00:00And Fester just brings up to us, well, you know, he had a little issue, and this is where?
00:07I didn't get pinched, but I got a lot of side-eye.
00:10You got close, and you got some side-eye.
00:12And this woman was arrested in Ocala, and she claimed that the manager called the cops on her
00:19because the manager was just jealous because her body was so hot.
00:23Then it turns out she was intoxicated, she was arrested, and then Fester shares this.
00:28All right, one of our favorite hotels for, like, a kind of a staycation is the Omni Hotel at Champions Gate.
00:33Yeah.
00:34Kind of, like, almost all the way to Orlando.
00:35You sure you want to say that?
00:36Well, I don't care.
00:37I mean, I think the statute of limitations of pool crashing is expired.
00:41But if you want to go back?
00:42I mean, what, is Grady Judd going to pull up a charge from four years?
00:44He might, actually.
00:45He might, he might.
00:46He could do that.
00:47Will you trespass there?
00:48No, no, nothing like that.
00:49No authorities were called.
00:51So I was just talking to my daughter.
00:52I was like, hey, what do you want to do today?
00:53She goes, let's go to that hotel we went to that has the Lazy River.
00:56And I'm like, your daughter just tells you what to do.
00:59I'm like, that's a great idea.
01:00Let's go.
01:01This is the same daughter that told Fester last weekend, I want you to drive to the East Coast
01:06so I can see the sunrise.
01:08She's, like, nine years old.
01:09How old is she now?
01:10Hadley's nine years old.
01:11And Bucky's.
01:12Don't forget about Bucky's.
01:13Exactly.
01:13I'm about to tell the story.
01:14So Hadley is nine and makes Fester drive her to the East Coast to see the sunrise in the
01:20East and then go to Bucky's, the new 100-pump gas station with 38,000 varieties of beef jerky.
01:27And we had an awesome day.
01:29So you guys just, your daughter says, let's go to the Lazy River at this hotel where you're
01:33not even staying?
01:34So that kind of made sense to me to let's go.
01:38I knew I wasn't ready.
01:39We weren't going to spend the night or anything.
01:40So I was like, honey, we're going to go.
01:42We're going to look like we belong there.
01:43We're going to walk straight out to the pool.
01:45And we did.
01:46We had our bathing suit on.
01:50You're teaching her how to be a grifter, man.
01:53So we get to, like, the pool's, like, caged off.
01:57It has, like, a big fence around it.
01:58Have you ever been to the Omni at Champions?
02:00It's really nice.
02:01No, I haven't been to the Omni at Champions Gate.
02:03Too close to Orlando for me.
02:05Why would I be at the Omni at Champions Gate?
02:07Okay, listen.
02:08Tell me why.
02:08That's a lovely area right off I-4.
02:10When my kids were young, we would stay sometimes at one of the Disney resorts, even though we were just an hour and change down the road.
02:17But when the kids were young, you know, you stay at the, you know, one of the nice hotels.
02:22The Polynesian, where Fesher works part-time.
02:24Okay.
02:25The Grand Floridian, you know, where you do the character breakfast.
02:29We stayed at Universal in the past, so you could get the early, you know, when you stay in one of the hotels.
02:34The early entry.
02:34They have the early entry.
02:35Yeah, so we've done that.
02:36But, no, I haven't stayed at some hotel at Champions Gate.
02:39Super nice place.
02:41And I think one of the finest lazy rivers in the state of Florida.
02:43Anyway.
02:44The only restaurant around there is Hooters.
02:46Okay.
02:46And now they have a Miller's Ale house.
02:48Shut up.
02:49Okay, I love that place, too.
02:50Got some fine dining at Champions Gate, folks.
02:53All right, so we go there.
02:54We get to the little, like, uh...
02:55Are they Michelin-starred facilities, by the way?
02:58I think they're Yokohama-star.
02:59Michelin tires.
03:00Okay, so we go there.
03:01We get to the little towel hut, you know, so we get to the...
03:04And the guy, he's probably, like, 16 years old.
03:05He's like, uh, sir, you have your room key?
03:08And I'm like, oh, damn it.
03:11They're on to folks like you.
03:12Yeah.
03:13So you try...
03:14So what was the encounter where...
03:17What was the encounter where he asked you for the room key?
03:20At the towel hut.
03:21So what, you tried to take their towels as well?
03:24You have to get past the towel guy to get into the pool.
03:26Okay.
03:27This is a pretty fancy schmancy hotel.
03:29I get it.
03:29I just pulled up these pictures.
03:31This is a nice Lazy River.
03:32That Lazy River at Champions Gate at the Omni is no joke.
03:35It's really cool.
03:35It's worth breaking into.
03:38It's worth faking your guest status to take the kids to the Champions Gate Lazy River.
03:44Hey, who needs to pay for Adventure Island?
03:46Just go to the Champions Gate Lazy River and pretend you're a guest.
03:50It doesn't have a wave pool or anything.
03:52Oh, my God.
03:53All right.
03:53But it's a really nice Lazy River.
03:54So what happens?
03:54The guy confronts you.
03:55He's like, oh, it's your room key, sir.
03:58And I'm like, oh, damn it.
03:59I must have left it upstairs.
04:00You know, my wife's still upstairs.
04:02We just kind of ran out to come down to the pool for a couple minutes.
04:04So you don't have the room key?
04:05Then he asks you what?
04:06He goes, oh, what's your room number?
04:08And the guy got me.
04:10And the only number I could think of was 666.
04:16Come on.
04:17Really?
04:18And the guy writes it down on his clipboard.
04:20My room is 666.
04:22It's like, yeah.
04:23I'm registered under the name Beelzebub.
04:25He looks up at me and goes, 666?
04:28And the guest name?
04:29Satan.
04:31He gets your psyche.
04:32He says, sorry, sorry, sir.
04:35Your room number, not your weight.
04:38You're the absolute worst.
04:42Here's your three towels, sir.
04:43And then you were in?
04:44We were in.
04:45Oh, my God.
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