00:00Before we do the Bizarre File, I should play that piece of audio.
00:05Okay. It's real short.
00:07It's very, very quick. It's not an audio illusion or anything like that.
00:11But we don't know where this is.
00:13Graduation ceremony? It looks like a college graduation ceremony.
00:15It was a college graduation.
00:17And, you know, as you walk up, this is your moment.
00:20This is your family is there. It's your time to shine.
00:23You get your name said with the thousands of people in attendance.
00:26You walk across the stage. You grab your diploma that you've worked so, so hard for.
00:31And paid a lot for.
00:32Paid a lot for. This is the culmination.
00:34And as you're walking, they announce your name.
00:38Julie Jerkoff. Forgive me, Kirkoff.
00:42What?
00:44Are you serious?
00:46Yes!
00:46This is legit.
00:48Julie Jerkoff.
00:49Wait, one more time.
00:51Quiet, everyone, please. It's her moment.
00:52Yeah.
00:53Julie Jerkoff.
00:55Forgive me, Kirkoff.
00:56Oh, my God.
00:58Forgive me.
00:59Julie Jerkoff.
01:00Forgive me, Julie Handjoff.
01:02Forgive me, Julie Handy.
01:04Forgive me, Julie Blumpkin.
01:05Forgive me, Julie Dirty Sanchez.
01:07Oh, my God.
01:09Julie Jerkoff.
01:10Forgive me, Kirkoff.
01:12Oh.
01:14Wow.
01:14You know what, though?
01:15That's better than just having your name read that most people are missing anyway.
01:18You know she was called Jerkoff all throughout all her life.
01:22It had to have been a nickname at some point, or friends called it that.
01:26Julie Jerkoff.
01:27Yeah.
01:28Or Julie Jerkoff.
01:30Forgive me, Kirkoff.
01:31If you think about it.
01:32Julie Double Fit.
01:33Oh, my God.
01:34I can't believe I said that.
01:35Or that professor won a nice bet.
01:38Yeah.
01:39Said she would do it.
01:40Julie Salad Tosser.
01:42Oh, it's not even close.
01:43If you think about it, in high school, she probably had Jerkoff as a, I wouldn't even
01:50say a nickname.
01:51You know, they made fun of her.
01:52Maybe even her friends would call her that because it's such an obvious.
01:55Yeah.
01:55And then she gets to college where everybody matures a little bit, and she loses the Jerkoff
02:01for a couple of years.
02:02And then, boom.
02:03It's clear.
02:04And then, boom.
02:04It's clear.
02:04And then, boom.
02:04Kirkhoff is an easy.
02:05I mean, you can come into that, Kirkhoff.
02:07Dude, she's getting her master's degree.
02:09It's a master of science degree as she goes up and hears.
02:13Julie Jerkoff.
02:14Forgive me, Kirkhoff.
02:16Well, and she doesn't, if this is the actual video that we're watching, she doesn't even
02:23flinch.
02:23The girl, Julie.
02:24You know what?
02:25When they're doing it, you couldn't even hear.
02:28You're so excited, and you're just, your focus is walk forward, shake hand, take diploma,
02:33walk off, you know, Jerkoff.
02:35Jerkoff.
02:35Julie Jerkoff.
02:36Julie Jerkoff.
02:37Forgive me, Kirkhoff.
02:40Well, you did very well, Ms. Jerkoff.
02:43And she sounds so sweet.
02:45I know.
02:46Please come up to the microphone, Julie Jerkoff, and tell everyone how you achieved your success.
02:53Forgive me.
02:54It's the Jerkoff way, I think, that we can all emulate.
02:59Oh, my God.
03:00But that's, and you know, there's countless names like that that are being butchered in
03:04similar ceremonies going on.
03:06In fact, it's very weekend, I'm sure.
03:08Absolutely.
03:09There'll be mangled names.
03:10Loads of them.
03:11You realize, any time we have a caller named Julie, we will have to play.
03:17Julie Jerkoff.
03:22It's awesome.
03:24It's the best.
03:25It actually, it made my day yesterday when Casey sent that to me.
03:29So, on that one level, is it sort of cool that you have, I mean, since she's probably dealt
03:35with it her whole life, at least, she has a meme now that's attached to her.
03:38Let's see.
03:39We have a caller on the line real quick.
03:42And I'm going to go to this caller.
03:44Hi, caller.
03:45Good morning.
03:45What's your name?
03:46My name is Julie.
03:48Julie Jerkoff.
03:49Thank you, Julie.
03:50Our first Julie Jerkoff.
03:52Our first to be given the Julie Jerkoff Award.
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