Lisa's Street Witch

Beasley Digital

While the show is talking about weird encounters they had as children, Lisa recalls a weird witch lady who lived in her neighborhood growing up!

Transcript

00:00earlier this week too we had an email from a guy who was uh emailed us with a predator story

00:08that wasn't dark-sided okay so uh you weren't here i think chuck you were off that day but

00:13the story went like this the guy was at a little caesar's he wanted to pick up a pizza but he had

00:17to wait a few minutes on it this little kid comes in to buy a pizza he's a dollar 75 short

00:22and the guy said oh don't worry buddy i'll cover it for you and he pays the rest of it so this kid

00:27can get his pizza right he goes to give him a low five because he helped him out and the kid freaked

00:33out stared at him like he was oh yeah no don't touch you can't touch stranger danger stranger danger the

00:38guy felt so awkward that he ran out of the little caesar's without his pizza and just took off in

00:44his truck and then he realized oh my god it made me look like such a perv yeah when he was just trying

00:48to help the kid out well i know myself like uh it's the reason i quit coaching soccer um i was coaching

00:56soccer and it was my job to be in charge of the kids who were playing defense now this was i think

01:03about six year old seven six year old soccer so i'm standing there and then i turn to my left and

01:10the one little guy has his pants around his ankles and he's peeing oh no he's peeing on the field with

01:20his all of his stuff off everyone is watching the play so i'm like what do i do right now

01:29because i'm not getting close to him yeah right but i have to try and get him

01:34to pull his pants up and i'm like gonna this whole time i'm like chuck the freak naked child

01:42you know every parent is recording yeah and i was just like put your put your pants put your pants

02:00up you know like not looking i can't look at them i can't do anything you had to figure out really

02:05quickly what to do and that was it so like just he finished peeing and then he did pulled up his

02:11stuff and then i was like this is it i can't i can't coach little kids anymore because they'll do

02:18anything and then it's chuck the freak naked child peeing

02:25in other news this morning oh my god i think it would have been worse though if i would have done the

02:31little caesar's guy and just ran off the field and just jumped in my car and drove away with the

02:37kid with no pants on no no yeah you do look guilty you do it makes you look guilty when i was a little

02:43kid i was always like okay so i'm gonna walk to school there's gonna be about 35 different vans with

02:49people in it they're gonna try to offer me candy and i'm a chubby little kid boy do i love candy but i've

02:56gotta say no listen i'll take your candy but i'm not coming anywhere near your van

03:02throw it at me you're the second van i've seen today

03:07throw that candy at me i trust it just throw it right there

03:12stranger danger i'm gonna scream it yeah you better give me double the candy or i'm gonna

03:17scream it real loud throw the candy i'll be right there same time you stay in that van

03:22you stay in that van yeah but i did i thought there was going to be just the walk to school

03:28was going to be riddled with vans oh yeah yeah that's what you did think yeah i thought that too

03:32did you ever have a no no no nothing i had one in my life i remember and i think i was like

03:39eight or nine and i was waiting outside our apartment building for my uncle to pick me up

03:45and this dude did come by and asked me to help him find some puppies he was missing his

03:50jesus that's creepy yep because you would have been

03:54taken apples and cinnamon missing puppies you say

03:59there's puppies on the loose what sure i'll help her yeah that's just scary yeah it is scary man

04:06that's like you could have been there but no day forever yeah no no dave there was that

04:11witch that lived on my street when i was really young oh yeah witch yeah and she had like strings

04:16around her front yard all these strings and did like i don't know if she did rituals or what

04:21and she'd always ask like the kids and me you know hey uh do you want to come in for soup

04:27now that's like now that they think about it as an adult that's a horrible way to try and get a

04:31child in with oh yes no like come up with something better than your weird witch soup yeah i don't

04:36want any weird witch suit no kids like soup who wants like some kind of really odd like children's

04:43story like a fairy tale like a fairy tale yes my mom it's not my imagination hans and lisa yeah

04:53yeah and i was growing up there's a witch on my street

04:57strings and witch suits i must have told you guys before about the witch well she says it like

05:01everybody has a witch on their street you know like you know the neighborhood witch that crazy

05:05neighborhood witch you know the one with the strings you guys you guys have to have something

05:11i just picture like a little lisa like walking to school and she's like come in for soup

05:19not today which i don't even like soup

05:23who gets kids with soup gross it won't be until much later in life where i love soup

05:29oh yeah your yard strings look extra weird today

05:34what kind of ritual is that

05:38hell you dropped your eye of newt

05:41it was a weird street yeah it really was i'm glad we moved by the time i was seven we got out of

05:47there i don't like a weird witch soup which lady i swear i must have told you guys before about the

05:55witch on my street i did i swear i told you

06:00i have no memory

06:02once i told you

06:03the witch is trying to get us with soup again yeah she set up all these strings outside

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