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Gaymer Series
  • 7/19/2025
EastSiders Gay Theme TV Series

Drama, Romance, Comedy, Action, Fantasy, Crime, Thriller

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Transcript
00:00You
00:09Hillary where are you back in with mom in Arizona? You can't just move in with mom
00:15She's my mom besides. I am going back to school for environmental studies
00:23Calvin just be happy for me. I'm I'm maturing. I am becoming a mature adult human being
00:30Do you want to talk to Ian? No, I am ghosting him besides. It's easier for everybody. Trust me
00:35I've done this before you have
00:38Yeah, of course I have you know what tell him that I met someone I just I met this guy
00:43And I found out that he is actually a prince. Oh, no, no. Just tell him that I had a botched abortion
00:51What's that? No, this is not my job. No, this is not my fucking job
00:54No, you cannot make me do this. I'm not doing this again, Hillary Hillary
00:57I'm not doing this. You have to tell him you have to tell him
01:01Tell me something true
01:11My manager told me to watch you
01:16No, don't lose it just paying cash
01:21It's like you're on a mission
01:23Basically, you mind if I sit? My day is super late
01:28Go for it
01:31You need to meet somebody?
01:34Nope
01:36I am all alone
01:38Break up
01:42Yup
01:45You want to talk about it?
01:48I'm good
01:49Yeah, I get that
01:55Hey
01:56Do you want a bro job?
02:03What?
02:04What it sounds like
02:07Drink here
02:08I don't know, I mean
02:09I live down the street
02:18Fuck it
02:19Fuck it
02:20And when you've got nothing to live for
02:23You've got nothing to prove
02:27If there's no more love in your heart
02:31Oh, God
02:32Oh, God
02:37Oh, my God
02:38Oh, my God
02:41Oh, my God
02:43Oh, my God
02:45Oh, my God
02:47Wait, so you're not having sex?
02:48Oh, no, we're having lots of sex
02:49With lots of different people
02:50But what about just the two of you?
02:52Well, no, we're having more of that, too
02:53Just not necessarily the kind of sex
02:54That I want to be having
02:56Girl, this is a riddle
02:57I'm gonna need more specifics
02:58I need all the hoary details
03:00Give me, like, the last five times
03:01You guys have had sex
03:02With each other
03:03Okay, well
03:05Last week we had sex on Monday
03:07Oh, oh, fuck
03:09Tuesday
03:10Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck
03:11Wednesday
03:13Oh, oh, shoot
03:14No, wait
03:15Dad was at work on Wednesday
03:16Thursday
03:19And Friday
03:20That's date night
03:23Saturday, we met this guy on Scruff
03:25You guys should really meet my husband
03:27Yeah
03:29And then on Sunday
03:30He brought his husband over
03:31It's so nice to meet you guys
03:33You too
03:34Where are you guys from?
03:35East Texas
03:37Where are you guys from?
03:38I'm from Florida
03:39Damn, man, you're complaining?
03:42I'm not complaining
03:43I just
03:44Don't always necessarily
03:45Want to go straight to pound town
03:46You know, sometimes
03:47I want to
03:48Fuck, I don't know
03:49Make love
03:50Shut up, faggot
03:51You're getting the D nightly
03:52Sometimes double D
03:53And you're complaining to me?
03:55A goddamn married woman?
03:56I haven't had sex with Quincy
03:57In like two weeks
03:58Jesus
03:59I mean, that's normal, right?
04:00You're under a lot of stress
04:01The wedding's in less than a week
04:02And besides
04:03A relationship should be about
04:04More than just sex
04:05Well, what is a relationship to you, Alex, for 200?
04:09A relationship is knowing that there's somebody who's always there for you no matter what
04:14Who's always behind you
04:15Who's in your corner
04:16Like the accent, man?
04:18Sure
04:19A light in the dark
04:20Ugh, that's gross
04:22Me and Quincy are in opposite corners
04:24Ding, ding, ding
04:25Like gay MMA
04:26This is the wall
04:27Okay
04:28Got it
04:35I absolutely would've eaten that
04:37I thought you were vegan
04:38I'm a vegetarian
04:39Except for all that
04:40DIP
04:41Oh yeah
04:42Or a manorexian
04:43Sausage only
04:44Like a paleolithic prostitute
04:45Sure
04:46Shit, I need to get laid
04:47I used to jump Quincy before the rehearsal tonight
04:49You got some time?
04:50I can't, I gotta get ready
04:51How long did it possibly take you to take off your makeup?
04:53Mmm, I'm putting more on
04:55It's my wedding
04:56I'm gonna paint this bitch up like Sistine Chapel
04:58You're doing the wedding in drag?
05:00Naturally
05:01This is gonna be the crown jewel of my wedding portfolio
05:04The house down boots
05:05Oh, but Quincy doesn't know yet
05:07Girl what?
05:08It's a beauty surprise
05:10And no, you don't get to say girl
05:13That's appropriation
05:14And femme queens have already appropriated that from strong black women, okay?
05:17That's fucked up
05:18And I kinda femme sometimes
05:20Just because you're a bottom doesn't make you femme
05:22I am not a bottom, okay?
05:24You're not a bottom, shame me
05:25You should be bottom ashamed of yourself
05:27Mind your own bottom business you bottom feeder bottom bitch
05:30Quincy loves surprises
05:32We'll be fine
05:34Don't make that bottom face with me
05:36I'm versatile
05:39That was fun
05:41I was not expecting that
05:44Yeah, me either
05:46Thought I was getting blown by a completely different day this happened
05:49Yeah, what happened to your date?
05:53Who cares?
05:54Now he's blowing up my scruff
05:56Your black girl
05:58Seems kinda harsh
06:00Yeah, snooze you lose
06:02Who the fuck shows up half an hour late to a hookup?
06:05It's so rude
06:06Wait, was it a hookup or a date?
06:08I call hookup dates
06:09I call hookup dates
06:10It's classier
06:11It's always good to meet in a public place just in case the dude's like a Jeffrey Dahmer type or, you know, face tuning every fucking picture
06:20And they say romance is dead
06:23Aww
06:25Are you trying to act like this is out of character?
06:27Uh
06:28Actually, I'm more of a long-term relationship kind of guy
06:33Oh really?
06:34And I just sorta got dumped, so
06:35Oh shit
06:36Uh, that I'm not looking for a relationship
06:39Just so you know
06:44Oh man
06:46What's funny?
06:47You really don't do this very often
06:50I mean, no
06:51Not since college
06:53There was one guy in Berlin when I was on my walkabout and that got real weird real fast
06:57Walkabout?
06:58Mm-hmm
06:59Mm-hmm
07:00There was another guy in Amsterdam
07:01I guess I'm pretty gay in Europe
07:04But, um
07:06Only ever dated women
07:08Oh
07:09So, you're straight
07:13That's all right
07:15Thanks
07:16Or at least, that's what I tell people
07:18Yeah
07:20So you're not straight
07:22I mean
07:24Not entirely
07:25Yeah, no shit
07:28But, I mean, you identify as straight
07:32Yeah, I mean, I guess so
07:34Yeah
07:35It's just kinda easier that way
07:37You don't have to constantly explain yourself
07:39And people get, like, universally weird when they feel like they don't know what to call you
07:43Except for teenagers on the internet who think it's problematic to call anybody anything
07:47But I'm not attracted to teenagers, so...
07:50Good, neither am I
07:51Well, I mean, it's like 19
07:52Yeah
07:53Yeah
07:54Ew, that seemed creepy
07:58Everybody thinks I'm straight and they, like, get off on it, but secretly I'm low-key super gay
08:03I mean, I'm not trying to brag, but I watched the entire first season of RuPaul's Drag Race and my mom had a cesarean section
08:11Platinum
08:12I'm pretty fascinated by this, though, so...
08:17You really don't label yourself
08:19I guess I'd leave that to other people
08:22So you're...
08:24Sure, if that's easier for you
08:27Would you actually date a guy?
08:30Maybe
08:32I haven't met a guy that I wanted to date
08:35Ouch
08:37No, I'm sure you're great
08:38I'm sure you're very dateable
08:40Dude, I just... I'm totally fucking with you
08:42I actually have a boyfriend
08:44Are any gay guys monogamous?
08:46We are! I mean, when we're together, he lives in Peru most of the year, though, so...
08:50Well, that sucks
08:52No, it's fucking amazing
08:53He's loaded, he flies me to Peru, and we fuck
08:56That actually is a pretty good deal
08:58Mm-hmm
08:59It's amazing
09:00You been to Machu Picchu?
09:02We fucked on Machu Picchu
09:04You should follow me on Instagram
09:07No, for real, come here, mom
09:09Yo
09:15I also have an OnlyFans
09:17What's that?
09:18Mm-hmm
09:19You are old, man
09:21You're so fucking old
09:23Alright, I should probably get going
09:25What is that?
09:27Oh, hey boys, don't mind me
09:29Hey, roomie
09:30This is Ian
09:31He was just leaving
09:32Hi
09:34Ian?
09:36Wendy?
09:40Oh, fuck
09:42I knew it
09:43What?
09:44You're gay
09:45Actually, he's not
09:47We were just talking about that
09:49Is that what you were doing?
09:52Amongst other things
09:55So you guys know each other?
09:57We went on a couple of dates
09:58Three
10:00No shit
10:03Oh, wait
10:05So this is that Ian?
10:07This is hipster overalls landscape?
10:10Ian?
10:11This is nice guy Ian?
10:13Why does everybody call me that?
10:15I thought you were hung up on some long distance chick
10:19But this makes way more sense
10:22Okay, I was
10:24And see, everybody gets weird
10:26I'm not getting weird
10:28Oh, you're getting weird
10:29You're getting weird
10:30So this is like a non-binary fluid millennial thing
10:35That's cool, I'm cool with that
10:37Yeah, except I'm 38
10:39Fucking hot daddy
10:41Love it
10:43I don't like labels either
10:45I've been with a few women
10:46Yeah, both today
10:48I got you to make out with two girls at Burning Man
10:49That's all you've done
10:50You didn't get me to do anything
10:51They came into my tent
10:52On their own
10:54Yeah, I set that up
10:56Trying to relate
10:58We're in the same Burning Man camp
11:00Well, if you really want to relate
11:02Maybe you two should exchange numbers
11:06I mean, I still have you saved
11:10Then it's a date
11:12It's not weird for you guys?
11:14Not any more weird than it is already
11:17You can put your pants on
11:20Yeah
11:22Hi, hi, Douglas
11:24I'm running a little behind
11:25I told the Uber driver to take third
11:26Because it's residential
11:28His iPhone told him to take Beverly
11:29Because it's a computer
11:30And it knows better than us
11:31But he took the 101
11:32Which you should never take
11:33In any direction, on any day
11:34Ever, for any reason, ever
11:36I love being late
11:38Okay, so her merch table
11:39That's gonna live right over here
11:40And those t-shirts
11:41You can just bring them up
11:42Hi, I'm important
11:43Hi, oh, yes you are, Papa Bear
11:45You're the most important bear
11:46In that cave?
11:48Where do bears live?
11:49Denver, Long Beach, P-Town
11:50But only for a week
11:51Where's Douglas?
11:52Who's Douglas?
11:53Oh, that is Amber Alert's boy name
11:54Yeah, okay, but do we have
11:55A price point for this merch?
11:56Okay, who are all these clipboard people
11:57And did you just say merch?
11:58Okay, well, this is Ricky
11:59He's my assistant
12:00I'm gonna let him fill you in
12:01On all the new changes
12:02No, come here
12:03No, come back here, you little elf
12:04I need to talk to you
12:05Hi, I'm Ricky
12:06I'm in charge here
12:07And you are?
12:08I'm the person that's paying for all this
12:09Oh, so you're rich
12:10Okay, what the fuck's
12:13Hi, hi, hi
12:15Hey, I didn't know where you wanted the photos set up
12:17Okay, who are all these people?
12:18The wedding party?
12:19I thought you knew the models
12:20Okay, Tom, this isn't a photo shoot for Mr. Turk
12:21Pictures are gonna be great
12:22Uh-uh, shh, quiet
12:23Jimmy?
12:24Yep, Jimmy
12:25Hi, who are, huh, all these thoughts?
12:28Okay, but that doesn't really track grammatically
12:30Like these, that hoe over there
12:31Okay, who are they?
12:32They are influencers
12:33They're extremely influential
12:34Uh, how many followers do you have?
12:35100K
12:36How many followers do you have?
12:37250K
12:38When was the Battle of Hastings?
12:401066
12:41Um, excuse me
12:42Are you a PA on this set?
12:43Because I haven't received any menus for my walk away lunch
12:45Yeah, and I need my parking validated
12:47Bitch, you don't even have a car
12:48What's the principle?
12:49Okay, we said no wedding party
12:50So why does it look like the Work the World Tour
12:52Is having an OnlyFans orgy up in here?
12:54What is happening?
12:55You need to talk to Douglas
12:56I need to talk to you right now
12:57No, no, no, oh, Jimmy
12:58Is she a girl that looks good? Let's go
12:59Come on, Jimmy
13:00Jimmy
13:01Jimmy, I have questions
13:02I have a lot of fabric different
13:03Jimmy
13:04Drama
13:05Can you just explain to me how my wedding has become the ninth circle of gay hell?
13:09Okay, she will explain what she needs to hear
13:11Okay, you can't refer to gay men as she, alright?
13:12It's an offense to people that identify as female
13:14No, she's right
13:15Can I get a minute? Also, what is she doing here?
13:17She's one of the dancers
13:18A dancer?
13:19No, no, no, no, Miguel
13:20Do not put glitter in there
13:21And we'll never get our deposit back
13:23So just like rose petals
13:24You know, like that girl in the movie with the tub
13:27American Beauty, Mina Tsubari
13:29He shall not be named
13:30Nailing it
13:31Okay, so yeah, rose petals, candy, maybe throw in some molly
13:34It's like my quinceanera
13:35Where's Douglas?
13:36We were supposed to rehearse this number an hour ago
13:38Rehearsing what number?
13:39Oh, shh
13:40Here she comes
13:41Did your baby just get kidnapped?
13:44Because, bitch, you just got an Amber Alert
13:47It's not rolling, can I take it again?
13:54Come on, back to one
13:55I'm sorry
13:56I'm getting married
13:57Good night
14:02And good luck
14:04Um, good luck with
14:06Um, you know, like that movie
14:08Good night and good luck
14:09Good night and good luck
14:10Oh, Edward R. Murrow
14:12Who?
14:13Good luck with what?
14:14I don't need luck for anything
14:17I'm just leaving an hour early
14:18Oh, you are?
14:19Mm-hmm
14:20Did they find a cure for cancer?
14:21Oh, sweet burn
14:23So you just waltz out when you feel like it?
14:25Yeah, is that one of the perks of being the perfect man?
14:28Huh
14:29Hardly
14:30Oh, come on
14:31You know you are
14:32Yeah
14:33Handsome doctor
14:34Sexy husband
14:36Sexy husband
14:37Foster dad
14:38I mean, it beats my evening
14:40You're meeting your man and I'm eating some ham
14:42I'm sorry, I didn't expect for that to rhyme
14:44How did you know I was meeting Jeremy?
14:46Oh, um, I'm a nurse, it's my job to know your schedule
14:49Oh, wait, is it gonna be a sexy night tonight? I didn't see that on the schedule
14:52Ooh, that was not on the schedule
14:54Oh, shit, it is
14:56You know what?
14:57Let me get you some boner pills father time
14:59I'll be right back
15:00Marta
15:01Be right back
15:02And I don't need boner
15:03Can I give you some unsolicited advice?
15:06Please don't
15:07Do one terrible thing to him every week
15:10Like insult his hair or change the HBO Go password, something like that
15:14And why would I do that?
15:16Because perfect shouldn't exist
15:18No one likes a winner
15:20And you are one
15:23And I'm jealous
15:24Good night, Colin
15:28Love you
15:29Mean it
15:35Frank, right?
15:37Call me Barbie
15:38Cause I'm gonna be in that goddamn wedding party
15:40How are you gonna do that?
15:42I should've known she was gonna pull something like this
15:44Honey, she's a selfish kind
15:46You didn't know that?
15:48Do I know that?
15:49Of course I-
15:50Anyway
15:52I'm not missing out on these likes
15:54Oh, God
15:55I hadn't thought of that
15:56There are a lot of followers out there
15:58So, uh, you gonna get into some kind of quick drag
16:01Or you don't even have a wig?
16:02Oh, I keep one in the back of my car for emergencies, don't you?
16:07No, I drive a motorcycle
16:10I'm part of the house angels
16:12Really?
16:13No
16:14But I like lying for attention
16:15I live for it
16:26Ugh, how long is this gonna take?
16:28They said 5pm, so at 5pm I'm out of here
16:30Gone girl, bye
16:32I haven't been paid this little for a gig since I gave hand jobs behind the sizzler
16:36Ugh, that was fun
16:38I felt appreciated
16:40Damn straight
16:41How much are you getting paid for this shit, y'all?
16:43A hundred dollars in a box of pure pills
16:45I charge weekly now
16:46Like a mid-size SUV in Orlando, honey
16:49I need new management
16:51You're gonna shit like a motherfucker
16:53Bro, I have a big drink
16:54Ooh, I want one
16:57But don't you think it's a little tacky
16:58Pimpin' out for fuckin' wedding for YouTube?
17:01I mean, I'm a world-famous drag queen mama
17:03Right, I know, but it checks the check, girl
17:05Yeah, and it likes the likes
17:06My wedding, I'm gonna be blown out of a cannon
17:08Mm-hmm
17:09We're in a little leotard
17:10Mm-hmm
17:11I wanna twirl fire out of my fuckin' titties
17:12I'm like a Fanta fountain
17:13Girl, this wedding sucks shit
17:15This is absolute fail
17:17Fuck yeah, seriously
17:18Seriously
17:19You're insane
17:20You hire Instagram models and drag queens
17:21What the fuck is that?
17:22I don't know
17:23I think I got pink eye from looking at it
17:25Ooh
17:26Are they still arguing?
17:27Yeah
17:28Jesus Christ
17:29Ding ding, bitch
17:30I think it's about to be World War 3
17:32Ooh
17:33Wanna go be bunker buddies in the bathroom?
17:35You know that's a one-time thing
17:36Oh, come on
17:37Never again
17:38Worth a shock
17:41Hey
17:42Guess what I got?
17:44That guy's number?
17:45I wish
17:47No, um
17:48I'm accepting this letter
17:50I'm the Atlanta
17:51You're gonna publish one of my pro trip essays
17:53Hey, congratulations
17:55Which one?
17:57That one
17:58Yeah, okay
17:59Fuck you!
18:00Look at yourself
18:01Shit
18:02Mm-hmm
18:03Let's go to the bathroom
18:04Yup
18:05Oh my god
18:06I don't believe you
18:07Why are you wearing a wedding dress?
18:09Because all this?
18:10Okay, I didn't sign up for all this
18:12And cool, I found out my wedding as sponsored by Scruff
18:14Pure Pills and DragqueenMarch.com
18:16Surprise!
18:17I got the wedding page
18:18I don't like doing SponCon
18:19You sure do when it's a clothing optional resort in Palm Springs
18:21That's different
18:22Oh, sorry to interrupt
18:23But, um
18:24We need a new officiant
18:25What happened to Miriam?
18:26Oh, you mean your beloved childhood church choir leader?
18:29Yes, the person that knows me best
18:30Yeah, upon second thought
18:31She actually decided she doesn't believe in gay marriage
18:34I think she might have Googled you
18:35Ugh
18:36Wow, damn
18:37Okay, you know what?
18:38We don't even have an officiant
18:39I can get ordained
18:40Can't be that hard
18:41I already got ordained
18:42I did it online
18:43Summer has more followers
18:45All right, fine
18:46Summer clearance?
18:47Yes, you're hired
18:48Please get on stage
18:49And why are Werner Herzog's gay nephews documenting everything?
18:52It's like a road to the Super Bowl documentary thing
18:54Oh, of course it is
18:55Yes, dream that dream, bro
18:56That's not a phrase, Cheyenne
18:57Hi, Cheyenne, there's James
18:58Can you be camera operator?
18:59Hi, thank you so much
19:00Please leave
19:01Okay, and you, you know what?
19:02You are so obsessed with vanity and fame
19:04That you don't even care about this relationship
19:06Okay, vanity fame is kind of a good drag name
19:08What will my family think?
19:09Ooh, will my family think is a great drag name
19:11Ooh, Syphilis Diller
19:12Mm-hmm
19:13Winnie bitch cumbersnatch
19:14That's funny
19:15Oh, Farrell Buffett
19:16Okay, get out, get out, get out
19:17Catheter Griffin?
19:18Stop, stop
19:19Quincy!
19:20I have no one coming to this wedding
19:23No one
19:24My family cast me out when I was 15
19:26And Lord knows I don't give a fuck about any of these people
19:29My followers are my family
19:32You don't even like your followers
19:34Yeah, I know, but they provide for me financially
19:36So how is that not a family?
19:38Everyone loves you
19:39No, they don't
19:40Ugh
19:41They, they love Amber
19:43You have friends, I have fans
19:46I think your friends would be surprised to hear you say that
19:49Yeah
19:50And I love you
19:51Huh
19:52Uh, sorry to interrupt, but the bar opens in 30 minutes
19:54So let's just bang this fucker out like a college dress rehearsal of Hello Dolly
19:57I'm Ben Midler
19:58I'm Ben Midler
19:59Mmm
20:04Now, if I'm quoting you correctly, you said, life wants me to decide on decisions, but I haven't decided if I'm ready to make decisions yet, is that right?
20:21I haven't decided
20:22You haven't decided if that's correct or if you're ready to make decisions?
20:25Yeah
20:26Yeah
20:27Great
20:29And Derek, you said you are perfectly happy with the situation and quote, not at all worried about utter failure, is that right?
20:39That's correct
20:40Huh
20:41I see
20:42He agreed to this, now he's acting like I sprung something on him
20:46Mmm, alright
20:48Let's take a breath, shall we?
20:50In
20:51One, two, three
20:55And out
20:56Nice
20:59Now look, first, let's just all acknowledge that your relationship is and has been working
21:06Alright?
21:07Everybody faces obstacles
21:08Now, I'm not a therapist
21:11A psychic
21:13Sorry, that's a Freudian slip
21:16I'm not a psychic
21:17Um, and so I can't predict the future, but I can help lead you towards a solution
21:22So, Derek, have you thought about cutting back on work a bit?
21:27Maybe switching to a four day week?
21:29Heh
21:30What, are we in the south of France?
21:33Well, you are gonna need to find ways to spend more time together off the clock without Sam if this is really gonna work
21:40It's all about balance
21:41So, more time without a kid will show us if we can adopt a kid?
21:47Exactly
21:48You can't learn to swim if you can't walk to the side of the pool
21:54It's not my best
21:59Let's keep talking, shall we?
22:04Well, all I know is that sometimes he says, let's try this out
22:10But what he really means is, I'm gonna do this, good luck everybody
22:14I don't know any other way to be
22:16I live, I make decisions
22:17Yeah, well I told you up front that I wasn't sure about this
22:20You can't know if something is right for you unless you try
22:22I am trying
22:23All right, let's do another breath
22:25In
22:28And out
22:29I love breathing
22:33All right, now I am going to prescribe you this
22:38You're not a doctor
22:39Can you just go with it?
22:41Good for one romantic date this week
22:50Is this like a hug coupon?
22:52No, hugs are free
22:54You don't need a coupon for hugs
22:56Please give that to Derek
22:59Now, you will have one romantic date this week, understood?
23:10Good, good
23:14So, how's the sex?
23:18Great
23:19Infrequent
23:20Interesting
23:21Well, have you guys thought about, um, opening up the relationship?
23:28No
23:29Interesting
23:31Let me just say that if, when you do, you know, don't go with a stranger
23:39Perhaps think about choosing someone who has a more intimate knowledge of your relationship
23:46Who really understands the lay of the land, yeah?
23:50Can you think of anyone?
23:52Keep thinking
23:59We're on the same page
24:01Okay, Quincy, come on, you start up here, there you go, okay, Douglas, you're there, yes
24:07Douglas, you're supposed to be up here, the flower boys have to go first
24:11No, we talked about, we're supposed to be up here together and do our vows
24:18Let a bitch make an entrance
24:20Oh, shut up, Summer
24:21It's called compromise
24:23Look it up
24:24Oh, my God
24:25Calm down
24:26Jesus Christ, okay
24:27I'm almost there
24:28Okay
24:29Take your time
24:33Okay, so now I give a little speech, love wins, love is love is love, love is a battlefield, love lifts us up, blah blah blah
24:44Everybody's devastated emotionally, physically, all right
24:48And, uh, you, Quincy, you say your vows
24:52I vow to do what I said, I vow to be the person I already am instead of what the world is
24:56I already am instead of what the world thinks I should be
24:58Great
24:59And then Amber says her vows
25:01And I vow to always be true to myself
25:05And to never be a boring basic bitch because at least one of us in this relationship needs to be interesting
25:11Beautiful
25:12And then we do the whole Quincy to you
25:14Nah
25:15And Douglas to you
25:16Fuck
25:17No
25:18And then what, I just pull this thing
25:20Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
25:21Hey
25:24Ready
25:25That's it
25:27No flowers
25:28No flower boys
25:30No fake wedding party
25:33No dance routine
25:35No more of this
25:36Okay?
25:37Otherwise there's no wedding
25:38Am I clear?
25:39You seem upset
25:41Oh
25:42And another thing
25:45I don't want her wedding officiated by some busted ass drag queen trying to remember the words to Lin-Manuel Miranda's Tony acceptance speech
25:52Now where's Tom?
25:53Tom, you can write
25:54Why don't you write us something new because right now I am speechless
25:58Quincy!
25:59You are beautiful
26:00Thank you
26:01Wait
26:02Wait
26:03Oh
26:04Whoa
26:05Whoa
26:06Oh this is fuck
26:09This is for sure going viral
26:12Check out the flower boys bulge
26:17Yeah
26:19Yeah
26:24We're still getting paid, right?
26:26Wait, you guys are getting paid?
26:32I mean it kind of worked
26:34Douglas gained like 10,000 followers today
26:37Yeah, but it's their wedding
26:38This is insane
26:39Yeah, but they're insane
26:41You have to admit that this is next level
26:43Even for them
26:44Yeah, it was a shit show
26:46God
26:47I mean did they not talk about it like at all?
26:51I think maybe they talked
26:54It's just that neither one of them listened
26:57Yeah, they don't really do much of that
26:59I don't want our wedding to be like that
27:03We're eloping
27:05No friends, no family
27:06No livestream
27:07Our wedding
27:11Yeah
27:14What?
27:16You just
27:17Never brought it up before
27:18Oh that's not true
27:20I used to drop hints like all the time
27:22And then I stopped
27:23For obvious reasons
27:27I always assumed we'd get married someday
27:30Yeah
27:32I mean
27:33Someday
27:36What?
27:37Nothing
27:38I just love you
27:40I just love you
27:45Show me
27:47I wanna be bright light
27:50Big city now
27:55I wanna be bright light
27:57I wanna be bright light
27:58I wanna be bright light
28:02I wanna be bright light
28:03I wanna be bright light
28:04I wanna be bright light
28:05I wanna be bright light
28:06I wanna be bright light
28:07I wanna be bright light
28:08I wanna be bright light
28:09I wanna be bright light
28:10I wanna be bright light
28:11I wanna be bright light
28:12Oh, it's Jared.
28:39He wants to come over.
28:42He'll come.
28:53We'll have some fun and leave.
28:54It'll be great.
28:57Yeah, we haven't seen him in a while.
28:59This'll be fun.
29:04Can you bring someone?
29:05I'm a skank.
29:08I'm a man.
29:09Got that dick in the pillow of my hand.
29:12I'm a skank.
29:14I'm a man.
29:15Got that dick in the pillow of my hand.
29:18I made you suffer, boo.
29:20Want me to fuck you, too?
29:22And pay the bills and keep the house and be in love with you?
29:25Well, I can handle that.
29:26In my fitted calf, I'll be your hubby.
29:29And wifey give you tits and ass, I ain't no please.
29:32Peaches and creams, teenage dreams of dip-filled jeans.
29:36I'll be your hubby.
29:37I'll be your hubby.
29:38I'll be your hubby.
29:39I'll be your hubby.
29:40I'll be your hubby.
29:41I'll be your hubby.
29:42I'll be your hubby.
29:43I'll be your hubby.
29:44I'll be your hubby.
29:45I'll be your hubby.
29:46I'll be your hubby.
29:47I'll be your hubby.
29:48I'll be your hubby.
29:49Transcription by CastingWords