Lotion Investigation

Beasley Digital

Last week Dave & Chuck the Freak launched an investigation into a shocking discovery Andy made while in the WRIF bathroom. After lots of finger pointing the culprit was found.

Transcript

00:00andy busted into my office yesterday and said dave you won't effing believe this

00:15i think it was a bit more graphic but yeah it was a lot more effing yeah there's a lot more

00:19stuff in there that i can't say yeah andy describe what happened after we got off the

00:29i know it's hard i know it's hard it is hard to talk about take yourself back i know it's hard

00:33to 10 30 yesterday morning well it was like any other day you know i um i had a very small window

00:40of time where i have to be a human and go poop i opened the stall door we're here for you man

00:50we're here for you you can get through this uh it was lotion with the cap off

00:55sitting atop the toilet paper dispenser someone left their jerkin lotion well in the bathroom here

01:04at work it was obviously in use okay it was obviously the cap off the cap is off and the cap

01:12mind you is full of the lotion juice we've got to find the jerker we do so it was around 10 30 right

01:22this was at yeah this was around 10 30 um okay i'm gonna reveal something here yeah that i don't

01:30normally talk about okay but i pooped yesterday it's a safe and i'm not like chuck i don't tell

01:35everyone but i much like you andy i safely say and go i went down the hallway i went to that bathroom

01:42yeah and i did use the big stall you did and at that time which i believe was around 8 30 yesterday

01:47morning there was no lotion there was no lotion there at 8 30 but i looked into this cream because

01:55i thought it was dave for sure that was the jerker you did so i said you really think i jerk off at

02:04work i said to myself that he was doing i had better do some research on this cream and get to the bot

02:11just i'm just doing due diligence i was like i know dave was in that bathroom i've got to either

02:17you know if it if it does not fit you must acquit i had to look up this lotion to see if it was a

02:26possible dave style lotion am i seriously on the hot seat right here you were on the hot seat

02:30i thought if you were doing anything you actually put it on your face if there was a few things that

02:36could have linked you to this okay that's all i'm saying now james you were saying yeah so literally

02:41once we met for today's show chuck sends me a text demanding i go check dave's lotion supply and see

02:49if any of the brands match yeah or if any of the descriptions match the type of lotion he had are

02:54you serious right yes i am yes he then sent me a text of the lotion that was in the bathroom yes

02:59to make sure it wasn't the same kind that you had and i had to google it to see that it's

03:04dollar store brand this is dollar store brand lotion now you'd think oh well that must instantly

03:10clear dave however dave's father-in-law consistently shops at the dollar store he doesn't buy me jerkin

03:19lotion you oh i almost swore you okay so so now is dave officially off of the list he's not off my list

03:30my hand to god i didn't jerk onto work i know i believe you guys it's tearing us apart it's

03:37paid for all of us once i saw dollar store lotion i was like dave's out well we did talk about

03:41checking the cameras well this is it and that is when he fessed up to the booth we were like we're

03:46gonna have sherry check the cameras and see who came in that's what we need to do we need to get

03:50sherry our kick-ass engineer to check the cameras but so we can the time frame is between like 8 30 and

03:5610 30 yes there's a two-hour window but here's the thing that opens it up to the rest of the

04:02building yes and of course yes and it should nine o'clock it should the rest of the building

04:06yeah comes in detective sherry our engineer is joining us on the riff line sherry hi good morning

04:12can we review footage from 8 30 a.m eastern standard time to 10 30 a.m eastern standard time

04:20yeah not to get too personal dave but you're you're pretty quick

04:23did you happen to notice did dave any have any lotion in his hand no he was just walking really

04:35really fast it was a fast shuffle and what time was that uh about 8 30 oh it was 8 30

04:43yeah i'm right on my timing i did not huh yeah already down the riff hall at 8 32 all right so

04:49sherry uh keep call back please if you spot anything yes oh i will keep reviewing the camera

04:54review the tape time questions here on the riff okay timmy timmy what's your question um my question

05:01is which one of you use the bathroom after dave because i don't think it was dave i don't believe

05:06it was chuck and i'm pointing the finger at mr james oh who's in the house if there's a fleshlight

05:15sitting by the toilet you got him james doesn't you don't use that bathroom do you not very often

05:20i usually i'll poop over here usually i can hear the lies in his voice

05:24i don't think it was james i think would be like yeah plus i drink it like a man i don't need

05:30lotion yeah exactly and also wait a second wait a second what we're forgetting a very important

05:37piece of the puzzle oh my god

05:43shalom now jason hold on yeah are you the jerkin jew hell no you do use that bathroom yeah you do

05:58i do use that bathroom i like it for the urinal

06:02you like the urinal i like it for the urinal okay yeah i don't like i don't like peeing into the

06:08the toilet i like the urinal i get it now i can't remember if i use the bathroom or not

06:13between 8 30 and 10 30 oh oh now there's a question mark i might have peed in there so

06:19if i'm in there on the camera well if we'll see if there's anything in your hands we'll see the

06:23time as you enter we'll see the time yeah we will we'll see unless someone has it in their pocket

06:27which would be smart all right well so he's not off the list for now you're off the hot seat but

06:34you're not off the jew hook yeah sherry thinks she found who it is oh my goodness great we can't

06:40reveal it though we can we can find out okay but she can tell us it's no one here sherry yes

06:47we've been waiting for this

06:52i'm not gonna say who it is because this is a friend of mine

06:57but they should have stayed upstairs where they belong

07:00they come downstairs to defile our bathroom yeah we should have known it was the upstairs people

07:11uh-huh it's always the upstairs people yep oh my gee well it's ruled out everyone in this room

07:18i knew we were cleaning god sherry on this sherry so you're convinced yeah they had it in their

07:24hand and then they put it in their pocket and went to the bathroom so i don't so you saw the lotion

07:28you saw the lotion you saw the lotion that's it that's that's it that's that's that i didn't know that

07:34that's it over i had no idea you actually saw it

07:38you saw the lotion you're a goddamn road boner on the way in

07:41case closed

07:42oh road boner case closed

07:44must have been listening to your show

07:45case closed

07:46yep

07:46oh case closed if you had the lotion and put it on the countertop

07:51god almighty

07:52oh boy

07:53we couldn't have done this without you sherry

07:54thank you sherry

07:55anytime

07:56sherry you get your butt down here and tell us who it is

07:58okay

07:58oh

08:00what

08:04i just look at james

08:06hold on

08:07look at james's sign

08:08oh

08:09all right we can't say we can't say we'll get fired if we say

08:16no yeah we can't say

08:17no we can't say

08:19sherry thank you so much for your hard work

08:20anytime

08:21this is like who

08:22my writing is bad

08:26my writing is bad

08:27she knows now

08:29now you got it

08:30i got it

08:31oh

08:32wow

08:33jerk gate 2016

08:36oh wow

08:36well it wasn't you guys

08:38it's nice that we tied it up

08:38and there's no loose ends

08:40no there's no

08:40we can't have loose ends hanging when it comes to

08:43lisa although you did

08:44i didn't think

08:44oh

08:45you're on the

08:46i did instantly

08:47i thought maybe

08:47i kept

08:48because i was going to leave no stone unturned

08:50until we found out what happened

08:53and now we know

08:54if you want to see the picture

08:55of andy's discovery

08:57it's at

08:58daveandchuckthefreak.com

08:59you

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