00:00It's so confronting when somebody has decided that they're going to die
00:04and they feel like they have nothing at all to live for.
00:12The things that I've learnt at Lifeline about connection and really listening
00:18and really being there, that's where the magic lies.
00:21Sometimes I feel frightened, sometimes I worry that I'm not going to have the right
00:32words, but I also know I don't have to have the right words, I only have to listen.
00:42We never know who we're going to get on the phone. One day I answered the phone to a very
00:47distressed woman who had decided that that day was going to be her last day of life.
00:55She had determined that she would end her life in a public place and she was worried about the
01:00person who would find her. So she'd rung to see if I could tell her what to write in the letter.
01:06You know, she said, do I write to whom it may concern or, you know, what do I say? And I
01:12explained to her that I wasn't going to be able to help her write the letter, that that was not,
01:16you know, something that I would do, but that we might talk about what had led to her decision.
01:22We spent about maybe 40 minutes just talking about her life, which had been full of really
01:30incredibly difficult things, but also some happy things. And along the way, I heard her say that
01:37she really loved cooking. And in particular, she really loved cooking lasagna. And so we started
01:44talking about that. And at the end of our call, we had swapped recipes. We both had agreed that
01:51we would make that recipe that night and that she would actually not take her life that day.
01:59Did she stay alive? Is she still alive? I don't know. I can never know. But in that 40 minutes,
02:05when you reach that point in a call, and you don't always, sometimes the decision is made,
02:11so there isn't a point in the call where you feel a change, but often there is.
02:16And when you can tap into that, then you have the opportunity to really talk
02:21and to let them really talk. And just to be listened to, to be heard, to say how you are
02:28feeling is awful. Some of these people have never had that. They've literally never had a shoulder
02:34to cry on or one that they trust. And they do trust us. We don't betray them. We are genuinely
02:41here for them. And we can't fix it, but we can hear them. If you can have the connection, and
02:48that's what we are trained to do, there is sometimes a possibility that you can help somebody to find
02:54some hope to live for another day. And that's why I do this work.
03:08Yeah, so great lasagna recipe. Still use it. And I hope she's still alive to be cooking as well.
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