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FunTranscript
00:00and how long have you been a superhero me well i guess i've always been a superhero
00:08i don't know much else arthur it was the tick really like the check he's great he's a little
00:17hard to work with sometimes but he's stronger than anybody listen ours is an epic tale true
00:23friendship heart-stopping danger men and women in tights making the rules and breaking them
00:28we are not two men we are ten men listen it all started in reno every year heroes flock to the
00:37national super institute to compete for the best cities to protect from crime ladies and gentlemen
00:43the blowfish avenger blowfish gets new rochelle way to go blow one year i decided to compete
00:58hello reno i am the tick
01:15i am mighty
01:24now you may ask but how does one prove mightiness to this i reply by surviving the deadliest engine
01:32of destruction 1974 had to offer ladies and gentlemen you may want to shield yourselves with your dessert
01:39menus i might be dangerous
01:46well this is disappointing
01:58and the rest is history
02:10is
02:17is
02:19over
02:23in the
02:25Don't we
02:55Let's go.
03:25Destiny.
03:29Destiny's powerful hand has made the bed of my future.
03:33And it's up to me to lie in it.
03:35I am destined to be a superhero.
03:38To right wrongs and pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evildoers everywhere.
03:44You don't fight destiny.
03:46No, sir.
03:47And you don't eat crackers in the bed of your future or you get all...
03:53Scratchy.
03:54Hey, I'm narrating here.
03:59They've assigned me a city.
04:01My mission?
04:02To free it from the ravages of evil and supervillainy.
04:06So its citizens may sleep easy.
04:09Secure in the knowledge that they are protected.
04:13The city.
04:15My the city.
04:16It cries to me of its need.
04:23Excuse me.
04:29Arthur.
04:31Yes, Mr. Wiederspan.
04:32Arthur, I'm afraid the firm feels that it's time to allow you the opportunity to pursue other avenues of employment.
04:42I'm fired?
04:44Is there a problem with my work?
04:45Oh, no, Arthur.
04:47No, it's...
04:48It's...
04:48It's that stupid bunny outfit.
04:50Oh, no, not bunny, sir.
04:53Moth.
04:54It's my moth suit.
04:56Actually, it's a flying suit.
04:57The wings are in my briefcase.
04:59Arthur, you're making the other accountants nervous.
05:04We all find this kind of rampant individuality very disturbing.
05:09I know you think I'm crazy, Mr. Wiederspan, but I'm not.
05:14It's just...
05:15Ever since I found this suit, I've felt strange new needs.
05:20Urges.
05:21I can't live this life a moment longer.
05:24Somewhere out there, a destiny of adventure and excitement waits for me.
05:29Accounting is a fine skill to fall back on, but the road less traveled.
05:34Much less traveled.
05:35The moth suit on Wings Road is a lot more exciting than taxes.
05:49City, it is I, the Tick, your destined defender.
05:54Show me where it hurts.
05:59Hall.
06:05Oh, there's crime here.
06:19I can smell it.
06:21I can taste it.
06:23So shall I begin my first patrol of the city with one giant leap.
06:27Soon, they will know me.
06:36Soon, they will need me.
06:42Well, great.
06:44Now I'm unemployed.
06:46How am I going to find adventure and excitement when I can't even cover my expenses?
06:50And double-clips.
06:58Aha.
06:59I'll bounce off that flagpole and flip to safety.
07:03Aha.
07:04I'll bounce off that broad, flat surface.
07:07I don't eat out and reverse my underwear to get an extra day.
07:11Or maybe not.
07:12Gravity is a harsh mistress.
07:21Are you all right?
07:22I'm fine.
07:23I'm a superhero.
07:25I'm nigh invulnerable.
07:27I'm built for this kind of thing.
07:29Nice outfit.
07:30A superhero?
07:31Known to evildoers everywhere as the Tick.
07:35I'm Arthur.
07:35Known to taxpayers everywhere as the Accountant.
07:39I'm looking for adventure.
07:40Come have lunch with me, Arthur.
07:43Adventure will follow.
07:58Why would they send a superhero of my caliber to a place like this?
08:03I'm not sure this city even needs a champion.
08:06So, you're a superhero, huh?
08:08And what sort of costume is that supposed to be?
08:10Costume?
08:11No costume, friend.
08:13I am simply the Tick.
08:16Well, you can't be the Tick.
08:18Ticks are arachnids.
08:19They got eight legs.
08:20How do you know I don't?
08:22Ticks suck blood.
08:23Do you suck blood?
08:25Uh, yeah.
08:26I suck blood all the time.
08:28Yeah, right.
08:29Look, I got a straw right here, pal.
08:30You want a demonstration?
08:31No, no.
08:34No, no, thanks.
08:34No.
08:37An explosion.
08:38Come on.
08:39It's a foot.
08:39A foot?
08:40That's funny.
08:41I have only seconds to shed my everyday disguise.
08:44This looks like a job for...
08:46There's somebody in here.
08:49Occupied.
08:51This looks like a job for...
08:53The Caped Chameleon!
09:07They've got guns.
09:09This is definitely illegal.
09:12Help!
09:13Arthur, do you fly?
09:15My wings are in my briefcase.
09:16Back at the diner.
09:18I'll go get them.
09:19No time, chub!
09:23I think I'll just lie down here for a second.
09:35Criminals!
09:36You face the sworn protector of this fair city.
09:41You face the Tick.
09:46Speak up!
09:47I can't understand a word you're saying through those stupid masks.
09:49Enunciate!
09:59He can't do plan!
10:03The desk!
10:05Get him there!
10:06Get him there!
10:08Are we dead yet?
10:13Far from it, Arthur.
10:14We have them on the run.
10:15Get through the tent!
10:16Get through the tent!
10:17Get through the tent!
10:18Get through the tent!
10:18Get through the tent!
10:18Get through the tent!
10:19Get through the tent!
10:20Get through the tent!
10:21Get through the tent!
10:22Get through the tent!
10:23Get through the tent!
10:24Hey, cool.
10:25They got a blimp!
10:26That was the scene today at the Reeve Droid Bank as the mysterious gang known as The Idea Men
10:32struck again, continuing their terrible crime wave.
10:36It was the sixth time in as many days that the baffling criminals have descended from the sky to literally lift the city's most valued assets.
10:45But today their nefarious plot was thwarted by an heroic blue stranger.
10:50Hey, cool!
10:51They got a blimp!
10:52Our modest blue benefactor exited the scene without comment.
10:57The idea of that menace is far from over, says Mayor Blank.
11:01In fact, we have reason to believe that these criminals have been merely practicing for a much larger caper.
11:07We'll have more on this story as it develops.
11:10Meanwhile, on a lighter note, clown.
11:16I always have trouble with these keys.
11:19Well, this is my place.
11:20What do you think?
11:22It's great!
11:23It looks just like an apartment.
11:25Where's your secret headquarters trigger?
11:27Is this it?
11:28No, wait!
11:29You know, the trigger.
11:30Like a statue or a candlestick that you twist and then everything flips over and all your crime-busting equipment pops out?
11:36This is it, right?
11:37I know!
11:39What does your sofa turn into?
11:41Your sonar radar perimeter defense unit?
11:43No!
11:44It turns into a bed!
11:46Please, this is just an apartment.
11:48It is?
11:50Yes, yes!
11:52Well, this place is going to take a lot of work if it's going to be our superhero headquarters.
11:55No!
11:56No?
11:57Oh, I don't know.
11:58I just don't know if I'm ready for this.
12:00Too much excitement.
12:01Too much adventure.
12:02I think I'm going crazy.
12:04You're not going crazy, Arthur.
12:06You're going sane in a crazy world.
12:09Some people are destined for greater things.
12:13Arthur, you are one of those people.
12:16You can't hide from it.
12:17You've got to hug it.
12:19Hug your destiny, Arthur!
12:22Hug it.
12:24Uh-huh.
12:26I think I'll just sleep on it, okay?
12:28That's fine, my small friend.
12:30You rest up, and I will monitor the culture.
12:34Taste me!
12:35That's Dramaflake's tasty challenge.
12:38Attractive, successful people love Dramaflake's.
12:42Guaranteed to make your life more dramatic and eventful with every golden spoon pill.
12:47Just listen to them get in here, fool.
12:55Good evening.
12:56This is Sally Vacuum with a special report.
12:59I'm here at the City Hydroelectric Plant.
13:01Apparently, the notorious Idea men have taken the City Dam hostage.
13:06Although, we can't understand a word they're saying.
13:09Uh-huh.
13:10What?
13:11I'm sorry we didn't get that.
13:14Hey, what's the thing that's happening?
13:16Good heavens!
13:17They're going to flood the city!
13:20Arthur, get up!
13:21The city call upon our best protectors!
13:24What?
13:25This looks like a job for Bipolar Bear!
13:29But I just can't seem to get out of bed this month.
13:32This looks like a job for Captain Leming!
13:37Come on, Spine, work with me.
13:42Excuse me, Miss.
13:43I've got to change my outfit.
13:46This looks like a job for the human bullet!
13:48Fire me, boy!
13:52Get those wings on, Arthur.
13:53This isn't such a good idea.
13:55The wings, put them on.
13:56I'm not so good at this.
13:57You'll get better.
13:58I've never flown before.
14:00Not a problem.
14:02No, no, no, no, no.
14:04Change my mind, wanna come down.
14:07It's your destiny, Arthur.
14:09Hug it!
14:21I'm very frightened!
14:23No, Arthur.
14:24You're very flying!
14:27You see?
14:28No more doubting yourself!
14:29Now, onto the deck!
14:32We have work to do.
14:35We're all out of roofs.
14:36What happens now?
14:37Shh.
14:38Wow.
14:39Wow!
14:40All out of roofs.
14:41What happens now?
14:42Shh.
14:43Wow.
14:45Wow.
14:46Wow.
14:48We're all out of roofs.
14:55What happens now?
15:02Wow.
15:05All out of roofs, eh?
15:07Uh, yeah.
15:08Guess so.
15:09Deflator mouse.
15:10I should have known you'd be out tonight.
15:13Well, if it isn't American-made,
15:15the world's most patriotic domestic.
15:18This looks like a job for Deflator Mouse,
15:20not some mop-squeezer.
15:22Why don't you go scrub out a toilet somewhere?
15:25Why don't you go smell up some cave?
15:28People! People!
15:29There's a dam about to blow up!
15:31We should team up and use all our resources
15:34to battle this evil.
15:35Team up?
15:36I'm not going to team up with her.
15:38There's that fear of commitment again.
15:40Oh, listen to Miss Intimacy here.
15:43Jerk.
15:43Jingoist.
15:44Rabbit goon.
15:45Clean freak.
15:46Nerf ice cream.
15:47Some people just shouldn't be in this business.
15:49La, la, la, la, la.
15:51To the dam!
15:52But how?
15:53We'll figure it out.
15:54Are so incredibly immature.
15:57Sticks and stones.
15:58Amateurs.
15:59None of them really know how to handle evil.
16:03This looks like a job.
16:06A big shot.
16:07The mayor is just now arriving, and it looks like he's brought the ransom money.
16:25Mayor Blank, are you actually going to give in to the idea men's criminal demands?
16:31Well, Sally, let me put it this way.
16:33How well can you swim?
16:35But seriously, we have no choice.
16:38They have our dam, and no force on Earth can stop them now.
16:41Let's see.
16:49Fifteen percent of...
16:50Arthur!
16:51Onward!
16:52Oh, just keep the change.
16:58Arthur!
16:59Seconds from now, the mayor will hand over a briefcase containing ten million municipal dollars.
17:07The biggest ransom ever paid in the city's history.
17:10Seconds from now, the mayor will hand over a briefcase containing ten million dollars in the city's history.
17:40They must have gotten their money.
17:52They got their money, and they're still going to blow up the dam.
17:55Oh, no fair.
17:56Okay, idea man.
18:08What's the big idea?
18:11Well, we thought we'd steal a lot of money, and then we'd be rich, and we wouldn't have to work anymore.
18:18You can't!
18:20Now turn off your bottle!
18:22Now, we can't.
18:23Once it's activated, it can't be shut off.
18:31What are you doing?
18:33Shh!
18:34I'm defusing it.
18:41There it is!
18:41Guns and superheroes don't mix.
18:56Seek professional help.
18:58My goodness!
18:59I'm a walking time bomb!
19:01Get out of my way!
19:02Why didn't you love me, Mom?
19:06Ha ha ha ha ha.
19:36I guess we save the city.
19:42For the moment, yes, my friend.
19:43But with luck, our future holds still more dire threats, more perilous plots.
19:49Wherever villainy rears its great big head, wherever evil sets its giant, ill-smelling foot, you will find the tick.
19:59Oh, and Arthur, he's a sidekick.
20:03Good show.
20:05And yes, my sidekick, Arthur.
20:07Certainly a force to be reckoned with.
20:10And so, may evil beware.
20:13And may good dress warmly and eat plenty of fresh vegetables.
20:16I'm okay.
20:19I'm okay.
20:20I'm okay.
20:20I'm okay.
20:21I'm okay.
20:22I'm okay.
20:22I'm okay.
20:27I'm okay.
20:28I'm okay.
20:30I'm okay.