- 1 year ago
MJTV: Fester's Kid Did WHAT at a Hotel Pool?
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00:00One lady from across the pool, hey, hey, get your kid, hey, your kid.
00:07Fester and the pool story.
00:12Fester, this happened during Christmas break.
00:15Was this one of these deals where you guys just show up at a nice resort or hotel and you just like sneak in and pilfer pool usage?
00:22No, no, no, this wasn't that case.
00:26It wasn't a lazy river.
00:27All right, because you've been known to go to, like, what's the place near Orlando that you go to?
00:31Well, my favorite one isn't quite in Orlando.
00:33It's in Champions Gate, the Omni Hotel.
00:35You guys just pull into the parking lot and walk in like you own the place.
00:38Look like you belong.
00:40Walk in with pool noodles.
00:42Hey, everybody.
00:45Throw the guy the keys, don't put it in a good spot.
00:49And you walk right in.
00:50Froggy's like a freeloader at Champions Gate.
00:53Fester.
00:54Fester.
00:54Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:55Fester is a freeloader.
00:56So, what's the new pool story?
00:59I know a little bit.
01:00I just don't know the finale.
01:01Tell us what happened.
01:02All right, so a buddy of mine calls me and says, hey, I'm going to be in Orlando for a couple of days.
01:05Maybe you and the family come by.
01:06We'll get together, have a couple of days together, have some fun.
01:08I was like, that sounds like a great idea.
01:10He checks into a, he tells me what hotel he's at, and I get the same hotel.
01:14It's not, it wasn't the greatest hotel in the world.
01:17And this is, this is.
01:18It was a hotel in Orlando.
01:20Off of International, off of I Drive?
01:22Yeah, but in the Lake Buena Vista area.
01:25Was it the Buena Inn?
01:27No.
01:28Hang on, but that's not Orlando.
01:29If it's Lake Buena Vista, it's Lake Buena Vista.
01:31Okay, listen.
01:32It's right around there.
01:33Anything that's not in Polk County is Orlando.
01:36All right.
01:36Okay?
01:36Is it Kissimmee?
01:37Orlando starts at, at, at Champions Gate and ends at the, yeah, Daytona.
01:43Okay?
01:43That's Orlando.
01:43Okay.
01:44Seriously.
01:45All right, Mr. Geography.
01:46All right.
01:46So, we go.
01:47Mr. Triptych.
01:48We go, it's outside of Disney Springs.
01:50We're at the, the very fancy Holiday Inn Resort.
01:55Okay?
01:55And my, my buddy picked it.
01:56My friend Frank, he picked the, the hotel and we just got the same.
01:59I've never heard, who the hell's Frank?
02:00I've never heard of Frank.
02:01Frank's an old high school friend and he's like, I'm coming to town for a couple of days.
02:04Why is this the first time I've ever heard, I've worked with you since 1996 and this is
02:07the first time I've heard of Frank.
02:09I've never heard of Frank.
02:10I've never heard of Frank.
02:11All right.
02:11So, Frank's like my best friend from high school.
02:13What?
02:14Yes.
02:14From high school.
02:15We didn't go to high school together.
02:16Did we, Froggy?
02:16Okay.
02:17Fine.
02:17You're my best friend from a morning show.
02:19I'll accept that.
02:20Yes.
02:20What?
02:21Yeah.
02:21Sorry, Rox.
02:22I got bad news for you.
02:23You're second.
02:24MJ's third.
02:26All right.
02:27That's great.
02:28So, Frank says, hey, listen, he and his family came.
02:30They, as he, he's like, we checked into a hotel.
02:31We're going to meet the Holiday Inn Resort.
02:33Not the Holiday Inn Express.
02:34Holiday Inn Resort.
02:35Okay.
02:36Big difference?
02:36No free breakfast.
02:37I was a little pissed.
02:38Oh.
02:39Well, COVID, I don't think they do it anymore.
02:40They give out like a grab bags.
02:42Does the Holiday Inn hit you with that bogus resort charge?
02:45$22 a day resort fee.
02:48What a crap fest that is.
02:50What does that mean?
02:51What do you get?
02:51I don't know.
02:52The resort fee.
02:53You know, there are places where we've made a reservation and there was like not an indication
02:58of a resort fee.
02:59You go to check in and they're like, okay, then we have the $35 a day resort fee.
03:04I'm like, what?
03:06Yes, sir.
03:06It's the resort fee.
03:07I'm like, that's for your pool towels.
03:10And I'm like, I'm not using your pool.
03:12So on a couple of occasions, I said, all right, cancel my reservation.
03:15And you walk away and they're like, oh, sir, I can waive the resort fee.
03:20So you might want to try that.
03:21If they tried to nail you with that stupid resort fee.
03:25But then you have to not actually use their pool.
03:28No, they don't know.
03:29They have no idea.
03:30But I'm not using their pool.
03:33Yeah, the resort fee is just another revenue generator.
03:37It's just a way to just grab into your wallet.
03:40And, you know, and things are getting even rougher now because with COVID, you know, hotels
03:44have had a rough time.
03:44So they're looking for every single.
03:46There are some hotels that charge you to ride the elevator up.
03:49So we.
03:50No, I'm curious.
03:51I'm curious.
03:52We didn't have the pay for your elevator, but we had no room service.
03:56Yeah.
03:57Oh, yeah.
03:57That's another thing.
03:58During the three days we were there.
03:59Yeah, it's like if you need anything, let us know because due to COVID, we're not doing
04:02regular room service.
04:03All right.
04:04So.
04:04Oh, I got to tell you how my wife got room service.
04:06That's a different story.
04:07All right.
04:07So let's talk about the pool.
04:09All right.
04:10So we're in the pool.
04:11It's just a.
04:12It's an average to below average hotel pool.
04:14It's nothing fantastic.
04:16It's not like the lazy river that you guys steal.
04:18It is no lazy river that I steal.
04:19What happened when you displaced half the water in the pool?
04:22So I get in the pool and I displace half the water in the pool.
04:25Exactly right, Froggy.
04:26Thank you for bringing up simple physics.
04:28Cannonball.
04:30Yeah.
04:30For Fester, it'd be like, you know, I just imagine Fester jumping in the pool.
04:35Have you ever seen those video reenactments of the asteroid hitting the planet that made
04:40the dinosaurs extinct off the Yucatan?
04:44Okay.
04:45I don't appreciate that.
04:46It was actually more like the launching of a ship.
04:49Yeah.
04:50When they drop it in sideways.
04:52It was like that.
04:52So I floated the entire first floor when I jumped in the pool and I'm with my son.
04:58Okay.
04:58You're with your son.
04:59Swimming pool this holiday in near Orlando.
05:02Yeah.
05:02Where it's.
05:03And is this just before Christmas or?
05:06It was after Christmas.
05:07After Christmas.
05:07It was New Year's.
05:08It was actually the last couple days before the show.
05:11I mean, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
05:12What happened?
05:14We're in the pool.
05:14He's five years old.
05:15Hudson, my son.
05:16We're playing and we're throwing a ball back and forth.
05:19It's a very nice time.
05:21Having some nice father-son time.
05:23Yep.
05:24And he says, hey, pst, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy.
05:29What does he have, a British accent?
05:31He has a pig.
05:32My son talks like a caveman.
05:34He's like, daddy, I got to go pee-pee.
05:37I got to go pee-pee.
05:38And, you know, usually if we're at a restaurant or if we're home or something, let's go.
05:42We make a whole production of it.
05:43We walk to the bathroom.
05:44Oh, no.
05:44And I was like, hey, buddy, that's the best thing about pools.
05:48Is that a ride?
05:49It's like, go in the pool.
05:51And he gives me a look.
05:52Wait, wait, wait, wait.
05:53You're teaching your son that.
05:54I teach her.
05:54Oh, hold on.
05:55Listen.
05:55I've never been in a pool.
05:58But I haven't.
05:59That's my, every time.
06:01That you didn't.
06:01You don't?
06:02There are literally signs that say, don't pee in this pool.
06:05Yeah.
06:05Yeah, I've seen the sign at people's houses that say something like, we don't swim in your
06:11toilet.
06:12Yeah.
06:12Don't pee in our pool.
06:15Have you, have you seen that?
06:16Yeah, it's, yeah.
06:17Don't, if we don't swim in your, I thought it was really clever when I was a kid.
06:20I was like, that's amazing.
06:21I've never been in a pool I haven't peed in.
06:24There's a chemical that turns it blue, by the way.
06:26No, that's not, that's not true.
06:27Yeah, there is.
06:28That is not true.
06:28That is, that is an urban legend.
06:30Yes, okay.
06:30I have a question.
06:32No, that's an, wait a minute.
06:33That's an urban, it is not.
06:35I saw it happen in, where was I?
06:37No, that is an urban.
06:38Cocoa Beach.
06:38That is an urban legend.
06:40You said that guy had a urinary tract infection.
06:43That's not real froggy.
06:44No, seriously, that's an urban legend.
06:46I think it turns blue.
06:47Well, that, when you were, when I was a kid, that used to be a thing.
06:49Oh yeah, don't pee in the pool, because they have a chemical that if you pee, it like causes
06:53this big, like red cloud, whatever, around you in the pool.
06:58Yeah, Rox.
06:58Well, what I heard was the more it stinks like chlorine, like really heavily chlorinated,
07:03that means more people are peeing in the pool.
07:05Oh.
07:06Is that true?
07:07Gross.
07:08I don't, I didn't get down to the chlorine composition of the water.
07:11However, there was a lot of whiz in it, and most of it was from me.
07:14Your five-year-old son Hudson says, Daddy, I gotta pee pee.
07:18Right.
07:18And I was like, hey buddy, just go in the pool.
07:20Don't even worry about it.
07:22And his, you could see his eyes, and he's processing it.
07:25Did you say this, like, quietly?
07:27Like, it's not just, just go in the pool.
07:29You didn't say it out loud.
07:30No.
07:30No one could hear you.
07:31Okay, I did it.
07:31Hey, don't worry about it.
07:33Just go where you are.
07:34No, no.
07:35Did you warn him about the after effects of that?
07:37He's close to me.
07:38I'm like, hey, he's like, Daddy, I gotta go pee pee.
07:40And I was like, don't worry.
07:41Just, just go now.
07:42Just pee pee in the pool.
07:43Go ahead.
07:44Just right now.
07:45Let it go.
07:46Oh, no.
07:46And he's giving me this look of processing it, and he's like, he's not getting it, and
07:50he's confused.
07:51And I would never tell him, just go pee pee in the living room, you know?
07:54I mean, this is so weird.
07:56Go pee pee in the stove in the kitchen.
07:58And he swims off, and I guess I was a couple of feet away, and I look back, and we separated
08:03by about 10 feet.
08:05He gets out of the pool.
08:07Oh, no.
08:08And the hotel pools, not residential pools, but hotel pools, have that water lip, you
08:13know, like that white water lip where, like, the splash over.
08:16Yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:17He stands on the water lip, and he drops his pants little kid style.
08:24Little kids, when they go tinkle, he drops his shorts down to his ankles.
08:28Whole ass out and everything.
08:30Oh, my God.
08:31I can't get my kids to stop doing that.
08:32I mean, his whole butt's out.
08:34He didn't realize that you saying pee in the pool was to stand in place underwater and
08:39just let it go?
08:40He peed into the pool.
08:42He gets out of the pool like he's standing in front of a toilet?
08:44Like he's standing right there, and he uses the pool as a commode.
08:49And just whizzes right into the pool.
08:52And this kid.
08:54What are the people around here?
08:55I don't know what he drank.
08:58He had to go.
08:59It seemed like a five-year-old peeing in eternity.
09:03Oh, my God.
09:04It's like one of those statues of a kid just continuously peeing.
09:07What were people doing?
09:09Screaming and pointing.
09:11One lady from across the pool.
09:12Hey, hey, get your kid.
09:14Hey, your kid.
09:16There's 50 kids in the pool.
09:18There's a lot of kids.
09:19I mean, there's a lot of kids.
09:20There's a lot of kids.
09:21You should have acted like it wasn't your kid.
09:22Was there a lifeguard on duty?
09:24No, no lifeguard on duty.
09:25Nothing like that.
09:26Nobody had the whistle.
09:27All right, so they didn't clear the pool out like the floating baby Ruth in Caddyshack?
09:34Spalding, don't touch it.
09:36Spalding, don't touch it.
09:37Okay, so they didn't need all that because it cleared out itself.
09:42Suddenly from there being, you know, 60 people in this large hotel pool.
09:46So now you've got an Olympic-sized hotel pool to yourself.
09:50And there's just me floating around in it.
09:52Like there's no big deal.
09:53I'm going to sew his ass hanging out.
09:54Oh, my.
09:54Like, what's going on, everybody?
09:56Were you able to stop him midstream or the whole thing?
10:01He finished?
10:01I'm not going to stop him.
10:03What are you going to do?
10:05Hey, hold on, buddy.
10:06Stop.
10:06He's not stopping.
10:07He's not holding it.
10:08He's not going to.
10:08It burns if you stop.
10:09Yeah, seriously.
10:10I can't help you for you.
10:12He hoses.
10:12I think that's another problem for us.
10:14Well, listen, you know.
10:16He hoses in the hotel.
10:17It's better that he doesn't do it in the pool, man.
10:19That's not good for you.
10:20You're getting chemicals in your ween.
10:21No, you aren't.
10:22Everything's going out.
10:23I don't think it goes on.
10:24That's not true.
10:25Okay, you've never.
10:26So what was the conversation like afterwards, son?
10:30Good job.
10:30I didn't meet.
10:32Fester says, good job, son.
10:34That's my boy.
10:35Okay, so hold on.
10:36There is a small degree of comedic pride.
10:41I mean, you're not proud of this act in general.
10:43That's pretty damn funny.
10:44But just being so funny, I was a little, I was like, all right, that's a pretty funny kid.
10:48Two questions.
10:49Where was your wife, Allison, and where was your daughter, Hadley?
10:52They were in the room together.
10:53They were in the room, and then Hudson wanted to go to the pool, so we went out alone.
10:58The two of us went.
10:59We'll be back in about an hour.
11:01He hosed and hosed and hosed the pool.
11:06You couldn't stop him.
11:07Couldn't stop him.
11:08And it was a whole butt's out.
11:10Other kids are screaming.
11:12Other kids are getting their parents.
11:13Parents are yelling at me from across the pool.
11:16Hey, whose kid is that?
11:18Get your kid!
11:19The pool gets cleared.
11:20Everyone's out of the pool.
11:21Yes.
11:22And no one went back in?
11:23I mean, it took like, honestly, it took like 10 minutes.
11:26And new people had to come, and other people just got up and left.
11:30Oh, but like the new people didn't know that your son just dropped a quart of pee in the pool.
11:35Right.
11:35They come in, and I wasn't telling him.
11:37Like, hey, welcome to the Holiday Inn Resort pool.
11:38You know, my kid just owes this whole thing.
11:40I didn't tell him that.
11:42You know, other parents were like.
11:43Oh, my God.
11:44Other parents were looking for reasons to go.
11:46Oh, you ever like try to get your kid to leave?
11:48All right.
11:48So wrapping this up, what was the conversation afterwards?
11:53Son, I didn't mean get out of the pool, drop your pants, and whiz in it like it was a urinal.
11:58You just do it underwater.
11:59That was the exact conversation.
12:01He comes back.
12:02He sits down like on the first step.
12:04Oh, my God.
12:04He doesn't know he did anything wrong.
12:06He doesn't know why there was a commotion.
12:07He did exactly.
12:08For the first time ever, he listened to exactly what I asked him to do, pee in the pool.
12:14I'm like, hey, buddy.
12:15Hey, when I said that, just stay in the water next time.
12:17Just let it go.
12:19Oh, my God.
12:20That's pretty funny.
12:21And that was even more strange to him, the idea of sitting in the water and just letting it run.
12:25And the kid just, oh, man.
12:27And the kid just, oh, man.
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