- 6 weeks ago
In today’s episode, you’ll learn how to do a mindset reset to unlock the full power of your mind.
Your brain is wired to give you what you want, and today, you’re getting Mel’s science-backed insights and her step-by-step guide for letting go of negative thoughts and redirecting your energy to self-transformation.
If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of negativity, self-doubt, or overthinking, this episode is for you. Mel is sharing 5 powerful, science-backed techniques to get your brain working for you rather than against you. By the end, you’ll see that when you focus your thoughts toward the right things, there’s no stopping you.
Whether you want to build confidence, break free from negative thought loops, or simply create more peace in your life, this episode gives you the life-changing tools to make it happen.
For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/e...
Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: / themelrobbinspodcast
I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode.
In this episode:
0:00 Welcome
00:27 5 Simple Things to Change Your Mindset
13:12 Skill #1: Why Your Brain Needs a Project
25:19 Skill #2: The Science of Spotting Opportunities
33:12 Reprogramming Your Brain for Positivity
36:20 Skill #3: Rewire Your Mind with This Daily Habit
38:39 The Neuroscience of Manifestation
52:12 Skill #4: How to Start & End Your Day with Positivity
57:18 Skill #5: Unlock a Calmer Mind in Just Minutes
01:01:15 Train Your Brain to Work for You
Your brain is wired to give you what you want, and today, you’re getting Mel’s science-backed insights and her step-by-step guide for letting go of negative thoughts and redirecting your energy to self-transformation.
If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of negativity, self-doubt, or overthinking, this episode is for you. Mel is sharing 5 powerful, science-backed techniques to get your brain working for you rather than against you. By the end, you’ll see that when you focus your thoughts toward the right things, there’s no stopping you.
Whether you want to build confidence, break free from negative thought loops, or simply create more peace in your life, this episode gives you the life-changing tools to make it happen.
For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/e...
Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: / themelrobbinspodcast
I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode.
In this episode:
0:00 Welcome
00:27 5 Simple Things to Change Your Mindset
13:12 Skill #1: Why Your Brain Needs a Project
25:19 Skill #2: The Science of Spotting Opportunities
33:12 Reprogramming Your Brain for Positivity
36:20 Skill #3: Rewire Your Mind with This Daily Habit
38:39 The Neuroscience of Manifestation
52:12 Skill #4: How to Start & End Your Day with Positivity
57:18 Skill #5: Unlock a Calmer Mind in Just Minutes
01:01:15 Train Your Brain to Work for You
Category
🛠️
LifestyleTranscript
00:00:00What do you do when it feels like your mind has actually turned against you?
00:00:04There's two reasons why I want to talk to you about this today.
00:00:06First of all, it feels awful when you talk to yourself in a way that just brings you down.
00:00:13And second, your brain is a supercomputer.
00:00:17Your brain can help you get what you want if you know how to use it correctly.
00:00:21And nobody teaches you this stuff. At least nobody taught me.
00:00:24So that's why you and I are going to talk about this today.
00:00:27I'm going to teach you the five simple things that help me and that are going to help you let go of the negative thoughts.
00:00:34Five simple things that create a more positive way of looking at yourself.
00:00:39And by the way, these are also the exact same five things that will train your brain to help you get what you want in life.
00:00:47So whether you're excited to learn this because you're just so sick and tired of beating yourself up and dragging yourself down,
00:00:52or maybe you've got big goals and you're like, Mel, tell me how to get my mind to work for me so that I can get what I want.
00:00:59Well, I'm gonna, because that's exactly what we're talking about today.
00:01:03Five simple things that will redirect all your mental energy toward happiness, success, and self-transformation.
00:01:10Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast.
00:01:18I love what we're going to talk about today.
00:01:21I am so excited that you're here.
00:01:23It's always such an honor to spend time with you and to be together.
00:01:26And if you're a new listener, I just want to take a moment and personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family.
00:01:33I am so glad that you're here.
00:01:35And I also want to point out something.
00:01:37If you're listening to this particular episode because someone shared this with you, that's really cool.
00:01:44It means you have people in your life that care about you.
00:01:47And I just want to take a moment and point that out.
00:01:49And I know that so many of you are going to be sharing this episode with people that you care about.
00:01:53So I also want to thank you for taking the time to listen to something that's not only going to help you create a more positive mindset,
00:02:00and it's going to teach you five simple things that you can do to let go of the negative thoughts and train your mind to work for you.
00:02:09I'm so excited that you're listening to that for yourself and also that you're going to be able to share this resource with people that you care about.
00:02:17Because I know you're the type of person who values your time and you made the time to listen to this.
00:02:22And so if you're sick of beating yourself up, if you're sick of living in a negative place, or if you're just curious,
00:02:28like how do I use simple research-backed methods to actually make my mind work for me?
00:02:35Holy cow, are you in the right place?
00:02:37Because that's exactly what we're going to talk about today.
00:02:39Five simple things that you can do to take control of your mind, let go of negative thoughts,
00:02:45and redirect all your mental energy toward happiness, success, and self-transformation.
00:02:51And so, you know, I always am very intentional about why I want to talk to you about certain things.
00:02:57And what inspired this conversation today is the conversation I had with my daughters.
00:03:02I mean, we always get on FaceTime, the three of us do, typically when one of us is getting ready or we're waking up in the morning.
00:03:09And we were on FaceTime the other day, and as I shared earlier, one of our daughters is 24, the other one is 25.
00:03:16One lives in New York, one lives in LA, I live in Southern Vermont.
00:03:19And so, just like you do with the people you care about, we get on FaceTime all the time, and we're yapping away.
00:03:25And all of a sudden, one of my daughters is like, I'm just in this negative place right now.
00:03:30It's like, nothing I do is enough.
00:03:33Everything that I put on my body doesn't look good.
00:03:36No matter how hard I'm working, I just am constantly trashing myself.
00:03:40And then my other daughter chimed in, and I was horrified to hear that they were both kind of in this place where they're focused on the negative, where their thoughts are kind of turned back against them.
00:03:53And as we're having this conversation, it reminded me of a story that I've shared on this podcast, and I've shared in some interviews that I've done.
00:04:02You know, I've been talking about the Let Them Theory book.
00:04:04And so, you may have heard this story, but it's such an important and compelling story that it bears repeating.
00:04:11And so, here's what happened.
00:04:13My 25-year-old daughter, Sawyer, and I wrote the Let Them Theory book together.
00:04:17And on the press tour, a ton of people have asked me, what was it like to work on a project of that magnitude, writing and researching a book with one of your kids?
00:04:27And it was incredible.
00:04:29I mean, it was absolutely incredible for a number of reasons, to not only get to know her in a completely different way, because I'm her mother, and she's my daughter, and so we have the mother-daughter dynamic.
00:04:40And we're very close, but we've always kind of had this friction.
00:04:45But having this project that we could both focus on and organize ourselves around was super cool, because I got to experience her in a completely different way.
00:04:57And here's what happened.
00:04:58So, when we first started working together, I asked her if she would simply just do this research project about the Let Them Theory, because we had done a podcast episode on it.
00:05:08And there were all of these comments.
00:05:09It had gone crazy viral and really resonated with people around the world.
00:05:13So, I was like, hey, Sawyer, would you just dig into the comments on this podcast episode and the things that you're seeing that people are saying online about the things that I've been sharing, and then come back to me in a couple weeks with an analysis of what, you know, you're seeing.
00:05:29And I expected this to take like two weeks.
00:05:32Now, mind you, I'm very different than my daughter, Sawyer.
00:05:36I mean, I've got like this crazy, artistic, ADHD brain, and Sawyer thinks in Excel spreadsheets.
00:05:43Before working for me and working with me, she worked at a huge cybersecurity firm that is in 44 countries and was in like the digital marketing and marketing tech side of that business.
00:05:56And so, here she is taking on this research project for me on the side, and I'm expecting this thing to take two or three weeks.
00:06:04I'm expecting the result to be like a briefing that is going to be a couple pages long.
00:06:09She hands me, 36 hours later, a 27-page, like I don't even know how to describe the way this thing was organized.
00:06:20It was like columns with color-coded tabs and links to the source material, and she had a two-page synopsis of her analysis of all of the sentiment online, and she had identified all these things that needed further research.
00:06:36I mean, it was jaw-dropping.
00:06:38My brain just doesn't work like that.
00:06:42My brain is like letting a box full of mice loose in your kitchen.
00:06:47Everything scatters in different directions.
00:06:49This was a level of organization and mental horsepower that I actually didn't know she had.
00:07:03I just didn't understand that this was how her brain worked.
00:07:06And when I saw this work product from her generated in 36 hours, I was not only dumbfounded at just how intelligent she is and how differently her brain works, I had this heartbreaking realization.
00:07:22As I looked at the 27 pages, I thought to myself, oh my God, I now know why she's so hard on herself.
00:07:32Because if she doesn't have a project to aim this supercomputer at, she aims it at herself.
00:07:41And I just want that to sit in with you for a minute, that if you have this supercomputer, and you do, you have a supercomputer between your ears.
00:07:54It is designed to solve problems.
00:07:56It is designed to spot patterns.
00:07:58It is designed to learn new things.
00:08:00It is designed to keep you safe.
00:08:02It is designed to analyze things.
00:08:05It is designed to create and to connect and to constantly be growing.
00:08:09That's what your brain is doing.
00:08:11It's doing an incredible job.
00:08:14Because if you're listening to this and you're able to hear these words and absorb this information, or you're watching me on YouTube right now, your supercomputer is engaged.
00:08:23It is processing information.
00:08:25It is filing it away in your brain.
00:08:28There are neural pathways connecting and firing and wiring together.
00:08:31Like, it is doing its thing.
00:08:33It's keeping you breathing.
00:08:34It's keeping your body temperature in a certain place all while you're doing this.
00:08:39And that's just like a scratch of the surface of what that supercomputer is doing.
00:08:44But I want you to really stop and consider what I'm saying.
00:08:49If you have this massive horsepower between your ears, which you do, and you're not aiming it at something like a big project or something that's important or something that's positive, it's true.
00:09:04Isn't it that your brain aims itself back at you?
00:09:10And when this happened with my daughter and I had this realization, it was as if I was meeting her for the first time.
00:09:19I finally understood her at a level that I had never understood her as her mother.
00:09:25And it even revealed a little bit about why I'm hard on myself.
00:09:29I mean, I just described my brain as working like taking a box of mice and letting it loose in your kitchen and everything scatters everywhere.
00:09:36But I have absolutely had those moments, and I know you have too, where you are so focused on something that you're enjoying.
00:09:43Like, it might be something like gardening.
00:09:45It might be that you're a great video gamer, and so you get lost in the moment.
00:09:49It might be when you've played sports or you're playing an instrument.
00:09:51Or it might be when you're out on a hike and you're just so hyper-present.
00:09:56Why?
00:09:57You can get lost in the flow of focus because you're in the present moment because your supercomputer in your mind is aimed at something outside of you.
00:10:09But isn't it true that in those moments where you feel consumed with negativity or you're beating yourself up or you're constantly telling yourself it's never enough or you're seeing nothing but the negative when you look in the mirror,
00:10:26you've just taken all that horsepower that is designed to create and laugh and grow and solve problems and you just aimed it right at you.
00:10:35And so it got me thinking, if you have a brain that is designed to do all these incredible things, solve problems, grow, learn, laugh, create, be present, build, like all these amazing things,
00:10:53how is it that you and I can take that truth?
00:10:56Because I think you're with me.
00:10:57I can kind of feel you with me like, oh, my God, I've never thought about it that way.
00:11:00It's true, Mel.
00:11:01Well, like if I'm engaged in something, I'm not beating myself up.
00:11:05If I'm working on a project that I'm truly focused on, I don't have time to trash my appearance.
00:11:12Huh, never thought about it that way, that this supercomputer can be used for good.
00:11:18And if I'm not using it for good, holy cow, it feels kind of bad because it just aims it right back at me.
00:11:24And just in case, before I move on to these five simple things, because what I'm going to do is I'm going to teach you today.
00:11:30It took me far too long to learn this.
00:11:31I wish they taught this in schools.
00:11:33I wish they taught this in elementary school.
00:11:34That's how simple I'm going to make the science today.
00:11:37There are five simple things that you can do, and you can start doing them as I'm explaining them to you.
00:11:44You can do these things as soon as this episode is over.
00:11:48These are so simple that you can make them part of your day-to-day life.
00:11:51These are ways for you to take control of your mind, that supercomputer in your brain.
00:11:57These are ways for you to let go of the negative thoughts, which is really what happens when your brain directs itself back at you, right?
00:12:07And third, we're going to talk about how do you redirect that power of your mind and aim it at something that energizes you?
00:12:17How do you take all that mental energy, and instead of aiming it at yourself, you actually aim it at something that creates happiness and success and more positivity and self-transformation?
00:12:30That's what's available to you.
00:12:31And I didn't understand any of this until several years ago.
00:12:35And so the second I'm done recording this, I'm sharing this with my two daughters.
00:12:39And before we jump into the first skill, okay, and I've already kind of alluded to it, but before we jump into the first skill, I want to bring in one more visual example.
00:12:51Because I personally find that whenever you talk about the mind or thinking or mindset, it so quickly becomes fuzzy and too intellectual and like too conceptual that I lose interest and I don't know what the hell people are talking about.
00:13:06So I like things that are visual because it helps my brain, the little mice that are running around, to just anchor on something.
00:13:12So we've already talked about the supercomputer and the fact that you've got this brain between your ears that is designed to learn patterns.
00:13:20It's designed to grow.
00:13:21It's designed to fire and wire information together and program it in your mind.
00:13:26It's designed to filter the world.
00:13:28It's actually designed to help you get more of what you want, and we're going to talk more about that in a little bit.
00:13:33And that's a cool thing.
00:13:34Have you ever in your life had the chance to spend time with like a golden retriever or a Labrador, you know, one of these dogs that from the moment they come into this world as a puppy, there is something hardwired in their DNA to just fetch.
00:13:52You throw a ball and you don't even have to train a Labrador or a golden retriever or some of these other kind of hunting breeds, I guess they call them.
00:13:59They will just go right after that ball that you throw, bring it right back.
00:14:03You throw it again, they bring it right back.
00:14:06It's like they are programmed to chase down a ball that you throw.
00:14:11They are programmed to chase it down and to retrieve.
00:14:15Guess what?
00:14:16Your brain is designed to do the exact same thing.
00:14:21I'm going to say that again.
00:14:22Your brain is like a Labrador retriever or a golden retriever.
00:14:26It is hardwired to actually chase down something that you direct it at.
00:14:31And so I love this visual because the first thing that I'm going to talk about today of the five things that I'm going to teach you is one of the things that helps you get out of that negative rut where your brain is aimed at you and you start trashing yourself down, right?
00:14:50It is to actually give your brain something to chase down and focus on.
00:14:57Think about it like you need a project or think about like the project is the ball.
00:15:03So with a dog that loves to chase a ball, you take that ball, you throw it in whatever direction, that dog forgets that you exist.
00:15:11That dog is maniacally focused on that ball.
00:15:14That dog will literally run over a child in order to get the ball, get the ball, get the ball because it's hardwired to focus on that and then it brings it back.
00:15:25Your brain does the same thing.
00:15:27Your brain is just sitting around like a bored Labrador waiting for you to pick up a ball and put it in motion, waiting for you to throw something out into the future and say, go get it.
00:15:38Your brain loves projects.
00:15:40You know this.
00:15:41It wants something to gnaw on.
00:15:42It is bored.
00:15:43Like have you ever noticed too, like if you got a dog that needs a job, if it doesn't have a job, what does it do?
00:15:48It chews your slippers.
00:15:49It starts gnawing on the corners of your cabinets.
00:15:52Next thing you know, it's naughty and it's peeing in the corner.
00:15:54Why?
00:15:55Because it's got all this mental energy and this desire to have a project and to chase down a ball and you're not feeding that desire.
00:16:03Your brain's the same way.
00:16:04It needs a job.
00:16:05And that brings me to skill number one.
00:16:09One of the best things that you can do is understand that giving yourself a project or a goal or some sort of ball that you can put in play in your life,
00:16:21it is one of the best ways to direct your brain at something other than you.
00:16:27It's one of the best ways to start to leverage the natural capacity that your mind has to solve problems and to actually chase something down.
00:16:36And this isn't just my suggestion.
00:16:39This comes from not only research that I'm going to walk you through, but it comes from something that world-renowned, PhD, New York Times bestselling author Martha Beck has been talking about.
00:16:51And you may have seen her talking about this.
00:16:52It's the basis of her new book and there's so much research that I'm also going to share with you after you hear this clip.
00:16:59But you're going to hear Martha Beck talking about the fact that, you know, when you're in an anxious state or you're ruminating,
00:17:06we now know in the way that you and I are talking about this, the supercomputer is now aimed at you.
00:17:10You're up in your head.
00:17:11Instead of, like, being focused on the world and solving problems, you're now tearing yourself down.
00:17:17You've made yourself a problem, right?
00:17:19The other way you can think about this is that Labrador Retriever is chewing on the slipper and being self-destructive because it's got nothing to do.
00:17:27She had this thesis in this book.
00:17:28Well, if you're in that state, being anxious and negative, it shuts down your ability to problem solve.
00:17:36We know this based on the research.
00:17:38We also know it based on common sense.
00:17:39It shuts down your ability to be creative.
00:17:41Well, she thought, well, wait a minute.
00:17:44Does creativity and problem solving actually shut down anxiety and rumination and being negative?
00:17:50Turns out it does.
00:17:52And so here's Martha Beck sharing this idea on the Today Show.
00:17:56And the idea is so exciting and it's also so simple and obvious to understand that you're going to hear Martha talking first
00:18:05and then you're going to hear the Today Show anchors jump in because they totally get it.
00:18:08And then what we're going to do after you listen to this is you and I are going to unpack what she said so that you can apply this first skill.
00:18:16Take a listen.
00:18:16And when we've known forever that anxiety shuts down creativity.
00:18:21So I started thinking, what if it works the other way too?
00:18:24Oh, creativity shuts down anxiety.
00:18:25What if creativity shuts down anxiety?
00:18:26Oh, that's interesting.
00:18:27So if you, like if I take a client and I do something very simple like plan a meal for tomorrow.
00:18:32Right.
00:18:32So say you're having a dinner party, start planning.
00:18:35Right.
00:18:36Right now.
00:18:36Get your brain start to think of I'm going to do steak on the Traeger grill and I'm going to serve it with this and what would go good with that.
00:18:41Now I'm thinking in a different pattern.
00:18:43And your anxiety is quiet.
00:18:45And it does shut down.
00:18:46Did that work just now?
00:18:46Yes, it does work.
00:18:47It works like that.
00:18:48Yeah.
00:18:48Same thing with knitting or with your hands or where you're figuring something out.
00:18:51Absolutely.
00:18:51So it's anything creative that you should be, you should start doing.
00:18:55Yeah.
00:18:55And people say, I'm not creative.
00:18:57I can't do it.
00:18:58I'm not creative.
00:18:58Right.
00:18:58That's still in the anxiety part.
00:19:00Just make something you love.
00:19:02Try using your hands, your senses, cook, garden.
00:19:05If you like to draw or paint or do whatever.
00:19:09Just stop and consider what she's saying.
00:19:12It's true, isn't it?
00:19:14That when you're idle, your thoughts turn negative.
00:19:18When you've got nothing that you're focused on, the supercomputer focuses on you.
00:19:24And because it's a problem-solving machine, it typically is looking for problems.
00:19:29And then it turns you into one.
00:19:31And so I love what Martha Beck is saying because she's basically saying, anytime you're worried,
00:19:37anytime you're negative, it's a sign that your mind is now turning you into a problem.
00:19:42And we can change this by picking up a ball and, in her language, by doing something creative
00:19:50with your hands.
00:19:51She talked about how, like, just start planning the meal for tonight.
00:19:54Open up a cookbook and start flipping through it.
00:19:57And now what are you doing?
00:19:58You've thrown a ball.
00:19:59Your mind is now focused on solving the problem.
00:20:03The problem is no longer you.
00:20:04The problem is what are we going to create for dinner?
00:20:07It's a simple idea that has so much research in it.
00:20:11In fact, I want you to hear this research because it's not just about creativity.
00:20:17It's about the power of having a project that you can aim your mind at.
00:20:23This is this revelation that I had about my daughter that, oh, my God, like, she's got
00:20:27so much horsepower upstairs.
00:20:29And so do you that if you're not aiming it at something, it's going to come back at you.
00:20:33And I want to share some of this research with you because it's actually very exciting
00:20:37about simply having a project.
00:20:40And it could be a project like, I've got a project this weekend that I know that I'm
00:20:44going to get lost in.
00:20:45And that is now that my husband and I are empty nesters, it's time for me to go through
00:20:49the closets in the bedroom upstairs and donate what is just being used as long-term storage
00:20:54by our adult children, right?
00:20:56And just kind of reclaim the space.
00:20:59That's a project.
00:21:00That will keep my mind occupied, which will keep me from turning it against myself and
00:21:06ruminating.
00:21:06And the research bears this out.
00:21:08Check this out.
00:21:09Simply having a project, according to research done at the University of Exeter, turns down
00:21:16negative self-talk.
00:21:18What's so interesting about this is that they found in this research study that when you have
00:21:24a project and you start chipping away at it, I walk upstairs, I open up the closet, I start
00:21:29sorting through what's in there, that the small steps literally rewire your brain away
00:21:37from rumination.
00:21:39It makes so much sense when you realize, well, that's because I am focusing my brain on something.
00:21:44I'm putting a ball in play instead of having it aim it at me.
00:21:48And when you don't have a project, you feel like you're not making progress towards anything,
00:21:54which means you have more negative emotions.
00:21:59So it works in the positive and the negative.
00:22:01And I think you can kind of see that when you're not really working on anything, you got
00:22:06an idle mind.
00:22:08And that's not going to come to a lot of good.
00:22:10Here's another research study from the University of Michigan and the University of Oxford.
00:22:14This one was published in a journal called Neuron.
00:22:17Having a project also boosts happiness because having something to focus on actually increases
00:22:25dopamine, which we know is kind of this neurochemical that gets released in your mind that is all
00:22:30about drive and it helps you focus.
00:22:34And your brain is going to release dopamine, not when you clean out the closet, not when you
00:22:39finish writing the song, not when you finish paying your bills, not when dinner is
00:22:44finished cooking, but rather as you're working toward it.
00:22:48How cool is that?
00:22:49And it kind of makes sense because if you take as fact that your brain's a supercomputer that
00:22:54wants to solve problems, that wants to engage in something, that wants to build and design
00:22:58and create and have a project to focus on, when you provide that to the supercomputer between
00:23:05your ears, your supercomputer is a little happier because it's able to chase a ball.
00:23:11It's able to do what it's designed to do.
00:23:13Here's another study from Pennsylvania University that having a project to focus your brain power
00:23:19on strengthens your overall mental health.
00:23:25Goals give you direction and purpose.
00:23:28Goals help you navigate challenges because it actually gives your mind something to focus
00:23:37on, which helps you build resilience against stress and emotional struggles.
00:23:43And you know what's interesting about that is that I know based on what I'm seeing in the
00:23:49inbox as your fellow listeners are writing in from around the world, that you're experiencing
00:23:57just unprecedented levels of stress.
00:23:59And we know that based on the medical experts that we talk to on this show all the time, that
00:24:04the levels of chronic stress that people are experiencing are at unprecedented levels.
00:24:08And it would have never occurred to me that one of the ways for you to not allow the stress
00:24:17to put you in an even more negative state would be to have a project, something like a painting
00:24:23to do or a closet to clean out or like some sort of something that you're working on.
00:24:28Because that means that even in a stressed out state, you have something that you can aim
00:24:33your brain at so that your tired, stressed out brain doesn't start turning you into an
00:24:38even bigger problem.
00:24:40I just love this research.
00:24:42So number one, what you're learning is that in order to take control of your mind, in order
00:24:48to let go of negative thoughts, in order to redirect your energy toward happiness, success
00:24:53and self-transformation, skill number one is put a ball in play.
00:24:58Find a project.
00:24:59And if you can make it creative, if you can use your hands, even better.
00:25:04Because when you focus that supercomputer in your brain on something outside of you, it
00:25:09is happy and it's excited and it's now engaged and that's going to leave you with space that
00:25:17is going to feel better for you.
00:25:18So that's skill number one.
00:25:20Skill number two is something that you may have heard me talk about before.
00:25:24This is a habit of mine.
00:25:26I use it every single day in my life.
00:25:29I am not kidding.
00:25:30It is a habit that has helped me wire my brain for success because it is a way that I train
00:25:36my mind to see what I want to see.
00:25:40And seeing what you want to see in the world, it's not some woo-woo, stupid, like nonsense.
00:25:47This is hard science.
00:25:48I actually wrote about this in my New York Times bestselling book, The High Five Habit.
00:25:52And so you may have heard about this before, but even so, it's a fabulous reminder.
00:25:56So what is skill number two?
00:25:59Skill number two, my daily habit, is look for hearts.
00:26:02I know what you're thinking.
00:26:04What does that mean, Mel?
00:26:06Look for hearts is a very simple game that you're going to play that helps you train your
00:26:11brain.
00:26:11And it's very simple.
00:26:13Today, as you're going about your life, I want you to look for a naturally occurring
00:26:20heart shape somewhere around you.
00:26:23That's it.
00:26:25You are going to tell your brain, as stupid as it sounds, brain, today, somewhere in the
00:26:30world, I want you to show me a shape of a heart.
00:26:35It could be a leaf on a tree.
00:26:37It could be a stain on a sidewalk.
00:26:39It could be the shape of the foam on your coffee today.
00:26:43It might be a spot on a dog at the dog park.
00:26:46In fact, you can do it right now as long as you're not driving a car.
00:26:49I want you to just look around the environment that you're in.
00:26:53I mean, I'm so trained to do this now that I see them everywhere.
00:26:57And I want you to just kind of scan the environment and see if somewhere around you, I've already
00:27:02spotted two where I am right now.
00:27:04I'm going to describe them in just a second.
00:27:06See if you can see a heart shape.
00:27:08Is there a shadow on the wall?
00:27:11Is there some discoloration in the brick?
00:27:13Like right now, as I'm looking straight around the room that I am in above the garage here
00:27:19in Southern Vermont, I can see that on the whiteboard over on the other side of the room,
00:27:24we have a series of magnets and they're all clustered at the bottom of the whiteboard.
00:27:29And a bunch of the magnets are together and they're actually in the shape of a heart.
00:27:34I'm looking down on the carpet and I see that there's a stain on the carpet, a little
00:27:37like, I don't know what, maybe it's cat hair.
00:27:39I can't quite tell what that is, but it's also in the shape of a heart.
00:27:44Every time I go on a walk in the woods, I see rocks, I see tree stumps, I see them everywhere.
00:27:50So you're probably thinking, why on earth is this important?
00:27:54Well, let me explain the science.
00:27:56In order to explain the science, I want to teach you about a part of your brain, the
00:28:00supercomputer between your ears, that has a specific name.
00:28:04And that part of your brain is called the reticular activating system.
00:28:09Okay, reticular activating system.
00:28:13I like to call it the R-A-S for short because reticular activating system is a mouthful and
00:28:22you don't need to know that.
00:28:23You just need to know that there is this filter in your brain.
00:28:28I think about it almost like there's a hairnet that's over my brain.
00:28:32It's like the bouncer for your brain.
00:28:34And what is this reticular activating system doing?
00:28:39Well, it is deciding all day long what information gets into your conscious mind and what information
00:28:47is being filtered out of your conscious mind.
00:28:50That is what it is doing.
00:28:51And there's a reason why you need this filter.
00:28:53So we had an amazing neuroscientist and neurosurgeon from Stanford that appeared on the Mel Robbins
00:29:00podcast by the name of Dr. Jim Doty.
00:29:03So he is not only somebody who is a neuroscientist, he is a neurosurgeon, meaning he actually operates
00:29:10on people's brain.
00:29:11And he is a world-renowned expert in the neuroscience of manifestation.
00:29:16And he told me when I was talking to him about the science, check this out, do you know that
00:29:23there are six to 10 million bits of information coming at your mind, body, and spirit every
00:29:30single second?
00:29:32Six to 10 million.
00:29:35Your brain can't handle that.
00:29:37Neither can your body.
00:29:39Dr. Doty says that your conscious brain can only handle between 50 and 100 bits.
00:29:45And 99% of that, that it can handle, is all stuff that's about how your body operates.
00:29:52So we're talking teeny amounts of information is actually getting to your conscious brain.
00:30:00What's super interesting about this is that means that a massive amount, a bazillion amounts
00:30:06of bits of information are bombarding you, you're just not aware of it.
00:30:11And the reason why you're not aware of it is because of this hairnet on your brain, the
00:30:15bouncer, the reticular activating system.
00:30:19Its job is to decide, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, of the six to 10 million bits coming at
00:30:23me a million miles an hour, what's actually important?
00:30:27Now here's where this gets interesting.
00:30:28What's important is what you tell your reticular activating system is important.
00:30:38This is so cool.
00:30:40This is a treasure trove.
00:30:42This is how you take control of your mind.
00:30:44If you're interested in achieving your goals and making more money and having a positive
00:30:48mindset, understanding that your brain is trying to help you.
00:30:52And if you're not helping your brain by telling your brain what's important to it, it's going
00:30:59to filter out things that could be helping you.
00:31:02And that brings me back to this daily habit that I have.
00:31:06Anytime I'm on a walk, I'm looking for hearts because it's a way for me to prove to myself
00:31:12that the filter's actually working.
00:31:15And you're going to be startled when you see this.
00:31:17You are literally going to go out for a walk today or you're going to be out and about in
00:31:20your life.
00:31:21And maybe you've already seen something.
00:31:23Maybe you've already seen a heart as you've been listening to me or watching on YouTube
00:31:27right now, that you've seen this heart.
00:31:29And the reason why you saw it is because you and I are talking about it.
00:31:32It's sort of like, you know, another example I can give you about how this works is, you
00:31:36know how social media is dynamically filtering things based on what it either watches you
00:31:43watching on social or it hears you talking to somebody about something.
00:31:47And, you know, you're talking about maybe bird feeders.
00:31:49And next thing you know, there's freaking ads for bird feeders all over your social media.
00:31:53Well, that's because social media has a filter and it's dynamic.
00:31:58Your brain has the same thing.
00:31:59And so this is a habit looking for hearts that you can do all day, every day to strengthen
00:32:06this filter.
00:32:07Every time you see a heart, here's what I want you to do.
00:32:09I want you to stop and just take it in.
00:32:14I want you for a minute in a very calm way to see this heart that you see as a sign from
00:32:24the universe or God or goddesses or whatever you believe in, that the world is actually
00:32:30trying to help you.
00:32:33That there are signs all around you and you, just like I used to, you're just so up in
00:32:40your head and your computer is aimed against you that you're not programming it correctly
00:32:47to see the positive signs that are around you.
00:32:51If you can tell your brain to look for a heart, you can actually learn to use this habit to
00:32:57look for other things too.
00:32:59I mean, one of the reasons why I'm so successful in business and why it appears from the outside
00:33:04that I'm a super lucky person is because I understand all of the things I'm teaching
00:33:11you today.
00:33:12I have learned how to take that supercomputer between my head and stop aiming it at myself
00:33:17and aim it out and to program it to help me spot coincidences and to help me spot things
00:33:24that are going my way.
00:33:25Because when you start to spot things that are going your way, you start to spot more
00:33:29things that are going your way.
00:33:30Just like you're going to notice that, oh my gosh, Mel, now that I saw one heart, I see
00:33:35them everywhere.
00:33:36Same here.
00:33:37Why?
00:33:38Because I've told my brain to.
00:33:40You know, if you've read The High Five Habit, chapter seven of the book is about this programming.
00:33:47And one of the things that I love since introducing the world to The High Five Habit and writing
00:33:52this book is that every day on social media, people post hearts that they find.
00:33:58This is on page 91 of the book.
00:33:59It's just plastered with hearts that people have found.
00:34:02And it's evidence that your mind can be trained.
00:34:06Now, here's something I want to read to you, okay?
00:34:09Because you may be thinking, look, I got huge problems, Mel.
00:34:13The negativity is justified because there's a lot of things going on in my life.
00:34:18And so I want to say something right now, looking for hearts is not going to make your
00:34:23problems go away.
00:34:24Not at all.
00:34:26What looking for hearts does is it actually leverages the power of your mind to problem
00:34:33solve and to start to work for you.
00:34:36And I got to start with baby steps here.
00:34:38Like if you can't find a heart as you're taking a walk outside tomorrow, you're not going to
00:34:44believe that your brain and the filter in it is there for you to use to your advantage.
00:34:52You know, as I write in this book, you know, the point of this exercise is to train your
00:34:57mind to spot things you currently block out and prove to yourself that you can make your
00:35:01brain work for you by telling it what is important to you.
00:35:06And if you want to make a lot of money, you better train your mind to see opportunities
00:35:10and deals that other people walk right by, just like the stupid heart rock on the ground.
00:35:17Because if you miss the heart rock because you're not looking for it, then you're going
00:35:22to miss the opportunities and deals that are right there that you currently aren't seeing
00:35:27because you're not looking for it either.
00:35:30And the only reason why you're not looking for it is because you haven't made this a project.
00:35:37And the way you can start doing this is by looking for hearts.
00:35:42It's my way to prove to you that this filter is there and it is waiting for you to program
00:35:47it.
00:35:48And it's a simple thing.
00:35:49You can do this with your kids.
00:35:51You can do it anywhere that you live in the world.
00:35:53You can do this as a way to start to understand that, wow, my mind is very flexible.
00:35:59Wow, there are things that I see now that I've never seen.
00:36:03Nothing changed in the outside world.
00:36:06What changed is the filter on the supercomputer because you programmed it.
00:36:13And you can train yourself in how you program it by simply looking for hearts.
00:36:18How freaking cool is that?
00:36:20And that brings me to tool number three.
00:36:22And tool number three is all about manifesting.
00:36:26And again, just like looking for hearts, this is not fairy dust and woo-woo.
00:36:31This is hard science.
00:36:33And I mentioned a Stanford neurosurgeon and neuroscientist by the name of Dr. Jim Doty.
00:36:40Well, I'm going to bring Dr. Jim Doty into this part of our brain training session.
00:36:46Because as I said earlier, he's not only a professor, a New York Times bestselling author,
00:36:51he's a world-renowned expert on the neuroscience of manifestation.
00:36:56He also is a neurosurgeon who operates on the brain.
00:37:00I mean, this guy understands the science.
00:37:03And he has this extraordinary way of explaining what manifestation is.
00:37:08And manifestation, in the words of Dr. Doty, is just, quote,
00:37:12the ability to take an intention and embed it into your subconscious in a manner such that
00:37:22it has the greatest likelihood to occur.
00:37:26In other words, Dr. Doty teaches people around the world, and he's about to teach you this,
00:37:34that you can, through intentional actions, fire and wire your neuropathways together
00:37:41to make your supercomputer in your brain help you.
00:37:46That's what this is.
00:37:47Manifesting isn't magic and woo-woo and fairy dust.
00:37:51Manifesting is programming your brain so that it helps you get what you want in life.
00:37:58And there is so much amazing hard science here.
00:38:01And I'm going to bring Dr. Doty into the conversation.
00:38:04Because Dr. Doty is not only going to explain this at a scientific level for you,
00:38:09and he's going to talk about the parts of the brain that you use when you want to intentionally
00:38:14program your brain to work for you.
00:38:17But he is also going to walk you through the five simple steps that he uses.
00:38:23I'm talking Stanford's neuroscientist and neurosurgeon, the guy who wrote the book on
00:38:27the science of manifesting, is going to walk you through the five things he does every morning
00:38:32in his manifesting practice so that you can learn how to do this too.
00:38:36And the way that he describes it, it just makes so much sense.
00:38:40So it is my absolute honor to be able to introduce you to Dr. Jim Doty and have you spend a little
00:38:48bit of time learning from him.
00:38:50Check this out.
00:38:51If you have an intention, you take a pencil, you write it down, you're actually doing something
00:38:58physical, tactile, then you read it silently, then you read it aloud, then you visualize that,
00:39:08and you do that over and over and over again.
00:39:11What that will do is then embed that into your subconscious.
00:39:15And then these different cognitive brain networks get activated.
00:39:20Now, can we unpack that just a minute?
00:39:21Sure.
00:39:21Because everyone that listens to this loves to make sure that they just got the instructions
00:39:28from you, Dr. Doty, because I'm like hanging on every word.
00:39:32And so there were a couple steps to that because you had the physical pencil, you had the act
00:39:39of writing, you had this moment where if you're watching on YouTube, you saw it, but if you're
00:39:45listening, let me describe it.
00:39:46He sat back in his chair, he put his hands kind of in prayer at his chest, closed his
00:39:50eyes, and he started talking about repeating the thought.
00:39:54Is that the chain of events that you do to encode it in your mind?
00:39:59Yes, absolutely.
00:40:00So will you walk us through it one more time?
00:40:04Yes.
00:40:04So again, what you want to do is to use all of your sensory organs as much as possible
00:40:10to embed that intention.
00:40:12So by writing it down, by reading it aloud, by visualizing it, that creates the process
00:40:18where this gets embedded into your subconscious.
00:40:22And what happens is once you get this embedded, it activates different parts of your brain.
00:40:29And without getting too technical, one is something called the default mode network.
00:40:34Is that the same thing as the reticular activating system?
00:40:37No.
00:40:38Okay.
00:40:38But they're related.
00:40:39Okay.
00:40:39So the default mode network.
00:40:41Yes.
00:40:42So this is what happens when your mind wanders or you're daydreaming.
00:40:49And it's self-referential because it's internally focused, but it's where you create the narrative
00:40:56of who you are or what you want.
00:40:58So if you have negative self-talk, if you ruminate, if you are like, I'm never good enough,
00:41:04nothing works out for me, things like that don't happen to a person like me.
00:41:09I can never get it right.
00:41:11That is in the default mode network.
00:41:13Oh, absolutely.
00:41:13And that gets really activated and results in rumination for some people.
00:41:17Can I ask you another question?
00:41:19Because one of the things that you said at the very, very beginning is you painted this gorgeous
00:41:26picture of the ability to leverage the remarkable power of your brain to help you get what you
00:41:37truly desire in life, to help you live in heart mode.
00:41:41And you said, it's just about believing it.
00:41:47And part of the reason why we have trouble believing it is because of the default mode
00:41:54network and all of these stories you've repeated over and over and over again.
00:41:59Is that fair to say?
00:42:01No, that's exactly correct.
00:42:03And we can reprogram or we can lay down a new track?
00:42:07Oh, absolutely.
00:42:08And it's available 24-7 and it doesn't matter what's happened to you before.
00:42:13You know, so many people get fixated.
00:42:15Well, I don't deserve this because of.
00:42:17We all deserve it.
00:42:18So, once this gets embedded and you create the narrative of who you want to be or how
00:42:26you see yourself, what you're doing is you're creating salience, okay?
00:42:32What's that word mean?
00:42:33It means making it important, okay?
00:42:36Once something is important, this activates what we call our task positive network.
00:42:43And the task positive network has three parts.
00:42:46It has the salience network, it has the attention network, and then it has the executive control
00:42:53network.
00:42:55And once something is salient, what you're basically saying is this deserves my attention.
00:43:03And by doing it in a very specific way, then that becomes important to you.
00:43:09That gets embedded into your subconscious as something to pay attention to.
00:43:13Once that is defined as something important to you, then that activates your attention network
00:43:20so that then you cognitively focus your attention on whatever that intention is.
00:43:28Once those are activated, and I use the analogy in the book, it's as if you have a file cabinet
00:43:37and you put this file into the file cabinet that says important stuff.
00:43:42And once that is there, then the attention network is activated, which is, as an example,
00:43:47a bloodhound that says, okay, now there's something there.
00:43:51I need to track this down and figure out what's going on here.
00:43:54Then you activate the bloodhound, and then that gets released.
00:43:58And then once that attention is focused, then it starts looking around through all the possibilities
00:44:06in your environment.
00:44:08And as soon as it identifies one, then your executive control network is activated, which
00:44:14in some ways is the thing that chases down what is in your subconscious.
00:44:18And this is how it works.
00:44:21There is no magic here.
00:44:22This is fundamentally basic neuroscience, and it's something that we all have the ability
00:44:28to master by just doing these techniques whereby you are able to embed your intention.
00:44:36You do it over and over.
00:44:37And it's not as if one and done.
00:44:40And what I mean by that is some people wake up, and this is like a New Year's resolution.
00:44:43I'm going to do this January 1st.
00:44:46And then January 1st comes, and you already fail the first day.
00:44:49You have to not have excessive expectations at first.
00:44:54What I mean by that is these are based on habit.
00:44:56What happens with habit?
00:44:58You start small.
00:44:59You don't sit there and say, I'm going to lose 100 pounds in the next month.
00:45:03You say, I'm going to try to modify my diet where I'm not drinking sodas.
00:45:08That's the first little one.
00:45:10And each of these little wins strengthens you to actually then do the big thing ultimately.
00:45:16So you don't start by running a marathon on day one.
00:45:20You start by getting up out of bed and walking around the block.
00:45:23Don't you just love Dr. Jim Doty?
00:45:25I freaking love him.
00:45:27I always feel smarter when I listen to him.
00:45:30And he just shared so much that I want to unpack it all with you, and I want to put it in the language
00:45:36that you and I have been using since we started this conversation.
00:45:40Because what Dr. Jim Doty just did as a neuroscientist and a neurosurgeon is he broke down absolutely
00:45:48every aspect of what I've been talking to you about.
00:45:52Did you catch that?
00:45:53But he put it in terms of the different networks and the functioning of your brain.
00:45:58And so I want to just highlight and repeat a couple things, okay?
00:46:02So as he explained the way that your mind worked, and he went through the mechanics of manifesting,
00:46:11which as he said the same thing I said, this is not woo-woo, it's not fairy dust, this is
00:46:16hard science.
00:46:17This is intentionally embedding information in your brain.
00:46:21And by intentionally embedding information in your brain, you are activating certain aspects
00:46:30of your brain to work for you.
00:46:32And I'm going to unpack all of this because he basically just explained why having projects
00:46:39is super important because it activates the task positive network in your brain.
00:46:46He referred to it as a bloodhound.
00:46:48I called it a golden retriever.
00:46:49It's that instinct, that executive functioning, that focusing of your attention on something
00:46:56outside of you.
00:46:57That's a good thing.
00:46:58And you can train your brain using the method he just talked to us to be able to do it,
00:47:06which is how you're going to train your brain to work for you.
00:47:08You're going to get that bloodhound or that golden retriever to chase down what you want
00:47:12instead of turning itself at you.
00:47:15And he went through this process, and I'm going to repeat it for you, whereby,
00:47:19you can intentionally, through repetition, and by being intentional, you can encode a default
00:47:29way of thinking.
00:47:30And it could be anything.
00:47:31I'm going to give you an example from my own life.
00:47:34So I used to be a person that struggled a lot with anxiety.
00:47:38I used to see the negative.
00:47:39I used to be constantly worried.
00:47:41What if this happens?
00:47:41What if that happens?
00:47:42What if the other thing happens?
00:47:44And I don't think like that anymore.
00:47:47I have used the tools that we've been talking about to reprogram my brain to have a different
00:47:55default thinking, which is I always think either, well, what if this all works out?
00:48:00Because I don't know in a moment of worry whether it works out or not.
00:48:04So why not consider, as your default, what if this works out?
00:48:09I also, as a default, have programmed into my mind, I believe that this moment is leading
00:48:15me somewhere that I'm meant to go.
00:48:17It's either teaching me something or it's giving me a skill or a lesson that I need.
00:48:22And I don't know why I need this.
00:48:23But at some point in the future, I believe that I'll look back on this moment and I'll
00:48:29know why this happened.
00:48:30It's a way to kind of have faith and this kind of trust and assurance in myself to be
00:48:36able to face life's challenges.
00:48:38I have intentionally programmed that into my mind.
00:48:41How do you do it?
00:48:42You do it exactly as Dr. Doty just walked you through.
00:48:45He said, you take out a pencil.
00:48:47You write down what you want to believe.
00:48:49I believe I'm capable of success.
00:48:51I believe I am worthy of love.
00:48:53I believe that the love of my life is around the corner.
00:48:56I believe that this moment is temporary and the future is brighter.
00:49:00I believe that I'm stronger than I think.
00:49:02You can write down anything you want to believe about yourself.
00:49:05You can write down that I'm beautiful.
00:49:07You could write down that I'm working very hard and my hard work is going to pay off.
00:49:12And all I need to do is just keep my head down and keep being a kind person and working
00:49:17hard and things are going to work out.
00:49:18And Dr. Doty says, take out a pencil, write down the statement that you want to believe
00:49:24about yourself.
00:49:26After you write it down, you're going to read it to yourself.
00:49:29Then you're going to say it out loud.
00:49:31And what did he just teach us?
00:49:33That if you do this over and over, you wake up every day and you pick up the pencil and
00:49:38you write it down and you read it to yourself and then you read it out loud through repetition,
00:49:42you are intentionally embedding this belief about yourself.
00:49:48And he then explained to you, I mean, I think this is so exciting, the different parts of
00:49:53your brain networks that are activated.
00:49:55Number one, by writing it down, you're making it important.
00:49:59Number two, through the repetition, you're actually embedding the intention in your subconscious,
00:50:05right?
00:50:05What does that do?
00:50:07Well, remember when we talked about looking for hearts?
00:50:09It's the same thing.
00:50:12By telling yourself that you want to see a heart, you're making it salient.
00:50:17You're making it important.
00:50:19You're telling the reticular activity system that seeing hearts is important to you.
00:50:24Same thing with a positive attitude.
00:50:26Same thing with believing that things are going to work out for you.
00:50:29Isn't that kind of cool?
00:50:30So now the filter changes because you're embedding this.
00:50:34And then what happens?
00:50:36He talked about the focus and attention network.
00:50:38That's this filter.
00:50:40That's you directing the supercomputer in your mind to filter out anything that is unrelated
00:50:46to this thing you want to believe.
00:50:48And for me, it's literally, what if it all works out?
00:50:51It's this belief that if I just show up every day and I do my best and I'm a kind person and
00:50:57I just do the reps and put in the work, eventually things work out.
00:51:00And I do believe that because I have used this process to embed that belief.
00:51:06And then what happens is when you use the process, you make it important through repetition,
00:51:13you embed it in your mind.
00:51:14You then are changing the RAS, which is all about focus and attention.
00:51:20Now you're triggering what he called the task positive network.
00:51:23That's the bloodhound in your mind.
00:51:25I call it the golden retriever.
00:51:27Boom.
00:51:28It's now actively chasing down anything that is related to this thing that you want.
00:51:34That's how it works based on the science.
00:51:37And that also covers all of the things we've talked about so far.
00:51:41Having a project and the research about how that aims your brain at something rather than
00:51:46having your problem solving aimed at you.
00:51:48Number two, we talked about looking for hearts.
00:51:52And this is exactly what Dr. Doty is talking about when he's talking about embedding a belief
00:51:58and changing the filter and activating this task network to find things for you.
00:52:03Third, we've just talked about the neuroscience and the mechanics of manifesting and how you
00:52:07cement in new thinking and you program your brain to work for you.
00:52:12Fourth, let's jump into this one because this is a simple suggestion for how you can put it all
00:52:19together and this suggestion is called how you direct your thinking with one sentence.
00:52:27And what I love about this skill is this comes from another world-renowned medical doctor and one
00:52:35of the world's leading experts on the brain itself.
00:52:37I'm talking about none other than Dr. Daniel Amen.
00:52:41He has scanned 225,000 brains, including mine.
00:52:45He has scanned brains of patients from 155 countries.
00:52:50Not only that, but he's written 12 New York Times bestselling books on the brain and brain health.
00:52:55He is a psychiatrist for 40 years.
00:52:57He is the founder and chief executive officer of the Amen Brain Clinics.
00:53:02And he's also the founder of Change Your Brain Foundation, Brain MD, and the Amen University.
00:53:07This is a busy guy, which means he knows not only about brain health, he knows how to leverage
00:53:14the power of your brain.
00:53:16And so I wanted you to get to learn from him.
00:53:19This is something that he shared with me when he was on the Mel Robbins podcast.
00:53:24And it's the fourth skill I want you to start practicing.
00:53:28It is one sentence that you can say in the morning and one sentence that you can say at night
00:53:33that leverages everything that you have just learned from Dr. Jim Doty to embed a positive mindset.
00:53:42So let's take a listen and learn together from Dr. Daniel Amen.
00:53:47Check this out.
00:53:48So I start every day with today is going to be a great day because once you get the physical functioning
00:53:56of your brain healthy, you then have to program it.
00:54:02And so I knew I was going to talk to you.
00:54:03It's the first thing that came up in my mind.
00:54:06So I start every day.
00:54:08And if you have children, it's really good to do this at breakfast, which is if you have breakfast.
00:54:14It's so why is today going to be a great day for you directing your mind, which for many people,
00:54:22because of evolution, they wake up in a negative state.
00:54:27It puts your brain in a positive state.
00:54:32And then my favorite of all the habits I do is when I go to bed at night, I say a prayer
00:54:41and then I go, what went well today?
00:54:44And I go on a treasure hunt.
00:54:46And I actually start from the very moment I woke up looking for what was right about the day.
00:54:55And I've done this now seven or eight years.
00:54:59And even the night my dad died about two and a half years ago, and it was an awful, awful day.
00:55:06Um, I did it because it was my habit, right?
00:55:10The brain is lazy.
00:55:11It does what you nudge it to do.
00:55:15And so it really helped me even in a really hard time.
00:55:22But it's almost my favorite time of the day because like you, I'm busy and great things will happen.
00:55:28And I'll just not really focus on it, but it's that treasure hunt that is, is just so good.
00:55:37Here's what I love about what Dr. Daniel Amen just shared with us.
00:55:41This is so simple.
00:55:42I'm just going to repeat it every morning.
00:55:44I got to look ahead at the day.
00:55:46I got to activate the bloodhound and I got to look for things that are going to make it a great day.
00:55:51And guess what happens with your brain?
00:55:54Your brain is so smart that it'll find whatever you're asking for.
00:55:57And so when you give it that project to look ahead and you unleash the bloodhound and the golden retriever,
00:56:03it's going to find reasons that today is going to be a great day.
00:56:07And then at night, as you lay your head down on the pillow and you say to your brain,
00:56:12well, what went well today?
00:56:14You just did the same thing again.
00:56:16And what I love about this simple sentence in the morning and at night is that it's not only a way
00:56:22to program your subconscious to reflect on the positive, it's a way to train your brain,
00:56:29to direct it, to activate that task network that Dr. Doty was talking about,
00:56:34that bloodhound and the golden retriever in there to go find it.
00:56:38And the more that you prompt yourself to see what went well or what's going to go great,
00:56:43the more you're going to see the good things that are happening that you currently don't.
00:56:50And I have found that this works beautifully in my life because there's a ton of great things that happen.
00:56:56And they're small things, but we don't look for them.
00:57:00And when you don't look for them, you don't see them.
00:57:02And when you don't see them, you miss what's actually happening in your life.
00:57:06And there's a lot of good, even when things are terrible, there's a lot of good that's happening in your life
00:57:12if you ask your brain to help you see it.
00:57:16And that's a simple way that you can do it.
00:57:18All right, that brings us to the final fifth thing.
00:57:23And this fifth thing is literally just quieting your mind.
00:57:29You know, I think one of my biggest problems is at the end of the day,
00:57:32my brain has been so busy working or just running or thinking
00:57:38that if you really stop and think about it, how do you shut your brain down?
00:57:43Well, if you're a normal person, you probably either start watching TV
00:57:47or you pick up in your doom scroll with your phone,
00:57:50or next thing you know, you might be pouring a drink to try to turn your brain off.
00:57:54I've certainly done that in the past.
00:57:56But what if there was a different option?
00:57:57What if you could just use something like the let them theory
00:58:02and understand that your thoughts kind of come and go, they rise and they fall?
00:58:08And what if you could just let the thoughts rise and not grip onto them?
00:58:17What if part of your wind down routine at the end of the day,
00:58:20before your head hits the pillow and you say,
00:58:22what went well today, is you just let your mind slowly quiet.
00:58:30Like, I just want you to really take this in for me
00:58:32because there's a lot of research around how mindfulness,
00:58:36which is not quieting of the mind,
00:58:38but it's really just kind of observing your thoughts
00:58:41without attaching yourself to them.
00:58:44How interesting, I'm still thinking about work.
00:58:47Oh, interesting.
00:58:48That news headline just popped in my mind.
00:58:52Oh, interesting.
00:58:53Now I'm thinking about picking up my phone.
00:58:55You just let the thoughts rise without giving them any weight.
00:59:00You know, one of my favorite meditations,
00:59:02I don't know who told me this, so I don't know who to credit.
00:59:05And it involves littering.
00:59:06So now I'm, of course, going to make myself wrong for doing this.
00:59:09But this is just visual.
00:59:10We're not actually doing this.
00:59:12Is thinking about your thoughts as they rise up,
00:59:16especially negative ones.
00:59:17Something rises up.
00:59:18Oh, I wish I would have said that.
00:59:20Oh, that went well.
00:59:21That went bad.
00:59:22Whatever.
00:59:23As if you are casting them on a piece of paper into a raging river
00:59:27and you just watch them float downstream.
00:59:30And I find that to be super effective
00:59:32because I'm just letting the thoughts rise
00:59:35without giving them weight and I'm watching them float away.
00:59:38And what's interesting is there's a brand new study
00:59:42about how effective this is.
00:59:45Mindfulness.
00:59:45Just being mindful of the thoughts as they rise
00:59:48without attaching yourself to it.
00:59:50And this study was just published in the Journal of Mindfulness.
00:59:54It's research that comes out of Lawrence University
00:59:56and Goucher College
00:59:57that basically found that being present
01:00:02and practicing techniques
01:00:03where you just let your thoughts rise and fall,
01:00:05they help you steer clear of negative thought loops.
01:00:09And that leads to a brighter and more positive outlook.
01:00:13They've actually found that, you know,
01:00:14if you're somebody that ruminates a lot,
01:00:17which is where you dwell on negative feelings
01:00:19and you dwell on what's going wrong,
01:00:21it can worsen symptoms of depression
01:00:23and you can stay stuck there.
01:00:24It's almost like when the dog, you know,
01:00:26goes number two, don't step in it.
01:00:29Notice it and walk past it.
01:00:31You can do the same things with your thoughts.
01:00:36And I find that the let them theory is super helpful
01:00:39when I just say to myself,
01:00:41just let the thoughts come,
01:00:43don't attach,
01:00:44and then let me remind myself I'm not my thoughts.
01:00:48And now you've got another let me part
01:00:50because you now understand that supercomputer in your brain.
01:00:55You understand that you also have the ability
01:00:58to give yourself a project,
01:01:01especially something creative.
01:01:02If you just occupy your hands
01:01:04and you occupy your mind with something
01:01:07that is creative or a project
01:01:09or some ball that you can chase down,
01:01:12as we've been discussing over and over,
01:01:14that's going to help.
01:01:16Another thing that you can do
01:01:17is you can remind yourself to look for hearts,
01:01:19which activates that filter in your brain
01:01:22and reminds you that your mind is trying to help you
01:01:25see the things that are important to you.
01:01:27You have to remind your mind what's important to you.
01:01:29How do you do that?
01:01:30Remember the third skill, manifesting.
01:01:33Dr. Jim Doty walked us through how it works
01:01:35and how you can do it through repetition.
01:01:38Just write it down, read it, say it out loud, repeat it.
01:01:44That's the process.
01:01:45You also learned about this trick from Dr. Daniel Amen.
01:01:49One sentence in the morning.
01:01:51Why is today going to be a great day?
01:01:53Your mind is like a bloodhound or a golden retriever.
01:01:57If you direct it, like throwing a ball,
01:02:00why is today going to be a great day?
01:02:02Your mind will chase down an answer for you.
01:02:05It's pretty cool when you start to really embrace
01:02:07what I'm telling you.
01:02:09And finally, let the thoughts rise, let the thoughts fall.
01:02:14Because you have more power than you believe.
01:02:18It has been so liberating and empowering and exciting
01:02:21when I finally took all these tools
01:02:24and started to use them in my life.
01:02:26And I'm so excited to see what happens to you
01:02:29when you embrace these five simple skills
01:02:31and you start using them in your day-to-day life.
01:02:35And I'm certain here's what you're going to find.
01:02:37And here's what the people that you share this episode
01:02:39are going to find.
01:02:40That this is how you can take control of your mind.
01:02:43This is also how you let go of negative thoughts
01:02:47and you program in more positive default thoughts.
01:02:51And this is also how you redirect
01:02:54all of your mental energy to happiness,
01:02:58positivity, success, and self-transformation.
01:03:02And one more thing.
01:03:04I wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you
01:03:07and I believe in you.
01:03:09And I am so excited for you
01:03:11because absolutely everything that you learned today,
01:03:14it works.
01:03:15It's simple to understand.
01:03:17It's simple to use.
01:03:18And I think you're going to start feeling different
01:03:21and seeing the world and yourself differently
01:03:24really quickly.
01:03:27Like your brain is a super cool thing
01:03:31because it has the ability to change
01:03:33and you now know simple ways you can program it
01:03:37every single day to work for you.
01:03:39And I can't wait to see what happens in your life
01:03:41when you do.
01:03:42Alrighty, I'll be waiting for you
01:03:44in the very next episode.
01:03:45In fact, I'm going to be waiting to welcome you into it
01:03:47the moment you hit play.
01:03:49I'll see you there.
01:03:50And I want to thank you
01:03:51for being here with me on YouTube,
01:03:53for watching all the way to the end.
01:03:55I think it's so cool that you're spending time
01:03:57watching something that can help you
01:03:59live a better life,
01:04:01help you have a better mindset,
01:04:02help you be a more positive person
01:04:05and to learn how to make your brain work for you.
01:04:08And so thank you for investing in yourself
01:04:10and thank you for being here.
01:04:12And thank you for sharing this
01:04:13and being generous with this information
01:04:14with the people that you care about.
01:04:16And one more thing,
01:04:17because I know that you support people who support you,
01:04:20one of my goals is that 50% of the people
01:04:22that watch this channel are subscribers.
01:04:24It is free to subscribe
01:04:25and it really supports me and my team.
01:04:29And when you subscribe, it tells me,
01:04:31oh my God, I love this kind of content, Mel.
01:04:33Bring me more of it.
01:04:34And that helps us bring you new videos
01:04:37every single day
01:04:37and access to world-renowned experts for free.
01:04:40How cool is that?
01:04:41So thanks for doing that.
01:04:42And I know you're thinking,
01:04:43okay, this was amazing.
01:04:45What do I want to watch next?
01:04:46Well, you're going to want to check out this video.
01:04:48You're going to love it.
01:04:49And I'm going to be waiting to welcome you into it
01:04:51the moment you hit play.
01:04:52I'll see you there.
01:04:53What do I want to watch next?
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