Lisa's Pampered Pets

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about an angry old man defending his lawn in Florida from dog poop which leads to a discussion of Lisa's pets and how they are very proper.

Transcript

00:00so this senior this old guy

00:07armed with a water gun

00:10filled with his own urine

00:12it's piss

00:13it's mine

00:15it's my juice

00:18oh god

00:19don't say that

00:21my juice

00:22my sauce

00:23he squirted a woman several times

00:29as she was walking her dog in front of his place

00:33oh so is he just

00:34mad about the dog pooping on his lawn

00:37that's exactly what it is

00:38never heard of a revenge tactic like that

00:40nope oh your dog's gonna poop in my lawn

00:42well I'm gonna pee all over you

00:44only an old guy comes up with this

00:46only an old guy that looks like this

00:48yeah it's a special kind of an old guy

00:50to be honest the woman's kind of lucky

00:52he didn't shoot her dead

00:54yeah I'll take your hot piss on me rather than a bullet

00:56because guys just like this have shot

00:59people

00:59for lesser things

01:01music too loud

01:02they've shot a whole group of people

01:04still don't want to walk by someone's house

01:06and have their pee on you

01:07you really don't

01:08shot on you

01:09I get it

01:09it's not ideal

01:10I would at least in her cute little jacket

01:12walking Molly

01:13never be the same

01:14Molly wants

01:14no

01:15Molly doesn't deserve that

01:17no no

01:18she's proper you know

01:19she's a proper

01:20this is me when I'm a senior citizen

01:22I know that's what I was thinking

01:24except I'm doing more primal with it

01:26I'm not squirting them with my urine

01:27I'm throwing my feces at you

01:29I was gonna say

01:29poop slingshot

01:31yeah

01:31a poopapult

01:32I'm gonna build a poop catapult

01:35or I'm just gonna go do it the old fashioned way

01:37and squat right down your porch

01:38yeah the scantapult

01:39the scantapult

01:40James has a scantapult

01:41everybody run

01:42run

01:43man a scantapult

01:44he's a scantapult

01:45scantapult loaded

01:46now

01:47launch

01:48fire

01:48the trebuch

01:49even though Molly's really proper

01:51one time I took her for a walk

01:52and she pooped in the middle of the street

01:54you're like that is not ladylike

01:56even a lady has her moment Lisa

01:58because she was trying to tell me

01:59I don't want to go for a walk

02:00she's like I'm just gonna get this over with

02:02right here

02:03we're gonna end this right now

02:05this lady duff protest

02:06what are you doing

02:09is this what you wanted

02:10is this what you wanted

02:11now take me back to my room

02:12pamper me

02:15sometimes she'll just stop

02:16and sit

02:17sit there

02:18and other times she just poops in the streets

02:20I don't know what came over me

02:25I just was feeling like such an animal

02:28I am sorry

02:32I am quite embarrassed

02:34of my behavior

02:34would you mind straightening my ball

02:37I apologize for embarrassing you like it

02:41I guess in the future

02:43you should know

02:44not to take me out

02:45in this sweltering

02:46I tried to show you with my eyes

02:49because I don't so much talk

02:50in your language

02:51but you didn't get it

02:53so then I had to do

02:54what I had to do

02:55she strikes me as one of those dogs

02:56you know there are those dogs

02:57that won't poop

02:58while you're looking at them

02:59I feel like if Lisa took Molly

03:08to like kind of a formal event

03:10and like Molly wasn't as dressed up

03:11as she wanted to be

03:12she'd be like

03:13I didn't even know it was formal wear

03:15you have got to take me home

03:18right now

03:19so I can have the proper

03:20change my bow

03:21this bow is more of a midday bow

03:25not so much an evening bow

03:27get me out of here

03:30like a common troll

03:31a common troll

03:36a right bitch

03:37it's true

03:41she'll poop right on the floor

03:43she gives

03:43just from looking at pictures

03:45she gives that impression

03:46she does

03:46she's super proper

03:47I feel like

03:49you know

03:50it's cause Lisa got Molly

03:51so it's one of those things

03:53like Molly had a life before

03:54and then she's got the post

03:56Lisa life

03:56I think

03:57like stuff changed for her

03:59I think it got kicked up a notch

03:59oh it got kicked up

04:00stuff changed for her

04:01got kicked up

04:02she's got used to the lifestyle

04:03oh she is

04:04very pampered

04:06do you have any

04:10gray poop on

04:11well yes I do

04:13this organic beef

04:15you're feeding me

04:15could use a little something

04:17yeah I think her life

04:18is switched

04:19changed yeah

04:20yeah oh for sure

04:21cause you do get her special food

04:24and yeah all you take care of

04:26more like Lou

04:26sleeps in a blanket

04:28you know

04:31my word

04:32these other cats

04:34are just crazy

04:35oh my god

04:37I have my own bed

04:38with my own covers

04:39I don't even think

04:40some of these cats

04:41have outdoor tents

04:42I have never seen

04:44another cat

04:44with an outdoor tent

04:45I have my own

04:46outdoor palace

04:47I don't believe

04:48they're living

04:49the right way

04:51I'll tell you

04:52all the animals

04:53could get them

04:54they're not protected

04:55in a tent

04:56the other day

04:57I sat in my tent

04:58and I watched

04:59a groundhog

05:00it was hilarious

05:02what an animal

05:03what a crazy creature

05:06such a mistake

05:07like when Lisa leaves

05:11they crank up

05:12the classical music

05:12and they sit in their chairs

05:14and they read their books

05:15until she returns

05:16Lou has a pipe

05:17yeah absolutely

05:19Molly's got a dressing gown on

05:21well James got him a tie

05:23oh yeah man

05:24they got Lou ready

05:25to go to work

05:25that's true

05:26he's a professional

05:27and whereas Jameson

05:29who also has a set of ties

05:30I feel like

05:31he's like

05:31get me out of this thing

05:32yeah

05:32you know

05:33he's like a little gangster

05:34who's forced to wear a tie

05:35right he's like

05:36I don't like this

05:36I'm from the streets

05:37I'm a golden noodles

05:39right out of

05:40I'm basically from hell

05:41he thinks he's a little golden dude

05:45from hell

05:45and then he wears his little tie

05:48and mock dress shirt

05:49yeah little bitties

05:50would get along with Molly

05:52I think

05:52they'd just like

05:53play glasses

05:53could you mind turning up the show pan

05:57because I do like this song

06:00I feel like the arrangement is very good

06:02Hershey would kick the door in

06:04he's a frat boy

06:05he's like

06:06he brought the keg

06:07oh my god

06:12I got six pizzas

06:13oh dear

06:14he eats all the food

06:16oh give me that food

06:17he's eating everything

06:18is he a dog or a pig

06:20I don't know

06:21my word

06:23cretin

06:25what are you ladies up to

06:29what do you think Hershey

06:30we're laying here pondering

06:33got any food

06:34of course we do Hershey

06:36you got any bones

06:37no

06:39Hershey we don't have

06:40you got any bull dicks

06:41he just asked us for bull dicks

06:45you guys don't eat those

06:46those are delicious

06:47bull dicks

06:47that's all I want to eat

06:48he's quite fascinating to watch

06:51I know you guys got bull dicks

06:53Lisa gave me some

06:56she didn't like them

06:57you are a hoot

06:58of course she didn't like them

07:01oh my goodness Lisa

07:02well I didn't like them

07:03I guess that's what it was

07:04I believe you might have given me

07:07I'm going to whisper this

07:08a bull dick

07:10the penis of a bull

07:12I hate to say this

07:15I don't want to be crazy about things

07:19yeah

07:19Hershey's got six of them in his mouth

07:21I like that bull dicky flavor

07:24he does

07:25he loves it

07:26trust me you'd want to be one of Lisa's pampered pets

07:29there is no question about that

07:30that's how to do it

07:31if you can do it

07:32if you can do it

07:33if you can do it

07:34if you can do it

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