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00:00This is weird because we haven't met, but I'm just going to say out loud I'm obsessed by you
00:06Everybody this is Chris. Say hello. Hi
00:10Chris does this extraordinary thing on social where he talks to birds. Who was the naughtiest bird this week?
00:18Spud the little owl
00:20Spud the little owl?
00:23Where does Spud sleep?
00:25In her aviary. Okay, that's a shame
00:30I'm so nervous. I didn't need to touch people
00:34Nice to see you. Nice to see you look divine. Hello. Oh, I'm gonna do this with everybody
01:06Get ready
01:09And approve of the carpet to be honest. It is too late if you loathe
01:13We have an amazing audience and it's now time to welcome our brilliant guests
01:18He is a triple threat comedian presenter author. He's got a new book called common decency. It's Tom Allen
01:32She's the star of ugly Betty and desperate housewives has been nominated for eleven Grammys and she's currently in the
01:41West End production of the devil wears Prada
01:43It's Vanessa Williams
01:52She is the writer and star of absolutely fabulous and national treasure and she's here to talk about her new
01:59film the magic faraway tree
02:00It's Jennifer Saunders
02:12We started everything from Jurassic Park to the Grand Budapest Hotel
02:17He's also a musician and has a new album out. It's the wonderful Wizard of Oz himself Jeff Goldblum
02:39Thank you so much have a seat this is I can't believe it. Thank you for coming on the first
02:46and possibly last
02:47No, it won't be
02:49We're gonna enjoy ourselves. We'll end with the conga
02:52Imagine you said you said it's the last show. I'll be cut to in a blink of an eye
02:5830 years from now the longest running show ever
03:08I'm going to start with this. How do you feel about the set? I think it's stunning
03:14I'm loving I'm like I like the height yet. Go ahead because and I like the back being here being
03:20close to the actual back
03:22Yes, you know, they don't have back. Oh, I'm so sorry
03:29I'm basically on a buffet actually or my parents used to have a buffet and then when I came out
03:35they suddenly changed it to the footstool
03:45I
03:47It's all all new I would call this a hunter green possibly. Yes, correct. Very manly kind of
03:56Yes, I'm here. Would you call him
03:58Emerald green dark teal
04:01Would you dark white teal?
04:04Would you like to meet the woman who chose the color of the sofa?
04:08Here's the scene we go to a basement a sort of sofa workshop. Oh, yeah, we all go as a
04:15gang
04:15We meet a woman called Trudy. We couldn't decide between two colors Trudy is here Trudy
04:29You you chose this color. Did you not it was really you chose the color amongst 70 other options?
04:39And we designed and made the sofa that it goes on. Wow. Well done Trudy
04:45What would you call this color, please? I would call it a very dark teal?
04:57I do think as well you guys who work in furniture shops are great
05:00It's not a furniture shop. Oh, I beg your pardon
05:05It's a boutique
05:11You don't get this with what you've got
05:21This is what I live for as a gay man
05:29The last time I bought any furniture though I went in to buy mattress and I walked into the shop
05:33and the woman said hi, I'm fair and I went oh my god
05:39Good mattress a deep one. I hope mmm. You know what buying a mattress is complicated
05:43Have you ever bought one I bet you've not bought one you're a Hollywood star. You don't buy furniture
05:48I know that's what they say always invest in a good bed or good shoes. Yeah, because if you're not
05:55in one you're in the other
05:58Not that you're gonna have that and it we went in and she was like and she said you got
06:03a lion lie on it lie on the bed
06:04Lie on it like they put down that plastic sheet as though. It's gonna be so comfortable. I'm gonna immediately
06:09piss myself
06:11So I'm sliding all over the place and and then she gets on the bed next to me
06:16What I know and then she said a cuddle for it basically and then she said how do you sleep
06:20which sounds sort of accusatory?
06:23Something you shout at people in court is that how do you sleep?
06:26And I said well, I don't know. I'm usually asleep and she said well, are you supported? I said I've
06:30got some very good friends
06:35And then before I went she said and and do you have nightstands and I said well that is absolutely
06:40none of your business
06:46That's what I think
06:49Explain that joke to me because
06:55The double meaning of that of course is a nightstand next to the bed the piece of furniture Trudy
06:59But his nightstand because I think it's a Britishism is the double on tonda which is French for fish of
07:05the day, I think
07:07Is a nightstand is that is that like a like a one-night again counter a one-night encounter?
07:14Yeah, we don't say that in America
07:15I've never heard of a nightstand
07:17I thought you just meant an erection
07:19Do you know what I thought of many things this way it was gonna go
07:24I didn't think we'd be here with three minutes
07:26Not so quickly not so quickly not so fast
07:29But yes, okay you two Vanessa and Jennifer you are linked by hairdresser
07:35by hair
07:39There's a battle tonight because Sven does both of us you booked him first
07:46He's got a lot more work to do
07:49It started this morning
07:51He's very creative
07:53I haven't known Sven that long
07:54Oh six years I got you
07:56Oh babes darling
07:56I miss those days talking about a hairdresser
08:02Jeff I would love to talk to you about your album look at this
08:08Isn't that beautiful
08:09Thank you
08:10Thank you
08:13Isn't that beautiful
08:15I do think so really well fontana you know are great and my
08:19The people my friends helped me do that that the graphics of it I do like it night blooms is
08:26the name of it
08:26It's a kind of a companion piece to our other I rather fourth album which was still blooming you get
08:31the connection
08:32Oh
08:34And I love this album very much. It's jazz. You know we play jazz
08:38We're called Jeff Goldblum in the Mildred Schnitzer Orchestra and just to name a few
08:42How many in the orchestra
08:44Five
08:45Two
08:45It was a joke I made a joke but last year
08:49The BAFTAs I had the honor of playing during the in memoriam section
08:53Oh
08:54I played on the piano with their orchestra
08:57You must remember as time goes by
08:59Oh I thought it was ding dong the witch is dead
09:08Cynthia Erivo the great Cynthia Erivo amazing and I on this next album
09:08You know it was you know it was as time goes by that beautiful song and we liked it so
09:14much
09:14That on this next album I sing a little bit of it and I play some more and there's an
09:18And there's an orchestra on this one which brings me by the way you may you brought you triggered something
09:23else in me just now
09:24This is lovely
09:26Ding dong which is dead Cynthia Erivo the great Cynthia Erivo amazing and I on this next album with strings
09:33and a big band do a
09:34Newfangled version of if I only had a brain
09:38Oh
09:39What a beautiful
09:44So and many other surprises but thank you for bringing it up I'm very crazy about this album
09:50We have a clip of you playing not a song from this album, but I believe the last one but
09:54it's fantastic
09:55Okay
10:20Isn't it lovely
10:21I like that
10:22It's so lovely
10:23I like that
10:24It's so lovely
10:25You see
10:26I tell you they love it
10:28I love it
10:30You were you played when you were young I love this story I don't know if it's true
10:34And you used to phone restaurants just saying I hear you need a pianist
10:37Can you imagine when you were really like 15?
10:40I was sorta I had some moxie or something like that and I was full of beans and even though
10:44around 10 years old after my dad said if you find something you love to do
10:47That may be a vocational guidepost and I'd set my heart to an acting career
10:53But around the same time I was taking and fall in love with jazz and the piano
10:57And I thought I was being clever and looked at the phone book and called cocktail lounges around Pittsburgh
11:03I was 15 I think at that point and said hey I hear you need a pianist
11:07They'd said no we don't know what you're talking about who's this no no we don't like never mind
11:10But a couple of people said we have a piano come over and play it
11:13I got a couple of gigs that way and my parents would drive me to the thing and I started
11:17to play
11:18It's almost the seed of what this has become
11:20Yeah
11:21Like that you know
11:23Exactly
11:27I have become slightly obsessed with your wife because she sometimes performs with you
11:33We have a clip
11:34She's spectacular
11:36Here we go
11:37She's spectacular
11:38This is Emily
11:38Look look
11:39That's Emily
11:41Isn't she amazing?
11:44She was in the Olympics
11:47She Emily Goldblum for heaven's sakes whom I met at the gym 14 years ago
11:52She was doing something like that I wanted to go and said what are you doing look at that
11:56That's at the world famous
11:57I don't think anyone's listening to you play
12:01Good point
12:02That's at the troubadour you know the troubadour
12:03Yes
12:04We performed we did three sold out shows
12:06She's amazing
12:08We did three sold out shows there
12:10And Emily who was in the Olympics doing rhythmic gymnastics
12:14She was that year that she went to Sydney and did that she was the Pan American champion
12:18She was the best of that in North South America
12:22She's fantastic she's still a world-class athlete as you can see she's doing that
12:25She's amazing
12:26We did that a month ago at the troubadour
12:29Anyway that's Emily
12:31This is just like looking at me at home
12:35So how do you compete with that?
12:36You know when you go home and one of you says I'll put some toast in
12:40And does four cartwheels and puts it in with her toes
12:43She does every move is quite a picture
12:46I bet
12:47She's astounding but yes
12:49But you can also do something rather wonderful
12:52Well I do this it's not Olympic activity yet
12:54Buckle up guys
12:55I can wiggle my ears but one at a time
12:58Watch
12:59Watch
13:00This
13:01Ready?
13:02Yeah
13:03Oh my goodness
13:04Right
13:05Right
13:06Right
13:06Right
13:06Right
13:08Oh
13:09I apologise
13:10Unbelievable
13:11I apologise
13:13Jeff you've starred obviously in Oscar nominated Wicked the biggest musical film in recent memory
13:23And this is my favourite thing I don't know whether this is true but please say it is
13:28That occasionally you would look down the lens and speak directly to the editor and say I like that take
13:34Or is that true?
13:36Yes I would do takes I was trying to do a good job and sometimes as was my want to
13:41do I think is the phrase
13:42I would after a take I would go and he would go and cut okay
13:48Jeff says Myron Kirstein that's that's I say that's that's a good one
13:53Just so you know our editors called Steve he's happy with any notes you have
13:57Yeah
13:58That's your camera over there
14:00If you said something that you're particularly proud of you just say Steve add
14:04Yes, I think I've been lively tonight Steve and I say any any genuine moment that especially I like the
14:11spontaneous ones
14:13Yes
14:13Where there's a real connection which I've felt strongly with us so I say so far anything is good for
14:19the show
14:20Fine
14:20Thank you
14:22Steve will take that
14:23Good Steve
14:24I trust you completely Steve
14:26We all trust Steve
14:27Um you are going on tour
14:29Yes ma'am
14:30You're going to start in Wolverhampton
14:32Oh I love the Hamptons
14:34Oh
14:36I'm starting in the Hamptons
14:37I haven't even in Wikipedia
14:39You know this was all arranged you know for us
14:42I don't know anything about
14:44How many gigs you do how many towns are you doing?
14:47We're doing a bunch
14:47They're doing a few
14:48You know we've been to Glastonbury in several you know in the last several years and Ronnie Scott's
14:52We've played all over the place
14:53Would you like to know more about Wolverhampton?
14:56Maybe the eateries you should go to if there's a statue a small aquarium
15:00I believe Corey is here
15:02Hello
15:02Hi Corey
15:03Hello
15:05You've been to Wolverhampton
15:06I am from Wolverhampton
15:07Okay, so Jeff's there for a couple of days
15:09Let's give him a full schedule
15:11I'd like it laminated
15:12Where should he go?
15:14Jeff what you should do is you should get off the train in Wolverhampton
15:18Immediately get back on and leave Wolverhampton
15:20No!
15:23No!
15:24Where is it?
15:26Where is it?
15:27I have no idea
15:28Yes, yes
15:29Not far
15:30Couple of hours
15:31Okay
15:31Is there somewhere delicious?
15:33No it's great
15:34Wolverhampton is absolutely great
15:35We have
15:35We have a Nando's
15:37A what?
15:38A Nando's
15:38It's a chicken restaurant
15:40It's a chicken place
15:41But being on tour
15:42There's always something to do
15:43Well yes
15:44I love going round Britain on tour
15:47There's always a little museum
15:48There's a pencil museum
15:50Yes
15:50Yes
15:51Yes
15:52I'm very interested in pencils
15:53What do you mean?
15:55I love pencils
15:55There's a lot of shop mannequins dressed up
15:58What's your pencil of choice number?
16:00What is it?
16:00I used to
16:01Once I go to
16:02My criminal period
16:04When I was
16:05Eight or nine
16:06Fine
16:07I stole
16:08Yeah
16:08Other kids pencils
16:09We had those desks that went like that
16:11Yes
16:11You know when everybody was going out in a line
16:13I'd be the last one
16:14And I'd wait behind
16:15And I'd open up desks
16:16And I'd steal their pencils
16:18I hoarded and collected pencils
16:21Until one day somebody went
16:22Geoffrey has all our pencils
16:24And then it was very embarrassing
16:25And I'm cured
16:26I'm a very honest
16:28Honest
16:28No stealing
16:29Can I just
16:30Because the way your face lit up
16:31At the sound of a pencil museum
16:33A pencil?
16:33I hope there is a pencil museum now
16:35Um
16:36Do you like a classic HB?
16:38Do you like ones that you can
16:40No, I don't like a mechanical pencil
16:43Apologise
16:43I'm very particular with my ballpoint pen
16:45Can I throw this into the mix?
16:48What?
16:49Because this is going to blow your mind
16:50There is a woman here
16:52In this room
16:53Who designs
16:55Pencils
16:56No way
16:57Correct
16:58I'm getting goosebumps
16:59I'm telling you
17:00You're getting goosebumps?
17:02I'm dying
17:02I'm dying
17:04Amy
17:04Amy
17:05Are you here?
17:06Yes
17:06Amy, tell me what you do
17:08With pencils
17:09And and stationary all round
17:12So I develop new types of pencils
17:15Develop new types of pencils?
17:17Do you?
17:18Because we don't want to upset him
17:20Because he's our very special guest
17:21Do you do the
17:24Pencils?
17:25We have one
17:25Yes
17:26Well I'm open minded
17:27But I don't like him
17:30Oh
17:31What's the best thing
17:31If that's not too much pressure
17:33That you have ever designed
17:35So our best pencil is the drawing pencil
17:39Which has the creamiest
17:41Oh it's creamy
17:42It's the creamiest pencil
17:44And has the widest core
17:46Does that mean the lead that goes through it?
17:49Yes
17:49Is there a pencil museum?
17:51Because I'm
17:51Did I make it up?
17:52There is
17:53It's in the Lake District
17:54Lake District
17:55Are you going to the Lake District?
17:56I am now
17:59I'm going
18:00Amazing
18:01You have to
18:02I'm definitely going
18:03Thank you Amy
18:04How brilliant
18:05Nick you're here
18:06Let's have a round of applause for Amy
18:07Oh
18:08Amazing
18:09Can I say
18:09You know what you remind me of the other
18:10What?
18:11The touring around England in plays
18:14You all know that play I'm sure
18:16The dresser
18:17Oh yes
18:18Yes
18:18Lovely play
18:19Great
18:20Courtney did it
18:21And then Anthony Hopkins and Ian McKellen redid it
18:24In a remake
18:25Ian McKellen made me eggs
18:27What?
18:28Oh
18:29Scramble
18:30Scramble
18:31Little salmon on the side
18:33Yes
18:34Toast
18:35Toast
18:36Lovely
18:37Sit down or sat
18:39Did you get a seat?
18:39No sit down
18:40Sit down
18:41Bar stool or chair
18:42Bar stool or chair
18:42And a proper proper dining table
18:46Just the two of you
18:47Just the two
18:47No no no it was a group of people
18:48Gosh did you do all the eggs at once
18:50Or did you do them personally?
18:52Personally
18:53Personally
18:53Personally
18:53Personally
18:53Personally
18:53Personally
18:54Personally
18:55I tell you that's how you get the night
18:57And plate them
18:59Scramble
19:00I had scrambled eggs and smoked salmon this morning
19:02Oh
19:02Thanks
19:04Guys
19:04About two hours ago we started talking about night blooms
19:08Yes
19:08And I would just like to lift this up and say when when is it out?
19:12June 5th
19:13There we go
19:13Wow
19:13Night blooms
19:16Brilliant
19:17Jeff
19:18No you are amazing
19:20Um
19:21Jennifer we have to talk about your film The Magic Far Away
19:24Were you saying my film? I'm in the film
19:27No it's your film
19:28Okay
19:29Let's have a clip
19:30It's just like you said
19:31It's enchanted and wonderful
19:33Dad and I just felt like a place like this
19:35Will bring us all back together again
19:38Grandma
19:38I will get them back to the city if it is the last thing I do
19:41Sorry guys
19:43Better start packing
19:46You wish to cross the lands
19:48To locate a spell
19:50To save your house from your evil grandma
19:54We know all of this
19:56You know all that because we just told you it
19:58All right
19:59No need to get shirty
20:03Jennifer
20:04Oh
20:05It's just a lovely film
20:07How much fun was it to me?
20:10Just so much fun
20:11Gone
20:11A great wig
20:12A really good wig
20:15We just have a look at freedom
20:17Oh my god
20:18Look at this wig
20:19Look at this wig
20:20Look at this wig
20:20There she is
20:21That's the hair I want
20:22I love the fact that we're flapping
20:23I want that hair
20:25I want that hair
20:26I mean nothing
20:26No
20:27You see nothing
20:27It's so thick
20:29And it just stays in that shape
20:30I love it
20:31Because now
20:32You see this is Sven
20:33Most of this is
20:35There's a
20:35Most of a sort of
20:36A nun's hair
20:37Has been woven into
20:38In sort of
20:39Extensions
20:40That are
20:41You know nuns sell their hair
20:42Yeah
20:42And they get made into extensions
20:44They do
20:47They really?
20:48Yeah
20:48They sell what for money?
20:50Nuns sell their hair
20:51Yeah
20:51Thank you
20:52I'm disagreeing
20:53Because it's Jennifer
20:54Whatever she says
20:56But I love the accent
20:58I love everything about Frida
20:59Yes
21:00How was she created?
21:02Because I thought it was a small part
21:03I wouldn't have to do very much
21:04But they said
21:05Will you come in for rehearsal?
21:06And I went
21:07Yeah, of course
21:07And it was with Andrew Garfield
21:09And Claire Foy
21:10And the children
21:11And I thought
21:12This is quite
21:14It's big time
21:15You know
21:15Because you've sort of been
21:16Grappled into this
21:17Big movie
21:18And I thought
21:20I better
21:20I better try hard
21:22But I had no idea
21:23What was going to come out of my mouth
21:24When I first opened my mouth
21:26And I thought
21:27Do you know
21:27I might go a little bit Danish
21:28Because I can make
21:31Because I can make
21:33The Danish noises
21:34Do you know
21:34Yes
21:36It's almost fluent
21:38Yes
21:39Tuck
21:41Tuck
21:42Tuck
21:56Tuck
21:57Yeah
21:57I had to do the whole
21:58I had to learn a German accent then
22:00And do the whole thing in German
22:01But it gave me the character
22:03Yes
22:04It was lovely
22:04So lovely
22:05You guys are so good at accents
22:07The preparedness that
22:08You've been given in schools is amazing
22:12And you have to show up for
22:14You say what?
22:15I'm not training
22:16You're not training
22:18It's extraordinary
22:19I mean
22:19They can throw on an American accent immediately
22:21And like refine it
22:23So it's Midwestern
22:24There's a New York
22:25What period time period is
22:27But also do all these other ones
22:28It's really
22:29I'm very impressed
22:30I admire that
22:30I admire
22:32Terrifically
22:32You're a great artist
22:33I'm a very great artist
22:35You are
22:36Can you do a London accent?
22:38Not really
22:39Not really
22:40Ah!
22:42But like
22:42I want to talk more about the film
22:47Because the location is so beautiful
22:49Tell me you were
22:50Somewhere lovely
22:52We were in a very lovely part of the countryside
22:54Yeah
22:54Um
22:55And near a wood
22:57Near a wood
22:58Because it is called the magic far away tree
23:00It is about a tree that's magic and very far away
23:02Um
23:03You don't know where it was
23:04I don't know where it was
23:06Do you?
23:06I think it was in a studio
23:07But there we are
23:09Never mind
23:10Um
23:10Very lovely
23:13There is somebody here
23:14Because I believe you also have a place in the countryside
23:17Yes
23:17There is somebody who lives I think in your neck of the woods
23:20Oh gosh
23:20Is that scary?
23:22Slightly
23:24Go on
23:24Go on
23:25They do something rather magical
23:26In my hood
23:27It's I believe it is in your hood
23:30Okay
23:30Anna
23:30Hello
23:31What have you done this week?
23:33So my neighbours and I have been helping toads cross the road
23:36To prevent them getting squashed by the cars as they're migrating to their pond
23:39Wow
23:40To breed
23:40And we've had
23:41I think we've helped about a thousand toads in the last few weeks
23:44Wow
23:44A thousand toads
23:46Wow
23:46A thousand toads
23:47That saved a thousand toads
23:50Wow
23:51Wow
23:51Are you
23:52Are you
23:54Are you
23:55Is it like directing?
23:56Like
23:57Like signs?
23:58No signposts
23:59No signposts
24:00So I have my head torch and my gloves and a bucket
24:03And we pick them up off the road
24:05We put them in the bucket
24:06And we help them to get to the gate near the pond
24:09So they're not going to be on the road
24:11Have you thought about building
24:12I don't know
24:12A tunnel?
24:15Do they say
24:16I know this is a weird question but I've committed to it
24:19Do they say thank you?
24:21No, but they have the most beautiful little chirping sound
24:24You can hear them when it's a really quiet evening
24:27You can hear them kind of chirping, chirping, chirping in the pond
24:30And they're really amazing, they're very sweet
24:32Very, very good
24:34Hey
24:39Do you know the end of that P.T. Anderson movie who did this year's One Bad Left Another
24:43Oh, yeah, I know
24:45Yeah, of course
24:46Magnolia
24:46Magnolia
24:47Where all the toads or frogs, you know, fall from the sky
24:51Spoiler alert, Jeff
24:52Spoiler alert
24:53That happens right at the end
24:54Steve, Steve, if you feel cut that into
24:57Cut that into
24:59I love it
25:03If you could save one animal
25:06Oh
25:06What would have been?
25:07I would save a horse
25:08Would you?
25:09Yes, well I'd need the hair for my extensions
25:11I'd have to be chopping off
25:14Yes, I think for the hair
25:15Because, you know, for the hooves
25:17Yeah
25:17For the mental health
25:23What would you say, Tom?
25:25You know what?
25:25None of them
25:26I think
25:28You know, people say, oh, it's so relaxing to go and spend time in nature
25:31But you look closely, all they're doing is eating each other
25:36It's disgusting
25:36You watch those David Attenborough films
25:39Horrifying
25:40People love it, don't they?
25:41Put it on while they're having their tea
25:42A lion
25:44Ripping a gazelle to shreds
25:47You know, they fall asleep while they're watching a dolphin drown a whale
25:53Horrible
25:53Why would you save any of them?
25:55I think the sooner we get rid of them, the better
26:02I just think, you know
26:03Yeah, yeah
26:05It's a different view
26:06That's, and I think that's what this show is about
26:08Correct
26:10It's very, it's like question time, but for drunk celebrities
26:16Okay, Jennifer, when can we see The Magic Faraway Tree?
26:20I think it's out on March the 27th
26:22Correct, yes
26:23We can't wait, we'll all go
26:25A blue pattern
26:30Vanessa, I have to talk to you about The Devil Wears Prada
26:34I went on Friday, every seat is full and they are screaming
26:37Oh
26:38And when you come up, the most beautiful thing
26:41People are like
26:42I was sitting next to somebody who was like in tears, screaming, standing up
26:47It's a thing
26:48It's like a rock concert
26:49Wow, yeah
26:49Describe the show just for anyone who doesn't know
26:52Well, there's a young girl named Andy Sachs, who is a journalist, based on a true story
26:57And she lives in New York, she applies for a job at Runway Magazine, which is a very famous fashion
27:05magazine, aka Vogue
27:07Mm-hmm
27:07And she has no idea who Miranda Priestly is, nor her reputation
27:11And she gets the job as the assistant
27:13And now they're doing a sequel to the movie
27:16I know
27:17So who knows what's going to happen this time
27:19Wow
27:19There's much excitement
27:20Yeah
27:20Let's have a clip of The Devil Wears Prada story
27:25Oh my god
27:26What if I don't want this life?
27:28Everybody wants to be us
27:30The Devil Wears Prada
27:36The Devil Wears Prada
27:40The Devil Wears Prada
27:44The Devil Wears Prada
27:46The Devil Wears Prada
27:47That's all
27:48APPLAUSE
27:49That's a long, long, long
27:52What a fun role to play
27:54You must love it
27:56It's fun
27:57I can show up and be in a bad mood and not care
28:00Because I can just be miserable the whole time
28:02Yeah
28:02And it doesn't matter, it just makes the world better
28:04But, you know, I have to say, it's...
28:07I love this country
28:09And I got a chance to meet the king
28:11Like, you know, I've done things
28:13Not just as a tourist and not just as a working actor
28:17But these extraordinary experiences
28:19You know, I did the Royal Variety Show
28:21I mean, it's been... it's been heaven
28:24How much fun was it working with Elton?
28:26Oh my god
28:27I mean, not only is he a legend
28:29And, you know, growing up listening to his music
28:31And going to his house in Windsor
28:33Stop!
28:33Again, another opportunity
28:35That, you know, a normal tourist would never get
28:38You know, tons of fresh...
28:40Oh, I don't know
28:43You are living the life
28:45He's so honest, that's what I love about him
28:48He's so frank
28:49And the first time I met him
28:51We were doing the workshop in January 2024
28:54And he had just had his first knee surgery
28:57And I walked into the rehearsal room
28:59And his sweats were down by his ankles
29:02And he was showing everybody his scar
29:04But all I saw was his bum
29:05I was like...
29:05OK
29:07We're going to be friends
29:09What about the dressing rooms?
29:11The difference between Broadway, if you like
29:12And the West End
29:13On Broadway, you can choose your...
29:16Well, you can choose your paint colour and...
29:34And...
29:34Trudy!
29:35Trudy!
29:36Trudy!
29:37Trudy!
29:39Trudy!
29:39I'm quite frightened of Trudy now
29:41Cognac, it's not a good, nice cognac
29:42Well, cognac's beautiful to drink, obviously
29:44But, um...
29:46Yeah, we just had an old-fashioned before we came on
29:48Oh!
29:49Good girl!
29:50Good girl!
29:51Good girl!
29:53Um...
29:53This is what I love, Vanessa
29:55I'm just sharing this with the group
29:56You have something rather special on your rider
29:59And it is...
30:00A dog
30:01Now, I agree
30:02When you look at Vanessa
30:04Beautiful
30:05Like, sort of
30:06Absolutely gorgeous
30:07That bone structure
30:07You think small
30:08A little
30:09Like a powder puff
30:11Of a dog
30:11On top of a cushion
30:13Yeah?
30:14Ladies and gentlemen
30:15Meet Roscoe
30:16Yeah!
30:17Oh, wow!
30:18Wow
30:19There he is
30:21Roscoe
30:21Is that a great day?
30:23Beautiful
30:24So beautiful
30:25And he comes to
30:27Every show
30:28Yeah
30:29He's got his giant bed
30:30Next to my
30:31Make a table
30:32Look at him!
30:33He's amazing
30:34He's enormous
30:35He's a great Dane?
30:35He's a great Dane
30:36I had a great Dane
30:37What?
30:38Can't remember his name
30:39But, uh...
30:41OK
30:43It's a joke
30:43It's a proper joke
30:44It's a joke
30:45What's his name?
30:46Roscoe
30:47Like Roscoe Chicken and Waffles
30:48I love Roscoe Chicken and Waffles
30:49Roscoe Chicken and Waffles
30:50Roscoe Lee Brown
30:51You didn't know Roscoe Lee Brown, did you?
30:53I know who he was, but it wasn't...
30:55What's going on?
30:56I don't know
30:56I don't know
30:58I don't know
31:00I want my ham
31:01I want my ham
31:02Two trains running
31:03I saw Roscoe Lee Brown
31:04Anyway
31:05It does feel sometimes like I'm in a nursing home
31:07A few moments when there was this talk of this Roscoe fella that nobody knew except you guys knew him
31:23very well
31:24Chicken and Waffles and the dog and the bit of the cognac
31:30I am older than I realise
31:34So, to be clear, you have Roscoe, you have Woody, you love your dog
31:38We have Woody, so we have three dogs
31:40Do you have a dog?
31:41Of course I have a dog
31:42I breastfeed him
31:43And you have a dog
31:45No
31:46I do
31:48Tom, you, I believe, you're on the fence regarding a dog
31:51I would love a dog, but I worry about having a dog because I'm away a lot
31:54And they're obviously a big responsibility, but I would like a dog
31:58Shall we tip the scales?
31:59Yeah, I'd like that
32:01Are you ready to meet a dog?
32:02Oh my God
32:04Please welcome Percy
32:06Oh no
32:10No way
32:11Come on Percy
32:12Come on Percy
32:16This is Heather who owns Percy
32:18Look, how can you not?
32:20I will, I will
32:22I love him
32:22What do you think?
32:23I gave him a biscuit, I love him
32:24I gave him a biscuit, so he's happy
32:26Look, Percy loves you
32:29Look, Percy loves you
32:29Hang on
32:29I feel like this isn't fair
32:30You've got treats for him
32:31He's never got
32:32Oh
32:34Percy
32:34Would you like a little treat?
32:36Lively
32:36Come on then
32:38Sit on
32:39This is Tom
32:39No, never
32:40He's more interested in you
32:41This is the story of my life
32:42I mean, he's just yet
32:43God's found a dog
32:44How old?
32:45Seven
32:47Look, he's taken two
32:48Look at that
32:52Yeah
32:52You want to go and live with me?
32:54You want to come and live with me?
32:55You can have a dog like that
32:57I don't know whether you can take this dog
32:59He's your dog
33:00He's your dog
33:01OK, he needs to leave
33:02Thank you so much
33:03Thank you Percy
33:04Thank you Heather
33:04Nice to meet you
33:06Yes, you're right
33:07Bye Percy
33:08You got attached to it already
33:10What do you think?
33:11I think he actually liked me that much
33:13Don't take it on lightly
33:14Unless you can commit to a lifelong
33:16Absolutely
33:17Responsibility
33:18You're right
33:18And I spend a lot of money on furniture
33:20So will they
33:21I don't want them weeing up against it
33:23Thank you so much
33:25So Vanessa
33:26Devil Wears Prada is on
33:28Until when and where please?
33:30We are at the Dominion Theatre
33:32I am going to be there till October 17th
33:35And the show will run
33:36Definitely until next year
33:38OK
33:38Thank you
33:46I commit right now to attend every show until you're out of it
33:49I'm going to be at every show
33:50When you're not in Wolverhampton
33:52Yes
33:52Having a chicken wrap
33:53Yes, exactly
33:55Tom, you are going to musical theatre
33:57You're about to star in Titanic
33:59Yes
34:00Indeed
34:00And I'm very
34:02There we go
34:03That set sail
34:06Tell us all about it
34:08Well, it is the most extraordinary show
34:11I saw it when it first opened over here
34:12It started in America
34:14It's like the most ridiculous retelling of the film Titanic
34:18And it's as though Celine Dion was actually on board the ship of dreams
34:22And she got drunk
34:24And this is how she remembers the story of Titanic
34:26And it's told through her songs
34:28So Celine Dion is the narrator in the show
34:32So that's kind of bonkers enough as it is
34:34And then added on to that
34:36Is you've got people like me who play, you know, Rose, the Kate Winslet character
34:40Her mother is Ruth and that's played by me
34:45And not really in period dress at all
34:47I have an Alice band on with some birds attached to it
34:49Don't ask why, just enjoy it
34:51And it's just such bonkers fun
34:53We're all coming
34:54Well, I think you would all love it
34:56We would
34:56There's something about it that's just kind of out of this world
34:58It's just joy
34:59Just joy for a couple of hours
35:00Can't wait
35:01Where's it on?
35:02It's on at the Criterion Theatre
35:05And I'm in it until the 12th of April
35:07But it's booking through until June
35:09We can't wait to sit
35:10Thank you
35:11Thank you one person
35:14He is coming
35:15Tom, is it true that your theatre is haunted?
35:20Well, they say there's a man in the circle who sometimes walks across
35:24And I thought I saw him but it turned out it was just the lighting man
35:29I think there are there are stories about him there but the more you look for him I think the
35:33less he's going to appear, right?
35:34It's like it's like a husband, isn't it?
35:38Yeah, there's supposed to be one in the Dominion
35:40Her name is Eleanor
35:41She was like 10 years old and there used to be some giant beer vat or some kind of brewery
35:48in the in the bottom and there was an explosion and beer apparently flooded that whole Tottenham Court area
35:54No
35:55And this was a young girl that died in this flood of beer and she is a ten-year-old
36:01daughter
36:02Drunk
36:03Drunk
36:05Drunk
36:05Suckling around
36:09The Drury Lane theatre that used to be just the bottom half of a man sitting in a seat sometimes
36:15No
36:16Yes
36:16Would you like to chat to somebody who converses with ghosts?
36:20Yeah
36:20Yes
36:22Maxine
36:23Oh, hello. What is your advice to Tom? He's going to be
36:29Performing singing he looks up to the circle
36:32Should he bow what happens when you see when you see them?
36:35I think if you want to see this ghost you can ask
36:40I mean they they will reveal themselves to you spirit
36:43When you say reveal themselves
36:45As in show their spirit body. Oh my goodness
36:53Could I be on my own when I ask or well, I don't think that matters really
36:58It doesn't matter. I just think the cleaner is sometimes there so
37:03How brave are you feeling? Are you happy to see them if they appear in front of you?
37:07Well, I suppose how do you know if they're if they're a malevolent spirit or well, you know, you're a
37:12good chap
37:18You're the kind of person that's not got a good energy yourself, you know, you're you're kind of an evil
37:24person
37:25You're acting in no
37:26No, I know I know
37:28But if you were you can then attract beings that aren't so nice. Well, it seems like a lot of
37:34pressure
37:36Will you let us know please well, I will you but not if it's a bad spirit
37:41terribly badly on me
37:44a
37:44Parent a parent's evening like I did my best
37:49When was the last time you spoke to a spirit?
37:53Yesterday I did a reading for somebody and I see them and they talk to me. Wow. Is there anyone
37:59here?
38:00I'm not working right now. Well, I think that's the misconception
38:02I like the way you just clock on and clock on
38:05I know
38:06I know
38:06What is that?
38:07Thank you Maxine! Let's hear it for Maxine!
38:13Fantastic!
38:14Do you like that movie called it right?
38:15It's a union thing. I get it. It's a union thing. It's a union thing.
38:19Hey, you know in this life you've turned it to an angle. You know who you look like?
38:23Go on. Go on.
38:24Very young handsome John Travolta.
38:26Yes
38:26Correct!
38:29Correct!
38:30Correct!
38:31Until I was just sitting here a moment ago when you were talking to the spirit lady.
38:35Tom.
38:35Oh my goodness and I was possessed by the spirit of John Travolta since he shaved his head.
38:43Tom, you have also written a very brilliant book.
38:46Oh!
38:46It's a novel. Your first novel.
38:49My first novel, yes.
38:50Common Decency. Tell us all about it please.
38:53Well, I've written two non-fiction books about myself and this is the first time I've created a world and
38:58some characters to inhabit it.
39:00And I wanted to write about suburbia because I think it's a sort of boring place that everybody ignores but
39:06actually I've realised that's where all drama happens.
39:09But it's about the sort of secrets and lies that exist in our kind of otherwise quite mundane lives.
39:14So I wanted to, I just, I like the idea of kind of, well I live in suburbia now.
39:18I live in Bromley which is kind of archetypally suburban.
39:20And I like, and I'm on a WhatsApp group and I've come to love all those trappings of, you know,
39:25people on, do you have a WhatsApp group, you know, with your neighbours?
39:27Oh, where they all like, you know, it's supposed to be to help your neighbours.
39:30But it's just, you know, a load of, you know, idiots shouting nonsense into the wind.
39:35And how often do you ever post?
39:37No, I just like to watch it. The only time I like it is when people say they're putting out
39:40furniture on their driveway.
39:41Something which I like to call street tapas.
39:47I love that!
39:48I like, you know, but I like the sort of community aspect of it.
39:54I've always enjoyed that kind of thing of it all.
39:57I'm loving your face, James.
39:59Oh, you love to run over those toads.
40:01LAUGHTER
40:04You've put your foot down.
40:07Do you do WhatsApp groups?
40:09I, I, I, WhatsApp groups are the bane of my life.
40:13Really? I can't bear them.
40:15Really?
40:15Can you like, do you like a WhatsApp group?
40:16I like one of the families.
40:17I like this one, just my family is enough.
40:20But then when they start having private conversations within the WhatsApp group.
40:24Disgusting.
40:25You then get a ping and it's just a fucking emoji.
40:28I just can't bear them.
40:31Yeah.
40:32Unless it's family. Family is fine.
40:33Family is fine.
40:34And if it's, if you've got one thing, like it's a holiday or whatever,
40:37and then it's got its purpose, but don't mince about within it.
40:41Fine.
40:42Keep it strict.
40:44Fine.
40:44I like it.
40:47There's a character in your book that I love called Miranda.
40:53Oh, yes.
40:53Can we talk about her?
40:54Well, I've tried to write about different generations as well,
40:56because again, I like the way that people mix in, in the best part,
41:00in the best parts of suburbia.
41:01And Miranda is somebody whose, whose true past isn't really known.
41:05However, she is somebody who, even though she's in her eighties,
41:09wants to experience all of life.
41:10She's had a bucket list and now she has a different sort of list.
41:13You can say it.
41:14Her fuck it list.
41:15Oh.
41:15And that includes things like taking acid.
41:18Because I just sort of think, if I make it to an old age,
41:22rather than sort of going out with a whimper,
41:24wouldn't it be great to experience acid or to try all those things
41:30you never thought you could try before?
41:31Why not?
41:32Dawn and I, my friend Dawn French and I,
41:34once thought we'd be really daring and we got an ecstasy tablet.
41:38Oh, goodness me.
41:39And we thought we could take, well, I think it was something
41:42with a rabbit on it.
41:43It was about that big.
41:45And we thought, one day, I said, well, be alone.
41:48It became such a matter of planning as to when we could take
41:52half an ecstasy tablet.
41:56And so we kept it and kept it on Dawn's mantelpiece like that.
42:00And then one day, this is about six months later,
42:02and we've gone, OK, we're ready.
42:04We had water.
42:06We didn't know what to expect at all.
42:09The pill had gone.
42:10No.
42:12But your dog was looking lively that day.
42:17And it was quite a relief to be honest.
42:18Thank goodness.
42:19Thank God we don't do that anymore.
42:21Yeah.
42:21No drugs for us.
42:22The dog was out in the garden jumping up and down.
42:26Having sex with the dragon.
42:29This brilliant book is out when, please?
42:31It's out on the 21st of May and you can pre-order it right now.
42:34Am I allowed to give this to Jeff?
42:36I won't keep it.
42:37I'm not keeping it.
42:38It's not like the puppy dog.
42:39I'd love you to have a couple of them.
42:39Really.
42:40Here, tell me when to stop.
42:42There.
42:43Left or right?
42:44Left.
42:45Tell me when to stop.
42:47Now.
42:48We all need to discuss the planning application, of course.
42:53Interrupted Donald.
42:54I assume that's what this is all about.
42:56We are going to need to take action if the rumours are true
42:58about changing the area.
43:00I love it.
43:01There you go.
43:04There are definitely moments of exposition.
43:06You have to realise that you have to cover it.
43:08Right.
43:09That is it.
43:11I just want to check, do you feel like you've covered everything?
43:14Is there anything you want to sell a bit harder?
43:18I don't want to sell anything more, but I have not covered
43:20even the tip of the iceberg.
43:22No.
43:24Jeff, I've got to go night-night.
43:26I never thought I'd say that to a guest.
43:28Not tonight, on another occasion.
43:30Please.
43:30Because my curiosity has been inflamed.
43:32This is amazing.
43:33You.
43:33By this audience, by you, and by this group.
43:36My God.
43:37Tom.
43:37Anything else?
43:38I went to buy rotisserie chicken yesterday for lunch,
43:42and they'd sold out before lunchtime.
43:46Who is having a rotisserie chicken for breakfast?
43:49Some people are perverts.
43:52Well, thank you all.
43:53We are so grateful.
43:55We are off to eat salami.
43:57Happy with that?
43:58Yeah.
43:58I love salami.
44:20Good night.
44:21Good night.
44:21Good night.
44:22Thank you, everybody.
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