- hace 4 meses
Gangster Sam Vittorio is dying, and he will only reveal the location of his stolen loot to his proteges Connie and Floyd... who look suspiciously like 99 and Max. (This episode is a Bonnie and Clyde parody; the title is a parody of The Secret of Santa Vittoria.)
Categoría
📺
TVTranscripción
00:00You are looking at recently discovered motion pictures of the notorious bank robbing team of Connie and Floyd.
00:13Prior to their apprehension and incarceration, these happy-go-lucky terrorists got their kicks robbing banks all the way from Gallup, New Mexico, to Flagstaff, Arizona.
00:24And don't forget Winona, Kingman, Harstow, and San Bernardino.
00:28Miss Connie Barker, daughter of a Carney Barker, yearning for the bright lights and the gay life of the big city, ran away from home at the age of three.
00:39Lloyd Darrow, on the other hand, couldn't run away from home because he lived in a trailer camp.
00:45And no matter how far he went, home was always catching up to him.
00:50Now, why would a good-looking kid like that turn to a life of crime?
00:53The fact that he couldn't do anything else made this good-looking kid turn to a life of crime.
00:59Connie and Floyd cut a swath of crime through seven states, robbing banks and eluding capture by the police.
01:06Through it all, they got along famously.
01:08Although they were never actually married, they often acted like they were.
01:13Connie and Floyd were inseparable.
01:15They had a fantastic relationship and were considered by their contemporaries to be two of the swellest crooks in the Southwest.
01:22They were always on the run, stopping only now and then to have their picture taken and fix a bumper.
01:34Connie and Floyd meet sneaky Sam Vittorio.
01:40Had they not followed the life of crime, Connie and Floyd would have undoubtedly ended up in the used car business.
01:46The Darrow gang might have remained a pair of small-time hoods,
02:11had it not been for a chance meeting with Floyd's boyhood hero, the biggest bank robber of them all,
02:17sneaky Sam Vittorio, so-called because of his odd penchant for wearing tennis sneakers while pulling jobs.
02:24These are amazing newsreel pictures, chief.
02:28They're not newsreel pictures, 99.
02:30Connie and Floyd carried their own photographer.
02:32These are their personal films.
02:36It's little wonder that Connie and Floyd were so smitten with Vittorio,
02:41for this affable crook was responsible for closing more banks than the Depression.
02:45This was the beginning of a long and prosperous relationship between Vittorio and Connie and Floyd.
02:58They remained inseparable,
03:01piling up one of the most impressive records in the annals of modern crime.
03:09Now you see why I wanted you to take a look at that film.
03:12Well, that's it, chief.
03:13There's no time to waste, 99.
03:1499, we've got to go get those crooks.
03:16Max, that film was made 30 years ago.
03:19Well, all the more reason why we should hurry.
03:21They've got a big head start on us.
03:24Max, are you all right?
03:27Missed me by that much, chief.
03:29Connie and Floyd have been in jail for 30 years.
03:32What about Sam Vittorio, chief?
03:33Good question, 99.
03:35Don't you think that was a good question, chief?
03:37Yes, I do, Max.
03:38Me too.
03:39In answer to your question, 99,
03:40they were never able to make a conviction stick against Sam Vittorio.
03:43However, they deported him in 1937 as an undesirable alien.
03:47To Italy?
03:48No, to Pittsburgh.
03:50Pittsburgh?
03:51Yeah, they really threw the book at him.
03:52He's been living there in exile ever since.
03:54Chief, in looking at the film,
03:56I can't help but be struck by the remarkable resemblance of Connie and Floyd.
03:59Oh, really?
04:00I didn't think they looked anything alike.
04:02How about each other, Max?
04:03Like us.
04:04That's precisely why you were chosen for this assignment.
04:06You see, even though Sam Vittorio robbed more than 150 banks,
04:10when he was arrested, all he had on him was $1.36.
04:13Well, $1.36 went a lot further in those days, chief.
04:16Vittorio must have stolen millions,
04:18but we've never been able to find out where he hid it.
04:20Now it looks like we're finally going to get a break.
04:22What happened, chief?
04:23We've gotten word that Vittorio is dying,
04:25and he's made arrangements to break Connie and Floyd out of prison.
04:28Apparently, he's going to tell them his secret.
04:30What secret?
04:31Where Vittorio hid the money, Max.
04:33Well, even if he does tell them,
04:36how are we going to get them to tell us?
04:38He's not going to tell them, Max.
04:40He's going to tell you,
04:41because you two are going to pose as Connie and Floyd.
04:44Well, with a strong resemblance, chief,
04:46we should be able to pull it off.
04:47I can't impress upon you the importance of this assignment.
04:50If Chaos should get their hands on that money before we do,
04:52they could finance their operations for years.
04:54Don't worry, chief.
04:55We won't let you down.
04:56We're depending upon you.
04:57Now, here's the plan.
04:59Tomorrow morning, Connie and Floyd are being transferred
05:01to a co-educational maximum security prison farm.
05:05Vittorio has bribed the guards transporting them
05:07who will allow them to escape at a rendezvous point on Route 12.
05:10Luckily, we found out about it in time.
05:12The two guards were placed under arrest,
05:14and Connie and Floyd were transferred last night.
05:16Now, Agent Larrabee and I will replace the two guards,
05:19and tomorrow morning at the rendezvous point,
05:21you two will be making your escape.
05:22Have you got it?
05:23Not all of it, chief.
05:24What part didn't you get?
05:25The part after.
05:26Now, here's the plan.
06:27We're nearing the rendezvous point.
06:37Vittorio has arranged for a car to be left there for you.
06:39Now, remember, his men will be watching from a vantage point,
06:42so when you jump, make it look good.
06:43How fast will we be going when we jump, chief?
06:45We'll slow it down some, Max,
06:47but we've got to make it look authentic.
06:48Get the handcuffs on.
06:49Something's the matter, Max?
06:57What's the matter?
06:57I'm going to the tank.
06:59I see the getaway car up ahead, chief.
07:01Now, remember, you're to drive to a place called Danny's Diner on Route 63.
07:26The Vittorio's men will contact you there.
07:29Now, get ready.
07:30Okay.
07:31One, two, three.
07:38Max, why didn't you jump?
07:39I did, 99, but I forgot to unfasten my seatbelt.
07:44All right, Laramie, take the next cutoff.
07:46We'll try it again.
07:55Seatbelt unbuckled, Max?
07:57Right, chief.
07:58Okay.
07:59One, two, three.
08:06Sorry about that, 99.
08:08I thought we were going out this door.
08:10We'll try it again.
08:12Take the next cutoff.
08:15Your seatbelt's unbuckled where you're going out that door,
08:18and there'll be no slip-ups this time.
08:20This is it.
08:20The door won't open, Max.
08:22Let me, 99.
08:24Hurry.
08:25Sit back, 99.
08:28Get me a doctor.
08:30I think I've just broken my ankle.
08:33Get going, Max.
08:34The door's working.
08:35Okay, one.
08:36Wish us luck, chief.
08:37Two, three.
08:46Chief, what are you doing here?
08:47Was there a change in plans?
08:50Oh.
08:51Go ahead, chief.
08:52Get it all out of your system.
08:55Vittorio's men are watching.
08:56We've got to make this look legitimate.
08:58May you take my gun.
09:01I'll run.
09:02And you shoot at me.
09:03But for heaven's sakes, miss me.
09:05Right, chief.
09:10Help!
09:11Help!
09:12Help!
09:14Help!
09:15Help!
09:15Help!
09:16Help!
09:17Help!
09:17Help!
09:17Help!
09:18Help!
09:19Help!
09:20Help!
09:20Help!
09:21Help!
09:22Help!
09:23Help!
09:24Help!
09:25Help!
09:26Help!
09:27Help!
09:27Hold it, 99.
09:38We're going the wrong way.
09:39How can you tell?
09:40Because I have an uncanny sense of direction.
09:43I have an instinctive feel for this kind of thing.
09:46But if you really want to know, I have three reasons.
09:48First, the sun is over my right shoulder.
09:50Second, the leaves in this section of the country have a peculiar discoloration.
09:55And three, we're on a slight upgrade when we should be walking downhill.
09:59Now, if my wind calculations are correct, Danny's diner should be seven miles in that direction.
10:05Max, that's fantastic.
10:07Thank you, 99.
10:07Let's hold hands.
10:26That way, no one will be able to see the handcuffs.
10:28Right, Max.
10:29I'm coming through.
10:42You sit there.
10:43I'll sit over here.
10:45Max.
10:47Oh.
10:48Now, pardon me, fella.
10:49But would you mind sitting here?
10:50We'd like to sit together.
10:51Okay.
11:21I think this guy sitting next to me is our contact.
11:35Are you sure?
11:36Well, I've had enough experience with the criminal element to know a crook when I see one, 99.
11:41Now, Max, we've got to be absolutely certain.
11:43I am absolutely certain.
11:44Look at that face, those shifty eyes.
11:47Anything else, Sheriff?
11:48Oh, Max, we've got to be more careful.
11:59If you'd given us away, our whole mission would have failed.
12:02Well, I don't think it's fair for a war man not to wear a uniform.
12:06Now, you take those two guys there.
12:09I know for sure.
12:10I can tell that they're cops.
12:11Okay, come in, Floyd.
12:16You've got a choice.
12:17You come along quietly or go out feet first.
12:20Now, just a moment, officer.
12:21You're making a big mistake.
12:22We're not who you think we are.
12:24Oh, dummy up, Floyd.
12:25We ain't cops.
12:26We're Vittorio's boys.
12:27Why did you get those uniforms?
12:29We knocked out a couple of guys and took them.
12:31Yeah, the whole countryside is lousy with fuzz.
12:34We figure this is the safest way to get you to the bus.
12:36Well, when you get us in the car, you've got to get us out of these handcuffs.
12:39And you'd better get rid of those uniforms.
12:41Why?
12:42Well, if we happen to be stopped at a roadblock,
12:45it's going to be pretty hard to explain to them how we got arrested by two firemen.
12:51I told them there was no such a thing as a red police car.
12:55Connie Barker and Floyd Darrow did it again.
12:57They broke out of the state maximum security penitentiary,
13:00and despite the best efforts of the police of four states,
13:03Connie and Floyd have managed to slip through several dozen roadblocks.
13:06And at this moment are still at large.
13:10That's my kids.
13:12And now on the lighter side of the news,
13:14two firemen were found walking on Route 63 in their underwear today.
13:18And they claim...
13:19Get out of here.
13:22It's me, boss.
13:23I got you-know-who with me.
13:25What?
13:26What?
13:36Well, just don't stand there.
13:46Tell Sam we're here.
13:49Hey.
13:50Yes, well, don't just stand there.
13:51Tell Sam we're here.
13:53We're here, Sam.
13:58Welcome home, kids.
13:59Now, for old time's sake, give me the secret handshake.
14:02The old secret handshake, Floyd.
14:15I'm waiting.
14:15Ah, yes.
14:17The old secret handshake.
14:18Of course.
14:19Why, you remember the old secret handshake, Connie,
14:21that Sam and I always used to give to each other?
14:23Oh, sure.
14:26Would you settle for a kiss?
14:27That's the second part.
14:28Now, get over here.
14:29Give me the handshake.
14:34Now, that's the old secret handshake.
14:37Well, well, in that case, could we skip the kiss?
14:41I know you're old man here.
14:42He could never walk to a room without falling over something.
14:46You need me for anything else, boss?
14:48No, Monk, you did a good job.
14:50Just one more thing.
14:51What?
14:52Get out of here.
14:54Well, kids, this calls for a big celebration.
14:57But I mean a real celebration.
15:00I'm going to phone Rocky and get him to get all the old gang together.
15:02They're dying to see you.
15:04Mix us some drinks, Floyd.
15:06Yeah, good idea, Sam.
15:07What'll you have?
15:07The usual.
15:08The you, you, you, usual.
15:12What is the usual?
15:13I don't know, Max.
15:14That wasn't in our indoctrination course on Vittorio.
15:16What are we going to do?
15:18Well, I'll just, I'll just have to think of something.
15:21Yeah, I'm really sorry.
15:24That's too bad.
15:24I just talked to Rocky's old lady who went out to bust the bank tonight, and he won't
15:29be back for 20 years.
15:30They caught him.
15:31You know, Sam, we got word that you wanted to see us about something.
15:34Oh, yeah.
15:36Yeah, I guess you kids are hurt.
15:37I ain't going to be around much longer.
15:39That's right.
15:40I'm making the big break.
15:41Well, we've heard that.
15:42But you don't look sick.
15:44I don't feel sick, neither.
15:45But Dr. Foster said I could go for 30 days.
15:47Is that all?
15:48Is that all?
15:49Are you kidding?
15:50No judge was ever able to give me 30 days.
15:53Even at that, I'm out living the dark.
15:55He got killed.
15:56What happened?
15:57Oh, right after he told me I only had 30 days, I shot him.
16:01Hey, Floyd, how about my drink?
16:03Ah, coming right up, Sam.
16:08There you are.
16:11This should give you a big lift.
16:13Now, where's mine?
16:14Oh, yeah, this is it.
16:18Thanks, Floyd.
16:19Yeah, my pleasure, Sam.
16:25You know, it's just like old times.
16:27And you two kids are the closest thing to family I have.
16:31When a man feels his time is coming, that he has to get out,
16:35he likes to leave something valuable to the people he holds dear to remember him by.
16:41But this is no time to get modeling.
16:45Of course, it's no secret that I got a secret, and I'm going to tell it to you.
16:49When the time comes.
16:52However, the time could come sooner than I expect.
16:55But that's being negative.
16:58I'll tell you what we'll do.
17:00You go ahead.
17:01I'll wait here.
17:03Oh, let's have a game of pinoch.
17:05Look, Sam, why don't you tell us the secret first?
17:08Like you said, Sam, the time could come sooner than you think, sort of unexpectedly.
17:11No, no, no.
17:12I'll know when the time is coming.
17:16My room will suddenly grow dark, and I'll hear the voice of an angel singing.
17:21But besides, I still got 30 days, and I feel pretty good.
17:24Don't I get a little tired once in a while?
17:28Matter of fact, I think I'll go upstairs and take a rest.
17:32Oh, and kids, when the time comes, I want you to do me a big favor.
17:39What's that, Sam?
17:40Tiptoe into my room and a whisper in my ear that my mother, the car, is coming back on television.
17:46Why?
17:47So I won't mind the gun.
17:52Max, we can't stay here a whole month.
17:54We're getting married in a few weeks, and I've already sent out the wedding invitations.
17:58Are you sure?
17:58I didn't get one.
18:00Max, a groom doesn't get an invitation to his own wedding.
18:03Besides, Vittorio may live longer than 30 days.
18:06You're right, 99.
18:07Gangsters aren't very dependable.
18:08Anyway, I don't see how we can keep up the Connie and Floyd disguise that long.
18:1299, we've got to get Vittorio to tell us a secret.
18:14But how can we do that?
18:16Well, we've got to make him believe that he's dying right now.
18:20But how?
18:21We'll shoot him.
18:21Yes?
18:36I know Connie and Floyd escaped.
18:38We engineered the whole thing.
18:40The real Connie and Floyd?
18:45Chief, the real Connie and Floyd just escaped.
18:48Oh, I know that.
18:48You just told me on the phone.
18:49Was that you?
18:50I thought I'd dial my wife.
18:51The place of 99 are in danger.
18:53Let's go.
18:54Chief, do I have time to call my wife?
19:02Who's there?
19:03Up and up.
19:04It's Connie and Floyd.
19:07What are you doing out there?
19:09It's dangerous.
19:10You're telling us.
19:11Where's Sam?
19:12Upstairs, taking a nap.
19:13Come on, Connie.
19:14Let's go.
19:15Hey, hold it.
19:16You can't disturb him.
19:18When he finds out we're here, he's going to want to see us right away.
19:20What are you talking about?
19:22You just went...
19:22Hey, look.
19:23I want to see Connie and Floyd right away.
19:26See?
19:27Come on, Connie.
19:27Now, what we have to do is to go up to Sam's bedroom and make him believe that the end
19:41is drawing near.
19:41But how are we going to do that?
19:43Well, Sam gave us the clue himself.
19:45He said when the end is drawing near, the lights in the room would dim and he would hear
19:48the voice of an angel singing.
19:50Come on.
19:59Hello, Angelo.
20:00Copper cleaners.
20:02Yeah, I want you to pick up a rug that'll need clean in about ten minutes.
20:05Yeah.
20:06Yeah, it'll have two big red spots in it.
20:09And the bodies from once they came.
20:11Now, look.
20:11Let me talk to Angelo.
20:12Come in.
20:21Angelo, guess who this is?
20:22Sam!
20:23Yeah, how'd you guess?
20:25Be right with you.
20:27Well, how do you like that for a greeting from a guy we haven't seen for 20 years?
20:30I told you we should have written to him more often from prison.
20:33Yeah, that's all right, Angelo.
20:35He had a custom job which would suit my needs perfectly.
20:40Yeah, look.
20:42Wait a minute.
20:44Hey, Floyd, get my pills, will you?
20:46They're in the closet in my gray pinstripe suit.
20:48Sure thing, Sam.
20:56I'll go in and dim the lights.
20:58Max, you wait out here a few seconds, and then you come in, singing, and try to sound like an angel.
21:04Right, Max.
21:05I certainly hope this works.
21:12Oh, I'm sorry, Sam.
21:13I thought you were still sleeping.
21:17How did you do that?
21:19Do what?
21:19Get in here before I did.
21:21I came in with you.
21:23But you were supposed to wait until I dimmed the lights.
21:25I was?
21:26Yeah, yeah, I know, Angelo.
21:28Oh, wait a minute.
21:30Hey, Floyd, where's my pills?
21:31I don't know.
21:32Then they must be in my other robe in that closet.
21:34Go and get them, will you?
21:35Sure, Sam.
21:39Hey, now, don't keep me waiting, Angelo.
21:41Hey, Connie, get me a drink of water, will you, from that bathroom, baby?
21:45Sure, Sam.
21:52Here, Phil, Sam.
21:53Here, Sam.
21:53Here, Sam.
21:58What are you doing?
22:03I'm singing.
22:04Why didn't you lower the lights?
22:05Why, do you sound better in the dark?
22:08Will you give me some water before I choke?
22:10I'll get it for you, Sam.
22:16Here's your water, Sam.
22:17Wait a minute.
22:20How did you do that?
22:21Do what?
22:22Why do you keep asking me that?
22:24Yeah, okay, Angelo.
22:27See you later.
22:29Thank you, Connie.
22:32And now I got something for the two of you.
22:39Sam!
22:41Max!
22:42Me!
22:43About two bottles, Sam.
22:45Which one do you want, the big pills or the little pill?
22:46Oh, Max, thank heaven you're all right.
22:50But Sam's been shot.
22:52Oh, in that case, I better give him the big ones.
22:57Max, he's still alive.
22:59Oh, Connie Floyd, you finally got here.
23:03Yes, it's us, Sam.
23:04I gotta tell you my secret.
23:06Take it easy, Sam.
23:07Don't try to talk.
23:08Save your strength.
23:09You know, I ain't got much time, but I gotta talk to you.
23:14Come closer.
23:14It's a secret.
23:17Oh, Max!
23:18I'm all right, 99.
23:20You know, in my lifetime, I must have robbed 150 banks.
23:25Maybe 160.
23:27I guess it was closer to 200.
23:30Yeah, 200 banks, Sam.
23:31Yeah, oh.
23:32192 to be exact.
23:35Where did you hide the money, Sam?
23:37What money?
23:38Most of the banks I robbed went bust in the Depression.
23:42Well, then what's your secret?
23:44Crime doesn't pay.
23:48Crime doesn't pay.
Recomendada
25:28
|
Próximamente
24:46
25:35
24:45
25:28
1:33
4:31
1:11:18
24:14
18:10
15:09
1:55
1:12:12
1:26:33
1:42:29
32:19
27:50
30:51
Sé la primera persona en añadir un comentario