- 5 months ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmcBw763wOY Men and women aren’t just raised differently—they think differently, too. This episode dives into the science behind male and female brain wiring, exploring how testosterone and estrogen shape our emotional responses, communication styles, and stress management.
We’ll break down why men tend to focus on action while women lean into emotional processing, and how these differences can lead to misunderstandings in marriage. Most importantly, we’ll reveal how embracing these natural strengths—rather than fighting them—can lead to deeper connection, better leadership, and a stronger relationship.
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We’ll break down why men tend to focus on action while women lean into emotional processing, and how these differences can lead to misunderstandings in marriage. Most importantly, we’ll reveal how embracing these natural strengths—rather than fighting them—can lead to deeper connection, better leadership, and a stronger relationship.
Follow us on social media for more relationship advice:
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/richinrelationship/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/richinrelationship/
Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/richinrelationship/_created/
Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@richinrelationship
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/company/rich-in-relationship
Website - https://www.richinrelationship.com
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00Today, in Rich in Relationship, we're going to talk about the thought patterns of a brain that grows up in a genetically female body and a brain that evolves in a genetically male body and why they're so different.
00:13We live in an environment where men and women today are recognized as equal, but somehow we've downplayed the fact that we're different.
00:22Women, men are less interested in you hearing them and more interested in you understanding them.
00:30Welcome to another episode of Rich in Relationship. I'm your host, Rich Heller, and today we're talking about the brain on testosterone versus the brain on estrogen.
00:40Why men and women think differently. You know, when I was a kid, there used to be this ad.
00:46It was an anti-drug campaign. It would say, this is your brain on drugs, and they would crack an egg and it would sizzle on the frying pan.
00:54And I wish I had something like that to show you. This is your brain on estrogen, and this is your brain on testosterone, so that you could see the difference.
01:03But instead, I'm just going to have to tell you about it. It is no secret that men and women think differently.
01:10It is not even a form of sexism to say this. It's a fact.
01:14It's also true that women can think in masculine terms, and men can think in feminine terms.
01:21We can actually cross the divide.
01:25But the fact is that there's wiring, neurological wiring, that goes on in the female brain that does not go on in the male brain and vice versa.
01:37And it is the neurological wiring that, to some extent, drives the way we express ourselves, what we see, where our attention is, and how we show up in the world.
01:51And understanding this is key, right?
01:55We live in an environment where men and women today are recognized as equal, but somehow we've downplayed the fact that we're different.
02:03And so, if you're in a marriage, you think that you should be expressing yourselves in the same way, maybe.
02:10Well, if he expresses himself that way, I should express myself the same way, or if she expresses herself that way, I should express myself in the same way.
02:18But no, no, no. It doesn't work that way.
02:21Because not only are your brains wired differently, but when you try and do something the way they do it, it ain't the same.
02:30You just can't express it the same way.
02:33It's just not possible.
02:36It's like women trying to pee standing up and men trying to have children.
02:44It just doesn't work.
02:46There's just, there's some things that don't cross over very well.
02:50But you can bridge this when you understand it.
02:54And that's what we're all about here today.
02:56Have you ever wondered why men tend to be problem solvers?
02:59Or if you're a woman, have you ever wondered why men are always trying to fix you?
03:04Have you ever wondered why women emphasize discussing things and exploring it?
03:10Or if you're a guy, have you ever wondered why women never seem to get to the point and just seem to talk about the problem over and over?
03:17Have you ever wondered why men compartmentalize emotions while women seem to process them verbally?
03:24Or have you ever wondered why men are completely non-emotional?
03:30And why women seem to be all about feelings?
03:33I'm talking appearances here.
03:34The answer isn't just cultural.
03:36It's neurological.
03:38And it's not that women are totally over-emotional.
03:42And it's not that men are cold and calculating.
03:44It has to do with how we express these things.
03:50Have you ever wondered why men want sex in order to feel safe?
03:55And why women need to feel safe in order to have sex?
03:58Maybe you haven't even noticed that.
04:00It has to do with our brains.
04:02So the role of testosterone or the way that testosterone shapes a brain evolving in that chemistry is very different than the way estrogen shapes a brain evolving in that chemistry.
04:16Testosterone drives focus.
04:18It drives competitiveness.
04:19It drives task-oriented thinking.
04:23Estrogen drives enhanced emotional processing.
04:27I'm not talking about being over-emotional.
04:29I mean, really understanding women are so much more capable of empathy and compassion as a result.
04:38Social bonding comes out of that.
04:40And multitasking.
04:42The multitasking has to do with operating in two lobes at the same time.
04:48We'll talk about that more.
04:49These hormonal differences shape communication styles.
04:53They shape the way we approach differences.
04:57They shape the way we problem solve.
05:02They shape our emotional needs.
05:05And I want to be crystal clear that there are biological men who have more estrogen than other men.
05:14And there are biological women who have more testosterone than other women.
05:18And that makes a difference.
05:19So I'm not saying I'm now laying down the law, the biological law for men and women.
05:25What I'm saying is that within a body that's biologically feminine, there's going to be a scale of high estrogen, low testosterone, high testosterone, low estrogen.
05:38And that's going to impact the development of that brain.
05:41And within a body that's biologically male, similarly, there's going to be a scale.
05:48And the chances are that if we did a study, and I don't think anyone ever has, of biologically female bodies that have high testosterone and low estrogen compared to biologically male bodies that have low testosterone and high estrogen, we probably find some correlations in brain structure, probably.
06:07But I don't know.
06:07No one's ever done the study.
06:08But what I'm saying to you is, I'm talking in broad generalizations here, big brush strokes, and how much you identify with it or don't probably says something about where you are on that scale.
06:19So buckle your seatbelts because we're going on a ride.
06:23Let's talk about, actually, let's just go back to the structure of the brain for a second.
06:28As a result of these chemical differences, female brains have more, we've talked about this in previous episodes, but we're going to go a different direction with this in this episode.
06:40Females have more connections between two lobes.
06:42One lobe is creative, one lobe is rational.
06:44So females, brains that evolve in high estrogen have a greater capacity for moving between the creative and the rational.
06:53And so part of why those brains multitask so much better is they're moving back and forth between the lobes.
07:00And they might literally be processing two different things at once in each lobe because there's so much more connection between those lobes.
07:07While the brain that evolves in testosterone has less connections between the lobes and tends to get hanging out on one side or the other more.
07:15And that's what drives that linear tendency, right?
07:18The greater processing capacity with the connection, the ability to process two things at once also partly drives in female bodies, high estrogen bodies, greater awareness of emotional environment, greater peripheral vision, more sensitivity to reading body language and micro expressions because they're moving between those two lobes.
07:44Whereas the male brain tends to be more linear and has greater ability to stay on track, get things done, remain focused on, keep their eyes on the prize, etc.
07:58It also means that there might be higher levels of aggression.
08:03The way that the male body expresses aggression is going to be amped up some, not just by the physical size, but over centuries of men being traditionally the defenders, aggressors, not that women can't fight, not that women can't jump in, not that women can't be aggressive.
08:22The way that the way that the negative emotions are expressed in the male body is going to be, have an intensity and a difference than the way it's expressed in the female body.
08:33I think what you really want to get here is that's also going to drive differences in communication, right?
08:38In the same way that the estrogen-driven brain is more ecological and more aware and builds social connections more and wired more for social connections and nurturing.
08:51As a result of that, the communication tends to be on multiple levels at once, okay?
08:58Multiple levels at once, emotional, intellectual, individual, social, so much more is communicated in feminine communication, woman-to-woman communication, then woman-to-man communication.
09:11Though, men can do it if we stretch a little and get that when men communicate, there can be more present and it tends to be more about how can we achieve the goal, how can we get there, and less about where are we now.
09:29That's probably the best way to put it.
09:31So, how does this show up?
09:33Have you ever felt like your wife wants to talk about things when you just want to move on?
09:37Well, there's a reason for this.
09:40The reason is that the amygdala, fear response center, is actually more active in men.
09:48We have more developed amygdalas.
09:50So, the amygdala recognizes danger and is more reactive.
09:55By the way, it doesn't mean that women can't have a hell of a well-developed amygdala.
09:59What it means is it's more active in our brains.
10:02The fact is that the male brain is 5% larger than the female brain, but the female brain is 10% more efficient.
10:10So, the difference in size is made up for an actual function.
10:14It's kind of like, let me give you an example.
10:16Here in America, very recently, we found out that the Chinese were able to create an AI that functions as well as our AI, but they were doing it with a lot less processing power.
10:30However, it's the same idea.
10:32You know, the AI that we developed in America had a lot of very high-end chips.
10:36The Chinese model had less chips and it was therefore less expensive, but was much more efficient in the way that it used it.
10:42That would be a great example of the difference between the male and the female brain.
10:47And so, because the amygdala, the fear response, fight-flight-play-dead sensor in men is bigger, it can be more reactive and react with more intensity.
10:59The prefrontal cortex, which is what regulates emotion, and the hippocampus, which is memory and emotional recall, are more developed in women.
11:08And so, that's why when men and women get into a fight, the guys might get very upset and they might come on very strong and the women battle them with, that's exactly with what you said in 2010 and 2019.
11:25You remember when we were at Niagara Falls, the men don't remember that, and that just pisses them off more.
11:30So, the development of these two brain centers, the difference of the development of these two brain centers, tends to hype up the fight.
11:40As men feel more and more behind the eight ball, they might get more aggressive.
11:45As women become more impacted by the aggression of the men, they're going to jump into their strengths, which is memory and emotional management.
11:56They're managing their own emotions and attacking it with evidence.
12:02But what's happening under the surface is that because the male amygdala expression is bigger and has more intensity, what's happening under the surface very often is that unconsciously the woman is experiencing fear.
12:17She may not express it, or she expresses it by being more argumentative and making her point in 16 different ways.
12:23And even if she wins, she loses because she feels that her safety has been compromised.
12:30Or even if the guy wins, he loses because his partnership has been destroyed by his amygdala.
12:37This can show up as women saying, why can't he just talk to me?
12:43Or it might show up for men as, why can't she ever just get there?
12:49Guys are always trying to get there now.
12:52All right, you say this is wrong, I'm going to change what I do.
12:56And women are always trying to talk about the situation.
13:00And the challenge here for the guys is you need to get that it isn't always what you do, it's how you do it.
13:10Because men are more linear, they're often unconscious about their emotions.
13:14And so they'll say, all right, so you want me to bring you flowers for Valentine's Day?
13:17I'll bring you flowers.
13:19And then they say, here's your flowers.
13:21And then she says, wow, thanks a lot.
13:23And throws them away.
13:24And you go, what?
13:26You said you wanted flowers.
13:28She says, yeah.
13:29And you brought them.
13:30Thank you so much.
13:31See you later.
13:32You completely miss each other.
13:34Now, that's a situation that probably doesn't quite happen that way.
13:37But that situation definitely happens where men feel like they're doing what's asked of them.
13:42But they're doing it in a way that there's an undercurrent of hostility or anger that triggers in the woman.
13:51First, distrust.
13:53All right.
13:54Oh, you're doing something I asked, but you're doing it in a way that I don't want to receive it.
13:58And second, a lack of safety that goes with that distrust.
14:02And the more distrust and safety that woman experiences, the less connection there's going to be.
14:09And then the man, all right, here's the other side of it.
14:11When men get pissed off and they get to the side, they try to get to the other side.
14:15They say, look, baby, I'm really tense.
14:17Let's be intimate.
14:19And the last thing in the world that the woman wants in that situation is to be intimate because she's totally shut down emotionally.
14:24So now I hope you're getting a picture of how men and women are missing each other.
14:30Okay, so women have learned from men.
14:35We talked about this in the last episode.
14:38Women have learned to be very direct.
14:40Women have learned to be very linear.
14:43Women have learned to use aggression.
14:46We talked about different archetypes in the last episode or behavioral models that women have used to adapt to a society that's been male-dominated for a couple of thousand years.
14:56Men, what that means, by the way, is that women understand men, unconsciously at least, if they don't get it consciously.
15:04Men have been far less successful in understanding women because we've had it easy.
15:09You guys, you've had it easy.
15:10You get your way societally all the time, right?
15:14Men are still on top.
15:16Even though women, I believe, now receive equal pay for the same jobs for the most part, even though many women are out-earning men, the structure of society still favors men in very many ways.
15:28So guys, your challenge here is to start to develop your feminine qualities without emasculating yourself.
15:37And we've done whole episodes on this, right?
15:40There is an art to embracing your feminine side and still be a guy.
15:48I'm not talking about a guy, you know, but still without selling out your masculinity.
15:55So guys, first of all, you need to get that men and women both have masculine and feminine inside of them.
16:02We both have estrogen and testosterone, by the way.
16:05And as we evolve in life, it is not beneficial for a man to not have estrogen, and it is not beneficial for a woman to not have testosterone.
16:13In fact, our health is centered around having both of these chemicals in our bodies.
16:19Just men tend to have more testosterone and less estrogen and vice versa for women.
16:24But we have it in us, and we have those qualities.
16:27We also had mothers.
16:30Women had fathers.
16:31So we had models for masculinity and femininity, and intuitively, unconsciously, we grasp feminine principles.
16:38We just haven't bothered to articulate them to ourselves.
16:42So I am now articulating them for you.
16:47When there is a fight between men and women, this is what needs to happen in order for there to be connection.
16:54The first thing that needs to happen is both parties need to take responsibility for their emotions.
17:01And what I mean by that is the societal tendency is blame.
17:05It's just what we do.
17:07Any president you've ever heard, with maybe one exception, and he wasn't considered a very strong president, lives in blame.
17:15It's nine times out of ten somebody else's fault.
17:18The way we say things, we all tend to say things like,
17:21You're making me so mad.
17:24You make me so happy.
17:26You're making me hot for you.
17:27You're making me.
17:29That is actually a blame structure.
17:32It could be a positive blame structure.
17:33You're making me hot for you.
17:34You make me love you so much.
17:37It could be positive.
17:38But it's still, what it's doing is we're giving power to the other person, and we're disempowering ourselves.
17:45We're not owning our emotions when we do that.
17:48We're saying, you're making me, right?
17:51We need to, like, throw your making me out.
17:54All of us need to throw your making me out.
17:57And we need to reverse the expression of emotion.
18:02And so the reverse is something you see very commonly.
18:04I statements.
18:05We talk about this all the time.
18:07We give you free downloads on the website regarding this.
18:09I feel X when Y happens because.
18:14All right.
18:14So start with I statements.
18:17The next is we need to, men in particular, need to work on committed listening.
18:21Committed listening is where we look for one fact and one feeling of what our wives are saying and ask,
18:29Did we get it?
18:30And if we didn't get it, we don't go,
18:32What do you mean I didn't get it?
18:33We go, Okay, say it to me again.
18:35I really want to understand.
18:37I really want to hear you.
18:38Now, women, when you use committed listening, you actually, men are less interested in you hearing them and more interested in you understanding them.
18:49And so the context for you ladies would be when your man is sharing about something, you want to say,
18:58It sounds like you're feeling frustrated when this happens.
19:02And maybe you want to add, because what you want to accomplish is.
19:06Really important for guys to feel validated about their linear thinking, where they want to go.
19:12They want you to understand the intention because that's really important to them.
19:19For ladies, it's more important that the emotional base be correct.
19:24For men, the intention almost supersedes the emotion that drives it.
19:29You incorporate these things, and men, you will be honoring women, and women, you will be honoring men, your communication styles.
19:39And now let me throw one more thing into the mix.
19:42I work with a lot of couples.
19:44I help a lot of marriages to be joyful and prosperous.
19:47Super successful at it, by the way.
19:48I mean, you know, we do some amazing work.
19:52I'm very careful about who I work with.
19:54I make sure it's a good fit.
19:55I make sure that they really want to be succeed.
19:59You know, I don't work with couples who don't really want to succeed.
20:01And this is one of the most important things, guys, in particular.
20:07Guys, because you're goal-oriented, you're always, always trying to help.
20:15And the way that that's experienced by the woman is that you're trying to fix them, or you're trying to manipulate them, or you're trying to change them.
20:24And it's because you have the right intention, but you express it at the wrong time.
20:30It is super important that you do not try to help, fix, suggest anything like that unless your wife gives you permission.
20:40So typically what this would look like is you're going to have a conversation with her about something she's unhappy about.
20:45Let's say it's something at work.
20:47Oh, she's got this new hire, Suzette, who is really good at some things, but she's just consistently bad at others.
20:55And you've heard this a few times, right?
20:57Because your wife wants to process this.
20:59Every time there's a problem with Suzette, she wants to process it with you.
21:02And you're chomping at the bit to fix it because you know how to fix this problem because you had a Suzette in your life.
21:08And you say to her, Gwen, let me tell you how to fix this problem.
21:12What you want to do is you want to say, yeah, oh, wow, I get it.
21:16Oh, that must be so frustrating when Suzette does X.
21:19Oh, that must have hurt your feelings when Suzette said Y.
21:22Oh, yeah.
21:23Hey, would you like some help with this?
21:25Because I think I might know a way through this.
21:28And if she says, sure, you're going to be very careful about how you help her with it.
21:32If she says, no, you're going to go, okay.
21:34And I want you to know the hardest thing for you is going to be to go, okay, and leave it alone.
21:39And later on, a day or two later, this is what's going to come up for you, fellas.
21:44You're going to go, why didn't she let me help her?
21:46Why doesn't she trust me?
21:48I know I can help her with this.
21:50She never wants to let me help her.
21:53You're going to actually feel hurt and rejected.
21:54But I want you to get that it's super important that you allow her the space to not be helped.
22:02And she might even really want your help and say no to test you to see what you'll do with it.
22:08If you come back to her and say, you know, when I tried to help you the other day and you said no, I can't believe it.
22:13You never want me to help you.
22:14Then you fail the test.
22:17If you go back to her and say, wow, I was really surprised.
22:20I offered you help.
22:21And you know what came up for me?
22:23I felt hurt and a little angry when you rejected my offer.
22:28However, because I felt like I had some really valid answers and I really care about you.
22:33And it was, you know, I was looking for an opportunity to express it.
22:38By the way, that was an I statement.
22:40And just notice that the because was about me, not about her.
22:45Um, so that might be a way you could express it without crossing a boundary.
22:51But in today's world, men have been telling women how to live for so long that in today's world, we dare not cross that line anymore.
23:01Right.
23:02In an equal relationship, you don't tell someone how to how that you have the answer and what to do.
23:08So you ask them if they want your help.
23:11And I will say also, guys, that there are going to be times when you disagree.
23:15This is actually true for ladies.
23:16There are going to be times when you disagree and you may need to take a unilateral action and you need to respectfully inform your partner.
23:22You're going to take unilateral action.
23:24Um, but when it's expressed as a my way or the highway, that's a death knell for your partnership.
23:30Now, ladies, um, when it comes to your husband, they're talking to you about the situation that's going on.
23:37Let's say your husband comes to you, uh, and he says, wow, I'm having this problem with Suzette and I'm so pissed off.
23:45What he doesn't want you to do is he doesn't want you to go.
23:49How are you feeling about that?
23:51How do you think Suzette was feeling?
23:53What do you think the impact was on the rest of the staff?
23:56Unless it's going to help him to get to a solution, right?
23:59Um, the difference here is that very often women will share things to process the emotion.
24:04Women, men will share things because they want to get to a solution.
24:08And ladies, if you're going to help him to explore the feelings, you're going to let him know first why it will help him get to the solution.
24:17Like you might say to him, you know what?
24:19I had a problem with, you remember my Suzette problem?
24:22What really helped me was to understand that the solution was going to impact everyone.
24:27Would it be all right with you if we talked about, you know, the way other people felt?
24:31You need to explain to him why you're doing what you're doing in a way that he can receive it, in a frame that he can receive it.
24:39His linear mind can receive a discussion about emotion if it's in the context of it will help solve the problem.
24:45Okay, um, I feel like that's pretty thorough.
24:50And I feel like I gave you some great tools.
24:52And if you feel like, uh, these tools are hard to implement, you know, it's not unusual for me to offer people tools and they go, rich, that didn't work.
25:00And it's because they, either they didn't follow the model that I gave them or something else was in the way that didn't allow it to work.
25:09It sounds really good when I say it on the podcast.
25:12Maybe it doesn't seem to work so well in your life.
25:15Reach out to me for a call and let's talk about the situation.
25:18Go to richinrelationship.com and schedule a free call.
25:22It's my, my mission is to help people.
25:25Um, once we work through the problem, if you think you need more resources, I'll point you in the right direction.
25:30That's my promise to you.
25:32And I guess with that, I'm going to wrap this up.
25:36So we've been exploring the differences between men and women's brains and how they show up.
25:43And I've been giving you, I've given you like the base model.
25:47Um, in the previous episodes, you know, we illustrated that men can embrace their feminine side and there are different ways of modifying their behaviors that may appear more feminine.
25:57And vice versa, women can have this, have behaviors, adaptations that appear more masculine, but ultimately the wiring of the brain does not change.
26:09I really want you to get this.
26:11Ultimately, the wiring of the brain does not change.
26:13And you know what?
26:14There is one last piece that I want to throw in here before we move on.
26:17Part of what this means when men and women are fighting is that because of that enhanced amygdala, when men get upset, they tend to be very emphatic and emotional in their expression.
26:29And women have adopted this.
26:32In fact, um, an adaptation in the world in business is for women to express their emotion in a masculine way, because it's the only thing that men really understand in the business world.
26:45They don't get the female expression.
26:47So women have learned to wear masculine behaviors in expressing emotion in order to get what they need done in the business world.
26:56But in a one-to-one relationship, when a woman does that, it brings out an even more intense reaction in their partner.
27:05So in the business world, men often can't go there.
27:09There are legal restrictions to their going there.
27:10There are rules about how we can express ourselves in the business world.
27:15So when a woman expresses herself with, let's call it a certain level of ferocity or intensity, it's accepted that that's okay because men do that too.
27:25But there's a point where they will not cross because it's not professional.
27:29There's a point that they will not cross.
27:30Or if women cross that threshold, it's viewed as, well, they're just being emotional.
27:35Whereas if men cross that threshold, it's seen as misogynistic and abusive, which it is.
27:41All right.
27:42So what I want you to get is women, when you come on to your guy like that, he thinks we're equals.
27:48So I'm going to come on with my ferocity and intensity also.
27:53And guys, I want you to get that when you do that, you break trust with your wife.
27:58You break trust because you're physically bigger.
28:00You break trust because if you both had a baseball bat and took a shot at each other, you'd probably break a bone in her body and she'd probably just bruise you.
28:10Or maybe she'd, depending on what part of your body she'd hit, if you hit the same body, you might break a bone in you, you might break two in her.
28:19You just need to get, you know, that the male body is built for something different than the female body.
28:25Um, and that the way we receive physical abuse is different.
28:30The way we receive emotional abuse is different.
28:33And what you trigger in her is fear on an unconscious level, even if she's not showing it on the surface.
28:39And you may experience fear when she expresses herself to you, but it will not be the same.
28:44It won't be the same level.
28:46Um, the, the way that we're wired, our brains are wired and the roles that we've developed over thousands of years.
28:53And even in this changing society, these roles still hold is males are protectors.
28:59Women are nurturers.
29:00Not that women can't protect and men can't nurture.
29:03I want to be really clear.
29:04Men are good nurturers when they lean into it and women can be ferocious protectors.
29:09Now, do not get between a woman and her children.
29:12She will kill you.
29:13But overall, the expectation of a woman from a man is that he will not turn that side of himself to her.
29:20He will reserve that side to defend her and the cubs, not the team, but the kids.
29:28And the expectation of the woman is that she will preserve the ecology and a nurturing environment.
29:38And when men speak to women with that kind of aggression, it's incredibly destructive.
29:43It may feel like you've been given permission because she's talking to you that way, but you don't have permission.
29:50I need you to get this.
29:51Women, I want you to understand that when your man does that and you meet him with that intensity,
29:59you need to get that you're triggering him, you're provoking him, and that it's really not where you want to be.
30:05It's not what you really want.
30:07What you really want is actually what he wants, which is a nurturing, vulnerable environment where you can fully expose yourselves to one another, weaknesses and all.
30:18And so I want you to get that because of the way your brains are wired and because of the differences that are going in society,
30:24we haven't been honoring the way our brains are wired.
30:27And we haven't been honoring some of our traditional roles, which are actually kind of burnt into us.
30:33Yet you do something for a thousand years, it's burnt into your genes emotionally.
30:38There's studies that show that emotions lodge in genetics also.
30:42I am not saying that that means that men are better than women.
30:47What I'm saying is you need to honor each other's strengths and show up in that way.
30:51And men, you need to get that your job, overall job, is protect, provide, and serve, not dominate and subjugate.
31:00And women, I haven't thought about this as much, but your job is to maintain the health of the ecology so that that jumping off point, that platform, that foundation nurtures both of you, your relationship and your children and anyone who steps into it.
31:19And again, men can nurture and men can be ecological and women can defend, provide, protect.
31:25My mom did an amazing job of providing and protecting us and serving us.
31:30It doesn't mean that you can't do those things.
31:33I'm just saying this is the basics that we're working with.
31:37And when we stretch and grow, we can lean into these other roles.
31:40It's actually the amazing thing of humanity.
31:42All right, with that, I'm going to say have an amazing day and even better tomorrow.
31:51And I look forward to seeing you on the next episode of Rich in Relationship.
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