00:00With my winning smile, I'm a living lesson in flair and style.
00:10You just can't help but stare at my subwoofer.
00:14I'm nouveau deco, roman greco, rococo, morocco, bebop, hip hop, foot block.
00:19Somebody stop me!
00:21Pretty veridian faces like mine.
00:25Don't come a dime a dozen, I stand out in the crowd.
00:28Babe, when they made me, yeah, they broke the mold.
00:32Wholesome and kind, estate and refined, totally out of my mind.
00:36Spillings and their dwells, had better learn to decorate prison cells.
00:40Gringos, quit anything if they ask, see.
00:43Well, there's one last thing I gotta sing about.
00:45Open up wide and really shout.
00:47Oh, look out!
00:50This is the mask.
00:55Smokey!
00:58How come the closest I get to female companionship is my landlady's bad breath in my face?
01:04Could stop by the bank and see Matilda.
01:07She's going out with me Friday.
01:09Well, not going out, exactly, but she agreed to maybe let me walk her to her car.
01:14Marcus!
01:15How many times do I have to tell you?
01:18You're thinking too loud!
01:20What I'd like to do to her, I wish.
01:29But I know who can.
01:32Time for a little visit from our friend, the mask.
01:37I'll show her thinking loud.
01:45No, I can't.
01:47But I want to.
01:48No, yes.
01:49No, yes.
01:50No, yes.
01:51Must make peenmen pay dearly.
01:54No!
01:55Must use mask for good.
01:56Oh, man, that was close.
02:04Milo, buddy, that mask is really dangerous.
02:07Don't you ever let me use it, okay?
02:14The Edge City bank alarm.
02:17Matilda!
02:17Matilda!
02:19Just this once.
02:20What's that radical?
02:46Smokin'.
02:47It's hazardous to your health.
02:49This has been a public service announcement.
03:00Come on, come on, come on.
03:02What?
03:03Are we there yet, Daddy?
03:04Get out.
03:05You first.
03:09My day job!
03:11I just can't get enough of this place.
03:19Skydiver's rule number one.
03:21Always pack a parachute.
03:24I could hold you in my arms all night long, but the woman I love is in that bank.
03:29I'm sorry, did you still need me?
03:37Nothing like getting a workout for the full body massage, eh, champ?
03:41You're a wrecking machine!
03:43It hurts so good.
03:47Point of interest.
03:48You dropped your towel.
03:49You're not robbing any bank.
04:00Fair Matilda, I doth come to thine rescue!
04:18Fair Matilda, I doth...
04:23She doth not seem impressed by the heavy metal look, forsooth.
04:34So Liam, Montana, I done warned y'all not to be robbing banks in my town.
04:38Now I'm gonna have to take you in.
04:39But first...
04:48Hey, where's the car?
04:49Where's the garbage, Fred?
04:50Hold on.
04:51I'm sorry.
04:51Hey, come on, let's go.
04:55Matilda!
04:57Wherefore art thou, Matilda?
05:02Matilda!
05:06Oh, look at the time.
05:07I can't...
05:08Okay, look, I gotta go.
05:09Be a good dog, Milo.
05:11Peggy!
05:12Stanley, you made the front page.
05:15Surveillance camera's got it all.
05:17What are you talking...
05:18Ah!
05:19Peggy, how could you...
05:20Oh, just the facts, really.
05:23For a second there, I thought it was a real newspaper.
05:25Hey, I don't make fun of your job.
05:29Look, Stanley, you're my only hope of making it in this business.
05:32You're in real news.
05:33You think I like reporting about Martian landings and Elvis sightings?
05:37Okay, okay.
05:38Hey, so I sold you up the river to some mobsters once.
05:41Can't we put that behind us?
05:44Oh, Stanley, I won't let on you the mask.
05:47Promise.
05:51Reflex?
05:52You're the only one who knows my secret.
05:55Well, you and Milo.
05:58The masked man with the powers of a superman strikes again.
06:03I've been following his exploits with much scientific curiosity.
06:07But I'm an impatient reader.
06:10Gentlemen, make the true identity of the mask known to me.
06:16There are things he and I need to discuss.
06:20Please have everything under control.
06:25No need to alarm the public with grim times.
06:29We must emphasize the positive.
06:32The unveiling of my new statue, for instance.
06:33This evening, Edge City Square.
06:35Oh, I look so good.
06:36And be true to our slogan, Edge City, where the fluff is and crime isn't.
06:44Duck and cover.
06:45There's shooting at me.
06:46Oh, not the face.
06:46Ah!
06:47Ah!
06:57Mayor.
07:00Carnage tuning.
07:06Your final paycheck, Matilda?
07:08Better luck at your next job.
07:12Oh, look.
07:13Here's Stanley with a parting gift.
07:17Charlie, you can't fire her.
07:21It's not her fault the crooks got away.
07:22Oh, yes, I can fire her.
07:25Since I'm now, ahem, bank manager.
07:28But I'm not firing her.
07:29She's quitting.
07:31Is it true, Matilda?
07:32Yeah, you betcha.
07:33I'm leaving the bank and Edge City.
07:35Too many cocos in this town.
07:37The green face, it was horrible.
07:40It, it knew my name.
07:44I guess Fran is off then.
07:47Don't take it personally, buddy.
07:51It's not like that was you here in the bank last night.
07:54Was it?
07:56Me?
07:57Me?
07:58Charlie, come on.
08:00Charlie, you know I got rid of that thing.
08:03Yeah, too bad.
08:05Gentlemen, I'm the, ahem, bank manager.
08:09I'm happy for you, Scooter, but if I catch that cough you're passing around, I'll show you a game we play downtown with a rubber hose.
08:14And if you think that sounds like fun, think again.
08:17Drop the dumb activist.
08:18Not only was the mask here last night, but he was seen in your apartment building on your floor.
08:22What a coincidence.
08:24Coincidence?
08:25Sure.
08:25Like Doyle eating that donut's a coincidence.
08:27Aye, huh?
08:28It's an act of nature.
08:35Lieutenant, your pants.
08:38Doyle!
08:40I know.
08:42Better not slip up, Butterfingers.
08:44Because nothing would make me happier than giving payback to some green-faced freak who hands out bum cigars to sweet old ladies.
08:52Sweet!
09:03Stanley, I'm running late. Could you babysit for a spell?
09:05Oh, thank you. You're such a dear. I won't be long.
09:07Oh, please, it's Francis.
09:08I do volunteer. I work for Mary Tilton's Keep That Seated Bluffet Project, you know.
09:11They're in building a statue in his honor today.
09:14Oh, and no cartoons for Vibe. They're too violent!
09:20The police suspect he's the mask.
09:22Then we must get to this Ipkiss before they do.
09:26Right.
09:27Remain!
09:29His fighting abilities could prove too uncanny for the likes of a mere human.
09:34Walter!
09:38Bring Ipkiss to me.
09:44Milo, Matilda called me it.
09:50It!
09:52Well, not me, exactly, but it is me.
09:54I mean, he is me.
09:56Isn't he?
09:57Whatever.
09:58I mean, the mask didn't even stop the crooks.
10:07Didn't give me a date, either.
10:09Some Casanova, some crime fighter.
10:12The only thing he did do was to get on the most wanted list and blow up Mrs. Peenman.
10:17Okay, so she deserved it.
10:20But the point is, the mask can't be trusted.
10:22It has a mind of its own.
10:25Milo, that mask doesn't help me.
10:27It just makes my life miserable.
10:31You know, maybe I should just get rid of it.
10:34No!
10:34I hate to spoil all your fun.
11:03No!
11:04No!
11:05No!
11:06No!
11:07No!
11:08No!
11:09No!
11:10Family?
11:11Baby?
11:12Everything all right in there?
11:14Hey, give me the mask.
11:17Come on, baby.
11:18Come on.
11:19Oh!
11:20What?
11:21Oh!
11:22Buddy, you are out of here!
11:26Let her rip!
11:33So long, pal.
11:34It's been real.
11:35Nope.
11:36It's been surreal.
11:38Hey, guess what?
11:39I ain't got no mask.
11:40Don't you dare ask, cause I ain't got no mask.
11:41That's amazing, but it's gone, baby.
11:42Yadda-ba-badoo-dee-din-a-mush-up-in-my pencil.
11:43No, it's been surreal.
11:58Hey, guess what? I ain't got no mask. Don't you dare ask, cause I ain't got no mask.
12:03That's amazing, but it's gone, baby.
12:09Stanley, you know I look for every opportunity
12:12to offer you career advancement.
12:14Boy, you are always thinking, aren't you, Chuck?
12:16I guess that's why you're the, ahem, bank manager.
12:22Gee, you're perky today.
12:24Awesome! I've got something to show you.
12:27The House of Tomorrow.
12:30Well, it was the House of Tomorrow yesterday.
12:33But anyway, our bank acquired this one-of-a-kind masterwork
12:36of modern Americana today.
12:42It's neat. Neat.
12:47It's the eighth wonder of the planet.
12:50It's all robots, Stanley.
12:52Robot maids, robot laundry,
12:54and the whole thing elevates on quarter-mile-high robot stilts
12:56so you can change the view.
12:58Oh, look! Here comes old Slipper Fetcher now!
13:12Cool. Play's dead.
13:14Place needs a little work.
13:16Yeah, so why bring me here?
13:18Brainstorm! We take some initiative.
13:20We impress our boss.
13:22We whip this place into shape!
13:25Well, you whip while I, ahem, supervise.
13:29But, Charlie, I'm in new accounts.
13:31I work in the bank.
13:33Uh-uh-uh. With that attitude,
13:35you'll never get to be, ahem, Charlie.
13:38I don't know anything about manual labor.
13:41Well, it's not real manual labor.
13:43Just a squirt of oil here, tighten a bolt there.
13:46Okay, circuit box needs an overhaul.
13:59Well, let's see.
14:00A squirt of oil here.
14:01Hold the bolt there.
14:02And it's...
14:03Let's go the weasel!
14:11Oh, somebody stop me!
14:16Stanley! Hello!
14:18I'm talking here!
14:20Uh-huh, you're thinking about Matilda, aren't you?
14:23Uh, no.
14:25Okay, okay, I'll help.
14:27I mean, I'm on the bank's payroll.
14:28If they want to pay me to do manual labor,
14:30instead of new accounts, who am I to say?
14:33Well, you are needed in new accounts,
14:37which is why you'll be doing this...
14:39after hours.
14:41Meet me back here at Five Sharp, okay?
14:44You're a guy.
14:45Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
14:47Almost forgot.
14:48Uh, get this to the post office on your way back.
14:50Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
14:52Very importanto.
14:54Insurance papers for the house.
14:56An irreplaceable one-of-a-kind view like this
14:58needs to be insured.
15:02This wouldn't be happening if I still had the mask.
15:05Oh, who am I kidding?
15:10I did the right thing.
15:12I'll be Bank President one day
15:14without the mask's help.
15:15Ah!
15:18Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
15:19Here, here, take this.
15:26I meant just the wallet!
15:28Not the...
15:29Oh!
15:30Oh!
15:31Oh!
15:32Oh!
15:33Oh!
15:34Ah!
15:37Oh!
15:38Oh!
15:39Ah!
15:41I am Pretorius!
15:45Congratulations.
15:46Your test results reveal you're a normal, healthy young man.
15:50the young man. Except for the psychological profile, it seems you're impressed and suffer
15:58from an overactive superego. That means there's a wild man inside you, wanting to get out.
16:06But there is no indication you possess any superhuman qualities. It is as I hypothesized.
16:17Your power must lie in the mask. What's that about a mask? I don't know what you're talking
16:25about. Okay, this is some joke. I don't have time for it because I've got an envelope to
16:33mail, mister! I assure you, Mr. Ipkiss, this is no joke. Do you find a disembodied talking
16:44head funny, Mr. Ipkiss? I think not. Wow. Why? I supervise the surgical removal of my head
16:54to allow for maximum flexibility. You see, Mr. Ipkiss, I'm so busy. I have projects scheduled
17:04until the turn of the century. Mental note. Purchase new day planner. Now that there are
17:11two of me, I can divide my chores into head projects and body projects.
17:19Do you take me seriously now, Mr. Ipkiss? Huh? Wow. What do you want with the mask?
17:34I want to analyze it. If I determine its basic molecular components, I can manufacture knock-offs.
17:42With masks like yours, my henchmen can become an invincible fighting force. And you want
17:52me to give my mask to you? I-I mean, if I had a mask, I-I wouldn't give it to you.
17:59Walter!
18:00No! Can you leave him out of this? Oh, Walter's very effective in that mindless killing machine
18:14sort of way. Okay. Okay, I got rid of the mask. I-I-I buried it in some concrete.
18:19Very well. Walter?
18:23Sir, there's an intruder on the premises. Walter, later. Come with me. Think it over.
18:47While you await our return.
18:54Milo, buddy, c-c-can you pick the lock?
18:57Pick it!
19:03Not lick. Pick!
19:10Peggy!
19:11Hey, Stanley!
19:12Milo! Adventure dog!
19:17How-how did you find me?
19:20Followed you? You weren't hard to miss, you and your buddy, the son of Frankenstein. You
19:26scream like a girl, you know?
19:28I do not-this-never mind. Just-would you untie me, please?
19:31Well, what kind of a story would that be? Come on, Stanley, surely the mask can get out
19:36of this? Go on! I'm ready!
19:38Peggy! There is no more mask! It's over! I buried it forever! Now, would you please
19:45untie me before they kill us all?
19:48Gee, Stanley, you could have considered my career before you went and did that.
19:54The intruder! Get her!
19:57Oh!
19:59Peggy!
20:03Ow!
20:04Let go of me!
20:14I'm warning you! I know, uh...
20:17Oh, Mad Monkey Kung Fu!
20:24Oh, boy. If I fight and I'm doomed, then nobody will save Peggy and Milo. There's only one thing to do.
20:29There's only one thing to do.
20:39Fetch him back!
20:44Ah, Miss Brant. I'm a big fan of your writing. Tell me, did Sasquatch really have a Siamese twin who was abducted by aliens?
20:55Got to get the mask!
21:10Great...
21:18Landfill park. Ingenious!
21:22Hey!
21:24Hey!
21:26Hey!
21:30Hey!
21:32Hey!
21:34Hey!
21:36Hey!
21:38Oh, man.
21:40The mask!
21:42No!
21:44Oh, man!
21:46The mask!
21:48No!
21:50The mask!
21:52No!
21:54How could it be?
21:56Mister, that there is quick-drying cement.
22:08Oh, come on.
22:10That hurt a little.
22:16Oh, sure. This cement is still wet.
22:18Still wet.
22:20But also quick-drying.
22:24Peggy.
22:26Milo.
22:28I'm sorry.
22:30Will Ape Kiss get out of this gem?
22:32Find out next time on...
22:34The Mask.
22:36No!
22:37I'm sorry.
22:38The Mask.
22:40The Mask.
22:42Absolutely not.
22:44The Mask.
22:45The Mask.
22:46I can't wait for anything.
22:48I can't wait.
22:50No!
22:51I can't wait.
22:52I can't wait.
22:54No!
22:55Yes!
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