New show shares advice on looking for love later in life

ABC NEWS (Australia)

It’s not often we see senior citizens represented on reality TV dating shows, but that’s about to change.

Transcript

00:00 I think it's really important that we consider this life stage as vibrant in romance as any

00:07 other time.

00:08 Often we have very ageist ideas that this should be a time you're over all of that sort

00:13 of thing and you should be really devoted to your grandchildren or taking up golf.

00:18 And in fact, nothing could be further than the truth for many people who still think,

00:24 well, companionship, intimacy, sex, great travel, lots of options are still ahead of

00:30 me.

00:31 Am I right to presume that relationships are far more matured in your more matured years

00:35 and you're a lot more confident if you go onto the dating scene?

00:39 Look, there's certainly less self-consciousness.

00:42 You'd think there'd be more because there is that awareness of your body's not being

00:46 perhaps as they were or your confidence, your place in society is a bit different.

00:52 But in fact, because there's a certain amount you can't do about any of that, some of that

00:57 self-consciousness about how do I look in this and how do I come across slips away,

01:02 you know, and there can be a lot more maturity, a lot more sort of being settled in oneself

01:07 and owning up to, well, this is who I am and this is what I'm looking for.

01:11 So whilst a more mature data might have this perception of themselves, often in that scene,

01:18 people come to that scene with baggage.

01:21 It's not a great word, but they come with life experience.

01:25 So does that make it a little bit more difficult to navigate?

01:28 Well, look, probably baggage is a bit of the right word because of course there's a history

01:32 of relationships before that, probably a considerable history, but also you're not dating alone.

01:38 You're often bringing a couple of generations with you.

01:40 Now this is very different to any other life stage.

01:44 So sometimes your children or even grandchildren can be ambivalent through to hostile about

01:49 you pursuing this and saying, aren't we enough for you?

01:52 You know, surely you could do a bit more babysitting and that would be a good use of your time.

01:57 So there is this real rejection.

01:58 I mean, often we have a rejection of our parents being sexual beings anyway, but I think there

02:03 is a real sense of, you know, get over it.

02:08 And so you can actually need to spend some time introducing your children and grandchildren

02:14 to the needs that you still have and to bring them on the journey.

02:17 I think some people keep it under wraps and then just say, surprise, I've met someone

02:22 and that can be a real shock.

02:24 But I think to be able to say, look, I am actually feeling lonely for companionship

02:28 of my own and I'd like a bigger life and I want you to support me in this.

02:33 So if anyone who may be watching this and who may be wanting to get back into the dating

02:38 scene again, what tips would you give them?

02:41 Look, I think what's really important is to feel entitled to want this, to feel that even

02:47 if those around you don't support you, that you are actually entitled.

02:51 This is a valid interest that you have to certainly bring your family on the journey

02:56 to introduce them to those interests.

02:58 I think anybody dating needs a bit of a cheer squad.

03:01 So to have other people who do actually say, how's it going, that you tell people that

03:07 you're open to it so that they might have friends that they want to introduce you to.

03:11 You might have a wingman too.

03:12 Well, look, there might be all of that.

03:14 And I think being open to new experiences to realise that at that stage of life, you

03:19 can have very settled groups of friends and hobbies.

03:22 And some of it is going to involve going out on a limb and trying some new things.

03:27 But you know, dating apps are available for this life stage as well.

03:30 And we often think again in ageist ways that this is not a group that are savvy around

03:35 technology and really that's lots of research has shown that's not at all true.

03:39 Right, so there's a lot of dating apps out there on offer that are safe and useful and

03:46 result in matches?

03:47 Yes, absolutely.

03:49 Yeah, absolutely.

03:50 So this is this is now most one of the most common ways to meet people.

03:54 So I think at that life stage, there can often be friends and, you know, other people who

04:00 can introduce you certainly, but apps are going to play a part in that.

04:04 [BLANK_AUDIO]

Category

Transcript

Recommended