hear me?
08:25Right, I'm going to get you out of here.
08:35Okay, nearly there.
08:44That's it. Hey.
08:45Keep breathing. You'll be all right now.
08:48Uncle Ralph.
08:49I had...
08:52Yeah.
08:53I had smell cancer.
08:54I couldn't breathe.
08:55I couldn't...
08:57So you didn't turn the gas on?
08:58No.
09:00Get an ambulance, please.
09:03That's it. Just try and breathe, okay?
09:04Breathe, Kay.
09:23Did you have fun with Daddy in the park?
09:26Good. I'm glad. What'd you get up to?
09:30We were bird spotting.
09:32Did you? Any good ones?
09:35A black one.
09:37And a robin. That's my favourite.
09:40Is it? I think it's Nana's favourite too.
09:43What?
09:45Aunt Liz said she can give me lessons to paint them.
09:50Did she?
09:52Well, that might not be the best idea right now.
09:55Why not?
09:56I want you to stay away from Aunt Liz for the time being.
10:00She's just very busy. That's all.
10:05Where's Daddy?
10:07He'll be here soon.
10:08I want Daddy!
10:09I know you do. And he'll be here.
10:12Come on, Alfie. Let's get some sleep now.
10:15Hey? Close your eyes.
10:17I don't want to. I have bad dreams.
10:20Oh, Alfie.
10:21You know sometimes I have bad dreams too.
10:25I've done ever since I was your age.
10:30But you're safe.
10:32I promise you you're safe.
10:35Close your eyes, darling.
10:38I won't let anyone hurt you.
10:51So were you with Liz all day today?
10:57Why are Ness do you want to know that?
11:01Just worried.
11:03We're both fine, love.
11:05Other than popping to the shops this morning, Liz has been locked away in a studio.
11:09Okay.
11:11Is this to do with what happened to Kay?
11:14Hmm?
11:16I know.
11:18The thought that someone tried to kill her is just beggars belief.
11:23But...
11:25Especially after the terrible business with Sonia.
11:28Life just sometimes seems so fragile.
11:31Every day I count my blessings.
11:33Yeah, me too.
11:36I know you've had a hell of a shock, but you can't let it get to you.
11:39You need to go easy on yourself.
11:42I just...
11:44What?
11:46Just want you to be safe, Mum.
11:48Of course I'm safe.
11:50We both are.
11:52I get a decent night's sleep.
11:54It's late.
11:55Okay?
11:56No, Mum.
12:09It's an interesting choice for a rough seafood.
12:26I prefer people didn't see us talking.
12:28Oh.
12:30Well, if I was the type I might be offended by that.
12:31I've got something for you, but I need to be an anonymous source.
12:34Okay.
12:36Depends what it is.
12:38I might know Sally McGowan as...
12:41I can't be sure.
12:43I need you to check her out.
12:45But no one can know it's come from me.
12:50Journalist's honour.
12:54Come on, who is it?
12:58She...
13:00She's close to my mum.
13:02And I need my mum to know the truth.
13:04But if I tell her if she doesn't believe me, or if she tries to confront this woman, then she could be in danger.
13:10But if everyone finds out at the same time...
13:12Your mum knows and it doesn't come from you.
13:15Yeah.
13:17I just need her to be safe.
13:19You must have heard what happened to Kay.
13:20Oh my god, is there any update on Kay?
13:21Is she alright?
13:22Yeah.
13:23I took her to the hospital.
13:24It seems you're everywhere these days.
13:25Do the police have any idea?
13:26Not that I know of.
13:27Oh my god, is there any update on Kay?
13:30Is she alright?
13:32Yeah.
13:33I took her to the hospital.
13:35It seems you're everywhere these days.
13:36Do the police have any idea?
13:37Not that I know of.
13:38Yeah, honestly.
13:39What's the point of having a boyfriend as a police officer if he's not going to tell you anything?
13:43It must be Sally McGowan, trying to kick Kay like she did Sonia.
14:01Se informs you that Kay was Sally.
14:03Sally?
14:04Well, maybe she faked it so that we didn't suspect her.
14:07Throw us off the scent.
14:09No.
14:10Because you'd never have known that I was going to turn up at her house.
14:12That's far too risky.
14:13Well, it could not be funny.
14:15I'm not waiting around for another murder to happen.
14:17I mean, someone's got to do something.
14:19We should start a neighborhood watch.
14:21No!
14:22Go away!
14:23Alfie!
14:24Stop that!
14:25Get off!
14:26Whoa!
14:27Alfie!
14:28Alfie!
14:29Leo!
14:30Leo, what's going on?
14:31Alfie was just defending himself.
14:32Come on, darling.
14:33Let's go.
14:34I don't even recognize this place anymore.
14:35Alfie, get your bag.
14:36Come on, Hayley.
14:37We're going.
14:38Okay.
14:39Okay.
14:40Let's go.
14:41Okay.
14:42Let's go.
14:43Let's go.
14:44Okay.
14:45Okay.
14:46He's not feeling very well, so me and Alfie are going to wait with you until your mum
15:01gets back, okay?
15:02Okay.
15:03Okay.
15:04Be quiet, you two, because your gran might be asleep.
15:08I'll make you a snack in a minute.
15:14Oh, hiya.
15:15Oh, thank you so much for picking Hayley up for me.
15:16Yeah, that's no bother.
15:17Oh, look at you, mother of the year.
15:18Hardly.
15:19How's Kay?
15:20How's Kay?
15:21I tried to call, but...
15:22Yeah, they're keeping her in for observation.
15:23Is she saying anything?
15:24Just that someone was in the house and turned the gas on.
15:25Oh.
15:26This has all got so out of hand.
15:27Yeah.
15:28But we're just trying to keep our kids safe.
15:29And quite rightly, from what I've heard, I've heard of you.
15:30I've heard of you.
15:31I've heard of you.
15:32I've heard of you.
15:33I've heard of you.
15:34Oh, yeah.
15:35Oh, thank you so much for picking Hayley up for me.
15:36Oh, that's no bother.
15:37Oh, look at you, mother of the year.
15:38Yeah, they're keeping her in for observation.
15:40Is she saying anything?
15:42Just that someone was in the house and turned the gas on.
15:45Oh.
15:46This has all got so out of hand.
15:49Yeah.
15:50But we're just trying to keep our kids safe.
15:52And quite rightly, from what I've been reading...
15:54You've got to read this.
15:55Where's my book?
15:56Ah!
15:57Here it is.
16:04Multiple psychiatrists who worked with Sally before the trial
16:07said she showed no signs of remorse.
16:11And repeatedly lied to the police.
16:13She's born bad.
16:14There's no changing people like that.
16:16Trust me, see it every day at work.
16:18Borrow that, if you like.
16:20I've already got a copy.
16:21I have to keep it hidden.
16:22If Alfie sees it, he's been so unsettled.
16:25Oh.
16:26Mind you, Hayley's been exactly the same.
16:28When she looks like she's okay,
16:30and then she just explodes when she's tired.
16:33I just wish this was all over.
16:35Do you think I moved him here to make everything better?
16:38You know what?
16:39You can't second-guess every decision, you mate.
16:41We're all gonna muck them up at some point.
16:45Can I stay over, Mum?
16:46Please?
16:47It's fine by me.
16:49I've got the weekend off while Nick's away in the city,
16:51and honestly, it'd probably be easier if she's got a friend here.
16:55Are you sure you're gonna be alright to sleep here by yourself?
16:58Yeah.
16:59Yeah.
17:00Okay.
17:02Come on, Alfie, let's go!
17:04You're doing good to have a distraction.
17:06Yeah, thanks.
17:07I was a bit worried he was going backwards in the friend-making department.
17:10Not unlike his mother.
17:13Well, you've got us,
17:14and you know, that's the cream of the crop anyway.
17:16Right, you lot, let's get your beds made up.
17:20Let's go.
17:21Let's go.
17:22Come on later.
17:50Have you come to apologise for your son's behaviour?
18:01We need to talk.
18:07I don't know what you want me to say.
18:08It's the same photo paper as Liam's party invitations.
18:11And?
18:15So, Debbie, what have I ever done to make you hate me so much?
18:18Oh, God, this was just gonna be a bit of silly Halloween fun.
18:21I didn't know you'd fly off the handle like you did.
18:23Alfie's got a knife sticking out of his chest.
18:25Yes, and Hayley's got a noose around her neck,
18:27and Liam's got an axe sticking out of him,
18:29but you didn't notice them, did you?
18:32And what about this?
18:35Well, that one I was just trying to push your buttons.
18:37Why?
18:38Look, I've seen the way Stephen looks at you, Joanna.
18:41What? No, no, don't.
18:42Don't.
18:43Tell me it's in my head.
18:44Don't do that.
18:45Stephen does that, and it's infuriating.
18:49God, honestly, you don't know what I've become.
18:52I smell his clothes when he gets in from work.
18:55The second he's out of the room, I pounce on his phone.
18:57I'm always trying to catch him in a lie.
18:59I've become this hideous, walking cliche,
19:02something I promised I'd never be.
19:04Trust me, I hate myself more than you ever could.
19:07Debbie, I hand on heart have no interest in Stephen.
19:11He's not the lady's man he thinks he is, is he?
19:20He doesn't deserve you.
19:21I know.
19:23Believe me, I know that too.
19:24I'm sorry about the picture.
19:29Of course I don't think you're evil.
19:31I was just upset and wanted to hurt you.
19:35But I know he's lying to me.
19:36I know it.
19:38I know it because he was meant to be here helping me at the Halloween party.
19:41He was meant to help me set up and then he just disappeared.
19:44And he wouldn't tell me where he'd gone.
19:46But he had the nerve to act all hurt that I doubted him.
19:50I won't be made a fool of twice.
19:54I know.
19:55I do know he cheated on you.
20:01Yeah.
20:02Well, everybody knows.
20:04The whole of this stupid town.
20:07It was the juiciest bit of gossip in Plinstered.
20:10And then this Sally McGowan stuff came along.
20:13So that's why you push this Sally McGowan stuff so much?
20:16Well, I wasn't the only one.
20:19And no, I mean, I was genuinely scared for the kids.
20:22This woman's killed before.
20:23I mean, surely she could kill again.
20:27Kate's just lucky she didn't end up like Sonya.
20:53She's a very late.
20:54I guess she did not get her run away.
20:55She's a very late.
20:56She's a very late.
20:57She's a very late.
20:58She fems, she's a very late.
20:59She's a very late.
21:01And there you go.
21:02I'm not sure you're going to work your kids anymore.
21:03Mum, if you've got a question for me, why don't you just ask her?
21:25I know you saw the photo in my studio.
21:29Mum, I think it might be best if we talk by ourselves.
21:31This is about listening.
21:34That's what your call was really about last night, wasn't it?
21:37I know, but...
21:42Would you tell me the truth?
21:45Of course.
21:49Come in.
22:01I wasn't going to say anything, but I keep no secrets from your mother.
22:18I keep no secrets from your mother.
22:25The photo you saw...
22:29...was of me and my son, Henry.
22:31It's the only one I have of him.
22:37So you don't see him?
22:39No.
22:41I'm sure it's the roof.
22:44I have no idea who I am.
22:46You know you don't have to do this.
22:48No.
22:51I'm fine.
22:55It's time to get it out.
22:56I got pregnant when I was 19.
23:07At an age when I was still pretending to like boys.
23:10I have to say, not very well.
23:11I suppose it's what they call date rape nowadays, but...
23:18Back then it was just a bad date.
23:22I don't want to believe I could be pregnant, so...
23:26I didn't do anything.
23:28Until it was too late.
23:30I gave Henry up for adoption when he was still in the womb.
23:49But when he was born, I wasn't so sure.
23:52I was young and...
23:58My parents said it was for the best.
24:06The nurses let me hold him.
24:11Just long enough to whisper his name.
24:17I'm so sorry, Liz.
24:22I was young and...
24:25And stupid and...
24:31I wish her...
24:34Could have taken it back, but I can't.
24:44So now you know.
24:49I hope that satisfies you.
24:53I have to go.
24:58Liz.
25:02Mum.
25:04This is really hard for her.
25:06No, I know.
25:08And it's awful.
25:10But it doesn't mean she isn't silent.
25:12Joanna!
25:15What the hell's got into you?
25:17Michael's worried about you.
25:18I'm worried about you.
25:19You're not right.
25:20You're not right.
25:21Liz.
25:22No, enough.
25:24I know Liz.
25:26As well as I know myself.
25:28Now I'm telling you.
25:30This needs to stop.
25:32For your own good.
25:33To keep your own good.
25:33I don't know.
26:03I don't know.
26:33Thanks for picking me up.
26:47No, I really could have taken a taxi.
26:49No, it's all part of the Pegton service.
26:52Well, thanks, Pegtons.
26:53Well, seeing as you saved my life, I think I could possibly let you sell my house again.
27:00Certainly not staying here now.
27:02Thanks.
27:04I hope that's enough for Stephen.
27:05It's strange to think that someone was there when I was sleeping.
27:13You'd be all right on your own tonight.
27:15Oh, and I'm going to stay with Rachel.
27:17I've got police crawling all over the house looking for fingerprints or whatever it is they look for.
27:21There'll be plenty with all the viewings.
27:23Yeah, well, points for trying, I guess.
27:29Kay, I'm so sorry.
27:32That I said you were Sally McGowan.
27:34It was unforgivable.
27:36Oh, well.
27:38At least you've seen the light.
27:39It was just...
27:45Sorry, but the letter was...
27:51Yeah.
27:54Yeah, I've been trying to get Zoe to...
27:57forgive me for a long time now.
28:01Forgive you for what?
28:02I told her ex where to find her.
28:13I mean, I've no idea how violent he was.
28:18I think she was really trying to shield me.
28:23Anyway...
28:27He almost killed her.
28:29Oh.
28:29And the kids.
28:37And that's why she won't forgive me.
28:41And it's why I lie about where they live.
28:45I'd do anything to make amends at my family.
28:49I'm sorry.
28:50Oh, it's just pointless.
29:09No one's gonna come.
29:10Of course they will.
29:14There's a cancel.
29:17Liz.
29:18Oh, I'll get her the last one.
29:31Mum, can we talk?
29:32Yeah.
29:34Give me a hand with the food.
29:35I've been cooking all morning.
29:47Mum?
29:47There's nothing worse than under catering.
29:50Mum, I need to tell you something.
29:52There's a list.
29:53You check what's on it.
29:55So I don't forget anything.
29:57Hmm?
29:58I can't this way.
29:59Er...
30:00Napkins.
30:01Napkins.
30:02Mum, I think I might have messed up.
30:05Hold this, Liz.
30:06Okay, let's get these in the van.
30:08What were you saying?
30:10Oh.
30:12I've no idea what you're talking about.
30:15And clearly you haven't got a shred of proof.
30:19If you print a word of this, I'll have you for libel.
30:22Liz, who's this?
30:24I'm Zach Cooper from the Post.
30:25I'm just after a quote from Miss Blackthorne.
30:29A quote about what?
30:30Her exhibition?
30:31It doesn't matter.
30:32This gentleman was just leaving.
30:34Well, so you deny the allegations?
30:39Well...
30:40Well, why aren't you aware?
30:42Mum, leave it.
30:43For goodness sake!
30:45Aware of what?
30:46Someone has told this so-called journalist that I am Sully McGowan.
30:59Who?
31:05Mum.
31:10Joanna?
31:10I'm trying.
31:11Have you lost your mind?
31:13After everything Liz told you...
31:14Mum, I don't want to hear it.
31:18You've gone too far this day.
31:20You really have.
31:20Mum, please.
31:22All I have to do is help you.
31:24And this is how you repay me?
31:26Why are you so determined to ruin everything?
31:32I've had it with you.
31:33I've had it with you.
31:56Hi.
31:57Sorry.
31:58I've been a bit...
31:59I can call back.
32:01No, no.
32:02Just give me a minute.
32:10There we go.
32:12Hi.
32:12It's good to see you.
32:13Likewise.
32:15I thought you'd want to know I found something.
32:18A box of Dad's in the attic.
32:20With a bunch of your old stuff, I think, from when you were a kid.
32:22Oh, it won't be mine.
32:24Well, it's...
32:25Definitely not mine.
32:26Yeah.
32:26It's impossible.
32:28The fire destroyed everything.
32:29There was nothing left.
32:30I don't know anything about a fire, but, um...
32:33Look, that's definitely you, right?
32:36And that's Dad.
32:38And I'm assuming that's your mum?
32:42I don't understand.
32:45Can you move that a bit closer?
32:48How's that?
32:50Yeah.
32:52What does it say on my jumper?
32:54Can you read it?
32:54Yeah, sure.
32:55Uh, it says...
32:57Lucy.
32:58And there's Dad's writing on the back.
33:00It says me, Bea, and Lucy.
33:03Why does it say that?
33:04Because it doesn't make any sense.
33:07Well, why don't you ask your mother?
33:11I can send you all this stuff if you want.
33:13Thanks.
33:14Yeah, thank you.
33:14Uh, look, I'll...
33:15I'll call you soon.
33:16Okay?
33:17Okay.
33:18Speak soon.
33:21Lucy.
33:26Where have you been?
33:28Sheffield.
33:34Is that the painting?
33:52I told my mum I think it's Liz.
33:55Yeah?
33:56What did she say?
33:58Hmm.
33:59She's not speaking to me.
34:03Right, well...
34:05I guess she'll have to...
34:08once she's seen this.
34:15The signatures on the back.
34:18Yeah.
34:22Well...
34:26Recognize it?
34:28Is it hers?
34:34Well...
34:34What's wrong?
34:37Joanna.
34:41What is it?
34:44It's not Liz's handwriting.
34:47What do you mean?
34:48Whose is it?
34:51It's my mum's.
34:52No, no, no, it can't be.
35:07It can't be her.
35:09Maybe...
35:09Talia's just got similar handwriting.
35:16That's my mum's handwriting.
35:18I've seen it all my life.
35:19It's said in the book that she grew up in poverty and that she was an only child, but she came from a large extended family.
35:31Well, my grandparents died when I was little, so it can't...
35:33Unless that's just what she told me.
35:37All right, we don't want to start jumping to conclusions, Jo.
35:42Ever since my dad left, it's...
35:45It's always been the two of us.
35:47It's just me and my mum.
35:48No aunts, no uncles, no cousins.
35:53She told me she wasn't bright enough to go to university.
35:55What if she was in prison that whole time?
36:01Oh, my God, Alfie.
36:03We can't let her anywhere near it.
36:05Oh, Jo.
36:05And the fire!
36:08What if the fire never happened?
36:11What if that's why it's always been so hazy in my head?
36:15Why I can't properly remember it?
36:17Seth said he found things that should have burned in the fire, but my dad had them.
36:22So what if she's just told me about the fire and I've pictured it and pictured it until it felt real?
36:28Fuck!
36:29Well, where the hell would she do that?
36:31I don't know!
36:31Oh, my God!
36:33I feel sick.
36:35Right, you stay there.
36:37I need to see her.
36:37What the hell's going on to you?
37:07I told you.
37:11I told you to leave it alone.
37:15And you didn't listen.
37:18You're not right.
37:22I think you just stopped.
37:26For your own good.
37:37I don't know.
37:47I don't know.
37:48I don't know.
37:50I don't know.
38:20It's okay.
38:50Were you ever going to tell me?
39:04No.
39:16You lied to me my whole life.
39:17I didn't...
39:24No.
39:26No.
39:30I don't care to do that.
39:31Because I don't trust a single word that comes out of your mouth.
39:38I know what you did.
39:54I'm sorry.
39:55Do you think that makes it okay?
40:03No, it doesn't.
40:04Of course it doesn't.
40:05I don't know who I am.
40:15Everything about my life...
40:17Did Dad even leave me?
40:20He did.
40:21But it wasn't...
40:23But the fire didn't happen.
40:27No.
40:34You...
40:35You made me...
40:37You made me scared.
40:38You made me scared of losing everything.
40:40I thought it was my fault.
40:44The fire...
40:46Losing Dad.
40:48I never said that.
40:49You didn't have to!
40:54But I had no choice.
40:55I had to make so many decisions.
40:58It was chaos.
40:59They had to move us quickly.
41:02They had to change our names.
41:03They had to change everything.
41:04After your Dad found out who I was...
41:06The fire was the best way...
41:08No!
41:09Stop!
41:11All my life...
41:13I've been terrified of the fire.
41:15I've been terrified of losing everything.
41:19I've been alone.
41:24I'm losing you.
41:25You were my world.
41:30You were all I had.
41:37I don't remember a time...
41:39Get the fuck off me!
41:43I don't remember a time...
41:46Where the world didn't feel dangerous.
41:51Scary.
41:53And wrong.
41:54Where I didn't feel wrong.
41:57I didn't trust my own mind.
41:59And I didn't...
42:00Didn't trust anybody else.
42:02And I didn't know why.
42:06But you did.
42:12You could have told me.
42:15But you let me believe it was me.
42:19You let me believe there was something wrong with me.
42:22And you killed that little boy!
42:24You hurled him away!
42:26And you stabbed him!
42:27You're the fucking monster!
42:33I was a child.
42:37You don't know how it was.
42:39I barely went to school.
42:41I barely had enough to eat.
42:43I had to fend for myself.
42:45I had to fend for myself.
42:45I had enough to...
42:46Did you kill Sonia?
42:56Of course not.
42:58Someone killed Sonia because they thought she was me.
43:01And what about Kay?
43:06Don't you understand?
43:10If someone out there wants to kill Sally McGowan, they want to kill me.
43:14Oh my god, there are times that I've left you alone with Alfie.
43:25You can't think I would ever hurt him.
43:29I don't know you.
43:31I don't know what you're capable of.
43:35God, what if I'm like you?
43:36What if it's in me?
43:39No, you're nothing like me.
43:41You were sweet and good from the day you were born.
43:43Fuck, my whole life's been a lie.
43:46That's not true.
43:50What's my name?
43:59What's my real name?
44:01Fucking tell me!
44:09Lucy.
44:12You were called Lucy.
44:16Lucy.
44:25It's just a name, Joanna.
44:27You should never have had me.
44:32No.
44:32You had no right!
44:34Don't say.
44:36I will do everything I can to protect Alfie.
44:39Yes.
44:48And you'll never see him again.
44:52Don't say.
45:05From the moon.
45:05I...
45:06Madeleine.
45:10Oh my god, it's just a littleocar empiric.
45:11Oh my god.
45:11Oh my god!
45:13Do you know what you're saying?
45:13No.
45:13Nope.
45:13No, I...
45:14No, I...
45:15Transcription by CastingWords
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