00:00 I'm Chinese and my partner is a black guy.
00:04 My culture doesn't approve of my man.
00:07 People will take out their phones to record, it's just how it is.
00:09 Someone called him "guerrilla".
00:11 Or like, how much can you buy him for?
00:13 A lot of it is just looks and stares.
00:15 Yeah, just stares on the street.
00:17 As a black guy, it's not so common to be here in the first place,
00:19 so I'll get stares and like phase it out.
00:21 You don't always notice it,
00:23 but it's more apparent when we're walking together.
00:26 You'll notice people, like as we're walking past,
00:27 their faces will just follow you as they go.
00:30 I've been living in Shanghai for the last five years.
00:32 We matched each other on Tinder.
00:35 And after several talks, I just think,
00:39 he's interesting, funny and gentle.
00:42 So I decided to meet him.
00:45 It went pretty well.
00:46 The language difference made it a bit difficult.
00:48 It flowed pretty smoothly.
00:49 She has a really good sense of humour and she's stunning.
00:52 So it worked out.
00:54 Daily life?
00:55 Speaking is very much direct.
00:57 Like usually, we use like what they call it, "fluff" when we're talking.
01:02 So if you think someone's gained weight, you'd be like,
01:04 "Oh, I don't know if your clothes fit you as well.
01:06 Maybe you should try this."
01:08 Like you say the things in a very roundabout manner.
01:11 Here, they just tell you you're fat.
01:13 The social media?
01:15 A lot of main comments.
01:16 Our most recent comment.
01:18 "You know she loves that b****."
01:20 "This is beyond my understanding."
01:22 "It has mud shark vibes."
01:24 She called you a mud shark.
01:25 We laugh about the ones that are like funny.
01:28 I still remember that black girl called me skinny people.
01:32 She said, "I'm in a skinny people face."
01:35 Freaking haters.
01:37 Some people say like, "Oh, if you're with a white person,
01:40 maybe you'll stay together.
01:41 If it's a black one, he's going to go somewhere."
01:44 Stuff like this.
01:45 They think I'm shameful and I'm a leftover woman
01:50 because no Chinese guy choose me.
01:53 So I choose a black guy.
01:55 When I read these messages, most of the time,
01:59 I'm curious.
02:00 I'm going to go to your profile.
02:01 I'm going to see if you're ugly or not.
02:03 There's nothing wrong with living in a basement.
02:06 Just relax.
02:07 Go out, do something positive.
02:09 They're just unhappy.
02:11 It doesn't affect our relationship.
02:13 If I didn't meet her, do you think you would have a chance
02:15 to meet her?
02:16 I'm not taking any of this.
02:17 No chance.
02:18 Yeah.
02:18 It's not like we're stealing something from someone.
02:20 It's just...
02:21 Even if I'm single forever.
02:23 No chance.
02:25 But there are positive ones.
02:26 There are many people who think that our relationship
02:29 looks great.
02:30 We have an authentic connection.
02:32 Yeah, I just think we are a lovely couple.
02:35 We are of a special vibe that a lot of couples
02:39 don't have this kind of vibe.
02:41 You're one half, he is the other half.
02:42 That's pretty cute.
02:43 I remember there's some comment or post like,
02:47 "My dad will be shameful of me
02:50 because I dated a black guy."
02:53 I didn't tell my dad because I was born in a traditional
02:58 Chinese family and my dad is very traditional.
03:01 So it's difficult for me now to tell my dad about it.
03:05 Maybe in the future, I will choose a proper time
03:10 to talk with him about my relationship, but not now.
03:15 Some of my friends, they just thought I met him for fun,
03:19 just not for a serious relationship.
03:21 Most of them, they don't like the guy who is big muscle.
03:26 Actually, my friends prefer Korean style,
03:30 Korean K-pop style, this kind of style.
03:34 So they never think I will find a black guy as a boyfriend.
03:41 My friend, Luca, is coming over today.
03:44 I'm so anxious to hear what will he say.
03:47 Luca is one of my best friends.
03:50 The first time when he saw Tamara's pictures,
03:53 he said he looks like a gangster.
03:56 A gangster in an American movie.
03:59 I didn't have many friends who were dating foreigners,
04:03 especially a black guy or a UK guy in China.
04:06 So I'm pretty curious about it.
04:08 Older people in China, they may have some misjudgments
04:12 for the integration relationships
04:15 because they didn't meet any foreigners
04:18 during their whole life, so they don't know much about foreigners,
04:21 including white guys or black guys.
04:25 So when I saw his photo, I think he's a...
04:29 - A cold guy, right? - A cold guy.
04:33 He's a guy with so many muscles.
04:36 He's in the gym all the time.
04:39 He's a gym guy, he's a sports guy.
04:42 When I saw him in real life, I think he's a nice guy.
04:45 He's very, very kind, right?
04:47 He's funny.
04:49 - Gentleman. - Yeah, he's a gentleman.
04:52 Even though he wears a...
04:55 - Gangster. - Yeah, very gangster hairstyle.
05:00 There's kind of a stereotype that black people aren't smart.
05:04 They're athletic and they're creative.
05:07 But those are the two things that go up.
05:09 The rest of it's like, "They're not that clever."
05:10 It's an assumption.
05:11 Maybe the first reason is there are a lot of
05:14 interracial couples, Chinese and white guys.
05:19 There are not a lot of girls with black guys.
05:23 So it's rare here.
05:25 It's not common here.
05:28 But on the internet, that makes sense.
05:29 All of the negative haters on the internet.
05:33 All over the world, I mean, not only in China.
05:36 - It's true. - I think in China,
05:37 for all the generations, they may have some negative comments
05:43 because they don't meet any foreigners during their whole life.
05:47 - Yeah. - Yeah.
05:48 - Especially black guys, right? - Yeah, especially black guys.
05:51 They tend to get along with people of the same nationality.
05:56 - Yeah. - Yeah.
05:57 But I think for all the young generations, we're all right.
06:01 Yeah, the youth is more tolerant here.
06:04 - Yeah. - Yeah.
06:05 Much more tolerant than the older generation.
06:07 One of the big things that actually Cat brought up in the beginning
06:10 was to overcome the, not difficulties, but the differences that we have.
06:15 Like, there are a lot of things that we are very different about.
06:17 Dress sense, what we think is attractive, even beauty standards are different.
06:21 But we're both very open.
06:23 And even though we know the differences,
06:24 we find it interesting to talk about them
06:26 and see why things are different in China and in England.
06:29 It's not so much a bad thing.
06:30 It's just something more to learn about.
06:32 The future, we have our plans.
06:34 We hope that we can move out of Shanghai in the next few years.
06:37 We want to live somewhere else,
06:39 spend time in other countries,
06:41 because we both very much like to travel.
06:43 How about you? What do you want to do in the future?
06:45 I want to explore this world with you.
06:49 I hope everyone in this world can experience more in this world.
06:54 Don't just stay in your fixed circle.
06:58 And if you step out of it,
07:00 you will find a new side of this world.
07:04 I like the energy that she brings.
07:06 She's very honest and open.
07:08 And it makes me think a lot about my actions
07:10 and reflect on myself.
07:11 So I think I've grown a lot.
07:13 He takes care of me a lot.
07:15 He treats me very well.
07:17 So I told my friend,
07:19 it's the first time I feel that I was treated as a princess.
07:24 I have a healthy relationship.
07:27 So I think the most important part
07:30 is not which country he comes from
07:34 or which race he is.
07:37 The most important part is who he is.
07:40 And the feeling from this relationship he gave me.
07:44 It's the most important part.
07:46 And that's why I like to be with him.
07:50 [MUSIC PLAYING]
07:54 [MUSIC PLAYING]
07:58 [MUSIC PLAYING]
08:01 [MUSIC PLAYING]
08:04 [BLANK_AUDIO]
Comments