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  • 11 months ago
MJTV: Fester's Wife Almost Commits Grand Theft Auto!

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00:00But seriously, if they say take your time, what are the parameters that you're allowed to take the car?
00:06You said take your time.
00:08That is like beauty's in the eye of the beholder.
00:13We've got a situation with Fester's wife, Allison, where I guess this almost turned into a grand theft auto
00:20and maybe a call to the cops that one of their cars was stolen.
00:23I mean, I'm grateful they called her first before they called the authorities.
00:26All right, so Fester's wife needs a new car as well.
00:31No, no, I just needed some major repairs on mine.
00:34She wants a new car.
00:35Right.
00:35That's what I said.
00:37I said Fester's wife needs a new car as well, correct?
00:40All right, so yes.
00:42Or your wife wants a new car.
00:44She wants a new car.
00:45She's due for a car.
00:46What year is Allison's car?
00:4914 Explorer.
00:50So it's time for her to go.
00:52Dude, that's eight years old.
00:53So what?
00:54It's time for her to go?
00:55What about your car?
00:56My car's great.
00:58You're driving a 2004 Lincoln Town car.
01:00Your wife's driving a 2014 Ford Explorer.
01:04Yeah.
01:04All right.
01:05I'm not going to put out $2,000 a month in car payments.
01:07So your wife wants a new car.
01:10Yes.
01:11And she has her eyes on what?
01:14So she thinks she would like a Tesla.
01:19Why?
01:21I don't know.
01:21Yeah, why is the question.
01:23Why?
01:24Pretty awesome.
01:25The Y, is that the SUV?
01:26Yes, the SUV.
01:27There's the smaller car is the Model 3.
01:31Model 3.
01:32Then there's the Y.
01:32The Y.
01:33Then there's the X.
01:34But that X gets up to like $100,000, $120,000.
01:37That's with the wings, right?
01:38Yeah.
01:38So look at you, Rockefeller.
01:40It's on a website.
01:41Okay?
01:42So the Tesla Model Y is the cheaper SUV.
01:46SUV.
01:47Right.
01:47All right.
01:47So your wife goes to what?
01:49The Tesla store to test drive it?
01:51Yeah.
01:52There's a dealership on Florida Avenue in Tampa.
01:54Okay.
01:54And we went there.
01:55I haven't been there.
01:55Okay.
01:55Well, we went there once and we looked at them and I was like, you know, like telling her,
01:59no, we're not getting this.
02:01She apparently befriended a sales guy.
02:04So on her own, she decides that-
02:06She went by herself.
02:07She went by herself to go drive the Tesla.
02:09Because the salesman's there.
02:10He's super friendly.
02:11To test drive the Tesla.
02:12And he's like, hey, you know, we can set up an appointment to come back for a test drive.
02:15And I'm apparently, I didn't hear this.
02:17The guy calls her.
02:18It sets up a test drive.
02:20He did his job.
02:21All right.
02:21So she goes-
02:22On Tuesday.
02:24Tuesday.
02:24To drive the Tesla.
02:26Yes.
02:26She drove.
02:27And I told her if you're going to, and I knew she was going to go.
02:29She told me she was going.
02:30I said, drive them both.
02:31You know, drive the Model 3.
02:33Drive the Y.
02:34Tell me what you think.
02:35And she does.
02:37Okay.
02:38She takes the Y out for a spin.
02:40But apparently the duration of time that she took the Tesla was a little problematic.
02:46And there was a little concern at the dealership.
02:49Is that it?
02:49I've never been to a car dealership before where they let you take the car by yourself.
02:53Maybe because they don't trust me personally.
02:56And I think that's a good move on their part.
02:57Yeah, you walk into a car dealership, and they're saying, there's no way we're giving
03:02this guy-
03:02They make that sound of all those women screaming.
03:05That's what the salesmen do.
03:07You start walking up.
03:08Are you kidding me?
03:09I wear my white New Balances, the sign of good credit.
03:12I see your wife-
03:13It's Allison.
03:14Well, here's the deal.
03:15That's the thing.
03:15Apparently, Allison had the car out for hours and hours and didn't tell them?
03:21She's on line one.
03:22You can't take it for hours.
03:23That's not true.
03:24That's not what they said.
03:26Is she there?
03:27Pick it up.
03:27Drive it down the street a little bit.
03:30Allison, welcome to the MJ Morning Show, folks.
03:33This is Allison Fester's wife.
03:34Hey there.
03:35Hey.
03:36So, Fester said you had the Tesla out for like over three hours?
03:42Well, they said, take it out, enjoy it, you know, tell us what you think.
03:47Why don't you drive to Gainesville and back, you know?
03:51Well, the key word they said was-
03:53Take it out, enjoy it?
03:55No.
03:55They said, take it out, enjoy it, drive it around.
03:57Take your time.
04:00Oh, they said, take your time.
04:01Take your time.
04:02Have fun.
04:03Yes.
04:04Okay.
04:05She drove.
04:06I thought they said, take your time.
04:08I'm going to go do some stuff.
04:09I'm going to really test it out.
04:11It foals me on the car.
04:12I love the car now.
04:14And they told me, take your time.
04:16I just didn't realize they were trying to get a hold of me.
04:20After three and a half hours, where's our Tesla?
04:24Meanwhile, she's at Publix, she's at Target.
04:26Okay, you make jokes, MJ.
04:27Had to run over to Orlando to pick up something.
04:30Pick up the kids.
04:31She left the store on Florida Avenue, picked up the kids from school.
04:35In a car that's not ours.
04:37The teachers are like, this isn't the car you had yesterday.
04:40Okay.
04:41Drove down Bayshore Boulevard.
04:44Through South Tampa, through Hyde Park, stopped for lunch, went through the drive-thru
04:48at McDonald's to get my kid a cheeseburger.
04:51Hudson is eating a cheeseburger in the back of this Tesla.
04:53It's not ours.
04:54Got all kinds of McDonald's bun crumbs back there now.
04:58Fries jammed everywhere.
05:00Yeah, fries jammed in the seats.
05:02After three hours, Allison's phone rings and she picks it up like, hello.
05:09It's like a friend's calling.
05:11And what they say, are you bringing our Tesla back?
05:15Well, they said, hey, how's it going?
05:17We were worried that you got stuck in a parking lot because when you get there, it doesn't like
05:22shut off.
05:23It's kind of weird to turn back on and everything.
05:26And so they were like, you know, we just didn't want you to be, you know, trapped in a parking
05:30lot.
05:31No, no, no, they thought, no, they thought you stole the car.
05:34Yeah, and that's what I told her.
05:35They were easing in saying, hey, we want to make sure you're okay.
05:39No, they wanted to make sure that they were going to see you in their car again.
05:43Yes, but the thing is that I did not realize, they texted me probably an hour before.
05:52But I didn't look at my text while I was driving.
05:55So you're gone a long time.
05:57They start texting you.
05:58You're not responding.
06:00Tell me.
06:01No, they thought I was gone.
06:02Yeah, they didn't think you were gone because tell me Elon Musk doesn't have a tracker on
06:07that car.
06:07They know where their test drive cars are.
06:09Yeah, you're probably right.
06:10Like, look at this crazy lady going up and down Bayshore.
06:13They probably have a button they can push to, like, shut the car off.
06:17They probably have a camera in it, Allison.
06:19They probably had a camera.
06:20They were sitting at their desks watching you pick up kids and fast food.
06:25Yeah, probably.
06:26I mean, there is a camera up above the rearview mirror.
06:30There's like 12 cameras on the vehicle, Allison.
06:33Every angle has a camera.
06:34You know, how long is too long for a test drive?
06:36The lady said.
06:37That's, you know, that's the question.
06:39The salesperson was wonderful.
06:41Trying to kill the battery?
06:42She said, take.
06:43No, that's like a 350-mile range.
06:45We could have driven it for several more hours.
06:47So the salesperson said, take your time.
06:50The last thing she said before, have fun, drive it around, tell us what you think, take
06:55your time, click.
06:57So let's say that family vacation started just coincidentally that very same day, and you
07:02guys decided to take your time and drive the Tesla to Moab in Utah or something.
07:10I would need to find some charging stations along the way.
07:13But seriously, if they say take your time, what are the parameters that you're allowed
07:19to take the car?
07:20You said take your time.
07:21That is like, beauty's in the eye of the beholder.
07:24Those aren't my words, they're your words.
07:26Take your time.
07:26I'm going to Pahrump, Nevada.
07:28Right.
07:28Let's go.
07:29If you take the car for like three weeks, that would be taking your time.
07:34So what are the written rules of what are the parameters of take your time?
07:39I mean, they didn't make a, I don't think they made a copy of her license or anything.
07:43It's kind of looked at the license to make sure it was valid.
07:45Meanwhile, they're staring at your 2014 heap in the parking lot.
07:48No kidding.
07:49It's just abandoned there.
07:52They offered to burn it for us.
07:54We'll burn this for you.
07:55Are you guys going to get it?
07:56I don't know.
07:57I'm on the, you know me.
07:58Well, you have to order it and I'm trying to convince them and it only costs $200 to put
08:03the order in.
08:04You don't have to pay for it.
08:05Then you got to pay for the other $70,000.
08:08How much is the Model 1?
08:10$70,000?
08:10How much is it?
08:11I think it's 60.
08:13It's right before 70.
08:15Yeah, it's like 60 something plus tax.
08:16Holy cow.
08:17Really?
08:18Yeah.
08:18You get a really nice boat for that.
08:20I'm like, I want a boat.
08:21You were moaning about like a $329 a month lease payment and now she's going to get a $70,000
08:27Tesla?
08:27Listen, I don't want to hear you complain, buddy.
08:29Listen, hold on.
08:30I am keeping it true on the 2004 Lincoln Town car.
08:35That's crazy.
08:36Which I don't carry a note on, by the way.
08:38Allison, did you see the estimate to fix Fester's car?
08:42Yes, I did.
08:43And I think we need to get rid of it.
08:45Yeah.
08:45He could have my Explorer.
08:46There you go.
08:47Yeah.
08:48How many miles does the Explorer have on it?
08:52A hundred, a hundred thousand.
08:55A hundred thousand miles.
08:56It doesn't smell cigar-y enough.
08:58Yeah.
08:58But listen, the primary function of my Lincoln is to be an ashtray for my cigars.
09:03All right.
09:03Now, Fester comes in this morning.
09:05For those that didn't hear the show early this morning, Fester rolls in this morning with
09:11an estimate from a repair shop.
09:13Fester went just to get an alignment.
09:17Fester thinks he's getting like a $99 alignment.
09:21Goes to the automotive place and they say to Fester, you know, we can't do an alignment.
09:26There's just too much wrong with the car.
09:27So, Fester has, and he gave it to me, it's right here, an estimate to fix Fester's car, $3,278.60.
09:39And it needs, replace all ball joints, upper arm, lower joint, replace both struts, replace
09:48both rear shocks, alignment, intake manifold replace, intake manifold coolant and this
09:54and replace sway bar links, waste disposal, anyway, the total cost to fix Fester's car
10:03so it can get an alignment.
10:05Because Fester complained, it says customer complaint, alignment, steering wheel is not
10:09straight and pulls to the left.
10:12That's it.
10:13What's wrong with the car?
10:13Oh, it pulls to the left.
10:14And then also, Fester said it was riding rough.
10:17Not sure if it's because of the alignment.
10:19Well, it's because of the other dozen things that are wrong.
10:23And then there are notes on here.
10:25Fester made notes as the mechanic is going over the estimate of $3,200 to fix Fester's
10:322004 Lincoln Town Car.
10:35Fester's got notes on here.
10:36Originally, the guy at the body shop or the auto shop said, listen, I'll leave the car
10:41here.
10:42And I was like, no, I really need it.
10:43I need to take the car.
10:44So, Fester's notes, 55 is circled.
10:47Why is that?
10:47Because he advised me not to drive above 55 miles an hour.
10:52Don't drive 55 miles an hour.
10:54So, I leave my house at the regular time, except...
10:57Then it says, keep it off all highways.
11:00Yeah.
11:00He goes, I would keep it off all highways and interstates.
11:03And this is the car you drove to work today.
11:06All I drive is interstate.
11:07I drive I-4.
11:08I drive 75, 275.
11:09That's all you drive is interstates.
11:11And he tells you to keep the car off of the interstate.
11:14I don't even know how to get to the radio station.
11:15Because they're using backwards.
11:16Below 55.
11:18Below 55.
11:19Off highways.
11:20Explain this.
11:21Safe, unsafe.
11:21Okay.
11:23So, on the sheet, it says safe slash unsafe.
11:26I said to him, I was like, you know, I could drive it.
11:28I can't break it anymore, can I?
11:30He's like, well, no.
11:31He goes, your car isn't unsafe.
11:34It's not exactly safe either.
11:37And I was like...
11:37I can't drive 55.
11:42You got to drive 35.
11:43I can only drive 55 and less.
11:45That's why I was late to work today.
11:46I leave the house at the normal time, but I'm going two-thirds of speed, I normally do.
11:50Dude.
11:50Put me a couple minutes late.
11:52We're going to crush this car next week.
11:54We are not.
11:54Let's drive it through that old QYK thing back there.
11:57That old big bus.
11:58Ugh.
11:58No way.
11:59Let's flip it over that.
12:00Look.
12:01Festa, you got to get a new car.
12:02The guy's telling you it's unsafe for the road.
12:06No, he said it's not unsafe.
12:07It's just not safe.
12:09What the hell does that mean?
12:10MJ, let's do that old radio thing where they put a car in the front and they give the listeners
12:15a sledgehammer and just let them beat the crap.
12:19Terrible idea.
12:19All right.
12:20We got sledgehammers.
12:21No.
12:21What is the value of your car?
12:23How much is your car worth?
12:25A 2004 Lincoln Town car.
12:27Less than that bill.
12:28I mean, okay, so yeah, I was thinking like $2,500 or $3,000.
12:33Yes.
12:33And the bill is $32.
12:35The repair bill is $3,200.
12:37$3,278.60 to be exact.
12:41Yes.
12:41And then the guy said to you, right, that I might find more stuff once we have it taken
12:46apart.
12:46And that's what he said.
12:47That's what I pointed out.
12:47Because once we start taking this off and that off, there's probably-
12:50That's setting up more than a couple grand.
12:51Yeah.
12:51So he's like, there may be several thousand dollars in repairs that we can't itemize right
12:56now.
12:57All right.
12:57So Fester's got a jalopy that shouldn't be on the road.
13:00Allison's taking cars away for hours.
13:02The Tesla dealership thinks that she's stolen it.
13:05They do have an app, by the way.
13:06Someone just texted and said they do have an app.
13:08So they probably knew where you were, Allison.
13:10Yeah, they knew where she was the whole time.
13:11They're watching her on the computer.
13:13Beep, beep.
13:14Why is she in the school pickup line?
13:16Beep, beep, beep.
13:16This says she's in Savannah, Georgia.
13:18Yeah.
13:19Right?
13:19So you were asking how long is too long.
13:21We have a former used car salesman.
13:23Oh, okay.
13:24Oh, I love this.
13:25Yeah, so he knows.
13:26How long is too long for a test drive?
13:28His name's Chris.
13:29Hey, Chris, you're on the MJ Morning Show on Q105.
13:32Hi.
13:33Hey, how's it going?
13:34Doing fine.
13:35Go ahead.
13:37So about 15, 16 years ago, I actually, I had my own used car dealership.
13:44So I had my used car license, and this was out in the state of Utah.
13:48And so there, there were specific laws, and it was actually 72 hours before you could report
13:56a car on a test drive stolen.
13:59Wait a minute.
13:59Well, hold on.
14:00So somebody could go out on a test drive, take the car for three days?
14:08Technically, yes.
14:11Take your time.
14:12And when you sign, you would actually have to sign.
14:14Now, and it's not even that unusual.
14:16I mean, back then, GM, they even had advertisements.
14:20They'd do their 24-hour test drive.
14:22Yeah, remember that?
14:23You could take it home overnight.
14:24Oh, that's when they used the meatloaf song.
14:26They used that song, Let Me Sleep On It.
14:28Yeah.
14:29I'll give you an answer in the morning.
14:30They used that meatloaf song for the GM overnight test drive or something.
14:34Let me sleep on it.
14:35There you go.
14:36Baby, baby, let me sleep on it.
14:39That's right.
14:40I'll give you an answer in the morning.
14:41All right, go ahead.
14:42I'm sorry, Chris.
14:43No, and so it's not that unusual.
14:47And back in the day, we used to do it more often than not because our insurance company,
14:51they would be the ones that dictated most of the dealerships, and that was just kind
14:56of the standard amount of time.
14:59Now, most people only wanted to take it for a 15-minute drive, but technically, they could
15:04take it longer.
15:05I mean, there was a mileage limitation, though.
15:08It would stay in there less than 250 miles.
15:11Yeah, I could easily drive less than 250 miles in two days.
15:15That's fine.
15:15I'll keep a car for a couple days.
15:17That was in Utah.
15:18Now, if you repair and fester, I'll do that for half.
15:22Bring it to my shop, half.
15:23Okay, listen.
15:24Everybody knows my cell number.
15:25Just send me a text.
15:26I'm shopping the...
15:27I paid the guy for the estimate.
15:29I paid him for his hour of shop time for the estimate, so I'm even with him.
15:32I'm going to shop it around a little bit.
15:34Oh, man.
15:34All right, Chris.
15:35Thanks for the call.
15:36All right.
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